S03.E06: Kiss and Tell

[DollyMamaB]

Jax is such a tool.  First of all, comparing himself to the character in The Green Mile is HYSTERICAL.  He's a male Stassi, a $hit stirrer that, if he isn't happy, he doesn't want anyone else to be happy.  Kristen is just......I don't even know.......whacked.  She really comes across as one of those murder/suicide people.

[Shelby]

Jax is such a tool. First of all, comparing himself to the character in The Green Mile is HYSTERICAL. He's a male Stassi, a $hit stirrer that, if he isn't happy, he doesn't want anyone else to be happy. Kristen is just......I don't even know.......whacked. She really comes across as one of those murder/suicide people.

Dxmn!! How I would love a "very special episode" of VPR with a murder/suicide!

[ghoulina]

Okay, I have to start out by saying that I normally FF intros on all my reality shows. They are pointless and annoying and I only have so much TV time before this bedraggled mama passes out. But not this show. The intro is just so fucking hilarious. And I seem to find something new to snark on every single time. This week, I felt like I was playing Sesame Street's "One of These Things Doesn't Belong" game - and it's Arianna! All the other cast members (haha, I use that term loosely) are giving super serious mactor faces. Or, if they are smiling, it's a very sly, haughty grin. But this broad is beaming from ear to ear, like she's a character at Disney. Sorry, Golden Nugget, but you just can't hang. 

 

On another shallow note - Kristen and the low cut top. No, honey, just no. 

 

How hysterical was Jax in the therapy session? Oh man, I was dying!!! Yea, he's just sitting around watching Green Mile and bawling his eyes out, because he can so relate to MCD's character. What? They're both angels who want to help people and hate seeing people in pain. Bahahahahahaha! He totally told that story to try and turn his therapist on - "Oh, he's such a manly guy with a sensitive side". Spare me. 

 

No, really, does Jax think that exposing people's relationship problems and stirring up all kinds of drama is the same as Green Mile dude healing people's physical ailments??? He is beyond deluded. If anything, he does it for purely selfish reasons - so he's not the only scumbag in the room. 

 

I just have to wonder, though, is cheating contagious? Is it something in the water at SUR? Is it a job requirement to be of low moral character? How DID all these bottom dwellers find each other???

 

I was nodding out a lot by the end, but it seemed Schwartz is claiming he did not have sex with the one girl, but DID make out with the other? I never know what to believe with these people, but if I were Tequila Katie, I'd have already kicked him to the curb for not backing me up with Jax. I really don't get what the two Toms see in him. As much as I dislike Kristen, she does have a point. Both she AND Jax fucked people over and betrayed their loved ones, but she has been exiled and the dudes are just kicking it with Jax like it's no big deal. So weird to me. I find Jax to be the ugliest dude on this show, and he's also the oldest - and, frankly, just a pathetic excuse for a human being. Do the two Toms idolize him? What the fuck is wrong with these people? 

[Portae]

Schwartz obviously slept with the girl in Vegas. That's why he never gets mad at Jax for disrespecting Katie: he disrespects Katie himself by cheating on her, and his friends are all complicit.

Re. Jax and his drug use. Lisa strikes me as the type to repeat something that she's only heard and present it as fact. I wouldn't be surprised if she had heard that from one of her servers rather than actually having any firsthand knowledge.

[HunterHunted]

This is the same Jax who fucked Kristen, the girlfriend of his best friend at that time, Tom Sandoval.

 

This is the same Jax who now maintains he did Tom Sandoval a favor by fucking Kristen.

 

Jax has no morals, no scruples, no common sense, and no loyalty to any living creature on the face of the earth.

 

Of course he wouldn't give two shits if it hurt Tom Schwartz or not.  Hell, I'm surprised he hasn't tried to fuck Katie just to prove to Schwartz how terrible she is.

My bad. I was trying to ascribe real human type person emotions and motivations to horny disgusting monster person Jax. I should have remembered that his only motivation is to drinking, pillaging, and having sex.

[mjstrick]

*dies*  Very Fredrik in this photo! He looked more like Jax in the WWHL photo.

 

DId anyone else get the impression that Schwartz did sexually cheat based on his conversation with Jax the morning after the confrontation? It sounded like Schwartz was upset because Jax openend his mouth more than anything else. It could explain why Schwartz isn't more pissed at Jax. To be honest, I doubt Katie would ever dump Schwartz. She seems like the type that would stay with him and make his life as miserable as possible. Kind of like Kristin.

 

I definitely get the same feeling about Schwartz cheating and the reason he's not more mad at Jax.  Had a similar thing happen to me-a trashy gross girl at our company told anyone who would listen that my fiance was texting/flirting/trying to get her in bed, even going so far as to send a picture of his penis.  He of course denied the hell out of most of it, but I have never gotten over it and our relationship totally changed b/c he wasn't even mad at her.  I mean WTF?   People are idiots.

 

I said last week that cheating or not, if I were Katie, I would kick his ass to the curb for the disrespect alone.  The way he lets Jax talk to her is criminal. 

 

I totally believe these people do coke on the regular.  I imagine most if not all of these Vegas incidents are happening on major coke/alcohol/ecstasy benders.

[demarti]

I have to keep reminding myself that the 3 stooges are all well into their 30's. Very sad cause they act like 21 year olds. And they are going absolutely nowhere with their lives. Well, they are stars on this show so I guess there's that..................

[TattleTeeny]

This episode should've been titled "50 Gay Mayors"  and I might play a drinking game on rewatch.

 

I just kept thinking of that song: "The old gay mayor ain't what he used to be…"

 

Okay, I have to start out by saying that I normally FF intros on all my reality shows. They are pointless and annoying and I only have so much TV time before this bedraggled mama passes out. But not this show.

 

For some weirdo reason, I dig the intro to this show too--and the song! I did prefer the other one though, in which Krisen is tossing the rose petals. I have no idea why.

 

In other news, Stassi still doesn't bother me one bit; sometimes I wonder if Katie isn't a bit more intelligent than the others on the show (I'm basing this on the words she uses when she speaks, and not on the whiny way she speaks or on these junior-high antics); and Tom Schwartz reminds me of the actor who plays Toby on Pretty Little Liars. And Kristen reminds me of Danielle Staub.

 

Also, Todd Chrisley makes me laugh.

Edited December 9, 2014 by TattleTeeny

[Tiffers4885]

It is interesting that Kristin is accused of wanting to "take Katie down" when on the last season of RHOC Terry Dubrow was accused of wanting to "take the Beadors down." These shows aren't scripted at all......... 

[tvfanatic13]

I am coming here because you guys always pull through-- there was one line I think Jax said (could have been Stassi) that I couldn't stop laughing at and for the life of me I don't remember. It was one or two words. Can anyone help a sister out??

[ghoulina]

For some weirdo reason, I did the intro to this show too--and the song! I did prefer the other one though, in which Krisen is tossing the rose petals. I have no idea why.

 

I loved that one too! Because it was so random. I mean, who is just wildly throwing rose petals around a restaurant, like a drunken, overgrown flower girl??? I do love all the pouring of drinks....nowhere near the glasses, but damn that rose petal shit was hilarious. 

Edited December 9, 2014 by ghoulina

[TattleTeeny]

It is interesting that Kristin is accused of wanting to "take Katie down" when on the last season of RHOC Terry Dubrow was accused of wanting to "take the Beadors down." These shows aren't scripted at all.........

 

But that's a fairly common phrase. Not that I doubt that there's scripting going on, but even if there weren't, it's completely plausible that lots of people know this term. Of course, normal functioning adults in the real world, who simply avoid people they hate, probably don't have much need to use it.

 

I loved that one too! Because it was so random. I mean, who is just wildly throwing rose petals around a restaurant, like a drunken, overgrown flower girl??? I do love all the pouring of drinks....nowhere near the glasses, but damn that rose petal shit was hilarious.

 

You know, if more people were familiar with this show, that intro would be a fabulous Halloween costume with a few friends! Everyone in matching tiny little server dresses tossing flowers in slow motion all over the party, haha! Speaking of which, I love a tiny skirt but, as a former waitress, I cannot fathom these uniforms of theirs! Holy hell, man.

Edited December 9, 2014 by TattleTeeny

[ghoulina]

You know, if more people were familiar with this show, that intro would be a fabulous Halloween costume with a few friends! Everyone in matching tiny little server dresses tossing flowers in slow motion all over the party, haha! Speaking of which, I love a tiny skirt but, as a former waitress, I cannot fathom these uniforms of theirs! Holy hell, man.

 

Oh my gosh, we need a Previously Halloween party, where we all come dressed as Vanderpump Rules characters. I call dibs on the chunky sweater! Complete with globs of jelly donut on it (no, no, it's not blood). I hope no one minds if I bend over to tie my shoes.....

 

 

Seriously, those uniforms....I have never understood them. They ARE super short, which I guess means they're going for sexy. But they're so limp and shapeless. And the design? It's like a toddler's attempt at tie-dye or something. I just do not understand how Lisa thinks they are appealing. 

[goofygirl]

So... Another boring episode!  I could care less about the whole "You cheated" drama. Good Lord.  This is the only story line any of these idiots can come up with? Seriously, enough already.  STILL can't figure out why stASSi is even ON this show anymore.  Someone upthread said it better: If you quit your job, you may still talk to your work friends from there, but move along already.  The fact that ALL she does is hang around SUR to get FREE BOOZE! FREE FOOD! is just nuts.  Also have had it with the dumbass Christina.  She should go away too.

The 50 gay mayor thing was just weird, imho.  I know that Houston has a gay mayor (woman) but did we see her at vanderPUMP? Nope.  Is it just gay MEN Lisa likes?

[demarti]

Kristin= Olive Oil !! Who ever said that upthread omg she is the exact replica of Popeye's olive oil!  Love it.  And I still say Stassi looks like Chelsea Clinton. 

[TattleTeeny]

Seriously, those uniforms....I have never understood them. They ARE super short, which I guess means they're going for sexy. But they're so limp and shapeless. And the design? It's like a toddler's attempt at tie-dye or something. I just do not understand how Lisa thinks they are appealing.

 

And these chicks don't seem to do the dark tights thing, which I always do with my "inappropriate" skirts and dresses.

[JenE4]

I never thought I'd say this, but Stassi and Katie actually have a vaid point. Why ARE the Toms friends with Jax?! I mean, they seem to be pretty invested in this Bro Code to just brush things off, but eventually you'd think this manipulative/meddling/lying/cheating crap would outweigh whatever "good" qualities they apparently see in him. (Any viewers want to try to take a stab on what those "good" qualities might be? [shrug]) At Pump, when Schwartz was telling Sandoval about what Jax said to Katie, you could see by the expression on Sandoval's face that the wheels were turning that this f'er screwed them BOTH over with their girls (literally in Sandoval's case), so when Jax walked up to them, I thought FOR SURE that the Toms were going to let him have it, but it was just like "That wasn't very nice, dude, but let's take off our shirts and flex our muscles at each other in these Pump shirts."

[Ubiquitous]

For some weirdo reason, I dig the intro to this show too--and the song! I did prefer the other one though, in which Krisen is tossing the rose petals. I have no idea why.Also, Todd Chrisley makes me laugh.

I always laughed at FI Tom doing the fancy bottle toss thing and the camera cutting away just as he misses it... now, it's not even that much of the bottle toss that they show.

[copacabana]

Cheating cheating cheating --- zzzzzz.  

 

Lisa and yet another Zsa Zsa foto shoot with The Sex Monster --- zzzzz.

 

The menfolk acting like fools -- check.  The ladies acting like fools -- check check. 

 

More Pump views.   Pump looks like a heavy-ass chandelier showroom.  The garden is pretty so there is that.  Can't imagine what went into  putting it together. 

 

demarti equating Kristin with Olive Oil -- pure genius and best part of the entire episode.

 

Stassi -- fermez la bouche!

 

I really, really don't believe that ANY of these folks are truly shagging each other on this show. 

[mmk1987]

I bet all of them do coke and m on the regular. Kind of surprised lisa would say it tho.

[psychoticstate]

Oh my gosh, we need a Previously Halloween party, where we all come dressed as Vanderpump Rules characters. I call dibs on the chunky sweater! Complete with globs of jelly donut on it (no, no, it's not blood). I hope no one minds if I bend over to tie my shoes.....

 

 

I'm not a dude but I do have a flat iron, foundation and a beanie.  FI here I come.

 

Or maybe I'll just paint myself orange, grab some tequila and start crying.  Before I motorboat some random guys, of course.

 

There's always not washing my hair for a few days, puffing on a cigarette and then taking a selfie near a Beemer.

 

Or getting a big honking pair of black rimmed glasses, propping my foot on a pillow and then whining about my tooth.  All while performing "Good as Gold" of course.

 

So many options . . .

[ghoulina]

The 50 gay mayor thing was just weird, imho.  I know that Houston has a gay mayor (woman) but did we see her at vanderPUMP? Nope.  Is it just gay MEN Lisa likes?

 

LOL, I know. I was thinking, "Mayor of WHAT, exactly?"

[Shelby]

I'm not a dude but I do have a flat iron, foundation and a beanie. FI here I come.

Or maybe I'll just paint myself orange, grab some tequila and start crying. Before I motorboat some random guys, of course.

There's always not washing my hair for a few days, puffing on a cigarette and then taking a selfie near a Beemer.

Or getting a big honking pair of black rimmed glasses, propping my foot on a pillow and then whining about my tooth. All while performing "Good as Gold" of course.

So many options . . .

I was going to nominate you for the bikini car wash!

[JenE4]

I want to be one of the ancillary characters--like Johnny Fabulous or whatever the hell that designer's name is that's friends with Lisa and designed the pink gay pride parade float, amongst other things. Although I guess the easiest costume would just be to get a pink short-sleeved button-down, some silver fabric paint and go as random Pump employee--bonus points if you bring a tray and go as a tray passer. Or, better yet, go for some of the inside jokes: A guy just attaches a toy boat to his pants...you get the drift.

Edited December 9, 2014 by JenE4

[ghoulina]

Someone HAS to go as Lauralee. Lauraleigh? Loralee? However you spell her name, that crazy bitch needs to be represented!

[Luckylondon]

Laura-Leigh.

I saw her name in the opening credits of a horror movie with Amber Heard in a psychiatric hospital. Then I had to watch the movie to see her in it. I think the timing was before Vanderpump Rules.

Her name is Laura-Leigh. Like Madonna or Cher, but with a hyphen. Yep.

[doppleganger]

Jax admitted to cocaine use when he was on WWHL recently with Lisa Edelstein. 

[Ubiquitous]

Laura-Leigh.

I saw her name in the opening credits of a horror movie with Amber Heard in a psychiatric hospital.

Laura-Leigh was the one in the psychiatric hospital, right? ;-)

 

 

Jax is such a tool.  First of all, comparing himself to the character in The Green Mile is HYSTERICAL. 

So was the other Tom comparing himself to Carrie getting the pig-blood treatment at SUR. Lisa Vanderbucks must have have pretty desperate to hire this chucklefuck.

[Peper81]

Wait a minute. In the preview for the next episode, is the actress that used to play Heather on Y&R interviewing for a job at SUR?

.

I caught that too and was coming here to see if anyone else noticed. I'm quite shocked by her appearance on this show. I can't believe it's come down to this for her.

[ihartcoffee]

Jax is such a tool.  First of all, comparing himself to the character in The Green Mile is HYSTERICAL.  He's a male Stassi, a $hit stirrer that, if he isn't happy, he doesn't want anyone else to be happy.  Kristen is just......I don't even know.......whacked.  She really comes across as one of those murder/suicide people.

Is that what he was alluding to with that convoluted story? Surely he jests.  

 

Jax is douchy but he becomes off the charts douchy when he's acting the way he has the last two episodes.  The show is going to his head and he apparently fancies himself a good catch.  Lucky for him there are plenty of gullible women out there.  

 

I kind of see where Kristen is coming from about her being an outcast when they are just as bad.  Thing is, Kristen's Crazy is showing real bad these days and no one wants to be around when she goes postal.  

 

Stassi's unexplained and unwanted presence continues to annoy....

[OnceSane]

Damn, I never got into Y&R.

And I call dibs on Tequila Katie. I love tequila and I have a lot of orange clothes (I'm not using her $5 fake tanner).

[Shelby]

Since I can't stand any of these freaks, and totally think that I'm better than them, I'll gain 30 lbs. and always have my mouth open and drop by the costume party briefly as Pandora. When I'm not working on my faux fashion blog.

[Luckylondon]

deleted post- I figured out the quote thing but it made a new separate post, so I deleted duplicate content.

*apologies for blunders as I figure out using Previously.tv on my phone.*

Edited December 10, 2014 by Luckylondon

[Brooke0707]

Jax reminds me of Ryan Philllipe's character in Cruel Intentions except he is a total idiot and no woman on earth would transform Jax into a decent person.

[ScoobieDoobs]

Jax's phony baloney therapist that wants to blow him desperately needs help with her eyebrows.  Man, she's plucked those fuckin' things till there's almost nothin' there.  WTF??

 

Stass doesn't wanna hang around losers?  Oh, come now.  Attitude readjustment quick, hun or you're off the show.  Nobody there but losers & we wouldn't have it any other way.  So go fuck off & hang with your douchey ghost boyfriend, Stass -- da one who looks like Jax's twin.  

 

And ya know what?  Who's da biggest fuckin' loser on this thing?  I'd say you are, Stass.  Who else would quit a job & then go back & hang there all the time & inject herself non-stop into all the continuing petty drama of former co-workers?  Who else would break up with a worthless loser & then start dating his look-alike?  Dat would be you, Stass.

Edited December 10, 2014 by ScoobieDoobs

[Stinger97]

Jax admitted to cocaine use when he was on WWHL recently with Lisa Edelstein. 

 

He most certainly did, which is why I didn't have a huge problem with Lisa spilling those beans on WWHL. Like, it's totally out of line for an employer to air their employee's dirty laundry like that, but it's Jax. And then he went on the show and admitted as much himself, and with a chuckle. And not like an embarrassed chuckle. It was like a full-on, "heh, yea, drugs." Long story short? Lisa was wrong to do what she did, but I still hate Jax so much that I'm totally fine with it. 

 

Although, upon rewatching the episode, I caught a classic Jax-ism: "I hate you more than life itself!" Like, what? How does that make any sense?

[Luckylondon]

Laura-Leigh was the one in the psychiatric hospital, right? ;-).

Bwahaaaaahaa! OGG, I had a big HA out loud... Like a chortle or a strange giggle, so thanks for that! :-)

Yes, Laura-Leigh was playing the part of a patient in a psychiatric hospital in a movie called "The Ward" that I was watching in my bedroom.

I typed it quick. Re-read it and laughed to myself, "does it sound like *I'm* in the psych hospital? Hmmm... it kind of could. Oh, who cares, it is fine, I don't have time to re-phrase it." Guess I should take time to re-work my sentence structure. ;-).

The irony is that I have worked in inpatient state psychiatric hospitals for a few years (not currently). I have done all different groups including some that involved watching film and discussion of it related to the group. However, this film is not the type of movie that anyone should be watching while staying inpatient in a psych hospital!

In the movie, Laura-Leigh was one of the 4 main characters-- I was mildly impressed--she wasn't bad, but I guess she didn't do too much. It was a B-level psychological thriller, not One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest. :-) hee.

Edited December 10, 2014 by Luckylondon

[fliptopbox]

Jax reminds me of Ryan Philllipe's character in Cruel Intentions except he is a total idiot and no woman on earth would transform Jax into a decent person.

That and Ryan Phllippe didn't constantly look unwashed and skeezy. He was a creep, but a classy one. Jax is anything but classy!

[Vivigirl10]

Stassi's completely useless, it's true, but it's her holier-than-thou attitude because she has a boyfriend that's absolutely pissing me off.  As though she is now the supreme most knowledgable about all things relationship related.....AND may cast her judgment upon you at any given time.  Get over yourself.

 

All these losers getting so riled up, sticking their plastic surgery enhanced noses in each other's business is tiresome and so played.  Maybe to Tom and Katie, motorboating crotches and kissing randoms in Vegas does not constitute cheating.  And it's well within their rights as a couple to determine that.  But noooooo......everyone has to shout from the rooftops that they must stand up to each other and break up immediately!!!  Who the hell cares? 

 

I'll join the chorus:  can't we find another way to generate drama?  And they can't replay the cheating theme again because the first time was just too darn good! 

[KnoxForPres]

This show is so fucking good. I wasted precious hours of my life marathoning it yesterday and have no regrets.

The intro is best ever. It's maybe the only intro I wish was longer! I do miss the petals.

Stassi, Jax, and I use the same sound for text messages. I'm somehow ok with that.

I think why this show works for me is there is no Screech. I tolerate everyone.

I wish these asshats would adhere to "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas". Not even a new location to the rinse and repeat did he or didn't he cheat saga! Pray tell, why would one remove shoes at a club? Motorboating a clothed dick seems more probable to me.

I really love seeing baby Gordo (I think that's his name) show up in scenes. The pup seems to be loved and taken care of. That brings me immense joy.

Apologies if it wasn't this episode, they all run together, but at the lunch where Schwartz ordered a chicken melt, hold the mayo, Jax was eating french fries at Mach five speed while ripping into Katie. He even got in quick dips of ketchup while implying she is a whore and liar.

I'm all caught up so you know exactly what the fuck I will be doing tomorrow night. Fuck yes, watching this! (That's my tribute to Katie and her f bomb drops in her talking heads).