Jessica & Ryan D

[MsPH]

Lol those were straight up stripper moves. But whatever she has her past. But was does bother me is that nothing in that video shows me someone cannot speak uo for themself. If you are that bold to parade in the street in broad daylight in your undies, then how are you not able to communicate your wants and needs to your partner? Or were we all subject to community college acting 101?

 

There are shy girls who do porn. A low self-esteem actually often goes hand in hand with stuff like that. When you think little of yourself you easily think your body is the only thing you have to offer. Having men lust after you makes you feel like you're worth something. It doesn't mean you're truly confident and it takes confidence to be able to speak up. When you're insecure, you avoid doing anything that might make your partner run. You don't realize that if they do, they're not worth your time anyway. It's got nothing whatsoever to do with parading around in your underwear. You can be confident about your appearance, yet terribly insecure about your personality and needs. That leads to relying on your looks.

[Bella]

There are shy girls who do porn. A low self-esteem actually often goes hand in hand with stuff like that. When you think little of yourself you easily think your body is the only thing you have to offer. Having men lust after you makes you feel like you're worth something. It doesn't mean you're truly confident and it takes confidence to be able to speak up. When you're insecure, you avoid doing anything that might make your partner run. You don't realize that if they do, they're not worth your time anyway. It's got nothing whatsoever to do with parading around in your underwear. You can be confident about your appearance, yet terribly insecure about your personality and needs. That leads to relying on your looks.

 

I completely agree with the quoted post.

 

On the Cooking Channel, there was a show about students at a culinary arts school for two seasons entitled The Freshman Year or something like that. One of the people followed was a young woman who'd had a baby as a single mom. She was a stripper in order to provide a decent living for the child, but her goal was to switch professions before the kid was old enough to ask about work and she decided that she wanted to be a chef. She was rather quiet and shy, and while I don't think she was exactly insecure, she did have trouble speaking up about her needs.

 

If Jessica was involved in this kind of thing, then that's another flaw of MAFS Season 2. Aside from the fact that the matching was all wrong and the "experts" denied all responsibility for it, the editing didn't show us key things about these people. What if they'd matched them up and shown us why it didn't work? That would still be messing with people's lives, but it might have been more ... honest is not the word I want, but I can't come up with another one.

[rulesoftravel]

It's a video.  It's a job.   I doubt it's truly representative of her moral standards or lack of said.    I mean, have you see Madonna.  Have you noticed that women are mostly naked at award shows.   OTOH, she really had a better body then.

[Neurochick]

It's a video.  It's a job.   I doubt it's truly representative of her moral standards or lack of said.    I mean, have you see Madonna.  Have you noticed that women are mostly naked at award shows.   OTOH, she really had a better body then.

 

I agree with this.  I don't agree 100% with the whole psychology of why people do the things they do.  Maybe she wanted to be a model/actress and felt this job would get her some fame.  I mean Jennifer Lopez started as a "Fly Girl" on In Living Color.

[moonxyz]

There are shy girls who do porn. A low self-esteem actually often goes hand in hand with stuff like that. When you think little of yourself you easily think your body is the only thing you have to offer. Having men lust after you makes you feel like you're worth something. It doesn't mean you're truly confident and it takes confidence to be able to speak up. When you're insecure, you avoid doing anything that might make your partner run. You don't realize that if they do, they're not worth your time anyway. It's got nothing whatsoever to do with parading around in your underwear. You can be confident about your appearance, yet terribly insecure about your personality and needs. That leads to relying on your looks.

 

My read on her is attention whore mainly. Not just because of the video but because of her SM antics (followed her briefly on instagram, had enough of the duck face selfies and self-agrandising inspirational quotes) coupled with her "modelling" pictures and acting background. At the etime the show aired, I was under the impression that it was a hobby, but up until a couple of weeks before the show, she was giving out interviews about wanting to become a household name. But ITA, she's insecure. 

I agree with this.  I don't agree 100% with the whole psychology of why people do the things they do.  Maybe she wanted to be a model/actress and felt this job would get her some fame.  I mean Jennifer Lopez started as a "Fly Girl" on In Living Color.

 

Exactly. My point is that her intentions were never true. She wans't just some girl looking for love. Her primary goal was to be on TV. My issue that she was portraying herself as sincere but IMO she had ulterior motives, They all did but Jessica went way out of her way to portray herself as something she isn't ( I would put her in the same group and Sean and Ryan R). Ryan D was/is a punk with abusive tendencies but he was 100% (fortunately and unfortunately). i don't belive for one second that she is unable to handle confrontation, nor that she is the sweet wallflower that was finally able to find her voice thanks to this show. 

Edited August 10, 2015 by moonxyz

[moonxyz]

I'm not going to call into question everything she's ever said and done because she did this stupid video. But this video, combined with the behavior we saw at the reunion (specifically, bragging about the watch smashing) make me wonder. Well, that, and hearing that the court date was postponed because of skeletons in her closet (what is the deal with that?).

 

The experts say they did did all of this homework but they missed this video. Ryan (who clearly has problems of his own, don't get me wrong) seemed like he wanted to marry a conservative woman, maybe even a former nun (his expectations were pretty ridiculous...but whatever. I'm talking about Jessica here in the context of the video). It's pretty clear to me that Ryan would not have been comfortable with marrying someone who is willing to put it all on display like that. Expert fail.

FWIW, I think Madonna is a huge bitch with a god complex regardless of whether she's or not she's wearing clothes :P

Some who do sex work have low-esteem, others definitely donot; it depends on the person and the circumstances surrounding the choice (and sometimes it isn't always a "choice") to go into sex work.

 

This is a very good point. During the RO shenanigans on SM, Ryan's friends stated that the rift between he and Jessica was in part due to her past. She used to be bottle waitress with allegedly a reputation for being easy and may have slept with Ryan's firends. I'm sure Ryan isn't a virgin but he's the type of macho that would reject a girl for sleeping around. But I really doubt the experts took into account this very important fact. 

[Snarklepuss]

I agree with this.  I don't agree 100% with the whole psychology of why people do the things they do.  Maybe she wanted to be a model/actress and felt this job would get her some fame.  I mean Jennifer Lopez started as a "Fly Girl" on In Living Color.

 

Yeah, but there are many other ways of going about getting fame, without basically exposing most of your ass and gyrating over men with it.  I doubt she didn't have a choice to do something else.  And I don't get the comparison to J-Lo because I watched "In Living Color" and I don't remember any of those girls acting so pornographic and exposing their asses like that on national TV.  But I basically agree with gimme that she's at least an attention whore, if not the other kind....

[algebra]

So basically Jessica was a "video vixen?"

As for cooking, IMO knowing how to cook can save you plenty of money; processed food is expensive and unhealthy; when I cook for myself I lose weight, when I eat processed shit, I gain.

I live on salad greens and cottage cheese

[algebra]

I don't think there's anything pornographic in that video, it was a job. No more disreputable than modeling for Victoria's Secret, even if she's not wearing wings. If you think the only difference between a slut and an angel is wings, you have issues.

As for skeletons, the experts didn't bother to look into anybody's past, that much was obvious. The Season 2 participants were chosen for their looks, period. Then they were matched up to be as incompatible as possible. If they had not been told, at the beginning, that they were matched using "scientific instruments," none of the women would have expended the efforts they did to make the marriages work. (Thinking back to how Jessica just kept saying she needed to work on communication skills, I think "how pathetic.") Nobody in the audience would have continued to watch these train wrecks play out.

Knowing this now, what motivation does anybody have to watch Season 3? As far as I have been able to tell, the show has not been renewed. The six weeks are up. It's a pretty sure bet that if the Season 3 couples didn't stay together, the advertisers aren't going to buy this one. The casting calls have ceased so either they have a large enough pool from which to select Season 4 participants, or they aren't going to bother.

Did any of you take the time to look at episode 5 of Brooklyn (whatever zip code it was)? Ryan was not some successful entrepreneur with a good income, classy wardrobe, and a Beemer. DeNino isn't even his last name. Perhaps the Brooklyn show was just an act, and that's not really who he is, either. But the same friends showed up in MAFS, so I think that is who he is. When that bunch showed up at the apartment I was wondering why a successful businessman had anything to do with people like that.

[Liberty]

....As for skeletons, the experts didn't bother to look into anybody's past, that much was obvious.....

 

The experts seem to be an ever greater part of this shows shortcomings.

[Snarklepuss]

I don't think there's anything pornographic in that video, it was a job. No more disreputable than modeling for Victoria's Secret, even if she's not wearing wings. If you think the only difference between a slut and an angel is wings, you have issues.

 

Nothing pornographic?  Obviously you and I have different definitions of pornographic.  I doubt that video would get anything less than an "R" rating if it were in a full length movie, so that's debatable, and that's not just based on the scanty clothing either, but the behavior.  And as far as I know, Victoria's Secret models don't go parading around on city streets in public with most of their asses hanging out and nothing but floss in their butt cheeks, unless something has radically changed in the past couple of years that I don't know about.  So I don't think it's an even comparison by any means.

[Neurochick]

Nothing pornographic?  Obviously you and I have different definitions of pornographic.  I doubt that video would get anything less than an "R" rating if it were in a full length movie, so that's debatable, and that's not just based on the scanty clothing either, but the behavior.  And as far as I know, Victoria's Secret models don't go parading around on city streets in public with most of their asses hanging out and nothing but floss in their butt cheeks, unless something has radically changed in the past couple of years that I don't know about.  So I don't think it's an even comparison by any means.

 

To me it looked like every other Reggaeton/Hip Hop video that's aired in the past five years.

[Kiss my mutt]

It didn't look pornographic, just stupid. Jessica sure didn't have that body on MAFS.

[Gigi43]

Jessica was the one who tried out for season 1 right? I wonder if a part of why she wasn't picked for season 1 was because they already had Jamie's Bachelor past, and having Jessica too would have made the show look too famewhorish. One girl having a past, okay, two it gets shifty.

 

I think any time you go on a reality show like this you need to know there's a chance you'll encounter pure famewhores. In the case of Ryan and Jessica, it didn't take much for anyone to find out they had been on past shows/did modeling ect. They could have Googled each other. The others didn't have it "out there" they could maybe just be in it for fame. Ryan and Jessica did. Even with Ryan looking really, really, bad, until the court papers, I thought maybe there was a chance these two were in cahoots, and there was a chance they were desperate enough to accept looking so crappy and maybe try for one of these "celebrity relationship therapy" shows or a season of First Year where Ryan works out his issues, but the court filing made it real for me. The show should never put someone on the show who stated they have anger issues, like Ryan did, and vetting that way should be done to a tee. The show stating everyone would have STD tests and not doing them is outright disgusting and something the girls have every right to be furious about.  But on the sole point of getting mixed up with a fame whore on a reality show, isn't something I'm not gonna feel overly sorry for either for, especially because there were signs in some of their previous "work". 

Edited August 10, 2015 by Gigi43

[moonxyz]

Another possible angle of the « skeletons in the closet » thing is Jess's inconsistant behaviour on SM. Jess was all chummy with Ryan weeks after the reunion was taped. From my understanding the reunion was taped around 5/8/2015. But long after that, Jess was still flirting with Ryan on instagram: http://iconosquare.com/viewer.php#/detail/992335785206080151_36571911. There were other SM pictures of them posted after the reunion taping that she has since deleted.

 

So this guy threatened you and your family but you're flirting with him on SM? What changed between then and filling the restraining order? At the time, I think the news agencies stated the RO pertained to what went on at the reunion. Why not file the RO when the incident happen? There is a lie somewhere and I don't know who is telling it. 

[rulesoftravel]

 

I doubt that video would get anything less than an "R" rating if it were in a full length movie

Then it's not porn.  Porn is not rated R.      That's a hip hop video.   Like every other hip hop video.   And in case you don't watch DWTS, that stand over someone move is a staple.   And editing.  Maybe she's not standing over him in underwear...maybe it's just edited to look that way.   Whatever.  It's a job.  It's not a great job, but it's a job.   She actually is wearing more than the "angels."    If only she had been given wings.

 

And if Ryan slept with her the first night he met her, then he should not comment on her "past."   It just seems that different standards should not be applied to women than are applied to men.  

 

 

At the time, I think the news agencies stated the RO pertained to what went on at the reunion. Why not file the RO when the incident happen? There is a lie somewhere and I don't know who is telling it.

  It was reported that the show asked her to wait until after the reunion show had aired to file the restraining order.   But did provide her with security to and from her job at the law office.  So, that could be the reason.

I have zero idea who is more truthful of the two of them, but I just won't make a decision based on a tacky video and some hearsay.   

 

 

And this may be why the JLo comparison came up:

http://www.lovebscott.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/Jennifer-Lopez-2.jpg

Edited August 11, 2015 by rulesoftravel

[Snarklepuss]

For me it has nothing to do with the fact that Jessica is a female.  Ryan D is just as compromised morally in my book.  And I still stand to my beliefs about what constitutes porn.  No one can tell me whether I'm right or wrong to consider this to be pornographic.  I think Jessica demeaned herself by taking that video job.  Any time I think a person demeans themselves to star in something, that qualifies it as porn on my book.  For me the context is everything, and that was not the context that warranted her to act and dress that way without me thinking it demeaned her.  I don't get why Jessica is so defended when I think there's more than enough evidence that she's at least as vile a person as Ryan D. ever was, morally speaking and otherwise.  Put all those things together and she's no one I'd ever want to defend.

 

Jessica acts like a nasty shrew to Ryan and she is defended because Ryan D. is abusive - Just because he's abusive doesn't make her innocent of her own nasty behavior. 

 

Jessica sleeps with Ryan on the first day of meeting him and she is defended as if this is somehow morally fine.  I don't consider it morally fine for Ryan either but that doesn't diminish what she did. 

 

Jessica taunts Ryan on TV with a $100 bill like a vindictive bitch and she's defended because "he deserved it".   Anyone who would go to those lengths on national TV to stir the shit is not someone to be defended in my opinion.

 

Jessica stars in what I consider to be a trashy borderline-pornographic hip hop video and that's defended as just a perfectly run of the mill job like any other - I'm sorry but I don't care how supposedly acceptable that's become in the rest of society, it's never going to be so in my book, not now nor never.  Being a pole dancer is "just a job" too as is being a prostitute and I'll never defend those either.  I am sorry but my moral standards are much different and they're not going to change.  YMMV, but don't judge my beliefs.

Edited August 11, 2015 by Snarklepuss

[Bella]

Okay, we're NOT going to argue the meaning of porn, we're NOT going to slut-shame, we are NOT having the 8,000th debate about men and women being treated differently, we are NOT going there, period, end of discussion.

 

We are NOT. 

 

The mods have been watching this thread for a couple of days, and this discussion is finally at the tipping point. Everyone who's interested appears to have had their say and it appears there is nothing more to say. It's become very circular.

 

No more.

 

Noncompliant posts will be deleted henceforth.

[Neurochick]

I just want to know what happened to the court case.  Has it happened yet?  

[moonxyz]

@ Neurochick, According to gossip, it has been postponed to September, either because:

-Ryan is allgedly hadling another legal issue

-Ryan bought some time in order to dig some dirt on Jessica and clear his name. 

[cherry slushie]

I have to say, her body is slammin' in that vid!

[Lion18]

So basically Jessica was a "video vixen?"

As for cooking, IMO knowing how to cook can save you plenty of money; processed food is expensive and unhealthy; when I cook for myself I lose weight, when I eat processed shit, I gain.

. Wow. ITA. I cook 5/7 nights. If I don't eat I don't lose weight. If I eat process foods I gain. Difficult at my age. I can see why Ryan got irritated with Jess. She was an " actress"

[Neurochick]

OMFG, I think I saw Ryan D this morning in midtown Manhattan.  If not, the guy was a dead ringer for him.  If that was him, he's not that tall.

[cardigirl]

I swear it's Jessica's voice on the radio ad for Uber that I hear all the time.  Sounds exactly like her. 

[Neurochick]

Okay folks, now I'm totally sure it was Ryan I saw, he was right in front of me.  He's working in the same building where my institution has offices.  I saw him again early this morning.  He got out of a car (didn't see if it had commercial plates though), there was a woman with dark hair driving but I don't think it was Jessica.  

[algebra]

You mean he actually has a JOB???

[Neurochick]

You mean he actually has a JOB???

 

This was the second time I saw him go into this same building; the first time I wasn't sure it was him, but when I saw him yesterday, no doubt about it.  

[crazychicken]

Guess Jessica hasn't dropped everything after all

 

http://nypost.com/2015/11/19/reality-tv-show-tries-to-use-journalist-shield-law-to-protect-footage/

[moonxyz]

Guess Jessica hasn't dropped everything after all

 

http://nypost.com/2015/11/19/reality-tv-show-tries-to-use-journalist-shield-law-to-protect-footage/

She's actively trying to pursue her 15 seconds. She has a restraining order, what more does she want? money? Ryan to go in jail cause he publicly humiliated her?

 

This girl is fucking pscyco with too many issues. 

[crazychicken]

Never liked Jessica and can't stand Ryan. That said, I believe that if one goes around threatening to kill people, there should be consequences.

I agree while Jessica is not all innocent and light like she wants everybody to believe that does not mean Ryan shouldn't face consequences for threatening not just Jessica but her family as well twice it seems by the new articles released. Jessica recorded threats in March which a 'source' played for Intouch so they are real and she is still trying to get the audio from the reunion.

http://www.intouchweekly.com/posts/jessica-castro-ryan-de-nino-married-at-first-sight-divorce-79290

This one is more indepth she also has him admitting to dealing drugs and being in debt

http://hollywoodlife.com/2015/12/02/married-at-first-sight-death-threats-tape-ryan-de-nino-jessica-castro/

Even after all that he is still acting like a raging asshat

[moonxyz]

Never liked Jessica and can't stand Ryan. That said, I believe that if one goes around threatening to kill people, there should be consequences.

She had a restrainign order, dragged his name threw the ground. He is no longer a threat to her life. What should he pay for? Why? For humiliating a woman? shit, if that was the case, there would be thousands of billionaires running around the world. 

 

She needs to move on, and stop using this shit as a way yo stay in the limelight. 

[Neurochick]

She had a restrainign order, dragged his name threw the ground. He is no longer a threat to her life. What should he pay for? Why? For humiliating a woman? shit, if that was the case, there would be thousands of billionaires running around the world. 

 

She needs to move on, and stop using this shit as a way yo stay in the limelight. 

I kind of agree with this.  The problem today is that people take threats more seriously than they did 20, 30, 40 years ago.  If I had a dollar for every time someone said they were going to kick my ass, I'd be a rich woman.   Part of me thinks Jessica is being silly, I've seen Ryan, he's a weenie.  But today, people can get access to anything and hurt someone.