S13.E08: Where's The Beef

[Christina]

I have been pretty lukewarm and cold on this show. I gave up on the first year because I couldn't stand Katie Lee's voice, and skip everything she is in to this day. I gave up on season 2 because I was annoyed by Padma and some of the chefs, but I don't remember the specifics. For many years, Bravo wasn't in my package and I didn't care enough to search out this show. I've only watched this year because I enjoy the reviews here and at Uproxx.

 

After his episode, I was ready to bail this year too, for all the reasons already described. It wasn't a fun watching experience and I'm not really invested in any of the chefs. I've also read a spoiler about the final three, and I'm okay with them, but if true, it kind of takes away some of the surprise. There is a gambling site that pulled the option to bid on the finalists based on some photos that are out there showing three contestants after a forth one was cut. 

 

When the challenge was announced and Padma said there wouldn't be utensils, it seemed apparent to me that they would think that they had to portion the food. At the table, the judges were complaining that their expectations weren't being met, and the chefs were all confused. To top off the suckiness of the episode, I saw Ron Funches but didn't get to hear him!

[In Pog Form]

I am still waiting for this whole 'I need meat on top of meat!" and "put bacon in my cocktails please!" ridiculousness to end.

I don't think it it will ever end. At least not until some global crisis that threatens even the ultra-wealthy with starvation. But even then, they'll probably just turn to cannibalism for their food orgies.

[Wings]

I have been pretty lukewarm and cold on this show. I gave up on the first year because I couldn't stand Katie Lee's voice, and skip everything she is in to this day. I gave up on season 2 because I was annoyed by Padma and some of the chefs, but I don't remember the specifics. For many years, Bravo wasn't in my package and I didn't care enough to search out this show. I've only watched this year because I enjoy the reviews here and at Uproxx.

 

After his episode, I was ready to bail this year too, for all the reasons already described. It wasn't a fun watching experience and I'm not really invested in any of the chefs. I've also read a spoiler about the final three, and I'm okay with them, but if true, it kind of takes away some of the surprise. There is a gambling site that pulled the option to bid on the finalists based on some photos that are out there showing three contestants after a forth one was cut. 

 

When the challenge was announced and Padma said there wouldn't be utensils, it seemed apparent to me that they would think that they had to portion the food. At the table, the judges were complaining that their expectations weren't being met, and the chefs were all confused. To top off the suckiness of the episode, I saw Ron Funches but didn't get to hear him!

 

 

Post what you know in the spoiler thread, some like to know.  

[Veruca Assault]

As this is Top Chef (or Top Carrot this year) and not Top Fundraising Show, let's move along from the discussion on the fundraising aspect. That topic has been beat into a bloody, beefy steak. Thanks all!

[Qoass]

While it was interesting as a one-time thing, I think it's a bad idea to keep who won immunity a secret until Judges' Table.  Immunity affects how people choose teams and divvy up responsibilities and it also allows for someone to take interesting risks they wouldn't ordinarily take since they won't lose if something doesn't work out.  Granted, nobody got to pick their own teammates this week but immunity can really make a difference in strategy.

[DarkRaichu]

I am not a chef so I might have over-simplified, but what part of this elimination challenge did not scream "BBQ RIBS" to any of the cheftestants ????

Edited February 1, 2016 by DarkRaichu

[Wings]

Seems the quick fire was inspired by this.  It may be a thing happening. 

 

http://distractify.com/humor/2016/02/01/koh-thought-it-was-some-brooklynite

Why didn't anyone grill a turkey drumstick and corn on the cob or a whole fish like a trout or a small salmon?

 

 

Because the instructions were not clear.  They heard finger food and knowing Top Chef standards avoided anything simple, large and crude which is really what they wanted.  

[In Pog Form]

Seems the quick fire was inspired by this.  It may be a thing happening. 

 

http://distractify.com/humor/2016/02/01/koh-thought-it-was-some-brooklynite

That was explicitly stated during the introduction to the quickfire.

Edited February 1, 2016 by In Pog Form

[Auntie Anxiety]

BBQ ribs would have been an excellent dish. Maybe WF didn't have 100 big beef ribs, although they could have done short ribs. I was thinking that whole (or halved) rock cornish game hens could have been offered.

[Wings]

That was explicitly stated during the introduction to the quickfire.

 

 

Thanks.

 

note to self: pay attention  

[still hoping]

Hi...just jumping in with some random thoughts - had high hopes for this season - but - mehhhh

 

thought the "travel around California" would be cool but it means they don't bond or "go crazy" in the house, we see a lot of hotels and travel in the suv's. Yawn

 

I have not seen much food that I would like to eat. I am firmly on the idea that we need name tags - or a standard intro visual each week - to learn names. I still don't know some of them. Lots of them seem alike and we don't see them "in the house" much so...who is who?

 

I dislike beards and never like the idea of eating anything that beardy guys make but the guy eliminated was ok, seemed nice enough. I also have developed an "ewww" when I see these chefs or the ones on HK puffing on cigarettes. Ugh.

 

Now...always au contaire - I don't dislike Phillip - he loves his wife, so what? We get to hear that obnoxious Karen with the "trendy 10 years ago" dyed hair whine bout her "spouse" who is one fugly person whether man or woman.  She seems like a combination of various other contestants - and I would love to see her booted

 

I like Kwame and the dark haired girl seems sincere. I don't like carrots ugh. Most of the food this season is blah. I do think Phillip fulfilled the weird challenge..I did wonder why some didn't do wings or chicken legs or turkey legs? Or maybe small pork chops?

[RCharter]

^^Phillip is annoying in an entertaining way.  For me, I roll my eyes and laugh, because it is all so LA.  And I say this with all the love in the world, but there are so many Philips here, its probably why he had to put his giant picture on his restaurant so people didn't get him confused.  He could almost be an SNL skit. Jason was annoying in a scary way.  I remember him saying something about how he would yell at people and "chew them out" and he almost said it with pride in his voice and I remember thinking....good god what a miserable human being.  

 

I think Phillip is a pretentious douche, I think he will be super insufferable now that he has won, but I don't see that same misery in him.

 

Carrots = the worst!  But I do love that they are travelling California, especially every time they visit a place I've been!  I see your point though.

[Kromm]

Why was Ron Funches being sat right next to Padma totally ignored by the show?  I DON'T GET IT!    Colin Hanks gets words but not Funches?

 

Phillip... still a wanker/douchenozzle, even if the episode wanted us to feel for him too.

Edited February 2, 2016 by Kromm

[Solokitty]

Was puzzled by the chefs response to this challenge.  All I was thinking of besides the side-o-beef would have been turkey drumsticks like at renaissance fairs...but that brings up why they send the chefs to a grocery store (albeit Whole Foods) to get food to feed 200!  Why don't they send them to a restaurant supplier when they have to cook for so many?  They probably could have gotten a better price and larger cuts in such a store... 

[meep.meep]

I am not a chef so I might have over-simplified, but what part of this elimination challenge did not scream "BBQ RIBS" to any of the cheftestants ????

 

Probably the length of time they had to cook.  Being perfectionists they know that BBQ means low and slow and you can't do that in 2-3 hours. 

Thank god What's His Name got to cook carrots!  He was looking a little pale.

[Kromm]

Probably the length of time they had to cook.  Being perfectionists they know that BBQ means low and slow and you can't do that in 2-3 hours.

Low and slow isn't as much of a factor with Ribs as it is with whole sides of meat/big cuts. Of course you can always pressure cook them, but that's not viable for large quantities. But even grilling works okay as long as you wrap them in foil for most of the cook. The issue is not losing moisture.

[ProudMary]

I just have to say that I'm astonished at how many people here don't like carrots!  Perhaps they're not the world's most exciting vegetable but they're more than palatable and you can dress them up in many delicious ways.  I was even able to get my kids to eat carrots when they were little and they turned their little noses up at just about any vegetable that wasn't corn.  I can somewhat understand people not liking green, leafy veggies (although I love 'em all.)  But carrots?  I truly don't get it.  I thought pretty much everyone would at least put carrots in their "OK" column.

 

Carry on...

[Kromm]

I despise Carrot cake, and boiled carrots are marginal as well, but carrots can taste really good when you grill (or otherwise efficiently roast) them.  The goal is to get the sugars in them to convert (what I guess most people mislabel as "carmelization" although I understand that's not actually the right term for it).   In fact, unlike a lot of other foods (although somewhat like potatoes) you actually want to stop just short of burning them, and not fear them drying out (basically the opposite of meat). Carrots in that state can taste really good.

[RCharter]

I just have to say that I'm astonished at how many people here don't like carrots!  Perhaps they're not the world's most exciting vegetable but they're more than palatable and you can dress them up in many delicious ways.  I was even able to get my kids to eat carrots when they were little and they turned their little noses up at just about any vegetable that wasn't corn.  I can somewhat understand people not liking green, leafy veggies (although I love 'em all.)  But carrots?  I truly don't get it.  I thought pretty much everyone would at least put carrots in their "OK" column.

 

Carry on...

I don't think I would ever be surprised at people not liking a certain food.  We all have different tastes, and so we're lucky to have a variety of foods to eat.

 

Having said that carrots are still gross, but it doesn't at all surprise me that others like them, it takes all sorts to make the world go round.

[windfall]

I just have to say that I'm astonished at how many people here don't like carrots!  Perhaps they're not the world's most exciting vegetable but they're more than palatable and you can dress them up in many delicious ways.  I was even able to get my kids to eat carrots when they were little and they turned their little noses up at just about any vegetable that wasn't corn.  I can somewhat understand people not liking green, leafy veggies (although I love 'em all.)  But carrots?  I truly don't get it.  I thought pretty much everyone would at least put carrots in their "OK" column.

 

Carry on...

I think the complaints are more about the frequency of carrots on the show rather than the carrots themselves. Also, while carrots, and pretty much everything else, is available fresh year round nowadays, this was filmed in late spring/early summer. There must be something that's more "seasonal" my understanding is that carrots are traditionally a late fall crop. Although is that kind of detail something that the judges even care about?

[Julia]

It really should be, since they PYKed someone this season for, basically, not having dead-fresh corn. Although it could easily be that the problem is what they have in stock at Whole Foods.

Which was one reason I side-eyed Chris Cosentino last week, because I seem to recall that his win in TCM - cooking, essentially, fancy paleo for a single table - involved giving up an hour or so of cooking time to make side trips to a butcher and an asian market as well as the required trip to Whole Foods. He knows perfectly well WF isn't the right place to shop for some challenges.

[biakbiak]

It really should be, since they PYKed someone this season for, basically, not having dead-fresh corn. Although it could easily be that the problem is what they have in stock at Whole Foods.

Which was one reason I side-eyed Chris Cosentino last week, because I seem to recall that his win in TCM - cooking, essentially, fancy paleo for a single table - involved giving up an hour or so of cooking time to make side trips to a butcher and an asian market as well as the required trip to Whole Foods. He knows perfectly well WF isn't the right place to shop for some challenges.

I might be misremebering but I don't think that TCM challenge was paleo but even if it was Chris did in fact make it work on several TCM challenges which included sprinting across the grocery store to save a protein for another chefs dish and rescuing Art when his wedding cake was disintegrating. So i think he does understand the challenges he just did what he told them to do adapt.

[Julia]

I might be misremebering but I don't think that TCM challenge was paleo but even if it was Chris did in fact make it work on several TCM challenges which included sprinting across the grocery store to save a protein for another chefs dish and rescuing Art when his wedding cake was disintegrating. So i think he does understand the challenges he just did what he told them to do adapt.

No, the challenge wasn't paleo. It was the finale, where he was supposed to communicate through food. It was the menu that was paleo, and they didn't have the ingredients for it at Whole Foods.

[biakbiak]

No, the challenge wasn't paleo. It was the finale, where he was supposed to communicate through food. It was the menu that was paleo, and they didn't have the ingredients for it at Whole Foods.

I guess I don't get the criticism. Even this season has had challenges that didn't have them shopping at WF, Chris was saying he had done challenges that were limited by store or design so don't fall back to tht as an excuse. I think they should have been able to source different proteins but only one contestant is shown rethinking their dish when they realized WF didn't have what they wanted. The failure was in menu design not the store.

Edited February 4, 2016 by biakbiak

[Julia]

I'm not sure how what you're saying relates to what I said. The judges said that the problem was that there weren't big chunks of animal protein in the dishes they cooked for a great many people. Whole Foods is a gourmet retail market, and they don't specialize in big chunks of animal protein for a great many people. Cosentino presumably is aware of their shortcomings as a purveyor, since he chose to give up cooking time to buy meat elsewhere when he was planning his signature menu of chunks of animal protein.

Outside that, I cheerfully concede your point.

Edited February 4, 2016 by Julia

[VintageJ]

WI know it wasn't available, but whole roasted pig plopped on the table would have been good. Couscous as a side dish (not necessarily for the pig) would have been great as it is good for eating with your hands. Went to a Morrocan restaurant and we ate 6 courses with our hands.

[RCharter]

^^I feel like the one meal I mostly ate with bread/hands was an Ethopian dinner I had a while back.  The bread was very interesting....almost spongy and vinegary, but very tasty.   And it was a great complement to the meat dish IIRC.  

 

For my money, I think that the confusion with this event was actually what Phillip has been complaining about all along.  It was in trying to understand what the judges really wanted.  Sure, the judges can say they want this decadent, dirty, meat party......but can you just see Padma's face if you served her a slab of beef and that wasn't what she meant?  Or the chance that Tom acts annoyed and says " I don't know why they just gave us this steak, that shows no imagination, instead of interpreting it, they literally gave us beef...steak. We told them that this was an elevated and updated event and they did nothing but serve us some hunks of meat, I mean, its good, but still, they should have updated it." and so on and so forth.

 

They had said that this was a old school, caveman, eat big slabs of beef with your hands event but that it had been elevated and updated.  That sort of leaves the question of how it has been updated and elevated, they flashed a picture of that guy serving stuff out of a serving dish but you didn't see exactly what it was in there.  Elevated and updated may mean microgreens, or a piece of fish.  

[rho]

While it was interesting as a one-time thing, I think it's a bad idea to keep who won immunity a secret until Judges' Table.  Immunity affects how people choose teams and divvy up responsibilities and it also allows for someone to take interesting risks they wouldn't ordinarily take since they won't lose if something doesn't work out.  Granted, nobody got to pick their own teammates this week but immunity can really make a difference in strategy.

 

I'm still salty about the New Orleans season when one of the chefs with immunity basically bombed two dishes and sent someone else on his team home. I stopped watching after that but I think he ended up winning in the end. I like the idea of not disclosing immunity, especially with a group challenge. Let's do that more often!

 

^^Phillip is annoying in an entertaining way.  For me, I roll my eyes and laugh, because it is all so LA.  And I say this with all the love in the world, but there are so many Philips here, its probably why he had to put his giant picture on his restaurant so people didn't get him confused.  He could almost be an SNL skit. Jason was annoying in a scary way.  I remember him saying something about how he would yell at people and "chew them out" and he almost said it with pride in his voice and I remember thinking....good god what a miserable human being.  

 

I think Phillip is a pretentious douche, I think he will be super insufferable now that he has won, but I don't see that same misery in him.

 

I was so bored during this episode that I started to think the same thing. Phillip's completely unaware talking heads are everything this season. I nearly died when they played him and Isaac back to back talking about "you eat with your eyes." And when the episode opened with him all excited "the judges said I can cook what I want" like it's not fucking summer camp. It's Top Chef. Every idiot knows Tom likes it salty and Padma like it spicy. But then I found myself thinking I'll miss his naive commentary if they send him home. Maybe we can start a pop-up version of Top Chef and a disembodied Phillip in the corner can weigh in with his opinion.

[ratgirlagogo]

 

an Ethopian dinner I had a while back.  The bread was very interesting....almost spongy and vinegary, but very tasty.   

Yes, that bread is called injera.   - the whole meal kind of revolves around the bread and everything is minced up so you can pick it up with the bread.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Injera

 

Interesting as it would have been, I don't see how anyone could have successfully done it for this challenge within the time frame.   There are a lot of world cuisines that involve eating with your hands - but once this event was defined as a Beefsteak the cheftestants pretty much knew the keywords were Caveman and Decadent. Though I suppose somebody could have gone for some elevated but horrific thing like ortolans or shark fins or Bonsai Kittens for the Decadence.

[Corgi-ears]

For my money, I think that the confusion with this event was actually...in trying to understand what the judges really wanted.

 

 

 

Everyone's been complaining about this aspect of the episode as if it was an unintentional shortcoming. It's entirely possible that it's...not. It's possible that judges left things vague -- after all, this is a competition, and part of the challenge can come from asking chefs to problem-solve without always having all needed information etc. (that would be a generous interpretation). Or perhaps the producers and judges wanted to stir shit up, do a challenge that isn't just about leaving all the chefs to do their best under optimal circumstances, because it's fun to have an episode every now and then where chefs bomb, especially when it allows viewers to imagine how they could have done better, etc (the less generous version of the same idea). 

[whirlingdervish]

BBQ ribs would have been an excellent dish. Maybe WF didn't have 100 big beef ribs, although they could have done short ribs. I was thinking that whole (or halved) rock cornish game hens could have been offered.

 

Ribs would have been perfect! I can't remember, though...how much time did they have to prep and cook?  I wonder if that was a factor in not choosing ribs, which takes hours to do right (in my opinion).  I know you can do them in the pressure cooker quickly, but I imagine not in the quantity they would have needed.  

[bitchin camaro]

Now...always au contaire - I don't dislike Phillip - he loves his wife, so what? We get to hear that obnoxious Karen with the "trendy 10 years ago" dyed hair whine bout her "spouse" who is one fugly person whether man or woman.  She seems like a combination of various other contestants - and I would love to see her booted

 

 

 

You'd like to see her booted because you don't like her hair and her spouse isn't as conventionally attractive as Phillip's? Wow.

[Kromm]

You'd like to see her booted because you don't like her hair and her spouse isn't as conventionally attractive as Phillip's? Wow.

To be fair, while most of those reasons seem somewhat suspect (although Still Hoping has every right to hold them), Karen being "whiny" was mentioned too. People have railed on contestants for a lot less than being whiny.  Then again Still Hoping was also inviting comparison to Phillip, and I don't think anyone on this season has been whinier than Phillip. He spent about 5 solid episodes whining about judge feedback!

[Ellee]

To be fair, while most of those reasons seem somewhat suspect (although Still Hoping has every right to hold them), Karen being "whiny" was mentioned too. People have railed on contestants for a lot less than being whiny.  Then again Still Hoping was also inviting comparison to Phillip, and I don't think anyone on this season has been whinier than Phillip. He spent about 5 solid episodes whining about judge feedback!

Oh, but, Kromm.....Philip was just being himself.......  :D :D :D   And, now, his food will also be his food ....... :D

[Julia]

Oh, but, Kromm.....Philip was just being himself.......  :D :D :D   And, now, his food will also be his food ....... :D

 

That was just so ridiculous. I realize the editors needed some plausible deniability that they weren't keeping him on because he makes good TV, but still.  He's cooking food that nobody, including the judges, likes, and his excuse is that he doesn't stand behind what he's cooking because he's cooking for the judges? No, dude, clearly you aren't, because they don't like what you're cooking. Even if he is consciously making crappy food because he's trying to game the judges, you're in a cooking competition serving crappy food. On purpose, apparently.

Edited February 8, 2016 by Julia

[Reo]

Neil Fraser is the guy who puts on the event. He's got a restaurant in LA which supports it. (I don't think they were at his place, though, but I've never been so I don't know.) I liked Neil when he was on the show, but I agree that this event, as a fundraiser, is gross and thoughtless (and it has nothing to do with the lack of utensils). It's an event about rich people throwing table scraps to hungry people.

 

That said, I was sort of surprised that Isaac didn't do crawfish boil.

 

There's a restaurant in Seattle that has paper tablecloths and serves enormous pots of steamed crabs and vegetables that they literally dump in the middle of the table for the diners to share.  Bibs are required, utensils are not.  How about doing something like that?  Chunks of steamed crab, potatoes, and corn with seasoning and a pot of butter on the side.  (Thinks about getting that for dinner...)

 

That said, I agree with the unfortunate irony of making a pig of yourself for a hunger charity.  Bet it's all ramen and kraft dinner for the lucky recipients down the line.

[SingleMaltBlonde]

Why was Ron Funches being sat right next to Padma totally ignored by the show?  I DON'T GET IT!    Colin Hanks gets words but not Funches?

 

Phillip... still a wanker/douchenozzle, even if the episode wanted us to feel for him too.

 

Glad I wasn't the only one who saw Ron Funches...he tweeted about Padma being his ex.

[ProudMary]

I really got the impression that Padma thought this was going to be her Carl Jr's moment. Where she could get her sexy, sloppy eat on. Has she ever been in a Carl Jr's commercial?

As a matter of fact, yes she has: