Michelle and JimBob aka J'Chelle and Boob

[kokapetl]

I'd describe Michelle as a high maintenance Disney animatronic that only functions 2 hours a day. 

[Arwen Evenstar]

7 minutes ago, Kokapetl said:

I'd describe Michelle as a high maintenance Disney animatronic that only functions 2 hours a day. 

You're being far too generous, Koka.  Boob only needs two minutes of her time.

[Defrauder]

How many years has it been since Michelle lost control of her hair?  In 14 Kids and Pregnant again, in the smaller house with 14 kids shoved in 2 bedrooms, she had some kind of reverse ombre for awhile but it was still all dried and permed out.  I mean deep condition it for awhile, every day for 2 weeks.  Get a decent cut maybe angle it toward the bottom, do something.  I really think JB has some kind of power in wanting her to keep her hair stupid looking.  He's afraid she might start mowing lawns again or something.

[Arwen Evenstar]

[larfs]

Her hair looked sooo much better when she had it cut here, but she hated it. But I definately think it's more to do with what JB wants. I'd feel sorry for the woman if she hadn't dropped 19 kids into this mess.

[Sew Sumi]

A little drifty, but I was reading a thread about Grandma Mary on FJ, and it occurred to me that while KJB (and assorted older daughters) have shown what great Christians they are in their "forgiveness"  of Smuggar's and Jeremy's prior transgressions, NONE of them gave Grandpa Duggar the same leeway after he passed away. 

Hell,Boob trashed him regularly on the speaking circuit, and the girls followed suit in their "relationships" book for crissakes! So much for forgiveness; I guess it's a fluid issue, depending on whether or not there's a buck to be made. 

[MargeGunderson]

I hadn't seen a picture of Michelle's makeover (or, let's be real, her make-under) before larfs posted it. She looks really pretty and so much younger! But as many have said before, she's stuck in the 80's when her life was good, forever with mall hair. 

[Tabbygirl521]

I had never seen made-over Michelle either. She looks gorgeous. I bet it was a much lower maintenance look, too. 

[cmr2014]

In defense of J'chelle, it's not unusual to have a hard time dealing with a big change like this -- lots of people end up crying when they get a new haircut. Most of us, though, get some positive reinforcement for a new look -- and I'm sure that J'chelle got none from the people who matter to her: JB and Gothard.

JB's dream girl is the chearleader from 198x, and I don't think he would give her any reinforcment for a new look. Then, of course, there is the fact that Gothard only approves of long, wavy hair on women. She's practically spitting on Jesus by having straight hair.

[Arwen Evenstar]

.....you're welcome

[Defrauder]

After Michelle deep conditions her hair for 2 weeks and gets a better cut she should soften the color a little bit, a chestnut brown - and if she dares add a few lighter highlights.  The base color can be like a Cindy Crawford type color.  The cut can be a side part (no bangs anymore) that gently angles toward the bottom. Then we can fix her makeup.

[RazzleberryPie]

I think she wants to keep the Crunchy Possum as much as JimBob does.

[MargeGunderson]

Given that her hair style really was popular in the 80s, maybe it's her way of continuing to feel pretty and desirable like she did when she was a teenager, since she can no longer wear bikinis or any of the other "defrauding" things she used to wear to feel cute. 

[Arwen Evenstar]

1 hour ago, RazzleberryPie said:

I think she wants to keep the Crunchy Possum as much as JimBob does.

Crunchy Possum? Hmmmm I see a new chocolate in the Whizzo Chocolate Assortment. I wonder if it will be more popular than Crunchy Frog.

[Defrauder]

OK now for JB's helmet lego hair.  I'm thinking bleached blonde and spikey. . Similar to Guy on the food channel.  This way when we look at him he won't remind us of himself anymore. 

[Arwen Evenstar]

33 minutes ago, Defrauder said:

OK now for JB's helmet lego hair.  I'm thinking bleached blonde and spikey. . Similar to Guy on the food channel.  This way when we look at him he won't remind us of himself anymore. 

Nice try, Defrauder...in the immortal words of the late Ann Richards: "You can put lipstick on a hog and call it 'Monique', but no matter how you look at it, it's still a pig."

Edited July 7, 2016 by Arwen Evenstar

[Sew Sumi]

8 hours ago, Defrauder said:

After Michelle deep conditions her hair for 2 weeks and gets a better cut she should soften the color a little bit, a chestnut brown - and if she dares add a few lighter highlights.  The base color can be like a Cindy Crawford type color.  The cut can be a side part (no bangs anymore) that gently angles toward the bottom. Then we can fix her makeup.

LOL, you just described my hair. As an age-peer of Dead Possumhead, it is entirely appropriate. I stopped perming my hair c.1990. Unlike her, I HAD to do it to get any body in my dead straight, baby fine cat hair. She has nice, thick hair that obviously blows out excellently. I can't imagine that blowing it out even halfway would take as much time as whatever torture she has been doing to it since the 80's.

eta: Ann Richards knew her way around a phrase. I miss that lady, and the woman who covered her, Molly Ivins. *sniffle*

Edited July 7, 2016 by Sew Sumi

[Arwen Evenstar]

1 hour ago, Sew Sumi said:

LOL, you just described my hair. As an age-peer of Dead Possumhead, it is entirely appropriate. I stopped perming my hair c.1990. Unlike her, I HAD to do it to get any body in my dead straight, baby fine cat hair. She has nice, thick hair that obviously blows out excellently. I can't imagine that blowing it out even halfway would take as much time as whatever torture she has been doing to it since the 80's.

eta: Ann Richards knew her way around a phrase. I miss that lady, and the woman who covered her, Molly Ivins. *sniffle*

Loved me some Molly Ivins.  We need people like her today to speak truth to power and call bullshit.  I'll leave it at that since I'd like to keep it apolitical and neutral.  Yeah I'm the same age as Michelle...I haven't permed or mulleted since my early 20s.

[Missy Vixen]

1 hour ago, Sew Sumi said:

LOL, you just described my hair. As an age-peer of Dead Possumhead, it is entirely appropriate. I stopped perming my hair c.1990. Unlike her, I HAD to do it to get any body in my dead straight, baby fine cat hair. She has nice, thick hair that obviously blows out excellently. I can't imagine that blowing it out even halfway would take as much time as whatever torture she has been doing to it since the 80's.

eta: Ann Richards knew her way around a phrase. I miss that lady, and the woman who covered her, Molly Ivins. *sniffle*

One of the greatest nights of my life was meeting Molly Ivins.

No perms for me. J-Chelle might be pleasantly surprised with her hair post-menopause if she'd quit perming hers.

[Sew Sumi]

True dat! I was perimenopausal when I had my hysto (bad fibroids and endometriosis; hormones made me crazy). Two years later, my hair has some curl and more body than it EVER had before. I can now wash it at night and let it air dry itself into soft waves (hopefully not wavy enough for Gothard!). 

Edited July 7, 2016 by Sew Sumi

[Jynnan tonnix]

11 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

True dat! I was perimenopausal when I had my hysto (bad fibroids and endometriosis; hormones made me crazy). Two years later, my hair has some curl and more body than it EVER had before. I can now wash it at night and let it air dry itself into soft waves (hopefully not wavy enough for Gothard!). 

Same here (perimenopausal hysterectomy - some seven years ago now). My hair was always naturally curly; I always let it air-dry and never straightened...The 80's were great for me as I got the "big hair" look without even trying. It was quite to very short for years, but I decided to have a final fling with longer hair about 4 years ago, and have really been enjoying it, even though I worry about coming across a bit Gothardy (especially since reading all the critiques of Michelle's hair here) or just stuck in a bygone era. Going to take this over to the prayer closet, though, as I'm actually looking for some hair-related advice and don't want to get off-topic.

[Sew Sumi]

Moved from the Religion thread:

Will KJB forgive Jeremy? Due to religious considerations, pictures of topless fiancees are usually deal breakers (please babby jeebus, please). Jock stuff  sets Boob off. He only gave Ben a pass because he could never dream of playing football. And he was still 17. Jeremy played professionally and is not 17. 

[kokapetl]

It's too late for Jimbob to protest. It's all been decided. Jinger and Jeremy shall be married, and Scott Enlow will be all up in there filming it. 

[Barb23]

On 6/12/2016 at 0:22 AM, Arwen Evenstar said:

 

[Barb23]

Regarding MEchelle's hair- I liked her makeover hair but also liked how it was on the beginning trailer for the show.  It looked like it had been blown straight then had some waves put in it. I think it was shorter  so it may have been shot when she was growing out the mop from the makeover. Much, much better than the crunchy curls of the 80's. 

[Missy Vixen]

14 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

Moved from the Religion thread:

Will KJB forgive Jeremy? 

One has to wonder if KJB will needle The Holy Goalie the same way he's needled his wife over the "mowing the lawn in a bikini" incident. Even better: Will The Holy Goalie haul off and give KJB the smackdown he's richly deserved for 30 years or so as a result?

[Arwen Evenstar]

[StaceyNotStacie]

Michelle with the straight hair somewhat resembles Grandma Duggar. 

[queenanne]

3 hours ago, Stacey1014 said:

Michelle with the straight hair somewhat resembles Grandma Duggar. 

My strong suspicion has been this is why she insisted on changing herself back!

[Jynnan tonnix]

27 minutes ago, queenanne said:

My strong suspicion has been this is why she insisted on changing herself back!

I hadn't thought of that (though I noticed the resemblance as well). It makes sense, though. At least as much as anything else around there.

[queenanne]

Yeah, I don't even want to look like a clone of the women on my side of the family, and it's not because they're not attractive ladies. It was probably a real eye opener that JimBoob would marry his mom, lol.

[Tabbygirl521]

So on the cover of this week's Life and Style, we find JB and Michelle. The headline is something like, "The Secret Affair That Did Them In." I may be paraphrasing. Sadly, I spotted this while checking out today at Fred Meyer, and there was no one in front of me so I had no time to check out the innards. Inquiring minds... Cuz I totally believe one of them had an affair and they are splitsville (eye roll).  

[Arwen Evenstar]

10 hours ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

So on the cover of this week's Life and Style, we find JB and Michelle. The headline is something like, "The Secret Affair That Did Them In." I may be paraphrasing. Sadly, I spotted this while checking out today at Fred Meyer, and there was no one in front of me so I had no time to check out the innards. Inquiring minds... Cuz I totally believe one of them had an affair and they are splitsville (eye roll).  

These tabloids...you have to fake them with a pillar of salt....there's a pic of a heavily pregnant Jessa holding up tabloids about her birth drama when she still hadn't given birth.

No doubt they will keep  speculating about Boob and Chelle getting a divorce until they finally do years later. For all their talk, I'm not sure what man, and particularly one who's so into submission and patriarchy, would tolerate a checked out wife who doesn't do anything but lie around all day.  No one would be surprised to learn that Michelle suffers from extreme mental illness and what's even more outrageous is their denial that such things exist.

[Arwen Evenstar]

[Arwen Evenstar]

Sorry, I just can't help myself.  Two months off work and a fortress has been built in my idle mind!

i know, I know...should be doing my wifely duties...cookin' , cleanin' , and joyful availability, and making him lunch...LOL

[Sew Sumi]

11 hours ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

So on the cover of this week's Life and Style, we find JB and Michelle. The headline is something like, "The Secret Affair That Did Them In." I may be paraphrasing. Sadly, I spotted this while checking out today at Fred Meyer, and there was no one in front of me so I had no time to check out the innards. Inquiring minds... Cuz I totally believe one of them had an affair and they are splitsville (eye roll).  

Tabloidspeak: "Secret affair" = Smuggar. "They" = entire family and (temporarily) the show. Nothing to see here...as usual.

[lulu69]

7 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

Tabloidspeak: "Secret affair" = Smuggar. "They" = entire family and (temporarily) the show. Nothing to see here...as usual.

That's better than my guess of it not being an actual affair but one 'of the heart'. You know, KJB seeing another woman's knees & lusting for said woman in a way that cannot be righteously fulfilled. 

Because there are SO many sluts that are dying to defraud Jim Blob & all lol

Edited July 9, 2016 by lulu69

[awaken]

On July 8, 2016 at 0:11 PM, Arwen Evenstar said:

Love it!  Thanks. You can add "and agreed to let God choose the size of their family."  

[Arwen Evenstar]

There'd be no room for that on the meme...lol

[Arwen Evenstar]

After birthing 19 kids, Michelle likely has the bones of a woman living in the third world. Pregnancy takes a lot out of a woman's body. She's no doubt depleted through to her bones.

[Arwen Evenstar]

http://duggarmemes.tumblr.com/image/108204371826

Warning...what is seen cannot be unseen

[tabloidlover]

57 minutes ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

After birthing 19 kids, Michelle likely has the bones of a woman living in the third world. Pregnancy takes a lot out of a woman's body. She's no doubt depleted through to her bones.

Not to mention the missing back muscle - that had to take a couple of inches off?

[Sew Sumi]

But...but...BUT SHE TOOK HER PRENATAL VITAMINS!!!!!11

I doubt she's ever had a dexascan. 

[Arwen Evenstar]

12 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

But...but...BUT SHE TOOK HER PRENATAL VITAMINS!!!!!11

I doubt she's ever had a dexascan. 

I don't wish any more problems on her...the mental and physical toll of all those  pregnancies glad to have been the cause of more than one laundry room breakdown 

[Sew Sumi]

My MIL has severe osteoperosis, and she only had two. Like Mechelle, she is small and petite of build, which are two main risk factors. I can't see any way that she has managed to avoid it. She's already visibly shrunken about two inches. I'd advise her to stay off the roller skates and climbing ladders in the future, just in case. 

[kokapetl]

Don't osteoporosis sufferers develop a dowager's hump? My 5'11 nanna has one. Michelle's back looks quite upright. 

[Sew Sumi]

I dunno. She seems a bit slumped to me, like she's losing her neck. It's hard to tell with all that hair. 

eta: In the past 15 months, my 84 MIL has broken a hip, a wrist (nice compound fracture there), and most recently, her humerus. No dowager's hump, though. So, MMV on that one. 

Edited July 9, 2016 by Sew Sumi

[RazzleberryPie]

Michelle was just short, never really petite, but she absolutely looks like she has osteoporosis. I bet her spine is also in terrible shape from all those pregnancies. No amount of vitamins can deplete what all those back to back pregnancies took, especially with their bad nutrition. 

Now James - he could easily have a late bloomer spurt and end up normal male adult height, and I think the average is only 5'9 in the US. Unless he just has a Duggar face and Michelle's genes, then he'll be luck to top out at 5'6" or so.

we have a close family friend who was a late bloomer and very self conscious about it. He said he looked 12 until he graduated highvschool and then at by 22 he was about 6 ft. He purposefully looked for the tallest girl he could find to marry, because he didn't want his kids to be tormented like he was. His wife is about 5'10" in her stocking feet. He says so many guys like him think they're looking manlier by choosing really short wives, like his brothers did, but then all their kids are even shorter.

now I have to add that he and his wife act completely smitten and her height was just the introductory factor in their getting together, but his strategy makes sense to me. JimBob only thinks of himself of course.

[louannems]

The dowager's humpback is caused by compression fractures, which is caused by osteoporosis.  Not everyone with osteoporosis will develop compression fractures.

 

I do wonder just how many inches Michelle has shrunk, though.

[Sew Sumi]

I want to say Mechelle started out around 5'3". Definitely no taller than that; I know it was mentioned in one of the books, but I'm not going to even bother googling it. And I disagree about her not being petite. She was teeny in that cheerleading pic, and in her wedding pictures. Sometimes being busty makes one look larger than they actually are, especially if one is vertically challenged (ask me how I know). I'm not busty, but I'm definitely NOT petite and look like a chunky monkey if I'm even 10 lbs. "overweight" (ask me how I know this, too :D ). I am not built like either Mechelle or my straight up stick MIL who is now overweight at a whopping 105. I doubt Mechelle weighs much more than 115 these days. For having 19 kids, that's pretty remarkable.