The "Experts"

[Empress1]

I still think the show's biggest problem is that they get very, very few men willing to do this, but a whole lot of women. That leaves the scrambling for enough halfway decent men to use for matches. And we're seeing the results.

 

This show is the opposite of the Ashley Madison "Find an Affair Partner" website, where it turned out to be almost entirely men. If those two facts don't illustrate the difference between the two genders, I don't know what would.

I completely agree. I think I read that the pool for season 1 only had 20 men in it. If you figure half of them just wanted to be on TV, that's only ten men to pick from. Maybe there have been more men in the pools for subsequent seasons, but you have to figure in the TV factor - that you'll get some increased fame whoring now that the show has picked up some steam. I wouldn't do this, but I can totally see good, smart, attractive women who just haven't been able to find someone to marry throwing up their hands and saying, fuck it, nothing else has worked, I'll give this a shot, especially in cities like Atlanta and NYC where the single straight woman to single straight man ratio skews heavily in men's favor.

I think the other issue is that the "experts" are doing exactly what I know not to do: picking people in the hopes that they'll change the other person. People don't change unless they want to. How many times have you seen friends say "I can change him/her!" and been bitterly disappointed? Yet David is supposed to change Ashley into an outgoing person? Who says Ashley should, or wants to change? (And David isn't going to be the one to get her to look at herself since she so clearly can't stand him.)

[ketose]

The other reality is that many of the guys in that pool are going to be real uggos. If a guy is good looking and wants to get married, I don't think it would be that hard to find a wife.

[LennieBriscoe]

Blonde "expert" is a dead ringer for Chef Tosi on "Master Chef." Personality- and voice-wise, also.

[sleekandchic]

A question.  Maybe I misheard but I thought I heard the spiritual expert say he was a rabbi when talking to Neil and Sam, but I also thought I've seen people on the boards saying he is an atheist.  If he is both, can you...well, are there atheist rabbis?  I'd kind of think believing in God is pretty much necessary for the job, which is why I'm wondering if I've misinterpreted something.

henrysmom, this is from Greg Epstein's wiki:

In 2005, Greg received ordination as a Humanist Rabbi from the International Institute for Secular Humanistic Judaism, where he studied in Jerusalem and Michigan for five years.

In an interview, Epstein says that being a Humanist Rabbi "means I combine Jewish culture with the belief that this world is all we have." He is not anti-religious and "he is happy to work with the religious left (as he calls it) to help beat off the fundamentalist religious right." The Guardian compares his influence in American humanism to Richard Dawkins influence in the UK https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greg_Epstein

Here's his Harvard page: http://chaplains.harvard.edu/people/greg-epstein

[ProzacQueen]

The spiritual advisor guy, is the "expert", that bothers me the least, because most of the time, I'm like "why is he here", and he seems like less of a joke than the other three. However, my guess is, if I were to be cast on this show, he would pair my agnostic self, with some devout Catholic, or some other super religious person, because that would make for good TV. 

 

The rest of them are jokes, who sold whatever professional integrity they had, to a production company, to pander to a TV audience for a paycheck. 

[rab01]

Sleekandchic - a belief that "this world is all we have" actually fits really well with traditional Jewish belief. Judaism didn't have any idea of Heaven and Hell until after borrowing it from Christianity. The rabbis at my rather religious traditional school were a bit split about whether there is an afterlife.  I wonder whether "agnostic" is a better descriptor of Epstein's personal beliefs than "atheist."

[still hoping]

IMHO any creditability is out the door on this show with out a house key (Just as Neil was stuck LOL)

 

Season one they did seem to try to match what people wanted - but from all accounts season 2 was "rushed" and I wonder how much the producers and "casting" people's input shaped the choices?

 

This season they "claim" they put together couples so they could in effect be therapeutic for each other - David is supposed to "fix" Ashley, Neil and Sam should "fix" each other and to a lesser degree Vanessa should tame the party side of Trey?  All just stupid - any therapist or self help group or "program" will say work on yourself, don't go into things trying to change someone, you can't help someone who does not want to be helped and so forth.

 

I don't know if it can totally be fixed? I recall a couple seasons of Bachelor when "Chemistry> >? was  sponsor and used their online dating site  "scientific" tests with poor results.

 

What eventually might be fun would be a show of the "failed" marriage partners in a social setting with the "runner ups" - the ones who almost made it onto the show.
At this point the "all most" runner up people sort of intrique me == who else did they plan to pair with David? Neil etc

Maybe bring back some of the former ones and former runner ups from previous seasons if they are still "on the market"

Kind of a "Bachelor in Paradise" or "Wedding crashers" show?

Maybe have a big room of eligble background checked singles...and past cast.....let them dance, drink, talk...and at the end of the night see if any 3 couples "propose" or decide to give marriage a try and then "marry them right there"....(not legal)...party on

then take them to courthouse a day or so later and move em in. Make it required to live together or be dropped JMO?
I think this would be interesting

 

[sleekandchic]

Why does Dr Cilona think it's a good look to dye his hair, moustache and side beard jet black, while leaving the chin portion of the beard silver-gray? It's not a cool look.

Add the carefully arched brows, and I see Mephistopheles every time.

[fabdarling]

I tell myself I will not watch another season, but to my shame - here I am again.  Having said that, I have higher hopes for this season due to the new experts. I just wish the experts would ask the hard questions we as viewers want to know.  For example:  I want them to ask Heather why is she so freaked out that Derek smoked, if that was okay with her as far as her preferences?  Do we know if Tom is willing to give up the bus for the right woman or does he think any woman not willing to live in his smelly bus (I am only assuming it is smelly because the bed looks like he never changes the sheets) is materialistic?

On another note, I saw the teaser where Lily is crying because Tom said something mean about people who own luxury cars...which she does.  This is the problem with a 24 year old getting married so young (because back when I was 24, I would probably do the same thing Lily did).  What I hope she does is call him out on it.....and stand up for herself.  Not start a fight...but let him know how she felt about his comment.....communicate with him!  I believe you can grow as a person with someone else without having to apologize for what you like and who you are.

To my shame I will continue to watch ....for now.

[willgracefan]

Jeez these so-called experts are batting the interstate. .166 2/12. No good. I get that people now sign up for social media presence but wow if one was really looking for love. I'd go on the Bachelor. Much more fun there! Haha. 

[gingerandcloves]

I know. We've had more solid relationships come out of The Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise than this show. Whatever the "experts" are doing is not working.

[Evil Queen]

2 hours ago, gingerandcloves said:

I know. We've had more solid relationships come out of The Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise than this show. Whatever the "experts" are doing is not working.

At this point and after seeing a preview of the next episode, I'm thinking they don't get that nothing works. They don't match at all to make a real possible marriage that could last. They match for drama so they find the most opposites they can to throw together. Then if by chance they instead hit it off there has to be drama set up by producers....or as I said in another thread, the "experts" start throwing questions at whoever to try to create some doubt in their minds on things and hopefully set things up to become a shitfest. Otherwise they wouldn't be so damn one sided all the time either. They never once have called out the person in the relationship causing the problems. They rather blame the wrong person then tell them how they are the ones that are suppose to do things to make the marriage work. Never telling the person they should to do those things. Its a joke. I can't believe they are even advertising for another season of this show. The way they are playing with people is more of a sick "experiment"...as they keep telling us it is.

[pinkelephant3]

Will the experts ever admit they suck at their jobs? Their "scientific" outcomes are not good... 

[Evil Queen]

53 minutes ago, pinkelephant3 said:

Will the experts ever admit they suck at their jobs? Their "scientific" outcomes are not good... 

Will they ever admit they really aren't "experts"? 

[willgracefan]

I'm a newly out asexual and one of the very small reasons why I've discovered this about myself is from watching MAFS. The way they put such an emphasis on sexual relationships has always being so foreign to me. Anyhoo,  while searching YouTube for videos about asexuality I found a October 2012 Marlo Thomas daytime show clip with Dr. Pepper Schwartz. While I so understand that this topic is not very well-known at all I would think that five years ago she would have better advice than to go get your testosterone or estrogen and checked by a doctor. She did however that if one is content then more power to them. 

Good to see she's been giving semi good advice for years 

Edited July 7, 2017 by willgracefan

[Neurochick]

Interesting article about Pastor Cal.

[Crazy Bird Lady]

Maybe they should try having one of the three couples be non-heterosexual. Lesbian, perhaps --because they sure aren't doing a very good job and finding suitable men to marry non-crazy women!

[crgirl412]

Jon and Dr. Jessica in the Daily Mail.  He's 29 and she's 41 with 3 kids!!!!  She DELUSIONAL if she thinks this is going to go the distance.  A fling, yes.  Long term, hell no. 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-6136351/Married-Sight-star-reveals-hes-DATING-one-shows-relationship-experts.html

[topanga]

On 9/6/2018 at 10:30 PM, crgirl412 said:

Jon and Dr. Jessica in the Daily Mail.  He's 29 and she's 41 with 3 kids!!!!  She DELUSIONAL if she thinks this is going to go the distance.  A fling, yes.  Long term, hell no. 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-6136351/Married-Sight-star-reveals-hes-DATING-one-shows-relationship-experts.html

I didn't watch MAFS last season, so I completely missed this news. 

Who knows what brings two people together? Maybe they're soul mates after all. Maybe.

But are they both unemployed now??? 

[RealHousewife]

On 9/6/2018 at 9:30 PM, crgirl412 said:

Jon and Dr. Jessica in the Daily Mail.  He's 29 and she's 41 with 3 kids!!!!  She DELUSIONAL if she thinks this is going to go the distance.  A fling, yes.  Long term, hell no. 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-6136351/Married-Sight-star-reveals-hes-DATING-one-shows-relationship-experts.html

Now this is a plot twist! I'll also be surprised if this relationship lasts. 

On 1/8/2016 at 3:29 PM, okerry said:

I still think the show's biggest problem is that they get very, very few men willing to do this, but a whole lot of women. That leaves the scrambling for enough halfway decent men to use for matches. And we're seeing the results.

This show is the opposite of the Ashley Madison "Find an Affair Partner" website, where it turned out to be almost entirely men. If those two facts don't illustrate the difference between the two genders, I don't know what would.

So true! I do think women are more sexual than our stereotype and men are more romantic than theirs, but it does ultimately seem true that women care more about marriage and love and men want to be out there porking more than we do. 

[Davedoenunder63]

That bunch of self proclaimed experts have no idea, anyone with half a brain could see the same sex couple are never going to be a match my dog could have done better

[antfitz]

I think the experts need to look into the couple's individually better.  They need to talk to their friends or be around them when they are with their friends.  Had they done that they would have known that Virginia was not ready. She was still really enjoying the single life. It would have found Chris a scammer.  They would have learned that Virginia's MFS partner Wanted a kid NOW.  Maybe they would have seen  Mckayla this season go nuts being angry.

2 minutes ago, antfitz said:

I think the experts need to look into the couple's individually better.  They need to talk to their friends or be around them when they are with their friends.  Had they done that they would have known that Virginia was not ready. She was still really enjoying the single life. It would have found Chris a scammer.  They would have learned that Virginia's MFS partner Wanted a kid NOW.  Maybe they would have seen  Mckayla this season go nuts being angry.

 I think Mckayla needs to go to anger management. She needs to learn to control her anger and not blame her partner. Most women would be thrilled to have someone low key as Zach.

[antfitz]

Why don't the experts talk to their friends, to find out what kind of people they are really? That might eliminate some of the problems. They should even talk to exes. They could learn a lot and see the liars.

[cinsays]

But you are assuming the experts care and are actually trying to make good matches.  I don't think they do.

[Cramps]

The experts should leave the show - if it takes them all marrying former cast mates, like the last “expert” to leave the show, so be it. 

[Retired at last]

I just read ANOTHER article about how they were all shocked by the "real" Chris and that he didn't present any of that behavior while he was being "heavily" vetted. The fact that we, just the viewers, had him pegged as soon as he came on the screen before the weddings, should have been enough info for the "experts" to be replaced. Another article said that the season with Mia having a significant record of arrests changed how they do their vetting. Now, apparently, they do it closer to the actual start of filming since it seemed they concluded their research THE DAY BEFORE her record was posted! I don't believe that, either. Her record included multiple stalking charges and would be available - they don't all just show up one day. It would be interesting to see how the viewers would do assigning the matches. The production people can continue to select the people, as I believe they do now, and then they should post their pictures and histories and let the viewers do the matching. 

[Welshman in Ca]

16 hours ago, antfitz said:

Why don't the experts talk to their friends, to find out what kind of people they are really? That might eliminate some of the problems. They should even talk to exes. They could learn a lot and see the liars.

Because exes are never petty & don't have hurt feelings.

Once they get it down to 10 people they should just pull names out of 2 hats (M/F) randomly  and let them get on with it. They couldn't do any worse than the last 2 seasons.

Edited January 13, 2022 by Welshman in Ca