S03.E02: All Fired Up

[ScoobieDoobs]

Scoobs, hold my hand for a little trip down memory lane via TWOP.

When this little gem of a spin-off was first announced, I distinctly remember a poster over at TWOP who was researching all of these chucklefucks through their social media, IMDB, etc.

I am almost 100% certain one of the Tom's (not sure whether Sandoval or Schwartz) were listed somewhere (their modeling portio or some other random site) as being bisexual.  That poster even provided a link.

 

Ah, good times. eh?  Well, I don't remember that & I don't have the time or interest to investigate myself, but I'd certainly appreciate if anyone else does.  

 

Sheesh, FI certainly knows his way with a makeup brush.  Me thinks he also knows his way with the lube -- alone or otherwise.  As far as who could be bi, that could describe just about anyone there.  Not a big deal really.  I don't especially think this show's audience would care at all.  But I suspect Lisa (with her old school way of thinking) is terrified to highlight anyone on the show who isn't absolutely straight cuz she fears turning off the audience.  Me thinks she's merely showing her ancient age & limited mindset.

 

Btw, did anyone catch the tiny bit in between commercials, where Stass asks Katie bout having sex with Schwartz?  Katie babbled something, but I didn't catch it.  Did anyone hear what she said?  Sorry, but I just can't picture those 2 as a couple.

[ScoobieDoobs]

Man, FI's apartment looks like such a fuckin' disgusting dump.  They need to show it more.  Pretty please, producers?  Ariana really wants to hang in that shithole?  Wtf is up with that woman anyway?  

 

What exactly happened to Schemer?  Wasn't paying attention cuz have to say I automatically tune out her voice.  But I just luved watching those stinkeye looks Shay was giving Muppet.

 

Oh Andy Cohen, I hate your fuckin' social climbing, nasty, vicious, phony-ass guts -- and yet I'm hating you a bit (just a bit) less for bringing us this show.

Edited November 12, 2014 by ScoobieDoobs

[Persnickety1]

Ah, good times. eh?  Well, I don't remember that & I don't have the time or interest to investigate myself, but I'd certainly appreciate if anyone else does.  

 

Sheesh, FI certainly knows his way with a makeup brush.  Me thinks he also knows his way with the lube -- alone or otherwise.  As far as who could be bi, that could describe just about anyone there.  Not a big deal really.  I don't especially think this show's audience would care at all.  But I suspect Lisa (with her old school way of thinking) is terrified to highlight anyone on the show who isn't absolutely straight cuz she fears turning off the audience.  Me thinks she's merely showing her ancient age & limited mindset.

 

Btw, did anyone catch the tiny bit in between commercials, where Stass asks Katie bout having sex with Schwartz?  Katie babbled something, but I didn't catch it.  Did anyone hear what she said?  Sorry, but I just can't picture those 2 as a couple.

 

I wholeheartedly agree with that observation.

 

At the time it happened, I remember losing a little bit of respect for Lisa because the only reason I could imagine that was changed was at her suggestion (or, worse, her insistence).  I'm pretty damned sure that instruction wouldn't have come from Andy.  As vile as Andy may be, I can't imagine him dictating someone misrepresent their sexual orientation to appease a possible demographic.  Lisa, on the other hand, well...  

 

I also have to give Lisa the side-eye with her purported devotion to gay rights with the whole Pump scenario.  I dunno.  Maybe it's just me.  I think she's only an "advocate" when it serves to further line her and Ken's pockets.  

Edited November 12, 2014 by Persnickety1

[ScoobieDoobs]

And her involvement with the Gay Pride Parade is purely to promote her establishments.  Nothing wrong with that.  But stop with the bullshit, Lisa, that you care anything at all about the gay community -- except to make money off 'em.

 

So was Muppet vaporized?  Not really cuz he's showing up next week.  Where's he & Stass gonna fit in?

[ScoobieDoobs]

As vile as Andy may be, I can't imagine him dictating someone misrepresent their sexual orientation to appease a possible demographic.

 

No, no, I don't think he would do that, BUT I do think he's vicious enough to enjoy outing someone who isn't being honest about their sexuality.  To me, outing someone against their will is extremely cruel, but Andy Cohen has done far far worse.  Is he capable of it?  You betcha.

 

Actually, what I don't get is why Andy Cohen hasn't encouraged any interesting gay cast members on any of his shows.  There's just the buffoon idiot on that shitty Shahs crap or the supremely annoying Madison.  Sheesh, who wouldn't wanna kick either of those 2 in the teeth?  And of course there's various unmemorable hangers on, usually hair & makeup people.  Yawn.  Is it Lisa who's terrified to have at least one gay person on the show or is it the vile Andy Cohen himself?  Altho why he wouldn't is puzzling.  But I don't have much interest in trying to figure out someone so vile.

[demarti]

No, seriously, why is Jax such an idiot? And why does he keep getting girls' names tattooed on his body? 

 

In all seriousness, I just turned 40 and I look 10 years younger than Jax. He's gross. 

There is no way he is 35. Just like there is no way his real name is Jax. And if I remember, didn't he have a boyfriend in his past? There was even a pic circulating of him and some guy back around season 1.  So these guys need to stop fronting that they only love vajayjay.

[jennylauren123]

I think the staff should have to put $5 in a jar every time they say the word "like." At the end of the season, they can use the money however they like, say for Jax's tattoo removal, bottles of Astroglide for whomever, chunky necklaces for Stassi, rehab for whomever, or professional cleaning for FI's apartment. 

[turbogirlnyc]

No, no, I don't think he would do that, BUT I do think he's vicious enough to enjoy outing someone who isn't being honest about their sexuality.  To me, outing someone against their will is extremely cruel, but Andy Cohen has done far far worse.  Is he capable of it?  You betcha.

 

Actually, what I don't get is why Andy Cohen hasn't encouraged any interesting gay cast members on any of his shows.  There's just the buffoon idiot on that shitty Shahs crap or the supremely annoying Madison.  Sheesh, who wouldn't wanna kick either of those 2 in the teeth?  And of course there's various unmemorable hangers on, usually hair & makeup people.  Yawn.  Is it Lisa who's terrified to have at least one gay person on the show or is it the vile Andy Cohen himself?  Altho why he wouldn't is puzzling.  But I don't have much interest in trying to figure out someone so vile.

 

I do want to mention Josh Flagg from MDLLA. He's openly gay on the show and I adore him. Based on the forums here I suspect many viewers enjoy and respect Josh. Madison was boring to watch but I never saw him as a horrible person.

 

I'm definitely not an Andy fan, quite the opposite actually. I'm originally from St. Louis and cringe when I catch a glimpse of Andy's clubhouse. I suspect I'd be even more upset if I loved my hometown.

[ScoobieDoobs]

There is no way he is 35. Just like there is no way his real name is Jax. And if I remember, didn't he have a boyfriend in his past? There was even a pic circulating of him and some guy back around season 1.  So these guys need to stop fronting that they only love vajayjay.

 

Yup, I think you hit a really good point.  My suspicion on Jax is that he is bi & that he's absolutely comfortable with it -- which I think is pretty cool actually & something you never ever see anywhere in any media.  And maybe it's same thing with FI Tom.  This show is kinda a great op to follow along an area not covered by anyone else (on peeps who are casually bisexual).  And yet Satan Andy & Lisa are just so terrified to go there.  Now maybe it could be Jax or FI or even Schwartz (or as I suspect, Kristen & Katie) don't wanna out themselves as bi (if they are, that is), but I just get the impression Jax in particular really wouldn't care, but maybe I'm wrong.

 

I wasn't buying the conversation between FI & Jax, in FI's awful dump of an apartment.  It seemed forced & for the cameras.  I don't think Jax could a fuck if anyone is hurt by his actions.  He just wants to get laid & have fun & survive.  Seems like that's how he's lived his life for quite a long time.  And dat's who he is.

 

You know, as much as I wanna dismiss Jax as a worthless loser, he must have some sense of responsibility in him.  He has been able to keep the job at SUR, right?  He has his own apartment now & he has a car, so he must be paying his bills.  He makes some money from show.  Maybe it's not a fortune, but I bet it's decent money.  At this point, it's clearly known who he is, so don't look to me for any sympathy for idiot chicks (or er, dudes) who choose to get involved with him.

 

Stassi seemed to be bragging about an "upgrade" to her present boyfriend.  Oh really, Stass?  Um, I'm shrugging hard.  She merely went from one asshole to yet another one.  Oh, and Frank -- forgot about him.  Yet another asshole.  Hope we get to meet Stassi's present boyfriend.  Should be fun cuz I heard this guy is just about the biggest dickwad there is.

 

I do want to mention Josh Flagg from MDLLA. He's openly gay on the show and I adore him. Based on the forums here I suspect many viewers enjoy and respect Josh.

 

Oh yeah, forgot bout him.  Not a fan of his, but at least he's not a buffoon or a makeup artist -- oh, cuz that's all gay people are.  Thanks a fuckin' lot, Andy Cohen, you vile fuck, for reinforcing the idiotic stereotypes.  Sorry, but seeing Lisa with her silly-looking Pump staff prancing around in tacky ugly light pink tighty-tight shirts made me cringe.  Ugh, trotting out the same old tired stereotypes.  Blech.

Edited November 13, 2014 by ScoobieDoobs

[worleybird]

I think the staff should have to put $5 in a jar every time they say the word "like." At the end of the season, they can use the money however they like, say for Jax's tattoo removal, bottles of Astroglide for whomever, chunky necklaces for Stassi, rehab for whomever, or professional cleaning for FI's apartment. 

 

I do the drinking game everytime someone says 'like'. I've never made it past the Previouslies yet!

[psychoticstate]

I do want to mention Josh Flagg from MDLLA. He's openly gay on the show and I adore him. Based on the forums here I suspect many viewers enjoy and respect Josh.

 

 

I love, love, love Josh Flagg.  He's intelligent and runs a very successful business and he seems like he would actually be fun to hang out with.  If I was in the LA market for a million dollar property, I would absolutely call him. 

 

Over at TWOP, it was Tom Sandoval that was reputed to be bi.  Wouldn't surprise me.  And I don't care - - Flat Iron will always have a special greasy place in my black heart.  He's like a little wounded Mactor Care Bear that comes with a flat iron and a beanie.   He did a fantastic job covering up those bruises Busboy gave him but he does need to consider Merry Maid.  That apartment was horrible.

 

Jax - - whose real name is Jason, per his comments during either Season 1 or least season - - strikes me as someone who would fuck anyone or anything in order to get a job or special favors.  I don't think he really cares where he pokes his junk.  Now that he's had "the talk" with Carmen, let's see how long he's "happy" with Vegas Tiffany before he's running around with someone else.  And 28?  Girl is a rough 28.  I would have put her closer to 40 - - you know, Jax's real age.   

 

Since Lisa is so stingy with the job sitch, maybe Schwartz should have been checking out his options at Mixology.  Before the Muppet/Care Bear beat down.

 

Why can't this show air twice a week????

Edited November 12, 2014 by psychoticstate

[ScoobieDoobs]

Why can't this show air twice a week????

 

Hey, I think it should replace What What Crappens.  5X a week with these losers would be A-OK with me.

 

Now why wasn't Schemer sittin' there, with her supposedly cut foot, singing "Shake That"?

 

Here she is, if ya haven't heard, but I warn ya, your ears might bleed from listening to this shit-

 

http://www.intouchweekly.com/posts/exclusive-vanderpump-rules-star-scheana-marie-releases-latest-single-shake-that-listen-here-45707

Edited November 12, 2014 by ScoobieDoobs

[Ubiquitous]

(BTW, I've known a few guys who use Astroglide for a little..."solitary" activity, FWIW).  

Perhaps F-I Tom plays "KY Derby" with Arianna (or whatever her nane is)?

 

I also have to give Lisa the side-eye with her purported devotion to gay rights with the whole Pump scenario.  I dunno. Maybe it's just me.  I think she's only an "advocate" when it serves to further line her and Ken's pockets.  

That was my perception as well after seeing her slap together a last-minute flatbed trailer "float" for the local pride parade -- I am sure she said something about wanting a piece of that action (i.e., customers) for her bar.

 

Actually, what I don't get is why Andy Cohen hasn't encouraged any interesting gay cast members on any of his shows.  There's just the buffoon idiot on that shitty Shahs crap or the supremely annoying Madison.  Sheesh, who wouldn't wanna kick either of those 2 in the teeth?  And of course there's various unmemorable hangers on, usually hair & makeup people.  Yawn.  Is it Lisa who's terrified to have at least one gay person on the show or is it the vile Andy Cohen himself?  Altho why he wouldn't is puzzling.  But I don't have much interest in trying to figure out someone so vile.

Could it be fear of competition?

 

I have a vague recollection of TWoP Internet research on FI Tom but I do remember the photo of Jax with someone described as his boyfriend in the caption.

[ihartcoffee]

Team Muppet here. Tom initiates the physical back and forth and he receives a suspension? Likewise, Kristen has been filmed drinking on duty innumerable times as that lovely montage illustrated and she hasn't yet been fired? And if Bravo is going to encourage the escalation of physical violence, I appreciate that James defended himself adequately to the extent he actually fucked up Tom's face but good. This is the first occasion on which I've seen the fights between the idiots on these shows result in visible damage unless you count Ashlee ripping out Danielle's weave and Andy himself drama queening that Teresa Giudice's love tap constituted "tossing him like a rag doll."

 

With respect to Tom's ostensible modeling career, the amount of money he earns is contingent upon whether or not he's booking commercial or editorial jobs. If it's the latter (which favors wan and skinny), then he's raking in pennies. Like, possibly not enough to even cover the expenses from his agency in the long term. He seems like a good guy and cute in an everyday way, but, to me, he appears as much a foreigner to baths as Kristen. He's batting way below his aesthetics, though, with orange Katie.

 

You know you're right, Tom struck first and busboy gets the boot?  Granted, bus boy was a real tool, but come on now.   Of course, FI Tom is probably too popular to let go at this point.  Also, who kicked his ass?  Was it bus boy or Kristen?  It looked like she was hitting someone, she may have taken an opportunity to release some pent up rage over him daring to date Ariana in front of her.  

[Elizabeth]

 

I have a vague recollection of TWoP Internet research on FI Tom but I do remember the photo of Jax with someone described as his boyfriend in the caption.

 

Here's a link to the picture: 

 

http://ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com/75978765.html

[ScoobieDoobs]

Yeah, I remember over at TwoP, there were so many theories we came up with based on that pic.  The possibilities are endless.  And there were some who just refused to believe that Jax could be anything other than exclusively straight.  Hmmmm.  

 

Now that pic could mean nothing & maybe Jax is straight (suppressing chortles, chuckles & giggles).  Who knows?  I just bet Lisa was skeered shitless her star was gonna be outed as gay.  Ah, but nobody seemed to pay any attention to it.  And I think it was brought up once when he was on WWHL & he laughed it off.  But he didn't explain it -- at least not plausibly in any way I remember or believed.

 

Whatever the explanation of what was going on when that pic was taken doesn't much matter at this point -- cuz our caring about any of these knuckleheads is based on what they're doing here & now -- and not at all about their pasts.  So was Jax a hustler/escort years ago?  Maybe.  Probably.  Who cares?  

 

Was Vince his boyfriend?  Me doubts it.  Paid boyfriend for the night that pic was taken?  Maybe.  I just don't think whoever took that pic pulled the labeling of them as boyfriends out of thin air.  I think it was suggested by either or both of them.  Could they have been kidding around & were mistakenly taken seriously by the photographer?  Possibly.

 

I remember posting over at TWoP how I was convinced Jax was gay from that pic & all his relationships with women on the show were scripted fakes.  Well, I don't believe that anymore.  

 

That pic could have a ton of different implications, but in the end it lead to no clear conclusions.  It's merely my hunch Jax is comfortably bisexual.  That could also have a lot of different meanings.  Maybe he has sexual interest in men, but prefers romantic relationships with women.  Or maybe he doesn't do anything with men anymore.  Or maybe he's just on the down low with men.  Or maybe he was merely er, gay-for-pay.  Whatever.  None of this matters to me.

 

What was (and I guess still is) of most interest to me is whether his relationships we see with all these women on the show are fake & scripted.  I don't get the impression they are.  Maybe I'm wrong, but it did look (to me) like he had the kinda chemistry going on with both Carmen & the old chick from Vegas, that it seemed he was screwing 'em.  Ew.

Edited November 13, 2014 by ScoobieDoobs

[Teddybear]

It's funny to see these losers on old episodes of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.  I've been catching reruns this week, and Tom was serving drinks at Sur (when Brandi told the secret about Adrienne), and his hair was flat flat flat against his head.  I wonder when he got the idea to make it all spikey-like.

 

Also, I was surprised to see Kristen was in Las Vegas to celebrate Pandora's bachelorette party.  I never knew they were that close, and must be the reason Lisa won't fire her ass.  All we heard about was how close Stassi and Pandy were, but Princess Stassi wasn't there, and surely she would have made herself front and center if there were cameras around.     

 

One last thing, have we discussed Ariana's use of the term "25-8?"  Is this a new thing the "cool kids" are saying?  Or does she really not have a sense of days/weeks like Porsha, who thought there were 265 days a year. 

Edited November 13, 2014 by Teddybear

[turbogirlnyc]

It's funny to see these losers on old episodes of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.  I've been catching reruns this week, and Tom was serving drinks at Sur (when Brandi told the secret about Adrienne), and his hair was flat flat flat against his head.  I wonder when he got the idea to make it all spikey-like.

 

Also, I was surprised to see Kristen was in Las Vegas to celebrate Pandora's bachelorette party.  I never knew they were that close, and must be the reason Lisa won't fire her ass.  All we heard about was how close Stassi and Pandy were, but Princess Stassi wasn't there, and surely she would have made herself front and center if there were cameras around.     

 

One last thing, have we discussed Ariana's use of the term "25-8?"  Is this a new thing the "cool kids" are saying?  Or does she really not have a sense of days/weeks like Porsha, who thought there were 265 days a year. 

 

25/8 is a term. Whether or not it's strictly used by "cool kids", I can't say.

[Teddybear]

 

25/8 is a term. Whether or not it's strictly used by "cool kids", I can't say.

OK thanks.  And for the record, I think these people are the farthest thing from cool.  I was referencing that song they played in all the promos  ("I wish that I could be like the cool kids….").  Hardly!! 

[Portae]

Why are people assuming that FI Tom is bi or gay because he has Astroglide? Maybe he uses it to masturbate, maybe Arianna has vaginal dryness, or maybe they use it in conjunction with sex toys with one another. It doesn't matter to me whether FI Tom is bi or gay, but I don't like flattening out heterosexual sex to something that couldn't possibly include lubricant.

[fliptopbox]

Why are people assuming that FI Tom is bi or gay because he has Astroglide? Maybe he uses it to masturbate, maybe Arianna has vaginal dryness, or maybe they use it in conjunction with sex toys with one another. It doesn't matter to me whether FI Tom is bi or gay, but I don't like flattening out heterosexual sex to something that couldn't possibly include lubricant.

Tom and Ariana might even use it for buttsex. Who knows? Who cares. It's just lube.

[Betweenyouandme]

Why are people assuming that FI Tom is bi or gay because he has Astroglide? Maybe he uses it to masturbate, maybe Arianna has vaginal dryness, or maybe they use it in conjunction with sex toys with one another. It doesn't matter to me whether FI Tom is bi or gay, but I don't like flattening out heterosexual sex to something that couldn't possibly include lubricant.

Yes, thank you. There's a line of advice for women that reads, "don't ever put anything dry inside you." More often than not, I like a little extra lubricant to prevent tearing. And, I much prefer the bought stuff over spit- mine or my partner's. TMI, yes. But, facts still stand. I'm not a gay man nor do I do anal, but I love lubricant. Might be similar for Ariana.

[ScoobieDoobs]

Why are people assuming that FI Tom is bi or gay because he has Astroglide?

 

 

Cuz it can be an absolute standard & must for gay sex, dat's why.  But since I am not straight & not a lady, you gals have educated me there are other uses for lube than for gay sex.  So showing FI's lube doesn't especially mean anything.  I thought Satan Andy was outing FI.  Guess I'm wrong.  All he showed was that FI lives like an absolute pig.  

 

Messy roommate?  Fuck off, with dat bullshit excuse, FI.  Guess you care more bout working with your makeup brush & flat iron than in picking up all the shit around your place.  Is the messy ex-roommate responsible for how shitty your bedroom looked, FI?  Or were ya using the lube with that roomie, FI?

 

Now Kristen says in her latest Bravo blog she was FI's maid.  OK, so Kristen wants us to believe she was the one who kept their place relatively tidy?  Really, Kristen?  You want us to believe you're the neat one?  Sure, Cigarette Sally, sure.  Sheesh, I bet that place must wreak of stale cigarettes.  Ew.

Edited November 13, 2014 by ScoobieDoobs

[yourmomiseasy]

Fish can be an absolute standard and must for sushi, but that doesn't turn that fried fish basket you got at Long John Silvers into a chirashi bowl.

[Duke2801]

Yes, thank you. There's a line of advice for women that reads, "don't ever put anything dry inside you." More often than not, I like a little extra lubricant to prevent tearing. And, I much prefer the bought stuff over spit- mine or my partner's. TMI, yes. But, facts still stand. I'm not a gay man nor do I do anal, but I love lubricant. Might be similar for Ariana.

 

LOL. Yes right on.  As a straight woman, I can tell you that lube is a regular item in many of our "bedside table drawers."  Not only just for me, but for those times when I'm giving Mr. Duke a "helping hand" ifyaknowwhatimeanandithinkyado.

 

Now Kristen says in her latest Bravo blog she was FI's maid.  OK, so Kristen wants us to believe she was the one who kept their place relatively tidy?  Really, Kristen?  You want us to believe you're the neat one?  Sure, Cigarette Sally, sure.  Sheesh, I bet that place must wreak of stale cigarettes.  Ew.

 

 

Cigarette Sally.  Loving that.   Yeah, if she really was FI Tom's maid, it's no wonder she got the boot.  Worst. maid. ever.

Edited November 13, 2014 by Duke2801

[ghoulina]

This episode had so many laughs. 

 

Scheana hurts her foot (again? I'm sure it was way less severe than she made it out to be. But she has shown progress - no sitting out front with it propped up on a pillow this time) and who carries her out of the building? I don't know....but that dude sure wasn't Shay! 

 

FI Tom's crying Snapchat to Scheana was so beyond hilarious. He does realize she's not a casting director, right? 

 

And then we have Jax's "It's not you, it's me" speech. He truly is delusional....to think anyone would fall for it. I'm glad Carmen called him out on who full of it he is, how he only wants to make himself feel better. She seems like she she deserves better than that walking crab-factory anyhow. I noticed her face last episode, when he was saying everyone has cheated and lied. She clearly didn't like the nonchalant way in which he said that. She definitely is better off moving on. 

 

Did I see Arianna wearing a houndstooth bra? LOVE. NEED. 

 

The apartments on these shows continue to be so depressing. They remind of the one I lived in when I was 21 - cheap, no personality. Except these people are at least 10 years older than that. And mine was clean. They look like they're living in frat houses. It's pathetic. At one point are they going to realize how old they are and start living like it? Probably never...

[ghoulina]

Also, who kicked his ass?  Was it bus boy or Kristen?  It looked like she was hitting someone, she may have taken an opportunity to release some pent up rage over him daring to date Ariana in front of her.

 

It was really hard to tell what was going on, but the person I saw Kristen hitting was Tom Schwartz. He actually called her out on it; he was all - "What the fuck Kristen? I'm breaking it up!" and She was all, "No you were not!" 

 

FTR, I tend to agree with those who think it was lame that James got fired, but not Kristen or Tom. FI did start it. And Kristen is just a mess and liability, as Peter pointed out. But James is nowhere near as popular and well known as those two, so....

[ScoobieDoobs]

And James is a muppet & a busboy so he is pretty low on the list. Makes him a good candidate for Lisa to vaporize. My guess is Kristen will forget bout him by next ep & move onto to some good Fatal Attraction shit. Not sure how pets could possibly be involved cuz there's no way any would survive in FI's dump of an apartment.

[jaync]

Oh and the drunk crying "apology" video is just reality gold.

It so, so was. Stassi says her ghost boyfriend is a rockstar? Naw, girl, that would be FI Tom.

 

Maybe I need to re-watch, because I thought Tiffany was rather beautiful, whatever her age. *shrugs*

 

I can't wrap my head around actually leaving one's home to do their business in a public toilet. Just crazy, to me. And, IMO, rather telling of Stassi's security in her relationship, because I somehow doubt she did that when she was with Jax. (Though, I can see her making Jax go elsewhere, since according to FI Tom, Jax leaves the bathroom door open when he takes a dump.)

[Ubiquitous]

Cuz it can be an absolute standard & must for gay sex, dat's why.  But since I am not straight & not a lady, you gals have educated me there are other uses for lube than for gay sex.  So showing FI's lube doesn't especially mean anything.  I thought Satan Andy was outing FI.  Guess I'm wrong.  All he showed was that FI lives like an absolute pig. 

Did you forget about Tamra on RHoOC this last telling everyone about her toothsome husband bending her over the kitchen counters for anal sex, or am I thinking of someone else?

It was really hard to tell what was going on, but the person I saw Kristen hitting was Tom Schwartz. He actually called her out on it; he was all - "What the fuck Kristen? I'm breaking it up!" and She was all, "No you were not!" 

You are correct; she was wailing on the other Tom who was either restraining DJ Muppet or helping FI Tom.  TS later confessed to putting DJ Muppet in a headlock to Lisa Vanderbucks for some reason.

[ScoobieDoobs]

since according to FI Tom, Jax leaves the bathroom door open when he takes a dump.

 

Ah, lovely.  I don't remember dat one.  Hmmm, yet another extraordinary & charming trait to add to all the others that seem to attract oodles of idiot chicks to him.

Did you forget about Tamra on RHoOC this last telling everyone about her toothsome husband bending her over the kitchen counters for anal sex, or am I thinking of someone else?

 

Well, who could forget dat?  But I don't think Tams mentioned anything bout lube -- or did I block that little ditty from my memory?  Maybe FI & Tams & Eddie can do endorsements for AstroGlide.  Er, it is nice to have a dream, right?

Edited November 14, 2014 by ScoobieDoobs

[Persnickety1]

It so, so was. Stassi says her ghost boyfriend is a rockstar? Naw, girl, that would be FI Tom.

 

Maybe I need to re-watch, because I thought Tiffany was rather beautiful, whatever her age. *shrugs*

 

I can't wrap my head around actually leaving one's home to do their business in a public toilet. Just crazy, to me. And, IMO, rather telling of Stassi's security in her relationship, because I somehow doubt she did that when she was with Jax. (Though, I can see her making Jax go elsewhere, since according to FI Tom, Jax leaves the bathroom door open when he takes a dump.)

 

Oh hells bells, now you'e gone and made me giggle like a little girl with that observation.

 

And I agree, I can absolutely see Stassi blocking the bathroom door, pointing her finger at the front door, and ordering Jax to the nearest public restroom to take care of his toileting needs.

 

And, of course, he would do as directed.

 

 

It was really hard to tell what was going on, but the person I saw Kristen hitting was Tom Schwartz. He actually called her out on it; he was all - "What the fuck Kristen? I'm breaking it up!" and She was all, "No you were not!" 

 

FTR, I tend to agree with those who think it was lame that James got fired, but not Kristen or Tom. FI did start it. And Kristen is just a mess and liability, as Peter pointed out. But James is nowhere near as popular and well known as those two, so....

 

That's how I saw it, too, and it actually looked like Kristen got in at least one solid punch to his head/face area.

 

I also agree with everyone about Lisa's firing of Busboy.

 

Not that I can stand the little prick, but, seriously, what the fuck, Lisa?

 

Busboy and Kristen were in another area of the bar, minding their own business over their drinks, and Tom approached them.  He then tried to drag Kristen away for a little tete-a-tete (which he had to know would not go over well with Busboy), and let James' snarking drive him to physical contact.

 

Yes, Tom may have gotten his ass handed to him in the ensuing brawl, but Tom clearly started that entire clusterfuck.  

 

Hell, I can't even blame "Cigarette Sally" for that fracas, as much as I'd like to.

 

Oh, and regarding the FI Tom sexual orientation conversation, my apologies if anyone thought I was indicating that.  Reading the post above mine, it reminded me of a discussion over at TWOP regarding one of the Tom's being listed as bisexual on a modeling site or dating site or something, and then that being changed to "heterosexual" after the first episode had aired, and how that might involve Lisa's influence and my skepticism at her being such a proponent of gay activism.

 

Personally, I have not a single fuck to give about either Tom's sexual orientation or if they prefer sausage or tuna.  As long as they keep me entertained with this treasure trove of snark, I'm good with whichever direction they float their man boats.

 

Now hurry up Monday, I need my VPR fix!  

[Betweenyouandme]

"Sausage or tuna".....oh, the smells that brings to mind. Thaaaaaaank you.

;)

[Persnickety1]

"Sausage or tuna".....oh, the smells that brings to mind. Thaaaaaaank you.

;)

 

I do what I can  ;-)  

 

Okay, now to be totally superficial and all judgey here...

 

I think I've figured out what about Schaena's feet invites such folly.

 

Did anybody notice the disproportionate size of those hams?  Betty Rubble and Wilma Flinstone ain't got nothing on our girl Schaena in the foot department.

 

Those are probably the beefiest lady feet I've seen on TV in...Well, probably forever.

 

No wonder they take such a beating...They're large enough where they probably get heavy to lug around from her ankles at the end of the day, and also large enough to get in the way of anything, apparently even breaking/broken glass.

 

Yabba dabba doooo!!!!  

[ScoobieDoobs]

Well, if I'm not mistaken, all the gals on this show have enormous feet, aside from Schemer.  Stassi's & Cigarette Sally's feet are ginormous.  Haven't noticed Tequila Katie's cuz . . . ew.

 

OK, so what can we take away from Stass's charming Starbucks poop story?  Um, that she's so terrified to poop anywhere in the relative vicinity of her supposed "rock star" ghost boyfriend, she actually prefers to go to one of those completely disgusting NYC (or LA) Starbucks restrooms, where someone is always pounding on the door impatiently after you've been in there for more than a minute?  And she's boasting about this?  WTF?

Edited November 15, 2014 by ScoobieDoobs

[ScoobieDoobs]

"Sausage or tuna".....oh, the smells that brings to mind. Thaaaaaaank you.

 

 

So would the hint of FI's true sexuality be what ya smell in dat shithole apartment?  Ah, well, I'm thinkin' Cigarette Sally left her mark pretty deep.

[OnceSane]

I would be okay if this show was just about the Toms. And Scheana, because she is hilariously snarkable.

[ghoulina]

Agreed! The Toms are hilarious. More of FI Tom mocking Scheana, please. 

[FairyDusted]

Nothing to add....I flove this mother fucking show. Just glad they are back. I need the snark to survive!

[ScoobieDoobs]

I kinda admire Schemer's eye makeup.  Can't be easy wearin' all dat shit.

[ScoobieDoobs]

Is Schemer that much of a brain-dead self-absorbed moron she couldn't tell FI was laying it on just a wee bit thick in that vid?  Um, yeah, she is.

Edited November 15, 2014 by ScoobieDoobs

[ihartcoffee]

Today. 8:34 pm

My favorite moment, when the cameraman zoomed in and lingered on the bottle of lube at Tom's apartment.

That was awesome. Because that bottle of Astroglide just had to belong to Tom's "messy roommate" right? Oh and the drunk crying "apology" video is just reality gold.

Stassi has to walk to Starbucks to poop. Just like how Melissa Gorga on RHoNJ goes to Burger King for number 2, and I'm not talking about the #2 value meal.

And seriously people, when you're talking about whatever fiasco goes down at whoever's birthday event - for the love of God say birthday party not just birthday. Scheana: " I can't believe this went down at my birthday" Dimwit, it either went down at your birthday party or went down on your birthday. At my birthday just sounds stupid.

I hate hate hate pooping in public, are these women crazy?

Hetero couples use lube too in all fairness. One time my 9 year old was looking for hair gel and found that stuff in one of the bathroom drawers and brought it to me asking if it was hair gel. It did say gel on the bottle.

But FI Tom still comes off as bi. Which I don't care either way. In my husband's circle of friends there is a guy like him. A real 'pretty boy' who dates women but won't ever commit. His roommate came home unexpectedly one night and he was having a candlelight dinner with a guy, romantic music and all that. They are all still good friends, to each their own ya know.

His apartment was a serious mess though and he got his ass kicked in the fight he picked.

So unfair that bus boy took the fall for that whole mess.

Edited November 16, 2014 by ihartcoffee

[beesknees]

Stassi leaving her own home to drop a deuce in a public toilet?  Uh, the same icky way Stassi feels about dumping at her own house is the same way I feel about crapping in a public establishment.   I HATE going to the bathroom at a store, restaurant, or gas station. I try and wait til I get home if I can.

[ScoobieDoobs]

I hate hate hate pooping in public, are these women crazy?

 

 

Um. yeah.  Crazy, dumb, lazy.  Anything else to add?

 

So Schemer's hero is Penny Lane from Almost Famous?  An aimless groupie ditz is who she looks up to & brands her arm with a quote from?  Er, volumes spoken.

[ScoobieDoobs]

I HATE going to the bathroom at a store, restaurant, or gas station. I try and wait til I get home if I can.

 

 

You know that charming aspect of pooping in a public place, where some asshole is always pounding on the door demanding you to hurry up after you've been in there for 30 seconds?  Lovely, right?  What everyone would choose over the privacy of one's own toilet, right?  I could so see Stassi getting up mid-dump, tearing after anyone pounding on her door.  Would these producers go there?  Upcoming scene this season maybe?

[Jennifersdc]

Um. yeah.  Crazy, dumb, lazy.  Anything else to add?

 

So Schemer's hero is Penny Lane from Almost Famous?  An aimless groupie ditz is who she looks up to & brands her arm with a quote from?  Er, volumes spoken.

Mr. DC is sometimes very observant. Example, he noticed the Giudice's porte cochere (totally way out of proportion to the house BTW) about a year before anybody else.

Since he also has to watch live with me now - he had a good chuckle over the Almost Famous tattoo. Can't remember exactly but it was something like that bimbo got a tattoo from a fictional band groupie who tried to commit suicide?

[turbogirlnyc]

I kinda admire Schemer's eye makeup.  Can't be easy wearin' all dat shit.

 

Girlfriend can apply makeup. I'd love to have her talent with blending shadows.

[ScoobieDoobs]

Totally agree.  It looks great on camera & from a distance she looks awesome.  I wonder how it looks closeup in person.  And I wonder how long it looks good in the disgusting LA smoggy summer humidity.  And does she do it herself or does she have a great makeup person do it for her?  Given how lazy she is & she seems to be so completely talentless, I suspect that is the artistry of someone else -- def not her.

[yourmomiseasy]

Stassi leaving her own home to drop a deuce in a public toilet?  Uh, the same icky way Stassi feels about dumping at her own house is the same way I feel about crapping in a public establishment.   I HATE going to the bathroom at a store, restaurant, or gas station. I try and wait til I get home if I can.

 

Agreed.  I don't even like peeing not at home.  Last time I went camping I didn't go to the bathroom at all for 3 days.  Hence it being the last time.  

 

Girlfriend can apply makeup. I'd love to have her talent with blending shadows.

 

She is talented.  I question wearing her look as an every day thing, but I'd love to be able to do my make-up that well.  She just needs to figure out that there's a time and place for everything and tone it down for daily use.

 

Totally agree.  It looks great on camera & from a distance she looks awesome.  I wonder how it looks closeup in person.  And I wonder how long it looks good in the disgusting LA smoggy summer humidity.  And does she do it herself or does she have a great makeup person do it for her?  Given how lazy she is & she seems to be so completely talentless, I suspect that is the artistry of someone else -- def not her.

 

LA doesn't really get that humid that often.  We've got a pretty dry climate.  Our smog isn't that bad anymore either, it isn't like the 80s and 90s.  I can probably count the number of times I've had issues with my eye make-up melting off on one hand.  It isn't like we're Florida or Hawaii.  

[ScoobieDoobs]

One thing bout Scheana I'll give her is she really always looks good on camera -- this season.  Not just her makeup, but her hair too, have to say looks really nice.  If she is doing it herself, she's doing a good job.  Cuz both her heavy eye makeup & that hairstyle looks like it takes a lot of time & effort.  Not really seeing any tacky outfits either.  And I was lookin' forward to more gold lame shorts.