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S02.E15: FIFA II


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After the arrests of numerous top officials, John Oliver decided to give an update on the state of FIFA.

 

Personally, I would be surprised if he didn't mention the FIFA News.

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Gods I hope so. There are ridiculous amounts of jokes to be made about the US being the ones to head this much less everything involving FIFA itself. Not to mention that Switzerland "Nazi gold? What? Where? We're neutral!" participating in the arrests and extradition.

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I haven't had time to listen to it yet, but judging from the episode description, they're talking FIFA on this week's Bugle podcast.

FIFA news keeps breaking, so this will probably keep the LWT writers busy right up 'til Sunday afternoon!

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He strikes right at the heart of the issue by addressing the sponsors, and the money that goes to FIFA, but then his call to action for them, is to insult the brands on the most superficial of levels?

 

It made me realize that it's the one aspect of the show that detracts ever so much. His one-liners on the brands are good for a throwaway laugh, but undermine some of the credibility that he seeks to establish. It's probably just flicking a nerve on me as opposed to any real issue, but it remains my criticism. Where the Daily Show has made its - very obviously - tongue-in-cheek references, John is taking these more deliberate pot-shots, which just seem cheap to me.

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I luuuuved that Ollie made the FIFA corruption scandal his number one priority, as did several members of the audience. As someone who cares about soccer, going after these criminal bastards this was a long time coming. Sepp Blatter, Chuck Blazer, Jack Warner, they've all behaved like cartoonish Bond villains for too long. The FBI should continue to go after these filth. And sponsors should think long and hard about disassociating themselves from FIFA as long as criminals like Blatter remain. And it just may happen sooner than anyone thinks!

 

As for the rest of the show, if Pope Francis had watched an episode of Friends in the last twenty five years, he would have been convinced that television sucked and not worth watching ever again.

 

And what the fuck Thailand?!! You got enough problems with your sex trade industry. Your idolizing fascination of Hitler make things worse for you.

 

I just wish Ollie had brought out Rip Taylor to throw confetti at the audience. Or is he too old for that anymore?

 

EDIT: Realized I forgot a forward slash for my link. I'm so embarrassed. <:(

Edited by Victor the Crab
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I'm not a soccer fan nor do I aspire to enter into the business enterprises, but that FIFA story must have LWT gleefully shoved every other underrated main story topic aside for that one story, which is why the final product was somewhat underwhelming, but still GLORIOUS. One thing I do have to point out: when Ollie-Scone was addressing the FIFA sponsors, I thought he was pulling a Colbert when he would willingly drink a Bud Light Lime. It reminded me of Colbert's endorsement for that drink back in TCR, but with Ollie-Scone doing the exact opposite by eviscerating the product. Coincidence, no?

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I guess I'm the only one in the world who doesn't give a damn about FIFA, World Cup Soccer, or sports in general, so I was bored with the main story. I know there's a lot of money involved here and a lot of people care about this but I am just not among their numbers. In fact it somewhat depresses me that sports is so important it outranks other world news that affects people far more.  But I know John loves soccer so I guess I couldn't expect any less. 

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FIFA's antics do affect people on a large scale. It's not just about the game. It's about what all of that money and all of that corruption have done to countries who do not have the infrastructure to support a tournament of that scale. Qatar is problematic for reasons far more than just the fact that it's too hot to play there in the summer... it's everything else as well.

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FIFA's antics do affect people on a large scale. It's not just about the game. It's about what all of that money and all of that corruption have done to countries who do not have the infrastructure to support a tournament of that scale. Qatar is problematic for reasons far more than just the fact that it's too hot to play there in the summer... it's everything else as well.

Yeah, and public financing of stadium projects is like the one kind of infrastructure spending we still do in this country.  Because free money for billionaires.

 

And it has about the same effect in terms of public good as all those empty arenas in Brazil have.

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First time I've seen the show, but I liked it very much.  I thought he made good points about the various topics, in a very entertaining way.  I'm a casual sports fan, but there's been so much coverage of the FIFA thing even I was aware of most of what he presented about it, but I still liked how he did it.  I'm know I'm pretty superficial (autocorrected to "spermicidal," ha ha)  but the Fifi/Fifa just made me laugh.  Rip Torn (I didn't even know he exists) was pretty funny, even apart from the Hitler thing.

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Rip Torn (I didn't even know he exists) was pretty funny, even apart from the Hitler thing.

Rip Taylor, not Rip Torn.  Rip Torn is a veteran character actor.  I didn't realize Rip Taylor was still alive, and his schtick was old even when it was new. 

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Soccer affects billions of people. For many, it's their sole way out of poverty. Couple that with the large scale corruption and how Qatar is literally killing people over it. I'd say this is far than just a sports story.

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Soccer affects billions of people. For many, it's their sole way out of poverty. Couple that with the large scale corruption and how Qatar is literally killing people over it. I'd say this is far than just a sports story.

And let's not forget that Brazil changed their laws regarding drinking at football games b/c of Budweiser putting pressure on FIFA and FIFA passing along the pressure to lawmakers there.

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I watch the occasional soccer game, even if I'm not the biggest sports fan of all time (okay, understatement).  However, in this instance, it really has next to nothing to do with the sport in question, you know?  I mean, if it isn't outright human-trafficking and slavery to build a stadium that will literally cost thousands of people their actual lives to build, then it is a very, very close cousin of slavery.  An Appalachian Mountain First Cousin even.   WTF?  I thought only pharaohs could order people to their deaths in the name of construction.  

 

Some butt munch with a luxury apartment for his cats, upon which he pays no taxes, ordering people to slave to actual death (among other grievous crimes against the sport, the fans, the populace and I'm going to go ahead and rope in the entire Earth on it all, because HOLY SHIT) is worthy of some extended outrage.  

I don't really care about the sport and agree that John got a tiny bit carried away with his Budweiser rant (dude, at some point you're insulting the people who drink that stuff and someone actually does) , but a bunch of completely corrupt individuals grinding human beings into the actual dust of the desert seems like it warranted an extended segment.  

 

Did I mention the HOLY SHIT of it all?   Also, thank you Ireland!  

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(edited)

I guess I'm the only one in the world who doesn't give a damn about FIFA, World Cup Soccer, or sports in general, so I was bored with the main story. I know there's a lot of money involved here and a lot of people care about this but I am just not among their numbers. In fact it somewhat depresses me that sports is so important it outranks other world news that affects people far more.  But I know John loves soccer so I guess I couldn't expect any less.

But it's not that irrelevant when many many BILLIONS of dollars are involved, as well as a lot of fairly direct human suffering from FIFA's actions.  

 

The money is on such an epic scale that a lot of death has crawled around the corners of their scandals.

 

Soccer affects billions of people. For many, it's their sole way out of poverty. Couple that with the large scale corruption and how Qatar is literally killing people over it. I'd say this is far than just a sports story.

Also the "paved paradise and put in a parking lot" thing in Brazil is not just a one-liner.  FIFA helped engineer an epic amount of misery there. Edited by Kromm
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Soccer affects billions of people.

 

And that's . . . kind of my point. It shouldn't. It's not oil. It's not water. It's not any kind of commodity. The importance of sports in this world is what I find so depressing. Think of where all those billions and billions of dollars could go if they weren't invested in sports.

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(edited)

I wonder when Sepp Blatter should pass away, if John and Andy will bestow upon him a "Fuck Eulogy"™ on The Bugle.  Still surprised that they didn't for Maggie Thatcher.

 

Edited by Fukui San
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And that's . . . kind of my point. It shouldn't. It's not oil. It's not water. It's not any kind of commodity. The importance of sports in this world is what I find so depressing. Think of where all those billions and billions of dollars could go if they weren't invested in sports.

If wishes were horses, we'd have a ranch the size of Jupiter.

 

I mean it's all well and good to say that soccer shouldn't be that important, but we have to deal with the reality that people worldwide, billions and billions of people, act like it is.  And we can't wish that away, or the influence they give FIFA on very real world things created from that wrongly assigned importance.

 

Now GallBlatter stepping down?  It's got to be because something was being held back on him--some direct proof of his corruption--and after he won they called ol' Blatter up and gave him the option to just leave and spare the extra humiliation.  Someone figured it would go down easier this way and convinced him.

And the latest?  It looks like his replacement won't even be voted on for anything from 6 to 9 months.

Hee.  And here's the "viral" image of Blatter that's going around now.

 

_83383606_blatterimage.jpg

 

If you don't get it.. look at it and think about it!

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And that's . . . kind of my point. It shouldn't. It's not oil. It's not water. It's not any kind of commodity. The importance of sports in this world is what I find so depressing. Think of where all those billions and billions of dollars could go if they weren't invested in sports.

 

This game in particular is a love shared by many cultures, many of which are poor and in underdeveloped countries. Soccer/Football is a religion for many people around the world. It's one of the most widely played sports because it is cheap. Sadly, it is one of the few games many poor children can play growing up. For better or worse, it is big entertainment for billions of people. People who have never owned a TV remember seeing games growing up when they got one or in shared settings. It's part of the cultural fabric.

 

Similar to corruption in the religion, when there is passion, belief, others will try to profit and exploit it. The fact that people are dying in Qatar at a ridiculous rate because of the corruption reinforces how something had to be done.

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This game in particular is a love shared by many cultures, many of which are poor and in underdeveloped countries. Soccer/Football is a religion for many people around the world. It's one of the most widely played sports because it is cheap. Sadly, it is one of the few games many poor children can play growing up. For better or worse, it is big entertainment for billions of people. People who have never owned a TV remember seeing games growing up when they got one or in shared settings. It's part of the cultural fabric.

 

Similar to corruption in the religion, when there is passion, belief, others will try to profit and exploit it. The fact that people are dying in Qatar at a ridiculous rate because of the corruption reinforces how something had to be done.

So true.  You mention "cultural fabric" - I know you don't mean this, but: you don't even need a ball to play: you can create your own with a well filled t-shirt, tied securely.

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De-lurking to add to the chorus of those celebrating Blatter's resignation/emphasizing the importance of this issue for non-sports fans.

 

And (hopefully) beginning the chorus of USAmericans who knew that "Nebraska" was South Dakota :-P

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How did it make that much?  Did all of the U.S. based FIFA employees visit?

A few years ago, there was a documentary film called "Cinemania" about a small group of New Yorkers who try to see every single movie that plays in the Big Apple. Basically they spend their entire lives going from one film to another. I suspect that "United Passions" was seen only by (a) eccentric diehards like the people profiled in "Cinemania" and (b) hatewatchers.

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A few years ago, there was a documentary film called "Cinemania" about a small group of New Yorkers who try to see every single movie that plays in the Big Apple. Basically they spend their entire lives going from one film to another. I suspect that "United Passions" was seen only by (a) eccentric diehards like the people profiled in "Cinemania" and (b) hatewatchers.

 

In a news report about the film's opening day, they went to the one cinema in NYC playing it and one man was jocularly asking the ticket seller, "Am I the only one seeing this movie?" to which the latter replied in the affirmative. No idea what he thought, but having watched that trailer, maybe he took the time to nap.

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$607 is approximately 50 people, assuming a typical ticket price of $12. Or around 71 people for some bargain basement average ticket cost of around $8.50.  Either way, figuring a very conservative 3 daily showings at 10 theaters over a Friday, Saturday, Sunday (so lets say 90 showings--although frankly those theaters could have had 4 or 5 showings, so we could just as easily say as much as 150), 71 people is probably about the same number of people who might smack down some money and walk into it randomly if they were just walking into whichever movie was starting soonest.

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GENEVA (AP) — FIFA acknowledged Wednesday that past World Cups were awarded based on bribes, and the organization wants U.S. prosecutors to give it "tens of millions of dollars" seized from former FIFA officials who skimmed cash from broadcasting rights.

 

[...]

 

FIFA claims it is the victim of corrupt individuals, despite widespread criticism that bribe-taking was embedded in its culture in the presidencies of Joao Havelange and Sepp Blatter, who was forced from office after 17 years by the current scandal.

 

[...]

 

"FIFA has become notable for the defendants' bribery and corruption, not its many good works," lawyers for soccer's world body state in the claim. "FIFA is entitled to restitution for this harm to its business relationships, reputation and intangible property."

 

 

http://bigstory.ap.org/d6b109be578c49b7bcf8d542daf5c158

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