Small Talk: Judge's Chambers

[Guest]

I have not been in court (except as a witness or an expert witness (congressional hearings which are a lot like court)

Ooooo! You testified at a congressional hearing?! Care to share? (It's ok if you want to keep it personal -- but the idea of it sounds awesome!)

[DoctorK]

Quote

Care to share?

Not as interesting as it may sound, just some house subcommittee stuff many years ago on manufacturing issues for guided munitions. A waste of time because it was mostly run by staffers who were more interested in making proxy speeches for their bosses than in actually learning anything factual. It was a good introduction to cynicism about political posturing.

[Guest]

A waste of time because it was mostly run by staffers who were more interested in making proxy speeches for their bosses than in actually learning anything factual.

Thanks, DoctorK! (Seems like even when their bosses show up to congressional hearings it's the same thing. Speechifying and then hoping the witness will trip up and confirm their bias. Bah.)

[AngelaHunter]

I have to butt in here, and say how much I love this forum and all of you. I know only one person who watches this show and for some unfathomable reason, she's not interested in spending hours ripping apart the litigants. Strange, I know.

Without this forum my head might explode or implode without an outlet. The icing on the cake is the hysterical laughter I get from reading the postings here. Sublime they are!

Just a note of appreciation for the snark!

[Guest]

I know only one person who watches this show

I don't know anyone who watches this show IRL! Thank GOD for all you guys!

[Quof]

I don't know anyone who ADMITS to watching the show.   

[AngelaHunter]

Honestly, every time I mention "Judge Judy" to anyone, I get either a smirk or an eyeroll. It's very frustrating, and makes me want to yell, "YOU'RE AN IDIOT!"

[Trini]

On 5/20/2016 at 8:40 PM, 27bored said:

Catering cases are tough. On one hand, I get that the caterer goes through the trouble of preparing food and setting up and taking it down and if the client is particular, it can put a dent in their profit just because something wasn't prepared the exact way they would've liked. On the other hand, $2500 is a lot of money to spend on food, so I understand people wanting it the way they want it. If the customer has expensive tastes on a shoestring budget, the right thing would be to just tell them what is feasible and what isn't and if that means you don't get their business, so be it. But don't just nod along to all of their requests and then throw some shit together because they're being unrealistic. It puts them in a bind because sometimes people don't know they're being unrealistic with their requests, and if they're setting up for an event, they might not be in the position to send it all back and make other arrangements.

Not exactly the same situation, but when I used to work at this specialty craft/gift shop, we had this one customer come in who spent like an hour+ trying to decide the exact right ribbon to tie balloons for whatever event she was planning. She went through at least four of us salespeople because she had a million questions/concerns about this VERY IMPORTANT ribbon purchase. Of course, none of us were really allowed to say "Lady, NOBODY is going to notice or care what the balloons are tied with! Or if it's a slightly different shade of . Buy something or leave."

Being a picky customer wasn't the problem, she was just making a simple thing way too complicated.

[Zahdii]

Re:  Removing Windows 10:  http://www.howtogeek.com/220723/how-to-uninstall-windows-10-and-downgrade-to-windows-7-or-8.1/

Quote

Open the Start menu and select Settings. Click the “Update & security” icon and select “Recovery.” You should see a “Go back to Windows 7” or “Go back to Windows 8.1” option. Click the Get started button to get rid of your Windows 10 install and restore your previous Windows install

(Must be done within a month of upgrading to Windows 10)

[27bored]

Hey, how do you guys feel about the Bill Cosby case? Now that he's officially going to court over the 2005 sexual assault allegation, it looks like the facts of the case are going to finally come out.

I'm stuck in the middle. I guess my feeling is this might be a legitimate complaint, but it seems like a bullshit case. I'm no Bill Cosby defender -- I think he's legitimately creepy and his various dalliances with women don't make him at all respectable in my view -- but this case seems like pretty thin gruel. The plaintiff, Andrea Constand, went to police a year after she was allegedly drugged and assaulted, the district attorney found there was insufficient evidence to charge him with a crime (in part because so much time had passed and she changed parts of her story), she sued him in civil court, he testified in a deposition and makes all kinds of incriminating admissions, they settle, then ten years later a new district attorney runs on a platform of getting him, and files charges days before the statute of limitations are up and after being notified by the former district attorney that he promised Cosby that he would never be charged in this case (which meant he couldn't plead his fifth amendment right against self-incrimination). To top it off: the witness is now working with the district attorney to build a case against him even after she signed a confidential settlement and the new district attorney is using that deposition against him.

It feels like this case is less about justice for Andrea Constand and more about vindication for his other accusers. I guess I get that to some extent, and while I feel for any woman who was victimized by Bill Cosby, at the end of the day, they made a choice to wait decades to bring forward their accusations. I think anyone who is accused of a crime should be allowed to defend themselves, but if you wait beyond the point where that's possible, I don't think it's fair to make someone defend themselves against ghost stories. They deserve their day in court for both sides to tell their sides, present their evidence, and then move on. But forgoing that for the sake of public persecution, because as a society we tend to incubate rape victims, even if their allegations are false, seems like the scales of justice are tipped too far in one direction.

I didn't feel one way or another about the bad publicity he got when these women came out. I doubted some of the stories but I figured this was Bill Cosby reaping what he's sown. He's been fucking around on his wife for decades and it finally caught up with him. So if he's not considered "America's Dad" anymore, oh well. He likely never was who he portrayed himself to be. But to say the man should be facing prison at 80 over something like this is overkill. I can nod along with a lot in favor of the accusers, but I haven't seen anything that made me think they have him dead-to-rights.

[Guest]

But to say the man should be facing prison at 80 over something like this is overkill.

I don't think so. The man has drugged and raped 60 women (that we know of!) over the course of a lifetime and was enabled to do so by his wife. Whether a court of law can prove this, I don't know. I hope they can. And I will shed no tears if they haul his rotting old rapist ass off to jail for the rest of his miserable fucking life.

I believe all of the women who came forward to tell their stories. If there are people today who don't believe them, imagine how even more "unbelievable" their stories would have seemed at the times when the crimes happened -- when Cosby was in his prime. America's dad? Mr. Picture Pages? Mr. I Spy? Mr Paragon of Moral Goodness? Mr Fat Albert? I don't blame them for not coming forward at the height of his fame. But I'm glad they finally did.

[AZChristian]

Ditto to everything you've said, Giant Misfit.  Those women have lived a life sentence of no action against their rapist, while he has done it scores of times.  If he's found guilty and it comes out in the press that he has some terminal illness and will be dead within a month, I'd want him to spend that month in prison.

No sympathy for him here.  He's a serial rapist.  Period.

Edited May 25, 2016 by AZChristian
Spelling error, and I have OCD.

[AuntiePam]

6 minutes ago, stewedsquash said:

I felt, and feel, that the man was in prison and had been for a long time, so he had already paid a price for doing what he did, no matter if my name was attached or not. It serves me no purpose to allow him into my life again. He can take it up with the Lord.

I am so sorry that happened to you.

It's true -- he paid a price, but is he fit to be released?  With that history? 

My daughter was assaulted when she was 14, by a stranger.  The family didn't handle it well.  She didn't want to report it and her dad and I went along.  She was so traumatized.  We lived in a big city and there was little chance that he'd ever be found.  Months later, she spotted the man at a big event downtown, found a cop, and said "That guy raped me." 

Because it was basically a he said-she said, and there was no physical evidence, the prosecuting attorney offered the guy a deal.  (He must have had some kind of prior record or he would have insisted on a trial.)  Anyway, the deal was made, my daughter didn't have to testify, and the man went to prison for two years.  Here's the kicker:  When he got out, he and his brother picked up a young woman, raped her and beat her to death.  He went back to prison but for all we know, he might be out again.

It's been 35 years, but my daughter still thinks that if she had testified, the guy might have been in prison longer, and that other girl might still be alive.

[Guest]

I'm so sorry to read both of your stories, stewedsquash and AuntiePam. You're both very strong women.

Edited May 25, 2016 by Guest

[27bored]

Me too. My heart goes out to both of you. I hate that this kind of thing has happened to so many people, and how it becomes people's secret shame. And unfortunately, it still does happen everyday. That's why I don't judge people who don't come forward as if they're lying or must have wanted it or something like that.

I do want to make one clarification in regards to Giant Misfit. To be clear, if Cosby is guilty of what he's being accused (indecent sexual assault, I think is the name of the charge), then he should face the consequences, whatever they may be. What I'm saying is, to the extent that this is about vindicating the other accusers by trying to get him on the Andrea Constand complaint, this feels like overkill. Ultimately, I think it's important to be fair to both sides and say we don't know what he's guilty of doing. I think any woman who alleges to be a victim of sexual assault or rape should be taken seriously and her accusations should be investigated. But if victims wait beyond the period where it could even be established that they were with this person (beyond a fan photo or something), it doesn't mean they're lying, but it can't necessarily be held against the person who is the target of the accusation.

In Cosby's case, with all the accusations leveled against him, it's not likely that every accuser is lying. Given his admissions about Quaaludes and sleeping with other women and doing what he could to hide it from his wife, it does seem he had many illicit affairs and perhaps something questionable happened, even though he's denied the accusation of rape or slipping drugs on anyone. If those facts cause people not to support Cosby or want to work with him, so be it. I'm not appealing on behalf of Cosby's character because it appears he's bereft of it. But to send someone to jail, you have to make a (legal) case and I don't know if there is a legitimate one here. I just don't think you should sacrifice the efficacy of the judicial process for the sake of getting one man.

[Guest]

Quote

What I'm saying is, to the extent that this is about vindicating the other accusers by trying to get him on the Andrea Constand complaint, this feels like overkill.

 

I can see how you read it that way. Makes sense. But I'm near the area where the trial is being held (I just may have to pop in!) and somewhat familiar-ish with the politics involved. The previous DA, Bruce Castor (who Constand is suing for defamation of character*...GOOD!), didn't want to pursue charges ten years ago since he claimed there wasn't enough evidence to press charges and that Andrea would ultimately have a better chance of vindication by pursuing the matter civilly. (Which is total bullshit, but whatever.)  I'm sure there was also an element of him not being the one to prosecute Mr Jell-O since he was, at that time, one of Philadelphia's most prominent celebrities and no other women had yet to publicly speak out against him.  Fast forward...Castor got the boot (finally!) last year (or maybe it was the year prior?) and the new DA made it his priority to reexamine the case in light of the revelations of Cosby's lifetime spent raping women. Ten years ago, those women didn't exist. Now, they do. And now, these women can testify as to Cosby's pattern of behavior and thereby bolster the state's criminal case against him. So I don't really see it as a matter of vindication for these women, so to speak, but more about getting criminal justice in the one case that might have actually been prosecutable (is that a word?) because that woman did come forward.

One other note, Cosby's lawyer is Brian McMonigle who is a garbage human. He is a fucking shark who every single guilty rich criminal in the Philadelphia area hires to get themselves acquitted.

 

Quote

But to send someone to jail, you have to make a (legal) case and I don't know if there is a legitimate one here. I just don't think you should sacrifice the efficacy of the judicial process for the sake of getting one man.

 

I don't know either. And look, I'm not gonna sit on that jury. If I did, I would listen to the evidence presented in court and consider if the state met its burden of proof beyond a reasonable doubt. I could see myself acquitting the man if the evidence presented *in that court of law* directed me to do so. We both know that being found legally "not guilty" is not the same thing as being actually not guilty. The man is a rapist. He raped a lot of women. Whether or not the state can prove it to a jury is another matter entirely. I hope they do because fuck that moralizing piece of shit. I hope he reminds a lot of guys in prison to pull their pants up. That'll go over well in the yard.

* "Constand accuses Castor of stating or implying in multiple news stories that Constand 'had been inconsistent in her accusations against Cosby' and that she 'exaggerated her claims in a lawsuit and therefore was not to be believed,' according to the allegations in her lawsuit."
http://www.phillymag.com/news/2015/10/26/bruce-castor-lawsuit-andrea-constand-bill-cosby/#9cEF4ayM2rW5UAGE.99

Edited May 25, 2016 by Guest

[AuntiePam]

Thoughtful post, 27bored.  He did admit in a deposition that he drugged at least one woman.  He was told that the deposition would be sealed, presumably forever, but it wasn't. 

I think this is one case where a "good" defense attorney can confuse things enough so that Cosby will either get off (no pun intended) or be found guilty of a lesser offense.  I think it depends on what exactly he's being charged with  -- what are the particular elements of the crime. 

Jurors expect rape victims to be bruised and battered and for the attackers to be strangers.  Women voluntarily going to the home of a celebrity and accepting drinks (and drugs) -- not typical.  Some jurors are going to blame the victims.

If O.J. can be found Not Guilty, there's hope for Cosby.  (I hope he rots in prison -- if he did it to even one woman, that's one too many.)

[sleekandchic]

Hope you don't mind...wanted to share.  My sweet beautiful pup passed away on Thursday morning.  She was 13 years old, a German Shepherd/Husky mix. Very beautiful.

I found her in a shelter 12 years ago. Still living with my parents and grams, all of us animal lovers and rescuers.  Puppy was nutso!  Chewed and ate everything in sight. 

Eleven years later, mama sleekandchic got married.  Nyc girl and Midwestern boy.  Compromised  and bought little house in Bergen county, NJ.  Short train ride to city.

Bucolic, pretty and calm.  Puppy loved it.  Eight months ago, puppy darling diagnosed with terminal heart disease.  Brought her to great vets, got her meds, which we fine-tuned and tweaked.  She was doing great.

Our routine was to let her in fenced-in backyard at around 630 am.  Prepared her meds and breakfast.   Took leisurely walk before leaving for work.  Had three water bowls in house, fresh wawa and ice cubes. Healthy treats.

Thursday morning, let her outside.  Ten minutes  later went outside and found her flopped over.  Tongue purple, eyes vacant.  Called vet, who guided me through mouth to mouth, but our sweet girl was gone.  So fast.

My husband is an er/trauma doc, works ridiculous hours. Puppy was my best friend and faithful companion during very lonely nights.

How I loved her. Can't explain our connection. How I loved her.

[Zahdii]

I'm sorry.  It's hard to lose a pet, especially when you've had them for so long.

[sleekandchic]

Thank you, Zahdii. xoxoxoxo 

[AZChristian]

sleekandchic, every one of us who have lost a "furbaby" have tears while reading your story.  I'm so sorry for your loss.

[SRTouch]

1 hour ago, sleekandchic said:

Hope you don't mind...wanted to share.  My sweet beautiful pup passed away on Thursday morning.  She was 13 years old, a German Shepherd/Husky mix. Very beautiful.

I found her in a shelter 12 years ago. Still living with my parents and grams, all of us animal lovers and rescuers.  Puppy was nutso!  Chewed and ate everything in sight. 

Eleven years later, mama sleekandchic got married.  Nyc girl and Midwestern boy.  Compromised  and bought little house in Bergen county, NJ.  Short train ride to city.

Bucolic, pretty and calm.  Puppy loved it.  Eight months ago, puppy darling diagnosed with terminal heart disease.  Brought her to great vets, got her meds, which we fine-tuned and tweaked.  She was doing great.

Our routine was to let her in fenced-in backyard at around 630 am.  Prepared her meds and breakfast.   Took leisurely walk before leaving for work.  Had three water bowls in house, fresh wawa and ice cubes. Healthy treats.

Thursday morning, let her outside.  Ten minutes  later went outside and found her flopped over.  Tongue purple, eyes vacant.  Called vet, who guided me through mouth to mouth, but our sweet girl was gone.  So fast.

My husband is an er/trauma doc, works ridiculous hours. Puppy was my best friend and faithful companion during very lonely nights.

How I loved her. Can't explain our connection. How I loved her.

No explanation necessary to pet lovers. Sorry for your loss, and may you find her waiting for you at the Bridge  https://rainbowsbridge.com/Poem.htm

[Guest]

So very sorry, sleekandchic. Losing a furry loved one is always so very difficult. 

[momtoall]

Hugs sleekandchic.  Losing a pet is losing a friend.  Sorry for your loss.

Edited May 28, 2016 by momtoall

[AngelaHunter]

Quote

How I loved her. Can't explain our connection. How I loved her.

Only people who have known and loved an animal understand. I adopted my last dog when she was about nine years old. I determined I would not become attached to her. I lost her last year, and of course by then I dearly loved her and still miss her.

So sorry you lost your friend.

[AuntiePam]

sleekandchic, more hugs coming. 

There's nothing better than a well-loved pet to share our lives with. 

[Guest]

I'm sorry for your loss sleekandchic.

Pets are the best.  When it gets rough emotionally please think of all the fun times you had with her.  She was a lucky gal and so were you to have each other.

[One Tough Cookie]

Auntie Pam and daughter and StewedSquash--healing hugs all around.

SleekandChic--I'm in Passaic County, we are somewhat neighbors! I know just how you feel.  Oscar had a stroke in my closet and the vet said there is no way a 15+ year old cat can survive with any quality of life. So I called my husband and said got home immediately.  He told his co-workers there was a death in the family, as he was in our eyes, and the three of us took him to the vets office and eased him over the bridge.  We cried like babies.

[DoctorK]

The first time I cried as an adult was when we had to put down our cat at 17 years of age, who we had since I was about four years old. He was a shelter cat, a big raunchy Tom (who we did get fixed). He was a neighborhood terror, he liked to taunt dogs (this was in the 50s and 60s) and lure them under a car where the dog was too big to maneuver and scratch the crap out of them, sending them running away bleeding and whining and he would walk out from under he car and sit and groom himself with an air of satisfaction. I loved that cat and his final months as his health deteriorated quickly was hard to watch, and putting him down was the only choice, but it really hurt. The other two times I cried as an adult were once when a relationship ended and when my mother died. Our relationships with our pets are strong beyond any reason.

Edited May 29, 2016 by DoctorK

[AuntiePam]

Maybe one reason for our strong feelings for animals is that they ask for so little and give us so much.  I cried harder and more often for Boomer the Lab than I did for my mom and my brother.  Weeks later, I'd be ironing or driving and I'd think about him and just break down.  I really, really, really hope Sadie outlives me. 

What I hope for everyone who's lost a pet is that they understand that adopting another -- and soon -- isn't disrespecting the memory of the one that was lost.  I know one guy who has refused to get another dog, years later.  "Nothing can replace Max!"  It seems almost selfish, to hold on to a memory rather than make a home for a dog who needs him.

[sleekandchic]

Thank you, thank you, thank you.  I can't tell you how much I appreciate your kindness and support, as well as your sharing stories of your own beloved pets.  Your pups and kitties live on in your memories and loving hearts. Your stories bolster me at the same time they break my heart.

I knew there were many animal lovers on the JJ forums, and that's why I felt safe to share here.

I'm having a terrible time.  I keep replaying Thursday morning in my head.  Her passing was so quick. Lots of people have told me that the quickness was a blessing for her, and, in my mind, I know they're right.  But I am  bereft. 

When she received her diagnosis of dilated cardiomyopathy eight months ago, the vets were honest.  No cure; six to 12 months to live.    But the meds would keep her comfortable and give her a good quality of life.  She responded so well; her appetite was great.  She was alert and strong and happy, aware of everything.  I guess I went into denial.

She really saved my life when we moved to the suburbs. I didn't like it here, but  she loved her backyard, the squirrels and bunnies, the mourning doves. She was large and in charge, you know?  She kept an eye on everyone.

Last spring, a bunny family made a nest, and I was scared they were too exposed.  But puppy kept watch!  Also, last spring, a flock of deer started to boldly take over the neighborhood.  Puppy was alarmed, but one young male won her heart. She was something with him, almost flirty.

She and I took leisurely walks, we made friends with neighbors.  She helped me adapt.

When we were home alone, my life revolved around her.  Exercise, feeding, nuzzling.  I think I need to move back home with my parents for a while cause I can't stand her loss.

I miss her presence, I grieve her absence.  I've lost pets before but this puppy is different. 

She was so smart.  I once brought her to a dog park (Judge judy alert!) where the pups liked to run and to circle a tree, barking and playing.  My doggie joined in at first, then kind of retreated and just observed.  When she rejoined, she ran in the OPPOSITE direction to get to the other dogs quickly for socializing.  The other owners and I could not stop laughing.

Thank you all so much. <3

[sleekandchic]

stewedsquash, Auntie Pam and Auntie Pam's daughter...My empathy, love and fury are with you.  Forgive my delay in responding.

Please take care of yourselves. xoxxo

[AngelaHunter]

Quote

Maybe one reason for our strong feelings for animals is that they ask for so little and give us so much. 

Our pets and our parents: The only two sources of unconditional love.

[Guest]

5 hours ago, AngelaHunter said:

Our pets and our parents: The only two sources of unconditional love.

Well, for me, there's only one source for that. That's why I have pets. :)

Edited May 30, 2016 by Guest

[AuntiePam]

Yeah, I think a lot of us have had more luck with pets than parents.  That unconditional love rarely survives babyhood.  ;-)

[AngelaHunter]

I'm of the opinion that parents - even when they may hate the choices you make or things you do and even if they don't like you - will love you unconditionally. Even Ted Bundy's mama still loved him!

Sleekandchic, I sent you a PM.

[Jamoche]

Gosh, when you need to borrow money ($40K, IIRC!) from your siblings for the custody battle over your kids, with the kid's grandparents, because you don't have a job, maybe the reason you lost the battle wasn't just because you ran out of borrowed money, but because you don't have a job! And probably other things as well, since custody typically goes to parents over grandparents.

And then your only plans for paying back the siblings is to wait for mom to die and use the proceeds from selling her house? Instead of listening to the siblings who tried to find jobs for you? Yeah, you're totally the right person to be raising those kids.

[momtoall]

So this happened .... My granddaughter hit a deer on her way home from work the other night.  Animal lover that she is, she was upset and freaked out by the accident because she hurt a deer.  However; her pain was eased a little bit when her insurance agent informed her that she would only have to pay half her deductible because the accident wasn't a collision with a car.  I had no I idea that this was possible.  I thought your deductible was your deductible no matter what.  Who knew?

[Quof]

It will go through her comprehensive, not collision, coverage. Perhaps she misunderstood the "half" bit, when it's really just "your comprehensive deductible is only half as much as your collision deductible." She will be charged whatever her comprehensive deductible is.  

Edited June 3, 2016 by Quof

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

Quote

I'm sorry for your loss sleekandchic.

I am SOO late and I apologize for not noticing this (I don't come over to this part often). Please accept my prayers and condolences on your sweet doggie. If you have a religious belief,  please know that there are animals in Heaven (not doggie heaven, but people heaven - they are mentioned in the Bible in many places and you will see your doggie again. 

I had to put down my beloved black pug about eight months ago. He had cancer of the prostate of all weird things and lasted about five months before he had an awful night and that morning he wouldn't eat or drink or take his meds. That little dog was my confidant, my best pal and my company when I went through my horrible separation and divorce, when my kids grew up and moved out and I cried so many tears into his fur over the years. (and he was a very bratty little dog too) I texted my supervisor and said I wasn't coming in that morning and she understood (having to put down her dog a few years back). I was blessed that my vet's office was super compassionate - they had a separate condolence room in the back away from the rest of the clinic with dimmed lights and a sofa and spiritual things and candles all around. They put in the IV and put him on a cuddly blanket and I was able to hold him when it happened and the last thing he heard was that I loved him. 

It doesn't matter how they go - slow or fast. They just become such a huge part of our lives and routines (I'm sitting here typing and my dog is sitting with her butt on my lap and her front legs hanging over the sofa lol) Hugs to you again, 

[AngelaHunter]

N/M - wrong forum. Duh.

Edited June 4, 2016 by AngelaHunter

[momtoall]

Quote

Perhaps she misunderstood the "half" bit, when it's really just "your comprehensive deductible is only half as much as your collision deductible."

Quof, how sweet of you to say the misunderstanding may have been on her part.  She, more than likely, knew exactly what he said, it's me who didn't "comprehend".  LOL!!

Edited June 4, 2016 by momtoall

[27bored]

If anyone ever wondered why I am the way I am, allow me to quote verbatim from the conversation I had with my mother this afternoon, and you will see that I get it honest:

Note 1: This is my biological mother

Note 2: This is (sadly) very common for us.

Note 3: We are (mostly) kidding.

[phone rings]

Me: Hello?

Mom: I had to curse out Sharon yesterday morning.

Me: Here we go.

Mom: She called me at 9:30 in the morning talking about, "girl, how do you make your bacon?"

Me: [laughs]

Mom: I said, "bitch, in the oven!"

Me: You really said that?

Mom: Yes! She called me waking me up asking about some damn bacon. She was like, "but yours is so crispy...I want mine to be crispy, too". I told her just put it in the oven, then turn the heat up high for like twenty minutes and it'll be crispy.

Me: Uh huh.

Mom: I told her don't call me early waking me up on Sunday. I could've been having a good dream, too. I could've been dreaming that Barack finally told Michelle about us.

Me: Oh please...

Mom: You know Barack is your stepdad.

Me: Right.

Mom: He's just waiting to get out of office so we can spend time together.

Me: He's not leaving Michelle for you.

Mom: I don't want him to! I already knew what it was when we first got together. And really it's Michelle's fault. She seems like she loud-talks him in front of company. That's why he's always calling me.

Me: Something is wrong with you. Obama is gay.

Mom: No he isn't!

Me: Yes he is. You saw he lit up the White House in rainbow colors when they announced the legalization of gay marriage. Straight dudes don't do that.

Mom: No, he was just celebrating equal rights.

Me: See? Straight dudes don't "celebrate equal rights". He's gay. He's gay and he goes with Cory Booker.

Mom: [laughs] Shut up! Ooh, you're so crazy.

Me: I believe him and Cory Booker go on double dates with Oprah and Gayle.

Mom: And Michelle and Steadman are at the house, on the phone, like, "this is some bullshit".

Me: Yep.

Mom: I feel bad for Steadman. He's the live-in boyfriend of one of the most powerful women in the world. You know at ANY point if he gets on Oprah's nerves she's kicking that ass out.

Me: Yeah. He looks like he doesn't have too many times not to answer his phone before his stuff is getting packed up.

Mom: [laughs] I know! And you notice Steadman doesn't go anywhere.

Me: Yeah. You haven't seen Steadman go through the drive-thru at In-n-Out.

Mom: Nope! If he tried, Oprah would be like, "where the hell do you think you're going?"

Me: "I wanted to go try In-n-Out"

Mom: "No, there isn't any In-n-Out...it's just IN! You're staying your ass IN!" [laughs]

Me: [laughs]

Mom: But don't think I missed the shade about my man. He is not gay.

Me: I know. I was playing. But I do think he carries hand cream and Michelle has to borrow it sometimes.

Mom: [laughs] Look, there is nothing wrong with a man who knows how to moisturize!
...

It went on from there, but that's the gist of the ignorance that exists between us.

[Guest]

Mom: He's just waiting to get out of office so we can spend time together.

Tell your mom he's mine. 

[Sarcastico]

Corey Booker.  Another one with a "girlfriend in California."  Uh-huh.

[augmentedfourth]

*sings* Ohh, I wish you could meet my girlfriend, my girlfriend who lives in Canada. She couldn't be sweeter, I wish you could meet her, my girlfriend who lives in Canada....

[Trini]

On 6/6/2016 at 9:51 PM, 27bored said:

Mom: [laughs] Look, there is nothing wrong with a man who knows how to moisturize!

Mom knows what she talking about! I'm not rubbing up against someone all ashy.  :-P

[bref]

Stewed squash, I think what the kids say now is "talking to him (or her)". "we started talking back in January." "i was talking to another guy and he got mad". "we had kind of broken up but we were still talking." I foolishly thought talking meant, you know, TALKING, but I have been informed by my millennial daughter that I am WRONG. I am an old fart and it drives me insane.

"I hear Corey and Barack were talking"

Edited June 12, 2016 by bref

[One Tough Cookie]

On ‎5‎/‎30‎/‎2016 at 9:50 AM, AngelaHunter said:

Our pets and our parents: The only two sources of unconditional love.

not for some of us, sadly.

Edited June 12, 2016 by One More Time

[teebax]

As promised, here's an update on what's been going on in the time I've been away from this forum. I apologize in advance for the length of it, but there's been a lot of stuff. So much stuff.

My niece and two nephews were removed from their home for suspicion of physical abuse by my brother-in-law and failure to protect by my sister. My niece was returned to the home a few days later, but my 13 year old and six year old nephews remain out of the home. The older one has too many medical and behavioral issues for me to handle, since I work and go to grad school. We have a relative willing to take him in, but the relative is in California, so he's in a group home until CA and AZ can get their acts together and move him. I did take in my six year old nephew, who is still living with me.

I don't have kids of my own, not because I'm gay but because I didn't want to have children. I wish more people who didn't think they'd be good parents would choose not to have kids, but that's a different discussion for a different time. I moved my parents into my house in December after my dad had a stroke. So I've gone from living in this nice-sized house with just myself and my dog to sharing it with my parents and my nephew and my dog. That's not a complaint; I'm blessed to be able to help them, and I get along well with all of them. But it's definitely a change!

The drama that could have me on JJ is that my foster kid's birth parents were ordered to help with his financial support and refuse to do so. The state of Arizona is generously providing me a whopping $30 a month to support this child, who is in the custody of the state since they're the ones who removed him. You read that correctly. They think I can support a six year old on $30 a month. As JJ likes to say, you can't feed a dog for that, much less a child. So the savings I'd responsibly worked to accumulate are being depleted while I support a child I didn't get the pleasure of making.

I changed careers this year and went into teaching. I love my new profession, but I took a huge pay cut. I wasn't anticipating supporting a child when I made that decision. And here's a newsflash most JJ litigants don't know: kids are expensive! That's partly why I chose not to have any! My sister and her hubby make four times what I do, but have sent me just $40 in the three months I've had their son. I've been dealing with the DCS case manager and begging her to do something to make them help with more support, but so far I've only been met with incompetence. It's a frustrating process.

One more thing, I have a new girlfriend. She's been amazing and came to me shortly after my nephew did. She works in social services for an agency that places foster kids in loving homes, so she has been a true godsend. Needless to say, I've been busy. I have missed you guys and am glad to see the snark level hasn't changed a bit. I hope to be able to visit a little more but if I'm not, I am sure you can understand why! Take care, everybody.