S07.E16: Awfully Charitable

[Brooke0707]

Hi everyone!

 New here.... I just read Carole's book. It's haunting. I'm not sure if this is the right place, but isn't this a picture of JfK Jr., Carolyn, and Carole?

 

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/18577417188375883/

Wow, Carole has lost a lot of weight. She also looks way more dorky in that picture if that is her. Wow!!

[Satchels of gold]

Carolyn's mother asked Carole to do a reading at her funeral mass. I say that qualifies as a close friend.

[motorcitymom65]

Carolyn's mother asked Carole to do a reading at her funeral mass. I say that qualifies as a close friend.

But do you have pictures..........? 

 

ETA:  Of course I am kidding, but I can see the proof being requested. 

Edited July 27, 2015 by motorcitymom65

[MissMel]

I don't know Smile Train, I know Smile Foundation which is Jessica Simpson's "charity".  So now I know of 2 that can make a few more smilier kids in the world.

Let me make it three! :) "Shriners Hospitals for Children-Cincinnati is a designated Cleft Lip and Palate Team by the Cleft Palate Foundation and the American Cleft Palate and Craniofacial Association." (Other Shriners hospitals also participate. This is a Facebook post from today. I just follow Cincinnati and Tampa, specifically, because they are the hospitals that care for my son)

[AnnA]

Well, we know that all the jeans/help Heather and Bethenny's booze/snacks/gift bags donated cost Smiletrain nothing but I don't know about the food, the signage, the diamonds or the venue. Lets hope everything was a 100% donation from everyone but I doubt it and there is always some cost involved in covering their, any charity, own costs.

 

 

At the jean decorating party, Kristen said the guy who hosted it was a jeweler and he donated what looked like a gold bracelet with diamonds.

 

I've been on the coordinating end of many fundraising galas, golf tournaments, luncheons, wine tastings, etc....I don't believe the cost of putting that event together would have been minimal. I'm not doubting what was raised, just wondering how much the organization actually gained. They could have lost money, technically.

 

I didn't mean that the cost was minimal.  It could have been substantial but if the venue donated it for a tax write-off and/or the publicity,  there was no cost to the charity.  The same holds true for the signage.  I've been involved in charity events that cost nothing to put on because everything was donated.

Edited July 27, 2015 by AnnA

[shoegal]

I didn't mean that the cost was minimal. It could have been substantial but if the venue donated it for a tax write-off and/or the publicity, there was no cost to the charity. The same holds true for the signage. I've been involved in charity events that cost nothing to put on because everything was donated.

I've never heard of a fundraising event that cost absolutely nothing to put on, in my experience, even if you get substantial donations like the venue (which in my experience is usually a partial donation in the form of a discounted fee or waiving the fee certain services), the organization still has to get permits and insurance for the event, all of the rentals for tables, chairs, and the set up, staff for food prep, delivery, bartenders, audio guys setting up, the list goes on and on and on (and on....). Staff time is not to be overlooked either. This was a pretty nice event, from what I could see from attendance, it looked disappointing.

ETA: interesting info on the cost of fundraising http://www.socialvelocity.net/2009/10/calculating-the-cost-of-fundraising/

Edited July 27, 2015 by shoegal

[Deputy Deputy CoS]

Kristen Taekman’s Smile Train Journey

On January 21, 2015, Smile Train supporter Kristen Taekman had the opportunity to visit our local partners and patients in Mexico.

http://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.smiletrain.org%2Flanding%2Fkristen-taekman%2F&h=HAQHGi1WC&enc=AZMUHN-xYjS-HBchv1LTCsNzkEWRWwR7NPhmkU_AZojM61C6TPbStqIKvfZ4J3Sqar0nC5OeTZG5w7ofmzvI6Aj7yY8ug42h38v074tlgoTm9gCVm4ciiTEe8Kc-j2L0zqEauU1Ydxv-n6dF_fBONtiBaA-_wH-50LswEC9xo139XXoRHQVMoJgFJaiXB3LdHsDL3KH1yQSgeGow89ia7h3e&s=1

 

What do you know. She is making out of country trips to support the charity without cameras in tow. 

[WireWrap]

I've never heard of a fundraising event that cost absolutely nothing to put on, in my experience, even if you get substantial donations like the venue (which in my experience is usually a partial donation in the form of a discounted fee or waiving the fee certain services), the organization still has to get permits and insurance for the event, all of the rentals for tables, chairs, and the set up, staff for food prep, delivery, bartenders, audio guys setting up, the list goes on and on and on (and on....). Staff time is not to be overlooked either. This was a pretty nice event, from what I could see from attendance, it looked disappointing.

Not trying to nit pick here but we really do not know how well the attendance was at the event because they filmed the HWs and not all the guests. I really doubt that production got releases from everyone in attendance which would limit their ability to film the entire event, I suspect that what we saw was only done for the show and the real event was held directly after filming ended that night.  We do know that Kristen was able to raise enough funds to help 100 children in Mexico which translates to at least $25K in needed funds outside any overhead costs for the event.

[AnnA]

I've never heard of a fundraising event that cost absolutely nothing to put on,

 

That's a shame because it does happen.

 

A venue that typically hosts weddings, retirement, anniversary, engagement or whatever parties is capable of putting all the pieces together.  They also have their own insurance so I doubt the charity would have to get a policy to cover a one night event.  

[shoegal]

Not trying to nit pick here but we really do not know how well the attendance was at the event because they filmed the HWs and not all the guests. I really doubt that production got releases from everyone in attendance which would limit their ability to film the entire event, I suspect that what we saw was only done for the show and the real event was held directly after filming ended that night. We do know that Kristen was able to raise enough funds to help 100 children in Mexico which translates to at least $25K in needed funds outside any overhead costs for the event.

I'm judging the attendance based on the shots of the event, which showed the non HW guests in the background. There were not a lot that I could tell. The 25k "raised" is not the amount after the cost of the event. Organizations don't publicize that number. I hope they made money, I'm just curious as to whether or not they actually did. I always wonder about these HW "charity" events.

Edited July 27, 2015 by shoegal

[shoegal]

That's a shame because it does happen.

 

From my experience, the industry standard is that special events cost the organization roughly .50 to raise $1.

[motorcitymom65]

I'm judging the attendance based on the shots of the event, which showed the non HW guests in the background. There were not a lot that I could tell. The 25k "raised" is not the amount after the cost of the event. Organizations don't publicize that number. I hope they made money, I'm just curious as to whether or not they actually did. I always wonder about these HW "charity" events.

It's been discussed before that at some of the events, the filming is done for an hour or so, and then the real guests come in. Mainly because they cannot get waivers for everyone that might be there, but also that because in some cases it could be difficult to film scenes and get the HW's in small groupings if there are too many people there. At Beth's birthday party, they apparently filmed the scene upstairs at a restaurant for a couple of hours, then went downstairs where her real party was. I heard a couple of years ago that they only filmed Kyle's White Party for two hours, then shut the cameras down and the rest of the guests came in after 9PM.  Not saying this is the case here, but it is possible there were more folks there at some point than we actually saw. Either way, it was nice to see a HW do something nice. 

[zoeysmom]

Years ago when Jill held her charity benefit the expert said $250.00 per head was the reasonable price as a ticket price and there were some fabulous auction pieces.  One being a $5,000.00 photo shoot with Giles Bensimon.  As a side note-he reneged and the money had to be returned to the donor. 

 

If this charity charged $200.00 and sold 100 tickets they would have raked in $20,000.00.  I m assuming only from the step and repeat there was no jewelry company.  It seems they had vodka, gin, tequila and an Italian wine company on the S&R as well as YUMMIE and SMILE TRAIN.  I didn't notice the venue on the S&R, so pretty safe to say it wasn't comped.  So for a rookie adventure I think Kristen faired well and Ramona getting ticked off was deserved.  She missed the boat twice, once in the Diamonds theme and again in the wine department.  My guess is Smile Train had their own sponsors and didn't want either Skinny Girl or Ramona's wine.  Also noticeably missing was E-Boost and Pop of Color.  If I were Kristen and putting on an event I would get the family trade in there. 

 

I think it is great that 100 kids got new smiles.  I would think it just as great if the number were 50 or 15.  Wonderful charity.

[shoegal]

I was told there would not be math when I joined this site.

 

So if what you are saying is true, fifty cents on the dollar, would that mean that there was $50,000 raised and $25,000 cleared?

The amount cleared would only be known to Smile Train, the 25k raised doesn't take into account what it cost them to raise that amount. I've never heard of an organization going public with the actual amount "cleared", they are going to paint the rosiest public picture (even if they technically lost money). Fundraising events are pretty inefficient ways to raise money.

[AnnA]

Fundraising events are pretty inefficient ways to raise money.

 

I think ZM and MCM are right.  We didn't see the whole event - just the part filmed with the HWs.  Considering it was her first charity event, I think Kristen did well for Smile Train.   Skinny Girl was in the gift bags.  I don't know about Ramona's pinot though.  If she had donated any, she would have made sure we heard about it - just like she did with the six cheapo chains she donated.

 

I was invited to a fundraising event that cost $1,000 just for the ticket.  (I didn't go! LOL)  That's a pretty efficient way to raise money. Political fundraisers can cost up to $10,000 a plate.  A group of 25 ordinary women helped with the Operation Smile event I worked on and we raised almost $3,500 without laying out a dime.  This group of women and their contacts have a lot more money to donate to charity than we did.

Edited July 27, 2015 by AnnA

[zoeysmom]

shoegal, Ok, well then I am lost in this discussion with you then. I don't know what point you are making. It's probably me, I just don't understand. If 100 smiles were made, what difference does it make about the money?

 

 

 

zoeysmom, I was more impressed that eboost and pop of color were missing. It showed me that Kristen was truly in it for the smiles. And also, there was one scene, where two of them were going to sit on an ottoman or something, I can't remember which two, but one of them were holding a Skinny Girl cardboard fan. So SG was on the scene. But how much b was able to promote, I don't know.

I think Kristen was in it for the storyline first and foremost and it is nice she has found a charity.  COme next yer when she isn't on the show it will be interesting to see if she has an event and if Heather continues her generosity.  Although I can see where it is admirable their mutual companies didn't take time to promote a donation of an alternative beverage and maybe an addition of nail polish to the gift bag would be a good thing.  I like the charity because it is price point-$250.00 gets an operation which probably means that the entry to the event should be $250.00 and hopefully the auction items and pop up stores revenue could off set the event expenses.

 

I sound like the bah humbug here but I have little desire to see more or the ENTIRE kid's birthday party (unless of course Ellie drops the f-bomb) and I have very little desire to see an infomercial for one of these women's charities.  The exception being Heather's when we saw her son and the related charity event she put on and her child's story.   What made the charity interesting in the past is crazy Jill planning it and the craziness that ensued.  I loved how each woman had their own idea of what should happen at the event and whose name should appear on the publicity.  Good times.   

[shoegal]

I seriously don't understand the math point being made. If they raised enough to make 100 smiles, they had to have had enough to cover expenses above the cost of the 100 smiles, correct? I am going to let it go, unless someone wants to make it clearer to me. I feel like I need to pull a Kristen and have the waiter in T and C pour the booze directly into my opened mouth...

The "100 smiles" just means that the event raised 25k, but that does not mean that is the amount that the organization actually made, as it doesn't take into account any cost to the organization to put on the event. For example, if it cost an organization 10k to put on an event, and the event raised 12k, the organization is still going to say they "raised" 12k, not 2k. The 2k is only known to them. If they spent 12k to put on the event and only raised 10k, they are still going to say they raised 10k even if they actually lost 2k to put it on. Does this help?

Edited July 27, 2015 by shoegal

[AnnA]

I think it is great that 100 kids got new smiles. 

 

Me too!

 

[WireWrap]

I think Kristen was in it for the storyline first and foremost and it is nice she has found a charity.  COme next yer when she isn't on the show it will be interesting to see if she has an event and if Heather continues her generosity.  Although I can see where it is admirable their mutual companies didn't take time to promote a donation of an alternative beverage and maybe an addition of nail polish to the gift bag would be a good thing.  I like the charity because it is price point-$250.00 gets an operation which probably means that the entry to the event should be $250.00 and hopefully the auction items and pop up stores revenue could off set the event expenses.

 

I sound like the bah humbug here but I have little desire to see more or the ENTIRE kid's birthday party (unless of course Ellie drops the f-bomb) and I have very little desire to see an infomercial for one of these women's charities.  The exception being Heather's when we saw her son and the related charity event she put on and her child's story.   What made the charity interesting in the past is crazy Jill planning it and the craziness that ensued.  I loved how each woman had their own idea of what should happen at the event and whose name should appear on the publicity.  Good times.   

I get what you are saying, the drama that drives the show as a whole is missing at some of these charity events or at kids parties, as it should be IMO. Now had this event been "run/hosted" by Ramona or even Sonja, we would have seen the fireworks erupt a la Jill of olden days! LOL BUT, there is enough time on the shows now days to feature the HWs doing something good, worthwhile, with little to no fighting. It is a nice respite from the drama and gives us a different perspective on the HW  themselves, a more rounded  picture of them so to speak.  JMO.

[anonymiss]

Bethenny and LuAnn did the same thing in the 1st…2nd?…season though - they questioned Ramona's dating "rules" and at least Bethenny made a crack about how they were as dated as Ramona's Jane Fonda aerobics attire.

 

I'm at the point with Ramona that I don't even think it's necessarily an opinion that the woman's socially graceless and clueless - more like a statement of fact.

True. I think it feels supercilious with Carole because of how she bragged about her flirting style when she first met Adam, and then we were treated to her embarrassing display of throwing herself at him (this is how you do it, ladies). Then she remarks that Ramona has "no game," ostensibly unlike her cool moves, including asking if her rib cage is distracting her date.

Edited July 28, 2015 by anonymiss

[shoegal]

 

I sound like the bah humbug here but I have little desire to see more or the ENTIRE kid's birthday party (unless of course Ellie drops the f-bomb) and I have very little desire to see an infomercial for one of these women's charities. 

I agree, I had to laugh when Heather tried to get all righteous on Ramona asking 'what are your charities, where is your heart?' and Ramona said "domestic violence" and Dorinda was like 'I love that, that's good' (paraphrasing). LOL, domestic violence....that's good! I love that!

[zoeysmom]

I get what you are saying, the drama that drives the show as a whole is missing at some of these charity events or at kids parties, as it should be IMO. Now had this event been "run/hosted" by Ramona or even Sonja, we would have seen the fireworks erupt a la Jill of olden days! LOL BUT, there is enough time on the shows now days to feature the HWs doing something good, worthwhile, with little to no fighting. It is a nice respite from the drama and gives us a different perspective on the HW  themselves, a more rounded  picture of them so to speak.  JMO.

I think I stated my point poorly.  I don't want to see random charity Kristen hooked up with do an infomercial on their good deeds and viability only because there are tons of charities out there and it could turn into a disease/disorder/disaster each week,   I don't like the entire or extended kid's birthday parties.  RHOBH did a good job of it in their initial season and a couple of times since-but the other RH were there and it made it interesting.  I think I just am crotchety and have zero desire to see kids race around Chuckie Cheese.  Now Dr. Paul being a klutz on mechanical bull is somehow funny at a kid's party, Gia Giudice singing some stupid song about being mad at her uncle not so funny. 

[WireWrap]

I agree, I had to laugh when Heather tried to get all righteous on Ramona asking 'what are your charities, where is your heart?' and Ramona said "domestic violence" and Dorinda was like 'I love that, that's good' (paraphrasing). LOL, domestic violence....that's good! I love that!

The best line award went to Sonja who threw serious shade on Ramona by saying they were asking her what charity she supported, NOT what she did to people!

[shoegal]

Ok this helps in that it lets me know that you and I are going about it from different angles. I am coming at it as, they tallied the money raised, subtracted the expenses, and had enough left over for 100 smiles from the event. And you are looking at it as, they went in wanting to raise enough for 100 smiles, and ate the difference because they only raised enough for, say 75 smiles? I am not trying to put a spin on my view vs your view at all, please don't think that. I am just thinking, understanding finally, that we are thinking about it differently, which end comes first. I think they tallied up the money, subtracted expenses, and came up with the smiles. You think they came in with the number of smiles, raised the money, subtracted the expenses, had a loss, still paid for the number of smiles they came in with? 

 

I have worked in non profit for over 10 years, I am basing this on my experience. I have never worked for an organization that reported net amounts for fundraising events. I'm just wondering how much they actually made, that's all.

They will always publicize the gross amount raised, not the actual net amount minus the cost.

[zoeysmom]

Ok this helps in that it lets me know that you and I are going about it from different angles. I am coming at it as, they tallied the money raised, subtracted the expenses, and had enough left over for 100 smiles from the event. And you are looking at it as, they went in wanting to raise enough for 100 smiles, and ate the difference because they only raised enough for, say 75 smiles? I am not trying to put a spin on my view vs your view at all, please don't think that. I am just thinking, understanding finally, that we are thinking about it differently, which end comes first. I think they tallied up the money, subtracted expenses, and came up with the smiles. You think they came in with the number of smiles, raised the money, subtracted the expenses, had a loss, still paid for the number of smiles they came in with? 

 

zoeysmom, I also hate the charity events, I even posted No please don't do Heather training for her charity. But for some reason, this charity, and Kristen being a part of it, touched my heart. I just think it is a perfect match, for the charity and for her. And I hate charity shows!! What the hell is wrong with me and Kristen and The Smile Train being a trifeca of smoopies?

I hate to say it but I think the real heroes are the medical professionals who donate their time and money to fly down to these area and perform the surgeries.  A big Bravo to them.  It astounds me they can do a surgery so life changing for $250.00.  Thank you, thank you.  I remember years ago on E! they had Dr. Paul guest starring on a free  reconstruction for a cleft palate. 

[shoegal]

I hate to say it but I think the real heroes are the medical professionals who donate their time and money to fly down to these area and perform the surgeries. A big Bravo to them. It astounds me they can do a surgery so life changing for $250.00. Thank you, thank you. I remember years ago on E! they had Dr. Paul guest starring on a free reconstruction for a cleft palate.

Smile Train actually trains local doctors to perform the surgeries and sponsors the surgery, Operation Smile flies in doctors to perform the surgeries pro bono in other countries. This is actually a big source of contention between the two organizations. Seriously, Smile Train and Operation Smile are very interesting! To me, at least. LOL

I do agree with you about the real heroes, for sure.

Edited July 28, 2015 by shoegal

[WireWrap]

I think I stated my point poorly.  I don't want to see random charity Kristen hooked up with do an infomercial on their good deeds and viability only because there are tons of charities out there and it could turn into a disease/disorder/disaster each week,   I don't like the entire or extended kid's birthday parties.  RHOBH did a good job of it in their initial season and a couple of times since-but the other RH were there and it made it interesting.  I think I just am crotchety and have zero desire to see kids race around Chuckie Cheese.  Now Dr. Paul being a klutz on mechanical bull is somehow funny at a kid's party, Gia Giudice singing some stupid song about being mad at her uncle not so funny. 

Oh, OK! LOL I get it.

 

I don't like seeing minor children featured on the show but snippets of them with their parents does gives us a more informed picture of the women themselves but the Giudice girls (most of them) are as camera hungry as their mom and I don't think we ever saw many real/unscripted/natural moments with them.

 

I hope Kristen's involvement with SmileTrain is the real deal and that she continues to support them even after she is no longer on the show. I don't doubt that Heather will continue to support Organ Donation or No Boundaries well after the cameras are gone. As for the others, who knows what will happen after the cameras leave them behind, I suspect many will drop any charity work but there a few that will continue no matter what happens because they were involved with charities before Bravo came along.

[ryebread]

Speaking of cleft palate - Joaquin Phoenix was born with one.  Sort of.  This scar on his lip isn't from a repair, it's an actual cleft that didn't fully separate in utero.  We watched him in "Walk the Line" last night and never noticed it before so I googled.  (Terrific flick, btw, if you like biographies.  He played Johnny Cash to Reese Witherspoon's June Carter.  Worth a watch if you, ya know, ever get tired of Housewives. ;-)

 

Topic:  I thought it was interesting the way Bravo put Bethenny's therapy appointment immediately following Dorinda, Heather and Carole's Day at the Psychic. Drove home the point that Sema the Magic Coffee Ground Reader and Dr. Armador are just a couple of swindler's dispensing nothing but bullshit and beverages.  Sema wins, though, because she had cookies.

 

[breezy424]

Dorinda's blog is up.  On her apology to Heather:

 

I thought it’d be a good time to take Heather aside and try to clear the air, because we were both just getting more and more aggravated by the misunderstandings and clashes we’d had throughout the season and, in those situations, time is NEVER on your side. It’s never good to stew in something (unless it involves onions, carrots, turkey broth, dry sherry, and a mother’s touch, but that’s a different story). Well, as you may have noticed, this wasn’t exactly met with open arms. I guess even with forgiveness, Heather passes judgment. Oh well, I tried. I just hope she’s a little less “stiff” with the other girls she preached to all season about the rights and wrongs of their lives: Sonja (“I will never come to your house again!”) to Bethenny (“I think you’re a know-it-all,”) to Ramona (“GET UP!” and “Go take a walk…buh-bye Felicia!”) to Luann (“Wouldn’t you be upset?…I guess I have a different set of values and ethics!”). Kristen and Carole got the winning end of that stick, let me tell ya…

 

Geez, this woman is ridiculous.  What the heck did she want from Heather?  An apology back?   Heather already apologized to Dorinda when no apology was necessary by Heather in Turks - Dorinda was the asshole.  But then again, this is a woman who cried because Heather didn't wait for her to enter a restaurant.  Even with forgiveness, Heather passes judgement?  Huh?

 

And we're back to 'preaching'.  What does preaching have to do with how Heather reacted in the situations Dorinda brought up - that's called someone having an opinion.  The ironic part is that Dorinda is actually doing the preaching with how one behaves when you go to a restaurant, or how you don't use 'f' when you're in certain social situations.  Maybe Lu told her you have to have a campaign slogan.  Lu has Girl Code.  Dorinda has Heather preaches.

[Lone Wolf]

I hope that we get to see Bethenny's apartment after it's finished.  The one they built during Bethenny Ever After (now occupied  by Hopper et fille) was freakin' awesome, as Petah Griffen would say, and it looks like this one will be, too.

 

Radzi's place is pretty sweet also, although that kitchen is ridiculously small, even by NY standards.  

 

At this point, the house porn is the most compelling reason for me to watch...

Edited July 28, 2015 by Lone Wolf

[breezy424]

Last comment (I think) on this episode:  I've never heard them called 'rainbow cookies' as Carole referred to them at the psychic's house.  To me, they're seven layer cookies.  I grew up in NYC and that's what they always were called at the Italian bakeries.  BTW, they are soooo good.

[talula]

Last comment (I think) on this episode: I've never heard them called 'rainbow cookies' as Carole referred to them at the psychic's house. To me, they're seven layer cookies. I grew up in NYC and that's what they always were called at the Italian bakeries. BTW, they are soooo good.

Where I live on Long Island, NY they are known as rainbow cookies. My DIL makes them at Thanksgiving & Christmas.

Carole grew up in Suffern, New York.

When I googled Seven Layer Cookies I found...the same thing! :D I guess they are called either name, lol.

Wikipedia has various names for them--

Alternative names: Rainbow cake, Napoleon cookies, seven layer cookies, Venetian cookies, seven layer cake, Italian flag cookies, tricolor cookies

Cookie platter from the show:

Photo from: https://www.trashtalktv.com/07/22/real-housewives-of-new-york-recap-median-mediums/361766/5/

Edited July 28, 2015 by talula

[motorcitymom65]

Dorinda's blog is up.  On her apology to Heather:

 

I thought it’d be a good time to take Heather aside and try to clear the air, because we were both just getting more and more aggravated by the misunderstandings and clashes we’d had throughout the season and, in those situations, time is NEVER on your side. It’s never good to stew in something (unless it involves onions, carrots, turkey broth, dry sherry, and a mother’s touch, but that’s a different story). Well, as you may have noticed, this wasn’t exactly met with open arms. I guess even with forgiveness, Heather passes judgment. Oh well, I tried. I just hope she’s a little less “stiff” with the other girls she preached to all season about the rights and wrongs of their lives: Sonja (“I will never come to your house again!”) to Bethenny (“I think you’re a know-it-all,”) to Ramona (“GET UP!” and “Go take a walk…buh-bye Felicia!”) to Luann (“Wouldn’t you be upset?…I guess I have a different set of values and ethics!”). Kristen and Carole got the winning end of that stick, let me tell ya…

 

Geez, this woman is ridiculous.  What the heck did she want from Heather?  An apology back?   Heather already apologized to Dorinda when no apology was necessary by Heather in Turks - Dorinda was the asshole.  But then again, this is a woman who cried because Heather didn't wait for her to enter a restaurant.  Even with forgiveness, Heather passes judgement?  Huh?

 

And we're back to 'preaching'.  What does preaching have to do with how Heather reacted in the situations Dorinda brought up - that's called someone having an opinion.  The ironic part is that Dorinda is actually doing the preaching with how one behaves when you go to a restaurant, or how you don't use 'f' when you're in certain social situations.  Maybe Lu told her you have to have a campaign slogan.  Lu has Girl Code.  Dorinda has Heather preaches.

This part of her blog made me see red. I couldn't believe what I was reading. She has the nerve to call out Heather for her reaction to Ramona (take a walk), but has zero judgment for Ramona for bringing the whole thing up? I don't get this. She of the "back that shit up" would have put up with that? I certainly don't think so. 

 

She is making me a little crazy with her Heather hate. What "misunderstanding and clashes" have they had through the season? Was there something before T&C which was near the damn end of the season that we didn't see? And how was any of that Heather's fault? From what I've been able to tell (and even from the blogs of the other women that were there), Heather did nothing wrong. She seems to have such a problem with the preachy stuff, but only from Heather. Ramona is certainly every bit as preachy, as is Beth. Even Lu is as well. Hell, thus far in the season Dorinda has had the two most meaningless preachy moments of anyone else. There has to be something else that we are not seeing, but for some reason she is not letting us in on it. There is no way that anyone with even one ounce of ability to self reflect would call out someone else for being judgmental after her display in T&C. After something like that, you just stay away from the word judgment and hope that everyone else forgets what a fool you were. 

[BettyPoz]

This part of her blog made me see red. I couldn't believe what I was reading. She has the nerve to call out Heather for her reaction to Ramona (take a walk), but has zero judgment for Ramona for bringing the whole thing up? I don't get this. She of the "back that shit up" would have put up with that? I certainly don't think so. 

 

She is making me a little crazy with her Heather hate. What "misunderstanding and clashes" have they had through the season? Was there something before T&C which was near the damn end of the season that we didn't see? And how was any of that Heather's fault? From what I've been able to tell (and even from the blogs of the other women that were there), Heather did nothing wrong. She seems to have such a problem with the preachy stuff, but only from Heather. Ramona is certainly every bit as preachy, as is Beth. Even Lu is as well. Hell, thus far in the season Dorinda has had the two most meaningless preachy moments of anyone else. There has to be something else that we are not seeing, but for some reason she is not letting us in on it. There is no way that anyone with even one ounce of ability to self reflect would call out someone else for being judgmental after her display in T&C. After something like that, you just stay away from the word judgment and hope that everyone else forgets what a fool you were.

I wondered about the "misunderstandings and clashes" too. She better back that shit up! Like dates, examples...that kind of shit!

Telling someone to Get out of here, or I'm never coming to your house again is not preaching. If you're gonna bitch about someone Dorinda get it right!

What a jerk. I really liked her at the start of the season and sometimes now but not when she picking on my girl Holla!

[motorcitymom65]

I wondered about the "misunderstandings and clashes" too. She better back that shit up! Like dates, examples...that kind of shit!

Telling someone to Get out of here, or I'm never coming to your house again is not preaching. If you're gonna bitch about someone Dorinda get it right!

What a jerk. I really liked her at the start of the season and sometimes now but not when she picking on my girl Holla!

No, it's not preachy to say that she isn't going into Sonja's house again. It was her opinion, and she had every right to it. Surely it is no more preachy than Dorinda going bat shit crazy because Heather didn't wait to walk into a restaurant with her, something she continued to bitch at Heather about for days on Twitter, months after the actual event. Everyone seemed to agree that it was wrong of Sonja to not let them into her home. Dorinda said it at the time, as did Beth. The funny thing is that Kristen was as angry at Sonja as Heather was, yet Dorinda has no harsh words for Kristen at all. She clearly has other issues with Heather, but she hasn't explained them. Something about crayons? 

[RedHawk]

Perhaps attendance looked low because everyone who was on camera had to sign a release, and thus many people avoided the cameras? Seems like all these events shown on different reality shows are more for the show than anything and aren't well attended.

[HunterHunted]

At this point, I'm disliking Dorinda's preaching about Heather's preaching.

[BettyPoz]

At this point, I'm disliking Dorinda's preaching about Heather's preaching.

Cosign!

Preaching is "You should/shouldn't" in my book of preaching (and boy oh boy I CAN PREACH!).  In FACT, Dorinda was preaching to Sonja in the T&C. Preaching to her as to how she should be/respond to the other women.  So back that shit up Dorinda! Move on!

[WireWrap]

Cosign!

Preaching is "You should/shouldn't" in my book of preaching (and boy oh boy I CAN PREACH!).  In FACT, Dorinda was preaching to Sonja in the T&C. Preaching to her as to how she should be/respond to the other women.  So back that shit up Dorinda! Move on!

 I have yet to hear Heather "preach" to Dorinda but can't say the same about Dorinda! It happened three times in T&C alone, the "wait gate" and the "F word gate" are prime examples of Dorinda preaching to Heather and as you mentioned her preaching to Sonja. Dorinda needs to "back that shit up" and look in the mirror to see who just LOVES to PREACH! LOL

[izabella]

Dorinda is projecting - she is the preachy one.  I think Dorinda must feel insecure in some way around Heather.  Why else would she target her in such a way?

[WireWrap]

Dorinda is projecting - she is the preachy one.  I think Dorinda must feel insecure in some way around Heather.  Why else would she target her in such a way?

IMO, just mine, Dorinda is going at Heather because of Bethenny. Ramona, Sonja and LuAnn have all aligned with Bethenny because they know she is tight with Andy and Bethenny does not like Heather, so going against Heather is job security for them and Dorinda has joined up with them.

[motorcitymom65]

Dorinda is projecting - she is the preachy one.  I think Dorinda must feel insecure in some way around Heather.  Why else would she target her in such a way?

Such a good question. Dorinda is certainly preachy, and so are the rest of them.  I have yet to see what Heather has done or said directly to Dorinda to piss her off, so I guess she is just mad in general at the way Heather acts? But why is she not mad at the others over the way they act? Why not Ramona and Sonja over their childish need to get the best room, or the way Ramona got everyone all worked up over the Sonja issue that first night? Or of Beth going off on Ramona when she wanted to go to the restaurant? Or at Beth when she was giving Ramona so much advice about her book? Really, one could go on and on about all of the judgment that has been passed around this show, but for the most part, Dorinda just rolls with it. Except when it is Heather. There is something very strange there. 

 

It would be interesting to know how their friendship started in the Berkshire's the summer before they began to film. I had assumed that when Heather heard Dorinda was joining the cast, that she reached out to get to know her, but maybe it was the other way around? Heather said in her blog that when they were hanging out, Dorinda mentioned that she hadn't really seen Lu or Ramona in a long time, so I am assuming it was nice for Dorinda to come on the show and have an additional person that she had connected to recently. At first I thought that maybe Dorinda felt that Heather wasn't paying enough attention to her, but that doesn't sound right to me, because it seems like Dorinda hit it off with almost everyone, and was getting invites and making friends with all the others. I would have understood it if Heather had been ignoring her, and the others didn't really care for her either. Then she would have felt left out, but she was anything but left out of the events this season and certainly Lu and Ramona picked up their friendship as if they had been close for years. 

[stinkogingko]

I think a lot can be explained by Ramona's and LuAnn's concerns about losing their spots on the show. LuAnn needs the money and Ramona needs the spotlight even more than before. They had to have been aware that 8 is a big number and that further reductions were likely. If your choices are to align against Bethenny or Heather, there's no way that Ramona lines up with Heather. I think Lu waited to see which way the wind was blowing and decided Heather wasn't the stronger horse. And eventually Dorinda did the same. Also, Dorinda really reacted badly to being described as "gangsta" by Heather. So glad that Carole used it again to Bethenny!

I suppose it's possible that they've held back some footage for the reunion that will explainDorinda's sudden antipathy. But I doubt it, given how hard the editing monkeys have worked to show Heather in a bad light, I doubt it.

Edited July 28, 2015 by stinkogingko

[breezy424]

I do think that part of the reason why Dorinda is fixated on Heather is because she feels she's part of the Ro, Sonja, Lu, Beth clique but I also think a big part of it is because Dorinda can be hyper sensitive and paranoid  and felt humiliated by Heather because, first, Heather didn't wait for her at the restaurant and second, Heather had the nerve not to put up with Dorinda's drunken rant about using the F word.  She blames Heather for embarrassing her but the fact is Dorinda embarrassed herself.  It didn't seem that Dorinda had much of a problem with Heather in the actual filming up until this time.  The TH's which are filmed after the fact is where the animosity were coming out prior to Turks.  

 

And when she apologized to Heather at the fundraiser, she didn't get what she wanted from Heather.  She wanted Heather to grovel and say that she was wrong too.  She didn't get that and felt she was humiliated even more.  So her ego continues on the it's not me, it's Heather train. 

 

I think she was surprised that some of the other women called her out on her behavior and some of the things she's said in her tweets and blogs.  But Dorinda can't let it go.  Like she said in one of her TH's, she'll fight till the end.  She has to win.

[zoeysmom]

Smile Train actually trains local doctors to perform the surgeries and sponsors the surgery, Operation Smile flies in doctors to perform the surgeries pro bono in other countries. This is actually a big source of contention between the two organizations. Seriously, Smile Train and Operation Smile are very interesting! To me, at least. LOL

I do agree with you about the real heroes, for sure.

Thanks for the distinction.  We are friends with a doc who flies down to Mexico to tend to the ailing.  He uses his airplane and takes a  six person medical team with him.  Such human kindness.   I just assumed Smile train flew docs in very important distinction.  Maybe I do need the infomercial.  I kid, I kid.

[jaync]

Dorinda needs several naps. Cracky bitch has managed to become one of the most hypocritical HWs ever, which is quite the feat given the competition, and being it's just her first season. I don't know why she's working so hard to keep her apple, considering she thinks the process of filming the show is so unpurified.

[zoeysmom]

So there was a full moon at some point and Sonja decided to write her blog.  I am getting nervous I agree with most of what she said.  I especially agree with her insight on Heather.  There is a reason when things aren't about Sonja, Sonja always has the best lines and people want to be around her, she isn't sanctimonious.  She seems to see the good and bad in everyone and has started choosing who she invests energy in and who she ignores. http://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-new-york-city/season-7/blogs/sonja-morgan/sonja-who-put-heather-on-safety

 

I guess there are more blow ups to come.

[shoegal]

So there was a full moon at some point and Sonja decided to write her blog.  I am getting nervous I agree with most of what she said.  I especially agree with her insight on Heather.  There is a reason when things aren't about Sonja, Sonja always has the best lines and people want to be around her, she isn't sanctimonious.  She seems to see the good and bad in everyone and has started choosing who she invests energy in and who she ignores. http://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-new-york-city/season-7/blogs/sonja-morgan/sonja-who-put-heather-on-safety

 

I guess there are more blow ups to come.

Ha! Yes, it must be a full moon, I am reading this blog thinking Sonja is insightful, coherent and on point. Is she still an episode behind?

[shoegal]

Such a good question. Dorinda is certainly preachy, and so are the rest of them.  I have yet to see what Heather has done or said directly to Dorinda to piss her off, so I guess she is just mad in general at the way Heather acts? But why is she not mad at the others over the way they act? Why not Ramona and Sonja over their childish need to get the best room, or the way Ramona got everyone all worked up over the Sonja issue that first night? Or of Beth going off on Ramona when she wanted to go to the restaurant? Or at Beth when she was giving Ramona so much advice about her book? Really, one could go on and on about all of the judgment that has been passed around this show, but for the most part, Dorinda just rolls with it. Except when it is Heather. There is something very strange there. 

 

It would be interesting to know how their friendship started in the Berkshire's the summer before they began to film. I had assumed that when Heather heard Dorinda was joining the cast, that she reached out to get to know her, but maybe it was the other way around? Heather said in her blog that when they were hanging out, Dorinda mentioned that she hadn't really seen Lu or Ramona in a long time, so I am assuming it was nice for Dorinda to come on the show and have an additional person that she had connected to recently. At first I thought that maybe Dorinda felt that Heather wasn't paying enough attention to her, but that doesn't sound right to me, because it seems like Dorinda hit it off with almost everyone, and was getting invites and making friends with all the others. I would have understood it if Heather had been ignoring her, and the others didn't really care for her either. Then she would have felt left out, but she was anything but left out of the events this season and certainly Lu and Ramona picked up their friendship as if they had been close for years.

IIRC, LuAnn introduced Heather and Dorinda sometime prior to the summer before they started filming. I am guessing because Dorinda was coming on the show. I think the tension between Heather and Dorinda is as simple as they expressed a the denim decorating party, that they are both seeing a side of the other that they didn't see before. It sounds like they had a nice, easy friendship by the pool in the Berkshires, but maybe didn't know each other as well as they thought. Now they see things in each other that they don't like. Add in the other ladies and cameras, and that quick friendship vanishes in a hurry.

[motorcitymom65]

Ha! Yes, it must be a full moon, I am reading this blog thinking Sonja is insightful, coherent and on point. Is she still an episode behind?

Yes, whoever is writing her blogs now must not realize they are an episode behind. This started at the same time she hired this person to write her blogs. I've never seen such a huge contrast in writing styles as has been apparent in hers over the last 4weeks or so. Astonishing really. They use to be so rambling and confusing I was exhausted by the time I finished reading. Now it's pretty easy to get through. Still crazy, but easier to follow.

Edited July 28, 2015 by motorcitymom65