S03.E02: The Weddings

[SaucyMommy]

   As for the so called experts, I don't pay much attention to what they ever say at this point during things. They are such a joke with it all and have no clue obviously. I think a bunch of us strangers getting together could put matches together without all the "methods" they use and do way better.

 

LOL every time they were on the screen I tuned them the F out!

[Neurochick]

I like Tres but he freaks me out because he looks very much like many of my family members, same type of expression.  One of my friends said he looked like he could be my son and that totally freaked me out.

 

I did not see it coming that I would feel sorry for David.  What's the matter with Ashley?  He's not a bad looking guy, but you'd think he was some kind of hideous troll the way she's acting.  I predicted that she would realize that marrying a stranger wasn't for her, but not to like his appearance on such a superficial basis I'm finding strange.  So far he hasn't acted like an asshole or anything either, so she can't blame that.  A woman who can only date guys with dark hair is unrealistic to marry a stranger.  That's a little rigid if you ask me.  Geesh, it's not like he's even a blonde or anything.  I never had such a rigid type I'd date or else be unhappy.  And she's still way too uptight.  Why did she sign up for this?  She obviously doesn't know herself all that well.  He seems much less rigid than she is.  I hate that the "experts" say garbage like "he can bring her out of her shell" or whatever.  What BS, it's only going to make her more uncomfortable.

 

 

I'm all for having a "type" but the thing is; you've had issues with that "type" Ashley, so why not try something different?  David's not bad looking, at least he's tall.  

Edited December 9, 2015 by Neurochick

[ctbabe]

http://www.aetv.com/shows/married-at-first-sight/season-3/episode-3/preview-wedding-night

[jb0495]

They kept showing David and Sam's clips together during the matchmaking episode. Does anyone remember the experts reasoning for not pairing them together?

I think Sam/Neil could work if they tone down the quirkiness, but Sam/David seem like they would have made a good match also.

[Tara Ariano]

In case you missed it, here's the Previously.TV post on the episode!

 

'I'm Not Attracted To Him, But I Know We Were Matched For A Reason,' And Other Optimistic Thoughts From The Married At First Sight Guinea Pigs
As the Married At First Sight couples make it official, their problems are starting already.

[numbnut]

Sam totally needed to chill on how she was acting. I think its one thing to be goofy but she was beyond over the top. Then the whole ex thing....why not talk to him about it before getting nuts over it. See what happened and how long they have been friends. Maybe they were friends long before dating as well and decided dating wasn't meant for them and to remain friends. Changing an attitude because of that would be stupid instead of discussing it and seeing what was going on there. He was honest at least. He could have said nothing and she found out later. She seems a bit on the immature side of things.

 

Some people are okay with having exes as friends while others are not; some people think men and women can never be just friends. I think Sam should have had the no-exes-as-friends rule on her dealbreaker list if it's that big of a deal. Her stance on topics seem a bit iffy. She mentioned that since she's of a mixed heritage that she's open to dating someone from a different cultural background, but she suddenly has an issue with Neil's family? WTF?

[Crazy Bird Lady]

Responding to a comment about how Sam reacted to Neil introducing his 'ex' as 'the person who knows him better than anyone', Numbnut said:

 

"Some people are okay with having exes as friends while others are not; some people think men and women can never be just friends. I think Sam should have had the no-exes-as-friends rule on her dealbreaker list if it's that big of a deal."
 

Perhaps so, if there is really a 'dealbreaker' list. Or better yet, maybe the so-called "experts" who put these couples together (and who knew all about Neil's 'best friend' ex) should have included this as one of their questions!! 

 

To me, there is a major difference between 'remaining friends' with exes, and hanging out with one of them on a regular basis as your 'best friend'. (But maybe I'm the only one who feels that way.)

Edited December 9, 2015 by Crazy Bird Lady

[Gigi43]

I haven't seen all of the first episode yet, but saw all of last nights. So Ashley is this years "I'm not attracted to him" girl. I can't figure out if that's a theme the show wants (Jamie and Jaclyn being the ones from the other seasons) or if these girls really DGAF about saying that about someone on TV. The guy is eventually going to see this. There are lots of other ways to put that perhaps there isn't an instant connection. These girls are all judging under pounds of make-up no less. I can't help but think about what if it was the other way around, if a guy kept mentioning he didn't find the woman attractive, he'd be vilified til the end.

 

Neil and Sam both seem so strange that maybe this will end up working in the end, but she's annoying me so far. I like Tres and Vanessa so far, so I'm expecting them to crash.

[Pepper Mostly]

Sam (who I agree is crazy over the top) wanted a manly man who hunts and fishes.  Why did they match her with a bookish nerd who is similar to her on a much lower quirky scale?

 

 

But he's not a bookish nerd--this is what he was looking for in a mate:

"Someone who can keep up with his active lifestyle as he enjoys running marathons, hiking, skydiving and snowboarding." He's outdoorsy and looks like a bit of an adrenaline junkie. He may like to read also, and oh yeah, he's a scientist, but I wouldn't call him bookish. or a nerd, for that matter. :-)

 

He's quirky, but he's not socially inept. He was friendly, warm, and kind in a very awkward situation. He certainly handled himself very well through Sam's, uh, episodes.

Edited December 9, 2015 by Pepper Mostly

[Neurochick]

I wonder what Sam took before the wedding, whatever it was, I'd like some in small doses.

 

I thought Ashley was Irish.(?)

[humbleopinion]

Neil broke the glass.  Mazel tov!

Sam is Panamanian/Jewish.

 

In an earlier post:

I opined that David would be sneaking behind Ashley's back to see the bros only because Ashley will expect him to be home with her every night.

So for David ,no more Wednesday pickup basketball, Friday Poker night, Saturday tailgating with the other frat alumni at their college's game,  Sunday football in the man cave.

I don't think he would cheat with another women in 6 the weeks marriage time frame.

He seems smitten.

Edited December 9, 2015 by humbleopinion

[Vinyasa]

After Ryan's teeth last season, I kept looking at teeth (don't know why!)

 

Anyone notice Sam's two front teeth? It was hard to tell because she wouldn't stay still long enough. Will try to check next week.

[numbnut]

"Some people are okay with having exes as friends while others are not; some people think men and women can never be just friends. I think Sam should have had the no-exes-as-friends rule on her dealbreaker list if it's that big of a deal."

 

Perhaps so, if there is really a 'dealbreaker' list. Or better yet, maybe the so-called "experts" who put these couples together (and who knew all about Neil's 'best friend' ex) should have included this as one of their questions!!

 

I do recall the experts mentioning dealbreakers during the vetting process in previous seasons. I wouldn't instantly blame the experts for a bad match. Some people don't know a dealbreaker until a particular circumstance arises. Monet asked for a take-charge guy but when she got one in Vaughn, she realized that she wanted an equal voice in the partnership. The experts have to trust that the clients know their wants and needs well enough.

Edited December 9, 2015 by numbnut

[MsPH]

I do recall the experts mentioning dealbreakers during the vetting process in previous seasons. I wouldn't instantly blame the experts for a bad match. Some people don't know a dealbreaker until a particular circumstance arises. Monet asked for a take-charge guy but when she got one in Vaughn, she realized that she wanted an equal voice in the partnership. The experts have to trust that the clients know their wants and needs well enough.

 

That's what's confusing to me actually. What is the need for all those CIA personality tests by Dr. C, if they're just going by what the participants say they want? Shouldn't the tests show if there's a serious disconnect between wants and needs?

[humbleopinion]

Did anyone else catch the awkward scene where Sam's mother offered herself up to Neil as a substitute while they were waiting to see if Sam was going to show up and walk down the aisle?

Poor Neil he was stammering and sputtering.

 

Paging Doctor Freud...Doctor Sigmund Freud...

 

Sam's mom was so inappropriate...

No one else saw it?

[numbnut]

That's what's confusing to me actually. What is the need for all those CIA personality tests by Dr. C, if they're just going by what the participants say they want? Shouldn't the tests show if there's a serious disconnect between wants and needs?

 

The experts can narrow down a good match but they're not psychics. They also don't monitor each and every applicant for months and months. If a client misrepresents themselves by lying on the questionnaire (either intentionally to save face or because they're in denial about an issue) it screws up the vetting. The clients need to be brutally honest for the process to work.

Edited December 9, 2015 by numbnut

[molshoop]

 

Sam's mom was so inappropriate...

No one else saw it?

 

        I saw it.  The coconut doesn't fall far from the tree.

[SaucyMommy]

Yeah, Sam's behavior was odd, but the comments of her friends and family were setting off alarm bells. Poor Neil.

 

Like when her brother said "I like Neil. I hope he can handle my sister" YIKES! 

[seacliffsal]

Sam is just exhausting. I think she thinks she is funnier and more adorable than she actually is. I felt like Niel didn't know how to respond and was doing his best to just go along. It was also interesting that Sam just walked in circles for a while before the ceremony. The experts seem to be missing things...

[girlplease]

I'm actually not too mad at Ashley. She seems quiet, and frankly kind of boring. I would never have matched her with bro-y "fun guy" David. I don't think she's necessarily a princess, it's just a poor match and she knows it - their introvert/extrovert personalities are going to be in constant conflict. I can't really fault either of them. I'd have put her with a pretty boy with a serious career. 

 

Vanessa and Tres were too cute. I think they both could stand to grow up just a bit more and really figure out their issues before settling down, but who knows - maybe they will work it out. There's certainly some chemistry between them.

 

Hoo boy, Sam. That was incredibly childish. To Neil's credit, he played it off pretty well, but at points he looked like a drowning man. I don't mind Neil, though I think he tries a little too hard. His resting face is kind of blank stare/flat affect, but he looks kind of charming when he's smiling and cracking a corny joke.

 

Damn this show for roping me in yet again! *shakes fist*

[Jack Sampson]

So far Vanessa is the only one who seems remotely like wife material.

Ashley is dead inside.

Sam is a lunatic.

 

Why do the "experts" insist on pairing normal guys with problem women?  They say that Ashley is reserved (a massive understatement) so they pair her with a guy who will be patient.  Great for her, bad for him.  Sam needs someone who isn't a pushover or she'll run over him - that's another way of saying that she's boorish and selfish and a man will have to fight with her over everything - so they pair her with Neil?  He's the definition of a pushover.

 

What do these women bring to the marriage other than difficult personalities?  Vanessa is the only one to at least talk about what she wants to do for a husband.

[bichonblitz]

Sam is that person you can only stand to be around for 5 minutes. 

 

Ashley needs to get over herself. She's not all that. There's a reason she's having relationship issues. Try smiling once in a while. Jeesh!

 

I found myself fast forwarding through a lot of this. Not a good sign. 

[sleekandchic]

Did anyone else catch the awkward scene where Sam's mother offered herself up to Neil as a substitute while they were waiting to see if Sam was going to show up and walk down the aisle?

Poor Neil he was stammering and sputtering.

Paging Doctor Freud...Doctor Sigmund Freud...

Sam's mom was so inappropriate...

No one else saw it?

Oh yeah, I saw it. But Mother of the Loon made that moment much more than an awkward situation. She prefaced her offer by saying, "my daughter changed her mind so....." Poor Neil! His face! He believed her for a nanosecond.

Neil was impressive in how he managed to roll with one indignity after another at his wedding.

I would like to know who decided on the jumping the broom and breaking the glass ceremonies? Did either one or the other of each couple ask for the ritual? Were both bride and groom consulted, and were both ok with the ritual? Was it a surprise to one or both people? Did production make the choice without consulting the couple at all?

Jumping the broom isn't something that ALL African-American couples automatically want, in my personal wedding experiences.

I don't know what Vanessa and Tres are doing in this mess. She's 26; he's 27. Both are educated, gorgeous and ambitious. Neither required a crazy, blind arranged marriage. Please don't let it be about the 100k each person gets.

I hope it works out for them.

Edited December 10, 2015 by sleekandchic

[deannanikki]

One thing I found interesting was Sam's friend saying that "Sam has been going through a lot." I wonder if that means something more?

[sleekandchic]

One thing I found interesting was Sam's friend saying that "Sam has been going through a lot." I wonder if that means something more?

Oh God. And how did the "experts" miss it?

Now I'm imagining a broom-mounted Sam and her Flying Gliders zooming over Oz, as Sam cackles maniacally. o_O

[CaptainCranky]

I really wonder why I watched this tripe. I think turmoil is written into this show. Think I'll follow some comments on here during the season and only watch the last show.

[ClareWalks]

One thing I found interesting was Sam's friend saying that "Sam has been going through a lot." I wonder if that means something more?

 

I wonder if they were referring to her having recently lost her grandmother. Which is sad, I get it, but your grandma dying when you're 30 years old is kind of "duh." Maybe I'm just a bit cynical, or maybe I was raised to figure out that yeah, your grandparents will die long before you, or maybe my grandparents just all died too long ago, but I thought that would be an odd thing to be really devastated about at age 30.

[deannanikki]

I wonder if they were referring to her having recently lost her grandmother. Which is sad, I get it, but your grandma dying when you're 30 years old is kind of "duh." Maybe I'm just a bit cynical, or maybe I was raised to figure out that yeah, your grandparents will die long before you, or maybe my grandparents just all died too long ago, but I thought that would be an odd thing to be really devastated about at age 30.

I can understand the devastation if said person had a close relationship with their grandparents. However, the friend crying made me think that it was more than just the grandmother dying. 

[ClareWalks]

Yeah, it will be interesting to see if they elaborate on that in the coming weeks. Otherwise why would they have edited the show to include that line?

[humbleopinion]

Thinking the over wrought emotion attributed to Sam's g'ma's passing is just a preview of the emotional roller coaster she bring to Neil's calm and orderly life.

 

Sam is the new RyanD if there appears a clown painting in the Bolus-Roll home.

[Snarklepuss]

I thought Ashley was Irish.(?)

 

Her last name is Doherty so I'm thinking she's at least part Irish.  But I'm feeling like she's part something else - Italian?  Jewish?  Because she reminds me of myself a little.  I didn't get a good look at her mother, that might have helped.  In fact, I don't remember seeing her mother.  I don't even remember if she was there.

 

I don't really have much new to add.  As usual I'm loving the posts in this forum and everyone pretty much sums up exactly what I'm thinking.  At least if I'm going to watch this train wreck I get the satisfaction of knowing that others agree with me about it!  There have to be some perks....

 

That said, Tres and Vanessa are a beautiful couple.  Which means they'll never work out.

 

Plus I actually liked all the wedding gowns and thought they suited the women.

 

On closer inspection the wedding venues seemed solidly middle class and average - Nothing special but not airport Marriott either.  The Wimbish House posts its fees online.  They seem pretty average although when I compared prices with some other Atlanta venues I thought there were plenty of more spectacular places that could be rented for about the same price or less.

 

http://www.thewimbishhouse.com/rates.php

Edited December 10, 2015 by Snarklepuss

[zxy556575]

I thought Neil should have made the effort to introduce himself to the bride's side of the family while he was waiting up at the non-altar. The men who do make a much better first impression. The bridesmaids had to go up to him to say hello. I thought Sam's mom greeting him was sweet, although her joke fell flat because she hadn't told Neil who she was first. Neil's response that she was beautiful was nice as well. She seems very kind-hearted and I appreciated her effort. We'll have to see if her tears when Sam initially told her the news were more than the normal parental worry, but instead because she knows Sam's overall mental health has been precarious.

Edited December 10, 2015 by lordonia

[still hoping]

Doherty - def Irish....very well might be part Italian as very common (Catholic) 

I think if she was 1/2 Jewish they would have brought it up? She is reserved but seemed to open up after hand kiss?

 

Tres and Vanessa - wow - seems to be a good match

Just hope he is really ready - car sales is a demanding job, long hours, work hard and many play hard

The super enthusiastic aunt reminded me of Jessica's Mom last year

 

Sam - just over the top. How does she manage a bank? Neil is growing on me a bit since he shaved that monster beard

But Sam....kind of  goofy revved up to Over The Top Crazty Lady.....yow

she would be so annoying

 

here is Sam as  cat>>>  

[Snarklepuss]

I just read in another thread that Ashley's mom's surname is Harnois, which is French.  That explains the similarity I feel because I'm part French too.

[MsPH]

I thought Neil should have made the effort to introduce himself to the bride's side of the family while he was waiting up at the non-altar. The men who do make a much better first impression. The bridesmaids had to go up to him to say hello. I thought Sam's mom greeting him was sweet, although her joke fell flat because she hadn't told Neil who she was first. Neil's response that she was beautiful was nice as well. She seems very kind-hearted and I appreciated her effort. We'll have to see if her tears when Sam initially told her the news were more than the normal parental worry, but instead because she knows Sam's overall mental health has been precarious.

 

He did introduce himself on the way to the altar. Got his first awkward hug from the mom as well. That's what made them all fall in love with him and then they wouldn't leave him alone.

[Crazy Bird Lady]

I just read in another thread that Ashley's mom's surname is Harnois, which is French.  That explains the similarity I feel because I'm part French too.

Irish and French. That explains why they didn't bother to mention Ashley's ethnicity.

Edited December 10, 2015 by Crazy Bird Lady

[SaucyMommy]

I'm starting to wonder if the producers encourage the brides - who don't find their spouse attractive - to act out and really hit home how unhappy they are. This is 3 seasons in a row where it's happened.

[Neurochick]

David wasn't bad looking, I just get a very "bro" vibe from him.  That alone would turn me off, but hey, some guys are like that and they're just fine as husbands.  

[zxy556575]

I'm not sure these high-strung women need any encouragement to verbalize their feelings!

 

Looking back, none of the men in three seasons have been vocal about not finding their brides attractive. Perhaps Vaughn was the least satisfied, but even he didn't come out and say it. I also think anyone viewing photos would say that, in general, the women selected have been more generically attractive than the men.

Edited December 10, 2015 by lordonia

[moonxyz]

Ashley is not as hot as she thinks. IMO they are on par looks-wise. 

[BunnySlippers]

Did anyone else catch the awkward scene where Sam's mother offered herself up to Neil as a substitute while they were waiting to see if Sam was going to show up and walk down the aisle?

Poor Neil he was stammering and sputtering.

 

Paging Doctor Freud...Doctor Sigmund Freud...

 

Sam's mom was so inappropriate...

No one else saw it?

I saw it, too. I thought it was a bit weird and awkward, but I figured she was just joking and maybe she's the one Sam got her "quirkiness" from. :D

[humbleopinion]

Why do I watch this show?

Because I want to see the producers bring back the trio of asshats that were the "grooms" from last season have the awkward advice dinner with the newest batch of grooms and then snark and snark some more with people here who have invested way too much time on this show like myself.

Misery loves company.

 

Who told Neil he looks good in that bright "Big Bird" yellow colored shirt?

It hurts my eyes to watch his TH when he wears it.

Not as bad as Ryan's teeth, though.

[Momof2boyz]

I remember something the "experts" had said in the Matchmaking special about David and Ashley both having strong Christian values, so definitely not Jewish.  Sam had mentioned her grandparents wanted her to find a nice Jewish guy and then just ANY guy.  I don't find either David or Neil particularly attractive although they are perfectly fine looking, but I am not signing up for a reality show to get married to a complete stranger sight unseen.  The "experts" really should pay attention (or ask about if they didn't) what physical type the applicants find attractive, because like it or not physical attraction is important.

[Neurochick]

I remember something the "experts" had said in the Matchmaking special about David and Ashley both having strong Christian values, so definitely not Jewish.  Sam had mentioned her grandparents wanted her to find a nice Jewish guy and then just ANY guy.  I don't find either David or Neil particularly attractive although they are perfectly fine looking, but I am not signing up for a reality show to get married to a complete stranger sight unseen.  The "experts" really should pay attention (or ask about if they didn't) what physical type the applicants find attractive, because like it or not physical attraction is important.

 

I think the "experts" purposely don't pay attention to the physical types the applicants want.  The issue is that some people are blinded by looks.  Some people put looks above everything else.   There's an old saying, "if you marry hair, hair is what you get," meaning if you're focused too much on looks, then looks will be all you get because a lot of times people get a good looking person get away with bad behavior, whereas a less attractive person would be raked over the coals for the same behavior.

[qtpye]

I would never want anyone's feelings to be hurt, but I can not help but wonder what if one of these groom reacted the way Jaimie Otis acted the first season?

 

Can you imagine a groom collapsing on the floor and huddling into a ball of tears because he was so disappointed in his new wife's appearance?  Can you picture all of his male friends and relatives (all the people comforting Jaimie and telling her to compose herself were female) trying to coax him to continue with the marriage?  Also, the bride probably would not want to go through with the marriage after seeing his reaction (where Jaimie's groom handled everything amazingly well).

 

I hope it never happens, but it is kind of hilarious to think about.

[SaucyMommy]

I would never want anyone's feelings to be hurt, but I can not help but wonder what if one of these groom reacted the way Jaimie Otis acted the first season?

 

Can you imagine a groom collapsing on the floor and huddling into a ball of tears because he was so disappointed in his new wife's appearance?  Can you picture all of his male friends and relatives (all the people comforting Jaimie and telling her to compose herself were female) trying to coax him to continue with the marriage?  Also, the bride probably would not want to go through with the marriage after seeing his reaction (where Jaimie's groom handled everything amazingly well).

 

I hope it never happens, but it is kind of hilarious to think about.

 

the best we got for that was with Jessica and Ryan when you could clearly tell he thought he was too good for her. I mean he did call her trash btw. I liked Neil in this episode. I think he's a really patient and honest guy. I get the sense of all the men that are featured he's the most sincere in his intentions. Tres, is just too smooth for me. I can't get the vibe of player out of my head. I really don't get the "bro" vibe from David. I actually get the "tries way too hard" vibe from him. He's not unattractive but he's also not good looking. IN terms of not paying attention to what they want - not a bad thing. My hubby looks NOTHING like my preferred taste. I always dated dark hair - dark eyed guys. I ended up with a pale, scandanavian with blue eyes and dark hair.

[qtpye]

Well at least you got the "all important trumps everything else" dark hair.  Ashley would be jealous.

[MsPH]

Ashley is not as hot as she thinks. IMO they are on par looks-wise. 

 

I agree. She's pretty, but in a real life sort of way. She's not model gorgeous. David is no male model either, but he's not bad-looking by any means, he's got nice eyes and a nice smile. I just can't believe how picky these people are when it comes to looks. Even if they're not blown away at first sight, you'd think they could at least wait to get to know the other person a bit before deeming them unattractive. At least for me, personality plays a huge role in how I see someone. I can't imagine having such a specific type lookswise. Weight might be an issue, but hair colour? I just can't imagine. But I guess that's why these people are still single.

[Snarklepuss]

I agree with MsPh that these women are really picky on surface attributes and that may be one reason they're still single.  I don't think I ever thought about specific physical attributes like hair or eye color, just if a guy felt right to me or had that "somethin' somethin'" that goes beyond all that.  Also, I hate to say it but I think the internet gives young people the false idea that they can meet anyone who fits their laundry list of "requirements" to a T just because they can flip through thousands of photos of single guys online and see many that fit those requirements.  Well, it's not realistic that out of those thousands you will be able to meet just the exact one that fits all those specific requirements who also likes you, who you would also be able to live with for the rest of your life.  It doesn't work that way.  You have to be willing to make compromises and be flexible to find love.  You can't be over-focused on what may really be irrelevant details in the scheme of the big picture.  If I were presented with David, for example, I'd be happy - Why?  I don't even know but it has nothing to do with his hair or eye color, that's for sure.  Maybe it's because I think I could relate to someone like him, given his smile, his geekiness, etc.  I think a lot of young women today are totally taken in by this "Bachelor" ideal or prince charming thing - They are holding out for something completely unreal and unrealistic.

[ClareWalks]

Ashley is definitely pretty, but she had WAAAAY too much fake hair in at her wedding. It looked like a drag-queen wig. And I say that with the utmost respect and love for drag queens.