Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[AgentRXS]

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If this new Mexican place is staffed by Mexicans or other Spanish speakers  I would find this understandable since Elizabeth really isn't a very common name in Spanish.  Of course it's a Bible name and everything but any Spanish girl named after the Virgin Mary's grandmother would have the Spanish form of  Elizabeth, which is Isabel.  

The cashier who rung me up and the manager appeared to be Caucasian, but who knows?

Went to an unfamiliar Starbucks today and was christened a new name: Beath.  It actually inspired me.........I think I am going to change my name to Bea (after the baddest bitch ever, Bea Arthur), and just go by B from now on.

[backformore]

11 minutes ago, Sandman87 said:

Challenge accepted: At one of my former jobs my boss's name was Antoinette. I once got a call from someone who asked to speak with "Ann tee oh wye oh net."

I had a co-worker named Penelope.  Our boss once pronounced it Pee-neh-Loap. 

[TattleTeeny]

8 hours ago, backformore said:

I had a co-worker named Penelope.  Our boss once pronounced it Pee-neh-Loap. 

When I was really little, before school-goin' age, I was reading a book about mythology--to me, Persephone was Purse-a-phone!

[Popples]

3 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

When I was really little, before school-goin' age, I was reading a book about mythology--to me, Persephone was Purse-a-phone!

It took an episode of Arthur for me to hear the correct pronunciation. She was the Harry Potter knock-off's (Henry Skreever) version of Hermione. And when I first read Half-Blood Prince, I thought Voldemort's mother Merope was pronounced Meh-rope instead of Mare-ah-pea which is quite pretty. Greek mythology has never been my strong point.

[auntlada]

I just now learned to pronounce Merope. Thanks.

I still occasionally get confused about epitome and pronounce it wrong in my head. Calvin and Hobbes taught me that epitome was the same word as what I pronounced epitomee. I thought it was ep-uh-toam. The perils of reading a lot at an early age and learning words from books.

[Mountainair]

13 hours ago, Bastet said:

It sounds like the issue isn't with spelling, but with pronunciation -- people look at Emmy, and, even though the award should make it familiar even though it's an uncommon name, instead say Emma or Emily. 

Ding! Ding! Ding! I'm forever referred to as Emma or Emily. My name can't get any easier to pronounce. So, my first name is officially, "Emmy, like the award" when introducing myself or placing any order, etc. 

[Bastet]

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Ding! Ding! Ding!

Well, Verba and Verbily were pretty good clues.

I've read one theory on why it's so common for people to screw up names that should be simple, that people don't actually process all the letters they're looking at - they glance at the name as a whole, and if it looks like something that's more familiar to them than the name, that's how they perceive it.  So, they see the E and two Ms and perceive it as Emma.  Or they see Em-y and perceive Emily.  It would make sense, because there's no way a shit ton of people are truly reading the letters E-m-m-y and thinking they're pronounced Emma or Emily.

[backformore]

55 minutes ago, auntlada said:

I just now learned to pronounce Merope. Thanks.

I still occasionally get confused about epitome and pronounce it wrong in my head. Calvin and Hobbes taught me that epitome was the same word as what I pronounced epitomee. I thought it was ep-uh-toam. The perils of reading a lot at an early age and learning words from books.

Yep -  from reading, I picked up the word "Horizon"  and thought it was pronounced the same way as it was in "horizontal"

[ratgirlagogo]

15 hours ago, backformore said:

Our boss once pronounced it Pee-neh-Loap. 

My dad apparently did this his freshman year in college presenting a talk in front of his Western Civ class.  Still cringed about it many decades later.

3 hours ago, auntlada said:

The perils of reading a lot at an early age and learning words from books.

Yep, and plus in my dad's case his earlier education was literally in a one-room schoolhouse in a rural area where most people spoke Finnish as their first or only language.  They were seemingly very book-oriented and everything - but not in English.

Edited December 24, 2016 by ratgirlagogo

[Maharincess]

3 hours ago, auntlada said:

I just now learned to pronounce Merope. Thanks.

I still occasionally get confused about epitome and pronounce it wrong in my head. Calvin and Hobbes taught me that epitome was the same word as what I pronounced epitomee. I thought it was ep-uh-toam. The perils of reading a lot at an early age and learning words from books.

I know somebody who insists on pronouncing epitome that way.  He's been told a thousand times that he says it wrong but he insists he's right.  

Another word like that is hyperbole. I know a few people who pronounce it "hyper-bowl". 

[ratgirlagogo]

17 hours ago, riley702 said:

Tony? Obie? Clio? :)

I was kind of hoping for Espy.:)

[Popples]

4 hours ago, auntlada said:

I just now learned to pronounce Merope. Thanks.

I still occasionally get confused about epitome and pronounce it wrong in my head. Calvin and Hobbes taught me that epitome was the same word as what I pronounced epitomee. I thought it was ep-uh-toam. The perils of reading a lot at an early age and learning words from books.

When I started reading Calvin and Hobbes, I thought Hobbes was pronounced Hob-bez. My mother corrected me on that one a few years later. And from one of the poems in the beginning of a treasury book, Bill Watterson rhymes "cretin" with "eatin'", but years of watching British television, they say it with a soft "e" sound.

[riley702]

7 hours ago, auntlada said:

The perils of reading a lot at an early age and learning words from books.

I know, right? I knew the word innuendo, but hadn't a clue how to pronounce it, since no one in my circle used that word. I was pronouncing it (in my head) as "in wayn doh" until I finally heard it on a TV show and figured out that was the word I was mispronouncing.

[Maharincess]

10 minutes ago, riley702 said:

I know, right? I knew the word innuendo, but hadn't a clue how to pronounce it, since no one in my circle used that word. I was pronouncing it (in my head) as "in wayn doh" until I finally heard it on a TV show and figured out that was the word I was mispronouncing.

Innuendo, that's where suppositories go right?  

[riley702]

LOL, right!

[janestclair]

I once had an student ask me what o-pack meant.  I was  befuddled until she pointed to the word in question. It was opaque.  She'd never seen it written before.  The only word I can remember doing that with is hyperbole. I also thought it was hyper bowl.   

14 hours ago, Maharincess said:

Innuendo, that's where suppositories go right?  

I snorted coffee.  Hah!

[Blergh]

As long as we're doing malapropisms:

 

Undoubtedly this has been a horrible tragedy for all family and friends of those lost to a still-uncertain fate re Malaysian Airlines 370 and I pray that they soon find out what actually happened.

 However; one of my colleagues did unintentionally bring a little levity re not understanding a key news point some weeks after the disappearance. This colleague kept hearing about the radio pings being searched and somehow became convinced that they were talking about penguins and concluded that somehow these amphibious  birds  living thousands of miles away were responsible for the plane's disappearance.

[BookWoman56]

On 12/22/2016 at 4:22 PM, Quof said:

The things you find adorable in the beginning are the things that will eventually make you smother him in his sleep. 

My general rule now is to take whatever behavior you find adorable, imagine it's been dialed up to 10, and then decide if you still think it's "adorable" or grounds for murder.  Example: When we were first dating, husband #1 would always ask what I'd been doing since we last saw each other. And my young and stupid self thought, oh, that's so nice that he's actually interested in my activities.  FF a few years, and I am saying through clenched teeth, "No, you don't have to know where I am, what I am doing, and with whom I am interacting every single minute that I am not in your presence. I don't demand a blow-by-blow account from you of what you do all day, and I'd appreciate it if you extended me the same courtesy. Also, please note that my taking 10 minutes longer to do the grocery shopping than you thought it should does not automatically equate to me having an affair with someone." 

All of this leads to one of my major rules for relationships: When you are frequently lying next to someone after he/she has gone to sleep, and you are wondering how you could kill that person without getting caught, it's time to start divorce proceedings.

[Moose135]

28 minutes ago, BookWoman56 said:

When you are frequently lying next to someone after he/she has gone to sleep, and you are wondering how you could kill that person without getting caught, it's time to start divorce proceedings.

Words of wisdom!

[auntlada]

2 hours ago, Blergh said:

As long as we're doing malapropisms:

 

Undoubtedly this has been a horrible tragedy for all family and friends of those lost to a still-uncertain fate re Malaysian Airlines 370 and I pray that they soon find out what actually happened.

 However; one of my colleagues did unintentionally bring a little levity re not understanding a key news point some weeks after the disappearance. This colleague kept hearing about the radio pings being searched and somehow became convinced that they were talking about penguins and concluded that somehow these amphibious  birds  living thousands of miles away were responsible for the plane's disappearance.

 A local guy once got hit by lightning and died while on vacation in Florida. We were writing a news story about it, and the reporter asked his coworkers for comment. His boss said, "We were all shocked." The reporter put it in the story, but we took it out after I burst out laughing while editing it.

[Blergh]

7 hours ago, Moose135 said:

Words of wisdom!

Somewhat along those lines, if one actually looks forward to NOT seeing a onetime friend and dreads seeing them, the friendship's definitely run its course!

[TattleTeeny]

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Yep -  from reading, I picked up the word "Horizon"  and thought it was pronounced the same way as it was in "horizontal"

I had a friend in high school who thought Revlon's "Horizon Pink" lipstick was pronounced "whore is on." That and "InfrAIRed" for "Infrared." 
 

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The things you find adorable in the beginning are the things that will eventually make you smother him in his sleep. 

 

Not that I ever found it adorable at the beginning, but definitely less aggravating than now, seven years later, but my BF's horrid snoring. For a while, it was causing major issues with us (less due to the snoring itself than to his weird [and kind of selfish] refusal to try anything at all that might help!). This is corny (and maybe morbid) of me but now I try to think about the fact that there will likely come a day in the (hopefully very far-off!) future that I won't hear it anymore, and that sort of puts it into perspective. I learned this tactic from my grandma after my grandpa passed away (and also from an episode of I Love Lucy, haha!). 

That said, I wish my BF would understand that whatever is causing his snoring could very well be something that could affect his health as he ages! 

Another peeve, which I feel like I am going to have a tough time articulating: I watch and read a lot of crime stuff, and I hate when someone uses the word "suspect" when it is not needed (it happens in the news a lot)! Example, "The suspect was caught on video grabbing a woman's purse and fleeing into the night" or "Eyewitnesses report that the suspect has red hair and freckles." No, that is not a "suspect," it is the actual assailant/perp/robber/killer. We don't have to know a person's name to know that that person did the thing we just saw him do, and it is not legally questionable to refer to the person on the video as the guilty party because we saw that person, whose name we don't know, do that thing; that person is guilty of the crime; the police now just have to find the name of that person.

Same goes for crime-scene stuff without video or eyewitnesses: if we have a person dead on the floor due to a bullet through the face, we can correctly say that the killer, not the suspect, shot the victim. No matter who it is or whether we have a name, the person who did the killing is not merely a suspect. I think people think that using "suspect" is directly in keeping with "innocent until proven guilty." It is not un-PC to call the killer "the killer" even if we don't yet know the killer's name!

Edited December 26, 2016 by TattleTeeny

[DeLurker]

@BookWoman56 - My ex clearly lied when he said he had never been married before since he must have been your Hubby #1!

[Moose135]

3 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

Revlon's "Horizon Pink" lipstick was pronounced "whore is on."

Well, that could go either way... ;-)

[TattleTeeny]

Haha, I almost spelled out the phonetic version differently because of that!

Now I'm wondering if we'd still like those colors today; I'm guessing no on the pink--it was a bit frosty.

[Blergh]

4 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

I had a friend in high school who thought Revlon's "Horizon Pink" lipstick was pronounced "whore is on." That and "InfrAIRed" for "Infrared." 
 

Not that I ever found it adorable at the beginning, but definitely less aggravating than now, seven years later, but my BF's horrid snoring. For a while, it was causing major issues with us (less due to the snoring itself than to his weird [and kind of selfish] refusal to try anything at all that might help!). This is corny (and maybe morbid) of me but now I try to think about the fact that there will likely come a day in the (hopefully very far-off!) future that I won't hear it anymore, and that sort of puts it into perspective. I learned this tactic from my grandma after my grandpa passed away (and also from an episode of I Love Lucy, haha!). 

That said, I wish my BF would understand that whatever is causing his snoring could very well be something that could affect his health as he ages! 

Another peeve, which I feel like I am going to have a tough time articulating: I watch and read a lot of crime stuff, and I hate when someone uses the word "suspect" when it is not needed (it happens in the news a lot)! Example, "The suspect was caught on video grabbing a woman's purse and fleeing into the night" or "Eyewitnesses report that the suspect has red hair and freckles." No, that is not a "suspect," it is the actual assailant/perp/robber/killer. We don't have to know a person's name to know that that person did the thing we just saw him do, and it is not legally questionable to refer to the person on the video as the guilty party because we saw that person, whose name we don't know, do that thing; that person is guilty of the crime; the police now just have to find the name of that person.

Same goes for crime-scene stuff without video or eyewitnesses: if we have a person dead on the floor due to a bullet through the face, we can correctly say that the killer, not the suspect, shot the victim. No matter who it is or whether we have a name, the person who did the killing is not merely a suspect. I think people think that using "suspect" is directly in keeping with "innocent until proven guilty." It is not un-PC to call the killer "the killer" even if we don't yet know the killer's name!

Witnesses and even videos have proven faulty through no fault of their own re identifying actual perpetrators on occasion. Hence, I think suspect is perfectly correct until there's been an actual conviction.

[Moose135]

20 minutes ago, Blergh said:

Witnesses and even videos have proven faulty through no fault of their own re identifying actual perpetrators on occasion. Hence, I think suspect is perfectly correct until there's been an actual conviction.

As they say on Cops (to make this TV-related):  "All suspects are considered innocent until proven guilty in a court of law."

[TattleTeeny]

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Witnesses and even videos have proven faulty through no fault of their own re identifying actual perpetrators on occasion. Hence, I think suspect is perfectly correct until there's been an actual conviction.

That's not what I am saying--it's not about identifying or proper police work or even libel, it's about wording, and "suspect" is the wrong word. I'm saying that a person in a video who is clearly shown doing a crime--let's say a someone in a clown mask conking a bus driver over the head with a Buffy lunchbox--is not merely a suspect regardless of the fact that no one knows his name; that person is the person who did it. We do not suspect this as-yet-unnamed person in a clown mask of conking someone over the head with a Buffy lunchbox--he did do it and we just don't know his name. Videos of crimes don't show suspects, they show unknown perpetrators. Same for my second example: a victim was stabbed by someone as evidenced by the fact that the person is lying there stabbed. The unknown person who actually did the stabbing did do it and is not a "suspect." 

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As they say on Cops (to make this TV-related):  "All suspects are considered innocent until proven guilty in a court of law."

Right! But the person who did it is the person who did it whether or not the person is ever identified, suspected, or brought to trial. (Also, I can totally hear that Cops announcer voice in my head now.)

Maybe Bill Walsh can explain it better:
http://theslot.blogspot.com/2013/04/a-suspect-word.html

Edited December 26, 2016 by TattleTeeny

[backformore]

@TattleTeeny I totally got what you're saying.  It's like, at a crime scene, with bloody footprints leading to the backdoor, don't report that the SUSPECT escaped through the backdoor, it was the KILLER who did.  We just don't know who that killer is.  Once someone is arrested, then he/she is the suspect, who is suspected of killing and escaping through the back door.

[DeLurker]

5 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

I had a friend in high school who thought Revlon's "Horizon Pink" lipstick was pronounced "whore is on." 

When I was in high school a friend had been carrying around a book and reading it every chance she got. In class I whispered "what are you reading?"  She answered and I was so shocked I blurted in a not whisper "The Amityville Whore?".  

[TattleTeeny]

1 hour ago, backformore said:

@TattleTeeny I totally got what you're saying.  It's like, at a crime scene, with bloody footprints leading to the backdoor, don't report that the SUSPECT escaped through the backdoor, it was the KILLER who did.  We just don't know who that killer is.  Once someone is arrested, then he/she is the suspect, who is suspected of killing and escaping through the back door.

Yes--thank you! Some unknown someone IS the murderer, while a "suspect" might be the murderer. My peeve is mainly that reporters, in print and on TV, use "suspect" for everything even though it's not at all necessary to do so from a libel or PC standpoint.

 

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When I was in high school a friend had been carrying around a book and reading it every chance she got. In class I whispered "what are you reading?"  She answered and I was so shocked I blurted in a not whisper "The Amityville Whore?".  

There's probably a porno named that!

Edited December 26, 2016 by TattleTeeny

[BookWoman56]

4 hours ago, DeLurker said:

@BookWoman56 - My ex clearly lied when he said he had never been married before since he must have been your Hubby #1!

@DeLurker, there have apparently been quite a few clones of him out there, because I've met several people with similar experiences.

Husband #1 was overall a good person, but he came from a family that did not have any concept of privacy or see any benefit to solitude. Outside of when individuals were at work or school, virtually everything had to be done as a family unit, such as required watching TV after dinner in a dark room with no conversation going on. I caught hell on a visit to my in-laws because I excused myself from the mandatory watching of TV to go upstairs and read. Again, there was zero conversation going on; this was literally just everyone sitting in the den, lights off, watching TV. But somehow I was at fault for wanting to do something that I would find enjoyable and much more productive than sitting in the dark with a group of people who weren't even having a conversation. His parents boasted that since the birth of Husband #1, they had never been away from their kids for more than the space of a workday, no weekend trips or even one-day excursions by themselves as a couple, much less as individuals. Instead there was all this forced togetherness, with the result that arguments were quite common because everybody was getting on everybody else's nerves. So my pet peeve after having had to interact with his family, particularly his parents, is parents who fail to instill in their kids a sense that (a) while there are some things that are suitable to be family activities, there is also a great deal of value to individual activities, and (b) it's not normal to expect or demand an accounting from everyone in the family of every single minute they are away from the family, as if all non-family activities are automatically suspect. And FFS, don't raise your kids to think that your particular family quirks are the only way for families to interact. Different does not necessarily mean wrong.

[bilgistic]

That reminded me of a boy I dated my freshman year in college. Well, more specifically, his mother. I gamely went to church with his family on the occasional Sunday. His hometown was an hour's drive from our school. Now, everyone knows that after church and lunch, it's time for a nap. My boyfriend's mother was scandalized that I napped in his childhood bedroom--alone, mind you, and with the door open! What was I going to do? Leave my whore scent on everything? I guess because my parents were (gasp!) divorced, I was damaged goods.

I also guess I was not only supposed to go along with church (dress and pantyhose!) and the Golden Corral meat fest, but also sit and watch football with them.

We broke up around Thanksgiving of sophomore year. I think we lasted 10 months. I do see him as "the one that got away" (well, one of them), but I would've had to have words with his mother at some point. Guys' mothers and I rarely get along; they've always acted like I'm trying to "steal away" their precious baby boy. Ick and no thanks.

Edited December 26, 2016 by bilgistic

[Moose135]

1 hour ago, bilgistic said:

What was I going to do? Leave my whore scent on everything?

Were you wearing your Revlon "Horizon Pink" lipstick? ;-)

[riley702]

7 hours ago, Moose135 said:

Well, that could go either way... ;-)

I'm slow - huh?

[TattleTeeny]

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Referring to your video scene: Do you mean you want them to say something like: This is the person we are looking for? If you see this person run like hell? If I am reading it right you want them to acknowledge that the person in the video is the person who did whatever, no suspicion, it is clear that THIS PERSON is who we are looking for?  I think I am getting it right but then I got the award named poster all screwed up because of Tony. haha  Oh and how do you feel about "person of interest"? When that first came out it was pretty, innocent? sounding. But now it is code for This person did it and we want to find out where they are. Nobody is fooled anymore that they just want to nicely chat with the person of interest. 

I think you've got it right--and it's most definitely not you; this is so hard to articulate! They should say something like... "The assailant is seen here giving the old one-two to a hapless cart wrangler at the local Foodtown." Because the guy we see in this hypothetical video, but whose name we don't know, is shown (not suspected) to be that assailant and did in fact do it. "Suspect" is usually for when there is a named person, but that person has not been apprehended and, more important, convicted of a crime, e.g., an actual killer, not a suspect, murdered JonBenét. Patsy and John Ramsey, whose names we know, were suspects. The unknown person who did the killing is without a doubt a killer, no matter who it turns out to be (not that we'll ever get to know, god damn it!). Named persons of whom we are suspicious are suspects.

I have no problem with "person of interest" or "suspect"--they're basically synonyms. Maybe they like the former because it's all fancy-pants and shit, haha!

 

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Peeve: I don't even want to go into it because it is mother related. Do any of y'all have a pecker around you? Someone who just pecks pecks pecks until you just irrationally react to something that doesn't even rate reacting to because peck peck peck just will not stop? I know this post makes no sense but maybe I will share what the final peck was that caused me to just want to pull the car over and say OUT Right damn now OUT!

YUP. And any bystanders will then think that you (we!) went bats over practically nothing and you're (we're!) the loons. The bystanders don't know that there were approximately 6,077 "practically nothing"s prior to the one they witnessed.

Edited December 27, 2016 by TattleTeeny

[Maharincess]

51 minutes ago, stewedsquash said:

 

Peeve: I don't even want to go into it because it is mother related. Do any of y'all have a pecker around you? Someone who just pecks pecks pecks until you just irrationally react to something that doesn't even rate reacting to because peck peck peck just will not stop? I know this post makes no sense but maybe I will share what the final peck was that caused me to just want to pull the car over and say OUT Right damn now OUT!

YES!!!   And after that person picks (we call them pickers but I think I like peckers better) and picks and PICKS at you and you finnaly blow, they act so innocent like they have no idea why you blew up on them. 

I have a friend like that. We're both 51 and have been friends since the summer before kindergarten. We lived next door to each other, parents were best friends and we have so much history together. If it wasn't for that history, I would have dumped this "friend" a long, long time ago.  Everyone tells me I need to kick her out of my life because she really is a terrible person but that history keeps me going back.  She's a miserable person, she has a 24 year old son that she's always been a terrible mom to and now he can't stand her,  she's a terrible wife and just a bad person all around.  She's so insanely jealous of anybody who is happy in their lives and in their familial or romantic relationships. She can't ever be happy when something good happens for somebody else, she has to be negative and cut down the good thing that happened.   Nobody, not even her own son, husband and mother want anything to do with her but she blames everyone else.  She can't see that she's the one in the relationships that may be the problem, she's totally innocent and everyone else is the problem.  

Just today I texted her and asked how her Xmas was.  We talked for a bit and she asked what I got for Xmas then proceeded to cut down and slam every present I received.  My son got me a Kindle oasis, she had to tell me how that is a horrible version of the Kindle and he should have bought me xyz instead.  She slammed the beautiful wall shelves my son made for me, my daughter and granddaughter.  I asked what she got and she said "nobody bought me a damn thing".  Gee...I wonder why. 

Every week I say I'm done with her and never want to talk to her again but the next week I'm back in.  What the hell is wrong with me that I stay in a friendship with somebody I don't like and can't stand to be around?!  

Edited December 27, 2016 by Maharincess
Because to and too are not the same.

[TattleTeeny]

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Every week I say I'm done with her and never want to talk to her again but the next week I'm back in.  What the hell is wrong with me that I stay in a friendship with somebody I don't like and can't stand to be around?!  

What's "wrong" with you is that you're nice and, unlike the picker, actually care whether you hurt someone's feelings or bum them out.

Edited December 27, 2016 by TattleTeeny

[Maharincess]

8 minutes ago, TattleTeeny said:

What's "wrong" with you is that you're nice and, unlike the picker, actually care whether you hurt someone's feelings or bum them out.

Thanks TT.  I don't think it's being nice as much as it is being stupid. There is not one good thing I can say about her.  I seriously can't think of one good quality she has. And believe me, I've tried to find a good quality because I'm trying to find a reason for why I stay in this relationship.  

This is a horrible thing to say and it will probably make you all think I'm a bad person but it's the truth. If I heard tomorrow that she had died, I wouldn't care.  She's been a constant in my life for 45 years but I seriously wouldn't shed a tear if she died tomorrow.  

If you spent any time at all with her, you'd all understand. You wouldn't understand at first because she's a pro at playing nice and making people think she's a great person but her true colors will come out in a few weeks. 

Edited December 27, 2016 by Maharincess
Damn. I'd and if aren't the same either. I'm dumb today.

[TattleTeeny]

Eh...can you ghost her and kind of just fade out quietly? If so, do it!

[theredhead77]

51 minutes ago, Maharincess said:

We're both 51 and have been friends since the summer before kindergarten. We lived next door to each other, parents were best friends and we have so much history together. If it wasn't for that history, I would have dumped this "friend" a long, long time ago.

SNIP

 

What the hell is wrong with me that I stay in a friendship with somebody I don't like and can't stand to be around?!  

 

40 minutes ago, Maharincess said:

She's been a constant in my life for 45 years but I seriously wouldn't shed a tear if she died tomorrow.  

History! It's so hard to walk away from someone who you have such history with. Do you have siblings or someone else that you have an extensive history with?
 

41 minutes ago, TattleTeeny said:

Eh...can you ghost her and kind of just fade out quietly? If so, do it!

I second this, but I also know it's easier said than done. Be kind to yourself.

[bilgistic]

4 hours ago, Moose135 said:

Were you wearing your Revlon "Horizon Pink" lipstick? ;-)

True story: I borrowed my grandmother's "Silver City Pink" Revlon lipstick in maybe eighth or ninth grade (I don't remember the exact year, but I recall the school picture that documents it) and started buying and wearing that color. It was the frostiest of frosted pinks, and the late 1980s. Why I didn't think "Maybe a 13-year-old shouldn't wear the same lipstick shade as her 61-year-old grandmother", I don't know.

Huh. A Google search tells me it's still made. LOOK HOW FROSTY. BRRRRRRRR

[TattleTeeny]

Maybe it's good for some people! Now I wonder! I favor dark colors and buy a TON...and never wear them because, oy, the maintenance. How dumb of me!

[BookWoman56]

1 hour ago, Maharincess said:

Thanks TT.  I don't think it's being nice as much as it is being stupid. There is not one good thing I can say about her.  I seriously can't think of one good quality she has. And believe me, I've tried to find a good quality because I'm trying to find a reason for why I stay in this relationship.  

This is a horrible thing to say and it will probably make you all think I'm a bad person but it's the truth. If I heard tomorrow that she had died, I wouldn't care.  She's been a constant in my life for 45 years but I seriously wouldn't shed a tear if she died tomorrow.  

If you spent any time at all with her, you'd all understand. You wouldn't understand at first because she's a pro at playing nice and making people think she's a great person but her true colors will come out in a few weeks. 

@Maharincess, if it makes you feel any better, I have a sibling I feel the same way about. If she died tomorrow, not only would I not care, I'd be relieved. Yes, we share history but it's mostly bad history. When she was young, she would constantly hit, kick, and trip me, in addition to lying to our parents about me and my brother supposedly doing mean things to her. Any hope I had she would grow out of it got shot down when in her adult years, she simply switched from physical attacks to emotional attacks. She truly is not happy unless she is stirring up shit and interfering in things that are none of her business. She and her current husband exploited my parents for years. Yet she keeps claiming moral superiority to the rest of the family because she attends church. She maintains minimal contact with my brother but my other sisters and I have all resolved not to initiate contact with her unless it is a dire emergency, such as a death in the family. We've all been burned too many times by her actions, and so have decided that once my mother is dead, we have zero reason to speak to her again.

[bilgistic]

34 minutes ago, TattleTeeny said:

Maybe it's good for some people! Now I wonder! I favor dark colors and buy a TON...and never wear them because, oy, the maintenance. How dumb of me!

I hate lipstick now. I can't remember when I last owned any. I'm too lazy. Lip balm is a necessity, of course, but big nope to lipstick.

Edited December 27, 2016 by bilgistic

[TattleTeeny]

One time I decided I would use one of those super-staying lipsticks so I could drink beer from a bottle and still look awesome with my gothy, dark mouth. Well, that shit felt like dried paint that was so uncomfortable in the bar and I resorted to dragging my lips across the knee of my jeans (I was on a couch at the time, so I could sit with my legs bent up). It just made a '90s Courtney Love MESS and I was no less uncomfortable! And the smear never came out of the pants! Also, not long after, that bar was closed because of wild, weird displays of public sex. Oy.

Edited December 27, 2016 by TattleTeeny

[Maharincess]

48 minutes ago, BookWoman56 said:

@Maharincess, if it makes you feel any better, I have a sibling I feel the same way about. If she died tomorrow, not only would I not care, I'd be relieved. Yes, we share history but it's mostly bad history. When she was young, she would constantly hit, kick, and trip me, in addition to lying to our parents about me and my brother supposedly doing mean things to her. Any hope I had she would grow out of it got shot down when in her adult years, she simply switched from physical attacks to emotional attacks. She truly is not happy unless she is stirring up shit and interfering in things that are none of her business. She and her current husband exploited my parents for years. Yet she keeps claiming moral superiority to the rest of the family because she attends church. She maintains minimal contact with my brother but my other sisters and I have all resolved not to initiate contact with her unless it is a dire emergency, such as a death in the family. We've all been burned too many times by her actions, and so have decided that once my mother is dead, we have zero reason to speak to her again.

My oldest brother is not a good person either. We don't have much of a relationship.  He is just not a good person at all. The latest shit he did pissed me off again.  He is famous for making plans with people and then never calling or showing up.  He did it to me my entire life and still does it to EVERYBODY.  He's flaked on my daughter 3 times in the past 6 months when he kept promising to go to her house and fix her car for her. He's flaked on me 4 times this year by making plans with me to come over and see me but of course he never showed up. The last time we made plans my physical therapy appointment was changed so I called him and told him I couldn't get together.  I told him three days beforehand.              So, he texted my daughter and bitched to her about me saying that every time we have plans I flake on him. My daughter just laughed at him because she knew the truth.   He thinks he can treat people any way he wants but if you do the same to him, all hell breaks loose. He's owed me money that's taken years to pay back but I once borrowed 20 from him when I was out of cash and he stayed on my ass about paying him back.  We didn't know about this shit back then but looking back on the way he treats people and thinks he's the greatest thing walking, he's a classic narcissist. 

@TattleTeeny, I've tried to "ghost" this friend many times. Sometimes I'm actually the one who makes first contact. That's what I'm saying, what the hell is wrong with me that I stay in this friendship?  We have gone through periods where I've "broken up" with her and she gets nasty, really nasty.  A few of the things she's done is way back when I was renting a house she threatened to call my landlord and make up all kinds of shit about me, she's threatened to make up shit and try to break up my relationship, she's threatened to tell my kids things I've done in my past. My kids know everything, I haven't held anything back from them. She actually called my Dr and told her that I'm a drug addict and I take a months worth of pills in a week and I sell the other pills I get.  She lives near a good friend of mine and she pretty much stalks her to see if I'm at her house then she whines to me that I never go to her house. 

I could literally go on for an hour about things she's done to in the past 40 years.   We were sisters when we were growing up. We walked to and from school together every single day from kindergarten through middle school, if I wasn't at her house she was at my house. We have our own secret language and words that mean nothing to anybody but us.  I didn't have the best childhood and my friendship with her is the only thing that made it bearable.  Every one of my childhood memories has her in it.   If she hadn't turned into a raging psycho we would have a dream friendship. 

[TattleTeeny]

TELL ME HER NAME! Haha, just kidding.

[ratgirlagogo]

2 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

"person of interest" or "suspect"--they're basically synonyms.

Woof, no they're not.  A "person of interest" might just be a witness. Maybe a relative or friend of someone named as a possible suspect.

Edited December 27, 2016 by ratgirlagogo

[Maharincess]

I hate makeup now and only wear it when I feel I have to.  Way back when I was a total little miss makeup.  I spent a lot of money on it and would spend so much time putting it on.  I wouldn't even walk out my door to walk to the mailbox without makeup.   With all of the makeup I bought, I never once in my life bought lipstick. I hate lipstick with a passion. I hate the gooey kind of feeling on my lips, my mom ALWAYS had it on her teeth and I hate the gross lipstick prints all over cups and stuff.   I used to get grossed out after my mom had her friends over for a drunken night and I had to clean up after them and all of the cigarette butts and glasses with lip prints grossed me out.