Chit-Chat: The Feels

[bluegirl147]

3 minutes ago, Affogato said:

because I want to leave room for the party to recover its dignity. 

I want that too but they are setting it up that MAGA will be part of the infrastructure of our government.  Even after Trump is gone the stench is going to remain for awhile.  

[Mollywolly555]

1 hour ago, Affogato said:

Online dating also means women have to fear their dates. Meet them in public places, meet them with friends, test drinks for drugs, have support on speed dial. Dating is hard and scary. There is something adversarial to it. 

Dating someone you meet online, as opposed to someone you met in person at college, sports, friends/relatives of friends, etc,., as in the pre-Internet days, is scary.

Instead of the term, "adversarial", I would use  the term, "self-protective" for women.

I went on 34 dates with guys I met on an online dating site after separating from my husband for several years. I never shared my last name or address or phone, and waited for them to drive away before going to my car.  A few wanted sex asap, like before the main course came. Others were ok; a few more dates here and there. Dating became somewhat tiresome, actually, because we just didn't connect significantly. 

I did have a 5 years-long relationship with one before breaking up, and returning to my husband. That one is still a casual friend I talk to online occasionally, but nothing romantically, as he has health issues, and few family around to help sometimes. 

Scary news stories contribute to my own self-protection translating into being aware of my circumstances and locale, as I travel alone frequently. 

Also, too many women were taught to be concerned with others' feelings before their own, leading to potentially dicey situations.  

Edited May 14 by Mollywolly555

[Affogato]

5 minutes ago, bluegirl147 said:

I want that too but they are setting it up that MAGA will be part of the infrastructure of our government.  Even after Trump is gone the stench is going to remain for awhile.  

Maybe more than stench because government is currently gutted and it will get worse. I honestly do not know. 

[PRgal]

Too many people to respond to, but I'll say this.  It's much more acceptable for WOMEN (especially WHITE women) to be open about having mental health issues AND seeing a therapist (Asian women of ALL social classes not so much.  I can point out to my own SAME GENERATION, perimenopausal mid-40s female cousin as an example.  While she didn't outwardly vilify me for seeing a therapist, she was all "they're all a load of crock and only out there for money."  My parents (BOOMERS) are more accepting of me seeing one.  I'm not even going to tell her my son is being tested for ADHD because she'd be weirded out by that, too).  Guys (of ALL ETHNIC BACKGROUNDS)?  not so much, especially not one-on-one.  As for DEI and POC, well, in many cases, it's CERTAIN POC.  Try getting into med school if you're middle class+ and Asian.

[bluegirl147]

4 minutes ago, Mollywolly555 said:

Instead of the term, "adversarial", I would use  the term, "self-protective" for women.

That kinda is what it's like to just exist as a woman. If we aren't in physical danger we are in danger of losing rights.  

[Affogato]

9 minutes ago, PRgal said:

Too many people to respond to, but I'll say this.  It's much more acceptable for WOMEN (especially WHITE women) to be open about having mental health issues AND seeing a therapist (Asian women of ALL social classes not so much.  I can point out to my own SAME GENERATION, perimenopausal mid-40s female cousin as an example.  While she didn't outwardly vilify me for seeing a therapist, she was all "they're all a load of crock and only out there for money."  My parents (BOOMERS) are more accepting of me seeing one.  I'm not even going to tell her my son is being tested for ADHD because she'd be weirded out by that, too).  Guys (of ALL ETHNIC BACKGROUNDS)?  not so much, especially not one-on-one.  As for DEI and POC, well, in many cases, it's CERTAIN POC.  Try getting into med school if you're middle class+ and Asian.

Well, yes, all of this is probably true. Although I’m not sure about the med school thing. 

https://www.shemmassianconsulting.com/blog/medical-school-acceptance-rates-by-race

The percentages of applicants from the largest ethnic/racial applicant groups—Asian, Black or African American, Hispanic or Latino, and White—who were accepted and matriculated to medical school by race are as follows:

Asian:

Accepted: 50.5%

Matriculated: 49%

Black or African American:

Accepted: 35.9%

Matriculated: 34.1%

Hispanic or Latino:

Accepted: 43.4%

Matriculated: 41.9%

White:

Accepted: 50.6%

Matriculated: 48.4%

The data show that Asian and White applicants tend to get into medical school at roughly the same rate, whereas Hispanic or Latino applicants are slightly lower, and African American students have a markedly lower acceptance rate.

 

[Bookworm 1979]

3 hours ago, Yeah No said:

In many ways the pandemic traumatized us and we probably all need therapy to get past it.

I feel like I'm the only one who liked the way things were during the pandemic. I'm a homebody, and it was nice to have things slow down for a bit. We weren't rushing everywhere, and loved everyone having to keep their distance while shopping! I was lucky because I had my husband around to keep me company, and I talked on the phone with my family often, and I was able to work from home. I do know not everyone was that lucky, but everything slowing down for a while was nice.

[Affogato]

9 minutes ago, Bookworm 1979 said:

I feel like I'm the only one who liked the way things were during the pandemic. I'm a homebody, and it was nice to have things slow down for a bit. We weren't rushing everywhere, and loved everyone having to keep their distance while shopping! I was lucky because I had my husband around to keep me company, and I talked on the phone with my family often, and I was able to work from home. I do know not everyone was that lucky, but everything slowing down for a while was nice.

I think a lot if people who had nice houses. Could stay in. Didn’t have intimates die. didn’t have to juggle schools and children. Had a well developed support system. And so on.

Did okay. 
 

to add, In retrospect I didn’t i was unable to exercise enough. Unable to work from home. Lost many social outlets. Also got stuck where I was in survival mode. 

Edited May 14 by Affogato

[Bookworm 1979]

10 minutes ago, Affogato said:

I think a lot if people who had nice houses. Could stay in. Didn’t have intimates die. didn’t have to juggle schools and children. Had a well developed support system. And so on.

Did okay. 

Exactly. I know how lucky and privileged I was during Covid, but a lot of the people I still see whining about it are angry because they couldn't go shopping and the restaurants were closed.

[bluegirl147]

I didn't mind things being shut down during Covid.  I had to work but I only had four coworkers and I only saw them in the morning as they were leaving and sometimes at the end of the day if they made it back to the office before I left. We get next to zero walk in traffic.

I didn't step foot in a Wal Mart or restaurant for over a year till I was fully vaccinated.  Got pizza a couple times from a place that had a drive up window. I like to cook so that didn't bother me. When I did go grocery shopping I purposely chose smaller stores that weren't crowded.

My libraries shut down for three months but I always have a bunch of books checked out so I had plenty to read and when they opened back up they did contact free pick ups which was nice. 

We never ran out of toilet paper.  I already had plenty of streaming services so I watched a lot of comfort shows. Didn't watch Tiger King though.

Things were going well until my mother got Covid in December 2020.  She almost died. Spent seven weeks in the hospital. Had to go to a rehab center for two weeks to learn to walk again.

One of my biggest fears (and since exasperated with Booby in charge) is the next pandemic is going to be even worse.

[Anela]

15 minutes ago, Bookworm 1979 said:

Exactly. I know how lucky and privileged I was during Covid, but a lot of the people I still see whining about it are angry because they couldn't go shopping and the restaurants were closed.

Some also insisted that it was another part of a war on Christians, because the churches were closed. I saw something yesterday, that I posted four or five years ago. How people were sure they wouldn’t get Covid, because god was protecting them, and how these tended to be the same people who thought they needed guns for protection.  

I was a part of a wellness group on Facebook, until I opposed too many posts about sheer masks that people were buying for themselves and their children. Also the posts about ivermectin.

I was home alone, and going crazy, because my dad was an essential worker. I was lucky in that we had this house, and the space around it. We weren’t stuck in apartment buildings. I think I would have dealt with it a lot better, if there hadn’t been so many people spreading conspiracy theories, and making everything crazier than it had to be. There were protests at our capitol, and some of those people had guns.  Amy Acton was run out of her job, and needed security. The group that wanted to kidnap Whitmer, and freaking execute her, wanted to do the same to DeWine. I still remember the elderly woman who was meeting up with groups of friends, no mask, who people then requested prayers for. She was in the hospital, collapsed in the bathroom, and ended up on a ventilator. They carried on with their anti-covid protection schtick. 

[kittykat]

We lucked out on COVID too.  Mr. Kat was able to work from home. Our kid was still a toddler and didn't start school until 22 so no remote learning. We opted out of preschool though so that was a lot of hands on time. We kept outdoor exposure limited. Libraries weren't open but thank heavens for Libby.

We masked up when needed, got vaccinated when they became available.  I didn't catch it until 2023 and I'm pretty sure I likely caught it from lil Kat's school.

[annzeepark914]

What bugged me was seeing masks lying on shrubs (or on sidewalks/parking lots) outside medical offices. Who started the anti-mask crap? God help us get through the next pandemic with the incredibly bad attitude we saw not too long ago.

Edited May 14 by annzeepark914

[Affogato]

7 minutes ago, annzeepark914 said:

What bugged me was seeing masks lying on shrubs (or on sidewalks/parking lots) outside medical offices. Who started the anti-mask crap? God help us get through the next pandemic with the incredibly bad attitude we saw not too long ago.

I still wear a mask when I go out. Not generally outdoors and I do go to restaurants, but on public transportation, theaters, public buildings. Although older I don’t have autoimmune stuff going on. I probably will do it for the rest of my life. 

[DrSpaceman73]

2 hours ago, Affogato said:

I think we are struggling with the social media of it all, too. People support the coat tails they think will move them in the direction they want to go. In the case of the republicans, boy was that a mistake.
 

The democrats are looking for that as well. I don’t know the solution. 
 

i prefer to think MAGA is not the current Republican party, as they continue to use it, because I want to leave room for the party to recover its dignity. 

Maga runs the republican party. 

Even if theoretically, I am not making a threat or implication or anything of the sort, donald trump disappeared today,the party will not suddenly change back or regain its sanity. It will take a generation for this to change. Maga is in charge of republicans for the near future. 

 

 

[Bookworm 1979]

14 minutes ago, annzeepark914 said:

What bugged me was seeing masks lying on shrubs (or on sidewalks/parking lots) outside medical offices. Who started the anti-mask crap? God help us get through the next pandemic with the incredibly bad attitude we saw not too long ago.

I'm in Alberta, which is basically MAGA of the north, and we have a measles outbreak here. Our useless provincial government finally suggested people should get vaccinated for it, but it's too little too late at this point. The sad thing is it's the unvaccinated kids who are going to suffer.

[DrSpaceman73]

In regard to air force one, if that is the type of thing we know he is getting from foreign countries, imagine everything we aren't being told about. 

[bluegirl147]

9 minutes ago, DrSpaceman73 said:

In regard to air force one, if that is the type of thing we know he is getting from foreign countries, imagine everything we aren't being told about. 

What is scarier is what is he having to do in return for those things? 

31 minutes ago, annzeepark914 said:

What bugged me was seeing masks lying on shrubs (or on sidewalks/parking lots) outside medical offices.

I read a FB post by a woman that was a friend of a friend who was so proud of herself because she took her elderly father to a doctor's appointment and refused to put on the mask they offered her. You can't fix stupid.

57 minutes ago, kittykat said:

I didn't catch it until 2023 and I'm pretty sure I likely caught it from lil Kat's school.

I didn't catch it till the fall of 2023 and I'm convinced I got it from a woman who was standing outside smoking at a restaurant I had just had lunch in. She was practically coughing up a lung as I walked by. I had maybe two bad days and then I was fine.

1 hour ago, Anela said:

I still remember the elderly woman who was meeting up with groups of friends, no mask, who people then requested prayers for. She was in the hospital, collapsed in the bathroom, and ended up on a ventilator. They carried on with their anti-covid protection schtick. 

I remember a lot of posts going viral (ha ha no pun intended) that were people proud of not following the mask and stay at home recommendations and then seeing their obituaries.  I only personally knew one person who died of Covid.  My aunt who also suffered from breast cancer. If not for that she might have survived.

[jessiebell]

Interesting reading the comments regarding COVID.  Due to two rare lung diseases- one which left my lungs permanently scarred and left me on oxygen 24/7 and the other an incurable potentially fatal disease that affects the artery that goes from my lungs to the right side of my heart - I didn't leave my house for 3 months.  COVID would probably have been fatal for me.  Then I did start visiting my elderly parents once a week and I"m glad I did because my Mom died that September (from dementia not COVID).

What really bothers me is the total selfishness of people who refused to wear masks and so were willing to spread the disease to others.  COVID was a strange disease since perfectly healthy people died while others with health issues survived.  Was it really too much to ask to wear a mask for the 20-30 minutes you were in a grocery store - not only for your life but those you around you.  I really feel for those affected in the early months when doctors were still trying to figure out treatments and before vaccines were available.  

I recently read that 200 people a week are still dying from COVID.

 

[Affogato]

12 minutes ago, jessiebell said:

Interesting reading the comments regarding COVID.  Due to two rare lung diseases- one which left my lungs permanently scarred and left me on oxygen 24/7 and the other an incurable potentially fatal disease that affects the artery that goes from my lungs to the right side of my heart - I didn't leave my house for 3 months.  COVID would probably have been fatal for me.  Then I did start visiting my elderly parents once a week and I"m glad I did because my Mom died that September (from dementia not COVID).

What really bothers me is the total selfishness of people who refused to wear masks and so were willing to spread the disease to others.  COVID was a strange disease since perfectly healthy people died while others with health issues survived.  Was it really too much to ask to wear a mask for the 20-30 minutes you were in a grocery store - not only for your life but those you around you.  I really feel for those affected in the early months when doctors were still trying to figure out treatments and before vaccines were available.  

I recently read that 200 people a week are still dying from COVID.

 

Long covid is also a thing. I understand we still don’t know the long term consequences. 

[kittykat]

I have a friend who can't get vaccinated because she's had bad allergic reactions to others (tetanus and hepatitis to name a few).  When she got COVID she was down for a month. She totally would have gotten the shot if she could.  So I vaccinated myself and family for her and others who are autoimmune and can't get the shot for nonreligious reasons.  

People are always talking about how there's no more sense of community and helping each other out.  As terrible as the pandemic was I remember hearing wonderful stories of people helping others during this time.  People making grocery runs for the elderly and more at risk groups.  Neighborhoods raising funds for those who lost their jobs.  Many states had rent moratoriums. People donated devices to students who didn't have a computer for school.  Overall awareness of masks and sanitizer.  The obscene amounts of overtime our doctors and nurses put on to care for those who got sick.

And yet those who crowed about personal freedom and wearing masks and not being able to go shopping are from the supposed group of communication and family values?  Please!  This country has proven in times of adversity that we do have the ability to get our shit together.  It's just these last few years there's the rising voice of this nasty minority that seems to promote this dog eat dog mindset that helping others, empathizing and lending a hand to those who desperately need a line thrown at them is weakness.  I don't want to be a country where helping those who need it is considered a weakness.

[PRgal]

3 hours ago, Affogato said:

Well, yes, all of this is probably true. Although I’m not sure about the med school thing. 

https://www.shemmassianconsulting.com/blog/medical-school-acceptance-rates-by-race

The percentages of applicants from the largest ethnic/racial applicant groups—Asian, Black or African American, Hispanic or Latino, and White—who were accepted and matriculated to medical school by race are as follows:

Asian:

Accepted: 50.5%

Matriculated: 49%

Black or African American:

Accepted: 35.9%

Matriculated: 34.1%

Hispanic or Latino:

Accepted: 43.4%

Matriculated: 41.9%

White:

Accepted: 50.6%

Matriculated: 48.4%

The data show that Asian and White applicants tend to get into medical school at roughly the same rate, whereas Hispanic or Latino applicants are slightly lower, and African American students have a markedly lower acceptance rate.

 

That's interesting because some medical programs go out of their way to recruit or prioritize applicants from certain communities.  They don't outright say which ones but it's implied that they're not looking for Asian or White "kids."

[Affogato]

4 minutes ago, PRgal said:

That's interesting because some medical programs go out of their way to recruit or prioritize applicants from certain communities.  They don't outright say which ones but it's implied that they're not looking for Asian or White "kids."

 NOt sure what your point is here. Or where you are getting your data from, since it isn’t cited. But yes, I can easily imagine proactive programs to encourage more native American or black kids or hispanic kids to consider medicine as a profession. And if a medical school has, for interests of making it easy, only 100 slots open, maybe some of those kids accepted will mean fewer open slots for others. But as we know that isn’t necessarily prejudice, it is life. 

[PRgal]

12 minutes ago, Affogato said:

 NOt sure what your point is here. Or where you are getting your data from, since it isn’t cited. But yes, I can easily imagine proactive programs to encourage more native American or black kids or hispanic kids to consider medicine as a profession. And if a medical school has, for interests of making it easy, only 100 slots open, maybe some of those kids accepted will mean fewer open slots for others. But as we know that isn’t necessarily prejudice, it is life. 

This is from a community paper in a Toronto suburb about the new medical school opening in the area.  I LOL at prioritizing students from "racialized" communities (i.e. non-White) because in the medical world, this DOES NOT include Asians.

One from the university itself

 

For a long time, the statement on their website included this:

Quote

As of Oct. 9, 75 per cent of admitted students will be selected from the dedicated diversity pathways. The Eye verified this source as TMU’s site has been changed and does not currently mention this quota.

^^^ this caused a lot of controversy.  "Diverse pathways" obviously doesn't mean "middle class White or Asian applicants."

 

And then, stateside, there was that situation with Mindy Kaling's brother (look it up) many years ago . 

[Ohiopirate02]

12 minutes ago, Affogato said:

 NOt sure what your point is here. Or where you are getting your data from, since it isn’t cited. But yes, I can easily imagine proactive programs to encourage more native American or black kids or hispanic kids to consider medicine as a profession. And if a medical school has, for interests of making it easy, only 100 slots open, maybe some of those kids accepted will mean fewer open slots for others. But as we know that isn’t necessarily prejudice, it is life. 

If a med school leaves a certain percentage of slots available to people from underserved communities like African-Americans, Hispanics, or Indigenous it is because of that adjective. Underserved, the people who the system has failed for decades and who have serious and complicated medical histories that need research and care. Medicine needs doctors and high level nurses from these communities in order to treat the communities effectively. We've had centuries of medicine where straight, white male is the default which results in treatment plans that work for them and them alone. Diseases that affect women and non-whites were largely ignored. The field is trying to correct the mistakes(and crimes) of the past, and it needs people from these communities in positions of power in order to do so.

[Affogato]

1 minute ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

If a med school leaves a certain percentage of slots available to people from underserved communities like African-Americans, Hispanics, or Indigenous it is because of that adjective. Underserved, the people who the system has failed for decades and who have serious and complicated medical histories that need research and care. Medicine needs doctors and high level nurses from these communities in order to treat the communities effectively. We've had centuries of medicine where straight, white male is the default which results in treatment plans that work for them and them alone. Diseases that affect women and non-whites were largely ignored. The field is trying to correct the mistakes(and crimes) of the past, and it needs people from these communities in positions of power in order to do so.

Yes, basically. 

[peacheslatour]

19 minutes ago, PRgal said:

This is from a community paper in a Toronto suburb about the new medical school opening in the area.  I LOL at prioritizing students from "racialized" communities (i.e. non-White) because in the medical world, this DOES NOT include Asians.

One from the university itself

 

 

 

 

And then, stateside, there was that situation with Mindy Kaling's brother (look it up) many years ago . 

The wealthy kid who faked being black?

[PRgal]

20 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

If a med school leaves a certain percentage of slots available to people from underserved communities like African-Americans, Hispanics, or Indigenous it is because of that adjective. Underserved, the people who the system has failed for decades and who have serious and complicated medical histories that need research and care. Medicine needs doctors and high level nurses from these communities in order to treat the communities effectively. We've had centuries of medicine where straight, white male is the default which results in treatment plans that work for them and them alone. Diseases that affect women and non-whites were largely ignored. The field is trying to correct the mistakes(and crimes) of the past, and it needs people from these communities in positions of power in order to do so.

I just laugh when they say "racialized" (Canadian for non-White) because in med school, this certainly doesn't mean Asian.

[Affogato]

24 minutes ago, PRgal said:

This is from a community paper in a Toronto suburb about the new medical school opening in the area.  I LOL at prioritizing students from "racialized" communities (i.e. non-White) because in the medical world, this DOES NOT include Asians.

One from the university itself

 

For a long time, the statement on their website included this:

^^^ this caused a lot of controversy.  "Diverse pathways" obviously doesn't mean "middle class White or Asian applicants."

 

And then, stateside, there was that situation with Mindy Kaling's brother (look it up) many years ago . 

Affirmative action has always had issues, especially in the US, which is one reason 47’s anti DEI stance has some traction with a lot of people.  It is confusing and makes people who usually don’t feel discriminated against, feel discriminated against. Yes, to some extent affirmative action, when practiced, can be a kind of reverse discrimination.  It is good this was being discussed in your local papers  as regards the new school. This is an implementation issue. 
 

 

 

 

Edited May 14 by Affogato

[Affogato]

7 minutes ago, PRgal said:

I just laugh when they say "racialized" (Canadian for non-White) because in med school, this certainly doesn't mean Asian.

To repeat myself

The data show that Asian and White applicants tend to get into medical school at roughly the same rate, whereas Hispanic or Latino applicants are slightly lower, and African American students have a markedly lower acceptance rate.

https://www.shemmassianconsulting.com/blog/medical-school-acceptance-rates-by-race

[PRgal]

2 minutes ago, Affogato said:

To repeat myself

The data show that Asian and White applicants tend to get into medical school at roughly the same rate, whereas Hispanic or Latino applicants are slightly lower, and African American students have a markedly lower acceptance rate.

https://www.shemmassianconsulting.com/blog/medical-school-acceptance-rates-by-race

This can be translated to White or Asian applicants need to stand out more in order to get in.  TBH, the schools should just actively recruit in under-represented communities (speakers at clubs targeting such students, for example) rather than have some sort of mission statement on their site (even though it's been removed from said school).  No different from undergrad programs going around the world to recruit kids.

[Kemper]

This is not a post to get "sorry feels" .... but here is my experience with Covid. My beloved Mr. Kemper (married 50 years) was diagnosed with cancer  about a month before Covid arrived. 

Like most others, we were isolated, other than FaceTime with family. Friends called.  We (Mr. Kemper and I) decided that it was too risky for family visits. His going for chemo and doctor appointments made it possible that both of us could have been exposed. 

Our daughter and family would drive to our house and then sit in front of our living room window. We would talk on the phone to them ... at least we were sort of face-to-face. Our son arrived (unexpectedly, from another state) and spent a week, working from the back of our house on his laptop. Friends would come to the back door, masked, and give me a casserole; sometimes precious toilet paper. They would usually be in tears; hardly any words were spoken. 

That is what Covid did to our family. It robbed all of us of the time we could have spent together, as a family, with Dad.  Even though we have "moved on" from the worst of the grief and sadness...my children blame Covid for robbing them of the chance to be here, 24/7, for their parents. 

I know that there are stories way way worse than mine. It is an example (not really maybe a good one) of what a pandemic can do. To all of us. So I don't want to hear an effing word from Kenny Bobbity about vaccines. Or the arrogant, know-it-all, selfish, entitled complaints and defiance of those who "know better" than medical experts. Yes, as someone upthread stated, God Help Us All.

Edited May 14 by Kemper

[BetyBee]

We were retired, so we weren't terribly affected by Covid, except for not being able to see my elderly Mom or my grandkids for far too long! My sister and her husband passed away during Covid (2021), but not from Covid. We got vaxxed as soon as we could & have kept up with boosters. My husband and I still haven't had Covid!

I think kids who had to do remote learning, including high school and college kids, have been very much affected by the pandemic. It's just a completely different experience and I worry about how it has changed that generation. We were extremely fortunate not to lose anyone close to us due to Covid. Those were heartbreaking times and life isn't exactly rosy these days either!

[Anela]

I just wish that I’d shut down social media, and not paid so much attention to everything. And I need to do that where trump is concerned now.  

[Ohiopirate02]

8 minutes ago, Anela said:

I just wish that I’d shut down social media, and not paid so much attention to everything. And I need to do that where trump is concerned now.  

I carve out at least an hour of my waking day to unplug from everything. No TV, no social media, no reading articles on line, no political discussion of any sort. This has really helped me stay sane since November. I read a book, take a walk, go out to eat with friends, a yoga class, etc. Just something where I do not think about him.

[shapeshifter]

3 hours ago, DrSpaceman73 said:

In regard to air force one, if that is the type of thing we know he is getting from foreign countries, imagine everything we aren't being told about. 

He stopped at UAE on his current tour. UAE doesn’t have an extradition treaty with the United States. I can’t help wondering if they gave him a “vacation” home.

[lookeyloo]

1 hour ago, Kemper said:

This is not a post to get "sorry feels" .... but here is my experience with Covid. My beloved Mr. Kemper (married 50 years) was diagnosed with cancer  about a month before Covid arrived. 

Like most others, we were isolated, other than FaceTime with family. Friends called.  We (Mr. Kemper and I) decided that it was too risky for family visits. His going for chemo and doctor appointments made it possible that both of us could have been exposed. 

Our daughter and family would drive to our house and then sit in front of our living room window. We would talk on the phone to them ... at least we were sort of face-to-face. Our son arrived (unexpectedly, from another state) and spent a week, working from the back of our house on his laptop. Friends would come to the back door, masked, and give me a casserole; sometimes precious toilet paper. They would usually be in tears; hardly any words were spoken. 

That is what Covid did to our family. It robbed all of us of the time we could have spent together, as a family, with Dad.  Even though we have "moved on" from the worst of the grief and sadness...my children blame Covid for robbing them of the chance to be here, 24/7, for their parents. 

I know that there are stories way way worse than mine. It is an example (not really maybe a good one) of what a pandemic can do. To all of us. So I don't want to hear an effing word from Kenny Bobbity about vaccines. Or the arrogant, know-it-all, selfish, entitled complaints and defiance of those who "know better" than medical experts. Yes, as someone upthread stated, God Help Us All.

I understand what you are saying.  Similar experience yet different.  Sweet Son was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer end of August 2019.  We live close enough to be there regularly.  As he got sicker we were there more.  Then in March, 2020 he texted me when I was at the gym.  He said "You can't go there anymore, there is a virus and I need you to take care of me".  I said goodbye to the gym and eventually we moved in with him and his husband to stay mostly.  We were of course isolated because of COVID and him terrified of US getting it, not him.  As something that was positive, he wanted to do some things, but was getting too sick, and I said, even if you were healthy, we couldn't do those things anyway right now.  So he didn't feel like his sickness was preventing it.  It was, but still... Some "special" people came and masked and distanced.  And towards the end, he wanted his brother, (who lives across the country and had visited) and the family got there two days before he died.  It was still COVID and awful.  So, I do understand the misery of it all.  And you are right about "Kenny Bobbity" who is an awful human being.  Or, a human being behaving awfully. 💔

[Anela]

I hate him.

Trump Administration Announces that FDA Will Consider Imposing Greater Restrictions on Medication Abortion Nationwide

Mifepristone Has Been Proven Safe and Used by Millions for Abortion and Miscarriage Care for Over 25 Years

https://www.aclu.org/press-releases/trump-administration-announces-that-fda-will-consider-imposing-greater-restrictions-on-medication-abortion-nationwide

Quote

WASHINGTON — At a Senate hearing today, Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) Secretary Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., announced that he has directed the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) to undertake a review of its regulations on mifepristone, a safe and effective medication used in most U.S. abortions and as part of a gold-standard treatment regimen for miscarriage. There is no scientific basis for this review, which Kennedy indicated will center on a fatally-flawed paper on mifepristone’s safety recently released by the Ethics and Public Policy Center, a Project 2025 sponsor organization. Kennedy also stated that the FDA’s “policy changes will ultimately go through the White House, through President Trump.”

“Secretary Kennedy just revealed that he has ordered the FDA to consider making it harder for people to get medication abortions based on propaganda pushed out by a Project 2025 sponsor,” said Julia Kaye, senior staff attorney for the Reproductive Freedom Project at the American Civil Liberties Union. “Even leading anti-abortion advocates admit this junk science is ‘not a study in the traditional sense,’ and is ‘not conclusive proof of anything,’ but that clearly won’t stop extremist politicians from waving it around as a basis to restrict abortion.

 

[Annber03]

What part of "stay out of our bodies" do these assholes not get? 

[Browncoat]

38 minutes ago, Anela said:

Kennedy indicated will center on a fatally-flawed paper on mifepristone’s safety recently released by the Ethics and Public Policy Center,

So this fatally flawed paper gets further scrutiny, but the fatally flawed paper on the "connection" between vaccines and autism gets a pass?  Alrighty then.

Assholes.

[Absolom]

6 hours ago, Affogato said:

I still wear a mask when I go out. Not generally outdoors and I do go to restaurants, but on public transportation, theaters, public buildings. Although older I don’t have autoimmune stuff going on. I probably will do it for the rest of my life.

I'm older with two potentially fatal diseases.  I, too, will wear masks in public the rest of my life.  It isn't just COVID my doctors fuss about any more.  Now it's RSV, flu, COVID, and a couple others all of which run the risk of inviting pneumonia to the party.

[Absolom]

3 hours ago, Anela said:

I just wish that I’d shut down social media, and not paid so much attention to everything. And I need to do that where trump is concerned now.  

This thread is the only place I read about Trump and I deliberately do not read every post.  I skip A LOT.  My sanity and nerves require that.

[Yeah No]

10 hours ago, bluegirl147 said:

Rolling back DEI policies sure does look like going back to the days of white men getting preference simply because they are white men.  I recognize the Democratic party has lost a lot of white men, especially young white men. It doesn't help when you have people like Andrew Tate and Joe Rogan playing to their worst fears.  That they are no longer needed nor wanted.  Part of it is economics and part of it is personal.  I live in a blue collar state and if you are a man without a college degree you are less likely to have a job that is going to provide you a good salary with benefits.  That is just the reality.  But these men expect to find a job that is going to pay them $20 an hour and if they can't then it's because some "DEI" person has all those jobs. 

It also doesn't help when they apply for many jobs and don't get them, then find out (when possible) they went to a woman and/or POC. I've already said I personally know of a few cases of this going back a couple of decades now. And in all cases these were not men from wealthy backgrounds with connections. They were middle and lower middle class white men from humble circumstances who have to struggle to get a job. They don't just sail in and get it handed to them. These are the men being shut out. The wealthy, powerful and connected white men are the ones that don't have to compete with DEI to get a job. They have more advantages and yes privileges of a different sort that make them immune to it. So the lower class white men are paying for their sins so to speak. And that's not fair, IMHO. And that's why I say it's no wonder the lower class white men are backlashing at DEI. I agree with the sentiment of DEI but think it's a flawed solution that only creates a different kind of discrimination. I'm not for no solution, I just think we need to look for a better solution.

It might surprise you to find out that minorities are disproportionately represented in government jobs when compared to their numbers in the general population. (Check with Google AI on that and it will tell you.) Some fields are making a point to hire minorities (specifically Blacks and Hispanics) to the exclusion of anyone else. And their representation in government jobs is not spread out evenly across the country. In some areas you would be in a small minority in a government job as a white person. A HS classmate of mine was employed in such a situation. She was in a small minority of white people in her government agency. And she was a victim of a hostile work environment. To make matters worse she was had very good reason to believe it was because she was white. I know this woman for over 50 years and let me tell you, a kinder, sweeter, more liberal soul you'd never want to meet. But this experience changed and soured her. She fought back for a while and then just decided to quit. It wasn't worth fighting it. They pushed her out. I felt her pain. Then she confided in me in 2016 at our last reunion that she voted for Trump. I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT!!! I did not agree with her choice but I actually understood why after witnessing her through that horrible situation. We've lost touch in the past few years since she got married (finally!) and retired. I don't know if she's still a Trump supporter now as she doesn't post about that on SM. I almost don't want to find out. 

[Yeah No]

8 hours ago, Mollywolly555 said:

Dating someone you meet online, as opposed to someone you met in person at college, sports, friends/relatives of friends, etc,., as in the pre-Internet days, is scary.

Instead of the term, "adversarial", I would use  the term, "self-protective" for women.

I went on 34 dates with guys I met on an online dating site after separating from my husband for several years. I never shared my last name or address or phone, and waited for them to drive away before going to my car.  A few wanted sex asap, like before the main course came. Others were ok; a few more dates here and there. Dating became somewhat tiresome, actually, because we just didn't connect significantly. 

I did have a 5 years-long relationship with one before breaking up, and returning to my husband. That one is still a casual friend I talk to online occasionally, but nothing romantically, as he has health issues, and few family around to help sometimes. 

Scary news stories contribute to my own self-protection translating into being aware of my circumstances and locale, as I travel alone frequently. 

Also, too many women were taught to be concerned with others' feelings before their own, leading to potentially dicey situations.  

I can't believe how similar our experiences have been! I too was separated from my husband for several years before getting back with him and coincidentally enough I met 33 men in that time from dating sites. And boy did I learn a LOT about what online dating is like having never done it before! Like you, I didn't really have a special connection with pretty much any of them except for one, which lasted a while but that didn't work out either and now we are good friends. It was one crazy story after another. Guys misrepresenting themselves, some weird and creepy, some with obvious issues galore. And yes, the pervs and guys that only "wanted one thing". All it took was one date to find out. The stories I could tell!!!

One thing I would never do is meet any of them in a private place. I got asked over for dinner by some guys on first dates, but always declined and told them I'd rather meet "for coffee" somewhere public. I felt that was a yellow flag as I figured a man should know that's not really appropriate. And then I'd make sure it was in a bustling part of town where I'd never be alone with them on a quiet street. I also never let them know my full name, address and place of work either. And thank goodness I didn't in some cases! I never had any problem putting on the brakes or telling any of them I felt uncomfortable with something. Of course I was closer to 50 than 40 at the time so I was past giving in just to be agreeable.

Anyway, that's amazing how we had such a similar experience!

[Spartan Girl]

1 hour ago, Anela said:

I hate him.

Trump Administration Announces that FDA Will Consider Imposing Greater Restrictions on Medication Abortion Nationwide

Mifepristone Has Been Proven Safe and Used by Millions for Abortion and Miscarriage Care for Over 25 Years

https://www.aclu.org/press-releases/trump-administration-announces-that-fda-will-consider-imposing-greater-restrictions-on-medication-abortion-nationwide

 

To everyone that just shrugged when we tried to tell them that this would happen if Trump won

[Yeah No]

8 hours ago, PRgal said:

As for DEI and POC, well, in many cases, it's CERTAIN POC.  Try getting into med school if you're middle class+ and Asian.

I get upset when I think about my high school, the Bronx HS of Science. It has been under fire for having too many Asians, something like 64% as of 2021 per Google AI. Meanwhile it is 20% White and only 5% Black and 5% Hispanic. But the thing is you have to pass a test to get in. So people are not being passed over on race, it's either because they're not taking the test or they're flunking it. So a few years back there were people calling for doing away with the test, which was unpopular because it is a HS for high academic achievers. But then they realized the real problem is that not enough Blacks and Hispanics are taking the test to begin with, so the real issue is attracting them. 

When I went to Bx Science 50 years ago there were more Blacks and Hispanics in attendance than now. Like twice as many more, percentage-wise if you can believe that. It was predominantly White, like 70% or so but most of that White population was Jewish. And Asians maybe made up 5% (I once did my own informal research on this using yearbooks so I don't have links or real stats on this).

Why there were more Blacks and Hispanics back then than now is a mystery to me. But I think there are more Asians now because more people have immigrated from Asia since 50 years ago, some especially to take advantage of the academic opportunities here. It pisses me off when White Americans act like Asians are somehow privileged and shouldn't be treated as minorities. Many of them are refugees to this country, like my husband's boss's family and come from humble roots looking for an opportunity to achieve here like many refugees of other races. And I feel that it is hypocritical to discriminate against them in favor of other minorities. Obviously they're not getting into the school because they're White. The test is color blind. If some people think there are "too many Asians" at Bronx Science compared to other minorities, address how they can attract them to the school and the underlying reasons why they may not pass the test. It's a verbal/mathematics test so if there are inequities in their education in these subjects, that should be addressed directly. If it's because of social issues and inequities that impede their getting a good education, address those issues directly. But don't try to keep Asians out of the school if they qualify or lower the standards only for specific groups. That would in effect discriminate against Asians. It would not be one of the best high schools in the state or even the country in general if it lowered its standards. And I would not be in favor of that.

[SoMuchTV]

23 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

If some people think there are "too many Asians" at Bronx Science compared to other minorities, address how they can attract them to the school and the underlying reasons why they may not pass the test.

Nope, that would be DEI and we don’t do that anymore! /sarcasm, if that’s not obvious 

[Yeah No]

 

7 hours ago, Affogato said:

I think a lot if people who had nice houses. Could stay in. Didn’t have intimates die. didn’t have to juggle schools and children. Had a well developed support system. And so on.

Did okay. 
 

to add, In retrospect I didn’t i was unable to exercise enough. Unable to work from home. Lost many social outlets. Also got stuck where I was in survival mode. 

I know I've already shared my pandemic sob story several times, but for anyone that hasn't heard it, I lost my 92 year old father to Covid in April of 2020. He was my last living close blood relative. I went through hell with that because he died when 700 people A DAY were dying in NYC. I couldn't have a funeral for him. I couldn't even go to NYC at all when he was still alive in the hospital. I had to beg them to get a phone to him and even when they did I could barely talk to him as they had him on oxygen. They were in a state of crisis and didn't know what they were dealing with yet. They had to ship his body to PA to be cremated. I didn't have any other option. And that only happened after a month. They told me he was not in a refrigerated truck like so many others but I don't know if I believe that.

My husband lost his limousine business as no one was traveling. We were afraid and in crisis. I was deathly afraid of catching Covid. I thought if my father died of it maybe I was vulnerable too. I was already over 60 when it hit and had a history of getting bad viruses that took a long time to go away.

I was employed by my husband doing office work for his business so I ended up collecting unemployment insurance, then pandemic unemployment. My husband was able to take out one of those pandemic loans and sell his 2 limos. But we were barely surviving even so. I didn't see most of my friends for a very long time. My life slowed down to a crawl. Whatever social life I had left was gone. If not for my husband and one local friend I didn't see anyone for I don't know how long. In some cases over a year. That was not good for me as I was grieving and had the rug pulled out from under my life. I didn't need the isolation.

Then my father's good friend and helper died in 2021. I had just seen her for the first time since my father's death about 5 months before her sudden, unexpected death. She was in her late 70s but as far as anyone knew there was no reason for her to die and I never found out the cause of her death. We had just exchanged text messages 2 days before her death. I was wondering why I didn't hear back from her. Then I got a text from her son that she died in her sleep.

Then I lost another friend and I'm still wondering why. She was one of my closest and best friends for 20 years and suddenly withdrew from me with no explanation in 2021. I have theories, most of which involve possible mental illness and/or a brain tumor, which she had recently told me started growing again. Again, I didn't need that on top of everything else. It was devastating, especially not knowing the reason why.

If not for my husband's rich client who hired him as his personal driver I don't know what would have happened to us. I never did get a job and after a couple of years I realized it just wasn't going to happen so I gave up. 

I still have some PTSD from the pandemic. I don't think I'll ever be the same. I feel like the world got worse because of it and hasn't fully gone back to the way it was before. I still wear masks during cold and flu season. Not so much at this time of year but I still will put one on in crowded areas and in doctor's offices. I keep them handy at all times. I did get Covid in 2023 and survived it OK, but it took a full month to fully go away. I was afraid I had long Covid. So I'm not as scared of it as I was but I am still never going to be careless. I was still regularly wearing a mask in public until about a month ago and will again when cold and flu season is back or I hear about another outbreak of something.

[Eri]

56 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

Why there were more Blacks and Hispanics back then than now is a mystery to me.

The mystery is segregation and gentrification 😉 

Poverty is always a factor worth considering when talking about school diversity. Black and Hispanic students are much more likely to attend a school where more than 75% of students experience poverty. And New York City public schools remain some of the most segregated in the country even when affirmative action was in place. And I say this as someone who was born in the South lol.

There was an NYT article a while back that reported about how Black and Hispanic enrollment plummeted to 14 percent from 50 percent for some of NYC's "elite" public schools and the social inequities that contributed to this, but I hate the NYT and its sanewashing of this administration right now so I won't try to find it 😜

Edited May 15 by Eri

[Affogato]

3 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

 

I know I've already shared my pandemic sob story several times, but for anyone that hasn't heard it, I lost my 92 year old father to Covid in April of 2020. He was my last living close blood relative. I went through hell with that because he died when 700 people A DAY were dying in NYC. I couldn't have a funeral for him. I couldn't even go to NYC at all when he was still alive in the hospital. I had to beg them to get a phone to him and even when they did I could barely talk to him as they had him on oxygen. They were in a state of crisis and didn't know what they were dealing with yet. They had to ship his body to PA to be cremated. I didn't have any other option. And that only happened after a month. They told me he was not in a refrigerated truck like so many others but I don't know if I believe that.

My husband lost his limousine business as no one was traveling. We were afraid and in crisis. I was deathly afraid of catching Covid. I thought if my father died of it maybe I was vulnerable too. I was already over 60 when it hit and had a history of getting bad viruses that took a long time to go away.

I was employed by my husband doing office work for his business so I ended up collecting unemployment insurance, then pandemic unemployment. My husband was able to take out one of those pandemic loans and sell his 2 limos. But we were barely surviving even so. I didn't see most of my friends for a very long time. My life slowed down to a crawl. Whatever social life I had left was gone. If not for my husband and one local friend I didn't see anyone for I don't know how long. In some cases over a year. That was not good for me as I was grieving and had the rug pulled out from under my life. I didn't need the isolation.

Then my father's good friend and helper died in 2021. I had just seen her for the first time since my father's death about 5 months before her sudden, unexpected death. She was in her late 70s but as far as anyone knew there was no reason for her to die and I never found out the cause of her death. We had just exchanged text messages 2 days before her death. I was wondering why I didn't hear back from her. Then I got a text from her son that she died in her sleep.

Then I lost another friend and I'm still wondering why. She was one of my closest and best friends for 20 years and suddenly withdrew from me with no explanation in 2021. I have theories, most of which involve possible mental illness and/or a brain tumor, which she had recently told me started growing again. Again, I didn't need that on top of everything else. It was devastating, especially not knowing the reason why.

If not for my husband's rich client who hired him as his personal driver I don't know what would have happened to us. I never did get a job and after a couple of years I realized it just wasn't going to happen so I gave up. 

I still have some PTSD from the pandemic. I don't think I'll ever be the same. I feel like the world got worse because of it and hasn't fully gone back to the way it was before. I still wear masks during cold and flu season. Not so much at this time of year but I still will put one on in crowded areas and in doctor's offices. I keep them handy at all times. I did get Covid in 2023 and survived it OK, but it took a full month to fully go away. I was afraid I had long Covid. So I'm not as scared of it as I was but I am still never going to be careless. I was still regularly wearing a mask in public until about a month ago and will again when cold and flu season is back or I hear about another outbreak of something.

I’m sorry for the hard things that happened. It sounds very difficult. I remember watching someone die over zoom, she had decided not to go on a ventilator. It was strange trying to support someone from a distance. 

I am not sure people learned much from the pandemic, except maybe how to use zoom. That is too bad, because it was hard for a lot of people and it somehow feels like we should have learned to be better people going forward. Instead, sometimes it feels as if we’ve learned the opposite lesson. 

2 hours ago, Absolom said:

I'm older with two potentially fatal diseases.  I, too, will wear masks in public the rest of my life.  It isn't just COVID my doctors fuss about any more.  Now it's RSV, flu, COVID, and a couple others all of which run the risk of inviting pneumonia to the party.

Now we have to be concerned about whether updated vaccinations will be prepard and distributed, at all or in a timely fashion.