formerlyfreedom February 9, 2015 Share February 9, 2015 After an intense therapy session, Michelle organizes a day of fun with old friends, despite Brett’s lack of enthusiasm. When a group of hipsters looks to sour their plans, Michelle challenges them to a brutal game of “kick the can.” Link to comment
Primetimer February 16, 2015 Share February 16, 2015 Tara is not a crackpot. She just thinks you have to respect a sign-up sheet! Read the story 1 Link to comment
JeezLouise February 16, 2015 Share February 16, 2015 You are NOT a crackpot Tara. There aren't any other parks nearby? That said, I did appreciate how David brought strategy into the game. There is no way to kick that can by just randomly running around and hiding! 1 Link to comment
arc February 16, 2015 Share February 16, 2015 These little assholes are obviously terrible -- Mr. Members Only Short Shorts should definitely be on some kind of watch list -- but that doesn't change the fact that they reserved this field fair and square. Agreed 100%. Honestly, as much as hipsters are (I'm told) an epidemic in some parts of LA including wherever Michelle and Brett live, I feel like it's kind of cheating to make the episode antagonists this terrible. But on the other hand, I guess if they weren't beanie/toque-wearing kick-the-can-playing anti-fashionista hipsters, then there wouldn't be enough distraction from the fact that Michelle is clearly in the wrong. You know, at this point I actually don't see that much difference between Togetherness and Married. I think Married had a rougher start and all the leads there had resumes stuffed with more traditionally funny work, but as both shows have settled into their grooves, both are about middle-aged disappointment and dissatisfaction in LA among the middle-class. (And I think in both cases, setting their shows in LA works for their themes because to me, LA is about desires being out of reach. Most other cities, it's not like Brett and Michelle would be in the upper crust there either, but I think they wouldn't be quite as aware of how the wealthier and happier are living.) 4 Link to comment
ElectricBoogaloo February 16, 2015 Share February 16, 2015 (edited) Seeing the aftermath of counseling was awkwardly painful. I wish their therapist had talked to them about how to deal with what was said after they left though. Like are they supposed to talk about these issues outside of their sessions? Or are they supposed to put those things aside until their next session? I loved when one of Michelle and Brett's friends was running and then he said, "Stop!" so he could dry heave and spit a little and the hipster guy in the shorts totally stopped chasing him to let him almost puke. I really don't want to see Michelle have an affair with David but I can already see her subconsciously comparing him to Brett and seeing David as the one who is fun and game for anything. It's a totally unfair comparison because David is not carrying the burden of a troubled marriage with her. My guess is they don't go the cliche route of having Michelle and David sleeping together, then they will have her almost sleep with him and then realize she can't because she loves her husband too much to go through with it. The thing is that Brett isn't a bad guy and he is trying to be honest with her. In this particular case, she didn't get the answer she wanted and got upset so he tried to fix things by playing along aka not being completely honest. I see why he did it though. He loves her and wants her to be happy and wants things to be better between him, so why not say, "Yay, kickball!" if it will make her feel better after a brutal therapy session? And to be honest, I don't know what else he could have said right after that Barnes & Noble comment that would have made things better. I also understand Michelle's kickball suggestion though. She knew things were raw between them after therapy and she wanted to heal that by having fun together. I think that she thought having their friends together might take the pressure off of her and Brett to carry the entire experience too. Kickball is a game you play as a kid so I think she might have also thought that doing something that reminded them of being carefree would also help. I support Tina's fake it til you make it philosophy. I know that seems counter to being honest, but sometimes you have the luxury of wallowing and other times you just need to fake it until you are actually feeling it. As Tina said, she didn't actually want to be there but since she was there, she was going to be psyched about it anyway. There are some parks that allow you to reserve the field in advance and it looked like the hipster girl did actually do that (although she could have just been flashing any screen on her phone at Michelle to bluff about it). If that's the case, then sorry, Michelle, tough shit. As annoying as hipsters are, they signed up for that field so you have no right to expect to take it from them. Related story: a few months ago there was an incident in San Francisco. Dropbox employees reserved the field so when they showed up and there were some local kids already playing there, they got into a huge fight. It was a different situation though because the issue was that there has been a local tradition of kids having pick up games at the park and the parks department was letting people purchase a $27 permit to reserve the field at that time. The parks department has since changed the policy as a result of that situation. I think a huge part of the problem with reserving fields and park space in both the SF incident and the one on this show is that there is no posted schedule for the day so you don't know until someone else shows up and says they reserved it. If Michelle had arrived at the park and seen that someone else had already reserved the space and their time started in ten minutes, would she have dug in her heels so much? The other issue is that because there is no one from the parks department to confirm the reservation (meaning people can just lie and say they reserved it) or enforce the rules, it's left to the disputing parties to resolve the issue on their own. As anyone who has been in public recently, that can be a disaster waiting to happen. I was annoyed with Alex drunkenly trying to hook up with Tina. He knows that she is dating Sandy Cohen so kissing her is not cool. Edited February 16, 2015 by ElectricBoogaloo 2 Link to comment
peeayebee February 16, 2015 Share February 16, 2015 If Michelle had arrived at the park and seen that someone else had already reserved the space and their time started in ten minutes, would she have dug in her heels so much? I don't think she would have. Here she came to an empty field and staked her claim. When she saw the other people approaching she was obviously uncomfortable but still wanted the field and thought it was first come first served. Learning that you can reserve the field was embarrassing to her, but she couldn't back down because she needed a win. If she had come to the field and found people there already, she may have asked if she could have the field, but if refused, she wouldn't have had a leg to stand on. If she had come to the field and somehow immediately learned it had been reserved, I think she would have gone to another park. She wouldn't have had to save face. I loved this ep. It was painful in many places, but I love the realism of it. I am surprised the therapist didn't explain how to deal with the aftermath of the sessions, but it's not implausible that s/he didn't. I cringed when it was clear that Alex was going to kiss Tina. I wonder how their relationship will proceed. So funny when Alex compared Larry to a Bond villain. It's so true! The way he was holding his dog and petting it was just like a Bond villain and his cat. I didn't know there was really a game to kick the can. I didn't know there were rules. t just thought it was a bunch of kids kicking a can down the street. 3 Link to comment
blixie February 16, 2015 Share February 16, 2015 I think Michelle was obviously in the wrong, but I think they both would have reached the let's just play each other solution a lot faster, and everyone but Brett had a good time. Puking guy was hilarious. I'm pretty done pretending I'm not shipping Tina/Alex whole heartedly, despite the crash and burn make out. I think Tina is reluctant to have this friendship go that way, it's interesting to see Michelle work hard to make things fun with Brett, and Tina work so hard to stop having so much fun with Alex. Another great episode all around, heartbreaking and hilarious, and I have to say I felt for Michelle, I thought she handled his two major disses fairly well (I'd rather be by myself in a bookstore, and I'm faking this because the carcass of our marriage is on my back). I felt bad for both of them, and while I still hope they work it out, it's looking pretty dire, especially with charming David making it so easy to blur the lines. 2 Link to comment
Lone Wolf February 16, 2015 Share February 16, 2015 (edited) Seeing the aftermath of counseling was awkwardly painful. I wish their therapist had talked to them about how to deal with what was said after they left though. Like are they supposed to talk about these issues outside of their sessions? Or are they supposed to put those things aside until their next session? that would have made things better. That may be typical. Years ago I lived with a woman who had undergone fairly intensive therapy and ultimately quit. She said that it was great for dredging up suppressed memories and understanding (at least somewhat) why she was the way she was, but it didn't really give her the tools to deal with what she had learned. Another great episode all around, heartbreaking and hilarious, and I have to say I felt for Michelle, I thought she handled his two major disses fairly well (I'd rather be by myself in a bookstore, and I'm faking this because the carcass of our marriage is on my back). I felt bad for both of them, and while I still hope they work it out, it's looking pretty dire, especially with charming David making it so easy to blur the lines. I felt for Brett (maybe because I'm the same way - I need to process things on my own). It seemed to me that Michelle more or less brow beat him into kickball. She could have accomplished the same thing by letting him *go* to B&N for a few hours and then they could have had her little Escape From Reality if that's how she needed to handle it. Which I guess was kind of where it was going (on a much smaller scale) when Tina more or less brow beat Brett into giving up his alone time in the car. I'd have told her to fuck the fuck off, but he's seems to be so beaten down that he's just trying to avoid conflict, even if it's to his own detriment. BTW, my (second-hand knowledge/anecdotal evidence) experience is that marriage therapy tends to be a grasping-at-straws/too little, too late attempt to put a band aid on a wound that needs stitches. Time will tell whether these two are going to be able to pull up out of the downward spiral that their marriage is in, but I agree with you re: the complications that David represents. Edited February 16, 2015 by Lone Wolf 3 Link to comment
BooBear February 16, 2015 Share February 16, 2015 I'm pretty done pretending I'm not shipping Tina/Alex whole heartedly, despite the crash and burn make out. I think Tina is reluctant to have this friendship go that way, it's interesting to see Michelle work hard to make things fun with Brett, and Tina work so hard to stop having so much fun with Alex. Was it me or what that kiss HOT? At least Alex can pretend he was drunk. I feel bad for MIchelle and Brett but this episode was the first one where I questioned if they should be together. They just don't seem to like the same things or think the same way. Playing kick ball was the opposite of what Brett would like to do and it almost always seems they are opposites struggling with each other. Maybe the audience needs a flashback so we can see a time they were more intune. 2 Link to comment
qtpye February 16, 2015 Share February 16, 2015 Because I read the Tom and Lorenzo blog on fashion, I have become obsessed with costuming. Did anyone notice how they went out of their way to make Michelle look bad this episode in their wardrobe? I am not saying that you have to dress up for you therapist, but Michelle looked like someone who had spent the day cleaning their oven. It was sort of the way the fishnet stockings made an otherwise tame outfit kind of trashy, when she had her night out on the town. I feel these types of wardrobe choices are very deliberate, but have no idea what they say about the character. I also liked that when she went for her triumphant kick the can moment she looked neither athletic or pretty in the usual t.v. sense. She did look very determined and that made the scene feel more organic. I feel bad for MIchelle and Brett but this episode was the first one where I questioned if they should be together. They just don't seem to like the same things or think the same way. Playing kick ball was the opposite of what Brett would like to do and it almost always seems they are opposites struggling with each other. Maybe the audience needs a flashback so we can see a time they were more intune. I feel that we saw shades of that when they were in the hotel, before the disastrous sex scene. I bet in the beginning they balanced each other out. Brett was probably little more adventurous and bubbly Michelle probably enjoyed embracing her inner dork with him. She is bored and confused, while he is very set in his ways. I really hope they can work it out. Also, I think Brett is stressed out by his work, but can not express that to her because he is afraid it will make him look weak. I think a lot of men face this problem. This is one of the reasons he needs Alex, because he can be himself around him. 1 Link to comment
missy jo February 16, 2015 Share February 16, 2015 Please. Get. Divorced. I've never seen a crowd of adults more excited about shitty beer. Was it their first time around beer? Do they not otherwise have access to beer? 2 Link to comment
peeayebee February 17, 2015 Share February 17, 2015 I forgot to say how much I loved when Tina just screamed at the hipster who was about to tag Michelle as she ran to kick the can. The slo-mo and no audio made it great. Alex carrying off Tara (I believe) was also great. It was nice to see the hipsters all laughing by the end. 5 Link to comment
bilgistic February 17, 2015 Share February 17, 2015 That may be typical. Years ago I lived with a woman who had undergone fairly intensive therapy and ultimately quit. She said that it was great for dredging up suppressed memories and understanding (at least somewhat) why she was the way she was, but it didn't really give her the tools to deal with what she had learned.As a woman who has spent many of my adult years in therapy because to mental health practitioners, depression and anxiety equals therapy! I can attest to the same thing. I know what my triggers are, but my illness is also largely organic, and there's not much I can do about it but continue to medicate, ride out the storms and isolate. I've come to believe that early treatment (as in childhood) is key, but very few parents have the resources/tools/ability/recognition to get their children the help they need, and cycles perpetuate. 3 Link to comment
tennisgurl February 17, 2015 Share February 17, 2015 I think my favorite moment was at the end, with the slow motion and the sprinklers going off, and the Hipsters and the "grown-ups" all laughing and cheering. That just seems like one of those really great moments that actually do happen in people lives. I still don't think I`ll like it if Michelle starts cheating though. 2 Link to comment
ElectricBoogaloo February 17, 2015 Share February 17, 2015 To be fair, only the main hipster girl who talked to Michelle seemed overly negative towards Michelle's group (and that's because Michelle wanted to disregard the reservation). The rest of them seemed fine with playing against them (and not in an angry way). But I totally loved that they all cheered for Michelle at the end. I would rather see that than have the losing team be brats or sore losers. It was nice to see them applaud Michelle's efforts. I was sure that one of the hipsters would say it didn't count because of interference from the people who were supposed to be in jail. I also loved that Tina's only interference was to scream. That was hilarious! 4 Link to comment
Turtle February 17, 2015 Share February 17, 2015 I continue to really enjoy this show, even though it can be painful to watch. Michelle and Brett have drifted so far apart, and just cannot communicate with each other in any way that's helpful. I think they've shown us glimpses of their love and how they fit together at one time, but now they're so out of sync and just can't seem to sort it out. It's not helping at all that Brett can't seem to get out of his own head and understand what his wife is trying to say at all. Sure, she's not saying it well, but it seems like she's trying to figure out what's going on and how to fix it, while he just seems caught up in a "woe is me" mid-life crisis. I maintain that neither of them is totally right and neither of them is totally wrong, but after this episode it seems to me that Michelle is making the lion's share of the effort. I get why Michelle was so adamant about the field, even though she was in the wrong. She needed something to go right and to just be easy and fun, and once she got it in her head that they were playing kickball, then dammit, they were going to play kickball!! Trying to control one thing, I guess. Link to comment
scrb February 17, 2015 Share February 17, 2015 They totally cheated but that's okay it's a dumb game. Instead of gift cards for lame chains that no self-respecting hipster would go for -- and why the hell does daddy war bucks producer have gift cards for lame chains that no self-respecting Hollywood wheeler dealer would go for -- they should have offered something meaningful like some gluten free vegan kale burgers or something. Then they could have played a real game like kickball, which is so awesome that nobody over 10 plays it. Link to comment
arc February 17, 2015 Share February 17, 2015 Then they could have played a real game like kickball, which is so awesome that nobody over 10 plays it. Pretty sure millenials / hipsters in LA have full-fledged kickball leagues. And elsewhere. And adult kickball was a plot on Happy Endings. Link to comment
Momof2boyz February 17, 2015 Share February 17, 2015 Pretty sure millenials / hipsters in LA have full-fledged kickball leagues. And elsewhere. And adult kickball was a plot on Happy Endings. Yes, kickball is a real thing with adults. There is an adult league where I live. They meet up at the park where my son has football practice in the summer. It is a social thing for people in their 20s and 30s and they drink beer and smoke while they are playing. Bizarre. Link to comment
ElectricBoogaloo February 17, 2015 Share February 17, 2015 (edited) It's definitely a real thing. I know they have been around in the Bay Area for years and a friend of mine who lives in Knoxville just posted today about registering for her kickball league. Edited February 17, 2015 by ElectricBoogaloo Link to comment
EdnasEdibles February 17, 2015 Share February 17, 2015 The thing is that Brett isn't a bad guy and he is trying to be honest with her. In this particular case, she didn't get the answer she wanted and got upset so he tried to fix things by playing along aka not being completely honest. I see why he did it though. He loves her and wants her to be happy and wants things to be better between him, so why not say, "Yay, kickball!" if it will make her feel better after a brutal therapy session? And to be honest, I don't know what else he could have said right after that Barnes & Noble comment that would have made things better. I also understand Michelle's kickball suggestion though. She knew things were raw between them after therapy and she wanted to heal that by having fun together. I think that she thought having their friends together might take the pressure off of her and Brett to carry the entire experience too. Kickball is a game you play as a kid so I think she might have also thought that doing something that reminded them of being carefree would also help. I agree with this. I don't think either of them had great ideas on how to deal with the therapy (which I really really really wish we had been able to see because I'm nosy) but I do like that Michelle's seemed to be about them coming together, reliving fun moments and just getting out of their heads. And yes, Brett isn't a bad guy but what bugged me is that he wasn't really trying. He was semi-trying while wanting to get points for semi-trying. He wanted everyone to know that he didn't want to do it but was doing it anyway for his wife. I sympathize a lot with Michelle. Hell, in a lot of ways I think I AM Michelle so I wanted to smack him when he confessed that he was carrying the carcass of the relationship around. I think Michelle swallows her feelings a lot. As a mom sometimes you have to do it. You can't wear every emotion on your sleeve so you suck it up and do what needs to get done. He couldn't do that for one day. 2 Link to comment
blixie February 17, 2015 Share February 17, 2015 And yes, Brett isn't a bad guy but what bugged me is that he wasn't really trying. He was semi-trying while wanting to get points for semi-trying. Yeah I think Michelle is big part of the bad communication problem because she doesn't use her words and wants him to "intuit" everything, but in this particular case if you are gonna fake it? FAKE IT. Don't fake it and then throw it in her face that you're faking it and hating that you are faking it, that was a dick move. I continue to love that Tina has had to play marriage counselor to them both and basically every time she's like WHATEVER it's not that hard to just DO THE THING (be it "faking" sexual engagement or "faking" kickball fun). Hee, obviously that isn't a way to deal with everything, but yeah marriage is about negotiating compromise through the years, one of my favorite movies, Miami Rhapsody has this great line where Mia Farrow tells Sarah Jessica Parker both people have to give up some of their selves/identities and she counters that she doesn't have any "extra". I kind of feel that's what these two have given up, the commitment to compromise, or rather that they've reached point where they feel they've given up too much, and are no longer happy with the people they've made the compromises for. 2 Link to comment
DarkRaichu February 17, 2015 Share February 17, 2015 (edited) Yeah I think Michelle is big part of the bad communication problem because she doesn't use her words and wants him to "intuit" everything, but in this particular case if you are gonna fake it? FAKE IT. Don't fake it and then throw it in her face that you're faking it and hating that you are faking it, that was a dick move. This. It is easier just to tell a man what woman wants. Worst case he would say no. Setting up a trap (ie. "Imagine what you want to do now") and then pouting when the answer is not what the woman wants is not a good way to start anything. Not that I am defending Brett. Geez, man up and either object to the idea or commit to her plan that he agreed on. Leave the passive aggressive sulking acts to 5 year olds :D Edited February 17, 2015 by DarkRaichu 2 Link to comment
Rickster February 17, 2015 Share February 17, 2015 Definitely my least favorite episode so far. Mostly because of the amount of time spent on the baffling recreational proclivities of the hipster class, that I am too old to understand. Kick the can? Really? I guess I'm a bit more in Brett's camp of not seeing the point of having fake fun after such a gut wrenching therapy session, but if you're going to agree to do it, you can't do it half heartedly and let your wife know that. 4 Link to comment
DiabLOL February 18, 2015 Share February 18, 2015 I really wish that when Michelle had actively encouraged Brett to go to the book store and hide out with his peppermint tea for a while. Obviously they were both really messed up after their therapy session so why bully the other person into doing something they don't want to do? He honestly answered her what he really felt he needed to feel better. Then he disappointed me when he acted all pissy and made sure it was really clear that he slouchily agreed to play along even though he didn't want to be there. I first judged him about this then I remembered how many times I've been in his position and had the breakthrough rage come seeping out. This show is as painful to watch as Married. Both are so depressing but I keep tuning in because I want to see if I recognize myself in anyone's "dick moves". 4 Link to comment
scrb February 18, 2015 Share February 18, 2015 More surprising than adults playing kickball is that there are still Barnes and Noble stores around. Serving peppermint tea no less. 1 Link to comment
bilgistic February 18, 2015 Share February 18, 2015 Barnes & Noble bought out Borders around here. Everything else went under or was bought. There are ONLY B&N and the very occasional independent bookstores here (large SE U.S. city). Link to comment
pbutler111 February 18, 2015 Share February 18, 2015 I agree. I was getting annoyed at the ongoing subtext that the kick-the-can group was somehow being unreasonable. I don't care if they'd reserved the field for no other purpose than to sit in the bleachers and star at the empty field for a couple of hours -- it was theirs for the time they reserved. Was that supposed to be the only playing field in all of Los Angeles? (And, quite frankly, I didn't think the kick-the-can group looked all that much younger than the other group.) 4 Link to comment
blixie February 18, 2015 Share February 18, 2015 Yeah B&N brick and mortars still exist, if perhaps only for a while longer. I guess I'm a bit more in Brett's camp of not seeing the point of having fake fun after such a gut wrenching therapy session Oh no I definitely thought Brett's idea was much better than Michelle's and that honestly they amounted to the same thing, in terms of connecting after World War 3, like Brett said being with bunch of their friends wasn't about them being "together", and they would have been much better off decompressing separately, in whatever way most made sense as individuals. I though it was interesting that most of their friends didn't actually appear to be...other couples (or other parents?), that's pretty unusual. Being friends with primarily childless singletons would be a constant reminder of of a different life you are no longer living. 2 Link to comment
DrLar February 18, 2015 Share February 18, 2015 Tina may have slapped Alex and ran off but she took her little time to do it.. perhaps enjoying that kiss too much? 2 Link to comment
Pallas February 20, 2015 Share February 20, 2015 I thought it was interesting that most of their friends didn't actually appear to be...other couples (or other parents?), that's pretty unusual. Being friends with primarily childless singletons would be a constant reminder of of a different life you are no longer living. Michelle emphasized that the impromptu kickball e-vite state, "NO KIDS." That may be another difference between couples under stress, or even everyday: the men seem more sanguine about involving the kids in a get-together, while the mothers seek the occasional opportunity to get away. How come? Maybe because of why it felt natural to say "men" for husbands and "mothers" for wives. Link to comment
arc February 20, 2015 Share February 20, 2015 It's impressive that all those parents could find babysitters on very short notice, then. At least Brett and Michelle had one because they had therapy scheduled. 2 Link to comment
Milburn Stone February 20, 2015 Share February 20, 2015 The last two episodes have been agonizingly realistic about marriage. I'm torn between A) admiring the hell out of this show for somehow dramatizing stuff that I've never seen so accurately captured before, and B) never wanting to see this show again. I will probably keep watching, though, for the same reason that people pick on scabs. 4 Link to comment
LiveFromKevin February 23, 2015 Share February 23, 2015 I've never seen a crowd of adults more excited about shitty beer. Was it their first time around beer? Do they not otherwise have access to beer? They weren't excited about the beer itself. They were excited to be spending a day just having fun like they did before they were all "grown ups". Binge-drinking shitty beer was a part of that experience in their younger years, and they were trying to get back to it. 3 Link to comment
Latverian Diplomat March 3, 2015 Share March 3, 2015 Oh no I definitely thought Brett's idea was much better than Michelle's and that honestly they amounted to the same thing, in terms of connecting after World War 3, like Brett said being with bunch of their friends wasn't about them being "together", and they would have been much better off decompressing separately, in whatever way most made sense as individuals. Introverts recharge by being alone, extroverts recharge by being with people. It could be just another source of incompatibility for them that they respond to stress differently. If so, you would think they would have figured that out by now. I do think the therapist is somewhat at fault too. I realize these things can't be perfectly timed, but the therapist should be watching the clock and saving time at the end of the session for winding down the emotion and getting the patient(s) ready to go back out in the world again. 3 Link to comment
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