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"The Daily Show": Week of 5/26/15


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5/26: Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY & author – promoting book “Taking a Stand: Moving Beyond Partisan Politics to Unite America”
5/27: Rosabeth Moss Kanter (author – promoting book “Move: Putting America's Infrastructure Back in the Lead”)
5/28: Matt Harvey (pitcher for the New York Mets)

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Who better to unite Americans than an ignorant two-faced divider like Rand Paul?[/sarcasm] I hope Jon continues his fresh-out-of-fucks approach since announcing his stepping down as host to verbally slap this disdainful, condescending coloscopybag.

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(edited)

Eh. I can handle Rand Paul out of any Republican, especially those cramped in the Clown Campaign Car. Plucking a mellow, ignorant man like him will be a nice cleanser for Jonny-bun. 

 

5/27: Rosabeth Moss Kanter (author – promoting book “Move: Putting America's Infrastructure Back in the Lead”)

 

Just hearing "infrastructure" reminds me of the piece Ollie-Scone did along with the parodied disaster movie trailer, so it's refreshing there's someone else who is concerned about it's lack of attention and discuss it outside premium cable (and the Internet).

 

*On second thought, I regret what I'd said about Rand. I thought it was his FATHER, Ron, having the interview. Now HE'S the mellow one. I wish I could say that about his son but I did and I still regret it. (facepalm)

Edited by The Luvly Junkie
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Victor, don't be insulting those bags.

 

I'm so glad Jon is back, I don't care who he has on. Wonder if he'll acknowledge the veterans program that got the press over the weekend? It's hard to love you more, Jon, but apparently, you'd like me to still work on that.

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I would like to point out (though I really shouldn't have to, for fuck's sake), that there is a material difference in printing offensive/provocative slogans on a t-shirt and baking a wedding cake (which although ornate, generally lacks words and pictures) for a gay couple. It is the difference between product and client. Shorter: stfu, Rand.

 

At least I got a good couple of minutes of Jon's Lindsay Graham. That's always a treat.

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The best joke on last night's episode is that apparently Rand Paul thinks we have a neighborhood called "9/11" in New York City.

 

Seriously, he must have said "building a mosque near 9/11" three or four times.

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How many days does Congress actually work? Who gets a week off for Memorial day? The law expires on June 1st, so you're going to come back on the 31st. Ok. Glad it's so important.

 

Ugh. This cake issue has nothing to do with religion because we don't base the rule of law from a religious text. You get your business license, you follow the law and the law says you can't discriminate. Comparing that to making t shirts is disingenuous, misleading, or willfully ignorant.

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there is a material difference in printing offensive/provocative slogans on a t-shirt and baking a wedding cake

Yes, a better comparison would be the refusal to sell a t'shirt to a gay person, if you are in the t'shirt-selling business already.

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I still can't figure out how that  logic of Paul's got him to the point that he thinks he & Jon agree on big government intrusion.   I was happy that Jon was as confused as I was.  

 

I was less confused by Matthew McConaughey's "time is a flat circle" stuff on True Detective. 

 

Have any of you been to that new pizza place near 9/11?  We went there last week while we were on vacation in NYC. It's great! 

 

I'd love to hear why Muslims are the same as the Klan.  Some people don't like Hitler, it's just like hating Rand Paul. 

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Did Rand Paul actually compare gay marriage to the KKK and Muslim terrorists? I know he tried to back-pedal like crazy but geez, what an example. The scary thing about Rand Paul is that he (usually) does a fairly good job of acting like a reasonable moderate, until he starts falling back on his usual "let the markets decide" garbage. The less scary thing is that he doesn't have a shot in hell of getting the Republican nomination. On second thought maybe that's more scary since I shudder to think who will.

 

I always get a kick out of Jon doing Lindsday Graham. "I do de-clah-uh!"

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The scary thing about Rand Paul is that he (usually) does a fairly good job of acting like a reasonable moderate,

 

The great Charlie Pierce contends that RP sounds reasonable for exactly 5 minutes, but at 5:01.01, the wheels come off. You can set your watch by it!

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The great Charlie Pierce contends that RP sounds reasonable for exactly 5 minutes, but at 5:01.01, the wheels come off. You can set your watch by it!

 

Exactly!!  When he first started talking, I was like "yeah okay he's not completely insane, and then at 5:01:01, I realized if you look up batshit crazy in the dictionary, his picture is right there, along with Lindsay Graham, Huckabee, Cruz, Santorum, etc. 

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The only thing about liberty and freedom Rand Paul believes in is the right for people to act out as bigoted and douchey as they want without any repercussions. He's no different from any other Republican in the field. Why anyone thinks he's different and reasonable is beyond me.

 

I hope Ollie's coverage of the FIFA scandal is better than Jon's. He officially lost me at the Rachel. FIFA can say they won't change World Cup venues for Qatar and Russia, but they did for the 1986 WC when they gave it to Mexico after Columbia economic and social problems made it too much for them to host it, so the U.S. still has a chance for it. And I would love to see FIFA head Sepp Blather in handcuffs and wearing an orange jumpsuit, the corrupt fat bastard.

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I always get a kick out of Jon doing Lindsday Graham. "I do de-clah-uh!"

 

Oh, me too.  I was just bemoaning the fact that I'll have to endure Graham being a presidential candidate without Jon being around to do his impression.  It's up there with McConnell as a turtle and Cheney as the Penguin.

 

Rand Paul's references to 9/11 as a place made we want to slap him silly.  He did once manage to mumble the word "site" at the end so, at some level, he seems to know how wrong it is.

 

I wish people like Jon would start reminding others that the 1st Amendment has to do with a citizen's right to speak out against government.  It doesn't mean everyone has to let bigoted douchebags say hateful things with no consequences.

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How many days does Congress actually work? Who gets a week off for Memorial day? The law expires on June 1st, so you're going to come back on the 31st. Ok. Glad it's so important.

 

It depends on who is in charge but when Republicans took the house in 2010 they cut back the House's work schedule drastically, IIRC, because if you campaigned on less government then taking a long vacation is living up to your campaign promises.

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I am generally happy to not be allergic to the pollens of spring (I get my sneeze on in the fall), what with the Pollen Apocalypse every year.  Wouldn't it be nice if any of the news outlets would occasionally link climate change to pollen instead of just making up new disaster terms?

 

Just spent some time in Copenhagen, where the mass transit is plentiful, cheap, and awesome. And then, if you're not on a train, you're on a bike. In an actual bike lane. We USAians should be ashamed.

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It's the same in Holland. I spent my childhood there, and my mom looks back with some horror at where she let me and my brothers go. But there are separate bike lanes and a whole acceptance in general of biking as a legit form of transportation.

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because if you campaigned on less government then taking a long vacation is living up to your campaign promises

 

And yet Republicans complain about lazy people living off the government teat...

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FIFA's president or whatever is named Sepp Blatter. I laugh every time because it sounds so made up, like a character in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

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Have the Mets been guests on TDS in the past? The only one I know for sure to be interviewed in the past was R.A. Dickey, back when he was promoting his book. It's fun to see Jon get a little antsy about Matt Harvey, because he's the closest to Dwight Gooden circa 1984-85 that we can get. The mini police barricades around the arm were a nice touch.

 

I pointed out to my mother that Jon has a great Lindsey Graham impression, and then he refuses to go hog-wild on it. In other news, I don't think Donald Trump has the balls to run for any office.

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If losers like Donald Trump, Lindsey Graham, Rick Santorum, and George Pataki can keep Jon from stepping down in early August, then I say more power to their pathetic selves. And the idea that Jon is like everybody else in the media when it comes to talking about Bernie Sanders should be put to bed with a 100% proof alcohol consumed for sleeping. It's clear Jon has a lot of respect for Sanders ideas, even though the guy could make a small investment in hair products for himself.

 

Nice that Matt Harvey gave Jon a personalized Mets jersey, but I skimmed through the entire interview because only die in the wool Mets fans, like Jon, would care to watch this.


Have the Mets been guests on TDS in the past? The only one I know for sure to be interviewed in the past was R.A. Dickey, back when he was promoting his book.

 

Ron Darling and Mike Piazza are two that come to mind. But, as I've stated, only die in the wool Mets fans, like Jon, would care about this.

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I watched very carefully while Jon was holding up the jersey to see if he suddenly sprouted wood. It would not have surprised me, let's just say that. But it appeared as if he was, um, contained.

 

I thought the wee police barricade thingies were adorable, and I want some.

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I love it when Mets players come on -- although current players are less fun because they have to be all classy and stone-faced about everything. But it's always fun watching Jon get giddy. 

 

I keep wondering if maybe Pataki is a good thing for the Republicans. Sure, he's not well-known, but he's also not as loathed or extremist as most everyone else in the field so far. But then I remember that he has utterly no charisma, and I breathe easy.

 

I'm always shocked when reminded that Sanders is as young as he is.

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Trump will never officially run for president because there are too many rules. It's easier to be "considering a run," because then he gets the attention he so desperately craves. Ugh. Horrible short-fingered vulgarian. 

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I don't understand Hilary's line about coloring her hair.

 

I don't either.  I heard something about O'Malley making a comment about her age, so maybe that was it.  I do wish she'd stop talking with whatever the local accent is.  It's so transparent. 

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I keep wondering if maybe Pataki is a good thing for the Republicans. Sure, he's not well-known, but he's also not as loathed or extremist as most everyone else in the field so far. But then I remember that he has utterly no charisma, and I breathe easy.

George Pataki is the stupid douche that said, during the 2004 Republican convention, that Osama Bin Laden made a huge mistake in attacking America because George W. Bush was the president and that he was going to hunt him down and give him justice. Then whined like a spoiled, bratty child in saying that Barack Obama was bragging about hunting down Bin Laden and giving him justice - the very thing he said Bush would do but never bothered carrying out - and that he was shaming and disgracing the office of the presidency for doing so. Jon was the one who brought both things up.

 

That in itself should disqualify stupid douche George Pataki from ever running for ANYTHING ever again.

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George Pataki is the stupid douche that said, during the 2004 Republican convention, that Osama Bin Laden made a huge mistake in attacking America because George W. Bush was the president and that he was going to hunt him down and give him justice. Then whined like a spoiled, bratty child in saying that Barack Obama was bragging about hunting down Bin Laden and giving him justice - the very thing he said Bush would do but never bothered carrying out - and that he was shaming and disgracing the office of the presidency for doing so. Jon was the one who brought both things up.

 

That in itself should disqualify stupid douche George Pataki from ever running for ANYTHING ever again.

These are exactly the things that would likely make him a good Republican candidate.

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(edited)

These are exactly the things that would likely make him a good Republican candidate.

 

Except, IIRC, he's for abortion, gun control (I was younger when he was governor so really didn't pay attention to this - but I think he put out some pretty strict gun control laws), gay marriage, climate change efforts by the private sector. Also the fact that unless you're a New Yorker, you probably don't really know him since he's been out of politics for awhile. I liken him to Huntsman from 2012. Probably a pretty moderate Conservative who would actually be a good candidate, but has no chance at all because the base has shifted further right.

 

I also don't get the Hilary hair coloring line from the MoZ. She's ok with her age?

Edited by solotrek
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Except, IIRC, he's for abortion, gun control (I was younger when he was governor so really didn't pay attention to this - but I think he put out some pretty strict gun control laws), gay marriage, climate change efforts by the private sector. Also the fact that unless you're a New Yorker, you probably don't really know him since he's been out of politics for awhile. I liken him to Huntsman from 2012. Probably a pretty moderate Conservative who would actually be a good candidate, but has no chance at all because the base has shifted further right.

Oh, I totally agree -- he'd probably lose the primary because he's too middle-of-the-road on social issues. But that's also the very reason he'd be more likely than the other candidates to actually be competitive in the General Election. But again, the base is too extremist and he's too un-charismatic. Otherwise he'd actually make me nervous as a threat.

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I also don't get the Hilary hair-coloring line from the MoZ

 

The MoZ really could have used the set-up:

“All of our presidents come into office looking so vigorous,” Clinton said at a campaign stop in South Carolina. “Then we watch them. They grow grayer and grayer and by the time they leave? They’re as white as the building they live in.”

“Now I may not be the youngest candidate in the race,” Clinton continued, building slowly to her punch line and employing a Southern drawl. “But I have one big advantage: I’ve been coloring my hair for years.”

 

 

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I do wish she'd stop talking with whatever the local accent is.

 

Some people have a natural tendency to pick up accents, but I agree that they're going with it pretty deliberately.  As pandering goes, fairly harmless -- unless she gets it wrong.

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A good Republican candidate, probably. President of the United States of America, no way.

You'll get no argument from me there. He was my governor for 100 years, I was glad to be free of him.

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Clinton is actually from the south (Arkansas) so I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt that when she's around Southerners, her southern accent sometimes kicks in. I know this happens with people who have "lost" their original accents because I've seen it. Phil Keoghen (Amazing Race), for example, has lost or stifled most of his New Zealand accent but when the race went to New Zealand and he had his father on the finish mat, he slipped into such a heavy New Zealand accent I could barely understand him.

 

Also I'd like to believe Clinton isn't stupid enough to pander so obviously when she knows Fox News will be all over that shit.

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That happens to me with my New England accent. I didn't think Clinton sounded that southern. 

 

I can't believe that CF and LG are so tone deaf as to say such blatantly racist things. I can't imagine their teams wouldn't point that out. 

 

In other news, I don't think Donald Trump has the balls to run for any office.

 

Most of the republican candidates seem to be running to promote their brands. I think it's rather obvious. I don't think Sanders thinks he would seriously be considered either, but seems more to want to inject policy discussions into the landscape.

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Clinton is actually from the south (Arkansas) so I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt that when she's around Southerners, her southern accent sometimes kicks in.

She's actually from Illinois -- didn't relocate to Arkansas till after law school.

 

That said, I don't think it was that strong, and you're right that sometimes you do kind of "catch" a little bit of an accent when you're around people with one. I am not from there but I went to college in the Deep South -- only lived there 3 years but when I'm around Southerners I get a bit of a lilt.

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Thanks for the info on where Hilary's hair coloring comment came from, attica. Now I understand.

 

I remember when my English mother, who moved to the US in the 1950s, would come back from a trip to England and had a more pronounced accent. It really bugged me as a child. But I realize it's something that happens to many people when they revisit old stomping grounds. Also, I think it's pretty natural to change your way of talking to match those you're talking to. When a politician does it, it comes across as pandering, but I think it's natural and harmless.

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I subconsciously adopt accents very quickly, and I travel a fair bit, so I've spent my life making a concerted effort to stifle that tendency lest people think I'm mocking them.  So I instinctually cringe when someone is criticized for affecting an accent; they may be, and if it seems they are I'll eye roll with the best of them, but without evidence of affectation I give the benefit of the doubt due to my own experience.

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