Jessica & Ryan D

[Snarklepuss]

I just saw the Move In episode again and I clearly heard Ryan say that Jessica already had the second closet and she could also have the drawers. Did anyone else hear that?

 

I just watched that segment over on the FYI site and he did clearly say that.  So color me confused because Jessica was acting like he was taking over the one closet she could use.  I also clearly heard him say that if she really wanted it she could have it, he didn't care.  FWIW, I see him bending over backwards to please her.  I don't think he is intentionally trying to steamroll her.  She has to speak up.  Again, I think a lot of guys proceed with what THEY think is a good arrangement if the woman hasn't said they prefer otherwise.  In fact, I don't even think that's exclusively a guy thing.  I could see women doing that too.  This is not bullying or steamrolling because the person is usually perfectly willing to bend and compromise if the other person speaks up.  Jessica didn't ask him how much closet he needed either.  She presumed that she should have the entire thing.  What a selfish guy expecting to have some freaking closet! (sarcasm) She is acting like she expects everything to come to her, which IMO is a very immature, self serving attitude.  Their relationship shouldn't be all about him pulling what she needs out of her and being the one to always make the sacrifices.  That's too much to expect from him, but it seems like she's setting it up so that unless he gives in to her he looks selfish.  He's already compromised on two counts with the living arrangements.  She didn't want to live in S.I. and he was perfectly willing to live in her apartment in Brooklyn, but she steamrolled HIM into not doing either one.  On top of that she nixed an apartment he was in love with.  And now she wants all the closets but he's still seen as the steamroller.  Go figure.

[moonxyz]

 

 

If his mom is so normal, why wasn't she raising him? I say that because he has constantly talked about how his grandparents raised him...not babysat him every day while she was at work...but raised him. Where was she in this mix?

I'm hoping they stay together, but I'm not going to lose sleep over it either way.

 

Thanks for correcting me. His grandparents did indeed raise him and this could explain his spoiled brat attitude always getting his way. 

 

Something that also bothers me is that he seems to idealize his grandparent's RH but never talks about that of his mom and step father (who hasn't appeared on the show yet). I wonder if he resents his mom for his failed relationship with his bio father? who knows.

 

Both Ryan and Jess are somewhat immature , with Ryan being the most immature with a good dose of asshole in him. I' don't think they will stay together but at least the likelihood of success is 100 times higher than Davina and Sean. 

[HumblePi]

Oh man, do I ever hate Ryan. I think he rates higher on my hate list than Davina, but she's a very close second. I think his picture should be somewhere on google when someone looks up the word 'douchbag'. BOOM! Ryan's picture is right there. He's bossy, arrogant and well....douchy. Run Jessica, run!! Just go put a dollar in the jar right now Ryan, shoo-shoo

 

[Phoenix]

Jessica is excelling at putting Ryan in a very bad situation as far as perception goes.  He has made countless kind gestures towards her and she flat out ignores or refuses each one.  Even when they were entering their new apartment, he told her to put her suitcase down so he could carry it, but no, she made sure to carry it herself so she could make him look bad.  Same thing with going through doorways...he always says...let me get the door for you.  She has a passive-aggressive nature, which means she wants to always appear to be put upon by others so she looks good and they look bad. 

 

This was the case with ALL of her previous boyfriends...just as it is with Ryan.  She wants people to view her as such a gentle, sweet, kind soul that others just walk all over. Poor thing.

 

As far as the dresser/closet scene:  Jessica already laid claim to an entire full closet, but she made Ryan look bad when he asked for the small bedroom closet.  She snorted and chuckled...in an effort to show Ryan was walking all over her...blah, blah, blah.  I cannot tolerate people like her.  Anyway, she ended up getting an entire closet and the entire dresser. 

[MsPH]

I don't think Jessica claimed anything. She hung up her wedding dress in the closet in the second bedroom, probably thinking it would be out of the way there and Ryan immediately assumed that she wants the whole closet. She also put a few clothes in one drawer in the dresser and Ryan again assumed that she was claiming the whole dresser. She never intended to do either, she just put things away like a normal person would while unpacking in a new place. She didn't think they had to have a big discussion beforehand about who takes what drawer and bit of closet space, since most people have both drawer things and things they have to hang up and they don't mind sharing. So Ryan being like "well you can have the dresser since you took it anyway" made her feel like it's his apartment and that he expected her to ask permission before putting anything anywhere, which would be ridiculous. To me it just seemed like a way for Ryan to claim the big main bedroom closet without coming off as selfish. Saying she took over the closet in the other bedroom as well as the dresser, which she didn't actually do, makes it seem like he had no choice but to put his things exactly where he wanted to put them in the first place. Yeah, she should've spoken up, but he was already being a douche, so she didn't want to make him blow up. He knew she was upset, yet told the camera that he can't know that unless she tells him. Yeah right, if you didn't know you wouldn't even be talking about it. It's such a cop out, feigning ignorance so she HAS TO start an argument or let herself be walked over. I just can't stand his kind. 

[Jack Sampson]

Jess looks like she's already gained weight.  And that piercing is going to leave a scar, you can see it under all of the makeup when she smiles.

[sleekandchic]

I hope that any person contemplating a future audition for this show first watches the entire season 2, as well as reads the comments on the net from viewers.

Every instance and event -- as spotlighted by the show's own decisions -- are magnified and dissected and given a kind of gravitas that none of it deserves, imo. If RL were like this, I'd die from exhaustion and depression after six weeks. It's too much. Take a drawer! Hang up your crap! Start living!

I think the experts should be more hands-on. If they ARE helping, we're not seeing it. Lots of talking heads ain't cutting it for me. Experts from another friggin planet! ;)

[Jack Sampson]

I hope that any person contemplating a future audition for this show first watches the entire season 2, as well as reads the comments on the net from viewers.

Every instance and event -- as spotlighted by the show's own decisions -- are magnified and dissected and given a kind of gravitas that none of it deserves, imo. If RL were like this, I'd die from exhaustion and depression after six weeks. It's too much. Take a drawer! Hang up your crap! Start living!

I think the experts should be more hands-on. If they ARE helping, we're not seeing it. Lots of talking heads ain't cutting it for me. Experts from another friggin planet! ;)

People auditioning for a show like this are attention whores - they love it, even the bad comments because, to them, it shows how obsessed everyone is and how interesting and important they must be.

[sleekandchic]

People auditioning for a show like this are attention whores - they love it, even the bad comments because, to them, it shows how obsessed everyone is and how interesting and important they must be.

Ach, I know you're right, and I do usually think, well what did they expect! I'm not sure why, but a couple (or all!) of these season 2 mooks are turning me to mush. I've developed a real love/hate thing with MAFS!

[cardigirl]

Ach, I know you're right, and I do usually think, well what did they expect! I'm not sure why, but a couple (or all!) of these season 2 mooks are turning me to mush. I've developed a real love/hate thing with MAFS!

Me too, sleekandchic.  Last season I was soooo rooting for Vaughn and Monet, and was so disappointed...this season I'm shocked at some of the stuff being said about and to the couples. I think I enjoyed the show a bit more last year.  I'm hoping the last 4 or 5 episodes step up.

Edited April 27, 2015 by cardigirl

[JapMo]

 

Thanks for correcting me. His grandparents did indeed raise him and this could explain his spoiled brat attitude always getting his way. 

 

Something that also bothers me is that he seems to idealize his grandparent's RH but never talks about that of his mom and step father (who hasn't appeared on the show yet). I wonder if he resents his mom for his failed relationship with his bio father? who knows.

 

Both Ryan and Jess are somewhat immature , with Ryan being the most immature with a good dose of asshole in him. I' don't think they will stay together but at least the likelihood of success is 100 times higher than Davina and Sean.

 

Yes, the familial connections with this group of people is kind of confusing. Ryan D idolizes his grandparents and only because she was at his wedding did we even know the mom was in the picture. Where's his real dad or stepdad? Maybe they just didn't want to be on camera. And then (to me) there was that confusing reaction Jaclyn and her sisters had when her father came in to her room right before she got married. She seemed so surprised...like she didn't expect him at all. Top it all off with Davina's family refusing to come to her wedding. Now that's the second time (Courtney being the first) that the family refused to see their daughter wed. It's not like they disapproved of the groom because they didn't know him. Most parents, even if they can't stand who their child is marrying will show up to support them on their wedding day.

[harmonic42]

I don't quite understand the negative opinions of Jessica. I see her as a bit naïve, but at least she's sweet, and not in that weird "hurt sweet" way that Sean is. That's a lot more than I can say about Jaclyn, who seems to pride herself on how she keeps her distance from people, and puts up an annoying air of invulnerability. Jessica comes off like she actually has a soft spot for... someone. Probably not Ryan D(bag), but someone. I'm surprised she's not taken already by a genuinely good man.

 

She is feminine and demure. That's rare in this modern world. Her faults can be forgiven in my view.

[JapMo]

 

I don't quite understand the negative opinions of Jessica. I see her as a bit naïve, but at least she's sweet, and not in that weird "hurt sweet" way that Sean is. That's a lot more than I can say about Jaclyn, who seems to pride herself on how she keeps her distance from people, and puts up an annoying air of invulnerability. Jessica comes off like she actually has a soft spot for... someone. Probably not Ryan D(bag), but someone. I'm surprised she's not taken already by a genuinely good man.

 

She is feminine and demure. That's rare in this modern world. Her faults can be forgiven in my view.

 

I think she does have a soft spot....for Ryan. As goofy as it sounds, I believe these two have the most chemistry between them. Whether it's long-term or about to explode, I see that between them. I still hold to the belief Jaclyn is faking it and telling herself she's falling for Ryan R. And while RR has made many comments that she's very attractive and he wants to consummate the marriage, I still don't see anything more than that coming from him. Can't read Sean & Davina right now. They're both so unusual they might actually be good for each other.

Yes, I agree that Jennifer is very feminine and demure. Which surprised me when I read (have not actually seen myself) that she puts a lot of suggestive pictures of herself on Instagram.

[Snarklepuss]

I agree that Jessica is a bit naive, but feminine and demure are not adjectives that come to mind for me.  I think she has a "bad attitude" from years of bad relationships and high expectations that most men are probably doomed not to meet.  I see her as one of those tough exterior/over-sensitive interior people I identify with being from New York myself.  It's a protective shell one develops when one grows up in a certain urban environment.  I think she may only look feminine and demure because she's holding a whole lot back.  She wants to look agreeable to everything but she's really not.  Then she tells it to the camera, not to Ryan.  That's how it feels to me.

[JapMo]

 

I agree that Jessica is a bit naive, but feminine and demure are not adjectives that come to mind for me.  I think she has a "bad attitude" from years of bad relationships and high expectations that most men are probably doomed not to meet.  I see her as one of those tough exterior/over-sensitive interior people I identify with being from New York myself.  It's a protective shell one develops when one grows up in a certain urban environment.  I think she may only look feminine and demure because she's holding a whole lot back.  She wants to look agreeable to everything but she's really not.  Then she tells it to the camera, not to Ryan.  That's how it feels to me.

 

I think if someone keeps having the same bad relationships with men, which Jessica said she has, you would think said person would do a little introspection and ask themselves why they keep hooking up with men that treat them badly. NOT go on a reality show and be paired up with a total stranger. I'm sure it would be an attractive thought to let someone else

"scientifically" find your perfect mate, but after you think about it for awhile, no...that's not the way to do it.

[HappilyEverAfter]

I wonder if this couple has the type relationship where they fight than have hot makeup sex. I was exhausted by friends that were that way. It seemed they picked fights in order to build up to the makeup sex. They ended up divorcing.

[joobie]

I would find it very exhausting being married to Jessica. She says she will cook but they eat sushi every night. She lets him decide what's for dinner and he didn't seem too happy to decide. He wants a home cooked meal that you said you would cook because you want to save money and not go out to eat. For pete's sake, find out what your husband likes and cook him a meal. If someone asks you what you want for dinner and you tell them to decide and they say you can decide and then you tell them you can decide, you can't complain about your decision. Of course the kitchen will always be clean because you don't use anything in there. Why didn't you make pancakes for yourself and Ryan? 

 

I think Ryan wanted a partner and wife and best friend and Jessica to me offers none of that. What do you want to do? I don't know, what do you want to do? I don't care. That is a lot of responsibility to put on one partner and very trying. She says she doesn't want to make waves and she doesn't want to have conflict but quite frankly nobody wants to be married to a house plant.

 

Jessica wanted a strong take charge male and seems resentful that he is that kind of guy. Could he be more respectful of the way he talks to her? Absolutely. But in order for good communication she needs to be engaged. And lastly, in her talking heads she is very disrespectful of Ryan; she makes him out to be selfish and inconsiderate and a jerk. Ryan doesn't speak that way of her.  I would want people to respect and value my spouse and the last thing I would do is paint them out as ugly to the public. I think Ryan has a strong sense of right and wrong (even though he goes about it in a meathead sort of way) and I think she genuinely hurt his feelings when she said he took the $100 dollars from the wedding and when she said he called her trashy. I think she just assumes he is going to be her next bad relationship and is seeing things that aren't there.

[Soup333]

What the hell? They make me tired. She said she would cook, but they eat sushi every night. He says he wants her to cook, she blows up.

 

Him: "What's the problem?"

Her: "Nothing's a problem. Everything's perfectly fine."

Him: "That's fine. Then act like everything's perfectly fine."

Her: "No, it's not perfectly fine!"

 

So why the hell did you say that? I couldn't do it.

[Janet Snakehole]

They both suck and being together brings out the suckiness in their personalities even more.

The experts suck even more for thinking a passive aggressive doormat and immature abrasive guy would make a good couple.

[Neurochick]

What the hell? They make me tired. She said she would cook, but they eat sushi every night. He says he wants her to cook, she blows up.

 

Him: "What's the problem?"

Her: "Nothing's a problem. Everything's perfectly fine."

Him: "That's fine. Then act like everything's perfectly fine."

Her: "No, it's not perfectly fine!"

 

So why the hell did you say that? I couldn't do it.

 

Both of them are immature.  

 

Jessica told Ryan that she loves to cook, but she's afraid to cook because she doesn't want to make the wrong thing and piss Ryan off.  Now, Ryan's a jerk but I have a feeling that even if Jessica was married to a saint, she'd still hold her feelings inside.  Ryan needs a more aggressive woman and Jessica needs to grow a spine.  I don't see her as sweet and demure at all; one can be sweet and still have a spine.  If she wanted to cook for Ryan, ask him before he went to work, "I'm cooking honey, what would you like to eat today?"  I'm sure Ryan would tell her.  Or say, "I'm going to make chicken and grilled vegetables today."  He can either say yes or no, but at least you've said it.  

 

Grow up guys.  

Edited April 29, 2015 by Neurochick

[moonxyz]

Douche is an immature, tactless asshole, but I don't think for one second that he's abusive or would abuse Jess. That's the idea being expressed on social media and I think they are completely missing the point. (I can't believe I'm defending him)

 

At this stage, Jess has completely checked out emotionally from Ryan and the experiment. At the end of last episode’s argument, she had a smirk on her face. She had the ultimate payback for the trashy comment that cut her to her core. I think someone in her past might have called her trashy or worse, so coming from Ryan was enough for her to not really give a fuck after that point. Her usual chipper attitude has disappeared since the honeymoon. She calls him a stranger, says "if we stay together", thinks he is a crook for taking $100, won't cook for him, etc.. She doesn't even like him and I think she is doing passive aggressive stuff to make him look bad. Genius but petty but I love it.

 

PS: I've finally made up my mind. I don't think they're acting.

[Neurochick]

Douche is an immature, tactless asshole, but I don't think for one second that he's abusive or would abuse Jess. That's the idea being expressed on social media and I think they are completely missing the point. (I can't believe I'm defending him)

 

At this stage, Jess has completely checked out emotionally from Ryan and the experiment. At the end of last episode’s argument, she had a smirk on her face. She had the ultimate payback for the trashy comment that cut her to her core. I think someone in her past might have called her trashy or worse, so coming from Ryan was enough for her to not really give a fuck after that point. Her usual chipper attitude has disappeared since the honeymoon. She calls him a stranger, says "if we stay together", thinks he is a crook for taking $100, won't cook for him, etc.. She doesn't even like him and I think she is doing passive aggressive stuff to make him look bad. Genius but petty but I love it.

 

PS: I've finally made up my mind. I don't think they're acting.

 

I agree, except I don't love it.  I don't love it because some men will watch a show like that and say, "yeah, that's how they all are; they don't say what they mean, or mean what they say, passive aggressive all the way."  I can't stand passive/aggressive people, I believe that behavior is abusive.  If you can't say what you mean and mean what you say, then I have no use for you.

[moonxyz]

I agree, except I don't love it.  I don't love it because some men will watch a show like that and say, "yeah, that's how they all are; they don't say what they mean, or mean what they say, passive aggressive all the way."  I can't stand passive/aggressive people, I believe that behavior is abusive.  If you can't say what you mean and mean what you say, then I have no use for you.

 

Sorry but I can't feel sorry for Ryan Douche. He's in no way shape or form innocent. He's been an ass since day one and Jess is human so I understand wanting to get even with him.

[Phoenix]

Jessica asked for a man in charge and she got that, but now she is unhappy about it.  Watching them closely it's clear Jessica is the one that starts the arguments by lashing out at nearly all things Ryan says.  For example when he politely said, "Maybe you could cook.  But I don't want to beg" she blew-up over a simple request.  She was the one that belittled Ryan by calling his actions "just crazy" when he said he ate out each day spending $50.00 each time.  And now it's clear they are spending double that.  Plus she was adamant about wanting to cook for them, not eat out.   But she didn't mean that either...she was at the time of her offer simply taking another opportunity to put Ryan's down/make him look bad in comparison to her.

 

She continues to be a master of the passive-aggressive personality type...she is winning at making Ryan look bad.  Although the ratios on that statistic (Ryan vs. Jessica) are greatly narrowing after this last episode.

 

And obviously he was angry when she blurted out that he was "down on cash".  He has great pride on being perceived as well to do and she knows that.  Also, she had already taken cash from their wedding money, but because he took more or just took some period she was mad...she wants and needs to wear the pants in a relationship.

Edited April 29, 2015 by Phoenix

[moonxyz]

Man in charge does not mean immature chauvanist. You can be a leader and still be very considerate of your women's feelings. Ryan is macho with a big ego. There's nothing more to him. 

[LK615]

 

 

Yes, the familial connections with this group of people is kind of confusing. Ryan D idolizes his grandparents and only because she was at his wedding did we even know the mom was in the picture. Where's his real dad or stepdad? Maybe they just didn't want to be on camera. And then (to me) there was that confusing reaction Jaclyn and her sisters had when her father came in to her room right before she got married. She seemed so surprised...like she didn't expect him at all. Top it all off with Davina's family refusing to come to her wedding. Now that's the second time (Courtney being the first) that the family refused to see their daughter wed. It's not like they disapproved of the groom because they didn't know him. Most parents, even if they can't stand who their child is marrying will show up to support them on their wedding day.

You're right - it's because many family members don't want to be filmed so you don't get the full picture. While they may have been there in different scenarios, they didn't want to be on camera so it appears as if their relationships are strained or non-existent. Also, a lot of it is edited out if it's not entertaining enough or doesn't fit. I know because I was part of it! None of us really had any notice - about a week - and this was all filmed during holidays and while we had to go on with our normal crappy lives like work. 

[SaucyMommy]

You're right - it's because many family members don't want to be filmed so you don't get the full picture. While they may have been there in different scenarios, they didn't want to be on camera so it appears as if their relationships are strained or non-existent. Also, a lot of it is edited out if it's not entertaining enough or doesn't fit. I know because I was part of it! None of us really had any notice - about a week - and this was all filmed during holidays and while we had to go on with our normal crappy lives like work. 

 

as in a family member or participant?

[Liberty]

... I know because I was part of it! .. 

Tell all!

[JapMo]

 

You're right - it's because many family members don't want to be filmed so you don't get the full picture. While they may have been there in different scenarios, they didn't want to be on camera so it appears as if their relationships are strained or non-existent. Also, a lot of it is edited out if it's not entertaining enough or doesn't fit. I know because I was part of it! None of us really had any notice - about a week - and this was all filmed during holidays and while we had to go on with our normal crappy lives like work.

 

How interesting. You are a friend/family member of one of the couples. Well, I won't ask any more questions because I don't want to get you in trouble. But thanks for the explanation.

[sleekandchic]

You know what I thought was weirder than the sudden angry explosion over the wedding money? The fact that the wedding money was discussed in an earlier scene at all. It came out of left field.

In that earlier scene, Jessica and Ryan discussed spending vs saving money, eating out, cooking, grocery shopping, then, suddenly Ryan said, you can keep the wedding money. Jessica said no, that money is for both of us, to do something special together.

At the time, I wondered, gee. Nobody ever talked about cash gifts before. I actually assumed few people would gift the newlyweds anything at all under the circumstances. Wait the full six weeks, at least! Why throw away a gift or cash on people who might move on after six weeks?

Was Jessica like Connie Corleone with the lace bag collecting the cold cash on wedding day? Did her stepdad and mom do a very foolish thing and write a big check?

But, gotta tell ya, when the pilfering of the $100 and the $30 exploded into a mushroom cloud, I did get VERY suspicious, simply because the introduction of the wedding cash topic earlier seemed totally gratuitous. You know? Like a storyline setup?

And then we got kinda comical. He said, you moved my sweatpants! She said, you moved the tv! Ironing on the bed vs ironing on a plastic endtable! Stupidity.

Edited April 29, 2015 by sleekandchic

[JapMo]

 

You know what I thought was weirder than the sudden angry explosion over the wedding money? The fact that the wedding money was discussed in an earlier scene at all. It came out of left field.

In that earlier scene, Jessica and Ryan discussed eating out, cooking, grocery shopping, then, suddenly Ryan said, you can keep the wedding money. Jessica said no, that money is for both of us, to do something special together.

At the time, I wondered, gee. Nobody ever talked about cash gifts before. I actually assumed few people would gift the newlyweds anything at all under the circumstances. Wait the full six weeks, at least! Why throw away a girt or cash on people who might move on after six weeks?

Was Jessica like Connie Corleone with the lace bag collecting the cold cash on wedding day? Did her stepdad and mom do a very foolish thing and write a big check?

But, gotta tell ya, when the pilfering of the $100 and the $30 exploded into a mushroom cloud, I did get VERY suspicious, simply because the discussion earlier seemed totally random. You know? Like a storyline setup?

And then we got kinda comical. He said, you moved my sweatpants! She said, you moved the tv! Ironing on the bed vs ironing on a plastic endtable! Stupidity.

I don't remember the couples getting anything last season, or at least they didn't show it. All they seemed to have was the one envelope that told them where they were going on their honeymoon. So when they all had envelopes this season that they were opening up, I was kind of surprised. But you are right about waiting to see if they stay together. Of course you can do that if you are a friend or like distant relative like a cousin, but if you were a parent or sibling, you'd really have to cough up right away so it wouldn't look like you were convinced they were nuts.

[sleekandchic]

JapMo, are you saying all three couples opened cash gift envelopes? From the show itself? I missed that.

[MsPH]

In the wedding night and morning after episode, Ryan and Jessica were opening the gift envelopes from their wedding guests and they all had money inside. They seemed surprised too at the generosity on such short notice. I don't think it happened with the other couples unless it was left out.

[MsPH]

Man in charge does not mean immature chauvanist. You can be a leader and still be very considerate of your women's feelings. Ryan is macho with a big ego. There's nothing more to him. 

 

Seriously. I think she just knows she's an indecisive mess, so she wants a man who can take the lead while still being respectful. How exactly has Ryan taken charge? By swiping the towel swans off the bed regardless of her feelings? By tipping the kayak twice regardless of her feelings? Speeding with the jetski regardless of her feelings? Taking over the whole closet and yelling at her for ironing on the bed? I'm having trouble seeing those things as "taking charge", more like being an inconsiderate ass.

 

She also asked for someone who would have her back. Did she get that? I don't think so. 

[Neurochick]

Man in charge does not mean immature chauvanist. You can be a leader and still be very considerate of your women's feelings. Ryan is macho with a big ego. There's nothing more to him. 

 

But that's a two way street.  I don't see Jessica as being considerate of Ryan's feelings.  Just because Jessica is a woman doesn't make her innocent, or a victim.  I see her as passive aggressive all the way.  

 

She says she loves to cook, yet she doesn't cook?  Then why say you love to cook?  

 

Whenever someone says they want a person to be respectful, I want to ask, what exactly do you mean by that?  Does everybody have to walk on eggshells all the time?  Both men and women are allowed to have their feelings.  I think Jessica doesn't even know what she wants or what she's feeling half the time.

Edited April 30, 2015 by Neurochick

[Soup333]

I think that she's the type of person who holds everything in and then explodes at the first opportunity. His comment was about her cooking, but she used that "tiff" to say what she was really feeling about the money. Why didn't she say something about the $100 when she found out it was missing? That's how adults do things. If my SPOUSE waits hours/days/weeks to say how they're feeling about something I did, I'm going to be pissed off that they waited that long. I understand that she feels like she doesn't want to say anything because other guys have done her wrong, but one day she will have to get over that or else she's going to have this exact problem forever. No matter who she's with. She's been hurt, you can tell. Deeply. Most of the shit that Ryan says I would blow off or make a sarcastic comment about.

 

"Yo, you took $100? What? Did you buy sushi without me?"

 

Jessica doesn't have the self-esteem to do that and she takes everything to heart. 

 

All that said, him saying, "I'm good without you," is really messed up. She hurt his feelings by making that "hard for money" comment. They don't know each other at all. 

[zxy556575]

I don't want to take one question out of hundreds on the show's tests/questionnaires/instruments and base my opinion solely on that, but I agree that wanting a man who will "take charge" doesn't necessarily equate to wanting a man who will steamroll over you, or berate and belittle.

 

Jessica -- well, I don't know what the hell she really wants except no more sushi -- but I honestly don't interpret "take charge" to mean anything more than someone who makes a lot of the decisions because she's too insecure to.

Edited April 30, 2015 by lordonia

[JaneVM]

If the marriages are legally legit, then I see Jessica and Ryan staying married past the 6 weeks only because the show needs 2 couples for their "Married at First Sight: The First Year".

[Snarklepuss]

Jessica asked for a man in charge and she got that, but now she is unhappy about it.  Watching them closely it's clear Jessica is the one that starts the arguments by lashing out at nearly all things Ryan says.  For example when he politely said, "Maybe you could cook.  But I don't want to beg" she blew-up over a simple request.  She was the one that belittled Ryan by calling his actions "just crazy" when he said he ate out each day spending $50.00 each time.  And now it's clear they are spending double that.  Plus she was adamant about wanting to cook for them, not eat out.   But she didn't mean that either...she was at the time of her offer simply taking another opportunity to put Ryan's down/make him look bad in comparison to her.

 

She continues to be a master of the passive-aggressive personality type...she is winning at making Ryan look bad.  Although the ratios on that statistic (Ryan vs. Jessica) are greatly narrowing after this last episode.

 

And obviously he was angry when she blurted out that he was "down on cash".  He has great pride on being perceived as well to do and she knows that.  Also, she had already taken cash from their wedding money, but because he took more or just took some period she was mad...she wants and needs to wear the pants in a relationship.

 

I think deep down Jessica wants a "take charge" kind of guy so that she can twist things around and engage in table turning to make it look like the guy is victimizing her.  She is acting on the show like she wants sympathy so that people will think the guy's the villain and won't see the big problems SHE has.  I personally see her as one of those martyr types who carries a cross so that everyone can see how put upon she is and how unfair it all is to her.  But that's just a cover for someone who is deeply angry and looking to get back at men for whatever was done to her by a man that made her feel victimized, maybe in childhood.  I agree she wants to wear the pants in the family.  She is the one who wants to de-masculate, de-throne and get even with a guy in "payment" for whatever she has fantasized he has done wrong to her, so that he's the scapegoat for whoever in her past victimized her.  She wants to do this so that she can be the one in charge, not the guy.

Edited April 30, 2015 by Snarklepuss

[Liberty]

After reading many posts about Jessica & Ryan here are two more:

 

Why didn't they use the wedding money to buy an ironing board?

 

Frequently people have a different perception of themselves than the world has of them.  For instance I have a brother-in-law who takes on projects that will be helpful, but never finishes the project and actually is not helpful.  His perception of his action is 'I'm a helpful giving fellow", the world's perception is 'he never finishes the project'.  This could be what Jessica is all about with the cooking thing.  She may think she wants to cook for her husband, but when push comes to shove she can't do it, her heart may be in the right place, but the effort overcomes the intention.  She may think the "cooking wife" is a wonderful ideal and that by saying she wants to be a "cooking wife" she is a "cooking wife".

 

As viewers we are at the mercy of the editors/directors, and weekly we see a show that the editors/directors create to maintain our interest.  Characters fall in and out of favor, but they are the same people they always where, it is a matter of the editors/directors revealing what they believe will keep us tuning in.

 

 

[Snarklepuss]

I think under normal circumstances Jessica likes to cook, but speaking as someone who likes to cook myself, if I'm not near a pantry stocked with spices and other staples, and I don't have my favorite pots and pans with me, cooking can become a major undertaking.  Plus they have a camera crew in their faces a lot of the time and they live in an area where if they don't have a car with them, getting everything needed might require being taken to a market and back.  There are a few specialty markets nearby and a C-Town a few blocks away so it's not impossible, but Jessica is out of her comfort zone and under a fair amount of stress in the situation so those things might also make her not feel in the mood to cook (plus the reasons other posters have speculated too).

[Nancybeth]

I tend to think Jessica doesn't cook for him because she doesn't want Ryan to be critical of whatever she makes and snarky and mean.  I also think she's one of those people who, when asked a question, is all, "I don't know, whatever you want to [eat][do][buy] is fine," but it's really NOT fine and she's passive aggressive about it. I have friends like that and it's super-annoying.  I mean, everyone occasionally has one of those, "I just can't make a decision," moments, but you can't be like that all the time. 

[MsPH]

I think under normal circumstances Jessica likes to cook, but speaking as someone who likes to cook myself, if I'm not near a pantry stocked with spices and other staples, and I don't have my favorite pots and pans with me, cooking can become a major undertaking.  Plus they have a camera crew in their faces a lot of the time and they live in an area where if they don't have a car with them, getting everything needed might require being taken to a market and back.  There are a few specialty markets nearby and a C-Town a few blocks away so it's not impossible, but Jessica is out of her comfort zone and under a fair amount of stress in the situation so those things might also make her not feel in the mood to cook (plus the reasons other posters have speculated too).

 

I agree with that. And let's not forget Ryan's reaction to Jessica saying she wants to cook for him rather than eat out every day. He wasn't all enthusiastic about it, he was like "If that's what she wants to do, then I can compromise". He called eating her cooking instead of take-away compromise. He's not Vaughn, expecting to have home-cooked meals. He seems to prefer eating out or having take-away, so Jessica might not want to push her cooking on him just yet, thinking he's happier doing what he usually does. Then all of a sudden he's annoyed that she doesn't cook for him. I can see Jess being taken aback by it, though she did overreact in that moment.

[JapMo]

 

JapMo, are you saying all three couples opened cash gift envelopes? From the show itself? I missed that.

 

I don't know if it was cash except for JesRy. But I'm pretty sure S&D were looking at cards together...now whether there was money in them was not discussed. Can't remember about JacRy. But as I said, I don't remember any references to that last season.

[Neurochick]

I think the problem is that Ryan didn't just marry Jessica, he married Jessica and her 1893878373 suitcases from her last relationship.  Also, Jessica didn't just marry Ryan, she married Ryan and his 191871790303 suitcases, from seeing his grandparents and thinking their relationship was the best.  Both of them are carrying way too much baggage to start a new relationship.  

 

Jessica needs to put down the baggage of her last relationships, meaning, "Don't do to me what the last guy did."  Ryan also has to realize that his grandparents probably married at a time where women HAD to get married for financial reasons.  I mean, my mother couldn't even get a credit card in her name until the 1970's.  

[JapMo]

 

If the marriages are legally legit, then I see Jessica and Ryan staying married past the 6 weeks only because the show needs 2 couples for their "Married at First Sight: The First Year".

 

That could be true, but I would think most people would give a marriage more than 6 weeks, even under these extreme circumstances, unless they are completely incompatible. There's always that thought that you want to try everything before throwing in the towel. In Vaughn & Monet's case, they were both on the same page....GET ME OUT OF THIS ASAP.

 

I think deep down Jessica wants a "take charge" kind of guy so that she can twist things around and engage in table turning to make it look like the guy is victimizing her.  She is acting on the show like she wants sympathy so that people will think the guy's the villain and won't see the big problems SHE has.  I personally see her as one of those martyr types who carries a cross so that everyone can see how put upon she is and how unfair it all is to her.  But that's just a cover for someone who is deeply angry and looking to get back at men for whatever was done to her by a man that made her feel victimized, maybe in childhood.  I agree she wants to wear the pants in the family.  She is the one who wants to de-masculate, de-throne and get even with a guy in "payment" for whatever she has fantasized he has done wrong to her, so that he's the scapegoat for whoever in her past victimized her.  She wants to do this so that she can be the one in charge, not the guy.

 

I did find it telling that as soon as she got back from the honeymoon, she invited her friend over to talk crap about Ryan after they supposed had made up. I know the producers might have pushed her to keep the "blow-up" going, but I thought that was a crummy thing to do.

[JapMo]

 

I think the problem is that Ryan didn't just marry Jessica, he married Jessica and her 1893878373 suitcases from her last relationship.  Also, Jessica didn't just marry Ryan, she married Ryan and his 191871790303 suitcases, from seeing his grandparents and thinking their relationship was the best.  Both of them are carrying way too much baggage to start a new relationship.  

 

Jessica needs to put down the baggage of her last relationships, meaning, "Don't do to me what the last guy did."  Ryan also has to realize that his grandparents probably married at a time where women HAD to get married for financial reasons.  I mean, my mother couldn't even get a credit card in her name until the 1970's.

 

Yes, I agree. And I think they can do this. But they need intervention from the experts. Jessica's pity party is always just simmering under the surface. Ryan's foot-in-the-mouth disease needs to be toned down big time. They don't see their flaws...especially Ryan. I thought the experts were very helpful last season but I'm surprised they haven't done one-on-ones with these people yet.

[SaucyMommy]

Yes the experts just threw them together and have done nothing to help this season

[Snarklepuss]

I agree with that. And let's not forget Ryan's reaction to Jessica saying she wants to cook for him rather than eat out every day. He wasn't all enthusiastic about it, he was like "If that's what she wants to do, then I can compromise". He called eating her cooking instead of take-away compromise. He's not Vaughn, expecting to have home-cooked meals. He seems to prefer eating out or having take-away, so Jessica might not want to push her cooking on him just yet, thinking he's happier doing what he usually does. Then all of a sudden he's annoyed that she doesn't cook for him. I can see Jess being taken aback by it, though she did overreact in that moment.

 

You know, when I was single I ate out a lot and wasn't into home cooking either but I think when people get married they tend to get invested in the idea of having a home and doing things *together* like making a point to cook and eat at least one or two home cooked meals together a week if possible.  They see the importance in doing that as a way to keep them bonded together as a family.  These two are not coming together like that at all and it's disturbing to watch.  He's not on board with home cooked meals and grocery shopping and she's not on board with perhaps ignoring him and cooking a damned good meal to get his head out of his rear end about this and stop thinking like a single person (the way to a man's heart, after all....).

[HumblePi]

I just don't get these two at all, they just talk like two crazy people. They eat sushi 'nearly every night' according to Jessica. Ryan likes sushi, well no.... he LOVES sushi about a kabillion times more than he loves Jessica, that's obvious. Ryan sits his ass on the kitchen counter but he bitched to Jessica about her ironing on the bed? Wassup wid dat!? Oh yeah right, Ryan your ass doesn't have any stinky poo germs but an iron heated to 150 degrees does, right?  "SLAP" And you Jess, what is up with your complaining that you're sick of sushi but on the other side of your face you're talking about how much you love love love to cook and yet....there's no cooking being done anywhere that I can see. Wassup wid dat!? "SLAP"

 

I almost feel with these two that they communicate with each other like a search-and-find word puzzle. They look for things to be angry about, they enjoy the discord and arguments. They aren't even trying, not one bit.

 

Ryan's brain at suppertime

 

Jess says "I don't get it. I would rather cook, of course, but I really don't appreciate how he speaks to me". What does one thought have to do with the other?  If you like to cook, then cook! Have a few pots on the stove with heat under them cooking something when he comes home. There...you cooked, that problem is solved. Now, deal with how he communicates with you only now he cannot communicate that you aren't cooking. If he doesn't like the food you cook, or complains in any way about the food, then hand him the phone and order up some sushi. There, all fixed

Edited May 2, 2015 by HumblePi