Small Talk: About Big People

[Ocean Chick]

13 minutes ago, Cinnamini11 said:

Nah. There is never a situation where it is justifiable to use a homophobic slur. No matter what the context is it all goes back to the same meaning- using being gay (or gayness in general) as an insult. It’s always going to imply homophobia.

(Personally if we’re talking slurs I don’t take c*nt as seriously as f****t. I know it’s misogynistic and don’t get me wrong I’d still be mad as hell, but not nearly as incensed as with a homophobic or racial slur thrown my (or anyone else’s) way. )

Personally, I find the "C" word every bit as gross, unjustifiable and wrong as I do a homophobic or racial slur.  It's always going to imply misogyny. 

Going back to equating food addiction to drug addiction - there ARE similarities.  I had a friend who had a degenerating back disease.  She was in pain 24/7.  She'd had all the surgeries and non-surgical help that medicine could give her.  She had to rely on opiates for any small relief she could get.  And a couple of times she ended up abusing those pain pills and ending up in rehab.  Now she NEEDED those pain pills to endure her painful life.  But she didn't need to ABUSE those pills.  Just like Twit (and any other food addict) NEEDS to eat, but doesn't need to ABUSE food.  So Glenn was right after all.  Not that Twit will ever admit to it.

[TotoGirl]

I guess we'll have to agree to disagree on the level of despicable the whole c**t vs. f*****t wording is. Personally I don't think there is a more vile word to call a woman than the c-word, and I used the f****t word as a retaliatory term that Kerryn could have used, but was classy enough not to.

My entire family and all my friends know that I will absolutely NOT tolerate the c-word being used in my presence in any way, shape or form. If they do say it, they know they will be shown the door. Quickly.

I've always thought Todd was one of Twit's "cooler", nicer friends, but knowing he called a woman the c-word, I'd just as soon slap him across the face rather than meet him. The fact that the entire group attacked her just made the whole thing worse.

Edited August 18, 2016 by TotoGirl

[Tosia]

As a woman, I think c**t is incredibly derogatory and sexist-- and on the same track as racist or homophobic slurs.  They're all detestable, as are Quit and enablers. 

[mamadrama]

23 minutes ago, Tosia said:

As a woman, I think c**t is incredibly derogatory and sexist-- and on the same track as racist or homophobic slurs.  They're all detestable, as are Quit and enablers. 

I agree. I don't think there's another derogatory word for "woman" that comes close to the "c" word. It's not even allowed on this forum, which might put the "badness" of it into context. 

[ClareWalks]

Agree. The C-word is filthy and disgusting, and I have a fuckin' potty mouth :-P For me the C-word is up there with the N-word as far as "my personal discomfort with even thinking about uttering it."

[OnceSane]

14 hours ago, TotoGirl said:

Hey guys....please go show Mamadrama some love over on the Skinny:Part 2 thread.

Twit's minions have targeted her and gone after her personal information, which could affect her livelihood. (And the comment she left simply said that she hoped Kerryn was out with friends & not reading comments.)

She could use some love and support from all of us.

Actually, don't.  It is off-topic for that thread.  Keep it here or take it to PM.

[TotoGirl]

Mods-Thanks for moving my post to the correct thread and for the PM suggestion.

No harm intended, just trying to bring good feelings to another poster.

Edited August 22, 2016 by TotoGirl

[Ketzel]

3 hours ago, ClareWalks said:

Agree. The C-word is filthy and disgusting, and I have a fuckin' potty mouth :-P For me the C-word is up there with the N-word as far as "my personal discomfort with even thinking about uttering it."

I agree completely. And yet Our Whitney, Feminist Icon, can sit there and listen to her dance partner call another woman that with perfect aplomb.

[Cinnamini11]

Whoa, not gonna lie this is kind of blowing my mind. I’d probably go with b*tch first (then again I/friends use that pretty word pretty easy), but I have used the c word at least once in reference to someone.  I was thinking about it and wondering if any one identifies with the other categories of slurs (and I guess it’s little personal so please feel free to not comment).

I mean of course all of someone’s identities are irrevocably intertwined. But I realized if I had to rank the strength/personal connection I had to each in general (which would be my race/ethnicity, then sexuality, then gender from greatest to least), it’d follow the same order in level of “offensiveness,” if that makes sense. So that’s probably why I feel that way.

Not trying to be offensive I was just curious as I didn’t know the word had such strong personal reactions. Honestly it might be exposure too, I’m pretty sure I never heard the word until right before college and even then I didn’t know what it meant (besides the fact that it was insulting). Pretty much my only familiarity with it after that was from the book.

[RealityCowgirl]

While standing at the counter at my local McAlister's franchise, waiting to order my lunch, my eyes landed on a sugar cookie the size of my head (bright blue sprinkles - part of an autism promotion). I added that cookie to my order because, well, it was funny.

The difference between me and the snowflake? As enticing as it might have been, I didn't sit in my car and chow down. I took it home, broke it up, wrapped up the pieces and put them in the freezer. I'll enjoy them, one piece at a time, as special treats - not dessert after wolfing down a bundle of health bars.

The employee at the counter may have thought my random chuckling was nuts, but this group will get it. ;)

20 hours ago, Ketzel said:

I agree completely. And yet Our Whitney, Feminist Icon, can sit there and listen to her dance partner call another woman that with perfect aplomb.

Her hypocrisy is pretty endless, isn't it? That's the nonsense I can't stand. Skinny, fat, whatever. That kind of behavior is despicable.

Edited August 19, 2016 by RealityCowgirl

[auntjess]

OK, someone who knows more about cruise add-ons and fees should check this out, but when I look at the Carnival page, https://www.carnival.com/cruise-search#?layout=grid&pageSize=8&exclDetails=false&showBest&pageNumber=1&sort=FromPrice&shipCode=CQ&numAdults=2&numChildren=0&useSuggestions

and Whitney's cruise page, http://nobodyshameatsea.com/price.html, there seems to be a pretty big price disparity. 
However one may include fees, and maybe that would make up the difference.

[TotoGirl]

I wonder what the owners of the Greensboro Dance Company think of Twit & Todd's behavior and language while on national TV.  I know they get a lot of free publicity because of Todd & Twit, but I assume that a huge percentage of their customers/students are female (adults, teens and little girls). I wonder how many of their students are as outraged and distgusted as we are? Wonder if GDC worries about it affecting their business?

(I'm still super-pissed about the bullshit that went on the other night!!!)

Edited August 20, 2016 by TotoGirl
Fixed Tod/Todd typo

[mamadrama]

3 hours ago, TotoGirl said:

I wonder what the owners of the Greensboro Dance Company think of Twit & Tod's behavior and language while on national TV.  I know they get a lot of free publicity because of Todd & Twit, but I assume that a huge percentage of their customers/students are female (adults, teens and little girls). I wonder how many of their students are as outraged and distgusted as we are? Wonder if GDC worries about it affecting their business?

(I'm still super-pissed about the bullshit that went on the other night!!!)

Good point. I really do hope she receives backlash from all of this. Maybe it will be a wakeup call.

[amacmom]

Not sure how to quote here from other threads, but the for those done with Big Whit the question has been asked on what to watch next.

Quote

 

notyrmomma: What show are you all watching next?  I'm thinking Toddlers and Tiaras.

auntjess: Born This Way, true crime show/ID shows, DIY shows for me.

 

My husband says I watch too much "murder" TV (because you know it's always the spouse). And we had a long discussion with friends on how you can kill your spouse and get away with it (but don't try the same thing with the the next one). He knows it's all in jest. The guy's a saint. 

Anywho, It was Toddlers & Tiaras that took me down the TLC rabbit hole and I'll watch the new season. I watch MBFFL & My 600lb life as cautionary tales. 

[Barb23]

I'm into the murder mystery shows too.  What I've learned from watching Snapped - Buy any of the supplies you need (tarp, rope, etc) from a Mom & Pop type hardware store in another town that doesn't have cameras, buy in advance & pay cash.  Some of those people are just asking to be caught. I have room to talk - I would be the first one to be caught. Lol. 

I also got hooked on the prison shows a few years back.  There was one show, Prison Wives, I watched so many times I had each of their stories memorized.  Still watch Locked Up Abroad occasionally but they end up being same theme, person unknowingly becomes a drug mule & gets caught.  Same thing with Intervention- same story, different people. 

I've also gotten hooked on the old game shows What's My Line, To Tell the Truth & I've Got A Secret on the Buzzer Channel.  They're all in black & white & I love seeing the styles back in the day (early 60's). A very young Johnny Carson has been a panelist on To Tell the Truth.  One of the hosts always comes out with a lit cigarette in his hand & smokes during the whole episode. I'm waiting for him to set his cue cards on fire.  Boy have the times changed.....

[TotoGirl]

Criminal Minds, NCIS, Joe Kenda & other true crime shows, CSI (original & NY), Law & Order:SVU (Love Mariska Hargitay!), and any kind of Forensics show. (My hubby also jokes that if he ever goes missing, our kids need to point the cops my way, even though they'd never find his body!) :) If I'd only known about Forensics when I graduated from high school, I'm positive I could've helped catch a ton of serial killers by now!

Toddlers & Tiaras, MBFFL, 600-lb. Life.

Used to love the Duggars (until the parental cover-up & other crap Josh did), and, hanging head in shame... Honey Boo Boo (but their grossness got to me).

Edited August 21, 2016 by TotoGirl

[Aw my lahgs]

No need to search far...

Danielle and Mohamed from 90 day fiancé are back in a spin off named something like after the first 90 days which airs 9/11. We will see how they fared after their wedding and after Mohamed left to live in Miami. Plenty of drama. We will also get to meet one of Mohameds mistresses (Luisa), Danielle's lover (Gabriel), Danielle's former BFF now turned enemy Maria (who would rile up fights on the 90 day fiancé Facebook page, harass the haters etc). We will also get to meet Danielle's real life friend Beth, who is addicted but loves to pretend she's a person of "superior caliber" and who has an entire fantasy life all made up!

There will also be a new season full of green card scammers (normal 90 day fiancé) which premieres this Monday 8/7c!

There of course will be my 600 lbs life..

And rumor has it, after the most boring big brother summer ever, that there will be a new online only big brother starting after this one finishes.

Edited August 21, 2016 by Nutella

[DoctorWhovian]

The c-word is interesting to me because, growing up in America, it's a huge insult that I would never use, as it has a huge sexist and misogynistic tone behind it. But then I lived in England, where it is a much more casual term and generally used equally against men and women, and thus hearing it there, I never was bothered by it. But being back in the States, I'm bothered by it again -- the implication of the word has so much to do with it. And him using it here was just gross, and good for Kerryn for not retaliating, regardless of what words she used.

[auntjess]

For all the murder mystery fans who haven't been to the ID thread, in networks, here's a link to our proudest work.
It begins near the bottom of the first ID page, and continues onto p 2.
http://forums.previously.tv/topic/2691-investigation-discovery-because-the-playboy-channel-doesnt-do-true-crime/?do=findComment&comment=76338

[mamadrama]

I write murder mysteries so, like the rest of you, I am totally into the ID shows. My favorite is DISAPPEARED, although I miss the old narrator. I also like the various DATELINES. It's funny how they will take the same murder/disappearance and feature on several different formats. :-)

Reality TV: 600 POUND LIFE, MARRIED AT FIRST SIGHT, TEEN MOM OG (when I can stomach it), and DANCING WITH THE STARS. 

The one I am super stoked about this season, though, is the new GILMORE GIRLS. It won't be long now! My husband even watches that one with me!

[crazycatlady58]

On 8/20/2016 at 10:08 PM, mamadrama said:

I write murder mysteries so, like the rest of you, I am totally into the ID shows. My favorite is DISAPPEARED, although I miss the old narrator. I also like the various DATELINES. It's funny how they will take the same murder/disappearance and feature on several different formats. :-)

Reality TV: 600 POUND LIFE, MARRIED AT FIRST SIGHT, TEEN MOM OG (when I can stomach it), and DANCING WITH THE STARS. 

The one I am super stoked about this season, though, is the new GILMORE GIRLS. It won't be long now! My husband even watches that one with me!

Mamadrama, I enjoy  reading mysterys , could I ask what name you write  under ? 

[mamadrama]

13 minutes ago, crazycatlady58 said:

Mamadrama, I enjoy  reading mysterys , could I ask what name you write  under ? 

I write under my real name. If you want to send me a PM, we can talk. :-) 

[riverblue22]

11 hours ago, mamadrama said:

I write murder mysteries so, like the rest of you, I am totally into the ID shows. My favorite is DISAPPEARED, although I miss the old narrator. I also like the various DATELINES. It's funny how they will take the same murder/disappearance and feature on several different formats. :-)

Reality TV: 600 POUND LIFE, MARRIED AT FIRST SIGHT, TEEN MOM OG (when I can stomach it), and DANCING WITH THE STARS. 

The one I am super stoked about this season, though, is the new GILMORE GIRLS. It won't be long now! My husband even watches that one with me!

I inhale murder mysteries in print or Kindle, but I don't have much interest in the TV detective programs.   But give me a good Deborah Crombie or Peter Robinson or John Sandford and I'm all set.

Lately I've been fascinated by Naked and Afraid and Homestead Rescue.  Can't take any more 600 lb people and those toddlers and their tiaras get tiresome very quickly!

[okerry]

13 hours ago, Nutella said:

No need to search far...

Danielle and Mohamed from 90 day fiancé are back in a spin off named something like after the first 90 days which airs 9/11. We will see how they fared after their wedding and after Mohamed left to live in Miami. Plenty of drama. We will also get to meet one of Mohameds mistresses (Luisa), Danielle's lover (Gabriel), Danielle's former BFF now turned enemy Maria (who would rile up fights on the 90 day fiancé Facebook page, harass the haters etc). We will also get to meet Danielle's real life friend Beth, who is addicted but loves to pretend she's a person of "superior caliber" and who has an entire fantasy life all made up!

There will also be a new season full of green card scammers (normal 90 day fiancé) which premieres this Monday 8/7c!

There of course will be my 600 lbs life..

I tend to like relationship trash the best, and *90-Day Financial* is one of my top faves. And I'm so happy about the Dani-Mo spinoff! I can only hope it will prompt someone to get Dani's children out of that house, if they haven't already.

I wish Dr. Drew was still doing Celebrity Rehab. It was worth watching when they toned down the screaming matches and actually let Dr. D talk. He explained a lot.

Marriage Boot Camp has gotten too stupid even for me - none of the couples were even married, and one of the couples turned out not to be an actual couple at all!

And can't forget Sister Wives. Four women who all hate each other because they're sharing a man, but trying to convince the world they are NOT emotionally starved and eaten alive with jealousy the way any normal woman would be!

I also like Married at First Sight, and I'm waiting to return to My 600-lb Life when Whitney is on it. Which I'm convinced she will be.

[okerry]

12 hours ago, mamadrama said:

I write murder mysteries so, like the rest of you,

LOL I write, too, and actually pay the bills by ghostwriting loads of (clean) romance. Must be why I like all the trashy relationship shows, to show how bad it can get! Though I've never used a storyline from any of the shows - if anything, they show me what *not* to do for an actual romance!

[mamadrama]

2 hours ago, okerry said:

LOL I write, too, and actually pay the bills by ghostwriting loads of (clean) romance. Must be why I like all the trashy relationship shows, to show how bad it can get! Though I've never used a storyline from any of the shows - if anything, they show me what *not* to do for an actual romance!

Ha ha, that is true! I was a ghostwriter for years, until my own books started paying the bills. But nothing exciting like romance. More like biodiesel fuel manuals. 

[mamadrama]

Wanted to say thanks for all the laughs in the forum this week. Enjoyed reading them all-I am kind of addicted to this forum! I have some PMs to answer, too. I am actually taking the day off; today is the anniversary of my child's death. This being a hard week anyway thanks for all the Whitney snark. ?

[jacksgirl]

Thinking of you mamadrama.

[okerry]

1 hour ago, mamadrama said:

Ha ha, that is true! I was a ghostwriter for years, until my own books started paying the bills. But nothing exciting like romance. More like biodiesel fuel manuals. 

Well, it's nice to meet you here! Here is my FB avatar for you: 

And I am so sorry for your loss. Please be kind to yourself today, and come back here for a little escapism (I use it in much the same way.)

[riverblue22]

1 hour ago, mamadrama said:

Wanted to say thanks for all the laughs in the forum this week. Enjoyed reading them all-I am kind of addicted to this forum! I have some PMs to answer, too. I am actually taking the day off; today is the anniversary of my child's death. This being a hard week anyway thanks for all the Whitney snark. ?

mamadrama, I'm so sorry to hear this.  Please take good care of yourself--we are thinking of you~

[crazycatlady58]

Mamadrama,  I will keep you  in my   thoughts .  Take care and know a lot of people  are thinking  good thoughts for you.

[TotoGirl]

Mamadrama---I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this. Sending love & hugs across the miles. You have so many of us here keeping you in our thoughts. I hope knowing that brings you some comfort.

Edited August 21, 2016 by TotoGirl

[TotoGirl]

Found this gem on Twit's FB page a while ago & just remembered it & thought I'd share.... (If it's a repeat, please disregard.)

The FB post was entitled Don't Make Me Smile", "Don't Ask Me to Smile"- something along those lines. (I don't have the energy to go back and look it up.)

Apparently Twit had been in the checkout line at the grocery store, had paid for her items and was waiting for the courtesy guy to finish bagging her groceries. When handing the bags to Twit, he apparently hesitated with the last bag, looked at Twit, and said "Smile, it's a beautiful day!" I guess this was horrific thing to do to Twit because she raced home to her FB page and launched into a 4000-word TIRADE filled with statements like "don't ever ask me to smile, I will smile when, and if, I want to", "NO one has the right to force their feelings onto another human being" and "in this day and age, men still feel like women are to be controlled and that it is a man's right to do so". Of course, her minions joined right in, agreeing that this guy was a "real jerk", that "no man has any right to tell a woman what to do", etc. etc. etc.....Unbelievable.

We all know that Twit lives in a world of "her truths" and twists her interactions with others around in quite inventive ways, but I thought "WTF???" Twit wigged-out out because of this??? Because some guy said "smile"??? Seriously??? Egads--the gall, the horror, the atrocity!!! Stop the presses everywhere, announce to the world, so everyone knows NEVER to say "smile" to anyone ever again!!! 

(Usually, if someone says "smile" to me.....I do! It makes me smile...'cuz I think it's kind of a nice thing to hear! And then...unbelievably ....I usually reply back with "have a great day!" or something terrible like that. But...that's just me....and I'm just not as enlightened in social graces as Twit...Guess I have a lot to learn.)  ;)

Sometimes I just can't with her.......

Edited August 22, 2016 by TotoGirl

[ClareWalks]

@TotoGirl I think a 4000 word tirade is literally insane, but I also take umbrage at men who tell women to smile. Maybe because I was bullied (actually bullied, not Whitney's version of bullying/shaming) in junior high and one of the frequent things the boys would say is to sarcastically order me to "smile," then laughing at me and calling me ugly when I wouldn't. Because they're really giving me something to smile about, right? It brings up some valid points about how frequently men view women as "being here for me to look at," so they think they can dictate our appearance and social responses to them by literally telling us to smile. However, it's not something that comes up too often nowadays, so if some random dude told me to smile I wouldn't think much of it. Whitney is, of course, incapable of letting anything go ;)

[TotoGirl]

@ClareWalks---Thanks for your point of view. I hadn't thought of the whole thing from that perspective until you explained how you feel about it.  I'm so sorry to hear that you were bullied like that. Bullying is something that causes pain and torment in such permanent ways, doesn't it?  I guess we're kindred spirits in that way. (Along with many others in this forum.)

I guess I just looked at this particular situation with Twit as a simple, innocent interaction between two random people and didn't look farther or deeper than that. Even knowing that Twit overreacts---often---I was still surprised by the vehemence in her post. Sometimes it feels a like she just wants something to preach a sermon about and her devout followers jump on everything she says and go crazy with it, just because "Twit says".

Trying to figure her out is quite the exercise in frustration & exasperation, isn't it?

Edited August 22, 2016 by TotoGirl

[ClareWalks]

6 minutes ago, TotoGirl said:

@ClareWalks---Thanks for your point of view. I hadn't thought of the whole thing from that perspective until you explained how you feel about it.  I'm so sorry to hear that you were bullied like that. Bullying is something that causes pain and torment in such permanent ways, doesn't it?  I guess we're kindred spirits in that way. (Along with many others in this forum.)

I guess I just looked at this particular situation with Twit as a simple, innocent interaction between two random people and didn't look farther or deeper than that. Even knowing that Twit overreacts---often---I was still surprised by the vehemence in her post. Sometimes it feels a like she just wants something to preach a sermon about and her devout followers jump on everything she says and go crazy with it, just because "Twit says".

Trying to figure her out is quite the exercise in frustration & exasperation, isn't it?

Bullying SUCKS! And that's one reason Whitney annoys me so much. She claims to be a victim when she is in fact a perpetrator. And she is basically a queen bee with a passel of "yes men" who would agree with her if she claimed that people should never make eye contact because it was shaming her. She totally IS a classic over-reactor.

I am glad I could share my experience though! That's the thing about stuff like "smile," is a lot of people just say it without really thinking about all the possibilities (like maybe someone is not smiling because they're depressed or their mom just died or something). Same with all kinds of hot-button topics like "when are you having kids" and such. What is totally innocent to some is a landmine to others. 

[okerry]

I'll admit to really hating strange men telling me to "smile." It really does feel intrusive. Though it's Whitney's very strong reaction to things like this - combined with her bizarre and inappropriate acting out in a sexual manner - that makes me truly wonder what might have happened to her in the past. It wouldn't excuse her terrible behaviour now, but it might explain some of it.

[yogi2014L]

1 hour ago, okerry said:

I'll admit to really hating strange men telling me to "smile." It really does feel intrusive. Though it's Whitney's very strong reaction to things like this - combined with her bizarre and inappropriate acting out in a sexual manner - that makes me truly wonder what might have happened to her in the past. It wouldn't excuse her terrible behaviour now, but it might explain some of it.

I also REALLY hate it. I don't know why. But for me there was a period of time in my life ( like 22-25) where people would do it ALL The time. and I would get so annoyed. Let me just chill in the elevator alone please. Its awkward. They tell you to smile and its like ok heres a smile...??? Why do I have to smile for you?? 

It is kind of condescending, IMO, so I get the rant. It also seems to happen exclusively to young women or kids. I have never seen a person tell an old man to smile. 

I have since gotten a little older and have mastered the RBF so it happens less.

[ClareWalks]

5 minutes ago, yogi2014L said:

I have since gotten a little older and have mastered the RBF so it happens less.

Resting Bitch Face is a blessing and a curse! It seems like people tell those of us with RBF to smile more, unless and until we can own it to the point where any onlookers are like "oh boy, don't mess with THAT chick." Maybe it's just reaching age 30 that does it ;)

[TotoGirl]

I'll admit to having an "RBF"---some days it's there because it's a crappy day & other times just because....but I mostly reserve it for times when I'm "graced" by the presence of 24/7-CTB's (24/7-Complete & Total Bitches) as I personally (and privately) refer to them. They're sort of the older, wealthier version of Mean Girls and they travel in packs. Somehow there are always a plethora of them at our local High School sporting events, giving the death-stare to anyone that doesn't wildly cheer for their little Peyton Mannings. ;)

(And that’s just what they do on Friday nights.) Several of them are shop owners here in town (floral, clothing, etc.).. Among us "regular people"/"peons" the running joke is, that after (if) you buy anything from their store, you MUST then kneel at their feet, kiss their shoes and thank them for the privilege of spending your money there! They're awful!!! (Definitely 24/-CTB'S in my mind!!!)

Edited August 22, 2016 by TotoGirl

[Pachengala]

Men telling women (because it's always that direction) to smile is super gross and sexist, however much I hate to agree with Vitney on anything. My standard response is to ask, 'Would you say that to another man?' The asker never *gets* it, of course, but I always feel better. No 4000-word diatribe required.

[M.F. Luder]

I understand why it's annoying, but honestly, someone telling me to smile actually does make me smile. I've taken it less as men acting sexist toward me and more as a stranger wanting to interact with me for a few seconds and going for an easy default line. I enjoy these little interactions with people (men or women) that I pass on the streets. Makes me feel like people are friendly. Now, if they try to talk to me further and don't leave me alone when I ask them to, then I'm annoyed.

[TotoGirl]

1 hour ago, M.F. Luder said:

I understand why it's annoying, but honestly, someone telling me to smile actually does make me smile. I've taken it less as men acting sexist toward me and more as a stranger wanting to interact with me for a few seconds and going for an easy default line. I enjoy these little interactions with people (men or women) that I pass on the streets. Makes me feel like people are friendly.

That's how I feel too. Makes me feel like people are friendly too, though I understand where everyone else is coming from

Everyone that posts in these forums is so good at getting their thoughts across so eloquently...sometimes when I go back and re-read my posts, my words make me sound like I'm a schmuck who barely passed third grade!

Edited August 22, 2016 by TotoGirl
"else" not "Elvis"---damn autocorrect!!!

[mamadrama]

Someone telling me to "smile" pisses me off. However, Whitney complaining about it automatically makes me want to the take the side of the bagger, just to be contrary. 

[Tosia]

I used to have RBF all the time.  Just did not realize I was doing it.  Just going my way in the neutral zone,  I thought, until someone said I looked mad alot.  

I also used to be a mouth breather, until someone brought that to my attention when I was abt 14---thank goodness. 

I think I have been asked to smile once or twice in my life that I can remember. I was super shy and avoided looking at  the eyes of others,  so no interaction usually.  

Now I purposefully smile and talk to strangers in stores,  clerks,  parents with kids,  etc.....mostly women,  now that I think about it.  IDK, just feeling good nowadays , I guess.

Someone made an excellent point above about men never being told to smile,  or elderly. When men say it to women,   I could see that being patronizing, not earth-shattering, but annoying if it happened often. 

I wouldn't tell anyone else to smile,  though.  Probably get a "fuck you" in response-- which would be my response,  if I was in a bad mood, or say that I've got alot on my mind if FU was not appropriate, like at work.  I guess it depends on the context. 

Whit must have alot of time on her hands,  as well as a deep core of anger to go off that drastically. 

[Ketzel]

I dislike being ordered to "smile" by strangers.  It implies they have a right to control my facial expressions, which they don't. When I was a kid, my mother could hiss "Smile!" at me when I was being sullen in the face of another relative trying to be friendly, but I'm not a kid anymore, and these men aren't my mother. Also, my face is not some public form of decoration that anyone should feel free to critique.  Generally speaking, if some guy says, 'Smile!" to me, I just say, "No" back and let my face keep on doing whatever I want it to.

The worst example of this I ever experienced was actually the day of my father's funeral.  I will never forget the asshole who accosted me. The service at the New York funeral home (in Battery Park City, not far from Wall Street) had just ended. My family was already in the limousine and I, dressed in black, was standing alone on the sidewalk next to the car, watching my father's coffin being loaded into the hearse for the ride to the cemetery. Walking down the street came a middle-aged guy, strutting large and in charge, who was certainly dressed as if he worked on Wall Street. He looked at me, stopped short and said, "Hey, pretty green eyes, you know you'd be prettier if you smiled - c'mon, smile for daddy!"  As I said, my normal reaction would have been to just say, "No,"  but in that context and with those words, I lost it. I pointed to the coffin being slid into the hearse and said, "There's my daddy, you stupid son-of-a-bitch. Go fuck yourself." And he responded, "Easy there, girly! No need to be so nasty to someone trying to pay you a compliment!"

Yeah, hard as it is to get the words out, I kind of am on Whit's side on this one . . . . 

Edited August 22, 2016 by Ketzel

[ClareWalks]

5 minutes ago, Ketzel said:

He looked at me, stopped short and said, "Hey, pretty green eyes, you know you'd be prettier if you smiled - c'mon, smile for daddy!"  As I said, my normal reaction would have to just say, "No,"  but in that context and with those words, I lost it. I pointed to the coffin being slid into the hearse and said, "There's my daddy, you stupid son-of-a-bitch. Go fuck yourself." And he responded, "Easy there, girly! No need to be so nasty to someone trying to pay you a compliment!"

OH MY GOD. I wish I could give you a hug. That is so fucked up. He should have been MORTIFIED. See, that is why you don't tell people to smile. I am sorry for your loss :(

[Ketzel]

30 minutes ago, ClareWalks said:

OH MY GOD. I wish I could give you a hug. That is so fucked up. He should have been MORTIFIED. See, that is why you don't tell people to smile. I am sorry for your loss :(

Thank you, Clarewalks, that's kind of you. And in truth, I think the guy was fucked-up. Those were the days where the right to a little nose candy at the end of a three martini lunch was in full bloom on Wall Street.  An explanation, but not an excuse!

Edited August 22, 2016 by Ketzel

[Maggienolia]

On 8/20/2016 at 7:47 PM, amacmom said:

Not sure how to quote here from other threads, but the for those done with Big Whit the question has been asked on what to watch next.

My husband says I watch too much "murder" TV (because you know it's always the spouse). And we had a long discussion with friends on how you can kill your spouse and get away with it (but don't try the same thing with the the next one). He knows it's all in jest. The guy's a saint. 

Anywho, It was Toddlers & Tiaras that took me down the TLC rabbit hole and I'll watch the new season. I watch MBFFL & My 600lb life as cautionary tales. 

I love all the murder and crime shows, too. LOVED Forensic Files when it was on regularly (I think it's still on in reruns?). But for something a little more positive versus the train wreck that IS MBFFL, I really like Born This Way. 

[Maggienolia]

7 hours ago, M.F. Luder said:

I understand why it's annoying, but honestly, someone telling me to smile actually does make me smile. I've taken it less as men acting sexist toward me and more as a stranger wanting to interact with me for a few seconds and going for an easy default line. I enjoy these little interactions with people (men or women) that I pass on the streets. Makes me feel like people are friendly. Now, if they try to talk to me further and don't leave me alone when I ask them to, then I'm annoyed.

I think for me it would depend on HOW they told me to smile. If it's a friendly "smile" that you can sense is more a way of just interacting or trying to be friendly or cheerful, that wouldn't be so bad. But the more sexist, command-like "smile" or "you'd be prettier if you smiled" would probably land me in jail and the dude in the hospital. But maybe not. Maybe I'd just think about it. And smile. A really. scary. smile.