Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[KittyMom4]

On 3/31/2021 at 4:24 PM, Silver Bells said:

My husband bought a new 44 inch superdooper t.v. for the bedroom.  I shut the door and have the whole living room to myself.  That’s all he watches .. golf, football, basketball, baseball, hockey and all the sports shows with all the stats.  My Mother used to say “at least you know where he is”, lol.

Mr. Keps watches sports, sports talk, sports analysis, sports everything, drives me nuts. Endless comparisons, analysis, thoughts, ideas, critiques, etc. I can't stand it. And there is one show where the two hosts "argue" with each other shouting and cutting each other off, irritating beyond belief. 

On 4/3/2021 at 4:24 PM, Mittengirl said:

 I can sort of understand the pasta sauce conundrum, as there approximately 6000 varieties, but milk?  One brand, four fat levels.  Just grab one and get the hell out of my way!

Coffee creamers, 15 different flavors, 7 different sizes and people looking at every.single.one as if they are the only person in the store. Good grief, stand back and let me grab the flavor I want and you can continue to study each label after I've walked away! 

[Bastet]

13 hours ago, isalicat said:

I've learned from this that patience is an underrated and under practiced virtue and there are ways to be kind and smiley while we interact with the less time constrained among us.

Well, yeah, I don't advocate barking, "Get out of my way, asshole, I could have finished my shopping in the time you've spent reading labels!" instead of saying, "Pardon me, I need to grab something in front of you." 

[Moose135]

13 minutes ago, Bastet said:

Well, yeah, I don't advocate barking, "Get out of my way, asshole, I could have finished my shopping in the time you've spent reading labels!"

Clearly you are not a New Yorker... 😆

[MargeGunderson]

22 minutes ago, Bastet said:

Well, yeah, I don't advocate barking, "Get out of my way, asshole, I could have finished my shopping in the time you've spent reading labels!" instead of saying, "Pardon me, I need to grab something in front of you." 

Oh, I’ve been doing it wrong.....

ETA - @Moose135, or a MassHole (Massachusetts). Our attitude is not confined just to driving!

Edited April 5, 2021 by MargeGunderson

[Bastet]

11 minutes ago, Moose135 said:

Clearly you are not a New Yorker... 😆

Sometimes my inner dialogue would suggest otherwise, but, no, what comes out of my mouth is generally in line with Los Angeles.  Which means sometimes it's instead "Dude, really?"

[Cobb Salad]

45 minutes ago, icemiser69 said:

I didn't trust the dude after your first post.  After the above post, I think I was correct in not trusting him.  I hope he doesn't try and sabotage your selling of the house to someone else.  I won't be shocked if he does try and sabotage it.  He seems awfully invested in making sure he gets the house.  I don't know why.  I don't trust anything he says.

Thanks - I’ve had the same thoughts.  We have an experienced agent on our side who is aware of what happened with this guy and I’m certain she’s seen plenty through the years that in the end we'll walk away with what we want.  The house is on a corner and his house is on the side street so at least whoever ultimately lives there won’t have to look at him every day.  

[peacheslatour]

18 hours ago, Cobb Salad said:

Thanks - I’ve had the same thoughts.  We have an experienced agent on our side who is aware of what happened with this guy and I’m certain she’s seen plenty through the years that in the end we'll walk away with what we want.  The house is on a corner and his house is on the side street so at least whoever ultimately lives there won’t have to look at him every day.  

When I was selling my dad's house there was a neighbor who desperately wanted to do a house swap. She would try to talk to people looking at the house but she gave off such an entitled vibe, she had no effect on the outcome. We got asking.

[Callietwo]

My mom passed away 3 weeks ago, and we as a family decided to sell the house "As Is" as it needs a TON of work due to dad never letting anyone into his house when he was alive.

Recently, the house right next door sold for 157,000 to a flipper and was listed for 275k and after a bidding war, was sold for 305K.  That house was in far better shape than Mom's house is now when it sold pre-flip.

A neighbor who helped Mom & Dad with things like yard work and whatnot has offered 200K all cash, as is.  We're jumping on it.  That said, it makes getting mom's stuff distributed, sold or trashed quickly an imperative which is stressful.  (a lot of junk you couldn't give away in there)  

We're just happy to have this offer, the neighbor has been wonderful to our family and we're actually grateful.. no realtor needed, just lawyers.  

To keep on topic, my pet peeve is how the siblings decided who gets what- Mom always said the group of us could fight over her junk after she was dead.  We're not exactly fighting over it but this would've been a LOT easier if it had been done differently. 

Personally, this has lit a fire under my own ass to get my shit together and deal with all this now, rather than leave to our kids to deal with.  Right now, it's six of us siblings dealing with Mom's things, but in my case it'll be my two and my husbands two which would be a whole 'nother level of stressful.  

Edited April 6, 2021 by Callietwo

[peacheslatour]

42 minutes ago, Callietwo said:

My mom passed away 3 weeks ago, and we as a family decided to sell the house "As Is" as it needs a TON of work due to dad never letting anyone into his house when he was alive.

Recently, the house right next door sold for 157,000 by a flipper and was listed for 275k and after a bidding war, was sold for 305K.  That house was in far better shape than Mom's house is now when it sold pre-flip.

A neighbor who helped Mom & Dad with things like yard work and whatnot has offered 200K all cash, as is.  We're jumping on it.  That said, it makes getting mom's stuff distributed, sold or trashed quickly an imperative which is stressful.  (a lot of junk you couldn't give away in there)  

We're just happy to have this offer, the neighbor has been wonderful to our family and we're actually grateful.. no realtor needed, just lawyers.  

To keep on topic, my pet peeve is how the siblings decided who gets what- Mom always said the group of us could fight over her junk after she was dead.  We're not exactly fighting over it but this would've been a LOT easier if it had been done differently. 

Personally, this has lit a fire under my own ass to get my shit together and deal with all this now, rather than leave to our kids to deal with.  Right now, it's six of us siblings dealing with Mom's things, but in my case it'll be my two and my husbands two which would be a whole 'nother level of stressful.  

So glad to be an only child. Find yourself a good junk hauler. We found a great one through the estate sale company. We've used him several time since we sold my dad's house. He's awesome. He'll even come over and help us move heavy stuff to our storage unit. Best of luck. 

I'm so sorry about your mom.

Edited April 6, 2021 by peacheslatour

[MargeGunderson]

@Callietwo, I’m so sorry for the loss of your mom. It’s great that you got an offer from the neighbor for the house, but it sounds like a bit of mixed blessing to have to deal with everything so quickly. My mother-in-law has actually said that my husband and I will just have to deal with everything when she’s gone. She is a lovely person other than this. 90% of what she has is going in a dumpster and we’re selling the house as is as fast as we can (which hopefully won’t be for another 20 years at least).

[WinnieWinkle]

3 hours ago, Callietwo said:

To keep on topic, my pet peeve is how the siblings decided who gets what- Mom always said the group of us could fight over her junk after she was dead.  We're not exactly fighting over it but this would've been a LOT easier if it had been done differently. 

Personally, this has lit a fire under my own ass to get my shit together and deal with all this now, rather than leave to our kids to deal with.  Right now, it's six of us siblings dealing with Mom's things, but in my case it'll be my two and my husbands two which would be a whole 'nother level of stressful.  

When my FIL died he was living in a Veteran's home so we didn't have to sell a house or dispose of property really but even so it took over a year to settle his estate.  This may have been partly because my husband's older sister is a total control freak and every i had to be dotted and t crossed before we could finally close the books on it so to speak.  I am always surprised though when I hear about things moving so quickly as I had assumed you can't disperse funds or give away possessions or whatever until you know there are no claims on the estate that might come up and bite you in the ass!  Again this could be because of my ultra paranoid SIL!

I honestly don't think my kids will fight over settling our estate (or come to blows over who gets my Nancy Drew collection 🙂 ) but I agree with you I really need to get organized and my husband and I really need to update our will.  As it stands right now my parents gets custody of our kids - which would come as some surprise to all concerned I suspect!

[Callietwo]

4 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

So glad to be an only child. Find yourself a good junk hauler. We found a great one through the estate sale company. We've used him several time since we sold my dad's house. He's awesome. He'll even come over and help us move heavy stuff to our storage unit. Best of luck. 

I'm so sorry about your mom.

Thank you.  It was such a shock, and I still can't believe she's gone.

I'm headed south this weekend to meet with two of my siblings and to go through the house a third time and to help clear stuff out.  I think we should just throw the furniture out on the lawn w/ a free sign.. mom lived on a busy enough street that it'd all be gone by nightfall and what's left should be tossed into a dumpster.  

2 hours ago, MargeGunderson said:

@Callietwo, I’m so sorry for the loss of your mom. It’s great that you got an offer from the neighbor for the house, but it sounds like a bit of mixed blessing to have to deal with everything so quickly. My mother-in-law has actually said that my husband and I will just have to deal with everything when she’s gone. She is a lovely person other than this. 90% of what she has is going in a dumpster and we’re selling the house as is as fast as we can (which hopefully won’t be for another 20 years at least).

Thank you..  Mom always said that with the six of us, she couldn't deal with deciding who gets what.  We ended up all doing a walk through and putting our names on stickers on what we wanted.  If two wanted something, we simply drew names.  🤷‍♀️  Pretty basic.  There was one item where a sister was pretty upset my name was drawn, instead of hers but as soon as I saw her face, I handed the item to her.  It clearly meant more to her.  But that was the only time there was an issue, and was easy to solve.  I hated that this was done before Mom's funeral.. it felt gross to me.  There were legitimate reasons to do so, though.  (for one, we all there at the time)

1 hour ago, WinnieWinkle said:

When my FIL died he was living in a Veteran's home so we didn't have to sell a house or dispose of property really but even so it took over a year to settle his estate.  This may have been partly because my husband's older sister is a total control freak and every i had to be dotted and t crossed before we could finally close the books on it so to speak.  I am always surprised though when I hear about things moving so quickly as I had assumed you can't disperse funds or give away possessions or whatever until you know there are no claims on the estate that might come up and bite you in the ass!  Again this could be because of my ultra paranoid SIL!

There won't be any funds, even from the sale of the house, disbursed to anyone until the estate is settled through the courts but the way things were settled with Mom, she had made it clear we were to pick through her things similar to how it ended up happening. 

We did our thing as siblings then each of our kids were given the opportunity to choose anything left and now we have to deal with  what remains (which is a lot.) My sister is the executor, and is very much a dotted i & crossed t kind of person.  She'd been Mom & Dad's power of attorney for close to a decade so she's well familiar with all the details and she keeps copious records to document everything she did to prevent any questions.  I'm glad I wasn't the one tasked with the job as I'm nowhere near as organized.  

With the house sale, my sis is meeting with the estate lawyer before we do anything.   

1 hour ago, WinnieWinkle said:

I honestly don't think my kids will fight over settling our estate (or come to blows over who gets my Nancy Drew collection 🙂 ) but I agree with you I really need to get organized and my husband and I really need to update our will.  As it stands right now my parents gets custody of our kids - which would come as some surprise to all concerned I suspect!

None of us have little ones anymore,  just who gets custody of my kitties, lol.  (My daughter)

We're not really fighting per se, I just didn't like doing that before Mom remains were laid to rest.  It seemed so disrespectful of her. 

[peacheslatour]

Quote

We're not really fighting per se, I just didn't like doing that before Mom remains were laid to rest.  It seemed so disrespectful of her. 

I had to do it and my dad is still alive. He's in a memory care facility. It's really nice. More like a high end resort but the guilt I felt (and still feel) about disposing of his house, his cars and all of the furnishings was and is rough. But the place he's in is very expensive and I need to take care of him for the rest of his life. I had to sell the house.

[Callietwo]

20 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

I had to do it and my dad is still alive. He's in a memory care facility. It's really nice. More like a high end resort but the guilt I felt (and still feel) about disposing of his house, his cars and all of the furnishings was and is rough. But the place he's in is very expensive and I need to take care of him for the rest of his life. I had to sell the house.

I'm sorry you're dealing with that, it's very hard. 

Mom was in a very nice memory care home this last year..  It was lovely but yeah, they definitely aren't cheap!  She called it her happy place.  Thankfully, dad had made sure we could afford to do that.  

[peacheslatour]

3 hours ago, Callietwo said:

I'm sorry you're dealing with that, it's very hard. 

Mom was in a very nice memory care home this last year..  It was lovely but yeah, they definitely aren't cheap!  She called it her happy place.  Thankfully, dad had made sure we could afford to do that.  

Same here. If my parents hadn't worked hard all their lives and invested wisely, I couldn't begin to take care of him now.

[Calvada]

After going through my dad's stuff and then my mom's (they died about 10 years apart) I resolved to pare down the amount of stuff I have.  But there are still items that I'm sure will have my nieces and nephews asking why Calvada kept this/ever bought this or more likely, what the hell is this?!  After my dad died my mom sold the house we were all raised in.  She bought a condo which was a lot smaller than the house so a lot of weeding out was done then.  But there was still so much to go through when she died.  It's never easy.  You have my sympathy, Callietwo, for your loss. 

Going back to the earlier conversation about blocking the dairy aisle, I get the same items routinely, but for me the delay is checking expiration dates.  It's a pain having to pick up several quarts of milk just to find one that doesn't expire the next day, or worse, expired 2 days ago.  And in Covid times when the days and weeks have blurred together, there were a couple times when I picked up an item, checked the date, thought OK, put it in my cart and started walking away when I suddenly remembered what the current date was and realized no, that expiration date's not OK.

[peacheslatour]

Quote

 I resolved to pare down the amount of stuff I have.

I don't know how I'm going to deal with that. My DH has approx. 46 million Lionel train sets. Nobody wants them, yet I'd feel terrible about chucking them. I'm looking for day cares and schools I can donate them to.

[Bastet]

My grandpa was a hoarder (nowhere near bad enough to be exploited on that horrible show, but a hoarder), and I was the one who sorted through the contents of his house after he died; between sentimental attachment and a whiff of the "well, maybe I could use that" notion that snowballed his situation into what it became, my mom was not right for the task, and my dad wouldn't have had the patience.

It was overwhelming, and there were days I just wanted to rent a dumpster and chuck everything into it, but I stuck with it and gave away everything that could be re-used.  (And sold quite a few things; the cash helped motivate me 🙂 )  I found takers for some things I doubted anyone would want, and several of those takers emailed me pictures of what they'd repurposed the items into; I loved those.

One of my best friends had grandparents who were hoarders, and she has strong pack rat tendencies that worried her in terms of what she might progress into.  Between seeing what I went through with my grandpa's house and what her dad went through with her grandparents' house, she got scared straight and asked me to help her go through all her stuff and drastically pare down.  It was a project, but we did it, and she has stuck with it for years now, really thinking differently about what she chooses to buy. 

I am not a strict minimalist, but I'm committed to the reduce-reuse-recycle hierarchy: don't buy excessively to begin with, give away things I no longer want but can still be used or repurposed to someone who'll extend their "lifespan", and keep any recyclable materials among what's left out of the landfill.

Which brings me to my peeve.  The recycling system in the U.S. is disgustingly flawed, especially now that we can't just dump everything on China, and a disturbingly low percentage of recyclable material is indeed recycled, so recycling what actually will be is literally the least we can do when it comes to reducing waste in landfills.  Yet even in municipalities like mine, where recycling is every bit as easy as trashing - just put it in Barrel B instead of Barrel A and have it picked up on the weekly collection day - there are still people who don't bother to sort, and just toss everything into Barrel A. 

[TwirlyGirly]

Hello! <waves>

I'm new to this topic.

I was going to try to read through the posts before posting myself, so I wouldn't duplicate any pet peeves already mentioned. I actually got to around page 150 (reading a few pages per day); then I realized at the rate I was going I'd probably be dead before I got to the end. 

So my apologies if anything I post has been posted before!

Most of what really annoys me these days is grammar/spelling/word usage/basic writing stuff. Because I've spent a lot more time online over the past year (due to COVID-19) than I did in the Before Times, I think I'm just exposed to these errors more frequently now and that's why it's so irksome.

Today's pet peeve is people who don't capitalize the first letter of the first word in sentences. 

This baffles me, because every desktop, laptop, notebook, tablet, and smartphone I've ever had has automatically capitalized the first letter of the first word of every sentence. So people who do this must be deliberately backspacing and replacing the capital letters at the beginning of each sentence with a lowercase letter, right?

WHY??

The same people who do this will also use a lowercase letter "i" when writing the pronoun "I".

I don't get it. If someone takes the time to "put pen to paper", they must think they have something of value to add to the discussion. So why do this stuff? It just makes what they wrote difficult to read and thus more likely others will skip past it.

Edited April 7, 2021 by TwirlyGirly

[WinnieWinkle]

15 hours ago, Callietwo said:

She'd been Mom & Dad's power of attorney for close to a decade so she's well familiar with all the details and she keeps copious records to document everything she did to prevent any questions. 

Ah, this is exactly what we didn't have when my FIL died.  He was almost as paranoid as his daughter and shared very little with us with regard to his financial affairs.  When he died we had no idea what he had in the bank, how many accounts he had, what he owed (if anything) etc.  In defense of my SIL it's somewhat understandable that she was very cautious about settling the estate.  

This leads to a peeve of mine - elderly people who won't allow their family to help them when there is absolutely no reason for them to be secretive!  My husband and his sister were  their father's only heirs and he left everything to them yet prior to his death he wouldn't even give them a copy of his will!

7 hours ago, TwirlyGirly said:

The same people who do this will also use a lowercase letter "i" when writing the pronoun "I".

I know I do this occasionally when I am typing too quickly but you can usually tell when it's done through carelessness or when someone is being deliberate about it.  Which, I agree, is a peeve of mine as well!

[MargeGunderson]

57 minutes ago, WinnieWinkle said:

Ah, this is exactly what we didn't have when my FIL died.  He was almost as paranoid as his daughter and shared very little with us with regard to his financial affairs.  When he died we had no idea what he had in the bank, how many accounts he had, what he owed (if anything) etc.  In defense of my SIL it's somewhat understandable that she was very cautious about settling the estate.  

This leads to a peeve of mine - elderly people who won't allow their family to help them when there is absolutely no reason for them to be secretive!  My husband and his sister were  their father's only heirs and he left everything to them yet prior to his death he wouldn't even give them a copy of his will!

When my FIL died several years ago, it prompted my MIL to update her bank accounts, estate, etc. While we were there just after the funeral she added my husband and me to all of her bank accounts, and asked me to go through and organize all of her paper records. I appreciate her forethought, since we will have our hands full cleaning out her house when she passes. 

Edited April 7, 2021 by MargeGunderson

[Kawaiiko]

8 hours ago, TwirlyGirly said:

This baffles me, because every desktop, laptop, notebook, tablet, and smartphone I've ever had has automatically capitalized the first letter of the first word of every sentence. So people who do this must be deliberately backspacing and replacing the capital letters at the beginning of each sentence with a lowercase letter, right?

WHY??

The same people who do this will also use a lowercase letter "i" when writing the pronoun "I".

I don't think all computers do that. Whenever I'm texting someone on my Mac, it doesn't usually autocorrect the lowercase letter to a capital letter after the first sentence. That's why most of the texts sent from my computer are mostly lowercase. LOL. 

I'm also guilty of this in several of my posts on Primetimer. Another LOL.

But hey, different strokes!

Edited April 7, 2021 by Kawaiiko

[KittyMom4]

20 hours ago, Callietwo said:

To keep on topic, my pet peeve is how the siblings decided who gets what- Mom always said the group of us could fight over her junk after she was dead.  We're not exactly fighting over it but this would've been a LOT easier if it had been done differently. 

Personally, this has lit a fire under my own ass to get my shit together and deal with all this now, rather than leave to our kids to deal with.  Right now, it's six of us siblings dealing with Mom's things, but in my case it'll be my two and my husbands two which would be a whole 'nother level of stressful.

@Callietwo I'm so sorry for your loss. 

Last year my parents told me that they were going to get the house they've owned for 50 years ready to sell and move into a condo or patio home. I was thrilled! 

Unfortunately once they realized that they would have to sort through their years of accumulated junk they changed their minds. My mother's comment to me was "We're going to leave it to you and your sister and brother to sort through all that stuff." Yay me.  My parents are hoarders, not to the extent of that TV show but they have a ton of junk that no one would want that they can't seem to get rid of, most of it will be tossed when the time comes. 

I have also become much more conscious of what I keep in my house. I downsized 2 years ago and got rid of a lot of stuff then, but I still have stuff in storage that I will be dispersing to my kids or throwing out. I don't want them to have to deal with what I will have to do when my parents pass. 

 

 

[WinnieWinkle]

47 minutes ago, BexKeps said:

My parents are hoarders, not to the extent of that TV show but they have a ton of junk that no one would want that they can't seem to get rid of, most of it will be tossed when the time comes. 

When we had to move my mother into an assisted living facility my dad took advantage of this to start emptying out their apartment.  Which was a good thing, somewhat, as we tossed bags of random, well, crap really, and donated bags and bags of clothes and shoes and books etc.  But what it also ended up meaning for me was I now have boxes and boxes of their stuff stored in my basement.  What I will always keep of course is the family memoribilia - photo albums and the like mainly - my kids can be the ones to decide to toss this when the time comes!  What's sad though is my mother had so much "nice" stuff, like Royal Doulton china,  figurines, crystal, silver etc that none of the grandkids want.  I have enough of my own stuff so adding all this in would overwhelm my shelves so they're all in boxes awaiting their fate.

Is my peeve that we all have too much stuff, even somewhat valuable stuff that at the end of the day no one else will want or is my peeve that "kids today" don't value the same things my generation and my parents generation do/did?  Maybe both I guess 🙂 .

ETA: my new pet peeve - overuse of the word stuff!

Edited April 7, 2021 by WinnieWinkle

[Quof]

I have been sucked into the Minimal Mom on YouTube (not sure if I posted already here, or on Chit Chat).  I swear, it inspires me to jump up and sort a random drawer anytime I watch a video.  Highly recommend it, if you can ignore the biblical stuff and the weird speech patterns. 

[Hangin Out]

On 4/6/2021 at 4:05 PM, MargeGunderson said:

@Callietwo, I’m so sorry for the loss of your mom. It’s great that you got an offer from the neighbor for the house, but it sounds like a bit of mixed blessing to have to deal with everything so quickly. My mother-in-law has actually said that my husband and I will just have to deal with everything when she’s gone. She is a lovely person other than this. 90% of what she has is going in a dumpster and we’re selling the house as is as fast as we can (which hopefully won’t be for another 20 years at least).

My story is.  The day my Father died, the neighbor next door said he wanted the house.  The appraiser came and we asked for the price the appraiser gave us.  I was very overwhelmed as one sister was in Florida, and the other worked a stressful job.  My dear husband cleaned the whole house for me.  I went through everything, throwing most away as my sisters and kids wanted nothing.  The furniture was o.k., but old.  Sell the furniture would have been hard, and having it removed was expensive.  The neighbor was happy to take it for relatives coming from India, so we let them have it.  I left my old Victoria there with all 78 albums there.  (What a dope).  I’m so sorry now, but I was in a state of craziness at the time.  At the closing, they took away $200 for leaving the furniture there.  Furniture that they were going to use.  But, at the time,getting rid of it was a problem, so we took the loss.  Live and learn.  Five rooms of furniture.

 

 

 

[BookWoman56]

For all of you dreading having to clean out your parents’ houses or wanting to make it easier for your own family after you or your spouse dies, I highly recommend The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning, which is available through the standard online book sites. I sent a copy to my older sister, after a couple of rounds of cleaning out my parents’ house when my father died and my mother had to go live with my oldest sister because of health issues, and then a few years later when we had to sort through my mother’s stuff prior to moving her out to live with me. The book has quite useful suggestions about assessing what to retain and what to get rid of. 
 

For new pet peeves, my current ones are both parent/baby related. Gender reveal parties strike me as in incredibly bad taste: Why on earth do parents think anyone really gives a fuck whether their future baby has female or male genitalia? It seems like an attempt for the parents to be at the center of attention, all so they can announce that the baby will have a vagina or penis. 
 

The other peeve is the trend for entitled parents to throw hissy fits if a relative or friend chooses the same baby name as the entitled parents. Nobody owns a baby name or has exclusive rights to it. If you plan to name your baby “Sunshine Lemon Jello” and your sibling, cousin, best friend, or colleague also wants to name their kid the same thing, what difference does it make? I have seen stories of huge fights and going no contact over this nonsense. Do people really think that just because they like a name, nobody else in the world has the right to use that name? 

[Bastet]

1 hour ago, BookWoman56 said:

Gender reveal parties strike me as in incredibly bad taste: Why on earth do parents think anyone really gives a fuck whether their future baby has female or male genitalia? It seems like an attempt for the parents to be at the center of attention, all so they can announce that the baby will have a vagina or penis. 

The first time I heard about a gender reveal party, I thought it referred to a transgender person celebrating their decision to announce their identity among known supporters lest some family/friends react with ignorance or hatred.  That, I'd attend (well, as long as there was an open bar or at least a good signature cocktail).

Some dumb-ass spectacle in which something - which may or may not turn out to be a deadly explosive device - pink or blue is unleashed (perpetuating the binary myth, ultimately revealing genitalia, not gender), no thanks.  Just call or email the short list of people who actually give a shit about your sonogram results.

[Browncoat]

I hate the assigning of color to gender.

[Callietwo]

20 hours ago, WinnieWinkle said:

 What I will always keep of course is the family memoribilia - photo albums and the like mainly - my kids can be the ones to decide to toss this when the time comes! 

 

My parents have thoursands of photos mostly in albums and one of my sisters & her husband has scanned close to 5000 so far, but then the decision of who'll get which physical albums will need to be decided.  

Quote

What's sad though is my mother had so much "nice" stuff, like Royal Doulton china,  figurines, crystal, silver etc that none of the grandkids want.  I have enough of my own stuff so adding all this in would overwhelm my shelves so they're all in boxes awaiting their fate.

Mom collected hummel figurines, tea cups, china & silverware and chicken/rooster figurines.  My dad collected tools.  Thankfully most of it found homes within the family.  I've taken most of the rooster stuff, most of it was for the garden and it amuses me.  

But also, Mom saved every flipping greeting card she received for the last 20 years it seems.  Someone sorted them by sender and gave them back to us.  What am I supposed to do with those???  

Quote

Is my peeve that we all have too much stuff, even somewhat valuable stuff that at the end of the day no one else will want or is my peeve that "kids today" don't value the same things my generation and my parents generation do/did?  Maybe both I guess 🙂 .

My kids have already said that I better hang around a while as they have no storage spaces for the things they would like to keep when my time comes.  Lets hope so!

12 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

 At the closing, they took away $200 for leaving the furniture there.  Furniture that they were going to use.  

Yeah, We had a house sale where we left stuff but they made some noise about interest so we said that was in addition to the sale and charged $500.  I guess it's what is written into the sales contract.  I had a friend who was charged for leaving a few garden things in the yard (I think one was a wheel barrel.. like... who wouldn't want one of those for their garden?)

7 hours ago, BookWoman56 said:

For new pet peeves, my current ones are both parent/baby related. Gender reveal parties strike me as in incredibly bad taste: Why on earth do parents think anyone really gives a fuck whether their future baby has female or male genitalia? It seems like an attempt for the parents to be at the center of attention, all so they can announce that the baby will have a vagina or penis. 

Aside from the bad taste, as you said.. After this most recent plane crash where more people died during a revel, the question arises of when do people stop & think about how stupid this all is and needless.  Have a party, have a cake if you want but stop trying to one up someone for a bigger and better and more exciting revel.  They look stupid and selfish beyond measure.  

Quote

The other peeve is the trend for entitled parents to throw hissy fits if a relative or friend chooses the same baby name as the entitled parents. Nobody owns a baby name or has exclusive rights to it. If you plan to name your baby “Sunshine Lemon Jello” and your sibling, cousin, best friend, or colleague also wants to name their kid the same thing, what difference does it make? I have seen stories of huge fights and going no contact over this nonsense. Do people really think that just because they like a name, nobody else in the world has the right to use that name? 

My niece and my daughter have the same first name.  We lived (and have always lived) many states apart.  I did ask my sister if it would bother her in a letter (she did not have a phone back then) and the sister never replied.  I shrugged and named my daughter what I wanted.  No one cared. 

Edited April 8, 2021 by Callietwo

[Hangin Out]

55 minutes ago, Callietwo said:

My parents have thoursands of photos mostly in albums and one of my sisters & her husband has scanned close to 5000 so far, but then the decision of who'll get which physical albums will need to be decided.  

Mom collected hummel figurines, tea cups, china & silverware and chicken/rooster figurines.  My dad collected tools.  Thankfully most of it found homes within the family.  I've taken most of the rooster stuff, most of it was for the garden and it amuses me.  

But also, Mom saved every flipping greeting card she received for the last 20 years it seems.  Someone sorted them by sender and gave them back to us.  What am I supposed to do with those???  

My kids have already said that I better hang around a while as they have no storage spaces for the things they would like to keep when my time comes.  Lets hope so!

Yeah, We had a house sale where we left stuff but they made some noise about interest so we said that was in addition to the sale and charged $500.  I guess it's what is written into the sales contract.  I had a friend who was charged for leaving a few garden things in the yard (I think one was a wheel barrel.. like... who wouldn't want one of those for their garden?)

Aside from the bad taste, as you said.. After this most recent plane crash where more people died during a revel, the question arises of when do people stop & think about how stupid this all is and needless.  Have a party, have a cake if you want but stop trying to one up someone for a bigger and better and more exciting revel.  They look stupid and selfish beyond measure.  

My niece and my daughter have the same first name.  We lived (and have always lived) many states apart.  I did ask my sister if it would bother her in a letter (she did not have a phone back then) and the sister never replied.  I shrugged and named my daughter what I wanted.  No one cared. 

[WinnieWinkle]

3 hours ago, Callietwo said:

But also, Mom saved every flipping greeting card she received for the last 20 years it seems.  Someone sorted them by sender and gave them back to us.  What am I supposed to do with those???  

Same problem here! Don't tell my Mother but I threw them all out.  I felt bad about it at the time but honestly there was no value to them not even sentimental value (well of course they were valuable to my Mom) but not anyone else.

 

3 hours ago, Callietwo said:

My parents have thoursands of photos mostly in albums and one of my sisters & her husband has scanned close to 5000 so far, but then the decision of who'll get which physical albums will need to be decided. 

When my FIL died my husband and his sister got dozens of photo albums, many of them from his great grandparents collection.  They really are a treasurehouse of family memories but the problem is they were never marked in anyway so they have all these photo albums and for most of them they have no idea who the people in them even are.  My SIL is keeping them for now because it just felt wrong to toss them but I suspect down the road when my kids are cleaning out her house they won't be saving albums full of black and white photos of people who are total strangers to them!

Edited April 8, 2021 by WinnieWinkle

[peacheslatour]

16 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

My story is.  The day my Father died, the neighbor next door said he wanted the house.  The appraiser came and we asked for the price the appraiser gave us.  I was very overwhelmed as one sister was in Florida, and the other worked a stressful job.  My dear husband cleaned the whole house for me.  I went through everything, throwing most away as my sisters and kids wanted nothing.  The furniture was o.k., but old.  Sell the furniture would have been hard, and having it removed was expensive.  The neighbor was happy to take it for relatives coming from India, so we let them have it.  I left my old Victoria there with all 78 albums there.  (What a dope).  I’m so sorry now, but I was in a state of craziness at the time.  At the closing, they took away $200 for leaving the furniture there.  Furniture that they were going to use.  But, at the time,getting rid of it was a problem, so we took the loss.  Live and learn.  Five rooms of furniture.

 

 

 

I get that. I was the same way. I just wanted to get it over with. It was just too emotionally hard.

[SuprSuprElevated]

On 4/6/2021 at 10:41 PM, peacheslatour said:

I don't know how I'm going to deal with that. My DH has approx. 46 million Lionel train sets. Nobody wants them, yet I'd feel terrible about chucking them. I'm looking for day cares and schools I can donate them to.

Perhaps you could contact the Lionel team (try sm?) and they might be interested in any rare/unusual ones, or perhaps there's a Lionel or RR museum that may be interested in the entire collection.  I wouldn't be shy to dip your toe into the ebay pool...

[Hangin Out]

1 hour ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

Perhaps you could contact the Lionel team (try sm?) and they might be interested in any rare/unusual ones, or perhaps there's a Lionel or RR museum that may be interested in the entire collection.  I wouldn't be shy to dip your toe into the ebay pool...

Far fetched, but maybe some place like St. Judes Hospital, where they can set up a room for the trains?  The kids would absolutely love seeing them go around.  Volunteers could help set up and navigate them.  I wish.

[peacheslatour]

3 minutes ago, Silver Bells said:

Far fetched, but maybe some place like St. Judes Hospital, where they can set up a room for the trains?  The kids would absolutely love seeing them go around.  Volunteers could help set up and navigate them.  I wish.

That's more like what I was thinking. I am not going to put them on Ebay or go through them piece by piece because there are just too many of them. Each set has a locomotive, several cars and don't even get me started on all the track, little buildings, mountains and all the other stuff that goes with it. He  has a serious hoarding problem but the good news is they're well taken care of, all in their original packages and kept together as sets. But there is just so much and I don't think I'll be in any kind of shape to deal with it when the love of my life dies. I sincerely hope I go first.

[Hangin Out]

O.k.  Health Pet Peeve here.  And don’t laugh.  I am old, and haven’t had the period in years, BUT still get PMS.  People think I’m crazy, that it’s not possible, but I know my body and no one can tell me different.  Every month, a week before the tenth, I get tired, headache, crabby, and feel crappy.  I have to lie down a lot.  I don’t care what the doctors say either.  This has been going on for years.  Anyone else here?

[Hangin Out]

11 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

That's more like what I was thinking. I am not going to put them on Ebay or go through them piece by piece because there are just too many of them. Each set has a locomotive, several cars and don't even get me started on all the track, little buildings, mountains and all the other stuff that goes with it. He  has a serious hoarding problem but the good news is they're well taken care of, all in their original packages and kept together as sets. But there is just so much and I don't think I'll be in any kind of shape to deal with it when the love of my life dies. I sincerely hope I go first.

I feel the same way as you in your last sentence.  I’m married a very long time.  Since I’ve had a bad back and don’t want another back fusion, I can’t navigate well anymore.  My husband does practically everything, and without him, I’m a dead woman.  I don’t like to bother the kids either.  We help each other and I can’t imagine being alone.   About the trains.  It would be wonderful if sick or underprivileged kids could enjoy them.  Then you’ll know somebody will love and enjoy them.

Edited April 8, 2021 by Silver Bells

[peacheslatour]

Quote

It would be wonderful if sick or underprivileged kids could enjoy them.  Then you’ll know somebody will love and enjoy them.

That's what I'm going to do. I have a collection of dolls, pop up story books and other doll and fairy tale related things, I want to give these along with the trains somewhere they will be used and enjoyed by children.

[Hangin Out]

16 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

That's what I'm going to do. I have a collection of dolls, pop up story books and other doll and fairy tale related things, I want to give these along with the trains somewhere they will be used and enjoyed by children.

Me too.  I have two granddaughters that don’t want anything.  I have Barbie Dolls with clothes, my “Saucy Walker” doll and other things in boxes.  I used to love, love paper dolls and cut the clothes out with my friends in summer on the front sidewalk.  I looked on Amazon, and they still have them, but nicer clothes and the old ones too.  I might order and play with them, hahaha.  The new gowns are gorgeous.  I’m nuts for nostalgia.  I bought one daughter all the big Disney Princesses, as she worked for Disney.  Meanwhile, she had two boys and is finished.  The dolls are in her attic.  Oh well.  I told her to make her spare room for herself and put all the Disney stuff out and go in there once in awhile.  Like a hobby room.

Edited April 8, 2021 by Silver Bells

[Browncoat]

45 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

That's more like what I was thinking. I am not going to put them on Ebay or go through them piece by piece because there are just too many of them. Each set has a locomotive, several cars and don't even get me started on all the track, little buildings, mountains and all the other stuff that goes with it. He  has a serious hoarding problem but the good news is they're well taken care of, all in their original packages and kept together as sets. But there is just so much and I don't think I'll be in any kind of shape to deal with it when the love of my life dies. I sincerely hope I go first.

 Is there a model train club in your area?  There are at least two around here.  They might be interested, especially in all the landscaping-type things.

[peacheslatour]

20 minutes ago, Browncoat said:

 Is there a model train club in your area?  There are at least two around here.  They might be interested, especially in all the landscaping-type things.

Yes there are. But as I say, I want children to have them. I guess I could contact the train clubs about organizations who would be helpful in making sure they got to the kids. Thanks!

[Quof]

Sigh.  Dumb people make me sad.   One of my favourite stores is having a sale with blanket discount.  A shopper posted on their social media "Is it x% off each item, or x% off the entire order?" 

[Katy M]

1 hour ago, Quof said:

Sigh.  Dumb people make me sad.   One of my favourite stores is having a sale with blanket discount.  A shopper posted on their social media "Is it x% off each item, or x% off the entire order?" 

Actually if you buy a lot it's per item that could add up (or subtract) from total savings depending on if they round up or down on the pennies.

[Cobb Salad]

5 hours ago, Quof said:

Sigh.  Dumb people make me sad.   One of my favourite stores is having a sale with blanket discount.  A shopper posted on their social media "Is it x% off each item, or x% off the entire order?" 

Me too.  I was outside my local supermarket one time when a woman stopped me to ask if the deal for whatever it was she was buying (laundry detergent? I don’t remember anymore) was better at a % discount in the supermarket or the CVS across the street which was buy whatever amount stated to get one free.  It took a bit of convincing & helping her through the math involved that the supermarket deal was better - anyone with a basic education should be able to figure this out.  

[WinnieWinkle]

Today's pet peeve: cell phones!  Many people now, and I am certainly one of them, do not have landlines anymore.  Which most of the time is fine.  However today this is proving to be a major pain in the ass.  My parents and my aunt live in the same apartment building and are very supportive of each other.  Anyway this morning my father learned from a neighbour that my aunt was taken to the hospital by ambulance last night.  Her son and his wife live nearby but they do not have a landline and we don't know their cell numbers (these people are very private and don't mix much with the hoi polloi also known as The Rest of the Family).  Anyway my Dad is worried, as you can imagine but unless my cousin contacts us or my aunt recovers and comes home at this point we don't even know which hospital she's at let alone exactly what happened.

[Hangin Out]

On 4/10/2021 at 1:45 PM, WinnieWinkle said:

Today's pet peeve: cell phones!  Many people now, and I am certainly one of them, do not have landlines anymore.  Which most of the time is fine.  However today this is proving to be a major pain in the ass.  My parents and my aunt live in the same apartment building and are very supportive of each other.  Anyway this morning my father learned from a neighbour that my aunt was taken to the hospital by ambulance last night.  Her son and his wife live nearby but they do not have a landline and we don't know their cell numbers (these people are very private and don't mix much with the hoi polloi also known as The Rest of the Family).  Anyway my Dad is worried, as you can imagine but unless my cousin contacts us or my aunt recovers and comes home at this point we don't even know which hospital she's at let alone exactly what happened.

I have both no matter the cost.  I find it easier to talk on a landline.  My cell is when I go out.  Sometimes the power goes out .. the land line too.  I still have the cell phone with another company and can get calls.  Also, people usually don’t know your cell phone number.  

[Cobb Salad]

1 hour ago, Silver Bells said:

I have both no matter the cost.  I find it easier to talk on a landline.  My cell is when I go out.  Sometimes the power goes out .. the land line too.  I still have the cell phone with another company and can get calls.  Also, people usually don’t know your cell phone number.  

I have both too.  My landline is bundled with my internet and TV so overall it’s probably cheaper than turning off the landline.  I have the cell phone for emergencies and whenever I travel (which I’ve been unable to do for a while due to you know what).  My phones have different area codes so I get those spoofed spam calls “local” to each phone number.  They’re easier for me to spot on the cell phone because I haven’t given that number out as much in the past as I have with the home phone.  

[Bastet]

1 hour ago, Silver Bells said:

I find it easier to talk on a landline.

So much!  Other than while traveling, I only use my cell phone if I'm in the car and need to convey something time-sensitive, like I'm stuck in traffic and will be about X minutes late.  Otherwise, I use my home or office phone.

When others call me from their cell phone in similar or other short-conversation situations, no problem, but when friends who've gotten rid of their landlines call me from their cell for what I know is a general catch-up conversation, I groan before I pick up the phone.  Because I know that over an extended conversation the call is going to drop at least once, we're going to have to play the "can you hear me now?" game, I won't be able to hear it as well (which causes me to talk louder, which is annoying, so I have no always be conscious of keeping that in check), etc. 

And, during a pandemic, I can't even fall back on cutting the conversation short and arranging to catch up in person instead.

[Hangin Out]

On 4/10/2021 at 1:45 PM, WinnieWinkle said:

Today's pet peeve: cell phones!  Many people now, and I am certainly one of them, do not have landlines anymore.  Which most of the time is fine.  However today this is proving to be a major pain in the ass.  My parents and my aunt live in the same apartment building and are very supportive of each other.  Anyway this morning my father learned from a neighbour that my aunt was taken to the hospital by ambulance last night.  Her son and his wife live nearby but they do not have a landline and we don't know their cell numbers (these people are very private and don't mix much with the hoi polloi also known as The Rest of the Family).  Anyway my Dad is worried, as you can imagine but unless my cousin contacts us or my aunt recovers and comes home at this point we don't even know which hospital she's at let alone exactly what happened.

Most of your people have your landline number.  Most of them do not have your cell phone number.  It’s not much more money if you put it together with your t.v. and computer in the same company.  There are times when the power will go out and you won’t have your landline, but will have your cellphone.  It happens quite often, where I live anyhow.