The One With the Thing: All Episodes Talk

[chitowngirl]

I always figured Ross and Carol met, fell in love, married and Carol didn’t realize she was a lesbian until she met Susan and had feelings that she didn’t know were possible. Doesn’t mean what she had with Ross was false.

[Jax7917]

Yeah I think people look too much into Friends sometimes with the fat shaming , homophobia , etc . The show is a comedy and one of the things I love about it was that it was filmed during a time when people just laughed because the joke was funny and people had a sense of humor .  Now everyone looks into every word and every joke and thinks the showrunners or even the characters were racist / homophobic / sexist and everything else . No . They just weren't politically correct. 

Carol was completely in the wrong in her and Ross's relationship . It's one thing to realize she was a lesbian and discuss it with Ross and then split up , share custody , whatever . But instead she cheated on him and then pretty much expected him to disappear or have no say in anything with the baby . She was the worst during the episode where they were talking about what the baby's last name would be and her and Susan thought Bens last name should include Susan's and exclude Ross's . She was pretty awful . 

[Bort]

10 minutes ago, chitowngirl said:

I always figured Ross and Carol met, fell in love, married and Carol didn’t realize she was a lesbian until she met Susan and had feelings that she didn’t know were possible. Doesn’t mean what she had with Ross was false.

That's why I really like that restaurant scene Ross and Carol had. You could see the affection they had for each other but in the end, she felt more for Susan than she did him.

[Katy M]

26 minutes ago, Jaclyn88 said:

But instead she cheated on him and then pretty much expected him to disappear or have no say in anything with the baby .

That's not really true. When she told him she was pregnant, she told him he could be as involved or not as he wanted.  If she really didn't want him to have anything to do with the baby, she and Susan could have moved out of New York and never even told him she was pregnant. 

 

27 minutes ago, Jaclyn88 said:

She was the worst during the episode where they were talking about what the baby's last name would be and her and Susan thought Bens last name should include Susan's and exclude Ross's

I totally agree on that one.  Did we ever find out what Ben's last name is?

[Bort]

The inherent problem with Carol and Susan is that they were fairly early TV portrayals of a lesbian couple, and they were the U-Haul trope.

[slf]

12 hours ago, Nellise said:

I must be missing something, when was Ross being bigoted? Other than him saying it would've been nice to know Carol was gay before they got married (which isn't really homophobia, is it?), he was upset because his wife cheated on him and left him, it just happened to be with a woman. They were together over 5 years and Ross still clearly loved her when they had the episode in the restaurant together so Ross's animosity was losing someone he loved and not about Carol being a lesbian. I think most people wouldn't be happy having to be around their ex and the person the ex cheated with. Ross actually seemed overly accommodating to Carol given what she did to him and the way Susan talked to him. Carol never seemed to apologetic toward him, it was mostly "this is who I really am, sorry not sorry, suck it up Ross."

Frequently. Ross make tons of homophobic comments throughout the series. When he said he should've known she was a lesbian because she drank her beer from a can, the Huey Lewis crack about her lesbian friend Tonya, asking Carol if she was "still" a lesbian because "you never know", freaking out over Ben having a Barbie because it would make him gay, deciding that Carol and Susan gave Ben the Barbie to make him gay, "good shake, good shake" in the OBGYN room (lots of "lesbians, they're just like men!" jokes), calling Susan "Carol's friend" when introducing her (Carol corrects, "life partners" and Ross says, "like buddies", this continues on every time Carol and Susan try to clarify their relationship), Susan's gonna make Emily gay panic, etc.

Quote

Yeah I think people look too much into Friends sometimes with the fat shaming , homophobia , etc . The show is a comedy and one of the things I love about it was that it was filmed during a time when people just laughed because the joke was funny and people had a sense of humor .  Now everyone looks into every word and every joke and thinks the showrunners or even the characters were racist / homophobic / sexist and everything else . No . They just weren't politically correct. 

@Jaclyn88 people expect better from the show (it's possible to enjoy a show while acknowledging its flaws). It's not like people didn't know better in the 90s, it was just more socially acceptable to be an asshole about someone being gay. The show very much did make sexist, homophobic, and transphobic jokes. And managing only two poc in major roles in like ten years of a show set in one of the most racially diverse cities in the world is actually pretty racist.

[ZuluQueenOfDwarves]

So, I assume Aisha Tyler as Charlie was one of the two major POC roles on the show, although given she had a ~1 season arc, I don’t know if she’d be a major role. Who was the other?

[chitowngirl]

Julie in Season 2. He also had a one episode date with a lady who was moving into the neighborhood. She dated Joey at the same time.

[Jax7917]

5 minutes ago, slf said:

Frequently. Ross make tons of homophobic comments throughout the series. When he said he should've known she was a lesbian because she drank her beer from a can, the Huey Lewis crack about her lesbian friend Tonya, asking Carol if she was "still" a lesbian because "you never know", freaking out over Ben having a Barbie because it would make him gay, deciding that Carol and Susan gave Ben the Barbie to make him gay, "good shake, good shake" in the OBGYN room (lots of "lesbians, they're just like men!" jokes), calling Susan "Carol's friend" when introducing her (Carol corrects, "life partners" and Ross says, "like buddies", this continues on every time Carol and Susan try to clarify their relationship), Susan's gonna make Emily gay panic, etc.

@Jaclyn88 people expect better from the show (it's possible to enjoy a show while acknowledging its flaws). It's not like people didn't know better in the 90s, it was just more socially acceptable to be an asshole about someone being gay. The show very much did make sexist, homophobic, and transphobic jokes. And managing only two poc in major roles in like ten years of a show set in one of the most racially diverse cities in the world is actually pretty racist.

I don't agree with the last part . It's not racism just because 6 white people are all good friends . There have been people of color on the show , all who have dated the main characters .. but even if there weren't, that is a pretty big assumption to say that the show is racist. I agree that Ross has said inappropriate things about gay people / stereotypes .. but I'm not seeing the racism . Family matters , moesha , the fresh prince and many other shows have an all black cast . There's a BET channel . Writers can do what they want . 

Im really not writing this post to argue . That comment just bothered me . 

[slf]

15 minutes ago, Jaclyn88 said:

I don't agree with the last part . It's not racism just because 6 white people are all good friends . There have been people of color on the show , all who have dated the main characters .. but even if there weren't, that is a pretty big assumption to say that the show is racist. I agree that Ross has said inappropriate things about gay people / stereotypes .. but I'm not seeing the racism . Family matters , moesha , the fresh prince and many other shows have an all black cast . There's a BET channel . Writers can do what they want . 

Im really not writing this post to argue . That comment just bothered me . 

Shows with all-black casts and the BET network exist exactly because of shows like Friends, tho. They aren't the same.

All I'm saying is, Friends is a show set in New York. That is an incredibly diverse city. And yet 97% of the characters on that show were white. It has quite rightly been criticized for that. Racism very much was a part of Friends.

Edited September 6, 2018 by slf

[voiceover]

1 hour ago, chitowngirl said:

[Ross] also had a one episode date with a lady who was moving into the neighborhood. She dated Joey at the same time.

Gabrielle Union played Kristen.  She ended up dumping both of them at once during her date with Ross -- as the two men were trying to one-up the other.

Actually, all 3 of the guys liked her.  Although she *did reduce Chandler to a gibbering mess in her presence.

[Nellise]

2 hours ago, slf said:

All I'm saying is, Friends is a show set in New York. That is an incredibly diverse city. And yet 97% of the characters on that show were white.

Cities can be diverse, specific neighborhoods within those cities often are not. Here's a demographic map of NYC from 2015: https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2015/07/08/us/census-race-map.html

The black population in the area the show was set is under 2%. Most of the Greenwich Village area is over 80% white and was probably even more so 20 years before that map was made.

[slf]

7 hours ago, Nellise said:

Cities can be diverse, specific neighborhoods within those cities often are not. Here's a demographic map of NYC from 2015: https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2015/07/08/us/census-race-map.html

The black population in the area the show was set is under 2%. Most of the Greenwich Village area is over 80% white and was probably even more so 20 years before that map was made.

And the show writers had no choice but to set it in that neighborhood? 

[Jax7917]

2 hours ago, slf said:

And the show writers had no choice but to set it in that neighborhood? 

I really think you are thinking into this show way too much . I highly doubt they were thinking of racism when planning to set the location of the show . They hardly even mention what part of the city they're in . 

[chitowngirl]

I love Chandler’s Flock of Seagulls hair!

[slf]

8 hours ago, Jaclyn88 said:

I really think you are thinking into this show way too much . I highly doubt they were thinking of racism when planning to set the location of the show . They hardly even mention what part of the city they're in . 

Then why does the racial makeup of that neighborhood matter? Look, all I'm saying is they chose to make a show where 97% of the characters were white. Even if the majority of the neighborhood's population is white there are still people who aren't, right? Even if there aren't, pretend there are. I mean, there are a lot of things about the show that are unrealistic- why was the racial makeup of the neighborhood something they had to be loyal to?

Edited September 6, 2018 by slf

[RainbowBrite]

13 minutes ago, slf said:

Then why does the racial makeup of that neighborhood matter? Look, all I'm saying is they chose to make a show where 97% of the characters were white. Even if the majority of the neighborhood's population is white there are still people who aren't, right? Even if there aren't, pretend there are. I mean, there are a lot of things about the show that are unrealistic- why does is the racial makeup of the neighborhood something they had to be loyal to?

This seems like a question for the creators, not a poster on this forum. They were writing about their early adult years with their group of friends. It was almost thirty years ago. Emphasis on diversity in casting has come up SINCE that time, and that's great, but hold it to 1994 standards, not 2018.

 

On topic: I have not watched an episode in about 8 months, which must be a record for me. I'm trying to decide whether I should start at season 1 and watch right through, or jump around to my favourites to get back into it!

[Katy M]

16 minutes ago, RainbowBrite said:

On topic: I have not watched an episode in about 8 months, which must be a record for me. I'm trying to decide whether I should start at season 1 and watch right through, or jump around to my favourites to get back into it!

Jump around with your favorites.  More fun.

[JNM5505]

1. And one of the creators is gay, wasn't he basing his own lifestyle on Joey and Chandler's queer-like relationship? I think I read that David Crane wanted to show the life he had with his partner on Joey/Chandler. Which is why we saw so many homosexual innuendos between the two men. Could be wrong! Now that is progress in 1994, when everyone thought gay sex was as bad as the Bubonic Plague. I mean, I could be wrong here, I was only nine then. l o l

Now can we move on already?

2. Chandler's Flock of Seagulls and Ross' Afro needed to be shown more! Ugh, some of the things the creators didn't explore really bums me out. Or, you know, just have little snippets with Matthew Perry and David Schwimmer wearing that afro and flock of seagull wig. But that seems to be more of a thing today, as opposed to 20 years ago.

@RainbowBrite Jump around with your favorites! Next time I do a watch of FRIENDS (on 9x10 now) I plan to do that instead of starting from the usual starting point of 4x08. :)

 

[slf]

2 hours ago, RainbowBrite said:

This seems like a question for the creators, not a poster on this forum. They were writing about their early adult years with their group of friends. It was almost thirty years ago. Emphasis on diversity in casting has come up SINCE that time, and that's great, but hold it to 1994 standards, not 2018.

I am holding it to 1994 standards. People knew better back then.

[Guest]

If you disagree with a poster and cannot do so civilly, please feel free to put the poster on “ignore” to keep from seeing their posts.

Attacks on other posters will NOT be tolerated.

Thank you.

[slf]

It like the writers sometimes forgot that Ross and Monica were siblings. The One At the Beach is on and they've got the group playing strip Happy Days. Monica's got no pants. Ross is in the chair next to her.

[Danny Franks]

On 05/09/2018 at 9:16 PM, Jaclyn88 said:

Yeah I think people look too much into Friends sometimes with the fat shaming , homophobia , etc . The show is a comedy and one of the things I love about it was that it was filmed during a time when people just laughed because the joke was funny and people had a sense of humor .  Now everyone looks into every word and every joke and thinks the showrunners or even the characters were racist / homophobic / sexist and everything else . No . They just weren't politically correct. 

Carol was completely in the wrong in her and Ross's relationship . It's one thing to realize she was a lesbian and discuss it with Ross and then split up , share custody , whatever . But instead she cheated on him and then pretty much expected him to disappear or have no say in anything with the baby . She was the worst during the episode where they were talking about what the baby's last name would be and her and Susan thought Bens last name should include Susan's and exclude Ross's . She was pretty awful . 

Susan was terrible. Her constant belittling of Ross, her passive-aggressive remarks and general attitude that he was intruding on her life.... She's the one who inserted herself into a relationship and had an affair with Carol, hastening (because they were never going to last) the end of a marriage. Ross had every right to loathe her, not the other way around.

If she'd been a man, she'd have been one of the most despised characters in the history of television. But because she was a lesbian, she seems to get all the breaks when it comes to retrospective looks at the show. Yes, there's a valid argument about how this gay couple were portrayed (although Carol was generally fine), but there's also the argument that the show demonstrated that gay people can be complete dicks just as easily as straight people can.

Some of the homophobic stuff is a bit irritating, now. I just watched the episode where Ross is looking for his "faded salmon" shirt, and the digs about it actually being pink, therefore effeminate, are silly. But what is amusing is, Ross's insistently disputing the colour actually seems more stereotypically gay than a dude just saying 'I only know six colours'. 

Edit: because I got the women's names mixed up.

Edited September 14, 2018 by Danny Franks

[Bort]

4 hours ago, Danny Franks said:

Carol was terrible. Her constant belittling of Ross, her passive-aggressive remarks and general attitude that he was intruding on her life.... She's the one who inserted herself into a relationship and had an affair with Susan, hastening (because they were never going to last) the end of a marriage. Ross had every right to loathe her, not the other way around.

If she'd been a man, she'd have been one of the most despised characters in the history of television. But because she was a lesbian, she seems to get all the breaks when it comes to retrospective looks at the show. Yes, there's a valid argument about how this gay couple were portrayed (although Susan was generally fine), but there's also the argument that the show demonstrated that gay people can be complete dicks just as easily as straight people can.

I agree that Carol was pretty horrible vis a vis her actions while married to Ross, but I didn't feel like she thought Ross was intruding on her new life. I think she clearly would have rather just had her and Susan raise Ben, but knew that Ross had every right to be his father and seemed fine with it. Susan was the one who acted like Ross was intruding, was rude, condescending and basically a big asshole to him.

[Danny Franks]

2 hours ago, kariyaki said:

I agree that Carol was pretty horrible vis a vis her actions while married to Ross, but I didn't feel like she thought Ross was intruding on her new life. I think she clearly would have rather just had her and Susan raise Ben, but knew that Ross had every right to be his father and seemed fine with it. Susan was the one who acted like Ross was intruding, was rude, condescending and basically a big asshole to him.

Ah, I mixed their names up. 

[Bort]

12 hours ago, Danny Franks said:

Ah, I mixed their names up. 

Gotcha. In that case, I totally agree.

[Holden McGroin]

Did Ross cheat on Susan in college?

In Season 7 Ep. 4, while telling secrets, Ross says Chandler slept with the lady that cleaned their dorm, to which Chandler replies that it was actually Ross that slept with her.  Ross said Susan was his first, so they either broke up for a short time (and were pressured to get back together likely by her parents who clearly were not ok with her being a lesbian) or he cheated on her.  

[Madding crowd]

Continuity error I think-Chandler would have mentioned if Ross were married his Freshman/sophomore year of college and other flashbacks show him clearly single in college.

[chitowngirl]

1 hour ago, Holden McGroin said:

Did Ross cheat on Susan in college?

In Season 7 Ep. 4, while telling secrets, Ross says Chandler slept with the lady that cleaned their dorm, to which Chandler replies that it was actually Ross that slept with her.  Ross said Susan was his first, so they either broke up for a short time (and were pressured to get back together likely by her parents who clearly were not ok with her being a lesbian) or he cheated on her.  

Oops, you mean Carol. 

[Nellise]

9 hours ago, Madding crowd said:

Continuity error I think-Chandler would have mentioned if Ross were married his Freshman/sophomore year of college and other flashbacks show him clearly single in college.

I don't think Ross met Carol until after he was in college for at least a year or two. Remember he finished his PhD before the show started and that's 3-4 years at a minumum for most programs and I think they were together 5-6 years(?). For some reason I remember someone saying Ross and Carol were together for 5 years (not sure if that's just the marriage or not), but I can't find anything to confirm that. But Ross definitely had some time in college before he met Carol to do the things that were referred to.

Edited September 18, 2018 by Nellise

[Jax7917]

I think Ross said they were together 4 years before they got married and together 7 years in total . 

[Katy M]

2 hours ago, Nellise said:

I don't think Ross met Carol until after he was in college for at least a year or two. Remember he finished his PhD before the show started and that's 3-4 years at a minumum for most programs and I think they were together 5-6 years(?). For some reason I remember someone saying Ross and Carol were together for 5 years (not sure if that's just the marriage or not), but I can't find anything to confirm that. But Ross definitely had some time in college before he met Carol to do the things that were referred to.

He definitely met Carol freshman year of college. It's in the Thanksgiving flashback.  "She plays for both teams."    But, that doesn't mean they did anything more than go out on a casual date once in a while until later.  He did have that vow with Chandler not to pursue with that other girl they both liked (that Chandler ended up breaking).  

[Nellise]

1 hour ago, Katy M said:

He definitely met Carol freshman year of college. It's in the Thanksgiving flashback.  "She plays for both teams."    But, that doesn't mean they did anything more than go out on a casual date once in a while until later.  He did have that vow with Chandler not to pursue with that other girl they both liked (that Chandler ended up breaking).  

Ok thanks. I found a site that lists the timelines and it's definitely wonky with Ross and Carol (and with how old Ross is in general), http://friends.wikia.com/wiki/Timeline

"1986: Ross and Carol get together, according to The One With The Flashback. He says they've been together for seven years in a flashback that took place in late 1993.

1987: Ross went to college. This doesn't match with his birthday and the fact that he skipped a grade

1988: Ross and Carol meet each other, according to The One With All The Thanksgivings.

1993: Ross and Carol have sex for the last time, where they conceive Ben.

1994: Ross moves out from living with Carol."

Edited September 18, 2018 by Nellise

[Bort]

2 hours ago, Katy M said:

He definitely met Carol freshman year of college. It's in the Thanksgiving flashback.  "She plays for both teams."    But, that doesn't mean they did anything more than go out on a casual date once in a while until later.  He did have that vow with Chandler not to pursue with that other girl they both liked (that Chandler ended up breaking).  

Ross met Carol in his sophomore year. The first Thanksgiving flashback when Monica was still fat and he had his Gabe Kaplan look (and Chandler had Flock of Seagulls) was his freshman year. Sophomore year was the next flashback when Monica was thin, Ross and Chandler rocked the Miami Vice look and Ross had just met Carol.

[slf]

On 9/11/2018 at 5:41 PM, Danny Franks said:

She's the one who inserted herself into a relationship and had an affair with Carol, hastening (because they were never going to last) the end of a marriage. Ross had every right to loathe her, not the other way around.

If she'd been a man, she'd have been one of the most despised characters in the history of television.

I feel like that's giving Susan a lot more control over Carol and Ross' marriage than she had. Only someone in a relationship can have an affair, break a vow, etc. Carol made the choice to pursue a relationship outside of her marriage.

TV is littered with rapist and murderers (and men who've stepped out on their significant other) so I find that hard to believe.

[amazinglybored]

I’m re-watching it and some of the gay jokes have aged better than I thought they would. Or to be more accurate would live on today in similar forms.

the chandler and Joey in a relationship jokes would live in as poking fun at shippers. 

A lot of chandler’s issues would be a clear character thing from his relationship with his father and how toxic his parents’ marriage was.

The gay freakout stuff would be jokes at fragile masculinity.

 

 

So yeah, the intent would change and there would be tweaks but I’m not sure how many would be outright removed if it was made today. The fat jokes would probably get nailed the most. Carol and Susan probably wouldn’t be such assholes would Ross’ place with Ben either.             

[VCRTracking]

Someone posted this astute observation in the comments section of a clip on YouTube of Phoebe saying "Is daddy going to spank me?" from the lottery episode:

Quote

its interesting, when everyone is normal, phoebe is a little crazy. but when everybody is crazy, she become a rational person

[Nordly Beaumont]

With all the commercials for Bohemian Rhapsody, I find myself singing "we will we will ... callyouback" (Even though I'm a big Queen fan! Ross ruined me!)

Also, about a month ago, I put my hand in my pocket and found a twenty. I actually said out loud "Huh, these must be Chandler's pants"

It's possible I watch this show too often...

[chitowngirl]

Whenever Nick at Night gets to the end of the series, they always show Rachel’s going away party after the finale. 

[JessDVD]

So, it's almost Thanksgiving. Who's up for an every Thanksgiving Friends episode marathon while making their pies tomorrow or Thursday?? 

[Bort]

TBS is marathonning all the T-Day episodes on Thursday.

[Inquisitionist]

The One Where Ross Got High is not only a terrific Thanksgiving episode, it's one of my all-time favorite episodes of Friends, period.  "I love Jacques Cousteau!"

[JessDVD]

TBS would be my best friend except that's when I'm supposed to be eating dinner with my FIL and my husband and my children, none of whom are either old enough or containing a sense of humor advanced enough, to watch it with me...

[Crs97]

“That’s a lot of information to get in 30 seconds!”

[HazelEyes4325]

4 hours ago, Inquisitionist said:

The One Where Ross Got High is not only a terrific Thanksgiving episode, it's one of my all-time favorite episodes of Friends, period.  "I love Jacques Cousteau!"

Yep, this is my #1 Friends episode.  I love it.  (But I'll be watching all the other T-day episodes tomorrow when I'm doing my prep!)

[DkNNy79]

6 hours ago, JessDVD said:

So, it's almost Thanksgiving. Who's up for an every Thanksgiving Friends episode marathon while making their pies tomorrow or Thursday?? 

Me!  Every Halloween I love watching every Halloween Roseanne episode.  Every Thanksgiving I love watching every Thanksgiving Friends episode.

[AriAu]

Quote

“That’s a lot of information to get in 30 seconds!”

"It tastes like feet" is the line that cracks me up, but yes, that is as funny as Judy Geller ever gets

[Inquisitionist]

26 minutes ago, AriAu said:

"It tastes like feet" is the line that cracks me up, but yes, that is as funny as Judy Geller ever gets

"Phoebe, I think Jacques Cousteau is dead."  (Said with concern.)

[Guest]

That is my absolute favorite Friends episode of all time. 

“Chandler! You've been Ross' best friend all this years, stuck by and during the drug problems. And now you've taken on Monica as well. Well, I don't know what to say. You're a wonderful human being.

”Thank you! “

“No, thank you. And Monica and Ross, I don't know what I'm gonna do about the two of you.”

” I'll talk to them.”

^^gets me every time

[Bort]

Have you all heard Matt LeBlanc's story about the trifle? It's hilarious.