Jessica & Ryan D

[Snarklepuss]

I know this is a stretch, but imagine this--Ryan and Jessica meet in some acting class and actually date and like each other, they contact the producers of the show to be put together by the "experts", drum up some dramatic fight scenes to keep people watching, then in the end make up and stay together. They get money and the exposure they want while the producers get viewers.

 

Great minds think alike - I thought something similar to this, that they met independently before the show and applied as a couple, then the producers gave them a script to follow to make it look like they just met.  They may not really be married IRL but just boyfriend/girlfriend or even just friends.  The show may include some real issues they had as a couple but drummed up beyond all reality for drama's sake.  It's beginning to look like a lot of the scenes don't fit together logically nor in terms of time sequence either.  In one scene they're basically telling each other to go F themselves and in the talking heads they're saying how much they want this to work.  Yeah, right.  This might also be true of the other couples as well.

Edited May 8, 2015 by Snarklepuss

[moonxyz]

Great minds think alike - I thought something similar to this, that they met independently before the show and applied as a couple, then the producers gave them a script to follow to make it look like they just met.  They may not really be married IRL but just boyfriend/girlfriend or even just friends.  The show may include some real issues they had as a couple but drummed up beyond all reality for drama's sake.  It's beginning to look like a lot of the scenes don't fit together logically nor in terms of time sequence either.  In one scene they're basically telling each other to go F themselves and in the talking heads they're saying how much they want this to work.  Yeah, right.  This might also be true of the other couples as well.

 

But are the families actors too? I doubt it.

 

IMO I think they didn't know each other before the show. I still think a lot of the fighting is real but there is serious editing from the producers and some of the scenes look rehearsed (I refuse to believe the ironing argument was real). 

 

I don't really know what to think. I went from thinking they were acting, to thinking they are real to not knowing. 

[Snarklepuss]

But are the families actors too? I doubt it.

 

If they are already a real couple it wouldn't take too much acting on the part of the families to make it work.  Maybe they were already romantically involved before the show, but the show really did marry them as an "experiment".  So that part of it may be true and the families would not have to act too much.

[Adeejay]

I can believe that Jessica and Ryan signed on for the exposure and to further their "so call acting careers", but I doubt they were romantically involved before filming.  While the "all we ever have for dinner is sushi" and "this is how we do our laundry" scenes may have been reenacted, their arguments seem too raw and brutal for them not to be real.  If their "skills" were that good, they wouldn't need this show. 

Edited May 8, 2015 by Adeejay

[Snarklepuss]

Even if they were involved before the filming of the show, the arguments could still be real.  Being involved beforehand wouldn't have to mean they had a healthy relationship or that the arguments were fake or staged.

Edited May 8, 2015 by Snarklepuss

[ElectricCityy]

I can believe that Jessica and Ryan signed on for the exposure and to further their "so call acting careers", but I doubt they were romantically involved before filming.  While the "all we ever have for dinner is sushi" and "this is how we do our laundry" scenes may be have been reenacted, their arguments seem too raw and brutal for them not to be real.  If their "skills" were that good, they wouldn't need this show. 

I agree. If this is all acting they are giving stunning performances.

[moonxyz]

I think Jessica was definitely acting in the first episodes with the excessive crying. It was so fake and definitely obvious. I'm still convinced that the $100 fight was real. IMO the Laundromat scene was ordered by production just like Jaclyn's and Ryan's grocery payment "argument".

[Gigi43]

Ryan seems very aware of his image. Granted, he isn't making great strides in changing it. But still. If he's acting, I'd think he'd try to play the victim a little more, unless he is dumber and even more untalented than I already credit him as being. I can't comprehend anyone faking having a picture of their grandparents by their bed either, I think that would be even weirder than the fact that he does and that's pretty freaking weird. Maybe this is why his stepfather is no where to be seen?

 

Jessica, like Jamie, seems very comfortable in the interview portion. I've seen Stories Of Betrayal, now I'm going to be watching out for her.

Edited May 9, 2015 by Gigi43

[Kareem]

One thing that surprises me about Ken doll head is that he had grandpop whom he adored, even though he yelled shut up at his wife now and then, a step-father who was a good man and a role model, according to him and he has an incredibly sweet mom. What the heck happened to him?? His hot temper, his imagined offenses, his nastiness and his twisted ideas of showing affection seem to be such a contrast to what he described growing up with...

[DimaTheRussian]

       There's a reason he got sex quickly while the other losers didn't,Ryan D's main problem isn't that he's a a-hole sometimes she's turned on by that.Its that he doesn't know how to control his anger,I'm a a-hole to my wife when shes being rude and unreasonable but a woman loses respect for a man who can't control his emotions.Basically Ryan D cares too much about Jess's view of something he does,his insecurity makes him lash out.I just laugh at my wife when she tries to make a comment to get under my skin.

 

   He may be trying to emulate his grandpa with the playful teasing and dominating personality,but the main difference between him and his grandpa is that he has zero self confidence in himself in a relationship.This is why all the women who watch this show including my wife hate him,its not that hes being dominating in the relationship or his teasing its that hes a fraud while doing it.He doesn't believe in himself as a man why should any woman believe in him either.He had no real biological father so I have no idea if they have counselling on how to be a real man instead of a counterfeit one,but if there is counselling for such things he needs to go once a week.

Edited May 11, 2015 by DimaTheRussian

[Waterlilly]

Well, that is interesting. Good to hear a male point of view. I tend to look at Ryan as immature in the relationship department, maybe communicationaly stunted. I don't think he is necessarily a bad guy, but he is the kind that women tend to try to fix. Bad idea. He needs to fix Ryan.

[DimaTheRussian]

Well, that is interesting. Good to hear a male point of view. I tend to look at Ryan as immature in the relationship department, maybe communicationaly stunted. I don't think he is necessarily a bad guy, but he is the kind that women tend to try to fix. Bad idea. He needs to fix Ryan.

        His raw masculine energy is fine,his immaturity isn't a big deal either silly childish jokes can be fun.Its that he communicates too much when hes upset,no woman likes to hear a man complain about perceived slights.I agree about him working on himself,looking for sympathy is a fools errand in a relationship.Its a man's job to listen to his wife's nattering and complaints about that girl in accounting not the other way around,especially when its about something his own wife said.

       

    Really its all his fault,he brings all this on himself with his inability to be indifferent to a slight or disappointment from Jess.Look everyone will disappoint or annoy their partner,a good husband will not take it too personally and not care if his wife does.Just acknowledge she feels that way but if shes being childish don't let her steamroll you with unjustified silliness,calling someone out for being unreasonable isn't done by being unreasonable yourself.

 

  Such is the life of the married man.

[Gigi43]

This is really a gripe on the show I guess as much as Ryan and Jessica, but, it bugs that two of the biggest fights were off camera. The tattoo thing and the wedding money. We saw them open cards, and it seemed like the cameras followed them from the hotel to the restaurant when the tat talk supposedly happened on the way. Yet there's no footage of either. Are the really blowing it out of proportion, did it even happen? My mother swears during the last episode there were unopened NYE stuff in the apartment which has her questioning continuity, but I don't see either of them as quick to throw away anything, even unused holiday stuff.

I don't question if Sean questioned the hotel staff. I think either it wasn't filmed because the staff didn't want to be on camera or it was too damaging to Sean, though my mother thinks the show put it on screen he questioned the hotel because people involved with the show were annoyed to a degree he accused a place the show is kinda in business with of theft. But there's nothing but Ryan and Jessica's versions, which seem to change all the time in terms of the wedding money,, about these supposed huge problems. Does anyone know how often filming was? In the last season didn't they have personal cameras to film things/personal reactions or am I thinking of The First Year?

Edited May 11, 2015 by Gigi43

[Snarklepuss]

Yeah, I always cry foul when something is left off screen then it's talked about on screen.  The audience really has zero idea what really happened.  All we've been doing is speculating based on what we see on screen.

 

I just read that Jessica is from Bushwick in Brooklyn, which until very recently was a crime and drug infested dump.

[Snarklepuss]

Last week on "Star Talk" with Neil DeGrasse Tyson, biological anthropologist Helen Fisher said that 30% of all long term relationships began as 1 night stands, it's just that no one admits to it so people tend to make a different assumption.  Not sure where she got those statistics but if true it sort of takes the wind out of the argument that Jessica having sex with Ryan on the wedding night was definitely a factor in their rocky start.  Then again, I think it may have been a negative factor anyway because they're already thrust into too much too soon with marrying at first sight.  To add the additional stress of immediate physical intimacy to that might work against the relationship developing in any healthy way.

[JaneVM]

Last week on "Star Talk" with Neil DeGrasse Tyson, biological anthropologist Helen Fisher said that 30% of all long term relationships began as 1 night stands, it's just that no one admits to it so people tend to make a different assumption.  Not sure where she got those statistics but if true it sort of takes the wind out of the argument that Jessica having sex with Ryan on the wedding night was definitely a factor in their rocky start.  Then again, I think it may have been a negative factor anyway because they're already thrust into too much too soon with marrying at first sight.  To add the additional stress of immediate physical intimacy to that might work against the relationship developing in any healthy way.

 

 

Who knows if there is truth to that, but I wonder how many of those turn out to be healthy and happy long-term marriages?  I have a friend who has been married for 20 years and her husband treats her like crap, but it has been that way since the beginning because it started with an imbalance in the relationship.  

Edited May 12, 2015 by JaneVM

[Aethera]

Hey folks, my co-mods and I would appreciate it if we could stop doing quite so much generalizing about neighborhoods and boroughs and what folks are like in them and how being from them equates to certain behavior.  Thanks!

[Wings]

I don't know if someone posted about this- but I was watching a 2013 episode of Unfaithful: Stories of Betrayal. It's a show where real couples discuss infidelity. They show certain things that happened in the relationships- and have actors play in these dramatizations. This one was about Randy & Monica and Derek & Ashley. Who did I see playing Ashley?? Jessica Castro! I was so surprised, I went on IMDB just to make sure. Not only was she on this show, but a few other things as well. That really pisses me off. Surely these experts checked these things! This bitch had her own IMDB page! How do you miss that? Or maybe they just put Ryan and Jessica on here because they're actors. Or maybe these "experts" aren't really experts. I just don't know!

 

 

Here is the trailer for this episode. 

 

http://www.yidio.com/show/unfaithful-stories-of-betrayal/season-2/episode-11/3111524868

[okerry]

Last week on "Star Talk" with Neil DeGrasse Tyson, biological anthropologist Helen Fisher said that 30% of all long term relationships began as 1 night stands, it's just that no one admits to it so people tend to make a different assumption.  Not sure where she got those statistics but if true it sort of takes the wind out of the argument that Jessica having sex with Ryan on the wedding night was definitely a factor in their rocky start.  Then again, I think it may have been a negative factor anyway because they're already thrust into too much too soon with marrying at first sight.  To add the additional stress of immediate physical intimacy to that might work against the relationship developing in any healthy way.

I saw that show, too. Even if the statistic is true, that still leaves over 2/3 of one-night stands that go nowhere.

 

Now, if someone's happy with a one-night stand, then it's fine. But these couple are supposed to be in it for the long term, because they are *married.* That means they've got to have some courtship, because courtship creates the bond that will hold them together for the long term. If you skip over the courtship to marry at first sight, you'd better at least do some courting after the wedding. Behaving like it's a one-night stand by having sex on the wedding night is going to really throw a monkey wrench into that.

 

You can't have it both ways. Either this is a long-term relationship that will involve a courtship, or it's a blind date with sex. A blind date with sex does not make for a good marriage. JMHO.

[Jellybeans]

They have not shown them doing anything together, like a couples date... something fun. And why wasn't Ryan with Jessica and his Mom when they had lunch? It could have been an outing...a fun time instead of a boring talk.

[Janet Snakehole]

It looked to me like Jessica went more to get advice about how to deal with Ryan, as his mom went on about how she had to learn to compromise. Which.....seems misguided to me. I try to keep relationships issues within just me and the person I am in a relationship with for the most part. I especially would not go to someone who knows my SO better than they know me.

But I agree, they need to go on some date nights. Get out of the apartment and eat some sushi out instead of takeout.

Edited May 13, 2015 by Janet Snakehole

[Neurochick]

I think Ryan D is getting bashed here and on social media.  But I understand why.

 

I remember in 1989, sitting at my desk with the radio on and I heard his horrific story of a couple in Boston, coming home from a birthing class, they got lost and were carjacked, the wife was killed, the husband wounded.  The husband said a black man did it.  People were horrified, outraged; I don't remember if Fox News existed then, but I do remember that conservative radio went coo coo bananas.  

 

And then the truth came out, the husband, Charles Stuart was the mastermind of the whole thing. He murdered his wife, shot himself and got his brother to take the gun and jewelry and when the police closed int, Stuart killed himself.  People were astonished, they couldn't believe it.  How could a man kill his pregnant wife?  Then the Scott Peterson case happened and people were like whoa.

 

Anyway, I think the pendulum has swung the other way and today, we look for those red flags. I don't know if Ryan is abusive or not, but I really do think he's an ass.

[biakbiak]

I realize it's not possible but I would really love to hear how Ryan's grandmother felt about her marriage and if it was this perfect partnership that both people found rewarding.

[Waterlilly]

Are these grandparents Ryan's mother's parents?

[Snarklepuss]

And then the truth came out, the husband, Charles Stuart was the mastermind of the whole thing. He murdered his wife, shot himself and got his brother to take the gun and jewelry and when the police closed int, Stuart killed himself.  People were astonished, they couldn't believe it.  How could a man kill his pregnant wife?  Then the Scott Peterson case happened and people were like whoa.

 

Anyway, I think the pendulum has swung the other way and today, we look for those red flags. I don't know if Ryan is abusive or not, but I really do think he's an ass.

 

Neurochick, remember NY's own Lisa Steinberg/Hedda Nussbaum case from 1987?  It really raised awareness about domestic violence/abuse.  Personally I think anyone can be abusive but that doesn't make them Joel Steinberg, just a garden variety immature asshole.

[Jellybeans]

Does Ryan D. own only one sweater?

[moonxyz]

Does Ryan D. own only one sweater?

 

No, I counted 3. i believe he stole the $100 to buy some new clothes. 

[Vinyasa]

The girls have perfect hair and makeup during all the scenes including waking up in the morning. I know it is TV and of course that is going to happen.

 

But are all the scenes we see scripted?

 

First go to hair and makeup, now read your lines. Is this just like a soap opera?

[Liberty]

The girls have perfect hair and makeup during all the scenes including waking up in the morning.

 

I noticed the wake-up make-up with Jamie last year, but thought it was probably not a professional job.  So I just assumed it was not done by a professional who understood how it would interact with the lighting and camera.  Cortney, however, does a lot better with make-up in general, wasn't she quite into it, thinking of starting her own make-up label? 

 

I sure don't have a definitive answer.  I think each member of this years' crew has a different level of accomplishment.  

[StayingAfterSunday]

I noticed the wake-up make-up with Jamie last year, but thought it was probably not a professional job.  So I just assumed it was not done by a professional who understood how it would interact with the lighting and camera.  Cortney, however, does a lot better with make-up in general, wasn't she quite into it, thinking of starting her own make-up label? 

 

I sure don't have a definitive answer.  I think each member of this years' crew has a different level of accomplishment.  

 

Yes, Cortney has her own little page on IBMD where she is credited with doing the on-set makeup for three different films, two of which were short films.   Here's the link if anyone is interested:  http://www.imdb.com/name/nm5252719/

[Liberty]

In the "Intimacy" episode, I found Jessica's mouth a distraction as she prepared for Dr. "Logan".  Her tongue was green, as if she had just savored a piece of green hard candy.

 

I'll bet she remembers that as her acting career moves forward. I applaud the editors and producers for letting it happen.  It does suggest production leaves make-up/grooming up to each character.

 

And what's with Ryan D walking into the apt. with a little red baseball cap on backwards.  Maybe trying to keep the back of his neck from getting sunburn.  With his cap, t-shirt and Nike seat pants he establishes a unique sense of style for a "business consultant".

Edited May 20, 2015 by Liberty

[moonxyz]

In the "Intimacy" episode, I found Jessica's mouth a distraction as she prepared for Dr. "Logan".  Her tongue was green, as if she had just savored a piece of green hard candy.

 

I'll bet she remembers that as her acting career moves forward. I applaud the editors and producers for letting it happen.  It does suggest production leaves make-up/grooming up to each character.

 

And what's with Ryan D walking into the apt. with a little red baseball cap on backwards.  Maybe trying to keep the back of his neck from getting sunburn.  With his cap, t-shirt and Nike seat pants he establishes a unique sense of style for a "business consultant".

 

I said the same thing in the episode thread. What type of busienss consultant dresses like that? lol someone on anaother forum said Ryan seemed like the type to go out all day and shoot pool with his friends and come back home like he actually worked.

 

I don't believe anything about him when it comes to finances. I wouldn't be suprised if the Mercedes was a rental....

Edited May 20, 2015 by moonxyz

[Bella]

I said the same thing in the episode thread. What type of busienss consultant dresses like that? lol someone on anaother forum said Ryan seemed like the type to go out all day and shoot pool with his friends and come back home like he actually worked.

 

I don't believe anything about him when it comes to finance. I wouldn't be suprised if the Mercedes was a rental....

 

At the risk of creating all sorts of troublesome speculation, I will say that I wonder if he works "off the grid." 

[moonxyz]

At the risk of creating all sorts of troublesome speculation, I will say that I wonder if he works "off the grid." 

 

Hmmm I read somewhere at the beginning of the seasons that his friends were maybe, allegedly involved in the type of activity that you allude to. But many things are said on the internet so I don't know how reliable the information is.

Edited May 20, 2015 by moonxyz

[Bella]

Yeah, there are a lot of possibilities. That's just one of them, and since we don't know, we don't know. But it could explain the "bro-ness" in his work attire. Then again, he may be in the business of advising "bro" businesses.

[Liberty]

How about that Jessica, "I'm a sexual person".

 

It is like she has a view of an ideal wife..... cooks, enjoys sex, cuddles, keeps the kitchen clean, etc.  She thinks by identifying and saying those things she becomes those things.

 

It is likely she is no more interested in sex than she is in cooking.

Edited May 21, 2015 by Liberty

[vikingphobia]

Jessica makes bitter comments about him to others and humiliates him.  They are both too immature to stay together.  He is stuck in the "you are not the boss of me!" stage with his habit of doing the opposite of what she asks him.  She does not have a strong sense of self so his insults hurt her.  I don't think they are a good match.  Plus must she always being looking at photos of herself on her cell phone? 

 

[moonxyz]

I believe her when she says she's sexual: 2 minutes after the wedding ceremony she tells Ryan that's he's going to take off her dress. Then later in the hotel room she makes the same comment again. And in ther talking head she says they could have sex everyday. 

[Snarklepuss]

Jessica makes bitter comments about him to others and humiliates him.  They are both too immature to stay together.  He is stuck in the "you are not the boss of me!" stage with his habit of doing the opposite of what she asks him.  She does not have a strong sense of self so his insults hurt her.  I don't think they are a good match.  Plus must she always being looking at photos of herself on her cell phone? 

 

I have said before that in some ways they remind me of myself and guys I knew when we were at least ten years younger than they are.  They are like 29/30 but they might as well be in high school judging from their maturity level.  It looks like that's the only way in which they were evenly matched, but being equally as immature is still not good for a relationship.

[Waterlilly]

I am watching the shows on FYI tonight. Has anyone noticed Ryan' grandfather's flag moving from room to room? It is like it has a life of it's own. What ever room they are in, there's the flag.

[Vinyasa]

Interesting comments by Dr. Joe.....

 

I understand you are not part of the editing process. Was there anything that surprised you when watching the first episode?

 

I was surprised, and quite frustrated that Jessica, who has done modeling and acting on the side for years, wasn't highlighted in either the Matchmaking Special or episode 1. This has already created some controversy on social media. I feel a bit of deja vu when the whole Jamie/Bachelor thing emerged. I'm certain now this is likely to continue to cause some people to call both her authenticity and the authenticity of the experiment into question.

[Waterlilly]

Ghost Hunters is one of my obsessions. On another note. Is Ryan an only child? I wonder if his grands left him an inheritance, maybe a Benz.

I wish Jessica would get over the people think they are better than me stuff. That is up to you girl. They are just people.

[moonxyz]

Acting or no acting? I'm suspicious of the 180 they did this week. Something fishy is going on.

[JAndy]

I still don't like them either. It seems so fake how they wen from basically hating each other to be all lovey-dovey. To me, it comes off like an act. And I hate Ryan's "joking" personality. I wouldn't want to be with someone like that.

[Magoo]

Why does Ryan never look at Jessica?  I mean, never.  He averts his eyes, looks past her, looks down, anywhere but at her.  I gave him a pass on the wedding episode, even though I thought it was weird, because why wouldn't you want to get a good, long look at the person you just married?  But it's still happening.  It's like he's thinking "if I don't look, if I don't see, it didn't happen."  Just...weird.

[sleekandchic]

Why does Ryan never look at Jessica?  I mean, never.  He averts his eyes, looks past her, looks down, anywhere but at her.  I gave him a pass on the wedding episode, even though I thought it was weird, because why wouldn't you want to get a good, long look at the person you just married?  But it's still happening.  It's like he's thinking "if I don't look, if I don't see, it didn't happen."  Just...weird.

May I give a horribly shallow opinion on that? Hold on to your hat!

Jessica's eyebrows are atrocities. They look like huge, too-long, oversized, sluggish caterpillars glued above her eyes. No arch or sculpt.

Today's new, modern eyebrow IS heavier and darker. But thats not what Jess is going for. If you look at some of her publicity headshots, even the makeup artists have a hard time with her brows, but they make her look much better than she does in RL.

Now look at Ryan. His brows are waxed and sculpted to an extreme degree for a man. His brows are more feminine than Jess's.

If you look at the still shot of Ryan when he appeared once on reality show, Brooklyn 11223, his brows were waxed and groomed, but not to the extreme they are today.

My shallow conclusion? Ryan puts a lot of weight on a person's brows! Ha! And he cant bear Jess's caterpillars. They dont reflect well on HIM and his RIGHT to the hottest girl in the room. Hence, no EYE contact with his bride.

Thats my story and I'm stickin to it! ;)

[Magoo]

Hah! I love your theory and I'm on board.

[trashjunkie]

I like that eyebrow theory.  Jess really would benefit from someone sitting down with her and teaching her how to shape them better.  They need to taper off at the ends, girl!  I mean, I get it, I have naturally terrible eyebrows too so I sympathize but if I can get mine under control, she definitely can.

[Snarklepuss]

I'm down with the eyebrow theory too, especially since there are plenty of articles linking eyebrow shape with personality:

 

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/style-beauty/beauty/how-to/a15810/what-your-eyebrows-say-about-you/

 

http://www.ezskincare.net/eyebrows-attention/

 

What do Jessica's eyebrows say about her?

Edited May 28, 2015 by Snarklepuss

[suzeecat]

I just gotta say that I could never live somewhere with that creepy clown painting haunting me.  I understand that Ryan has a sentimental attachment to it, but the way it is placed all by itself, a bit too high on a huge wall, and features so prominently (yes, along with that flag!) in all of their apartment shots - well, it just really bothers me, and I don't even live there! 

 

I honestly never noticed Jessica's eyebrows because I'm staring at her spider eyelashes.  She has pretty eyes and if the eyebrows bother Ryan, why doesn't he treat her to a session with his own eyebrow tech?