S03.E07: Intimacy Part 1

[stuckin60s]

IMHO i think that David cooked dinner for Ashley.  He planned it for her probable arrival time.  the cameras were there for the scheduled filming.  she did not arrive and he left messages. she did not apologize for not answering his messages.  she is unfeeling and didnt respond.  she met with friends or family and they gave her the cupcake.  She doesnt feel that she owes anyone anything.  ( I have always worked in hospitals, those are not good traits for patient care positions)  i also feel that with the leaks and the upcoming episode titles we will find out that David is accused of contacting another woman, Ashley will say she knew something was wrong with him.  She will tell David that he is not her type/  Hopefully one of the experts will ask how that was going for her. and we will wait to find out what happens next

[Adeejay]

i also feel that with the leaks and the upcoming episode titles we will find out that David is accused of contacting another woman, Ashley will say she knew something was wrong with him.  She will tell David that he is not her type/

 

Given how cold and standoffish Ashley has been to David, I can't believe she had the nerves to complain that he contacted another woman.  Clearly, there is something wrong with this woman. 

[Jack Sampson]

Given how cold and standoffish Ashley has been to David, I can't believe she had the nerves to complain that he contacted another woman.  Clearly, there is something wrong with this woman.

It's a way for her to quit the marriage, excuse her horrid behavior and play a victim so she looks blameless.

And I'll bet it was something completely innocuous. David's not a moron, he's trying because he made a commitment to the process, but he knows this isn't going to work. I can't blame him for seeing if there's anyone else interested.

It's like sending out your resume when you know layoffs are coming at work.

Edited January 18, 2016 by Jack Sampson

[Snarklepuss]

I read a gossip website (idiotic thing to do) saying that David is acting the victim so Ashey could look bad. She is looking bad by herself, she doesn't need any help. Most of the stuff he says are from the video diary. He should be allowed to vent in his video diary and not have to worry about what everyone thinks.

 

I had that thought myself, although maybe he isn't doing it just to make Ashley look bad.  I think David's sticking to the plan so no one can say he didn't fulfill his end of the bargain.  Perhaps someone advised him to do that so as not to look like he's the bad guy to the audience.  I can't blame him, really.  I'm sure he went into this with the best of intentions and is determined that no one is going to make him look like he was motivated by anything less.

[mythoughtis]

Actually, David said "Ashley told me she would be home around 7". When he called to inquire about her running late, he left a message stating that she was late. I also bet that she knew when the film crew would be there, and they were obviously there about the time Ashley was expected home. Finals do not 'run late'. They occur from x time to y time, so that you don't end up with two scheduled at the same time.

[girlplease]

Eh, even if she thought she would be home around 7, it didn't seem like she knew there was a special dinner planned - I don't think it's entirely fair to blame her for being late for something she didn't know was happening. (And I think it's yet another instance of David being controlling, but that's a tangent for another time.)

 

I'm leaning more and more toward what Vinyasa said above - this show is scripted. I wish they would find more interesting scripts for Tres and Vanessa.

 

I'm also wondering - why didn't they match Ashley and Neil?

Edited January 18, 2016 by girlplease

[still hoping]

I often make the same comment - cause it is true...the first "virgin" season of any reality show is often the best. 

 

 

As time goes on the participants are much more aware of camera...aware of social media. Seeing Sean's hospital co-worker posting about him is the kind of thing might make some cast members try to preserve their reputation

 

IMHO fame seekers Jamie and Moley Doug are together for the $/

Jason and Courtney are about as "good as it's gonna get". My personal take on them has been both were somewhat isolated...her family is never seen...

maybe estranged? His sad situation prevented any interaction - she only met his mom on her deathbed. Neither is/was so established or connected that the show could hurt their careers as long as they act reasonable - which IMHO they do - much to their credit

 

Of course the producers want to screw it up for drama - ie, find his dad etc LOL

 

You now have contestants on Survivor and TAR who study and memorize past shows and playersI think the participants here did a lot of "research"

[henrysmom]

 

Finals do not 'run late'. They occur from x time to y time, so that you don't end up with two scheduled at the same time.

 

Although I really don't care to defend Ashley, this isn't entirely true when it comes to nursing schools.  A lot of nursing schools use a test called HESI.  It is modeled on the NCLEX test, the test every RN has to take before they are able to practice as a registered nurse.  Colleges use HESI to make sure their students are comfortable with the NCLEX.

 

How the NCLEX works is that you answer questions until the test decides you have either passed or failed.  If you answer 75 questions and the test shuts off automatically you either did really well or really badly.  If the test keeps going, you have another 175 questions (250 total) until the test shuts off.  At any time the test will decide you've either passed or failed and can shut off.  

 

The important thing is the number of questions answered, not the time involved.  The NCLEX is limited to (I think) six hours.  I think the HESI isn't quite that generous with time, but at my nursing school we usually blocked out 4 hour time periods in the computer lab.  And there were some students who did use the full four hours to take the test.

 

So Ashley could have gone into the test totally confident that she would go through 75 questions in an hour and be out of there.  Only to have the test stay on, and on, and on until she worked through 250 questions.  It can be hard to predict, which is why the NCLEX is such a hard test to pass, and why a lot of nursing students use the HESI to prepare their students.

[seasick]

Eh, even if she thought she would be home around 7, it didn't seem like she knew there was a special dinner planned - I don't think it's entirely fair to blame her for being late for something she didn't know was happening. (And I think it's yet another instance of David being controlling, but that's a tangent for another time.)

 

I'm leaning more and more toward what Vinyasa said above - this show is scripted. I wish they would find more interesting scripts for Tres and Vanessa.

 

I'm also wondering - why didn't they match Ashley and Neil?

Dinner or no dinner, I believe she knew she was expected around 7, and told them she would be home by about 7.  I don't think they dispatch a film crew without making arrangements with the players as to what time they will be there.  .  The no text or call is an indication to me that she purposely blew them off.  (I do think the idea of David making dinner in the episode was 'scripted' as are most of their activities.--I expect that)  

 

I thought Ashley's comment about David not having her back in the fishbowl exercise was telling..   I think David HAS had her back, HAS covered her ass, HAS taken up her slack, and HAS be gracious in working with Ashley's 'shyness'.and lack of participation..  and Ashley's now come to expect that.     But there comes a point where it becomes totally unfair when she participates in body only.and puts it all on David.    .I think even David is getting fed up with it.

 

The problem the show has is trying to stick to the agenda.that there will be 'suspense' about the outcome until the very end.  That forces them to cut, paste edit and push in ridiculous ways in order to stick with that format.   They had a gift in S1 when there was obviously one Yes, one NO and one Maybe.   But this agenda ruined S2 by covering up what was really going on and I believe they baited the men to say yes by insinuating a follow-up season.   They need to let go of this "End Game" idea and allow the relationships to be seen as they really are..  Trying to make it appear that Ashley is still 'in' is futile and insulting to the viewers.  .    .  

Edited January 18, 2016 by seasick

[ketose]

Although I really don't care to defend Ashley, this isn't entirely true when it comes to nursing schools.  A lot of nursing schools use a test called HESI.  It is modeled on the NCLEX test, the test every RN has to take before they are able to practice as a registered nurse.  Colleges use HESI to make sure their students are comfortable with the NCLEX.

 

How the NCLEX works is that you answer questions until the test decides you have either passed or failed.  If you answer 75 questions and the test shuts off automatically you either did really well or really badly.  If the test keeps going, you have another 175 questions (250 total) until the test shuts off.  At any time the test will decide you've either passed or failed and can shut off.  

 

The important thing is the number of questions answered, not the time involved.  The NCLEX is limited to (I think) six hours.  I think the HESI isn't quite that generous with time, but at my nursing school we usually blocked out 4 hour time periods in the computer lab.  And there were some students who did use the full four hours to take the test.

 

So Ashley could have gone into the test totally confident that she would go through 75 questions in an hour and be out of there.  Only to have the test stay on, and on, and on until she worked through 250 questions.  It can be hard to predict, which is why the NCLEX is such a hard test to pass, and why a lot of nursing students use the HESI to prepare their students.

I believe that's what she did. There was a short scene where David was asking Ashley how the test works and she talked about the test deciding what to ask based on your last answer.

[Neurochick]

The thing with Ashley and the dinner is that at some point she could have either called or texted David and she did neither.  It doesn't matter if she didn't know he was preparing a dinner for her; what she did was rude.  Also she walked into the home and greeted the dog but not her husband?  Ashley, David is PAYING for that house of yours, the least you could do is greet the man.  

[mythoughtis]

Thanks, Henry's Mom. I had heard of those expanding tests, but didn't realize this would be one.

I still think she could have called as soon as she got done. She has said it takes longer to commute from this new house, and we all know people her age check their phone every 5 minutes. A call or text to David (or even a producer) as soon as she got his message (before she started driving) would have been polite. I think she deliberately did neither, hoping the film crew would leave (they won't).

Since I missed the matching episode, I can't figure out why Ashley would have signed up for this. I know I wouldn't have, and I (although an introvert), am not near as much of a prude as Ashley is. How could she not have known there would be embarrassing questions, and situations. Did she think she was participating in a Jane Goodall documentary?

[henrysmom]

 

I can't figure out why Ashley would have signed up for this. I know I wouldn't have, and I (although an introvert), am not near as much of a prude as Ashley is. How could she not have known there would be embarrassing questions, and situations. Did she think she was participating in a Jane Goodall documentary?

 

I can't figure it out either.  Some people say she is in it for the money, but the producers have been quoted several times as saying the payment is "nothing" or "a token stipend" so I don't think that could be it.  The best I can come up with is that the guy she had a long term relationship with either got engaged or married somebody else, and agreeing to this show was a knee jerk reaction that she really, really regrets now.

[kam]

I can't figure it out either. Some people say she is in it for the money, but the producers have been quoted several times as saying the payment is "nothing" or "a token stipend" so I don't think that could be it. The best I can come up with is that the guy she had a long term relationship with either got engaged or married somebody else, and agreeing to this show was a knee jerk reaction that she really, really regrets now.

I'm pretty sure these people don't get paid a lot, I'm not sure why anyone would think that. I don't think Ashley did the show for money, she seemed pretty optimistic about the process until she met David.

Also I'm not sure how much I believe that she was in 9 year relationship with someone and they never lived together, that just doesn't make sense to me.

[BunnySlippers]

Dinner or no dinner, I believe she knew she was expected around 7, and told them she would be home by about 7.  I don't think they dispatch a film crew without making arrangements with the players as to what time they will be there.  .  The no text or call is an indication to me that she purposely blew them off.  (I do think the idea of David making dinner in the episode was 'scripted' as are most of their activities.--I expect that)  

 

I thought Ashley's comment about David not having her back in the fishbowl exercise was telling..   I think David HAS had her back, HAS covered her ass, HAS taken up her slack, and HAS be gracious in working with Ashley's 'shyness'.and lack of participation..  and Ashley's now come to expect that.     But there comes a point where it becomes totally unfair when she participates in body only.and puts it all on David.    .I think even David is getting fed up with it.

 

 

I agree. Even if she was late because of the test, she could have at least sent a text. But she has absolutely no respect for David, and she doesn't care about him at all.

 

About David not having her back, well, when has she had his back? What has she done for him? That stupid fishbowl thing was something they've done on all the shows. Did Princess Ashley think that she could get out of it? I guess she did, since so far she's managed to get out of everything she didn't want.

 

Like others have mentioned, she must have known that they were expected to do stuff like that. If she's sooo uncomfortable doing all these things, then why did she sign up? I don't know how much money they really get, but I just can't understand why someone as closed off and uptight as she is would have gotten on this show if it didn't come with some kind of benefit. If her sole purpose was to find someone, she could have hired a matchmaker who would have let her meet with the guy before actually getting married. On this show, you just don't know who you're going to end up with, and you have to do all these things on camera. If she's not comfortable with any of this, she really shouldn't have done this.

[Evil Queen]

Eh, even if she thought she would be home around 7, it didn't seem like she knew there was a special dinner planned - I don't think it's entirely fair to blame her for being late for something she didn't know was happening. (And I think it's yet another instance of David being controlling, but that's a tangent for another time.)

 

I'm leaning more and more toward what Vinyasa said above - this show is scripted. I wish they would find more interesting scripts for Tres and Vanessa.

 

I'm also wondering - why didn't they match Ashley and Neil?

 

I don't think making someone a surprise meal is controlling at all. He did it for her because of her finishing up her finals and you don't tell someone you are making a surprise dinner since there goes the surprise part of things. Scripted or not though she was rude. I have a feeling she normally comes home at that time which was why he did it and the camera crew was there. As others said she though maybe coming late that they would have given up and gone home but that wasn't going to happen. Why would it knowing there was a nice meal for her waiting and she hadn't called. I think the cameras thought they would get something on camera but really all we got was her greeting her dog and not David. Her giving him a cupcake she probably got from someone else that was tossed in her backpack. No sorry for not letting you know I'm late. We see her with keys in hand ready to get out of there or escape to another side of the house he isn't. She can't EVER start a conversation with him or be part of one he starts. She is just cold and rude. I think that if she had been matched with Neil instead she would have had the same reaction. Just because someone is dark in features doesn't mean that person is the one they would be attracted to either.

 

 

Also I'm not sure how much I believe that she was in 9 year relationship with someone and they never lived together, that just doesn't make sense to me.

 

I do wonder about that relationship as well. We have heard nothing about it at all. I agree, that long and never lived together? No marriage? Funny how we haven't heard more then she likes dark features and when with her friend how she liked serious. Which sorry but who wants to be serious all the time?

[henrysmom]

 

Also I'm not sure how much I believe that she was in 9 year relationship with someone and they never lived together, that just doesn't make sense to me.

I can buy it since I live in a very conservative town.  Either people get married at 18 or 19 so they can have sex, or they just drift along in a platonic sort of thing because it gets family/friends off their back until they feel ready to get married, or to have a real relationship. I know more than one couple who met in high school, dated through college and graduate school (at separate schools), then broke up when they gained the freedom that came with earning their own money.  Once the need to make the parents happy so they'll pay for college is gone, the need for the relationship goes away too.  

 

I don't think that really explains Ashley's deal though because it sure as heck doesn't answer why somebody who is as closed off as she is went on this show.  You'd think the minute she found out what it the show entailed she'd turn it down.  Even if they painted a bright picture, you'd think she'd google it and once she found out about the first season she'd realize this was not for her.

[girlplease]

Dinner or no dinner, I believe she knew she was expected around 7, and told them she would be home by about 7.  I don't think they dispatch a film crew without making arrangements with the players as to what time they will be there.  .  The no text or call is an indication to me that she purposely blew them off.  (I do think the idea of David making dinner in the episode was 'scripted' as are most of their activities.--I expect that) .  

 

That's fair. But what's the better footage - a silent dinner with Ashley and David, or David checking his watch, stressing, draining another beer?

 

I can't figure it out either.  Some people say she is in it for the money, but the producers have been quoted several times as saying the payment is "nothing" or "a token stipend" so I don't think that could be it.  The best I can come up with is that the guy she had a long term relationship with either got engaged or married somebody else, and agreeing to this show was a knee jerk reaction that she really, really regrets now.

 

That's my thought as well. Hoo boy, is she in over her head. And having someone pay your bills for six weeks isn't nearly worth the stress of being filmed and having to deal with that person day-to-day - even if it is just for scheduled shoots. 

 

I don't think making someone a surprise meal is controlling at all. He did it for her because of her finishing up her finals and you don't tell someone you are making a surprise dinner since there goes the surprise part of things. Scripted or not though she was rude. I have a feeling she normally comes home at that time which was why he did it and the camera crew was there. As others said she though maybe coming late that they would have given up and gone home but that wasn't going to happen. Why would it knowing there was a nice meal for her waiting and she hadn't called. I think the cameras thought they would get something on camera but really all we got was her greeting her dog and not David. Her giving him a cupcake she probably got from someone else that was tossed in her backpack. No sorry for not letting you know I'm late. We see her with keys in hand ready to get out of there or escape to another side of the house he isn't. She can't EVER start a conversation with him or be part of one he starts. She is just cold and rude. I think that if she had been matched with Neil instead she would have had the same reaction. Just because someone is dark in features doesn't mean that person is the one they would be attracted to either.

 

Making the meal isn't controlling - expecting the person to read your mind and then getting salty when they don't is what red flagged it for me. I can't imagine coming home after a long day of finals and someone guilting me for being late because they had something planned I didn't even know about. There's a lesson for David in there too - if he really wants to be married to a nurse, irregular schedules are something he's going to have to learn to deal with.

 

And goodness, no, I don't think she should have been matched with Neil for his looks. (I don't think they would have met with her approval either.) But he seems to have a much calmer manner and she might have actually opened up a bit with someone less pushy.

 

Like most of you, I can't quite figure out why Ashley went on this show! But I'm not mad at her for not acting in the ways we would hope or expect. It's making this dumpster fire of a season slightly less boring. :)

[ClareWalks]

David could have at least had the sense to make a dinner that reheats well. He could have used all those ingredients, made a baked pasta dish, and it wouldn't have mattered when she got home. 

 

I laughed at Ashley's "fawn over the dog so I don't have to talk to anyone else in the room" strategy. It is employed to similar effect by my bitchy, mentally unstable sister-in-law, who we see once a year at Christmas. She walks in the door, doesn't say hi to anyone, and fawns over the dog to a ridiculous extent. 

[zxy556575]

Like most of you, I can't quite figure out why Ashley went on this show! But I'm not mad at her for not acting in the ways we would hope or expect.

 

I'm mad at her for not acting in the way that common human decency and politeness would expect.

[Drogo]

David could have at least had the sense to make a dinner that reheats well. He could have used all those ingredients, made a baked pasta dish, and it wouldn't have mattered when she got home.

 

I truly believe that Ashley went out to dinner with her classmates post-final, so it wouldn't have mattered what he cooked.

 

David should have just ordered a pizza and bought her a nice piece of jewelry.  Or he could have made dinner, but then David should have left the house and have Groomsman #1, #2 or #3 join Ashley for the meal since they're more 'her type.'

 

 

 I think Ashley would have preferred any of the above options to coming home and eating with/talking to her Stranger Danger husband, who she's not physically attracted to. 

[ketose]

The premise of the experiment (which is totally ignored by the show anyway) is that if a person is matched up for a significant period of time with someone they wouldn't normally pick, would they be able to find love anyway? Given that premise, Ashley would likely marry someone she would not want to date. Obviously, dating is not working for her. It's the same with David. He really wants a wife and he's not finding wife material. His standards are apparently lower, because Ashley is good enough for him, despite her problems. If Ashley's problem is only physical attraction, then she's at fault for not at least attempting physical intimacy (hand holding).

[Lion18]

Plain and simple Ashley saw David and was not attracted to him. She is not mature enough to handle this as an adult. She's acting like a spoiled brat who didn't get what she wanted. So she's pouting, not talking and avoiding him. If she was mature she could just hang out and make the best out of the six weeks.

[Jack Sampson]

Are the guys actually attracted to the women or are they just being nicer?

I've been trying to imagine how I'd react if I was matched with Sam or Ashley (or Jessica, Davina, Jaclyn or Monet). I would be disappointed in looks for sure, but would I freeze them out and ghost them after the show? I'd like to think I wouldn't.

[sleekandchic]

Dinner or no dinner, I believe she knew she was expected around 7, and told them she would be home by about 7. I don't think they dispatch a film crew without making arrangements with the players as to what time they will be there. . The no text or call is an indication to me that she purposely blew them off. (I do think the idea of David making dinner in the episode was 'scripted' as are most of their activities.--I expect that)

I totally agree with your points above, and I'll go even beyond what you're saying.

My guess is Ashley and David were told the date and timeblock for the next filming at the house. Ashley said no, that's the day of my final. They said/ sorry, but that's our production schedule. Here's what though, we'll get Dave to make a congratulatory dinner for you, and we'll film him in action while we wait for you to get home. Then a little filming of the two of you eating and discussing your day, and we're outta your hair until next week./

Ashley said ok, but then had regrets. My integrity! My stoicism! They're trying to trick me into a "romantic" dinner! Probably with candles! Maybe with holding, sob, h-a-n-d-s!!! Nope. Ain't gonna happen.

I think Ashley is used to getting her way, and expects to get her way. If she doesn't get her way, she'll MAKE it her way. I also think she's cursed with being perpetually disappointed...in people, boyfriends, careers, coworkers. It will be interesting to see if she takes her RN and makes an actual dedicated career of it. To me, she's got the aura of "professional student," but I'm not completely sure of that.

She's hating the filming with Dave, and probably feels all of it is calculated to make her look bad and feel worse. Ferris wheels! Fish bowls! Fooey!

The only filming she's willing to do is with one of the loser experts. I'm gonna guess filming with them feels safe to her, like she won't be forced into anything "bad." Whereas, when it's just a crew with an AD, hungry camera operators and production runners, she doesn't trust that they will protect her or understand her recalcitrance. She probably feels she's being "bullied" when she's expected to abide by her contractual obligations. And David has "proved" (to her narcissistic self) that he doesn't "have her back," so she can't depend on that Loser.

But she can handle the experts, she thinks. They are like her...cerebral and smart and evolved! Not like the ape that is David and the (shudder) crew! Plus the experts are so predictable, so easy to manipulate.

Dr Joey: Communicate!

Sexy Lefvky: Consummate!

Peppy: Caress!

GregEspy: Contemplate!

P.S. Bella and Dave are simpatico! The dog loves the man, and Dave is kind to her.

Edited January 19, 2016 by sleekandchic

[DangerousMinds]

I think this kind of speculation is fun, but wildly afield from what we actually know - that Ashley is freshly out of a nine-year relationship. She's more likely looking back at it with rose-colored glasses, and David just doesn't measure up to the comfort and familiarity of her previous relationship. And as for the theory that she must be a lesbian if she's not into David....well, call me Ellen if that's the case.

 

I understand David's frustration in part, because Ashley is just soooo not into him. (In which case, I think she's right to stay cold and not give him any ideas - as someone mentioned above, he'd just run with them.) If this is any indication of how he acted in previous relationships that weren't moving quickly enough for him, I can understand why he says in the credits voiceover that he's not good at "the dating thing". He assumes a lot simply based on the fact that they are technically together.

 

Note that he never said "Ashley and I agreed we'd have dinner at 7" or "Ashley is always home at 7 on Tuesdays and said she would be home at 7 tonight". He thought she'd be home then - despite the fact that she had a final - got all worked up making a fancy dinner and then getting to play the neglected husband when I bet she wasn't even aware of his elaborate plans. Was she supposed to text him back during her final?

They are MARRIED.

[Jack Sampson]

They are MARRIED.

That's good point and Ashley holds him to such a double standard.

It's okay for her to be frigid and not spend time with him because he's a stranger and it's not a normal marriage. But, if he wants to talk or answer the fishbowl questions or gets fed up and contacts another woman, then he's not committed and doesn't have her back. That gives her all the excuse she needs to rationalize her behavior - she KNEW he was off and he proved it by not tolerating her nonsense forever.

In these situations, you're better off popping the chute and not looking back.

[egnever]

Making the meal isn't controlling - expecting the person to read your mind and then getting salty when they don't is what red flagged it for me. I can't imagine coming home after a long day of finals and someone guilting me for being late because they had something planned I didn't even know about. There's a lesson for David in there too - if he really wants to be married to a nurse, irregular schedules are something he's going to have to learn to deal with.

 

I really don't see how that's an example of being controlling. I don't think he was 'salty' because she didn't come on time for dinner. I think he was annoyed because she didn't give any warning whatsoever, nor did she respond to any of the texts he sent her. There's a level of basic decency and respect that you should have for another person's time. Her thinking it's apparently okay for her to just blow him off altogether, and that it doesn't matter if he's left there twiddling his thumbs and wasting his evening, is a simply a dick move.

 

There's a bare minimum of social etiquette and respect for others that should be expected of everyone. If an acquaintance texted me asking me where I was or if I would be able to make it to a time I personally told them I might be able to make, I would reply to them. That's because I think their time has value and I wouldn't want them to wait on me if I can't make it. If it was my husband, who BTW is paying for my bills, I would make it a priority to respond ASAP. The fact that Ashley didn't say anything at all the entire time speaks volumes. Either she doesn't care enough that he completely slipped her mind (and didn't check her phone the entire time), or she doesn't have even basic respect for him as an individual.

 

So yes, the incident raised some red flags. David should run far, far away as fast as he possibly can.

[qtpye]

Are the guys actually attracted to the women or are they just being nicer?

I've been trying to imagine how I'd react if I was matched with Sam or Ashley (or Jessica, Davina, Jaclyn or Monet). I would be disappointed in looks for sure, but would I freeze them out and ghost them after the show? I'd like to think I wouldn't.

 

 

So far all the guys have said their wives are "beautiful" upon meeting them at the altar.  However, who knows if they are telling the truth?  Last year, Ryan Basement thought Jacklyn was beautiful, but that did not want to make him stay with her for the long run.

 

Neil still insists that Sam is "beautiful" even after witnessing her caveman behavior.

 

I am curious, so the only two who would not disappoint you would be Jaimie and Courtney in the looks department?  I thought Davina was one of the most beautiful women on the show (cheek fuzz aside), but I would not want to be married to her (though she deserved better then weird fake Sean).

[jamblastx]

I've been thinking about the 'initial' attraction when meeting someone new and how that changes over time. either positively or negatively.  As we all know for example, Ashley and Jamie (1st season) were repulsed by their husbands but while Jamie eventually saw Doug in a different light (albeit one that guarantees her more and more television exposure), Ashley has remained steadfast in her initial reaction even though to her own admission, David is doing most everything correctly.

 

While we aren't interacting with these people, I am wondering whom on the show you were initially attracted (or not) to and would that have changed over the six weeks.  Since I am a straight male, this is what I would say:

 

(I am writing my initial attraction/after six weeks)

 

Season 1:

 

Jamie;  Very much so!/ Run for the hills!

Courtney:  Kinda attracted to/ Kinda not attracted to

Monet;  Nope/Probably still not

 

Season 2

 

Davina: Kinda attracted to/ Run further into the hills!

Jaclyn: Kinda attracted to/ definitely attracted to

The other one (I don't feel like looking up her name)  Nope/ Hell no

 

Season 3

 

Ashley:  Meh/ God no...hell no....run very VERY far away

Vanessa: Yes/a little less so

Sam:  You're kidding right?/  Seriously, this is a joke...right?

[qtpye]

It's funny.  I too thought Jaime was just gorgeous when I first saw her in her wedding gown.  I was like "what a pretty girl!" when she was walking down the aisle.  However, I watch the Married at First Sight:First Year show (please do not judge me) and now I sort of find her kind of repulsive.

 

I hate the way she dresses, her overly made up face with the fake lashes, and the way she squishes her mouth with her phony smiles.

 

I guess it is proof that first impressions can definitely change with time.

[Drogo]

I agree 100% that Jaclyn is the only female participant who got more attractive the more we found out about her. 

 

This season's women, notsomuch. 

[henrysmom]

I think the biggest problem with this show's participants is that you'd have to either be really desperate or really crazy to think this is actually a viable way to get married.  Or at least to get married to somebody who isn't desperate or crazy.

Edited January 19, 2016 by henrysmom

[Evil Queen]

I really don't see how that's an example of being controlling. I don't think he was 'salty' because she didn't come on time for dinner. I think he was annoyed because she didn't give any warning whatsoever, nor did she respond to any of the texts he sent her. There's a level of basic decency and respect that you should have for another person's time. Her thinking it's apparently okay for her to just blow him off altogether, and that it doesn't matter if he's left there twiddling his thumbs and wasting his evening, is a simply a dick move.

 

There's a bare minimum of social etiquette and respect for others that should be expected of everyone. If an acquaintance texted me asking me where I was or if I would be able to make it to a time I personally told them I might be able to make, I would reply to them. That's because I think their time has value and I wouldn't want them to wait on me if I can't make it. If it was my husband, who BTW is paying for my bills, I would make it a priority to respond ASAP. The fact that Ashley didn't say anything at all the entire time speaks volumes. Either she doesn't care enough that he completely slipped her mind (and didn't check her phone the entire time), or she doesn't have even basic respect for him as an individual.

 

So yes, the incident raised some red flags. David should run far, far away as fast as he possibly can.

 

Agree!!!! I still don't see the dinner as controlling at all myself. I would be upset if the person I did that for wasn't home when they should be. If my husband didn't answer his texts from me about why he is late I'd be upset. Especially if I was doing something nice for me and I knew he was suppose to have been home already. When you know someone is home at a certain time and then they aren't for however long late without a word you would start to wonder what is up. No answer from them at all and you may think didn't something happen to them? In this case not knowing each other well, what is she really doing? It isn't to hard to make a quick text to say sorry for being late and will be there as soon as I can. Obviously for Ashley it is but it shouldn't have been. I don't see how one couldn't be upset over the person not coming home or letting them know about being extra late. I think he handled it better then most would have really. Now if it was the woman that had made the dinner and this happened in the same way, would it have still been controlling to some? I will bet she checked her phone enough to see his text/calls. For me Ashley has come off as not a nice person at all for someone that has married a man that offered to help her with bills during this time. Did she never learn basic social skills and manners? At this point I would never want her as a nurse. If I saw her come in I'd ask for another one right away after seeing all this. David really needs to just run far and find someone else that is more like him. 

[Neurochick]

I don't think David was controlling when he made dinner; I don't think he got salty with Ashley because he called her and texted her and she didn't respond.  That's just fucking rude.  It doesn't take an IQ of 125 to use a smart phone.  She could have called when she got out of her exam, see, easy peasy.

 

 

There's a bare minimum of social etiquette and respect for others that should be expected of everyone. If an acquaintance texted me asking me where I was or if I would be able to make it to a time I personally told them I might be able to make, I would reply to them. That's because I think their time has value and I wouldn't want them to wait on me if I can't make it. If it was my husband, who BTW is paying for my bills, I would make it a priority to respond ASAP. The fact that Ashley didn't say anything at all the entire time speaks volumes. Either she doesn't care enough that he completely slipped her mind (and didn't check her phone the entire time), or she doesn't have even basic respect for him as an individual.

 

 

Social etiquette is something Ashley doesn't know about.  She's too immature; she's acting like a five year old who didn't get the Christmas present they had their heart set on, but got something else just as awesome.  This woman needs to grow up.

[Kareem]

I've been thinking about the 'initial' attraction when meeting someone new and how that changes over time. either positively or negatively. As we all know for example, Ashley and Jamie (1st season) were repulsed by their husbands but while Jamie eventually saw Doug in a different light (albeit one that guarantees her more and more television exposure), Ashley has remained steadfast in her initial reaction even though to her own admission, David is doing most everything correctly.

While we aren't interacting with these people, I am wondering whom on the show you were initially attracted (or not) to and would that have changed over the six weeks. Since I am a straight male, this is what I would say:

(I am writing my initial attraction/after six weeks)

Season 1:

Jamie; Very much so!/ Run for the hills!

Courtney: Kinda attracted to/ Kinda not attracted to

Monet; Nope/Probably still not

Season 2

Davina: Kinda attracted to/ Run further into the hills!

Jaclyn: Kinda attracted to/ definitely attracted to

The other one (I don't feel like looking up her name) Nope/ Hell no

Season 3

Ashley: Meh/ God no...hell no....run very VERY far away

Vanessa: Yes/a little less so

Sam: You're kidding right?/ Seriously, this is a joke...right?

I can understand and agree with every word of this. Think that makes you two for two.

Wonder what ever became of Jaclyn.

[BunnySlippers]

Wonder what ever became of Jaclyn.

 

 Me, too. I liked her.

[okerry]

I'm pretty sure these people don't get paid a lot, I'm not sure why anyone would think that. I don't think Ashley did the show for money, she seemed pretty optimistic about the process until she met David.

Also I'm not sure how much I believe that she was in 9 year relationship with someone and they never lived together, that just doesn't make sense to me.

She did seem ok until the actual wedding. Her cold reaction could be a combination of shock ("what have I done?"), not liking David anyway, Mr. Nine-Year finally calling and asking her not to do it, and serious stage fright. Cameras in a studio, while being interviewed by a friendly professional, are far different from being followed by them while you live with some guy you don't eve know.

 

If Mr. Nine-Year was married or otherwise stringing Ashley along, they would not have lived together. Stranger things have happened. Jamie's "MyEx" was either married or In A Relationship, and she is/was completely hung up on him. That seems to have been verified by some other board postings and was not just made up for the show.

 

It's been speculated that Ashley agreed to the show in an effort to make Mr. Nine-Year jealous, and it may have worked better than she thought and he called at the last minute but it was too late to call off the show without serious breach of contract. So, she's behaving the way one might expect in that situation. JMHO.

[DangerousMinds]

Nurses do very often have set schedules; they have lives and kids and need to make plans. I'm with the poster above - since childhood, when people are late and I don't hear from them, I start to worry about whether they're ok (car accident, etc). It is just common courtesy to let your HUSBAND or wife know you will be hours late.

[Jack Sampson]

So far all the guys have said their wives are "beautiful" upon meeting them at the altar.  However, who knows if they are telling the truth?  Last year, Ryan Basement thought Jacklyn was beautiful, but that did not want to make him stay with her for the long run.

 

Neil still insists that Sam is "beautiful" even after witnessing her caveman behavior.

 

I am curious, so the only two who would not disappoint you would be Jaimie and Courtney in the looks department?  I thought Davina was one of the most beautiful women on the show (cheek fuzz aside), but I would not want to be married to her (though she deserved better then weird fake Sean).

Jamie was objectively pretty, everything else about her was a huge turn off.

Cortney was pretty-ish especially since she slimmed WAY down for the wedding. I liked her attitude, she seemed like she was sincere. She's the only one who didn't make a big deal out of doing something nice for her husband.

Davina was chesty and was probably pretty at my age, but, at 34, those looks had faded. Realistically, I might have found her attractive in her wedding dress (with professional hair and makeup) but any attraction would have been lost after the first conversation. There's just something about her look that turns me off.

[Waterlilly]

Both Davina and Jaclyn post on Facebook. They seem very happy and busy. All three ladies remain good friends.

[ketose]

I think the girls are cleaned up reasonably well for the weddings. At least the guys have that first impression that was positive. Vanessa is still keeping up her appearance, Ashley is relying on the assumption that she doesn't need to make herself up and Sam is constantly bedraggled.

 

Jamie is attractive, but she crossed over into creepy doll with all the things she does with makeup. I think Cortney is probably better looking IRL than on TV. I don't remember enough of Season 2 to give a good opinion.

[Lola16]

 

. David is not unattractive at all, and - unless that outburst on Father's Day was an indication of a temper problem - he seems to have a good personality.

 

Attractiveness is subjective. I think Vanessa is beautiful, Ashley is attractive, and Sam is average.  Of the men, Tres has moments where he is attractive but then other times, he looks pudgy. David is pudgy, doesn't have good teeth, and I'm not into the beard thing.  Neil, just no.  But then there are posters on here calling out Ashley and Sam for being fat (no way are either fat) and going on about the men as if they are sainted six pack ab gods, which um, no.

 

David's outburst to me was a huge insight as to what it's like to be around him.  Not good.  He's great at letting everyone know how sensitive and what a good guy he is and how patient he is etc.  Talks a lot about it.  The outburst?  Yea, manipulation.  The scared act on the ferris wheel?  Manipulation. 

 

The poster who wrote that Ashley is the type of woman who would cause David to snap and kill her?  Okkkkkkkkk.   Not funny.   Women don't cause men to hit or kill them.  Men who do that, the fault and flaw is all them. 

 

Are we to believe that the show isn't paying for the temp housing?  Of course they are.  The participants aren't expected to pay their own rent/mortgages and then a new place on top of that.  Plus it's short term rentals. 

 

I can't see calling the women out for being such losers for signing up for this show unless the men are losers too.  No wonder Ashley and Sam are still single?  How are princes like David and Neil still single then?  Double standard.  

[ClareWalks]

But then there are posters on here calling out Ashley and Sam for being fat (no way are either fat) and going on about the men as if they are sainted six pack ab gods, which um, no.

 

 

To be fair, I think the main criticism is that they wear extremely unflattering clothes.

[realitytree]

Davina was chesty and was probably pretty at my age, but, at 34, those looks had faded. Realistically, I might have found her attractive in her wedding dress (with professional hair and makeup) but any attraction would have been lost after the first conversation. There's just something about her look that turns me off.

 

Davina's looks had faded at 34???? i suppose Seans were only getting better with age.

Edited January 21, 2016 by Drogo
Quote formatting issues.

[stuckin60s]

Appearance and looks are not always the same

 

V&T - they are attractive young people.  She has natural beauty but for the talking heads and filming has not spent too much time on her appearance.  The ball on top of her head, clothing etc.  T is an attractive man,

 

S&N - neither one is a 10.  Neil works on his grooming and body.  S just looks awful for the camera.  She is disheveld, sloppy, horrible choice of clothing, no grooming etc.  In the beginning we saw where she said she worked out regularly, but her arms dont look like she really did

 

A&D - A is attractive but her facial expressions and looks of contempt ruin it.  D is attractive and his expressions make him even more attractive.

 

Looks often start the conversation but without substance the conversation doesn't last long

[Waterlilly]

Watching rerun of this epi now. Hmmm, when Ashley says she is stuck and David says he is frustrated that pretty much says it all for them. Ashley's behavior with the fish bowl questions was childish ridiculousness. I thought that rewatching it i would pick up on David's overly nice but not gentlemanly passive aggressive jerk self, but no just a confused man who doesn't have any hope of anything. Ashley, just crickets...

Sam will say and respond to the experts with what she thinks they want to hear.

I am in love with Vanessa's dog! It is happy to see everyone and just joins right in. So cute.

[jmonkey]

Davina's looks had faded at 34???? i suppose Seans were only getting better with age.

I thought Season 2 had the best looking women. I think Davina with her ample bosom has been the hottest woman on this show. I still don't understand why Sean didn't consummate the shit of that since she was willing. Christian Gray, my ass! Jessica and Jaclyn were attractive too, but Jaclyn was the most attractive by the end of the season due to her awesome personality. She just seemed like a good person and a lot of fun to be around while Davina and Jessica seemed kinda petty. 

 

The women on Season 1 were also attractive, but Jamie was batshit crazy. I felt bad for Doug Mole.This season the women definitely aren't as hot as seasons 1 or 2. Vanessa is attractive but boring. When her and Tres are on, I tend to tune them out. Sam is frumpy and controlling. Neil is a male doormat. He should be running for the hills, but all Neil seems to need in a mate is someone willing to put up with him and he will make the best of it. Ashley is such a wet noodle that her nonexistent personality makes her uglier than she is. I agree that the fish bowl game is lame, but if you can't do the exercises these "doctors" assign you, then you probably shouldn't be on the show. I have to commend Jaclyn and Jamie for at least giving their partner a chance even if they didn't find them physically attractive initially. Ashley hasn't even given David a chance.

 

I seriously have to question the selection process for the couples to be married on this show. It seems like the reasoning for pairing couples is quite sophomoric that wouldn't require someone with a doctorate. Dr. Creepy suggests that it's a rigorous application process, but it seems to usually come down to things like Vanessa and Tres being matched because they were abandoned as children or Sam and Neil and Ashley and David being a yin to the other's yang. There's got to be better matches among the pool of potential contestants than the ones selected to be on this show. There's certainly better reasons for matching people than the fact that they're both damaged or opposites attract. I realize that who would be good for TV is a major consideration, but that's just not working out this season. And this social experiment has been an epic fail so far, yet so ridiculous that it's still fun to watch as trainwreck TV.

Edited January 23, 2016 by jmonkey