Parental Units And Other Adults Of Note

[SMama]

Just saw this on FJ and thought some may be interested.

 

http://www.newschannel5.com/news/local-news/reports-say-toby-willis-allegedly-raped-female-family-member

[goldensglitter]

So obviously there must be something to all of this.  Brenda's statement sure did not provide any support for her husband.  What a shame for the victim and the Willis family.

[SMama]

FWIW the identifying of a female family member made me feel for the victim. This ugly scenario already played out with the Duggars and the girls bore the brunt of the humiliation. No victim should ever have to feel such pain.

[BetyBee]

Wow.  How awful for the victim and for the family.  I agree that Brenda's statement is not in any way supportive of her husband.  Good!  

[maraleia]

I wonder if Brenda will enroll her school aged kids in school after all of this.

[zxy556575]

Ugh, ugh, ugh. So gutwrenching and life-destroying for Brenda and the kids. Has to be either Jenny or Jet.

Wasn't Toby taken into custody without bail?

Authorities confirmed Willis was told he was not allowed to go around his biological children or his wife. Willis has been scheduled to appear in court for a preliminary hearing and a bond hearing on Wednesday, September 21.

[ChiCricket]

 The tragedy with the Willis kids sent Illinois Governor Ryan to prison for 5 years.     So this news about Toby has been on our Chicago stations a lot in the last three days.  Every single newscast has had it.

(WHAT A CREEP)

[SMama]

When a parent is accused of sexual abuse they are not permitted to be around any children, including their own. Thus a female relative could be a niece not necessarily his daughters. Not that it makes it any less disgusting.

One of the most amazing things I've ever done professionally is forensic interviewing. In cases like this all children under eighteen are interviewed by a forensic interviewer (in CA a CPS social worker), the adults are interviewed by LE.

The size of this family is going to make the process take longer than usual.

I do wonder what happens now since Brenda in her THs was all about patriarchy, teaching ballroom dancing because it's about men leading and women following, God created man and women for different roles. OK I have to stop or I'm going to hurl.  Is she now under her father in law's "umbrella of protection"?

[Misslindsey]

58 minutes ago, SMama said:

I do wonder what happens now since Brenda in her THs was all about patriarchy, teaching ballroom dancing because it's about men leading and women following, God created man and women for different roles. OK I have to stop or I'm going to hurl.  Is she now under her father in law's "umbrella of protection"?

Was Brenda raised with those sort of views/religion? I feel like they did talk about her background, but cannot remember really anything about it. Also, was it Brenda or Toby's parents that had the condo that they were going to stay at during the mold infestation? Was it one of their parents or was it some other relative?

[Loves2Dance]

1 hour ago, SMama said:

When a parent is accused of sexual abuse they are not permitted to be around any children, including their own. Thus a female relative could be a niece not necessarily his daughters. Not that it makes it any less disgusting.

One of the most amazing things I've ever done professionally is forensic interviewing. In cases like this all children under eighteen are interviewed by a forensic interviewer (in CA a CPS social worker), the adults are interviewed by LE.

The size of this family is going to make the process take longer than usual.

I do wonder what happens now since Brenda in her THs was all about patriarchy, teaching ballroom dancing because it's about men leading and women following, God created man and women for different roles. OK I have to stop or I'm going to hurl.  Is she now under her father in law's "umbrella of protection"?

I thought Toby's father was already deceased?

 

Gotta say, definitely sounds like something absolutely did happen and Brenda isn't standing by her man's side. Hopefully she has access to enough of the money and cut and run with the kids. Maybe the older kids can get into college---unlike the Duggars, the Willis children were actually homeschooled to the point where they could hang at school---and the younger ones can enjoy some more mom time. Brenda's dislikes public schools for much of the same reason I do so I have no hate for her not wanting to use them. 

[zxy556575]

In one way it's the least of their problems but in another it isn't since it's partly their livelihood, but I don't see how the band can continue unless Toby is found not guilty. Even though the kids did nothing wrong, how could fans enjoy their concerts with that kind of ugly blot hanging over the family? I'd just be watching and feeling heartsick for them.

But the group isn't my cup of musical tea so maybe I'm way off.

[SMama]

I thought Brenda or Toby said the condo belonged to his parents, that is why I assumed he is still alive. 

She said that she regretted not having music and dancing at their wedding, and it is why they wanted the kids to learn music and dance. Perhaps I wrongly assumed they were fundie due to the no dancing and no music.

Considering her THs I'm very impressed by her statement, and hope she remains strong and pays for the therapy they will certainly need. 

[becca3891]

3 hours ago, Misslindsey said:

 

2 hours ago, lordonia said:

 

1 hour ago, SMama said:

I thought Brenda or Toby said the condo belonged to his parents, that is why I assumed he is still alive. 

She said that she regretted not having music and dancing at their wedding, and it is why they wanted the kids to learn music and dance. Perhaps I wrongly assumed they were fundie due to the no dancing and no music.

Considering her THs I'm very impressed by her statement, and hope she remains strong and pays for the therapy they will certainly need. 

Oh yes, they're fundie as most people define it. They are bible literalists, born again, believe in evangelizing, home school, home church, and believe wives are to submit to their husbands. They do wear pants and dance but they're fundie through and through.

They all must be shocked, or at least I assume so. Obviously the victim has been carrying this weight around for 12 years, which is heartbreaking. And I wonder if anyone else knew. I certainly hope Brenda had no idea, and didn't turn a blind eye to anything. I am pleased that the victim is being believed and supported by her family. 

[Loves2Dance]

The Willis Clan Facebook page; which had been up until this point, disappeared yesterday. It was the only remaining social media platform not to disappear overnight. 

[Whyyouneedaname]

I think I read somewhere that he was hitchhiking to Kentucky and authorities were wanting to talk to the ones that may have picked him up. That made me believe that Brenda was believing whoever had reported this. So sad.

[ShaNaeNae]

I just can't even imagine what Brenda must be going through. I mean when did she know? Did he tell her before he went to hitchhike? I'm guessing no, otherwise he might have taken one of the families vehicles or maybe he asked her to drive him and she said "fuck no (in a fundie kinda way), you can hitch-fucking-hike (again, in a fundie kinda way)" so he did. 

But really, I can't imagine being with someone 30 years, build a life together with 12 kids only for him to be gone, and be the devil in disguise. He didn't just touch a kid, he *raped* a child. Awful. 

Edited September 15, 2016 by ShaNaeNae

[zxy556575]

I saw this trailer for the upcoming third season of The Fall and for a second thought Jamie Dornan was Toby's mug shot!

 

[Sew Sumi]

On 9/14/2016 at 5:16 PM, lordonia said:

Ugh, ugh, ugh. So gutwrenching and life-destroying for Brenda and the kids. Has to be either Jenny or Jet.

Wasn't Toby taken into custody without bail?

Authorities confirmed Willis was told he was not allowed to go around his biological children or his wife. Willis has been scheduled to appear in court for a preliminary hearing and a bond hearing on Wednesday, September 21.

Not necessarily. They just identified the victim as a "female relative." It could be a cousin, niece, etc. But yes, the two girls you mentioned are in the right age range. However, we should really not speculate any further. Let the victim come forward, should she choose to. It's not our place to out her. 

[Lemur]

On 9/13/2016 at 8:31 PM, merriebreeze said:

Is his daughter the (alleged) victim?

"Nashville’s Newschannel5 reported Wednesday night that Willis had allegedly been charged with raping a family member. It said the family member had been 'removed by Willis from her bed and raped.' It also reported that 'authorities confirmed Willis was not allowed to go around his biological children or his wife.'"

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/09/14/the-willis-clan-no-more-a-christian-family-band-comes-apart-amid-child-rape-allegations.html

I just can't with these people.  

[Whyyouneedaname]

8 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

Not necessarily. They just identified the victim as a "female relative." It could be a cousin, niece, etc. But yes, the two girls you mentioned are in the right age range. However, we should really not speculate any further. Let the victim come forward, should she choose to. It's not our place to out her. 

Uh, and just last year..well in tv time, they were all left alone with him while she went to New York with Jess & Jair. I bet her mind is reeling 90 to nothing, and with good reason. 

[Loves2Dance]

10 hours ago, Whyyouneedaname said:

Uh, and just last year..well in tv time, they were all left alone with him while she went to New York with Jess & Jair. I bet her mind is reeling 90 to nothing, and with good reason. 

I'm strongly planted in the 'it wasn't one of his children' sides just given the fact that I don't think it would have gotten by Brenda if it had AND the timeline doesn't match up with any of the older children who could possibly be beyond a thing now. 

That said, if this happened 12 years ago and he wasn't caught, there is a chance that more stories may surface from other victims. 

[crazycatlady58]

On 9/16/2016 at 7:12 PM, Loves2Dance said:

I'm strongly planted in the 'it wasn't one of his children' sides just given the fact that I don't think it would have gotten by Brenda if it had AND the timeline doesn't match up with any of the older children who could possibly be beyond a thing now. 

That said, if this happened 12 years ago and he wasn't caught, there is a chance that more stories may surface from other victims. 

I agree with you, while Brenda belives in being a submissive wive, she loves her kids and  I think she would have his head on a platter  if he touched  one of her  kids in a wrong  way. Just because  you are fundie does  not mean you let your  child be raped.

[maraleia]

After this revelation and the fact that Brenda was a submissive wife I think they had a Christian Domestic Discipline relationship.

[Loves2Dance]

9 minutes ago, maraleia said:

After this revelation and the fact that Brenda was a submissive wife I think they had a Christian Domestic Discipline relationship.

I doubt it. 

[zxy556575]

Do most pedophiles and rapists do it just once and quit? Not normally. I don't think Toby drinks (but maybe that will come out, too) so it wouldn't seem to be one crime done while in a drunken or drugged stupor. I have a feeling that there will be more accusations coming.

[becca3891]

On 9/13/2016 at 0:48 AM, CarolMK said:

Does anyone know if the family will go on performing or is this all completely on hold now? He's being held without bail. Trial could take quite awhile. Toby Willis could end up in prison for a number of years if the charges are true. Will the family be able to function without him? I've always wondered what would happen in families that are run on patriarchy, if something happened to the father, how would the rest of them survive.

Thankfully, although they're patriarchal as far as believing in wifely submission, Brenda is no ignorant doormat. She's their band manager already and I think she's fully capable of running the family on her own, particularly since so many of the 12 children are already capable teens and adults. 

On 9/13/2016 at 8:31 PM, merriebreeze said:

 

Edited September 17, 2016 by becca3891

[BetyBee]

12 hours ago, Loves2Dance said:

I'm strongly planted in the 'it wasn't one of his children' sides just given the fact that I don't think it would have gotten by Brenda if it had AND the timeline doesn't match up with any of the older children who could possibly be beyond a thing now. 

That said, if this happened 12 years ago and he wasn't caught, there is a chance that more stories may surface from other victims. 

I think it's unlikely that a pedophile would look past all those nearby youngsters.  It's tragic no matter who his victims are.  Sadly, I think his own children would be more likely to keep the secret.  

[SongbirdHollow]

17 hours ago, maraleia said:

After this revelation and the fact that Brenda was a submissive wife I think they had a Christian Domestic Discipline relationship.

When will I learn not to google these things? 

[maraleia]

45 minutes ago, SongbirdHollow said:

When will I learn not to google these things? 

That's an entire world I've been fascinated/horrified about for years. Hope you weren't scarred too much.

[Loves2Dance]

9 hours ago, BetyBee said:

I think it's unlikely that a pedophile would look past all those nearby youngsters.  It's tragic no matter who his victims are.  Sadly, I think his own children would be more likely to keep the secret.  

IF he turns out to be a serial rapist, the least surprising aspect would be passing by his children. It's not uncommon for these individuals to build a wall up between themselves and their immediate families to continue doing what they're doing while believing they can also be 'normal'. There are a few serial killers who also fit this bill and while these crimes are very different, the offenders personality traits are often quite similar. 

15 hours ago, becca3891 said:

Thankfully, although they're patriarchal as far as believing in wifely submission, Brenda is no ignorant doormat. She's their band manager already and I think she's fully capable of running the family on her own, particularly since so many of the 12 children are already capable teens and adults. 

Possible. Unlikely, but possible. 

[SongbirdHollow]

2 hours ago, maraleia said:

That's an entire world I've been fascinated/horrified about for years. Hope you weren't scarred too much.

I nope'd out of there pretty quick and deleted my browser history. I'm in an irritable mood today and didn't need to get worked up about it. Perhaps another day.

[zxy556575]

6 hours ago, SongbirdHollow said:

When will I learn not to google these things? 

If anybody else is curious, I specifically avoided the sites devoted to it and found this small blurb in wiki. The name is pretty self-explanatory.

There is a subculture called "Christian Domestic Discipline" that promotes corporal punishment of wives by husbands. While its advocates appeal to the Bible to support their views, the movement has also been described as a form of S&M and there is a FetLife page devoted to it.

I then had to look up FetLife, which is also what you'd think: A social networking website that serves people interested in BDSM, fetishism, and kink.

[becca3891]

On 9/16/2016 at 10:09 PM, maraleia said:

7 hours ago, lordonia said:

If anybody else is curious, I specifically avoided the sites devoted to it and found this small blurb in wiki. The name is pretty self-explanatory.

There is a subculture called "Christian Domestic Discipline" that promotes corporal punishment of wives by husbands. While its advocates appeal to the Bible to support their views, the movement has also been described as a form of S&M and there is a FetLife page devoted to it.

I then had to look up FetLife, which is also what you'd think: A social networking website that serves people interested in BDSM, fetishism, and kink.

This is where things get tricky and, in my opinion, troublesome. There's a difference between a fetish and a controlling, abusive relationship and I think there's a danger of blurring lines. 50 Shades of Grey makes me uneasy, not because I'm a prude, but because the emotional side of their relationship is so toxic and male-controlled. No surprise that it was written as Twilight fan fiction originally, as it has the same unhealthy pattern as those books. So, if both people think it's fun for the woman to get spanked, that's great, but not if he's just getting off on her pain and she's genuinely miserable.

11 hours ago, Loves2Dance said:

IF he turns out to be a serial rapist, the least surprising aspect would be passing by his children. It's not uncommon for these individuals to build a wall up between

[SongbirdHollow]

3 hours ago, becca3891 said:

There's a difference between a fetish and a controlling, abusive relationship

I'm pretty sure CDD is both, despite all their protestations that it's not erotic at all. 

 

3 hours ago, becca3891 said:

So, if both people think it's fun for the woman to get spanked, that's great, but not if he's just getting off on her pain and she's genuinely miserable.

I'm afraid the women involved in this don't have the autonomy to consent.

[becca3891]

6 hours ago, SongbirdHollow said:

I'm pretty sure CDD is both, despite all their protestations that it's not erotic at all. 

 

I'm afraid the women involved in this don't have the autonomy to consent.

Believe me, this concept makes me very uneasy. I spent a short time reading about it last night and their big claim to fame is that most of the time, the disciplinary relationship is initiated by the wife. I'm not quite sure if I believe them, but I might. A woman who grew up being abused by a controlling father, and who had been brainwashed about male superiority, might indeed feel lost without that presence in her life, as toxic as it is. 

Even the fetish has always disturbed me. If you constantly feel the need to control and physically hurt someone, and it excites you sexually, I'm sorry, but in my opinion, it isn't healthy. I know many in the BDSM community would call me a closed-minded prude for saying so, but in my opinion, there simply isn't a level playing field in this area -- female domination does exist, but in much smaller numbers, and I think that's telling. The majority of men who get off on control would never allow themselves to be controlled.

Toby and Brenda have always made such a production about their beliefs regarding gender roles and wifely submission, so who knows? I suspect it's not a common lifestyle, but you never know. 

[ChiCricket]

On 9/13/2016 at 9:19 AM, ChiCricket said:

 

2 minutes ago, ChiCricket said:

On 9/13/2016 at 9:19 AM, ChiCricket said:

 

Edited September 26, 2016 by ChiCricket
.

[Whyyouneedaname]

on the last show that I watched Jet was going to the awards show with a date, Jen & Jair were going along with her. Fast forward, are any of the boys or girls in relationships now? Has Jessica ever been in a relationship that we know of? I never saw one on the show.

[hwarner]

Yes, Jessica and Jet are both in relationships. According to FJ, Jessica is dating Sean Fisher. Apparently Sean posted some cryptic messages on his Facebook page at the end of August and also the day Toby was arrested. Jet is still dating the same man from the awards show, Cory Piatt.

[ghoulina]

On 9/16/2016 at 6:57 PM, crazycatlady58 said:

I agree with you, while Brenda belives in being a submissive wive, she loves her kids and  I think she would have his head on a platter  if he touched  one of her  kids in a wrong  way. Just because  you are fundie does  not mean you let your  child be raped.

Very true. I'm not a fundie, but my husband and I do have a sort of old fashioned, patriarchal set up in our house. Both by choice, of course. We weren't raised to be this way, it just works for us. That being said, we both have our end of the bargain to live up to. He is the provider and the protector. Raping a child, especially one of ours, would violate promises he made to me and them. I'll be damned if I'd submit to a POS like that. I bet Brenda feels the same way. Unlike the Dugger women, she seems to have a modicum of common sense. The way she distanced herself from him in her statement makes me believe she's going to put her children first. I certainly hope so. 

 

I am late to this news, only found out a few days ago by accident. Toby always struck me as a awkward and a bit controlling. But I'll be honest, I never would have suspected this. My heart just breaks for the victim and ALL of those who had their lives destroyed by his actions.

[toodles]

I never follow this forum, but I just had to ask:  tlc is putting these people on again?  I saw an ad for this show this morning.  Just wow.

[Zahdii]

1 hour ago, toodles said:

I never follow this forum, but I just had to ask:  tlc is putting these people on again?  I saw an ad for this show this morning.  Just wow.

I don't know.  Seems odd.  Are you sure TLC isn't just running reruns?  The case hasn't even gone to trial yet.  I can't imagine being in that situation and trying to film a reality show, unless the family needs the money really bad?  Still, I'd think that filming now could be bad for their court case.

[toodles]

10 minutes ago, Zahdii said:

I don't know.  Seems odd.  Are you sure TLC isn't just running reruns?  The case hasn't even gone to trial yet.  I can't imagine being in that situation and trying to film a reality show, unless the family needs the money really bad?  Still, I'd think that filming now could be bad for their court case.

It said season finale.  I don't know much about this, other than what I've read.  But putting him on the air just seems beyond bad judgement to me.  

 

On 9/16/2016 at 6:33 AM, Lemur said:

"Nashville’s Newschannel5 reported Wednesday night that Willis had allegedly been charged with raping a family member. It said the family member had been 'removed by Willis from her bed and raped.' It also reported that 'authorities confirmed Willis was not allowed to go around his biological children or his wife.'"

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/09/14/the-willis-clan-no-more-a-christian-family-band-comes-apart-amid-child-rape-allegations.html

I just can't with these people.  

[Saltgypsie]

I loved this show!  Is there any updates on Tobys trial?  Has he been convicted yet?  I haven't been able to find any information!  Thanks!

[Almost 3000]

1 hour ago, Saltgypsie said:

I loved this show!  Is there any updates on Tobys trial?  Has he been convicted yet?  I haven't been able to find any information!  Thanks!

Well, you got me interested in this family again. There are two articles from the end of last year with TW mentioned. One about TLC's problem with child abusers in its show casts (ya think!) and this one that says Toby is set to appear in court March 1, 2017:

http://www.tennessean.com/story/news/local/cheatham/2016/11/30/toby-willis/94669534/

He looks like crap.

[SongbirdHollow]

Wow it looks like they are planning some kind of psychiatric defense. Interesting.

[slasherboy]

I'd forgotten about this but now that I'm reminded, I'm thinking I might go to the trial.  I live in Nashville and it would be easy for me to attend.  I, too, was shocked when I heard about the rape, but I never liked him on the show.  Now I know why!  If anybody else on here lives in Nashville and wants to meet up at the court house, let me know and we'll make it an adventure.

[Almost 3000]

50 minutes ago, slasherboy said:

 I, too, was shocked when I heard about the rape, but I never liked him on the show.  Now I know why!

yep, yep and yep... (report back)

[zxy556575]

Toby earned some of the side-eye around here because he was such a controlling hardliner with his children. I wouldn't have been totally shocked if he'd been charged with hitting them, but rape did surprise me. If he's guilty, I'd find it hard to believe it only happened once.

@slasherboy, please do report back! Try some bad charcoal courtroom drawings, too.  ;)

[slasherboy]

Almost 3000 and lordonia, if I do attend the trial, I'll absolutely report back!  As for the bad charcoal courtroom drawings, they'd be bad alright.  I can only draw stick figures but I'll give it my best shot.

On a serious note, I get so angry and frustrated by these so-called men who are so selfish that they destroy the lives of so many without a second thought.  All of the kids are multi-talented and can go on to be successful, but what they once had (performing as a family and seemingly happy doing so) is gone forever and there will always be a disgusting stain on their name.  If I were one of those children, I wouldn't hesitate to change my name.  If I was their mother I would do the same.

I'll keep you posted if there's anything to report.

[winsomeone]

I don't understand..the oldest girl was raped over 12 years ago. How can she possibly prove what she is saying is true? I don't not believe her, but don't see how any one will win in this trial.