Alyssa and John: Lunch with Lurch

[Sew Sumi]

Back to matching Tikky dresses today.

 

[BitterApple]

12 hours ago, andromeda331 said:

Alyssa's an idiot. Anyone with any sense would be concerned at someone who's really not a friend or relative who keeps clothes for their kids. That's too weird and creepy.

I agree. An occasional gift is one thing, but have we ever seen those girls wear the same church outfit twice? I don't know prices on kids' clothes, but that Tikky woman must have spent close to a thousand dollars by now. I know Alyssa is dumb as a box of rocks, but you'd think John would have enough sense to know this isn't normal. 

[Absolom]

Down to the matching shoes!

[VioletWitch]

 

[3 is enough]

Maybe it's just me, but the whole concept of the daddy-daughter date just disturbs me. 

My son has 2 daughters, and he spends a lot of one-on-one time with them.  But they don't call it a date, and it isn't a special occasion.  He's their dad- spending time with him is not a treat- it's a normal part of life.

ETA:  I bit the bullet and watched the whole video.  I did not like the way Alyssa subtly tried to discourage Allie's jewelry choices-  she's 5 years old!  Let her pick what she wants- who cares if it doesn't match exactly.

Edited May 7, 2020 by 3 is enough

[Me from ME]

Quote

Maybe it's just me, but the whole concept of the daddy-daughter date just disturbs me. 

Especially since it is paving the way for purity rings and purity balls. The whole thing is creepy to me.

When I was in high school several of my friends had very lovely colored gemstone rings. (Not purity.) I dearly wanted one and my mother and I looked at some in jewelry stores. When it came down to purchasing one my father prohibited it since he was superstitious that if I got an expensive ring from my father it would jinx me receiving one from a future husband.

[Temperance]

I raised that marriage is about so much more than rings. 

Anyway if they weren't fundie daddy date wouldn't be so creepy, although I'll try not to use it in the future. 

[VioletWitch]

 

[3 is enough]

That's a lot of snacks.

 

[Temperance]

So they left their kids with someone babysitting during the pandemic. My parents took very trips without the kids. Modern couples seem more spoiled as getting sitters and going on dates, vacations and stuff. God forbid becoming parents should disrupt your life!

[floridamom]

Here in Florida, I didn't think that 'vacation spot homes' were open to renting at this time.

[3 is enough]

At least they appear to be keeping to themselves- bringing dinner in, going on bike rides.  Better than the alternative I guess.  

I wonder if they are being more careful due to Alyssa's heart issues? 

[Sew Sumi]

Alyssa claims that the last surgery was successful, but they wouldn't know for sure for six months. Six months have passed, and she hasn't updated the public. However, she's working out and bike riding, so I can assume she's pretty healthy.

[cereality]

They kept referring to it as a staycation so I assumed that's what it really was. That they punted the girls to one of his 5 siblings or his parents who all live on the same street, bought a bunch of cheez its and that was their weekend. But then after a while it occurred to me that the house they were in looked much nicer than their house; at one point they were eating takeout in a formal dining room -- which they don't have in their own house. So it looks like they got an AirBnB. They may have stayed in Orlando/their own local area but just rented a bigger house uncluttered with kids toys.

They did go out for dinner one night -- seated indoors in a restaurant booth which made me cringe esp given Alyssa's recent heart surgery; even despite the fact that it was successful, she HAS had 2 heart surgeries + has some other more treatable heart rhythm issue that she told her parents about. But aside from that it did seem like they avoided being around people. Looked like daily bike rides and cheesecake factory takeout. I wonder if they went out to dinner that first night and then got a bit weirded out/nervous being in a restaurant and decided they'd spend the rest of the 2 days at home.

[3 is enough]

I didn't see the eating out photo(s).  I assumed they farmed the girls out to John's parents - I guess if everyone has been staying home and no one has gotten sick they figured it was safe.  I just don't know.  

If it was me I would have waited a bit longer before leaving my kids for the weekend.

[Sew Sumi]

Based on these pics, they are home. It was just a weekend at the air bnb. 

 

[YupItsMe]

Wonder if we’ll soon here a pregnancy announcement?

[VioletWitch]

 

[floridamom]

What beach is this? Why are the Bates in Florida? Isn't there a pandemic going on? 

I don't think these people actually live in the real world.

[VioletWitch]

 

[BitterApple]

Cute pictures. I'm so happy Alyssa's girls can swim and play without being buried under layers of skirts, leggings and t-shirts. 

[VioletWitch]

 

[answerphone]

Seriously, who dresses up for a church service at home? Party dresses, high heels, a suit and necktie?

Wrestling three young children to be ready for a photo op nearly every day?

The family lives in a fantasy world 

[Sew Sumi]

They went to real church today. 

[VioletWitch]

 

[3 is enough]

Well, they are better than Carlin and Evan I suppose.  

And while I don't disagree that married couples do need time alone, I think during a pandemic this kind of trip is hardly essential.

I also had 3 children in 4 years.  If we went out to dinner alone a few times a year I was grateful.  We did not take a vacation without the kids until they were much older (9, 11, & 13). 

Admittedly, we did not have any family close by, so our opportunities were limited.

 Yes, Alyssa, parenting 3 young children can be intense and repetitive, but those years don't last forever, unless you choose to have baby after baby.  And, there is this thing called "school" which not only gives the kids an education, but also helps them to learn how to socialize with people other than family.  And as a bonus, it would give you a bit of a break each day.  

[LongDenimFrumper]

For people who are supposed to desire a "blessing" every year, they seem awfully excited about dropping those girls off for four days! Only 16 more babies to go Alyssa. Hilarious if they end up creating baby number four on this little get away. LOL. Hopefully they are starting to realize that producing a mega family isn't the best idea.

It's really a shame those two didn't hold off on the babies after getting married so that they could enjoy some one on one time together. Then they wouldn't have to freak out over a 4 day mini vacation just to get to eat junk food, sleep and have sex with some privacy. Just a thought I had after my initial post. 

Edited June 10, 2020 by LongDenimFrumper
Additional information

[cereality]

John and Alyssa posted part 1 of a video re her heart condition which they clearly made on their anniversary trip. IDK why they, E&C etc. are suddenly so big on YouTube videos -- are they all looking for YT sponsorships?

My one bit of mean snark -- they both come across so uneducated/dumb. John goes on about how the drs use such big words that they don't know what is going on. They really strike me as the types that just were going on what drs where saying without even being able to ask questions bc they just have no critical thinking skills. But I know what I said just then IS mean and unnecessary bc that IS what all of us non doctors are like at various levels and the average American DOES do just what the dr says without really understanding.

I really feel for them -- a sudden heart condition comes on in Jan 2019 and they really don't get answers until like Apr 2019 bc they'd go to the ER and her heart wouldn't be doing that exact rhythm so there's nothing they could to help; they'd send her to a cardiologist and then it'd take 2 wks to get an appt; then that dr would do tests and 2 weeks later say hmm this isn't my specialty; go see a cardiac electrophysiologist then it takes 3 weeks to get that appt etc. And in the meantime she is feeling crappy; her heart rate will jump to the 200s and then down to the 40s leaving her wiped out/on the verge of passing out - and in fact the first time it happened was while w driving w all the kids and she had to pull off the road; they're scared; they have 3 kids including a 1 yr old at the time; John takes days/weeks off but also has to return to work bc he makes the $; so now she's scared and alone with 3 very young kids; so she spends 8 hr days sitting at her MIL's house with the kids or having their niece spend 8 hrs a day at their home just so there's another adult around who can keep an eye on her and the kids.

It's interesting how enmeshed she is with John's family. I know it's just convenience of living in the same neighborhood but with 67 members in her own family, they seriously couldn't dispatch a sibling to go live with them or Kelly couldn't go -- though maybe that wouldn't help as Alyssa would have to cook and clean for Kelly. Michaela is likely the only one who'd even want to go and I'm guessing this was during the school semester; all the other married girls wouldn't do it. Carlin was single at the time but married that May so no way she'd tear herself away from her wedding planning + fiance plus she's an annoying loud liability more than a help and Katie -- who knows how close she is w Alyssa + IDK if G&K want to let their only single girl go bc then who cooks and cleans at their house??

Maybe it's just bc I've lived in east coast big cities but instead of going from random dr to random dr hoping for answers, I wish they had showed up instantly at U Florida's cardiology practice or hell even made the calls to get an appointment at U of Miami which has a great cardiology division, left the girls with the MIL, and made the 3 hr drive. Academic health systems see really complex things so they're more likely to be able to figure stuff out-- yet I think they just didn't know what to do and instead predictably said they turned to praying for answers and just trusting that whatever practices that their local hospitals sent them to would eventually figure it out.

Also interesting that Alyssa mentioned she has some 2nd cousin who is "in cardiology" (didn't say if she was a nurse/dr/what) who was the one who finally said -- you need an electrophysiologist who specializes in x, I will find you someone in your area and in fact THAT dr is the one who worked with them on meds/surgeries. Interesting that there ARE some educated ppl in the family. I shouldn't be shocked though -- only G&K went fundie so nothing prevented their family members from going to nursing school or med school. Also funny that the dr she ended up working with for the 2 surgeries is Indian -- I mean NBD to me but for all the -- Lord only loves Christians etc attitude, funny that her problem was finally remedied by a Indian Hindu dr.

I wouldn't be surprised if this has scared John into wanting NO more kids bc he doesn't want Alyssa to go thru pregnancy. Even talking about it 9+ mos after the fact, he was teary and said it's hard to talk about and 2019 was the worst year of his life. And he said that when they wheeled her away and told him he had to stay in the waiting room, he basically went back to the room and cried for an hour. His reactions and care for her are very genuine and not in a OMG LOOK AT ME I'm a loving husband I CRIED kind of way; even now he seems a bit shaken. I think they likely WILL have more kids but it'd be great if he exercised his headship and put a stop to it and kept on using whatever protection they've been using for 2+ yrs since Zoey's birth.

 

[65mickey]

They might not be the most educated people around but they are not stupid. Kelly said that Alyssa's heart problem manifested after her 3rd pregnancy. That should be a huge red flag. They have 3 beautiful girls. Why chance something happening to Alyssa just to have another child. John seems to adore Alyssa and I can't imagine him wanting to take a chance on losing her. 

Also I read on one blog that Katie went to Floria at some point during this  and spent a week helping out. 

[cereality]

I think Alyssa and Kelly definitely are that stupid. Alyssa has said in videos in the last few months that she'd love to have a John Elliot Jr and it's John who has said -- no I don't need a Jr. I'm sure it's a combo of stupid + drs don't know everything + God will protect her + God has now given a cardiologist that understands her problem so NBD + if God means for her to have sons, no dr. can stop her.

Hopefully JOHN falls in the category of not being super educated but also not being stupid. He seems shaken by this whole thing, and I think he genuinely loves her. While he loves his kids, when I watched the video of their recent pandemic trip, it was very clear that he loves and wants to spend time with HER and did not get married just so he could have kids. I mean he was giddy about a relatively crappy vacation -- an AirBnb, sex with his wife, cheez-its, cheesecake factory takeout, and 4 days of playing pool and darts. But it just suggested how much he wants to just hang out with her. He even made a side comment about -- oh we just don't to talk much at home because we're always training (eyeroll) little people; he was genuinely sad to leave and Alyssa was the one who made it sound better by saying -- yeah but we miss the kids SO much and John was the one who half hardheartedly was like uh yeah we miss them.

Seems like he'd be perfectly happy with just the 3 girls, in 16 yrs the youngest will be 18 and J&A would only be 46 and 41 leaving then YEARS to hang out at still relatively "young" ages. I don't think he is one of those people who is interested in being 46 and walking 22 yr old Allie down the aisle and then toting around his 2 yr old at the reception, the way Gil was doing with Jeb and Jud during his/Erin/Zach's weddings. I'm sure he's glad to have a family but I feel like it's more of a "if we want a family later, we have to raise kids now" type of obligation; as opposed to say a Brandon who if they could would LOVE to have kids ranging from newborn to age 20 by the time he's 50. I think him and Michaela are just fulfilled by being around children -- whether that means teaching or wiping noses or playing -- in a way that John isn't.

[3 is enough]

Maybe John can talk some sense into Alyssa.  She is only 25- plenty of time to take a few years off, let the girls grow up a bit and make sure her heart is ok.  Then they could try for a little boy.  I honestly do not get the impression that she wants a boatload of kids, but my guess is "a man must have a son" has been drilled into her since she was very young.  

I do agree that John adores her and is not overly concerned about not having a son. I'm sure he loves his girls, but I also think he would have been quite happy to have had a couple of years alone with Alyssa before the baby train started.

Edited June 15, 2020 by 3 is enough

[Temperance]

The heart condition is supposed to be one that can be fixed and go away. Like if it didn't comeback after six months, it never will. There are people, who had the same condition, who have said the surgery completed fixed the same problem for them.  That probably changes things. If it was on-going, I think John would put his foot down. 

I'm surprised they've gone along as they have between blessings. Alyssa had a year old child and could easily have gotten pregnant during that last year, especially since they took so many trips away.  Even if she announces soon, that's still a solid two years between pregnancies. The only other Duggar/Bates couple who's gone that long are Derick and Jill Duggar Dillard. Their youngest child Samuel Dillard turns 3 in about a month and no new blessings. 

It's very lucky that Alyssa married a man like John, who is willing to use some kind of birth control/family planning. I'm sure Kelly wants her pregnant ASAP, but John's the headship. 

[RebeccatheWriter]

6 hours ago, Temperance said:

The heart condition is supposed to be one that can be fixed and go away. Like if it didn't comeback after six months, it never will. There are people, who had the same condition, who have said the surgery completed fixed the same problem for them.  That probably changes things. If it was on-going, I think John would put his foot down.  

From what Alyssa said on the show, the one issue (irregular) was fixed by the procedure that she had twice. A second issue is still an ongoing problem. 

[cereality]

I assume the problem for which she had 2 ablations is solved since the last one was around Aug-Sept and it's been more than 6 mos. She did say in a recent episode though that she was having a-fib or a similar heart rate issue but that was more likely to be solved with medication.

And on a different note -- damn daddy daughter dates are a special kind of creepy. Watched the one with John and Allie for her 5th birthday. They acted like it was a prom. With Alyssa having her pick out dresses, jewelry and shoes the day before and telling a freaking FIVE year old that she couldn't wear certain tacky crappy 5 year old jewelry bc it doesn't match her dress!? Uh she's FIVE who cares if she wears a blue bracelet with a pink dress. Meanwhile she's curling the kid's hair as John is steam ironing his shirt in the kitchen and tying a tie and putting on a full suit. I mean we wouldn't want to go wrinkled or open collar on a date with a FIVE year old DAUGHTER. And then Alyssa sat lamenting about how for her 4th bday, Alyssa was in the hospital, but the kid and John STILL went on a date (despite John saying in the prior video how stressed and tired he had been with no sleep leading up to the surgery) that day and wait for it -- she had a friend come over and get her dressed and curl her hair!?

And then this "date" -- the only food choices were fast food in the car in part bc of Covid in part bc she's 5 so I hardly think you're taking her to a Michelin star restaurant even if one is open. So like a 5 yr old she chose -- smoothies from McDs, food from Chick Fil A, topped off with a shake from Chick Fil A. 

And then they go park in an empty parking lot facing a "lake" (looked like one of those Florida retention ponds they have all over the place) climbed into the back of the SUV to what can only be described as a make out spot -- bc Alyssa wanted it to look special so she put in pillows and blankets -- to eat. And like a 5 yr old she farted, giggled uncontrollably, and as John sat there and explained the significance of a Pandora bracelet which will allow him to add a charm yearly, she practically broke the bracelet as she yanked it in every which direction to pull it out of its packaging. And then they played hide and seek, which wasn't weird at all to do beside an abandoned parking lot where anyone can drive by and scoop up your child as you're not watching or the kid can fall into the retention pond and then daddy is seeking said kid running in a suit, tie and dress shoes in 90 degree Orlando weather in May.

What is wrong with these people?? I realize they (or at least Alyssa) are so under exposed they wouldn't know it but climbing into the back seat of the car with it being decked out to make it "special" -- yeah there's undertones of high school kids doing that when they want to make out or go all the way but can't risk doing it at home bc they'd be caught. What would be so wrong with -- hey kid it's your birthday, let's go get food just you and me -- and make that a yearly tradition if you want her to remember something she did with daddy. And then you take her out wearing jeans and a t shirt and flip flops or whatever your normally wear. And then you eat in the car this yr or in a restaurant in following years -- and talk about whatever the kid wants to talk about without trying to get deep and meaningful!?

And if this is what "dates" look like with John who is relatively normal as far as fundies and attention whores go -- can't wait to see what Evan's dates will be like in 3-4 years.

Edited June 17, 2020 by cereality

[Sew Sumi]

Alyssa's surgeries, Part Two.

 

[cereality]

IDK why they're posting these incredibly personal videos re how hard the surgery was on her esp the first one esp when it seems like there is (rightly) some PTSD about it esp for John. I feel bad for them and then also find myself thinking OMG go to a major metro area cardiac hospital like Miami that has a ton of experience in these things; I'm not saying it would be easier on her there but this is the kind of thing where she needs people who are as experienced as possible not ppl saying -- hmm I've never seen a neck catheter act like that before; even John sarcastically responded to that -- "or so he says . . .".

And WTH are Gil and Kelly soooo busy with that they couldn't be there for more than 12 hrs the day of? The son in law has all the stress on him, presumably his parents weren't there bc they had all the kids including a 1 yr old, and her 2 jobless parents -- who also don't raise their other kids -- can't stay for a few days? It was a 6 hr surgery and she said by the time she came out of it Gil had left bc he needed to catch a flight out for some prescheduled obligations. So I thought -- ok oh Kelly was staying a few days. Well John left the hospital after she was put into a room to take Allie out for her daddy daughter date bc it was her birthday (eyeroll - on the necessity of a date though I do get what he said that he didn't want her to remember it as a bad day) and then Alyssa had some complications while he was gone, and Kelly called John who had just finished up and dropped off Allie and said he needed to get back ASAP bc of complications and bc Kelly had to leave in an hr or 2 anyway. Seriously -- they couldn't be there to help John and to help Alyssa when she first got home bc she said she couldn't move around much, John would have to help her roll over?!

Parents of the year there. Seems like for her surgeries they've just swooped in for the photo opps. I know Alyssa is a private person so maybe she doesn't want them there 24-7 but you'd think as parents THEY'D want to be there when their 24 year old child needs heart surgery. Just be around for a week after. Stay in a hotel. You don't have to be in A&J's face 24-7 but you can come and go and jump in to help when John needs a break, needs to go see the kids etc. Seems like once they marry, they really are their spouse's problem.

On the predictable fundie talk they were refreshingly honest esp John. He did say that he questioned why it was happening to them, they were good people, they help others and then his conclusion was God saying -- well why can't it happen to YOU? Do you think you're special? Look at the things that happen around the world.

I think all the Bates kids -- and prob all fundies -- are raised to believe that if they obey their parents and God, don't kiss or have sex before marriage, and then get married and have kids and teach them religion, life is "guaranteed" perfect. And now we see the Bates kids like normal people "struggle" with failed courtships, not being able to get pregnant in Michaela's case, Layla's heart condition etc. I feel like John -- not being raised by the Bates -- was especially mature in his "you're not special, why can't it happen to you" conclusion; I expect that Michaela and Brandon probably are as well bc they seem thoughtful. I wonder OTOH if Carlin, Trace, Nathan question their faith and/or blame G&K for "promising" this perfect life if they just played by the rules; I mean we know Zach blamed G&K and then found his own girl to marry and started setting up life his own way when he realized that G&K were full of $hit.

[ehall1052]

I really like John.  

[Sew Sumi]

Why couldn't Gil have cancelled his appointment, whatever it was? I can't believe that it was more important than his daughter having heart surgery. 

Gil and Kelly are horrible.

[cereality]

3 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

Why couldn't Gil have cancelled his appointment, whatever it was? I can't believe that it was more important than his daughter having heart surgery. 

Gil and Kelly are horrible.

The more we see of G&K the more unimpressed I am. Seems that they are only interested in kids when they're young enough to be carried around -- so up until age 3 -- then again when it's courtship and wedding time and then again for the girls when it's time to push out at least the first kid.

Alyssa was only 24 when the cardiac issues started. I realize that's over 18 but for many people you're still pretty young, just starting out in life, and kind of reliant on your parents even if for advice and emotional support -- esp the people who are still in med/law/grad school at that age. It's different bc she DOES have a husband and has 3 kids so she is more "independent" than someone who has been in school for years but that doesn't mean that she can't use additional support beyond her husband. I mean 50-55 year old parents can't step up for a 24 year old kid? It's not like they're 80+ and it's hard for them to travel, so their 50+ year old "child" has to deal with it.

I mean it's not like these people have any kinds of jobs, nor do they really raise the younger kids. G&K had to fly home same day -- why exactly? At the time Alyssa's surgery happened, Carlin and Katie were home -- they could've made sure the kids who are Jackson and younger were fed. If they couldn't, guess what 13 year old Addallee along with Ellie and Callie could've fed Jeb/Jud as well as teenage Jackson/Isiah/Warden. Or Jackson/Law etc. could've stepped up and just ordered pizza nightly. Hell let Michaela know and she'll bring over a few huge casseroles and take over Kelly's house for a week in addition to going to school.

Thank goodness Alyssa is married and to a guy like John -- may not be the most educated but he's been with her every step of they way. I'd venture to guess Chad, Brandon, and Kelton are the same -- they adore their wives and would be worried sick and would do whatever they needed to do, whether G&K showed up or not. Evan and Bobby -- eh I'm sure they'd step up too -- but IDK they seem more like complainers; when Carlin had to go to the hospital and then Layla was at the children's hospital and G&K were in California and for whatever reason Carlin's 76 siblings didn't step in, Evan was quick to call his parents and brother to drive over from Nashville.

[65mickey]

If Alyssa were my daughter nothing would have been more important than staying at the hospital until she was discharged and then hanging around for a few more days while staying in a nearby hotel and helping out with the kids and meals. I wold have been worried sick about her. Whatever Gil had going on must have been pretty damn important and we all know that Kelly can't be away from him for even a day. Mystifying how they can haul ass back to Tennessee while their daughter was going through a rough period of recovery and was so afraid. I cant imagine after going through this either John or Alyssa would entertain for long the idea of having another child. 

[3 is enough]

Gil and Kelly are horrible excuses for parents.  Their kids are just numbers to them.  

I could never just take off after a child of mine had a major procedure.  It is just inconceivable to me.  I do think one reason Kelly did not stick around is that she just couldn't handle looking after 3 small children and running the house while Alyssa recovered.  She apparently never did much with her own kids and once Michaela was old enough to take over she did even less.

Makes the gushing about how they are such wonderful parents even more baffling.  

I'm sure Alyssa will still post a tribute to Gil tomorrow.  One that he definitely does not deserve.

Edited June 20, 2020 by 3 is enough

[BitterApple]

I haven't had a chance to watch the video, but reading the comments above, I am positively gobsmacked. Kelly makes such a huge friggin deal about everyone pitching in for stupid parties and "I Love You" day gatherings, but can't stay and help the daughter having heart surgery?!

What obligations can she and Gil possibly have that override supporting Alyssa? They've got six adult married children back in Tennessee. Divide the younger kids up and send them to their houses for a few days. 

It's really odd how these people are all about family when it comes to the frivolous, superficial stuff but when there's a serious crisis, everyone disappears.

[lookeyloo]

I don't like ever giving these folks the benefit of any doubt, but, it is even a bit possible that the girls are more comfortable with John's family, that Kelly leaves more of a mess than she started with, is too loud, too nosy, etc. and this is a face saving way of presenting it.  I loved my mother but when she came to "help" with my second baby I ended up sending her home because she caused more work than she was worth, bless her heart, rest in peace.

[cereality]

I'm positive the girls are more comfortable with John's side of the family, after all they live on the same street and see them daily not merely 6x/yr. But I know after the 2nd surgery, they sent the girls to stay with his parents for a week even though Alyssa only gets kept in the hospital for a day or 2 after this. Given the incisions that are made in both legs, the neck etc. it's just hard/painful for her to move which isn't conducive to taking care of young kids or really even having them home when a 1 yr old will insist on jumping on mommy or only mommy can give her dinner or whatever. So then John can focus on Alyssa with his parents/siblings focusing on the kids.

G&K staying wouldn't have been for the grandkids, it would have been for THEIR kid. But I think @3 is enough is right. K knows if she stays, she will be expected to help J&A. They can't just sit in the hotel all day and then stop by to "fellowship." As much difficulty as Alyssa had with pain and even moving after the first surgery that she had John rolling her over in bed -- that means G&K would be left to deal with EVERYTHING else. As in figure out all the meals -- grocery shop for them (though I guess Alyssa could have stocked up in advance), make meals, serve them, and clean up the kitchen after and do that 3 times/day for days on end. IDK how much of that Kelly did in her own house once Michaela was like age 10 or so. I mean sure we do see her in the kitchen on UPTv lamenting how she's lost all her help now that the girls went to college/married so now she has the boys helping but IDK I think it's for cameras only.

I have no doubt that 14 year old Addallee does a lot of the day to day cooking. I mean even at Carlin's (I think?) baby shower she was like -- omg where is Michaela the subs I ordered didn't arrive, what do I do?? She was throwing a party but couldn't handle a takeout order let alone cooking for her daughter for a week. Frankly if she wanted to stay she would've been better off bringing Addallee or Michaela or someone to actually do the work.

I think they probably just decided that it was "easier" to be there on the surgery day. After all no one expects anyone to do anything that day -- it was like 10+ hrs that they sat around during the surgery + while Alyssa was in recovery. Then they could see her, satisfy themselves that she's fine, take pics (bc they did post hospital pics), and leave.

G&K are pretty worthless. It really is all about the meaningless wedding showers, coordinating with boyfriends re over the top courtship and engagement asks, baby showers, gender reveals, I Love You day, etc. The "fun" stuff. Not that K even does the work for that -- oh Erin LOVES to decorate, Michaela LOVES to cook or at least coordinate the food -- while K stands there and takes credit and social media pics. And then when it's something tough like Alyssa's surgery, Carlin's kid's heart issue, Michaela's inability to get pregnant it's -- oh well pray about it.

And no doubt at some level she's blaming some of the them bc of how they are "choosing" to live -- i.e. well Alyssa has gone too far wearing tank tops/pants; Carlin conceived the baby on a honeymoon where she was in shorts/tank tops with a husband in a tank top and shorts (bc while the Bates boys wear shorts now I think fundies are against it overall); Michalea has been honest re wavering in her faith when they weren't getting pregnant. You know Kelly is like -- well they need to be more Godly, what did they think would happen when they started living this way?? I feel like the only empathy we've seen for her is for Erin's miscarriages and I imagine that's bc Erin is a mini Kelly + they don't want to piss of Erin's husband whose their bitch + Erin's problem was figured out so they were able to say -- see she kept in faith and God sent the answer to Dr. Vick and now there's a baby yearly. I feel like if Erin had remained childless like Michaela, Kelly would def have pulled away and viewed her as "less than" and someone who just wasn't living life "right."

Edited June 20, 2020 by cereality

[farmgal4]

On 6/19/2020 at 5:48 PM, Sew Sumi said:

Why couldn't Gil have cancelled his appointment, whatever it was? I can't believe that it was more important than his daughter having heart surgery. 

Gil and Kelly are horrible.

Amen!

On 6/19/2020 at 5:37 PM, ehall1052 said:

I really like John.  

I do too.  From what I can tell, he’s a stellar husband and father and just an all-around great guy.  It’s obvious that he worships the ground Alyssa walks on.  She married up IMO.

[farmgal4]

On 6/16/2020 at 7:33 PM, cereality said:

I assume the problem for which she had 2 ablations is solved since the last one was around Aug-Sept and it's been more than 6 mos. She did say in a recent episode though that she was having a-fib or a similar heart rate issue but that was more likely to be solved with medication.

And on a different note -- damn daddy daughter dates are a special kind of creepy. Watched the one with John and Allie for her 5th birthday. They acted like it was a prom. With Alyssa having her pick out dresses, jewelry and shoes the day before and telling a freaking FIVE year old that she couldn't wear certain tacky crappy 5 year old jewelry bc it doesn't match her dress!? Uh she's FIVE who cares if she wears a blue bracelet with a pink dress. Meanwhile she's curling the kid's hair as John is steam ironing his shirt in the kitchen and tying a tie and putting on a full suit. I mean we wouldn't want to go wrinkled or open collar on a date with a FIVE year old DAUGHTER. And then Alyssa sat lamenting about how for her 4th bday, Alyssa was in the hospital, but the kid and John STILL went on a date (despite John saying in the prior video how stressed and tired he had been with no sleep leading up to the surgery) that day and wait for it -- she had a friend come over and get her dressed and curl her hair!?

And then this "date" -- the only food choices were fast food in the car in part bc of Covid in part bc she's 5 so I hardly think you're taking her to a Michelin star restaurant even if one is open. So like a 5 yr old she chose -- smoothies from McDs, food from Chick Fil A, topped off with a shake from Chick Fil A. 

And then they go park in an empty parking lot facing a "lake" (looked like one of those Florida retention ponds they have all over the place) climbed into the back of the SUV to what can only be described as a make out spot -- bc Alyssa wanted it to look special so she put in pillows and blankets -- to eat. And like a 5 yr old she farted, giggled uncontrollably, and as John sat there and explained the significance of a Pandora bracelet which will allow him to add a charm yearly, she practically broke the bracelet as she yanked it in every which direction to pull it out of its packaging. And then they played hide and seek, which wasn't weird at all to do beside an abandoned parking lot where anyone can drive by and scoop up your child as you're not watching or the kid can fall into the retention pond and then daddy is seeking said kid running in a suit, tie and dress shoes in 90 degree Orlando weather in May.

What is wrong with these people?? I realize they (or at least Alyssa) are so under exposed they wouldn't know it but climbing into the back seat of the car with it being decked out to make it "special" -- yeah there's undertones of high school kids doing that when they want to make out or go all the way but can't risk doing it at home bc they'd be caught. What would be so wrong with -- hey kid it's your birthday, let's go get food just you and me -- and make that a yearly tradition if you want her to remember something she did with daddy. And then you take her out wearing jeans and a t shirt and flip flops or whatever your normally wear. And then you eat in the car this yr or in a restaurant in following years -- and talk about whatever the kid wants to talk about without trying to get deep and meaningful!?

And if this is what "dates" look like with John who is relatively normal as far as fundies and attention whores go -- can't wait to see what Evan's dates will be like in 3-4 years.

I watched the video leading up to the father/daughter date but haven’t watched the actual date video yet.  Who filmed/videoed the date?  Was it being filmed for the show?  If so, that may explain at lot.

[3 is enough]

Alyssa had an Instagram post yesterday where she was so excited that Allie dressed herself and her two sisters.  She said it was a big proud "mom moment" and that all her hard work has paid off.

I know I may be reading too much into this but I got serious sister mom in training vibes from this post.  If Allie did it on her own with no prompting that is great.  But if it is going to be expected of her every day going forward that's not so great.  Alyssa only has 3 kids, and no 5 year old should be expected to have that kind of daily responsibility.  Make your bed, put your dirty clothes in the hamper, and maybe help set/clear the table? Sure.  I'm all for chores for kids.  But being responsible for your siblings at age 5?  Just no.

Edited July 3, 2020 by 3 is enough

[zenme]

I agree. I hope it was that her 5 year was expressing care for her sisters in the form of helping them, and not a little mom in training moment. 

[cereality]

Was gonna make the same comment. While A&J are marginally better than the Bates clan in some ways, I’ve always had the vibe that they are seriously training their girls to be married at 19 and mommies at 20 just like Alyssa was and since Allie is oldest, the focus is on training her right now while Lexi and Zoey get to enjoy being little girls right now at 2-3 yrs old. If it was just Alyssa I’d be more inclined to blow it off bc honestly what has she ever seen in her home besides girls cooking, cleaning and being responsible for siblings by like age 7 and then being praised just for that — not for being smart at science or good at soccer or whatever. But I feel like they’re 100% raising their girls this way bc John does it too. He definitely has made posts praising Allie for being so helpful around the house and taking care of her sisters. Yeah John bc a girl should have no other interests besides helping mommy dry dishes or fold laundry. If this was just an effed up Bates thing I feel like A would go on about helpfulness while J like a regular dad would talk about how she’s spunky or smart or can out run or out-jump rope him or whatever.

[floridamom]

Alyssa should have elaborated on what she meant by saying that all of her hard work has paid off. Did she purposely 'train' her daughter to know how to dress herself AND her little sisters because that was going to be her new responsibility? If so, this is awful. Her daughters should be in pre-school/nursery for a few hours each day learning how to play and socialize with other. I understand we are in the middle of COVID right now but this has never been the mindset of these people. Yes, individual family values should come from the home but those values must accompany us out in the real world. To shelter the children from it doesn't ever give them a chance to exercise it. How is it that Alyssa's father-in-law owns so many homes on one street? Are they trying to build their own Webster compound? Alyssa is no more on her own if she were to have a cabin on her parents' property in Tennessee.