Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[Jaded]

This forum is for people to talk about and give differing opinions about stuff they watch on TV for the most part and I appreciate that fact. If people's posts about not liking a show or the state of a show they used to like bothered me that bad I'd put them on ignore. I know people accessing this site from phones and tablets had/have trouble using that feature though. I searched this thread to the best of my ability and can't find the post where corrine's quote is from though. 

Edited June 3, 2016 by Jaded

[krimimimi]

1 hour ago, Bastet said:

My best friend's mom always kisses me hello and good-bye, as I don't see her very often anymore, and I have no problem with that, or with kissing my parents or very close friends; I'm never the one to initiate it, but I'm completely fine with it on the occasions they do.  These people kissing me know that, though; they're not pronouncing, "I'm a kisser" and planting one on me heedless of my wishes.

I'm just routinely flabbergasted by the fact I respect the physical boundaries of my cats more than some do other people's.  So they like hugging.  Great.  I like picking up and holding cats.  Baxter would have been happy for me to carry him around all day.  Maddie would sit on my lap and purr her way through being petted until my hand got tired, but she didn't want to be held for more than a couple of minutes.  So I held Baxter a lot, held Maddie a little, and spent the rest of our interaction in ways she enjoyed.  When I meet a new cat, I ask the owner if they like being held, or ask the cat, "Can I pick you up?" and then judge their body language.  It's not complicated with a species that doesn't speak any human language; how hard can it be with people?

 

1 hour ago, Sun-Bun said:

So I just realized that I have a brand new pet-peeve that was unbeknownst to me until I had a temporary assistant working with me in my classroom for the past 6 months who was insanely guilty of this annoying little habit:

Repetitive dramatic sighing.

At first I didn't notice, but after a week of constantly hearing this guy dramatically huffing and puffing throughout the day like he's a lead on a Spanish telenovela, I quickly realized it annoyed the shit out of me.

From the moment he'd walk through the door in the morning, until the very end of the day, it was just, "SIGHHHH..." Or "Whewwww!" Or "Ughhh..." Or "Ahhhh..."

Heh. I hadn't really noticed it initially, mostly because I think he may have gotten it from our last dog, but Mr. Mimi totally sighs a lot. What's funny is that he has definitely taught it to our current pup, not initially a sigher, who now also sighs demonstratively whenever she isn't best pleased by whatever you're doing to/with/ or around her. In humans it can get annoying fast, in a dog, it just cracks me up. (That reaction just irks her more, of course, promoting bigger sigh/grunts, so it's a bit of a vicious giggle cycle. All that's missing is draping a paw over her poor suffering head... lol)

 

1 hour ago, Bastet said:

I'm just routinely flabbergasted by the fact I respect the physical boundaries of my cats more than some do other people's.  So they like hugging.  Great.  I like picking up and holding cats.  Baxter would have been happy for me to carry him around all day.  Maddie would sit on my lap and purr her way through being petted until my hand got tired, but she didn't want to be held for more than a couple of minutes.  So I held Baxter a lot, held Maddie a little, and spent the rest of our interaction in ways she enjoyed.  When I meet a new cat, I ask the owner if they like being held, or ask the cat, "Can I pick you up?" and then judge their body language.  It's not complicated with a species that doesn't speak any human language; how hard can it be with people?

I've decided the crucial difference here is that when you maul a cat (er, foist unwanted physical attention unto them), they are very likely to give you a good swipe with a seriously clawed paw. I think if more humans responded the same way, more other humans would learn to ask first and then respect people's boundaries. There's a lesson to be learned in there, I'm sure... *rowr*

[Bastet]

Oh, trust that most people who try to foist an unwanted hug on me find themselves wishing they'd been mauled by an angry cat instead.  Well, I must be more specific -- most people who ignore my polite but firm decline of a hug and persist with their "but I like to hug, so I'll impose that on you" bullshit wind up thinking they'd have been better off trying to manhandle an angry cat.

[Sun-Bun]

I hear you all on the hugging stuff---mostly because "I'm a hugger" too and it's the native Southerner coming out in me. But I try really hard to read body language and not force myself on folks if I remotely sense that they're not feeling it...sometimes a nice firm back/shoulder pat, rub or touch works just as effectively.

What I really don't personally like is kiss greetings, either on the cheeks or the lips! Yes it's so very chic and proper and European, but that's way more awkwardly intimate to me than a simple hug.

I dunno how or why all the Real Housewives from BH and NYC manage to do it so regularly and automatically...as a red lipstick-wearer myself, I get tired of having to explain that I don't want to leave lipstick marks on folks' cheeks and/or force myself to rub off my remaining stain from their faces. It just feels so unnatural and forced.

Edited June 3, 2016 by Sun-Bun

[auntlada]

6 hours ago, Sun-Bun said:

I hear you all on the hugging stuff---mostly because "I'm a hugger" too and it's the native Southerner coming out in me. But I try really hard to read body language and not force myself on folks if I remotely sense that they're not feeling it...sometimes a nice firm back/shoulder pat, rub or touch works just as effectively.

They work as effectively as a hug on me. They work just like a hug. They make me cringe and want to stay out of touching distance of the person. I just don't care to be touched by most people. My son, my husband, my best friend when I haven't seen her in a long time and sometimes my mother. Other than that, a handshake is as far as I'd care to go, and that includes back pats or arm touches.

[zxy556575]

This sounds like a missing Seinfeld episode, but if anyone around me is a oversigher, I haven't noticed (yay for age-related hearing loss?). There is one person at work who's a lip smacker and that definitely assaults my senses. I work remotely and sitting in a phone meeting with her is super annoying. I'm old and unfamiliar with Tyler Oakley, but he was introducing online clips on the Ellen show yesterday and is also afflicted with the same disease. People! It's possible to open your mouth and speak without making loud sticking noises involving your saliva, tongue, roof of the mouth, and lips.

If I had to choose between nervous verbal tics, I'd much rather listen to someone say "uh or um" a hundred times. At this point I'm so used to the millennial habit of inserting "like" every five words that I hardly notice it any more.

Edited June 3, 2016 by lordonia

[DeLurker]

10 hours ago, bilgistic said:

There's an otherwise lovely woman at work who's a closetalker. While I like her, any time I talk to her without a physical barrier between us, she stands about six inches too forward into my personal space. I back away. She inches forward. I shimmy sideways and back. She do-se-does. It's so weird. She's also a hugger. I grew up with lots of affection from my mother, so I'm not a non-hugger, but I'm definitely not a work hugger.

Cats and I communicate a hell of a lot better than I do with people. I let them smell my outstretched paw hand from a safe distance. Usually I get a headbonk on the hand immediately thereafter, and then we're friends and we play in the corner while the humans do human things.

For people I know, I am just candid about my discomfort so I would just tell her that you need more space.  I'd rather they just think I am quirky and respect my stated boundaries.  My former co-workers and friends knew that about me but only because I told them.  My cough is often mistaken for a sneeze, so I find a well timed forced cough a nice barrier to unwanted hugging.

Being touched on the back is soul cringing to me.  I can literally count the people on one hand that I can have touch my back without making me need a sedative.

[Demented Daisy]

Moving sucks.  I used to get excited about it, but now I'm too old for this shit.  I thought that, when we bought a house, we'd be in one place for more than 3 years.  Nope, one year later, the house is sold and we're living in a new one.

Gotta love the military, you know?

[DeLurker]

Grew up as a military brat so we moved often when I was growing up - the longest we were ever in one place was 3 years.  Once my Dad retired and we moved to Florida, it was ok for the first couple of years.  But after that, we were all ready to move again - just weren't used to staying in one place too long.

[backformore]

15 hours ago, Maizie131 said:

How 'bout KISSING?  On the LIPS!  OMG, NO!  Just NO!  I don't care if you're a relative -- unless you're a spouse, just NO!  For the past year I've been helping out with my 92 y.o. EX-mother-in-law (she's wonderful & I love her to pieces).  Anyhow, that whole family is into kissing ON THE LIPS when they leave her.  No way!

There is a Saturday night live skit about a family like that, exaggerated to the point that hello and goodbye become make out sessions with each other.

[Demented Daisy]

6 hours ago, DeLurker said:

Grew up as a military brat so we moved often when I was growing up - the longest we were ever in one place was 3 years.  Once my Dad retired and we moved to Florida, it was ok for the first couple of years.  But after that, we were all ready to move again - just weren't used to staying in one place too long.

I expect we'll feel the same way eventually, but right now I just want to put down some roots.  In 40 years, the longest I've lived in one place/house is 4 years.  It was fun as a kid, fun as a young adult, but I'm ready for some structure/routine!  I'm ready to be bored for a little while.  ;-)

[seahag50]

I hate when I go into a store and need help with something and no one is around.  A few years ago my husband and I went into Walmart to get his fishing license.  We went back to the counter and waited for someone to help.  waited and waited and waited....I kept asking this one clerk can you find someone to help us.   After 15 minutes of waiting I had enough.  I picked up the phone in the department and pushed the speaker button.  Over the entire store I said assistance need in the sporting goods department............waiting waiting another 10 minutes.....I picked up the phone again and this time I said Hey I have a lot of money to spend do you think maybe someone could come over here and take it.....Guess what...I got waited on....my husband wanted to crawl in a hole.As I walked down the aisle one gentleman said to me  Remind me to take you with me when I go shopping.....

[ParadoxLost]

3 hours ago, seahag50 said:

I hate when I go into a store and need help with something and no one is around. 

I hate getting descended upon as soon as I walk in the door.  This happens at any specialized store.  Like appliance stores, mattress stores, and furniture stores.  I try not to shop at stores that specialize in anything as a result. 

The only one I can't avoid is furniture stores.  There I use stealth evasion tactics.  They eventually find me but I make them work for it.

[auntlada]

The last time I was in a furniture store, I told the first salesperson that I wasn't buying right now, but was just seeing what was out there and pricing things (which I was). And they all left me alone. It's an expensive store, but I like it.

[Sandman87]

Peeve: Any kind of media (comic book, movie, video game, whatever) that's a reboot or "re-imagining" or some other kind of do-over which uses the exact same title as the original. I keep getting excited about movies that are listed on my TV channel guide only to find out that it's a crappy remake (Rollerball, for example).

 

On Tuesday, May 31, 2016 at 8:24 PM, auntlada said:

The Wall Street Journal had a story the other day about smart products and whether or not they need to be smart (or even work). One was a smart tampon. Supposedly, it tells the user when it's time to change. (Sorry if this is TMI. It probably is, but it's also something that's hard to resist telling other people about.)

I sincerely hope that it's not some sort of talking tampon. I can just imagine attending a business meeting where someone's crotch suddenly announces that it's new tampon time.

[Bastet]

Quote

Peeve: Any kind of media (comic book, movie, video game, whatever) that's a reboot or "re-imagining" or some other kind of do-over which uses the exact same title as the original. I keep getting excited about movies that are listed on my TV channel guide only to find out that it's a crappy remake (Rollerball, for example).

I always get excited when checking the program guide and seeing The Parent Trap or, especially, Freaky Friday, and then inevitably disappointed when it's the remake.  Seeing Cheaper by the Dozen and anticipating Myrna Loy and Clifton Webb and getting Steve Martin and Bonnie Hunt in the different movie, same title instead (I like both actors, I just don't like that film).  I also have a bad habit of seeing The Holiday as Holiday and being similarly disappointed when I realize my mistake. 

On the flip side, I like the Father of the Bride remake better than the original (sacrilege, I know, given the cast and writers) and am just as disappointed when I'm scrolling through the guide and think it's the former but it's the latter.

[Quof]

Quote

I always get excited when checking the program guide and seeing The Parent Trap or, especially, Freaky Friday, and then inevitably disappointed when it's the remake. 

Or Fame. Or Footloose. Jeezuz, those remakes were travesties.

[DeLurker]

Going back a few days to photographs - I don't like having my picture taken in general and like very few of the photos taken of me over the years.  I don't photograph well (or at least that is what I tell myself instead of ewww!  Fugly!).

One of my brother's photographs and shares every moment of his life (and anyone who is in his vicinity).  I've got a cousin who always gets/posts photos of others mid-bite or from the back at an angle where their ass looks wide.  It really is annoying.

My brother came to visit and noticed I had up several really nice pictures of our niece - this stood out to him because he hadn't been able to get a nice picture of her (where she was smiling).  The issue was, she doesn't like having her photo taken and she is uncomfortable around my brother and his family (they are really good people, but can be viciously snarky).  My niece and I have always been close and we are comfortable around each other.  She doesn't mind me taking her pictures and she doesn't tense up when I do.  The pictures of the two of us are among the ones I like the best of me - we are both happy and relaxed together.

My family and friends have been good about not posting pictures of me and the kids in any social media out of respect for my wishes (explicitly articulated).  There is occasionally one, but we are never labeled.

[ratgirlagogo]

15 hours ago, Sandman87 said:

I sincerely hope that it's not some sort of talking tampon. I can just imagine attending a business meeting where someone's crotch suddenly announces that it's new tampon time.

 I hope with equal sincerity that it DOES talk and says something like GET ME OUT OF YOUR FILTHY BLOODY VAGINA.  Otherwise I'm afraid it will be a big seller. God, what a horrific idea it is. You'd think that menstruation in itself would make women less squeamish and ashamed  about paying attention to their bodies in general and their private parts in particular, but no. We don't need any more products that pander to women's fear of their own bodies.

Edited June 4, 2016 by ratgirlagogo

[DeLurker]

I'm waiting for the Bladder App and Poo App so your smart phone can tell you when you have to go.

[Sandman87]

And then you can use your toilet with the built-in web cam, so you can see when you need to flush.

[DeLurker]

But (butt) I'll still have an annoying British bitch asking me about my bum. 

[BookWoman56]

Although I also dislike the excessive sighing some people do, I'd much rather have that than someone who deliberately and repeatedly slurps his or her coffee. I cannot abide the sound of it. When I was still working in cubicle-land, there was someone a couple of cubes down who would always loudly slurp his coffee. Every damn morning. It got to where I had to go hide out in the break room or restroom for 5-10 minutes as soon as he started in with the coffee. It was either that or start screaming at him, "Can't you wait one freaking minute until your coffee has cooled off enough to drink normally, instead of torturing everybody around you with the slurping?" On top of that, the coffee slurping was often followed by eating a bowl of loud, crunchy cereal. WTF? Can't people eat breakfast at home? Or if they can't eat breakfast at home, what about going to the perfectly nice break room right down the hall so other people who are trying to work don't have to listen to the sounds of breakfast being consumed? I know some people will say they have no time to eat before they start work, but this guy wasn't even pretending to work, just playing with his phone, etc., for the first 15 minutes he was there, even though he was supposed to be working during that time. And related to that, if you don't want to have breakfast at home, and feel compelled to go spend outrageous amounts of money at the onsite cafeteria for breakfast, could you possibly consider getting to work 5-10 minutes early so you eat on your own time instead of scarfing down food on company time, when you are not actually doing any work? (I fully understand and sympathize with people who end up having to eat lunch at their desk because they can't take a break; I sometimes end up doing the same thing on days when I am booked for teleconference meetings nonstop from 10:30 am until 2 or 3 pm. I work from home, so I put my phone on mute long enough to eat something quickly. It sucks, but I understand sometimes it's necessary.)

FWIW, I have the same issue with people who are habitually late to work. A former colleague was almost always a few minutes late, generally at least 5 minutes and often closer to 10. And there was always some excuse about traffic, etc. Other colleagues and I failed to understand, if you know you are consistently getting to work about 5 minutes late, why the hell don't you leave 5 minutes earlier so you can arrive on time? It's not that difficult a concept. Again, I understand that everybody will be late occasionally. But there's a difference between being late one day every 4-5 months because of a major accident that closes down several lanes of traffic, and being late every single day because you can't be bothered to leave when you should.

[Blergh]

And I don't even see why it would be anyone's biz online what color socks I'm wearing so I can't imagine why anyone would want  others to have access to bathroom or hygiene issues. UGH

[Quof]

Because there are people (women) who talk about these things, in public, all the time.  Really, women, no one wants to hear about your gynecological health in a restaurant.   Or anywhere else, besides your doctor's office, or the privacy of your own home.

[BooksRule]

Quote

Although I also dislike the excessive sighing some people do, I'd much rather have that than someone who deliberately and repeatedly slurps his or her coffee

I hate that too.  I work with a guy who usually gets coffee to drink in his office, but occasionally he will bring it to a meeting.  Although he quiets down after a couple of minutes, his first sip or two is always 'sluuurrrrrp!' followed by an 'ahhhhhhh!' of satisfaction.  You would think he was in a coffee commercial.  Also, even though he doesn't do this at every meeting, he does tend to carry around a ginormous thermos of water that he drinks from often, and not usually quietly.  

Quote

FWIW, I have the same issue with people who are habitually late to work. A former colleague was almost always a few minutes late, generally at least 5 minutes and often closer to 10. And there was always some excuse about traffic, etc

That is a huge peeve of mine!  There are two or three people at work who are late almost every day.  One of them is sometimes up to an hour late at least once a week (I think he justifies it because he comes in and works a few weekend hours every once in a while, but it doesn't work that way.  Unless you are scheduled for a weekend shift, if you come in you are there by choice and are on your own time).  Each of those people always has some excuse, but it's not fair to those of us who manage to get here on time.  And what makes it more frustrating is that the people who are constantly late know that there isn't much that can be done to them.  If they do their jobs otherwise (which is debatable, since they are usually scrambling to catch up) they won't be fired (state employee).  They might get a note put in their personnel file, but that doesn't mean much except in rare merit raise time or if budget is so tight that someone has to be laid off (they might get put higher up on the list)..

[DeLurker]

The kind of work I did was mostly independent, so most of us didn't get too worked up with other peoples* coming and goings.  I had a co-worker who consistently did not come in until after 10:30 AM, but was at her desk/ productive until 8 - 9 PM most nights and 75% did additional work on the weekends.  At my last job, I did specify it before hire because I was a single Mom at that point.  I usually got in 30 minutes late and left 45-60 minutes early to drop off/pick up kids.  95% of the time I did 2 - 3 hours of work after they went to bed and was answering emails/doing conference calls from home with out East Coast office (I was West).

*Only true for some of the staff - support people who worked the head numbers monkeys relied on didn't have that much flexibility since they usually were assigned to support 2-3 monkeys (me included) who had deals in different stages.

Edited June 5, 2016 by DeLurker

[ABay]

As someone who considers herself late if she's not 15 minutes early, habitual lateness in others makes me borderline homicidal. I'm convinced one of my friends interprets "let's meet at 7" to mean "leave your house at 7 to meet me". Gah!

However, when it comes to work, I don't pay attention to what others do as long as they're on time to relieve me at the reference desk. We technically have regular schedules, all starting and ending at different times because we cover the desk 8 am to 9 pm, but during the fall and spring semesters those schedules are just a theoretical construct because we all do instruction, belong to committees, meet with students when it's convenient for them, etc. We're always switching desk times with each other to make sure it's covered and we all answer reference questions on weekends from home. If someone stays late to meet a grad student or comes in early for a committee meeting, I don't see a problem with compensating by leaving early or coming in late another day. Administrators don't like it because they would prefer that the university be run like a factory but I take a "don't ask, don't tell" approach to my colleagues' timekeeping. 

Edited June 5, 2016 by ABay

[DeLurker]

14 minutes ago, ABay said:

As someone who considers herself late if she's not 15 minutes early, habitual lateness in others makes me borderline homicidal. I'm convinced one of my friends interprets "let's meet at 7" to mean "leave your house at 7 to meet me". Gah!

That was my ex father-in-law.  Out of defiance started in their childhood, none of his children were ever on time - did not matter if it was a wedding, funeral, holiday meal, etc,,,my ex could be counted on showing up an hour late (at a minimum).  I'd ask the ex what time the kids and I should be ready to go to whatever was planned and we'd be ready at that time.  He'd just be starting to get ready at that time, decide he needed to go get shoe polish or some other crap.  There was once that 15 minutes before we were supposed to leave he HAD to have a new dress shirt and went to the mall to get one.  When we finally would get on the road, he'd bitch the entire way about how his Dad was so anal about time because he is a control freak.  It was no fun to be married to that guy nor trapped in a car with him on one of these occasions.

My favorite reason for being late to a holiday dinner is when my ex was ready at the time he said we should leave (GASP!), but then 1/2 way there he picked up another highway going in the opposite direction because there was a truck for sale he wanted to see practically "on the way".  We were four hours late that time.

Edited June 5, 2016 by DeLurker
No one was surprised when I filed for divorce. Even his family wondered why it had taken me so long.

[Bastet]

Other than with people whose work is something that must be done at a specific time (e.g. receptionist, security guard, something where there are shifts), I don't care what time anyone who works with or for me comes in or leaves, so long as the work is done well and on time -- I only care about punctuality when someone else is depending on it.  (And that includes social situations; leaving someone sitting around waiting for you isn't any less rude just because they're your friend.)  Otherwise, I don't care if someone works 9-5, 11-7, or anything else (not that I'd know who was in the office early; unless I have to be in court or have an early meeting, you sure won't be seeing my ass in the office [or even on my computer at home] at 9:00). 

And the first 15-20 minutes in the office are your own time if you report to me - get some coffee/tea, have a muffin, check the headlines, etc. and rest assured I won't be asking you anything until you've had time to settle in.

Edited June 5, 2016 by Bastet

[BooksRule]

Quote

However, when it comes to work, I don't pay attention to what others do as long as they're on time to relieve me at the reference desk. We technically have regular schedules, all starting and ending at different times because we cover the desk 8 am to 9 pm, but during the fall and spring semesters those schedules are just a theoretical construct because we all do instruction, belong to committees, meet with students when it's convenient for them, etc. We're always switching desk times with each other to make sure it's covered and we all answer reference questions on weekends from home. If someone stays late to meet a grad student or comes in early for a committee meeting, I don't see a problem with compensating by leaving early or coming in late another day. Administrators don't like it because they would prefer that the university be run like a factory but I take a "don't ask, don't tell" approach to my colleagues' timekeeping.

 That's a lot like my job.  Tardiness among others isn't a real problem except when that person is supposed to be the 'person in charge' at opening time (which means that if they aren't there someone else has to get the library ready for our first 'customers' of the day).  It's not fair to make others pick up the slack (even though they know what to do) because they have their own work to do.  As faculty, it's understood that if we stay late to meet with a student or to do instruction for a class, that we can either come in late that morning or take the time off at others times.  I just get irked when people just seem to want to come and go on the university's time.  I'm trying to get better at ignoring people who do this unless it's someone in my department.  If I supervise them, I have a right to try to curb their bad habits.  I've gotten much better at the 'I have no idea' when the director walks up to a dark locked office and wants to know where so-and-so might be at 8:25am.   

[bilgistic]

This probably belongs in the Work thread, but since we're on the topic...

I get in to work at 9. I rarely get to take a lunch break or any other break--including bathroom, for that matter, and I routinely work at least 9.5 hours a day. My "boss" (broker I support) bitched about me "taking too long to make [my] coffee", and he snits if I'm not in my seat at 9 on the dot. Needless to say, he's one of those people who needs no more six hours of sleep, goes to the gym at 0'dark:30, and bounces in a whole 30 minutes before me (and leaves before me).

My middle manager wrote up one of my coworkers last week because she was out two days sick. I got the same treatment for being out sick in March, but escaped getting written up. We aren't "attending to the brokers' needs" when we're home puking. Go figure.

Yet...yet...one of the support staff can come and go as she pleases because she has kids. Another works whatever schedule she wants because her broker doesn't care. The other brokers' staff aren't expected to work overtime like I am, and are in fact required to work no more than 40 hours a week. So some of us are treated one way, and some another. And only two of us get commissions, and guess who they are?? Yep--the mom and "broker doesn't care".

The real estate world isn't going to stop spinning if I get in at 9:05. Nor will it if I have a five-minute coffee break. The attitude about time-watching is oppressive and our morale is worse than ever. I muse that our middle manager should just install a timeclock that we can punch like 15-year-olds at Taco Bell.

[DeLurker]

What my cat thinks:  Mutts

[bilgistic]

I know everyone says this every year, but it's the beginning of June, and it's already in the high 80 degrees here in Charlotte. It was 91 yesterday. July and August are going to be absolutely miserable.

I'm already sleeping in my underwear atop the sheet on my bed with nothing over me, and I wake up sweating. My thermostat's at 74, and I hate to run it any lower because it's not cheap. Granted, it doesn't help that I have a cat that has to be touching and/or laying on me at all times.

[DeLurker]

You might try adding a fan for additional circulation instead of lowering thermostat/running up electric bill. 

[zxy556575]

My company has all remote workers doing product support (16 people for my product). Everyone is basically sharing a job and there's a lot of jostling and discontent if someone is perceived as not carrying his or her fair share of the load. All activity -- phone calls, help tickets, meetings -- is tracked and everyone can see it.

I can't tell you how much time I spent when I was the manager telling everyone to please focus on their own jobs, not anyone else's. Be at your desk on time, do your job, leave on time. Product support staff are never required to put in extra hours. Despite this, a few remained obsessed about what they perceived as others slacking off. One person told me her "blood was boiling" every night when she went home. Well, then job sharing isn't right for you! Calm down and give your co-workers the benefit of the fucking doubt. It's not like she didn't occasionally duck out to pick up sick kids from school, and she also begged for an adjustment to her hours so she was off a half hour earlier for child care.

With a couple of exceptions like the woman above, everyone starts at 9am Eastern when the phone lines open.  Two people were always late; one significantly because she "overslept" and the other who chronically logged in around 9:10 or 9:15. The first was ultimately fired and I always dinged the second in her evaluations. I mean ... she has a full time nanny. The kids are off to school before 9 am. Why can't she be at her desk on time? The other staff members are all logged in. It was causing strife among her co-workers (and me when I had to listen to their complaints every day).

The company provides unlimited leave for personal appointments and that same woman regularly takes four times as much as anyone else in order to attend events at her kids' schools.

I mean, everyone knew the job and the required hours when they were hired, and I was sick to death of listening to them bitch about it. That's a wide-ranging peeve but it was by far the worst part of the job for me.

Edited June 6, 2016 by lordonia

[Maharincess]

I have a big pet peeve today.  Myself. 

I hate people like me who have a bad day and take it out on other people.  I'm not normally like that but the past few days I've been bitching and snapping at everybody.   Both here and in my real life.  I hate doing this, it's just not me but sometimes I just can't help it. It comes out before I know what I'm saying. 

So yeah, my hate for today is for myself. 

[backformore]

@lordonia  that kind of stuff drives me crazy too.   When my kids were young, I worked part time, so I could juggle responsibilities.   I knew I couldn't take on a full-time job AND be at school/scout/sports events, help with homework, etc.   But now, it seems like SOME parents expect to have all the benefits of a full-time job without being there full-time. 

My current work-related peeve is this -  AN office building, with one thermostat controlling the whole building.  Whoever controls it - in a completely different office - hast it set low, so the A/C is BLASTING, and our section if freezing cold.   I'm pretty impervious to temperature, it has to be extreme for me to be bothered, but it is COLD.   So, instead of directing a complaint to the people in charge, our supervisor brings in a space heater.   Here's the issue - the heater drives up the temperature of the air, which is then picked up by the vents, going to the office where the thermostat is.  this triggers the thermostat to keep the A/C on, to battle the heat coming through.  SO using a heater to combat the A/C makes the A/C work harder, with the end result of it being even colder.  Sitting in an office where there is both a heater blowing hot air AND cold air coming through the vents is just crazy.  

[ratgirlagogo]

2 hours ago, Maharincess said:

I hate people like me who have a bad day and take it out on other people.

Wince.  I hate when I resemble this remark.  Which I do, too often.

[Quof]

Quote

But now, it seems like SOME parents expect to have all the benefits of a full-time job without being there full-time

I was leaving my office in the middle of the day when a colleague asked where I was going. I replied "I'm going to pick up my kids."  The response was a puzzled look, since there are no such creatures. I elaborated "It appears that kids are a get-out-a-jail-free card, as all anyone has to do is invoke their children as an excuse to come and go as they please. So I decided I needed to get me some of those."   

I already worked more hours than any of my colleagues, including doing a disproportionate amount of the work that involved going out of town or handling last minute emergencies that required late nights and weekends because parents couldn't be expected to handle those. 

They stopped asking where I was going, and I offered a simple courtesy "I'm leaving.  I'll be back at X o'clock."

[zxy556575]

My company is around 160 people and personnel rules are always evolving as we grow. The same woman who's tardy also made HR change policy three times:

- She works part time with Fridays off. She felt she should get an extra day off to compensate whenever holidays fell on a Friday. (The staff manual was updated to specify that was not the case.)

- She's Jewish and wanted to use professional leave for religious holidays. Professional leave time is limited to 2 hour appointments, and it's not like she didn't gladly take Christmas off. (The company added 2 personal days across the board that could be used for any reason.)

- Due to her complaints about school events, HR updated our employee manual to specify that leave could be used "for professional appointments (doctor, dentist, lawyer, etc.) that cannot be done outside of business hours and for parental obligations (e.g. school events)." Then they also started sending monthly letters to the managers of anyone they felt exceeded a "normal" amount of professional leave. Which, come on. Either it's unlimited or it's not. If it's not, I would have denied her leave requests in the first place. But I also felt she should try to schedule her dental appointments or whatnot on her damned Fridays off.

She is the senior support specialist and does good work overall so it's a case of a couple of bad habits with the good. She's been at the company long enough that she has 22 vacation days, 2 personal days, holidays plus her 4-day workweek -- it's enough already!

[topanga]

On 6/2/2016 at 5:54 PM, Bastet said:

What is it with people who are offered a handshake, declare "I'm a hugger," and then grab the poor soul instead of accepting the handshake?  If I warn you up front, "I'm a fondler," is it suddenly acceptable for me to grab a breast?

Ha! I'd love to try that one at church.

[auntlada]

14 hours ago, backformore said:

@lordonia  that kind of stuff drives me crazy too.   When my kids were young, I worked part time, so I could juggle responsibilities.   I knew I couldn't take on a full-time job AND be at school/scout/sports events, help with homework, etc.   But now, it seems like SOME parents expect to have all the benefits of a full-time job without being there full-time. 

My current work-related peeve is this -  AN office building, with one thermostat controlling the whole building.  Whoever controls it - in a completely different office - hast it set low, so the A/C is BLASTING, and our section if freezing cold.   I'm pretty impervious to temperature, it has to be extreme for me to be bothered, but it is COLD.   So, instead of directing a complaint to the people in charge, our supervisor brings in a space heater.   Here's the issue - the heater drives up the temperature of the air, which is then picked up by the vents, going to the office where the thermostat is.  this triggers the thermostat to keep the A/C on, to battle the heat coming through.  SO using a heater to combat the A/C makes the A/C work harder, with the end result of it being even colder.  Sitting in an office where there is both a heater blowing hot air AND cold air coming through the vents is just crazy.  

You'd think the people responsible for paying the utilities and the bottom line would want to put a stop to the space heater and the air conditioning blasting.

[Sandman87]

On Sunday, June 05, 2016 at 9:10 AM, Bastet said:

And the first 15-20 minutes in the office are your own time if you report to me - get some coffee/tea, have a muffin, check the headlines, etc. and rest assured I won't be asking you anything until you've had time to settle in.

 

During the time when I was doing desktop support I developed a routine where I spent the first hour of my day hitting all the tech websites for the latest relevant tech news while I drank my coffee and settled in. My supervisor decided that I was slacking off (without asking me what I was doing) and complained to my manager. I explained to him that reading up on all the fixes each morning was one of the reasons that I was closing 50% more trouble tickets than anyone else (as well as getting better customer feedback), and that the customers were usually easier to work with after they had had some time to drink their coffee and organize their day. Then I pointed out that my daily research hour was helping to compensate for the fact that the company had never furnished the quota of training to me that they were supposed to give to each employee every year.

He told my supervisor to leave me alone and gave me a raise at my next performance review.

[janestclair]

16 hours ago, backformore said:

My current work-related peeve is this -  AN office building, with one thermostat controlling the whole building.  Whoever controls it - in a completely different office - hast it set low, so the A/C is BLASTING, and our section if freezing cold.   I'm pretty impervious to temperature, it has to be extreme for me to be bothered, but it is COLD.   So, instead of directing a complaint to the people in charge, our supervisor brings in a space heater.   Here's the issue - the heater drives up the temperature of the air, which is then picked up by the vents, going to the office where the thermostat is.  this triggers the thermostat to keep the A/C on, to battle the heat coming through.  SO using a heater to combat the A/C makes the A/C work harder, with the end result of it being even colder.  Sitting in an office where there is both a heater blowing hot air AND cold air coming through the vents is just crazy.  

Our thermostat isn't controllable either - only at central administration, which is another building halfway across town.  My classroom gets pretty cold, but not as cold as directly across the hall (57F once, measured with a thermometer we have for chemistry labs), but the other side of the school is generally pretty warm.  So, you generally think you know how to dress based on where you are in the building, unless they've turned off the heat or the AC because reasons, then all bets are off.   Clearly, the HVAC system is screwy, and we've tried telling them it's more energy efficient to leave the heat/AC on rather than turning it completely off, but they do not listen. The poor kids have to dress for 4 seasons to get through their day if they have classes in different areas of the building.  It's highly annoying, but at least I'm in one place most of the day, and can stockpile a selection of cardigans in my back room.  Today I was pretty chilly, even with a cardigan. But I also have a damn cold, so maybe that's why.  I had a coworker (retired) who used to light all the bunsen burners in the room to warm it up. Luckily, he never burned down the building.  

[harrie]

14 hours ago, Quof said:

I was leaving my office in the middle of the day when a colleague asked where I was going. I replied "I'm going to pick up my kids."  The response was a puzzled look, since there are no such creatures. I elaborated "It appears that kids are a get-out-a-jail-free card, as all anyone has to do is invoke their children as an excuse to come and go as they please. So I decided I needed to get me some of those."   

I already worked more hours than any of my colleagues, including doing a disproportionate amount of the work that involved going out of town or handling last minute emergencies that required late nights and weekends because parents couldn't be expected to handle those. 

They stopped asking where I was going, and I offered a simple courtesy "I'm leaving.  I'll be back at X o'clock."

I used to do something like that in an old job. Co-workers would go for a smoke and disappear for half an hour; meanwhile, we non-smokers are taking messages for the smoker, doing some of their work if it's in our realm and urgent, etc.  So I started going for a smoke (I don't smoke, and didn't take it up) every once in a while, and I'd just take a walk around the building.  It was very relaxing. 

[Qoass]

I've bitched about this before but hope springs eternal that someday the stationery producers will listen:

Is it so hard to print a card with a nice picture that just says "Happy Father's Day"?  My dad is not the fix-it type and doesn't drink beer and we're not at all lovey dovey so none of those cards work.  The ones with scatological humor are just plain insulting.  Given that we're expected to drop five dollars on a piece of cardboard in an age when digital greetings have become comme il faut, it's time you all got with the program or just give up the ghost.

And that goes for next Mother's Day too.

[auntlada]

I always hated the lists of what to get your dad or mom for Father's Day or Mother's Day. My dad did not build things. He did not fix things if he could help it. He did not want electronics. He usually got a shirt from me because I knew he regularly cleaned out his closet and could always use new shirts.

My mom, on the other hand, wanted things like cordless drills and didn't need more perfume or jewelry, although she would be happy with anything. She always told us she wanted socks and a hairbrush so we wouldn't spend too much money on her.

[DeLurker]

1 hour ago, Qoass said:

I've bitched about this before but hope springs eternal that someday the stationery producers will listen:

Is it so hard to print a card with a nice picture that just says "Happy Father's Day"? 

I usually find them at Trader Joe's.  I just buy blank cards with a picture I like or I think the recipient would like, scribble Happy Father's/Mother's/Birth Day in side and I am done.  Think they cost $0.99.  Theoretically, other stores will also have blank cards, but they cost more.

When I go see my folks this summer, I am going to take several picture's of my Mom's wee beastie (her cat) to use for making my own cards for her.  I'll just print up the picture and slap it on to card stock.  For my Dad, I am going to ask my cousin who still lives where Dad grew up to go around and take pictures of things he would remember - the lake, the dam they used to go swimming in, old buildings in the downtown area and, most importantly, the roadside ice cream shop both my parents love.

You can also turn digital photos into postcards at my local Walgreens, so I imagine that service is available in lots of places.

[backformore]

1 hour ago, Qoass said:

I've bitched about this before but hope springs eternal that someday the stationery producers will listen:

Is it so hard to print a card with a nice picture that just says "Happy Father's Day"?  My dad is not the fix-it type and doesn't drink beer and we're not at all lovey dovey so none of those cards work.  The ones with scatological humor are just plain insulting.  Given that we're expected to drop five dollars on a piece of cardboard in an age when digital greetings have become comme il faut, it's time you all got with the program or just give up the ghost.

And that goes for next Mother's Day too.

Yes,  Father's day cards are about drinking, grilling, farting, or playing golf - because that's what dads do?   I gave up on finding the "right"  card, I settle for finding one that's acceptable.

5 minutes ago, DeLurker said:

 

You can also turn digital photos into postcards at my local Walgreens, so I imagine that service is available in lots of places.

What a great idea!   thanks.