Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[AgentRXS]

Quote

Why is it that whenever anybody asks where I work and I tell them, the response is always some long-winded story about his or her last experience at a similar place and what is wrong with my industry?  For instance, if I were to say I was a nurse (I'm not), the other person would spend half an hour telling me about how they went to the doctor for a stubbed toe and came out in a body cast.

Yes! I'm an animal cop for my local shelter. There is a non-profit "Humane Society" down the street from us. It is not a no-kill facility, but people think so. I am constantly getting asked if I work there, a long-ass story about someone's bad experience adopting/visiting there, and so on.  I also get "I don't know how you can do what you do, I couldn't".  People mean well, but after hearing it a few thousand times it starts to sound condescending. I do it because I love animals, and want to be around them/help them instead of just whining about their plight (sorry, bittercakes here).  Or they say "I wish we could save them all". I respond by stating "Well, we can start by spay and neutering.....are your pets neutered?" The answer is no, 80% of the time and they always wish to delve into the reasons why. I don't want to hear it. Or they say "Every time I go to your place, all I see is pitbulls, and black and tabby cats. Where's all your small dogs/Siamese kittens/Sphynx/insert other rare breed here?".  I'm sorry, we are an open admission government-run facility. We take in what others discard. I know you are trying to do a good thing and "rescue" a pet (and its appreciated) but we can't just special-order in certain breeds.  And we still get plenty of Siamese kittens in.......and then people fuss because "I was looking for a seal point and that one is Snowshoe".  And it hurts because black/tabby cats and pitbulls have someone of the best personalities and get overlooked just because they aren't "pretty" or "rare".  And I won't even get into the  lectures people tell me about the negative aspects of  "pitbulls". That's a whole other can of worms.

Or sometimes your just going out to get a bite to eat on your way home for work, and while you're standing in line waiting for food, the person in front of you sees your shirt, and proceeds to tell you everything about their precious Fluffy/Fido who they spent $1000s of dollars on from a pet store......

Warning: if anyone ever considered getting involved in an animal-related career, you're disdain for people increases the more you see how cruel/non-caring they can be toward their pets. So if people who work in animal-related careers come across as snobs, its only because we are tired of people and their shit. And hearing the same things over and over........

[JTMacc99]

Should I even bother to point out what people think of my industry?

I usually try to quickly turn the conversation on what they should say to their company to get their bill lowered. 

[zxy556575]

15 minutes ago, JTMacc99 said:

Should I even bother to point out what people think of my industry?

No need. But I feel bad for you having to listen to it!

If I told people I was a librarian, the most I'd get is maybe a weak joke about shushing. I guess I'm lucky because it was short to say and nobody needed an explanation.

(Ahem. Although for the record, I never worked the reference desk and never shushed anyone!)

[Quof]

Lawyer here.

I believe I win the "Oh my god, I hate everyone who works in your field" award.

[Blergh]

OK, while I've only had a few acquaintances make tiny disses re my line/s of work, I think a bigger pet peeve I'd like to air is  bigotry. Some of the worst offenders I can think of are those who'll go on major rants about my demographics but then expect me to greenlight said rants by saying 'However; YOU are an exception so you're okay. Therefore, I can't be a bigot since I deign to tolerate you despite my openly hating a good part of your person'

 How arrogant is that?

[Moose135]

4 hours ago, auntlada said:

Not since I left newspaper work. When I was there, everyone wanted to tell me what was wrong with out paper, what was wrong with the industry and how it was dying. But they sure let us know if their paper was 5 minutes late to their door.

I had the same experience when I was in the newspaper business.

[TattleTeeny]

Quote

People mean well, but after hearing it a few thousand times it starts to sound condescending. I do it because I love animals, and want to be around them/help them instead of just whining about their plight (sorry, bittercakes here).  Or they say "I wish we could save them all". I respond by stating "Well, we can start by spay and neutering.....are your pets neutered?" The answer is no, 80% of the time and they always wish to delve into the reasons why.

Really on the neuter/spay thing? Holy crap, man--it's like the most obvious thing people should be doing! Ugh! 

I volunteer at an animal shelter and often have to work adoption events, which are held at Petco. Yes, people mean well, and clearly if they're already in a Petco, they likely care for animals. But I can't even count how many times an hour I hear, "I would but I already have pets" (which, as an aside, makes me wonder if Petco is the best place for these events). It's not that I disagree with the statement or fault people for saying it at all--I myself would have more if our home situation was a bit different. It's just so repetitive after a while and it seems like people are saying it because they worry they'll be judged.

Also, good for you and thank you for the work you do! 

[JTMacc99]

1 hour ago, Quof said:

Lawyer here.

I believe I win the "Oh my god, I hate everyone who works in your field" award.

I was going to quote some cable company satisfaction scores (always the lowest of all industries), but then I realized you are absolutely right. 

For what it's worth, I love our lawyers at my company. They talk and talk, and take both sides of the argument while I'm trying to tell them what I want to do. Then sometimes I like to tell them that I understand the risks and am going to do whatever I planned to do anyway. I like to finish with telling them that I have complete faith in them to clean it up if one of the 17 possibilities they mentioned actually happens.  That's when they put their hands over their ears and go LA LA LA LA! and walk away.

[Quof]

Whereas I once said to a client, who was bitching about the mess he was in "Did you ask me before you did X? No, you didn't.  Then, did you ask me whether you should lie to the authorities about doing X? No, you didn't.  And you didn't ask me when you hid the evidence that you had done X, and also hid the evidence that you had lied about doing X? No, you didn't.   Had you asked me at any step along the way, I would have given you good advice.   But you didn't.   And there's only so much I can do to get you out of the mess you've gotten yourself into. This pen ain't no magic wand."

[BookWoman56]

On 8/4/2016 at 10:43 AM, topanga said:

Today's pet peeve, and it is literally a 1st world problem:  bad grammar in transcribed letters. At my job, I dictate letters and reports. The transcribers are American citizens who live in the U.S. Therefore, I assume they have finished high school and have been taught basic grammar and punctuation in an English class. At the very least, when being trained for this job, they should have been treated to a review of basic grammar and punctuation rules. 

But these are the same kind of mistakes I see every single day. (Ignore the medical jargon):

This is a pleasant 56-year-old female, who presents for a disability consultative evaluation.  [There shouldn't be a comma after "female"]

She lives at home with her children and she has an associate's degree.  [Where's the comma separating two independent clauses?]

--And the mistakes are often worse. Ironically, I didn't see any of these mistakes when the clinic used a transcription company based in India. Which begs the question, what are we teaching our children in these friggin' American schools? And what are we teaching people when we hire them to transcribe letters and reports?

I'd be happy if those were the worst grammar mistakes in the papers of the college students I occasionally teach or tutor. Here is one example, slightly modified to remove identifying info, of a request I got from a student who wanted me to tutor him/her: I mean need more sentence regular sentence like 4 paragraph but mine limit like 7 word but i dont know what do this mean like some words.

It was all I could do not to respond, "What the hell are you trying to say?"

Given that these people in your pet peeve are supposedly transcribing what has been dictated to them, the mistakes shouldn't be that bad, but many students simply do not understand how to use commas correctly. (The weird trend of inserting a comma between the subject and verb of a sentence baffles me: My friend, went to the mall. ) That said, I see a mix of writing skills when I review student papers. Some students write very well, while others cannot manage a coherent sentence. So, some teaching of writing is taking place in at least some settings. However, my day job is working with a bunch of math people with advanced degrees, all of whom but one are non-native English speakers. My job is to make their technical papers understandable by an audience that may not have that level of math/statistics education. I am somehow not surprised that the one native English speaker is the worst writer of the bunch.

Edited August 5, 2016 by BookWoman56

[ratgirlagogo]

6 hours ago, lordonia said:

If I told people I was a librarian, the most I'd get is maybe a weak joke about shushing

Really? You don't get people quoting that fucking Seinfeld episode to you six times a day?

Maybe I  get more of it since the library I work in is in fact the New York Public Library.  Interestingly everyone seems to remember the Javertesque library cop, but nobody but nobody ever remembers my favorite line - that the library is everyone's pathetic friend that lends you stuff for nothing, so you'll like them.  Too true.

Edited August 6, 2016 by ratgirlagogo

[AgentRXS]

Quote

I volunteer at an animal shelter and often have to work adoption events, which are held at Petco. Yes, people mean well, and clearly if they're already in a Petco, they likely care for animals. But I can't even count how many times an hour I hear, "I would but I already have pets" (which, as an aside, makes me wonder if Petco is the best place for these events). It's not that I disagree with the statement or fault people for saying it at all--I myself would have more if our home situation was a bit different. It's just so repetitive after a while and it seems like people are saying it because they worry they'll be judged.

Yes, when I worked in the kennels prior to my current position this is what I heard all the time. What's frustrating about being a kennel worker is that someone pretends to be interested in a pet, hogs up sometimes 30-45 minutes of your time asking questions about it, and then says "I would but I already have X amount of cats/dogs, but thanks though". And since our shelter only has 2 play yards, coming in just to entertain yourself/kids is unfair to serious adopters who have to wait while you waste the kennel workers time.

Another pet peeve is that people think kennel workers have nothing better to do but "play with animals all day" and get told "You're so lucky!". Uh, no. It includes deep cleaning of the entire facility, walking the dogs, learning their behavior, figuring out who can be paired with who to make space, tracking ownership on microchip, and dealing with rescuers and volunteers. 

Rescuers are wonderful and we are thankful for them, but there tend to be some that automatically hate  any kill shelter, and will be very aggressive and rude to shelter employees because they get a kick out of going on social media to report that "The shelter wanted to kill him, but we saved him, but we need your $$$!" No. None of us want  to euthanize and its the hardest part of the job. In just days, you get attached to a dog, start to fall in love and then you have to put it down for no reason other then space. Its heartbreaking. Even worse is the animal aggressive ones, because we can't adopt them out, but they tend to be the most loving with people.  Another peeve is when you try to educate some volunteers on an  animal's behavior and they refuse to listen because they say "You're just trying to keep him from getting adopted". No, I just don't want him to be returned for biting. If a Chihuahua hates children, I won't put him in a home full of kids.  If a female dog is scared of men, I wouldn't adopt her out to a gay couple where she is going to be frightened to death. Its just logic. But their are about 3 or 4 volunteers at my place will be so busy trying to sell the dog to the potential adopter that they fail to notice when the dog is  nervous/scared or just not interested.

One more peeve and then I'm done. Young men come in and are interested in a dog. All is good until they find out their neutered.  Young Men: "Awww man, you neutered him?! That sucks, I'm not interested. I like my dog to keep his manhood. I would never do that to my dog. Y'all are cruel!"  Now this isn't all men, but I would say about 1/2 of them.  Its so annoying LOL

[zxy556575]

10 minutes ago, stewedsquash said:

Well I have a complaint. Why are the adult (meaning not children or young adult) books color coded instead of the Dewey Decimal? Our main library uses color bands on the outside to decide where a book is placed. General, Mystery, Suspense, Romance, African American. It drives me bonkers and especially so since Romance is pink. I don't look at romance books but it drives me crazy to see them in pink anyway. I want all fiction books together. 

There's no standard answer, if that peeves you. :)

From Public Libraries Online:  "Should you separate fiction into genres, or should all fiction be left together? Or do you split the difference and mark different genres in some way but leave everything together on the shelf? There are lots of questions, and very few definitive answers. However, there is one question we can answer for sure. Is there a right way to do things? Absolutely not! This is a decision best left up to individual libraries and what will work best for their communities."

Dewey says that all fiction is shelved together, sub-categorized by author's last name with 3 or 4 digit cutter numbers. Any color coding would be your individual library's homegrown solution, but it is becoming more popular. There are commercial products such as ColorMarq.

[Petunia13]

14 hours ago, Qoass said:

Why is it that whenever anybody asks where I work and I tell them, the response is always some long-winded story about his or her last experience at a similar place and what is wrong with my industry?  For instance, if I were to say I was a nurse (I'm not), the other person would spend half an hour telling me about how they went to the doctor for a stubbed toe and came out in a body cast.

It happens to me all the time and I hate it.  Anybody else bearing the brunt for the entire world's mechanics, hairstylists or police officers?

I get that but from some of my coworkers. My position is known for being the most difficult one and probably the most stressful. So everyday multiple x a day they comment about how hard the job is or that I'm busy/harried/tired or they comment on how the job should be changed or what not. Customers often say the same stuff. 

i dislike when people say I look tired or stressed I that that is rude.

[Petunia13]

It depresses me and is fucked  animals have to be killed simply for having a personality flaw or insecurity  or health issue or bad experience. The way the human race treats animals is vile. 

[Bastet]

I adopt (as a cat mom, not a rescue) from "kill" shelters and have enormous respect for what they accomplish with the meager resources and the open-intake mandate they must work under.  I'm also someone who - while I absolutely take the points in objection to this sentiment - "could not do what they do" -- I'd wind up in jail.  Latest example: During the brief time it took me to fill out Riley's adoption contract and wait for her to be microchipped, one guy came in to dump his dog and another to have his cat put to sleep.  I'll skip the details, but these were not loving but desperate people making the best of a bad situation, as happens; these were assholes not wanting to be inconvenienced.  I would punch a fucker in the mouth daily in that job, except I'd be fired and arrested the first day.

My hat is off to those who work within a flawed system, refrain from choking uncaring people, and put themselves through shit I can't even imagine because they're willing to endure the horrible aspects of the job in order to facilitate the wonderful parts.  Over a lifetime of cat ownership, about half have just shown up as what turned out to be dumped strays, and the rest have been adopted from the municipal shelter.  I would not have had the utter joy that is/was living with those cats were it not for the people who made it happen.  And I mean zero disrespect to those who, as part of a rescue organization, pull animals from shelters; moving one from a shelter cage into a foster home frees limited space.  But those who don't get to cherry pick, who labor over the animals with the deck most stacked against them -- you're the people I most admire in this regard.  I couldn't be you, and I apologize for the negative ways in which that can be interpreted, but I am so glad you are.

[TattleTeeny]

You guys, read Jackson Galaxy's book Cat Daddy if you haven't already! Not only did it help me after I had to have a pet euthanized, but it shows some perspective on kill-shelter employees. I mean, I still hate the idea of kill shelters, and will never find it "right," but while his words don't justify them, they do make clear that the people who work there are not monsters. I love that guy.

[Bastet]

I just don't understand how in a country with three to seven million (exact numbers are hard to come by given the way city/county numbers are collected nationwide) animals euthanized annually in shelters due to lack of space, someone can aim their ire at the municipal (open intake, "kill) facilities who take in any and all pets people within that jurisdiction turn in and then do their best and make calculated judgments on who to retain once capacity is reached*, rather than at the people who, you know, fail to take responsibility for their pets in the first place.

*Clearly, there are issues with this evaluation process in many shelters, and we need to address those, but let us also not lose sight of who created the homeless pet overpopulation crisis in the first place.

Edited August 6, 2016 by Bastet

[JTMacc99]

@stewedsquash To get you cable bill lowered, start with the knowledge that it they have offers designed for customers who are leaving to go to the competition. 

If you're just calling to lower your bill, they will tell you how you can take lower levels of service. If you are calling to cancel your service, they will attempt to save you as a customer with lower prices and/or better services. 

I usually call them, and say "Cancel Services" to the prompt. That immediately puts me in touch with the retention part of customer service. I inform that person that I am switching to DirecTV because of a better price and need to figure out how to schedule a cancellation date. That is typically all I need to say. The retention rep can check off the customer is leaving for competition, reason is price and start walking through the various ways she can keep me from scheduling my cancellation date. 

Also effective is walking into one of their service centers and returning a piece of equipment and complaining that they charge to much. Sometimes front counter reps have good retention offers and hand them out because you're just there. 

[Demented Daisy]

7 hours ago, lordonia said:

Any color coding would be your individual library's homegrown solution, but it is becoming more popular.

Which leads to my peeve.  My husband is colorblind.  He cannot distinguish blue from purple from green, nor can he see the difference between red, orange, and brown.  He would be absolutely lost in a library that is color coded.  Do they at least have signs over the different sections?

Oh, and when people find out he's colorblind?  "What color is that?  What color is that?  What color is that?"  Over and over again.  So rude.

[TattleTeeny]

Ugh, deliberate obtuseness is a peeve of mine.  Without going into detail, let's just say it's rampant this morning not too far from here. 

[Blergh]

14 hours ago, Petunia13 said:

It depresses me and is fucked  animals have to be killed simply for having a personality flaw or insecurity  or health issue or bad experience. The way the human race treats animals is vile. 

 I agree and I think Mark Twain was right when he said that humans are the only species that deserve to suffer  though I think that if they pose a danger to humans (e.g. a rapid dog or a lion that's eaten human flesh) I see no alternative but to put them down (and, yes I LIKE dogs and lions).

[JTMacc99]

4 hours ago, forumfish said:

 Now that our cable company has been merged with another, we are waiting to see what the new overlords do.

It's true. I work in corporate headquarters, and when we work on rates changes, we wear robes and sit in ornate chairs eating only the finest veal and drinking the finest wines. 

[Petunia13]

Soon it will be obsolete. I live in a v wealthy area and only two friends have cable. The rest rent, use Netflix, Hulu, stream. 

[auntlada]

2 hours ago, JTMacc99 said:

It's true. I work in corporate headquarters, and when we work on rates changes, we wear robes and sit in ornate chairs eating only the finest veal and drinking the finest wines. 

You're the Stonecutters, aren't you? 

[JTMacc99]

@Petunia13 We're investing a great deal of money into the Internet side of the business. So from a cable company perspective, stream away. 

The more interesting question is how will the companies that make the tv shows make money in a streaming only world?  

[Petunia13]

I wish I had that fire in my belly and pride in my corporation where I'd defend it or believe in their future. I can't pin point when that stopped maybe when I realized I was being used or a cog in the machine, or when I knew even if it crashed and burned I could get another middle class or working mans job. 

Dont get me wrong I think tv and cable are important-probably more than some  people. But I see that industry going the way of video tape rental stores. 

[harrie]

For the foreseeable future, though, new/original content is going to be in demand – and there always seems to be a new kid on the block with great creative ideas but who needs financing. I can see cable companies being one of the parties either bidding on or offering to back a project that needs financing. Entertainment is many things, but it is rarely cheap. Just my opinion, but I believe that at least some cable companies may see the trend and find a way to work with it in order to stay viable.

[BooksRule]

Quote

 

You don't get people quoting that fucking Seinfeld episode to you six times a day?

Maybe I  get more of it since the library I work in is in fact the New York Public Library.  Interestingly everyone seems to remember the Javertesque library cop, but nobody but nobody ever remembers my favorite line - that the library is everyone's pathetic friend that lends you stuff for nothing, so you'll like them.  Too true.

 

Ha!  I just posted that clip on my FB page a couple of days ago.  I like Mr. Bookman, but I'm glad he isn't real (as far as I know).  And, I love the pathetic friend quote.

I'm a librarian, and I usually get the 'you mean you need a college degree to do your job?' and 'I guess you get to read a lot' (which I do, but not while I'm at work unless it's professional journals or books I'm reading to review) and 'Wow! A librarian?  Maybe I'll do that when I retire' (like it's a volunteer job or something and not a 'real' job).  I do work at the reference desk a few hours a week (and have 'shushed' a student or two now and then), but most people don't realize that in my library (I can only speak from academic librarian experience, of course) most of my time is spent on committee work, budgets, reading reviews so I can choose materials, talking to classes, talking to faculty, troubleshooting computers, staff evaluations, preservation of the collection, begging for more money, trying to justify to my associate dean why I need so many book carts in my department, why I'm purchasing so many DVDs ('well, we have a film studies program Mr. Boss'), etc. and attending meetings to discuss all of the previously-mentioned items.  And, I actually occasionally help a student or faculty member locate the book or DVD they need (which is always fun, but it's a small part of my job).  Don't get me wrong, I love my job (or I wouldn't still be doing it for several decades), but it's--like so many other professions--not well understood by others.

[MargeGunderson]

BooksRule, I have a MSLIS and am a professional in information management (I spent 12 years in academic libraries before moving to corporate) and heard "you must like to read" so many times. What was worse were those people who would say something long the lines of "now with Google you'll have to find another job." 

Funny thing though - I teach a library science course (archives)and when I asked students last semester what they want to do professionally, the majority of them said they wanted to process historical manuscript collections, which is the archivist version of "I want to be librarian because I like to read."  I'm not sure they have a very good idea of what they will actually do day to day.

Edited August 7, 2016 by MargeGunderson

[StatisticalOutlier]

On 8/5/2016 at 0:58 PM, Quof said:

Lawyer here.

I believe I win the "Oh my god, I hate everyone who works in your field" award.

Lawyer here, too.  I don't practice any more, but have always liked the research angle.

Just last week someone in an online forum was asking about a county ordinance about parking his RV on his property.  He was getting all sorts of different answers from Code Enforcement, and of course getting tons of opinions from people in the thread he started.  He finally posted a link to the "law," which was actually just the county's website's "plain English" version of the law, and off everybody went again dissecting it.  Then he said his wife asked a CE officer for the citation to the code, and the CE guy gave her a URL that turned out to need a password for access.

So I found his county's Code online and got to digging and spent an hour or two (egad, I hate doing legal research on a computer, having learned it pre-Lexis) combing through the Code and found all sorts of interesting stuff, none of which supported what Code Enforcement was saying.  Bottom line?  There's nothing I could find that said plugging into an electrical outlet was prohibited.  So I reported what I found, including links to the Code provisions, gave my opinion on what I thought the county might be thinking, and told him what specifically to ask the people at CE to get to the bottom of it.  And what did I get in return?  Crickets.

These are probably the same assholes who will say, at that drop of a hat, how they hate lawyers.  And who will, when a situation comes up, be the first to say, "You should sue! Get a lawyer!"  Grrrrrrr.

Many moons ago, more than one person advised me never to give away my time for free because people won't appreciate it.  Boy, were they right.

 

37 minutes ago, BooksRule said:

I'm a librarian, and I usually get the 'you mean you need a college degree to do your job?'

I majored in Economics in undergrad and needed an elective, so I signed up for a Library Science class.  I like learning how things are organized, and I like research.  And pre-internet, I loved research librarians, who would answer the phone and find the answer to any old question you could come up with.  Amazing.

But on the first day of my Library Science class, I got the syllabus and it was a CRUSHING workload.  I couldn't believe it.  I dropped it immediately, but now kind of wish I hadn't.  But it gave me some insight into what it takes to be a librarian.

Although that brings me to a huge annoyance in my life--loud libraries.  I was in one in Michigan several years ago that actually had a designated "quiet room."  The hell?  I thought the library WAS the quiet room. 

[Quof]

Quote

And what did I get in return?  Crickets.

These are probably the same assholes who will say, at that drop of a hat, how they hate lawyers.  And who will, when a situation comes up, be the first to say, "You should sue! Get a lawyer!"  Grrrrrrr.

My mother had an injury from a fall recently, in a privately owned venue.  I told her to make sure they were aware of her fall, so they could report it to their insurer.  "Oh, I don't know, your brother doesn't want me to."  Oh, okay then. Take legal and insurance advice from The Little Prince, who has played eenie - meenie - minie - mo with his career choice for three decades.   Instead of the one who has been practising law all that time.

I explained to her that the venue has insurance coverage that includes voluntary medical benefits, meaning that it pays for her treatment, regardless of whose fault the fall was, which will be important if she uses up her private coverage.   "Oh, I don't know if your brother knows that."   Really??? Cuz I thought he knew everything.

[Bastet]

Quote

Oh, okay then. Take legal and insurance advice from The Little Prince, who has played eenie - meenie - minie - mo with his career choice for three decades.   Instead of the one who has been practising law all that time.

That's like when I was in OK for a funeral, and someone in the family raised a question about the "estate" (which probably consisted of about thirty bucks in a checking account and a car worth a few hundred dollars).  I said that probate code is state law, so I'd have to check for sure, but on this particular point most states say X.  She said, "Oh, I'll ask [male cousin standing nearby]."  Who doesn't possess so much as a GED, let alone a law degree, and who has no personal experience in this area, but does have a penis, so, clearly, he would know.

Edited August 8, 2016 by Bastet

[ratgirlagogo]

On 8/6/2016 at 1:29 AM, Bastet said:

My hat is off to those who work within a flawed system, refrain from choking uncaring people, and put themselves through shit I can't even imagine because they're willing to endure the horrible aspects of the job in order to facilitate the wonderful parts. 

You're welcome!:)

And the same to you of course.  This so thoroughly describes what so many of us do - if I even began to list all the ways in which my library failed to do simple, simple things that would help their user public - ugggh, I just can't even start.  You do know about that failed plan to move most of the Research Libraries' printed books out of the four Manhattan Research Libraries and out  to Princeton, New Jersey? Where they'd have to be requested in advance with a three to five day delivery window?  The administration is only starting to back down, 86 this plan  and repair the damage after massive public outcry (it goes without saying that massive STAFF outcry counted for less than nothing).

Edited August 7, 2016 by ratgirlagogo

[BooksRule]

Quote

 You do know about that failed plan to move most of the Research Libraries' printed books out of the four Manhattan Research Libraries and out  to Princeton, New Jersey? Where they'd have to be requested in advance with a three to five day delivery window?  The administration is only starting to back down, 86 this plan  and repair the damage after massive public outcry (it goes without saying that massive STAFF outcry counted for less than nothing).

I didn't know about that so I looked it up.  Yikes!  This should probably go under 'Vent your Monday workday spleen' topic, but it is a peeve:  Sometimes staff and librarians don't know what we're talking about, but many times we do.  We're the ones who work with the students, faculty and public every day.  But when there are decisions to be made, administration usually wants to go with what 'other libraries are doing' the newest trend or what looks good on paper.  They don't think about whether or not it will actually work in our specific setting and with our specific library users. 

[MargeGunderson]

Total change of peeves - shrieking children. There is a new family in the neighborhood who seem lovely except for the unending shrieking from their young children. Not yelling, not crying, but top-of-lungs shrieking for no apparent reason for most of the afternoon. And I don't mean every once in a while but for minutes on end. Then there will be a short break before it starts up again.  I live across the street and three doors down and I've been subjected to it all afternoon. It's driving me bonkers. I get that they are kids and outside but it's really obnoxious. 

[Quof]

Or one of my peeves - a baby has just learned to shriek. So they do it, loudly of course.  Mom (sometimes dad, but usually mom) thinks it's adorable, so they echo it back, then the child does it again, then the mother does it again.   All around the entire supermarket.  

I may have (just may have) said "Lady, you're the only one who thinks that's cute, so knock it off."

[Moose135]

5 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

Although that brings me to a huge annoyance in my life--loud libraries.  I was in one in Michigan several years ago that actually had a designated "quiet room."  The hell?  I thought the library WAS the quiet room. 

Same here!  A few years back, when I was out of work, I would go to my local library to answer e-mails, check job listings, and send resumes.  I had internet at home, but I liked getting out and seeing people.  My library was very good, not a lot of noise, but every once in a while I would go to a library a couple of towns over, and it was like a circus!  Loud talking, kids running around, you name it.  And yes, they had a quiet room too, but it didn't have tables/desks to work at, just couches/chairs.  I even remarked to one of the librarians at my local library how the other place was so loud.

 

1 hour ago, MargeGunderson said:

Total change of peeves - shrieking children. There is a new family in the neighborhood who seem lovely except for the unending shrieking from their young children. Not yelling, not crying, but top-of-lungs shrieking for no apparent reason for most of the afternoon. And I don't mean every once in a while but for minutes on end. Then there will be a short break before it starts up again.  I live across the street and three doors down and I've been subjected to it all afternoon. It's driving me bonkers. I get that they are kids and outside but it's really obnoxious. 

I hate that too!  Whenever I hear a kid shrieking, I think "No wonder tigers eat their young!"

[auntlada]

I'm always thankful it's not my kid shrieking and also praying he doesn't start because I don't want to inflict that on other people, but largely because it grates on my nerves. I've been known to yell back when he's just yelling without words in an attempt to get him to stop, but I would not do that in public. I am probably that mother that other people think is mean and borderlne abusive because I am telling him in stores to get back over here and stand next to me and if he doesn't do what I tell hi right now we are leaving, and I'm not talking in that kindergarten teacher sweet voice that all the advice people now say you should use when you talk to your children. I don't have a voice like that.

[Quof]

auntlada, how dare you tell your child what to do. Don't you know you are supposed to ask him if he wants to do it, and when, and how.... And if he would rather do something else instead? I fear for your boy's self esteem : )

[auntlada]

Oh, don't worry about that. He's already telling us about how he is smart (which he is) and how some other people are not as smart as him. He asked today why people do something or other (I can't remember what), and I said, "I have often wondered that myself." He said, "Maybe they are not very smart." I think he's right on that particular topic, but really don't want to encourage that attitude in a 4-year-old. So we have had to have conversations about how other people are smart in other ways and that just because they don't know what he knows doesn't mean they are stupid. They know other things and know how to do other things that he doesn't know.

I'm pretty sure he's picked up this attitude from me -- not me thinking he's smarter than everyone else, but that I'm smarter than everyone else. My mother always said my dad's family motto was, "People who think they know it all are especially annoying to those of us who do." (They weren't divorced. She meant Dad's dad and aunts and uncles -- and Dad's [and her] children.) And if I told my husband I was pretty sure the boy picked up the attitude from me, he'd give me a look and say, "Ya think?" He also has it, though, so the boy didn't have much of a chance.

[MargeGunderson]

11 hours ago, auntlada said:

I'm always thankful it's not my kid shrieking and also praying he doesn't start because I don't want to inflict that on other people, but largely because it grates on my nerves. I've been known to yell back when he's just yelling without words in an attempt to get him to stop, but I would not do that in public. I am probably that mother that other people think is mean and borderlne abusive because I am telling him in stores to get back over here and stand next to me and if he doesn't do what I tell hi right now we are leaving, and I'm not talking in that kindergarten teacher sweet voice that all the advice people now say you should use when you talk to your children. I don't have a voice like that.

Auntlada, I would nod my head approvingly at you! Unless your child had a mini grocery cart. Parents, it's not cute when your child runs in to me with their cart in Trader Joe's. Don't giggle and say "sorry" like you can't do anything about it. The death glare I gave you and your kid was the nicest response I could muster.

[Demented Daisy]

Don't get me started on kids and grocery shopping.  I think one of the worst things I ever saw was about 3 years ago.  A woman and her son were shopping for ice cream.  I'd say he was probably about 3-4.  He would point at something in the case.  Mom would get it and hand it to him.  He threw it on the floor, shouted "NO!" and pointed at something else.  She got that and handed it to him.  He, again, threw it on the floor, shouted "NO!" and pointed at something else.  As soon as her back was turned, he looked at me with the biggest, most repulsive grin I have ever seen on a child that young.

There were at least half a dozen different types of ice cream on the floor.  She just left them there while he continued to demand more and more ice cream.  I had to get out of there.  I shudder to think what that kid has grown to become.

BTW, yes, it did cross my mind to tell the woman what was going on.  But my guess is that she knew and didn't want to deal with the temper tantrum -- which definitely would have come had she denied him.  The threat was implicit in his "NO!"  

[GHScorpiosRule]

On August 5, 2016 at 4:25 PM, TattleTeeny said:

I volunteer at an animal shelter and often have to work adoption events, which are held at Petco. Yes, people mean well, and clearly if they're already in a Petco, they likely care for animals. But I can't even count how many times an hour I hear, "I would but I already have pets" (which, as an aside, makes me wonder if Petco is the best place for these events). 

 

I'm thinking maybe I should look to see if I can find an animal shelter I can volunteer at because I do so love animals, and would adopt a fur baby of my own EXCEPT that my complex has a no-pets policy. Well they have to allow for service dogs, but that's it. At least volunteering, I can be around them? And I love that Petco has the adoptions because I love seeing those kitties and doggies and I sigh from afar because I know I can't adopt one. But I always want to go up to cuddle.

[TattleTeeny]

You should! I do a lot of cleaning there but I also hang out and play with them, and try to get a read on their personalities--anything that could help an adoption or keep them from going to the wrong home (you'd be surprised how many come back, and for stupid reasons, IMO), along with finding out stuff like who doesn't like to be petted like this or who is a real sucker for the hairbrush. And, outside of my regular shifts, I can stop in when I feel like it just to give some extra attention without having to do the cleanup work. This is cool because during the warm months, we have a "catio," a covered fenced-in outdoor area with chairs--I could sit there and read a book if I want (which might be weird, as I have a balcony at home. And do not even think I haven't kept the shelter in the back of my mind as a "hide out from the BF if he's being really pissy" option. Haha, I could leave in a dramatic flounce and sleep there if we have a late-night fight...though that would be pretty odd to do).

The thing is, it's all mixed feelings when one of them gets adopted, especially if it was one that was particularly special to you. I've got one there now and I tense up a tiny bit when I hear someone was looking at him.

Edited August 8, 2016 by TattleTeeny

[auntlada]

2 hours ago, Demented Daisy said:

Don't get me started on kids and grocery shopping.  I think one of the worst things I ever saw was about 3 years ago.  A woman and her son were shopping for ice cream.  I'd say he was probably about 3-4.  He would point at something in the case.  Mom would get it and hand it to him.  He threw it on the floor, shouted "NO!" and pointed at something else.  She got that and handed it to him.  He, again, threw it on the floor, shouted "NO!" and pointed at something else.  As soon as her back was turned, he looked at me with the biggest, most repulsive grin I have ever seen on a child that young.

There were at least half a dozen different types of ice cream on the floor.  She just left them there while he continued to demand more and more ice cream.  I had to get out of there.  I shudder to think what that kid has grown to become.

BTW, yes, it did cross my mind to tell the woman what was going on.  But my guess is that she knew and didn't want to deal with the temper tantrum -- which definitely would have come had she denied him.  The threat was implicit in his "NO!"  

The boy sometimes tells me that if I don't do whatever it is he wants he's going to throw a fit. I tell him if he throws a fit, he certainly isn't going to get to do whatever and he's not going to get something else he wants either and he's going to have to go to his room or to bed or some similar punishment depending on where we are and what time it is. Also, he's gong to get a swat, which he knows. Unfortunately, getting sent to his room isn't so bad now unless we take all the books out or stand and watch him to make sure he isn't reading. Sometimes it's worth the quiet anyway though.

[Quof]

I was once on the phone with a friend when she sent her 5 year old to her room.  I said "What goes is that? She's got all her toys, her books..."   My friend said "She is sitting in the centre of her bed, touching nothing. Trust me."

[auntlada]

She was better trained than I ever was. Even if I wasn't supposed to be reading, I would have been, with a stashing spot nearby and while keeping an ear out for someone coming. I'm sure I never fooled anyone. I guess at least I learned stuff while being punished, even if I didn't realize I was learning.

[bilgistic]

This discussion reminded me that I used to do my homework at night in bed with a flashlight after I was supposed to be asleep. I guess I had procrastinated during the day, and was too much of a nerd to not do my homework.

[Qoass]

For me, punishment was being made to leave my bedroom and go outside to play.