S17.E19: Sex, Lies & Questionable Behavior

[Yeah No]

8 hours ago, princelina said:

Yeah he's definitely a dick - no question.  She should just be at the point where she gets that now.  For some reason she just can't make it here.

I addressed this in the spoiler thread but I think Becca has a lot invested in this relationship having married the guy and obviously not being a faker and really wanting a lifelong commitment.  That plus being lead on by him to see hope there makes it harder to let go than if it were only a dating relationship.  That also makes it more hurtful to deal with the fact that it's not working out.  On top of all that the fact that the "experts" are encouraging her to "hang in there" makes it even harder.

 

[Yeah No]

13 hours ago, Chatty Cake said:

Sometimes you can tell if someone smells just by looking at their unkempt selves. Poor Becca is in this category. 
He was definitely stringing her along, most likely to keep his camera time.  But he did snuggle with her and put on a good show so shame on him for doing that when he had no intention of sealing the deal. I do think he liked her more initially but all the communication and crying probably got on his nerves. 

I would have liked your post but for the part about Becca "smelling".  Until we have "smellovision" that's probably not possible to tell no matter how she looks.  I don't look my best when first I get out of the shower and before I've done my hair and makeup, but I can guarantee you that I don't smell then, so looks can be deceiving.  I think Becca is looking disheveled at this point after weeks of being on a roller coaster with this guy and she's at her emotional and wit's end.  But I don't think even that necessarily means that she's not taking care of her personal hygiene.  I've actually seen this before on this show with women in toxic match-ups looking more stressed out and tired as the season progresses and not looking their best.

Also, as @Gator Stud pointed out, Becca looked much better on the Afterparty so it looks like she got past it eventually.  Hopefully she got away from this guy and that's why.

[Empress1]

14 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

I think he always liked her as a person but I think he wasn’t ever physically attracted to her. They’d make good friends but I don’t think that’s in the cards for them - at least not in the near future. 

Yep. She’ll have to get over him first. If they want to be friends they need a stretch of no contact and he’ll need to take his cue from her re: getting back in touch. (I firmly believe that no contact is the best way to get over someone, wherever possible. Obviously if you have kids you have to talk, but that’s not in play here.) She’ll get hurt again (or still) if they try try to downshift to just friends too quickly. 

[Elizzikra]

1 hour ago, Yeah No said:

I would have liked your post but for the part about Becca "smelling".  Until we have "smellovision" that's probably not possible to tell no matter how she looks.  I don't look my best when first I get out of the shower and before I've done my hair and makeup, but I can guarantee you that I don't smell then, so looks can be deceiving. 

@Gator Stud

Agreed. It reminds me of Mindy from DC getting a rep for “smelling” because we never saw it and her horrible husband couldn’t stand to be around her.

[Gator Stud]

20 hours ago, Chatty Cake said:

He was definitely stringing her along, most likely to keep his camera time.

What is the fine if you are honest and drop out? You say it is about camera time, but what if its really about not paying a fine?

6 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I addressed this in the spoiler thread but I think Becca has a lot invested in this relationship having married the guy and obviously not being a faker and really wanting a lifelong commitment.  That plus being lead on by him to see hope there makes it harder to let go than if it were only a dating relationship.  That also makes it more hurtful to deal with the fact that it's not working out.  On top of all that the fact that the "experts" are encouraging her to "hang in there" makes it even harder.

I think the rule of thumb is that if a guy you are living with 24/7 doesn't have sex with you for 2 weeks, he is not into you sexually.  I know there are exceptions.  Why would Becca think Austin was into her after the first month.

[cinsays]

42 minutes ago, Gator Stud said:

What is the fine if you are honest and drop out? You say it is about camera time, but what if its really about not paying a fine?

I think the rule of thumb is that if a guy you are living with 24/7 doesn't have sex with you for 2 weeks, he is not into you sexually.  I know there are exceptions.  Why would Becca think Austin was into her after the first month.

he doesn't really seem to want any camera time, so that does not make sense to me.  he thought they were actually trying to find him a match. he was wrong.

[Yeah No]

1 hour ago, Gator Stud said:

I think the rule of thumb is that if a guy you are living with 24/7 doesn't have sex with you for 2 weeks, he is not into you sexually.  I know there are exceptions.  Why would Becca think Austin was into her after the first month.

At the risk of repeating myself (I know, that ship has sailed already), for a long time he seemed to be actively trying to convince her to hang in there, that he just needed more time, that he takes longer than other guys to be ready for sex in a relationship, that it was not her, yada, yada, yada, plus he was kissing her, cuddling, engaging in all sorts of PDA on camera and actually acting a bit offended when she acted like she felt rejected by him despite his saying and doing certain things to make her question how into her he really was.  That plus with the experts telling her to hang in there and her already having made the commitment of marriage, it was easy for her to get confused about how he really felt about her.  She wants to believe him and the experts that she should stick it out, but she is getting mixed signals from him and that's only making her unable to trust her better sense that he isn't into her.  I don't blame her one bit in that situation.

[Crashcourse]

If a guy was petting and cuddling me like a fucking golden retriever for weeks without sex, I would definitely get the message that he's not interested in having sex with me.  Becca can cry all she wants, but she's known from the get-go that he wasn't interested.  She should ignore the "experts," chill out until Decision Day and hope she gets to say NO first.  

[Yeah No]

9 hours ago, Crashcourse said:

If a guy was petting and cuddling me like a fucking golden retriever for weeks without sex, I would definitely get the message that he's not interested in having sex with me.  Becca can cry all she wants, but she's known from the get-go that he wasn't interested.  She should ignore the "experts," chill out until Decision Day and hope she gets to say NO first.  

No disrespect, but I think that might be easier to say from the outside not being in the situation of falling for someone as hard as she seems to have with this guy.  She just married the guy.  Of course she wants to believe him at his word in telling her to have patience, that he just needs time, etc.  Even in this episode Austin himself said in front of the experts something to the effect that he doesn't know how to communicate to her that he's really all in with her and attracted to her (which I don't believe but I'm much older, not in love with the guy nor do I have a lot invested in him either).  I don't know a lot of people after hearing that in that situation, which is even more complicated due to the experts encouraging her to stick with it, who would be able to be coldly rational about this and resist what everyone, including the guy is telling them and say "No, you're lying to me, I'm outta here".  He's acting like she's the one with the problem for not trusting him.  Like she's being insecure for no reason.  Of course she wants to believe him and I'm sure the experts are encouraging her to do that.  I have watched the scenes in this episode twice just to be sure I'm getting it right and that's pretty clear to me, but YMMW, what can I say?

I can only hope that she starts listening to her better sense before decision day and gets up the strength to say "no".

Edited March 5 by Yeah No

[Yeah No]

I know the next question is how she could fall for such a douche whether or not he was into her.  I could get down on her for that myself because I don't know what she sees in him, but I don't know how much I want to find fault with a person that came on this show with actual good intentions when so many of them are frauds and fakers, including possibly Austin.  She is following through on what the show is supposed to be all about.  She is trying to find the best in her partner in good faith and sticking it out for better or worse.  I can't fault her for that.  She may be a bit immature and does things that may sabotage herself and the relationship in the big picture, but at least her heart is genuine where it really counts.  That's a lot more than can be said for most of these bozos. 

[seacliffsal]

I think Becca may be more savvy than we are crediting her.  She may be playing to long game-create viewer sympathy and see what one may parlay from this show after it ends.  There are a few ways to try to guarantee more camera time on this show.  The most obvious way is to be a full on jerk/villain.  But, another way is to be the innocent victim who just wants to find love.  I am not saying that she is playing the game and the audience but I am saying it could be a possibility.

[Yeah No]

1 hour ago, seacliffsal said:

I think Becca may be more savvy than we are crediting her.  She may be playing to long game-create viewer sympathy and see what one may parlay from this show after it ends.  There are a few ways to try to guarantee more camera time on this show.  The most obvious way is to be a full on jerk/villain.  But, another way is to be the innocent victim who just wants to find love.  I am not saying that she is playing the game and the audience but I am saying it could be a possibility.

I think somebody else said something similar upthread, but she would have to be quite an actress to fake the emotion and "victimhood" she has displayed on camera so consistently.  Meryl Streep would have nothing on her, LOL.

Also, I'm no expert but one way I can tell whether someone's a faker is if their body language and "micro-expressions" when they don't think anyone's looking don't match their words.  I have seen such behavior from most of them on this show, including Chloe, but Becca's non-verbal expressions and behavior have been 100% consistent (in my opinion) with what she says and have been consistent over time, too.  I haven't seen her contradict herself or send mixed messages.  She's pretty much a straight-shooter.

[Rightside]

Is our national nightmare over tonight?

The easy part is most of them are already at separate places so they won't need to decide who stays at the apartment!!

[Elizzikra]

16 minutes ago, Rightside said:

Is our national nightmare over tonight?

The easy part is most of them are already at separate places so they won't need to decide who stays at the apartment!!

I think there is a part 2? Plus isn’t there always a “where are they now” or whatever?

[Yeah No]

1 hour ago, Rightside said:

Is our national nightmare over tonight?

I think you mean tomorrow night.

54 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

I think there is a part 2? Plus isn’t there always a “where are they now” or whatever?

I wish there was an "ugh" emoji because not only is there a "Decision Day Round 1" episode tomorrow lasting 127 minutes, but next week there's a "Climbing down from Decision Day" episode on the 13th lasting 96 minutes!  And no sign of a "Decision Day Round 2" episode either which is confusing.  For Chrissakes, they're milking this crap for all it's worth!

[Rightside]

6 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

I think you mean tomorrow night.

I wish there was an "ugh" emoji because not only is there a "Decision Day Round 1" episode tomorrow lasting 127 minutes, but next week there's a "Climbing down from Decision Day" episode on the 13th lasting 96 minutes!  And no sign of a "Decision Day Round 2" episode either which is confusing.  For Chrissakes, they're milking this crap for all it's worth!

Oh yes, you're right, it is tomorrow!! Guess I was thinking too much about the dramatic music with Brennan and Emily sitting a mile apart on the couch and no chance in hell he is going to want to stay married!

At least the show won't need to order bottles of champagne this season!!!

[seacliffsal]

19 minutes ago, Rightside said:

Oh yes, you're right, it is tomorrow!! Guess I was thinking too much about the dramatic music with Brennan and Emily sitting a mile apart on the couch and no chance in hell he is going to want to stay married!

At least the show won't need to order bottles of champagne this season!!!

Oh, I think that there will be a LOT of celebrating after Decision Day, but not the type the producers want...

[Hip-to-be-Square]

 I don't need a "Where Are They Now" unless it's a shot of Clare getting her chunky YELLOW GREEN highlights color corrected at a salon! 😏

Edited March 5 by Hip-to-be-Square

[Katie111]

I'm getting annoyed in this thread by the constant use of the term "frat boy" to describe Austin.  It seems to be used interchangeably with the word "dick".   My son is in a frat, actually in Denver, and actually does sometimes wear a backwards baseball hat.   But after spending a lot of time with him and his frat brothers, "dick" would be the last word I would use to describe any of them.  Sure they like to have a good time, but they are also some of the kindest, most respectful young men I have ever met.  

[Elizzikra]

2 hours ago, Katie111 said:

I'm getting annoyed in this thread by the constant use of the term "frat boy" to describe Austin.  It seems to be used interchangeably with the word "dick".   My son is in a frat, actually in Denver, and actually does sometimes wear a backwards baseball hat.   But after spending a lot of time with him and his frat brothers, "dick" would be the last word I would use to describe any of them.  Sure they like to have a good time, but they are also some of the kindest, most respectful young men I have ever met.  

I think Brennan is a dick and I’m sure I’ve called him that. I tend to think of “frat boy” as a younger guy who is pretty casual, likes to party and watch the game with his bros, and wears the baseball hat (backwards or not). I don’t think that I’ve used that term to describe anyone so I’m not sure how others are using it here.

I don’t think Austin is a dick but I could see him as a frat boy. I think he genuinely likes Emily and I think at least part of him hoped for a good match when he came on the show. But alas, liking Emily as a person and being sexually attracted to her are two different things. I think he tried and I think he might even have fallen for the “experts’” assurances that things would develop in that area, but they haven’t. I like him and Emily about the same actually; I think they are two nice enough people who just aren’t a good match.

[Yeah No]

4 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

I don’t think Austin is a dick but I could see him as a frat boy. I think he genuinely likes Emily and I think at least part of him hoped for a good match when he came on the show. But alas, liking Emily as a person and being sexually attracted to her are two different things. I think he tried and I think he might even have fallen for the “experts’” assurances that things would develop in that area, but they haven’t. I like him and Emily about the same actually; I think they are two nice enough people who just aren’t a good match.

I think you meant Becca.

Boom Boom, two in a row, I'll be here all night folks, try the veal!  😉

[Elizzikra]

1 hour ago, Yeah No said:

I think you meant Becca.

Boom Boom, two in a row, I'll be here all night folks, try the veal!  😉

I did. 

I don’t have any idea what Austin thinks of Emily.

It’s been a day.

[Crashcourse]

14 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I have watched the scenes in this episode twice just to be sure I'm getting it right and that's pretty clear to me, but YMMW, what can I say?

That's all that needs to be said.  You have your opinions, and I have mine.

 

[ByTor]

7 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I'm no expert

Well, neither are "the experts," so it's all good 😂 

[Retired at last]

I can see the frat boy reference for Austin, but because of his age, he is acting immature, as opposed to real frat boys, who are in college and finding their way. 

8 hours ago, Rightside said:

The easy part is most of them are already at separate places so they won't need to decide who stays at the apartment!!

Well, no one will be in the apartments since they always separate before they go to D Day. So, the guys already left, but the girls still have to leave.

[Chatty Cake]

On 3/4/2024 at 9:49 AM, Yeah No said:

I would have liked your post but for the part about Becca "smelling".  Until we have "smellovision" that's probably not possible to tell no matter how she looks.  I don't look my best when first I get out of the shower and before I've done my hair and makeup, but I can guarantee you that I don't smell then, so looks can be deceiving.  I think Becca is looking disheveled at this point after weeks of being on a roller coaster with this guy and she's at her emotional and wit's end.  But I don't think even that necessarily means that she's not taking care of her personal hygiene.  I've actually seen this before on this show with women in toxic match-ups looking more stressed out and tired as the season progresses and not looking their best.

Also, as @Gator Stud pointed out, Becca looked much better on the Afterparty so it looks like she got past it eventually.  Hopefully she got away from this guy and that's why.

He really cringed when she went for his jacket. It wasn’t just the clay. He didn’t want his jacket to smell like her. It might just be her natural smell that repulses him and not a run of the mill body odor. Nose piercings can cause a smell too because there is often infection or inflammation.

Becca and Emily were both very dense and one of the so called experts should have intervened instead of encouraging them to communicate and give them assignments that the guys didn’t want to do. It would have been entertaining if one of them purposely did things to irritate the guys. Becca for instance could have hidden all Austin’s baseball caps while he slept. 

[Kimboweena]

8 hours ago, Katie111 said:

I'm getting annoyed in this thread by the constant use of the term "frat boy" to describe Austin.

I believe Emily was also called a loose, partying "sorority girl."  We are not all like that, I certainly wasn't! ☺️

[Yeah No]

26 minutes ago, Chatty Cake said:

He really cringed when she went for his jacket. It wasn’t just the clay. He didn’t want his jacket to smell like her. It might just be her natural smell that repulses him and not a run of the mill body odor. Nose piercings can cause a smell too because there is often infection or inflammation.

Speaking of the sense of smell and sexual attraction, studies have shown that not only do women have a keener sense of smell than men do, but a potential mate's scent is is more important to women's sexual attraction than it is to men, who are generally more visually oriented.  There are many reasons Austin might not be attracted to Becca that have nothing to do with her scent, many of which we have already witnessed, and something like her scent that we have no way of experiencing is what I would consider more of a conjecture.  Again, YMMV.

[Chatty Cake]

7 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Speaking of the sense of smell and sexual attraction, studies have shown that not only do women have a keener sense of smell than men do, but a potential mate's scent is is more important to women's sexual attraction than it is to men, who are generally more visually oriented.  There are many reasons Austin might not be attracted to Becca that have nothing to do with her scent, many of which we have already witnessed, and something like her scent that we have no way of experiencing is what I would consider more of a conjecture.  Again, YMMV.

Someone as young as Becca with health issues they enjoy complaining about that could be taken care of with diet and exercise most liKelly aren’t that into their hygiene either. I’ve worked with someone similar to Becca and recognize the laziness right away. Not saying Austin is a prize. He also gives off lazy dope vibes but expected a beauty queen.

[Yeah No]

2 hours ago, Chatty Cake said:

Someone as young as Becca with health issues they enjoy complaining about that could be taken care of with diet and exercise most liKelly aren’t that into their hygiene either. I’ve worked with someone similar to Becca and recognize the laziness right away. Not saying Austin is a prize. He also gives off lazy dope vibes but expected a beauty queen.

Respectfully, I think that's a very broad generalization.  From just what we've seen in some scenes on this show Becca puts a lot into her makeup and getting ready.  She often wears a lot of makeup and usually in my experience women that do that don't neglect their hygiene.  It takes a lot of effort to put on that amount of makeup and they have shown her actually applying it.  So I see that as anything but "lazy".

The fact that she hasn't looked great in some scenes is more due to her emotional state than her hygiene in my opinion.  She's devastated and not at all happy.  Anyone would look disheveled if they were under that amount of distress and crying all the time, not to mention how it wrecks up your makeup and makes you look worse than if you weren't even wearing any.  On the Afterparty and in some talking heads on the series she looks great so I just don't see this being any kind of trend with her.

Edited March 6 by Yeah No

[Elizzikra]

56 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

Respectfully, I think that's a very broad generalization.  From just what we've seen in some scenes on this show Becca puts a lot into her makeup and getting ready.  She often wears a lot of makeup and usually in my experience women that do that don't neglect their hygiene.  It takes a lot of effort to put on that amount of makeup and they have shown her actually applying it.  So I see that as anything but "lazy".

The fact that she hasn't looked great in some scenes is more due to her emotional state than her hygiene in my opinion.  She's devastated and not at all happy.  Anyone would look disheveled if they were under that amount of distress and crying all the time, not to mention how it wrecks up your makeup and makes you look worse than if you weren't even wearing any.  On the Afterparty and in some talking heads on the series she looks great so I just don't see this being any kind of trend with her.

I agree. I think that Becca has the temerity to relax in her own home and not necessarily get all done up when she is staying in and watching television. Horror! It doesn't mean that she neglects her personal hygiene and it certainly doesn't mean she "smells."

I particularly take issue with this:

Quote

Someone as young as Becca with health issues they enjoy complaining about that could be taken care of with diet and exercise

I think that the only health condition of Becca's we know about is endometriosis. Diet and exercise can help with that in that a good diet and moderate exercise contribute to good health overall. Diet and exercise alone, however, don't prevent or cure endometriosis. Moreover, we have no reason at all to think that Becca doesn't exercise or that she has a poor diet. She isn't stick thin. She has curves. It doesn't mean that she snacks on cheeseburgers and is completely sedentary. I also don't think that Becca "enjoys" complaining about her health issues. She had to tell Austin about them since they directly impacted their married life together, both in the short and long term, but I really don't feel like we have heard her endlessly whinging on about them.

[sauce62]

Becca also said early on that she has AS (Ankylosing Spondylitis). This has nothing to do with diet or exercise! It is a genetic condition. My brother has it. It is debilitating. The "Healthism"  model is bogus. Exercise and diet are not the only drivers of health, nor are they moral failings when they are not compulsively attended to. It is a dangerous and disrespectful narrative to those with health challenges. No doubt, exercise and diet are important, but one size does not fit all when it comes to health. And just because she has acne does not mean she isn't clean or smells! 

[Lindz]

That jacket moment was very telling. That should've been the most clarifying moment for Becca. He cared more about his jacket. She said she was cold & was getting his jacket because his was fleece-lined. Sarcasm to express a dislike is so bad. There were so many better ways to express that! & clay on his jacket??? 🤨 BIG EFFIN DEAL!!! Then saying him asking for explanations is how he's not being a pushover??? HUHHH??? Be careful what you wish for, I guess. 🤪 More like, she should've explained what that meant & he should've asked!!! 🙄 Him not asking for explanations is him not thinking for himself?!! WHAAAA?!! Combative is a very strong word with a negative association, like violent. She should've given examples & addressed it AT THAT TIME!!! It's weird they're complaining about stuff later. I disagree with the negative words. I find them unnecessary. Just say what you want. That being said, telling your truth shouldn't be taken as making someone look bad. So, that should be yet another moment of clarity for Becca. He seems more concerned about her negative words, making him look bad, than the behavior that caused her to use those words. He asked her the solution, where's his solution?!! He's in control of himself! It seems like he's stuck believing she made him look bad. That's his choice of thinking so he can own it. He moved out because his friend told him not to change who he is to make it work?!! Oh. It's over! Becca wasn't strong enough to leave knowing she wanted better & wasn't feeling good. 🤷‍♀️

[Lindz]

So sick of the lack of follow-up!!!! WHY does Austin like Becca "in that way"? HOW does he show it??? But no, she just sits there & feels it ain't adding up & that's where they stay. Going nowhere!!! It's like they don't want to understand or resolve it, just state their points. So stupid. Waste of time! 🙄🤷‍♀️

[Lindz]

Brennan wasted no time smashing Emily's delusions to bits during that dinner, huh? He basically said her accident got her confused, expecting him to be a husband. 🤣 Glad he said how she was negative cuz she just dismissed him, saying she wasn't. What'd she say she hated? Was it serious? The vows statement was tacky. She also joked about them potentially crashing & burning after the honeymoon like they did. She was jaded, it was understandable. If he hadn't moved into the apartment for her, she wouldn't have been in the accident? Um. Okay. And? Is he blaming her for accident? Oh. She said if he hadn't stayed & stepped up after the accident, they wouldn't be friends. She said she convinced him to continue so she wasn't robbed of the experience. 🙄 She's not a mind-reader, yet didn't bother to ask if he just wanted to be friends? Or he refused to give a straight answer, which is the answer. She asked the "red flags," but I want to know how he tried if he was out??? By just being there??? SO WHAT?!! He's such a liar!!! He was out & that was never gunna change & he needs to own that! She really thought they'd continue on after that dinner?!! On what planet?!! That seemed like an official end to me. Then she confronted him on a video call about dating other women?!! For what? Where's the proof? What'd he wanna talk about after he moved out? She shouldn't have hugged him goodbye. She shouldn't have been there at all. 🙄

[Lindz]

Is this really the night before D Day??? YIKES!!! It's the worst one yet! They're all split! Austin moving out can't seriously be viewed otherwise.🤨

[Gator Stud]

On 3/5/2024 at 10:03 AM, Katie111 said:

I'm getting annoyed in this thread by the constant use of the term "frat boy" to describe Austin.  It seems to be used interchangeably with the word "dick".   My son is in a frat, actually in Denver, and actually does sometimes wear a backwards baseball hat.   But after spending a lot of time with him and his frat brothers, "dick" would be the last word I would use to describe any of them.  Sure they like to have a good time, but they are also some of the kindest, most respectful young men I have ever met. 

I've met some really cool frat/sorority boys/girls.  But frat boys have a reputation as dicks because of the way they treat others.  They have a reputations of looking down on others and acting dickish to outsiders.  Especially the frats win no diversity and the wealthier frats.  I was friends with frat people in college. They seemed to be more close minded and less accepting of others who are different than them.

19 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Speaking of the sense of smell and sexual attraction, studies have shown that not only do women have a keener sense of smell than men do, but a potential mate's scent is is more important to women's sexual attraction than it is to men, who are generally more visually oriented.  There are many reasons Austin might not be attracted to Becca that have nothing to do with her scent, many of which we have already witnessed, and something like her scent that we have no way of experiencing is what I would consider more of a conjecture. 

When I was dating I would not go out with or sleep with anybody who had dirty feet or smelled. If you are trying to impress someone new, thats not the way to go. I've seen so many people with dirty feet on MAFS (Bennet from Nawlins)- it just disgusts me.  They also put their dirty shoes and luggage right on the bed.  Nobody wears shoes in my house.  People said Mindy smelled and was dirty.  But again, how does anybody know that?  Her clothes were a mess.  But she was nice.

[Chatty Cake]

9 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Respectfully, I think that's a very broad generalization.  From just what we've seen in some scenes on this show Becca puts a lot into her makeup and getting ready.  She often wears a lot of makeup and usually in my experience women that do that don't neglect their hygiene.  It takes a lot of effort to put on that amount of makeup and they have shown her actually applying it.  So I see that as anything but "lazy".

The fact that she hasn't looked great in some scenes is more due to her emotional state than her hygiene in my opinion.  She's devastated and not at all happy.  Anyone would look disheveled if they were under that amount of distress and crying all the time, not to mention how it wrecks up your makeup and makes you look worse than if you weren't even wearing any.  On the Afterparty and in some talking heads on the series she looks great so I just don't see this being any kind of trend with her.

I think her piling on the makeup is just to cover her skin problem. Again she may not smell but I imagine Austin isn’t into whatever the natural scent of her is. Her sour puss and constant over reactions to him didn’t help either.

 

8 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

I agree. I think that Becca has the temerity to relax in her own home and not necessarily get all done up when she is staying in and watching television. Horror! It doesn't mean that she neglects her personal hygiene and it certainly doesn't mean she "smells."

I particularly take issue with this:

I think that the only health condition of Becca's we know about is endometriosis. Diet and exercise can help with that in that a good diet and moderate exercise contribute to good health overall. Diet and exercise alone, however, don't prevent or cure endometriosis. Moreover, we have no reason at all to think that Becca doesn't exercise or that she has a poor diet. She isn't stick thin. She has curves. It doesn't mean that she snacks on cheeseburgers and is completely sedentary. I also don't think that Becca "enjoys" complaining about her health issues. She had to tell Austin about them since they directly impacted their married life together, both in the short and long term, but I really don't feel like we have heard her endlessly whinging on about them.

I tend to be a naysayer but I suspected that Becca was making her diagnosis sound worse than what it is to get attention and have an excuse for lazing about. Just a hunch. She was obviously vetted for the show and they thought she was healthy.

[Chatty Cake]

8 minutes ago, Gator Stud said:

I've met some really cool frat/sorority boys/girls.  But frat boys have a reputation as dicks because of the way they treat others.  They have a reputations of looking down on others and acting dickish to outsiders.  Especially the frats win no diversity and the wealthier frats.  I was friends with frat people in college. They seemed to be more close minded and less accepting of others who are different than them.

When I was dating I would not go out with or sleep with anybody who had dirty feet or smelled. If you are trying to impress someone new, thats not the way to go. I've seen so many people with dirty feet on MAFS (Bennet from Nawlins)- it just disgusts me.  They also put their dirty shoes and luggage right on the bed.  Nobody wears shoes in my house.  People said Mindy smelled and was dirty.  But again, how does anybody know that?  Her clothes were a mess.  But she was nice.

All the hazing that has taken place in these fraternities has turned off most people from ever thinking a frat boy is a good thing. As a whole these dudes tend to be assholes who enjoy torturing the younger and weaker who really want to be accepted and make friends. They have a bad reputation for a reason. Were Brennan and Austin in a frat? I don’t remember their backstory as this season has been brutally boring.

[Chatty Cake]

15 minutes ago, Gator Stud said:

 

When I was dating I would not go out with or sleep with anybody who had dirty feet or smelled. If you are trying to impress someone new, thats not the way to go. I've seen so many people with dirty feet on MAFS (Bennet from Nawlins)- it just disgusts me.  They also put their dirty shoes and luggage right on the bed.  Nobody wears shoes in my house.  People said Mindy smelled and was dirty.  But again, how does anybody know that?  Her clothes were a mess.  But she was nice.

Bennet and Amelia definitely looked like they smelled! The ratty hair, bare and dirty ass feet, odd clothing that looked worn out ….etc I’m sure their downtowns weren’t groomed either.

[Elizzikra]

Quote

I tend to be a naysayer but I suspected that Becca was making her diagnosis sound worse than what it is to get attention and have an excuse for lazing about. Just a hunch. She was obviously vetted for the show and they thought she was healthy.

Becca disclosed her health issues, so the "experts" were well aware of them.

I just don't see Becca as "lazing about." First, she was recovering from surgery at the time of the wedding and the honeymoon but she still participated in those activities. And sure, we see her sitting on the sofa at home, but we haven't seen any other couple engaged in rigorous exercise either, except for Emily and Brennan. I don't think she is lazy and I don't see her casting about for an excuse for a lazy lifestyle. 

Quote

All the hazing that has taken place in these fraternities has turned off most people from ever thinking a frat boy is a good thing. As a whole these dudes tend to be assholes who enjoy torturing the younger and weaker who really want to be accepted and make friends. They have a bad reputation for a reason. 

Any group of people is going to have some good ones and some bad ones and a whole lot in between. Yes, horrible things have happened in the name of fraternity and sorority hazing but I think it's a stereotype to label them all as assholes who enjoy younger and weaker members. I was in a sorority and I was never hazed, nor did I witness anyone being hazed. Most of the frat guys I knew were nice, pretty motivated academically and just generally good guys. Sure, some were assholes. I also knew plenty of non-Greek assholes. Greek life varies hugely from organization to organization and from campus to campus. 

[Gator Stud]

28 minutes ago, Chatty Cake said:

All the hazing that has taken place in these fraternities has turned off most people from ever thinking a frat boy is a good thing. As a whole these dudes tend to be assholes who enjoy torturing the younger and weaker who really want to be accepted and make friends. They have a bad reputation for a reason.

This is a great way of stating this.  They do like to prey on the weaker and unpopular, like the bullies in high school.  Except most people move on from all of that after high school.  But frats have a rep of continuing it.  The one good thing about frats it that they hook you up with jobs that you might not necessarily be qualified for.

[Gator Stud]

13 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

Any group of people is going to have some good ones and some bad ones and a whole lot in between. Yes, horrible things have happened in the name of fraternity and sorority hazing but I think it's a stereotype to label them all as assholes who enjoy younger and weaker members. I was in a sorority and I was never hazed, nor did I witness anyone being hazed. Most of the frat guys I knew were nice, pretty motivated academically and just generally good guys. Sure, some were assholes. I also knew plenty of non-Greek assholes. Greek life varies hugely from organization to organization and from campus to campus. 

I dont think reality is stereotyping.  Are there good frats?  Yes.  Are most frats good.  I wouldn't say yes.  And its not really the hazing that I am talking about.  It how they treat others not in their fraternity or not part of the fraternity system. My family told me to always treat people with respect, no matter what walk of life they are from.  Frat boys seem to be told the opposite.  I do think they like to prey on the weak and unpopular.  And some fraternities have been outright racist for throwing minority themed parties. Other fraternities will not allow people that are not White to join their frat. So I think they kinda deserve the rep, though not all.

[Chatty Cake]

17 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

Becca disclosed her health issues, so the "experts" were well aware of them.

I just don't see Becca as "lazing about." First, she was recovering from surgery at the time of the wedding and the honeymoon but she still participated in those activities. And sure, we see her sitting on the sofa at home, but we haven't seen any other couple engaged in rigorous exercise either, except for Emily and Brennan. I don't think she is lazy and I don't see her casting about for an excuse for a lazy lifestyle. 

Any group of people is going to have some good ones and some bad ones and a whole lot in between. Yes, horrible things have happened in the name of fraternity and sorority hazing but I think it's a stereotype to label them all as assholes who enjoy younger and weaker members. I was in a sorority and I was never hazed, nor did I witness anyone being hazed. Most of the frat guys I knew were nice, pretty motivated academically and just generally good guys. Sure, some were assholes. I also knew plenty of non-Greek assholes. Greek life varies hugely from organization to organization and from campus to campus. 

I never saw Becca do much of anything except sit around and cry. Does she work? She just seemed super mopey.

That’s great that all the frat guys you knew were all sunshine and sweetness. A lot of women aren’t safe in these frat houses and too embarrassed or scared to speak up when bad things do happen. 

[Elizzikra]

Quote

I never saw Becca do much of anything except sit around and cry. Does she work? She just seemed super mopey.

She is a photographer. We saw her photographing Austin's friends.

Quote

That’s great that all the frat guys you knew were all sunshine and sweetness. A lot of women aren’t safe in these frat houses and too embarrassed or scared to speak up when bad things do happen. 

Actually not what I said. I know plenty of assholes but only some of them were in fraternities. And I agree that fraternities are not always safe for women. I have a college-aged daughter and I'm well aware of all the terrible things that can happen to young women on college campuses - and out there in the world.

[Yeah No]

8 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

She is a photographer. We saw her photographing Austin's friends.

Yes and not only that, she has her own wedding photography business.  My husband worked for a couple of studios part time for over 20 years and we know that's not a business for anyone "lazy".

This is not directed at you at all, but I have to say that all this talk about Becca being "emotional" and all that feels like a put-down to me, as if having and expressing genuine emotion is somehow a failing.  We carp here about all the fakers and emotionless "androids" on this show but then someone comes along who shows some genuine feeling and they get put down for it?  I don't get that.
 

9 hours ago, Gator Stud said:

I dont think reality is stereotyping.  Are there good frats?  Yes.  Are most frats good.  I wouldn't say yes.  And its not really the hazing that I am talking about.  It how they treat others not in their fraternity or not part of the fraternity system. My family told me to always treat people with respect, no matter what walk of life they are from.  Frat boys seem to be told the opposite.  I do think they like to prey on the weak and unpopular.  And some fraternities have been outright racist for throwing minority themed parties. Other fraternities will not allow people that are not White to join their frat. So I think they kinda deserve the rep, though not all.

I'm not either way on frats or sororities as my university didn't have them in the traditional sense (I went to school in NYC) and I have no personal experience with them, but I'm not on board with broad generalizations and possible stereotyping about them either even if there's some truth in them in some cases.  Even if there is I don't think broad generalizing is fair.  I wouldn't want anyone stereotyping or broadly generalizing about me based on any group I belonged to, especially if I wasn't guilty of the stereotyped behavior.  I don't know anyone that would.  I'll leave it at that.

Edited March 7 by Yeah No

[Chatty Cake]

8 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

She is a photographer. We saw her photographing Austin's friends.

Actually not what I said. I know plenty of assholes but only some of them were in fraternities. And I agree that fraternities are not always safe for women. I have a college-aged daughter and I'm well aware of all the terrible things that can happen to young women on college campuses - and out there in the world.

Oh that’s right, a photographer. I knew she didn’t work full time. 

Yes, I know not every frat boy is a jerk but there are so many that are and with the hazing and the assault, nobody of substance should be lured into that crap.

[Chatty Cake]

46 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

Yes and not only that, she has her own wedding photography business.  My husband worked for a couple of studios part time for over 20 years and we know that's not a business for anyone "lazy".

This is not directed at you at all, but I have to say that all this talk about Becca being "emotional" and all that feels like a put-down to me, as if having and expressing genuine emotion is somehow a failing.  We carp here about all the fakers and emotionless "androids" on this show but then someone comes along who shows some genuine feeling and they get put down for it?  I don't get that.
 

I'm not either way on frats or sororities as my university didn't have them in the traditional sense (I went to school in NYC) and I have no personal experience with them, but I'm not on board with broad generalizations and possible stereotyping about them either even if there's some truth in them in some cases.  Even if there is I don't think broad generalizing is fair.  I wouldn't want anyone stereotyping or broadly generalizing about me based on any group I belonged to, especially if I wasn't guilty of the stereotyped behavior.  I don't know anyone that would.  I'll leave it at that.

While some photographers work full time as a photographer, most don’t. Many have other jobs. I’m not surprised that’s her career. I wonder if she even works weekly.

Yes, I admit categorizing all frat boys as hazing jerks isn’t right but there’s enough of them that makes it okay. 

[Gator Stud]

1 hour ago, Yeah No said:

'm not either way on frats or sororities as my university didn't have them in the traditional sense (I went to school in NYC) and I have no personal experience with them, but I'm not on board with broad generalizations and possible stereotyping about them either even if there's some truth in them in some cases.  Even if there is I don't think broad generalizing is fair.  I wouldn't want anyone stereotyping or broadly generalizing about me based on any group I belonged to, especially if I wasn't guilty of the stereotyped behavior.  I don't know anyone that would.  I'll leave it at that.

They deserve it thought.  Its like cops.  There are good cops.  Some are my friends.  But the cop system is very bad.  They deserve the rep, though they seemed to have calmed down over the past few years.  Read about the party the Duke frat threw.  Maybe frats have changed.  Why dont you think they deserve this rep after their atrocious behavior.  And for a while frat boy, and date rape were synonymous.  I dont think Austin is like this though.  He's like a stoner who want everything to be chill.

https://www.salon.com/2014/03/04/6_disturbingly_racist_and_sexist_frat_party_themes_—_from_just_this_past_year_partner/

1 hour ago, Yeah No said:

This is not directed at you at all, but I have to say that all this talk about Becca being "emotional" and all that feels like a put-down to me, as if having and expressing genuine emotion is somehow a failing.  We carp here about all the fakers and emotionless "androids" on this show but then someone comes along who shows some genuine feeling and they get put down for it?  I don't get that.

She is overly emotional, and I am here for that.  I liked that she was real and not acting for the camera.  She wanted this to work so badly, but she had to know that if a guy is not having sex with you while sleeping in the same bed after a few weeks that maybe he was not attracted to her?

[Yeah No]

1 hour ago, Gator Stud said:

They deserve it thought.  Its like cops.  There are good cops.  Some are my friends.  But the cop system is very bad.  They deserve the rep, though they seemed to have calmed down over the past few years.  Read about the party the Duke frat threw.  Maybe frats have changed.  Why dont you think they deserve this rep after their atrocious behavior.  And for a while frat boy, and date rape were synonymous.  I dont think Austin is like this though.  He's like a stoner who want everything to be chill.

If you want to talk about a system that allows for offenses or individuals that commit them, I'm all down with that, but once bad behavior gets applied to a group in general I'm not.  There is a difference.

1 hour ago, Gator Stud said:

She is overly emotional, and I am here for that.  I liked that she was real and not acting for the camera.  She wanted this to work so badly, but she had to know that if a guy is not having sex with you while sleeping in the same bed after a few weeks that maybe he was not attracted to her?

That's exactly what these fakers and actors are trying to prevent - having people criticize them for showing any kind of fault.  We all have faults.  For sure those fakers have more than Becca, and arguably are much worse people in general, but they are just committed to not letting the world see those things so they don't get criticized for them.  If I had the choice between whose faults I wanted, I'd choose Becca's any day over Austin's or Brennan's.