S17.E13: Exploring Intimacy at an Altitude

[After7Only]

Not a good sign, when there is as much discussion of the Afterparty than the actual episode.    

But I'll go ahead and add to the afterparty discussion anyway 🙂    Emily said Brennan got angry after she said something he didn't like.   Keisha asked her what did she say and that seemed to trigger her and she refused to answer.   Sounds like she possibly said something pretty foul.   But instead of saying whatever it was she turned on the tears and implied that Brennan was scary and possibly abusive (throwing things at walls).   

She also did the exact thing she accused Brennan of by trying to pivot the conversation with Keisha and saying she wanted to talk about something more positive.   

Also interesting that what she accused Austin of doing in rejecting Becca's advances is very similar to the incident Brennan described with Emily breaking a shower curtain to get to him in the shower and then jumping on him in bed.   

 

[princelina]

16 minutes ago, After7Only said:

Also interesting that what she accused Austin of doing in rejecting Becca's advances is very similar to the incident Brennan described with Emily breaking a shower curtain to get to him in the shower and then jumping on him in bed.   

How are they similar?

 

[After7Only]

15 minutes ago, princelina said:

How are they similar?

 

Emily said that Becca tried to initiate intimacy by jumping on top of him.  According to Emily, Austin batted her away and told her to get off.  (According to him it was said as a joke).

Brennan said that Emily got drunk and tried to break down the shower curtain to get to him in the shower, she then jumped on top of him in bed and smothered him.   The implication was she was trying to have sex.  He told her to stop.   He was not playing when he said no and was upset by the incident.   

[princelina]

6 minutes ago, After7Only said:

Emily said that Becca tried to initiate intimacy by jumping on top of him.  According to Emily, Austin batted her away and told her to get off.  (According to him it was said as a joke).

Brennan said that Emily got drunk and tried to break down the shower curtain to get to him in the shower, she then jumped on top of him in bed and smothered him.   The implication was she was trying to have sex.  He told her to stop.   He was not playing when he said no and was upset by the incident.   

Ok I understand.  I guess to me the difference is that Brennan made it clear they were ONLY friends, but Emily got drunk and came after him anyway, whereas I assume Austin is allowing limited pecky "makeout" sessions, and recoiled when Becca tried to take it further.  So that is why I failed to see the similarities - but now that you mention it, it may be why Emily was so forceful in defending Becca if she thinks they're in the same boat!

 

Edited January 19 by princelina

[Hip-to-be-Square]

    Austin said on the After Party that he typically waits 3-6 months to do anything more than kissing with a girl 😏- then why would such a slow-moving 30+ year old man sign up for Married at First Sight?! 

    Becca's already reducing her libido to cater to Austin's low libido- no Becca! 😬😦.  She's dated guys who've probably blown her back out 🔥🛏️ and now she's settling for a guy who wears backwards baseball caps 24/7 and gives chaste kisses? Get the book "He's Just Not That into You" and move on- every girl on this show!  Austin needs to be honest with her about his boundaries and feelings and Becca needs to stop throwing herself at him. 

Edited January 19 by Hip-to-be-Square

[StatisticalOutlier]

6 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

And just to be a shallow bitch about it, I'm tired of Emily's one-note, I-just-sucked-on-a-lemon, pursed lips, facial expressions.

Almost perfect description.  She also turns her eyes into little slits.  I also think she looks rough, which is about the only way I can describe it.  Just kind of not bright and fresh, and I associate that with people who drink a lot.

(That said, I liked seeing her play soccer.  She's got real skills.)

But adding to the shallowness:  I laughed during the obstacle course because Becca said her eyes are her best feature and told Austin he couldn't see them when she was wearing a blindfold.  I find her eyes to be buggy, not the least bit attractive, bordering on repellent. 

I also noticed that on the aftershow, Emily said their apartment is below Becca's and Austin's apartment, and said they can hear what goes on up there.  Austin looked alarmed.  And I was alarmed when Emily said they could hear when they were doing the obstacle course, because Becca was slowly tiptoeing or crawling around.  They can hear that?  But actually, I think it's more likely they heard them moving the furniture around and later found out it was for the obstacle course.

[Yeah No]

10 hours ago, ECM1231 said:

No, it doesn't make him gay and I'm the first to admit that my gaydar is off.  As in it rarely pings. I've no idea if Austin is gay or not, but my husband watches with me and he finds it HIGHLY suspect that Austin hasn't jumped Becca's bones, especially since she's hot for him.  She's not hideous looking, seems to have a very pleasant and playful personality, seems intelligent (definitely more articulate than he, imo), and we'll assume she practices good hygiene. He's baffled as to why Austin hasn't 'gone for it', considering they are legally married, after all. 

My husband said the same thing but I told him he doesn't want to lead her on and let her down.  It's obvious that Austin doesn't plan on staying with Becca at this point.  He'd only have sex with her if he was sure he was going to continue with the marriage.  I don't even think he hasn't made a move on her because he isn't attracted to her - I think he is, just not for the long haul or he has some kind of emotional blockage to having sex with a woman.  When they are flirting he is just playing with her, he's not serious.  It's not going anywhere.  Like the guys online that chat you up like they want to date you but then disappear before you ever get to meet them.  And he isn't pinging my gaydar either.  I wonder if he is avoiding sex because he has hang ups with it that he isn't working out and that's why his relationships haven't worked out to this point.  More on that later.

I think he is immature in a lot of ways, although at least he's not a cad that would have sex with her and then leave her.  I don't think he realizes that he's going to royally hurt and let her down anyway whether or not he has sex with her.  He is already giving her false hope by telling her how long it takes for him to "warm up" like this is normal for him and he eventually will come around.  He is keeping her on the hook that way.  Even if taking that long is typical for him he is unwilling to talk about why that's the case.  Obviously there's a lot to discuss with a therapist there and it's not necessarily making him good relationship material.  He doesn't have to do it on camera either.

I'm sorry but he and Brennan are using not wanting to talk about feelings and intimate things on camera as their way of avoiding addressing the real issues in their relationships.  If it's just that they don't want to talk about it on TV they should at least act like they want to discuss it off camera, but they are not acting interested in that either.  The truth is they just don't want to deal with any issues because they're not really into their wives and that's their way of getting out of having to justify what they're doing and not doing to help the relationship.  In Brennan's case it might be somewhat justified because of Emily's behavior but with Austin I think it's all about his issues with relationships in general.  He is acting almost like someone that was sexually abused and avoids sex because of that.  I can understand him not wanting to discuss that on camera but he should be willing to do it off camera and he's not acting like he wants to do that either.  If he has issues like that he really needs to address them before getting involved in a serious relationship.

Edited January 19 by Yeah No

[Yeah No]

2 hours ago, Hip-to-be-Square said:

    Austin said on the After Party that he typically waits 3-6 months to do anything more than kissing with a girl 😏- then why would such a slow-moving 30+ year old man sign up for Married at First Sight?! 

    Becca's already reducing her libido to cater to Austin's low libido- no Becca! 😬😦.  She's dated guys who've probably blown her back out 🔥🛏️ and now she's settling for a guy who wears backwards baseball caps 24/7 and gives chaste kisses? Get the book "He's Just Not That into You" and move on- every girl on this show!  Austin needs to be honest with her about his boundaries and feelings and Becca needs to stop throwing herself at him. 

I feel sorry for Becca.  She should be playing it cool with him at this point, not throwing herself at him.  Tell him to figure out what he wants and let her know but until then she shouldn't bat her eyelids and cuddle with him.  She thinks she is showing patience with him but it's only putting pressure on him he can't handle and pushing him further away (which he alluded to in the Afterparty).  Not that I think anything she does or doesn't do would help the situation. 

I am beginning to think it's not that he's gay or that he doesn't like or find her attractive enough, but that he has sexual baggage and hang ups that make him avoid sex in a relationship.  He is making it sound like this is "normal" for him and that he eventually warms up enough to have sex, but I'm not buying that at this point.   His reticence about the relationship in general may be because he has unresolved issues with sex.  And that elephant in the room is understandably one he doesn't want to discuss on TV, although he acts like he doesn't want to deal with it period.  Not good for any relationship.  Which begs your question as to why he would sign up for this.  I think sometimes these people think that they can "cheat" and not have to deal with their issues and magically be presented with someone that's going to make them get over all of that.  Well, it doesn't work that way.

[Yeah No]

4 hours ago, After7Only said:

She also did the exact thing she accused Brennan of by trying to pivot the conversation with Keisha and saying she wanted to talk about something more positive.   

Also interesting that what she accused Austin of doing in rejecting Becca's advances is very similar to the incident Brennan described with Emily breaking a shower curtain to get to him in the shower and then jumping on him in bed.   

EXACTLY!!!  All of that was not lost on me - I saw that too.  Oh, the irony of that!  Emily can't see herself in the mirror.  She was acting exactly like Brennan there and then defending Becca for doing something similar to what she did in jumping on her spouse and then getting rejected.  

Also did anyone else notice how red and bloodshot her eyes were in that scene in the regular episode where she and Becca and Clare are having a conversation?  Wow. 

Although I will say this, while I don't like Emily and think Brennan is justified for not being into her I don't like him either.  He did a 180 degree turn on her in the episode but then Emily called him out on it on the Afterparty and said he acted that way on camera but did nothing behind the scenes to back it up.  And I believe that.  He has obviously finally gotten the memo from production that he has to fake it to decision day and act like he's into her at least on camera if he's going to remain on the show.  I don't believe one word out of his mouth about how wonderful and sweet he thinks Emily is or how he thinks they're working toward anything at this point.  It's nothing but a steaming pile of dog poo. 💩

Also, why is it so bad for Emily to push back on Keisha's questions but when Brennan refuses to talk about those things with the therapist there are apologies made for him like he just doesn't want to do it publicly or whatever?  

Edited January 19 by Yeah No

[LennieBriscoe]

Brennan and Austin are Liars Extraordinaire.

Watching these two normal young men pretend that waiting for "deeper conversations" or "pressure from getting in my head about it" is somehow preventing them from feeling, ahem, romantic towards their spouses is MADDENING in the assumption we the viewers are as gullible as their "counselors."

And frankly, Emily and Becca are equally maddening in their self-debasing "But I think you're HOT" admissions. 

Boys, get some integrity. Girls, get some pride. 

[Empress1]

7 hours ago, Hip-to-be-Square said:

Austin said on the After Party that he typically waits 3-6 months to do anything more than kissing with a girl

Yeah, I was like “?!” when he said that. I hope he’s telling the women he dates that early on. If we get to the month mark and have only kissed, I’m going to assume you’re not that into me and move on. He can go at whatever pace he likes, but he and I would be incompatible. 

[kristen111]

20 hours ago, endure said:

Who's Keishia,  is she the sex therapist?

I'm just getting too confused between the BS on the show and all the confusion reading posts on here, I'm just out.  I think I'm too old for this crap 👋🏻

Nah !  By now everyone is confused .. not only you.  I can’t remember the names half the time.  The Sx Therapist wears the too tight neon suits,  and Keisha wants to make the show her own, imo.  This show took a turn for the worst.  🤷‍♂️🤮  but we still watch.  Anyhow, the second wedding is coming up.  Another disaster.  Mismatch imo.

1 hour ago, Empress1 said:

Austin said on the After Party that he typically waits 3-6 months to do anything more than kissing with a girl

Whaaat!   I was always under the impression that most guys will screw anyone even on the first date.  3-6 months is ridiculous.  Who’s he kidding?

[kristen111]

8 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

Almost perfect description.  She also turns her eyes into little slits.  I also think she looks rough, which is about the only way I can describe it.  Just kind of not bright and fresh, and I associate that with people who drink a lot.

(That said, I liked seeing her play soccer.  She's got real skills.)

But adding to the shallowness:  I laughed during the obstacle course because Becca said her eyes are her best feature and told Austin he couldn't see them when she was wearing a blindfold.  I find her eyes to be buggy, not the least bit attractive, bordering on repellent. 

I also noticed that on the aftershow, Emily said their apartment is below Becca's and Austin's apartment, and said they can hear what goes on up there.  Austin looked alarmed.  And I was alarmed when Emily said they could hear when they were doing the obstacle course, because Becca was slowly tiptoeing or crawling around.  They can hear that?  But actually, I think it's more likely they heard them moving the furniture around and later found out it was for the obstacle course.

Seems Emily already had a few before the After Party.  Obnoxious and revealing too much.   Can’t these guys get an annulment now?  Things will not get better..

[Shauna]

14 hours ago, Crashcourse said:

Does he know about her medical issues?  Maybe that's why he's hesitant to jump her bones.  

Actually, I think he just likes her as a friend.  

I forgot what her medical issues are.  Could you remind me?

[Empress1]

26 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

 Whaaat!   I was always under the impression that most guys will screw anyone even on the first date.  3-6 months is ridiculous.  Who’s he kidding?

I don’t think there’s a set time and no one should feel pressured to have sex they don’t want, but unless he’s really wooing women outside the bedroom, a lot of women, like Becca and I, are going to feel rejected and hurt if they aren’t expressing themselves physically, particularly if they’ve had the “we are in a relationship” talk. I know men and women who only have sex in relationships and not with people they’re casually dating, but they don’t take six months to claim being in a relationship. Even going further than kissing (and I looooooove kissing and just making out) would help. Like … you’re my boyfriend, don’t you want to see me naked?

7 minutes ago, Shauna said:

I forgot what her medical issues are.  Could you remind me?

She has endometriosis and also had abdominal surgery not long before getting married.

Edited January 19 by Empress1

[kristen111]

5 hours ago, Yeah No said:

EXACTLY!!!  All of that was not lost on me - I saw that too.  Oh, the irony of that!  Emily can't see herself in the mirror.  She was acting exactly like Brennan there and then defending Becca for doing something similar to what she did in jumping on her spouse and then getting rejected.  

Also did anyone else notice how red and bloodshot her eyes were in that scene in the regular episode where she and Becca and Clare are having a conversation?  Wow. 

Although I will say this, while I don't like Emily and think Brennan is justified for not being into her I don't like him either.  He did a 180 degree turn on her in the episode but then Emily called him out on it on the Afterparty and said he acted that way on camera but did nothing behind the scenes to back it up.  And I believe that.  He has obviously finally gotten the memo from production that he has to fake it to decision day and act like he's into her at least on camera if he's going to remain on the show.  I don't believe one word out of his mouth about how wonderful and sweet he thinks Emily is or how he thinks they're working toward anything at this point.  It's nothing but a steaming pile of dog poo. 💩

Also, why is it so bad for Emily to push back on Keisha's questions but when Brennan refuses to talk about those things with the therapist there are apologies made for him like he just doesn't want to do it publicly or whatever?  

We have three educated Experts on the show, and they can’t untangle these mixed up newly marrieds?  Or, did Production pick this bunch for drama which is not working?  Everything is off here and very confusing.  Fire everyone! and start over like in the beginning when it made a little sense.

[Yeah No]

1 hour ago, Empress1 said:

Yeah, I was like “?!” when he said that. I hope he’s telling the women he dates that early on. If we get to the month mark and have only kissed, I’m going to assume you’re not that into me and move on. He can go at whatever pace he likes, but he and I would be incompatible. 

Despite her being inappropriate in calling it out publicly, Emily on the Afterparty was actually right about this and I think most women would feel this way, me included.  I would know that there was something seriously wrong there and move on.  Either it says he's not into me or he's got issues and I wouldn't want to take the risk that I would invest all that time and emotion on him and then end up with nothing.  And his BS explanations wouldn't make me feel any differently either. 

I think we now have our reason why he's still single and why he chose to do this show.  Other women have bailed on him because of his reticence to have sex for so long.  He was hoping that doing this show would give him a "captive audience" for several weeks that might make a woman stick around until he felt comfortable having sex with her.  He figured having the commitment of marriage might make a woman more likely not to bail on him.  The only problem is that that's not likely to work if his issues are not being addressed.  In fact, Becca's pressure on him is only likely to make him even more reticent to take the plunge with her.

[Shauna]

9 hours ago, Hip-to-be-Square said:

    Austin said on the After Party that he typically waits 3-6 months to do anything more than kissing with a girl 😏- then why would such a slow-moving 30+ year old man sign up for Married at First Sight?! 

    Becca's already reducing her libido to cater to Austin's low libido- no Becca! 😬😦.  She's dated guys who've probably blown her back out 🔥🛏️ and now she's settling for a guy who wears backwards baseball caps 24/7 and gives chaste kisses? Get the book "He's Just Not That into You" and move on- every girl on this show!  Austin needs to be honest with her about his boundaries and feelings and Becca needs to stop throwing herself at him. 

Bullshit.  No way, no how Austin, if he is into women or men, waits 3-6 months to do anything more with him or her.  Does he really believe we're buying this poppycock?  No pun intended. 

1 hour ago, kristen111 said:

Nah !  By now everyone is confused .. not only you.  I can’t remember the names half the time.  The Sx Therapist wears the too tight neon suits,  and Keisha wants to make the show her own, imo.  This show took a turn for the worst.  🤷‍♂️🤮  but we still watch.  Anyhow, the second wedding is coming up.  Another disaster.  Mismatch imo.

Whaaat!   I was always under the impression that most guys will screw anyone even on the first date.  3-6 months is ridiculous.  Who’s he kidding?

Not us, that's for sure.  We've got his number. 

Edited January 19 by Shauna
word

[Shauna]

31 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

We have three educated Experts on the show, and they can’t untangle these mixed up newly marrieds?  Or, did Production pick this bunch for drama which is not working?  Everything is off here and very confusing.  Fire everyone! and start over like in the beginning when it made a little sense.

"Experts"

For those who missed the After Party, Emily also mentioned that she can hear "everything" that goes on in Austin's and Becca's apartment because they are directly above Emily.  She could hear the obstacle course game and was wondering what was going on.  Nothing, Emily, nothing goes on up there.  But you already know this....and be sure to tell America next chance you get, you untrustworthy friend, you. 

[kristen111]

20 minutes ago, Shauna said:

"Experts"

For those who missed the After Party, Emily also mentioned that she can hear "everything" that goes on in Austin's and Becca's apartment because they are directly above Emily.  She could hear the obstacle course game and was wondering what was going on.  Nothing, Emily, nothing goes on up there.  But you already know this....and be sure to tell America next chance you get, you untrustworthy friend, you. 

Just now, kristen111 said:

22 minutes ago, Shauna said:

"Experts"

For those who missed the After Party, Emily also mentioned that she can hear "everything" that goes on in Austin's and Becca's apartment because they are directly above Emily.  She could hear the obstacle course game and was wondering what was going on.  Nothing, Emily, nothing goes on up there.  But you already know this....and be sure to tell America next chance you get, you untrustworthy friend, you. 

That was bad.  She probably had a few in her already to reveal all that on tv.

[Shauna]

9 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

That was bad.  She probably had a few in her already to reveal all that on tv.

I would be massively pissed off at Emily if I were Becca.  To be vulnerable and think you could trust a friend, only to have said friend blab to the world your sex problems?  Unforgivable.

[Retired at last]

10 hours ago, Hip-to-be-Square said:

Austin said on the After Party that he typically waits 3-6 months to do anything more than kissing with a girl 😏- then why would such a slow-moving 30+ year old man sign up for Married at First Sight?! 

Because MAYBE he really thought he was going to make a lasting commitment with someone he really wanted to get to know, and 2 months is right within his parameters?

ETA - Reading the posts where people are stating that they wouldn't wait and they would want more and that any man should be banging any available woman is interesting. Obviously, I am older, but these people have NEVER MET before, so they aren't like when you are dating and you meet someone and you can decide for yourself if you want to go farther or get to know someone better. It always surprises me when these couples DO have immediate sex. How many of them are still together? How did that bond them and build their relationship? To me, Austin seems like he has been kind to Becca and if the limited interactions WE can see are plain to us, it is painful to watch her desperation.

Emily is just hard to watch. Her facial tics and expressions and smirks make her totally unlikeable to me. Brennan can't stand her and can't wait to get out. I don't know that much about him, but, since Emily has never had a real relationship, she seriously lacks the skills to do that and I think we see a huge reason why. Brennan has mentioned it before. The show does not have the resources, nor the interest, in trying to get her off and into some therapy because it is not to their benefit.

The show is getting desperate for drama and maybe some people like it, but, if I am going to be invested in watching, I have to at least LIKE someone. Clare is a total fakey bitch, and I hope Cam is doing well. The other two couples have been discussed to death. I am not holding on much hope for Michael part II, but, it will give us a little something new.

Edited January 19 by Retired at last

[Empress1]

1 hour ago, Retired at last said:

Reading the posts where people are stating that they wouldn't wait and they would want more and that any man should be banging any available woman is interesting. Obviously, I am older, but these people have NEVER MET before, so they aren't like when you are dating and you meet someone and you can decide for yourself if you want to go farther or get to know someone better.

I definitely don’t think any man should necessarily be banging any woman as soon as they meet, and I actually think the best thing for Brennan and Austin to do is abstain, because they’re clearly not into their wives and it’ll hurt the wives worse if their husbands sleep with them and then dump them (which Brennan and Austin know). People are like “why isn’t Austin having sex with Becca??” and to me, it’s like … he doesn’t like her That Way, so of course he isn’t. He doesn’t dislike her like Brennan dislikes Emily, but he’s not romantically interested in her.

But! Taking Becca out of it. He says he always moves that slowly. So let’s say he meets a woman on Hinge and they date, and he likes her and she likes him. Attraction is there, all that. All the women I know, myself included, would be questioning how into them he was if he didn’t do more than kiss them for three, four, five, six months. I can’t see myself waiting six months to have sex, barring a medical issue (which hopefully we’d discussed) or decision to wait until marriage (which is a decision I wouldn’t make). I would feel like he didn’t desire me. He clearly (to me, anyway) doesn’t desire Becca specifically, but he’s ostensibly moved this slowly with women he DOES desire, and that’s what I’m struggling with. He’s entitled to move however he likes, but if he and I were dating, I don’t think I could hang in there. I’m not going to beg anyone to have sex with me (unless that’s part of the sex, ha ha). I think he’s said it caused problems before and I’m not surprised.

[princelina]

2 hours ago, Retired at last said:

ETA - Reading the posts where people are stating that they wouldn't wait and they would want more and that any man should be banging any available woman is interesting. Obviously, I am older, but these people have NEVER MET before, so they aren't like when you are dating and you meet someone and you can decide for yourself if you want to go farther or get to know someone better. It always surprises me when these couples DO have immediate sex. How many of them are still together? How did that bond them and build their relationship? To me, Austin seems like he has been kind to Becca and if the limited interactions WE can see are plain to us, it is painful to watch her desperation.

I have no facts, but from observation I think that the ones who do have sex right away don't last.  The ones who last seem to have sex on the honeymoon or shortly after.  Because they are attracted to each other and enjoying the bond they built spending all that time together on the honeymoon.  And as a rule the guy is up for it but acting like a gentleman until the lady gives him a go sign 😄 And then, other than admitting they did the deed, they manage to keep the rest of it pretty private - like when they made Bobby say a fantasy for Danielle to act out, he said he'd like to see her in a ball cap so she wore one 😂. And then they shut the door.  I do think that both Emily and Becca should try a little less "sex positivity" and a little more letting the guy lead - I still remember Emily saying on the honeymoon that they were making out and she was pushing him to tell her when they would have sex - and after that was when he changed.  At this point Becca should tell Austin that they'll make terrariums and feed the fish, but she's done putting moves on him and he's in charge of that.  That will let her see if it's his issue or her pressure that's getting to him.  It's not like it could get worse for her - worth a try IMO!

[Elizzikra]

I'm curious why we are reluctant to take Austin at his word. Why does there have to be anything else going on beyond "he likes to take things slow." I know there are the "men aren't like that" arguments, which I dismiss because I don't think all men are alike any more than I think all women are alike. I know there are the "he doesn't want to have sex with Becca so he must be gay" arguments which I also dismiss because I'm not going to question Austin's sexuality until he brings it up. So why can't it be just as he says it is?

[Madame Crabanda]

34 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

I'm curious why we are reluctant to take Austin at his word. Why does there have to be anything else going on beyond "he likes to take things slow." I know there are the "men aren't like that" arguments, which I dismiss because I don't think all men are alike any more than I think all women are alike. I know there are the "he doesn't want to have sex with Becca so he must be gay" arguments which I also dismiss because I'm not going to question Austin's sexuality until he brings it up. So why can't it be just as he says it is?

Well, I am really old. 70. But I can still recall, back in the day, the difference between being with a) a guy who wanted me right now this minute, b) a guy who wanted me but maybe was a bit slower moving or was being respectful and waiting to be sure I was ready, and c) a guy who wasn’t interested, no way no how, no matter how many obvious or subtle innuendos or accidental touches I threw his way. There’s a vibe.

[Elizzikra]

15 minutes ago, Madame Crabanda said:

Well, I am really old. 70. But I can still recall, back in the day, the difference between being with a) a guy who wanted me right now this minute, b) a guy who wanted me but maybe was a bit slower moving or was being respectful and waiting to be sure I was ready, and c) a guy who wasn’t interested, no way no how, no matter how many obvious or subtle innuendos or accidental touches I threw his way. There’s a vibe.

I'm pretty old too. But Austin seems to be saying he's B; my question is why we don't believe him.

[StatisticalOutlier]

12 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Also, why is it so bad for Emily to push back on Keisha's questions but when Brennan refuses to talk about those things with the therapist there are apologies made for him like he just doesn't want to do it publicly or whatever?  

Brennan's refusing to talk at all is different from what Emily did on the aftershow.  Emily said Brennan got mad and threw things, and then said it was because of something she said.  So the host asked her what she said, and Emily refused to answer.  The host pressed, pointing out that Emily's presenting her version of what happened, and there are facts related to that version that viewers need to be able to have a fuller picture.  Emily refused to respond, apparently believing that her version shouldn't be challenged or even subject to any doubt.

Brennan is just saying nothing, instead of presenting a version of an event and getting pissy when somebody wants some more facts, especially facts that you've alluded to but not actually stated.

5 hours ago, Shauna said:

I would be massively pissed off at Emily if I were Becca.  To be vulnerable and think you could trust a friend, only to have said friend blab to the world your sex problems?  Unforgivable.

Then again, Becca barely even knows Emily, so maybe she should have called on an actual friend to be vulnerable with.  I'm sure the producers pressed her to talk to Emily about it, and I know they can be persuasive, but everything that she told this person she barely knows was uttered voluntarily. 

I liked the scene of two of the women out by the pool/hot tub, because I was watching the people behind them getting into the water and then disappearing (did he drown?!?) and then reappearing (whew!).  The fact that these shows let their editing hijinks be on such blatant display tells me they don't really care if they look sheisty. 

[Empress1]

1 hour ago, Elizzikra said:

Austin seems to be saying he's B; my question is why we don't believe him.

It’s just a vibe I get. I’m not getting “I’m really into you but I’m not ready”; I’m getting “I like you as a friend so I’m doing as little as I can get away with.” It’s not just their physical interaction; it’s moments where he’s looked unhappy or can’t look her in the eye. 

[princelina]

1 hour ago, Elizzikra said:

I'm pretty old too. But Austin seems to be saying he's B; my question is why we don't believe him.

I just don't!  I dated a guy who was slow moving like that - his excuse was getting over his dead wife.  Turns out he was having sex - with a 19 year old behind my back.  We were in our 30s, his friends didn't like her so I was his "beard" for public events.  And he liked me well enough and we had fun together - that's how I see Austin.

[Starlight925]

34 minutes ago, princelina said:

I dated a guy who was slow moving like that - his excuse was getting over his dead wife.  Turns out he was having sex - with a 19 year old behind my back.  

The last guy I dated did that to two women just prior to meeting me (I didn't find out till much later, when I dumped him):

The one he didn't sleep with, he respected, so she was the one he brought around to his family, his adult kids, all the events.

The other one, he had regular sex with, sometimes in the same day as he saw the other one, but this one (the sex one), he didn't find attractive, but she was always up for sex.

So the one he didn't sleep with thought he was being so kind and respectful, what a wonderful guy.  Sheesh.

Speaking of After Party....Emily has a pink cast on her right arm.  So do we know the timing of the cast?  Does this prove that the After Party is filmed after the season wraps?  

And yes, Emily of the pursed duck lips was awful.

[Zero260]

I’ve watched every season of MAFS, beginning with Doug and Jamie. This is by far the saddest, weirdest, most unsettling and disappointing season of them all. 

[Elizzikra]

16 minutes ago, Zero260 said:

I’ve watched every season of MAFS, beginning with Doug and Jamie. This is by far the saddest, weirdest, most unsettling and disappointing season of them all. 

That is not a low bar...

[JenE4]

Forewarning that this might fall into the girl math meme territory. Regarding Austen typically waiting 3-6 months to sleep with someone he’s dating, he’s already spent more cumulative time with his wife being with her 24/7 compared to someone he’s dating and sees once or twice a week for a few hours. I feel like he should take that into account. I’m not sure what day they’re on, but let’s say they’ve been together ~1000 hours, breaking that into 4-hour segments, that’s like 250 dates! It’s like 2 to 2.5 years of “dating” casually.

[Lindz]

Clare looks like she was faking trying to stay in the group. The way she was at the couple's thing... Like. GO AWAY!!! YOU'RE OUT!!! Guess they included Cam footage because of his surgery & that's "interesting." Michael is wearing the hell out of that crown! The other couples are gunna be at his wedding?!?!!! That's not weird AT ALL!!! & the "best" couple can't even be there! Will solo Clare be there? Won't that make them sad, reminding them of how well it started? They really shouldn't go.

Edited January 21 by Lindz

[seacliffsal]

2 hours ago, Lindz said:

Clare looks like she was faking trying to stay in the group. The way he was at the couple's thing... Like. GO AWAY!!! YOU'RE OUT!!! Guess they included Cam because of his surgery & that's "interesting." Michael is wearing the hell out of that crown! The other couples are gunna be at his wedding?!?!!! That's not weird AT ALL!!! & the "best" couple can't even be there. Will solo Clare be there? Won't that make them sad, reminding them of how well it started? They really shouldn't go.

Oh yes, they will be at the wedding as they can't miss another opportunity to be on t.v. (IMO)!

[LennieBriscoe]

21 hours ago, princelina said:

I have no facts, but from observation I think that the ones who do have sex right away don't last.  The ones who last seem to have sex on the honeymoon or shortly after.  Because they are attracted to each other and enjoying the bond they built spending all that time together on the honeymoon.  And as a rule the guy is up for it but acting like a gentleman until the lady gives him a go sign 😄 And then, other than admitting they did the deed, they manage to keep the rest of it pretty private - like when they made Bobby say a fantasy for Danielle to act out, he said he'd like to see her in a ball cap so she wore one 😂. And then they shut the door.  I do think that both Emily and Becca should try a little less "sex positivity" and a little more letting the guy lead - I still remember Emily saying on the honeymoon that they were making out and she was pushing him to tell her when they would have sex - and after that was when he changed.  At this point Becca should tell Austin that they'll make terrariums and feed the fish, but she's done putting moves on him and he's in charge of that.  That will let her see if it's his issue or her pressure that's getting to him.  It's not like it could get worse for her - worth a try IMO!

😉 🤫

 

[Retired at last]

15 hours ago, JenE4 said:

Forewarning that this might fall into the girl math meme territory. Regarding Austen typically waiting 3-6 months to sleep with someone he’s dating, he’s already spent more cumulative time with his wife being with her 24/7 compared to someone he’s dating and sees once or twice a week for a few hours. I feel like he should take that into account. I’m not sure what day they’re on, but let’s say they’ve been together ~1000 hours, breaking that into 4-hour segments, that’s like 250 dates! It’s like 2 to 2.5 years of “dating” casually.

That may be true, but you know they don't have to live together, don't you? Very often, the couples live at their own homes and just get together for their filming schedules. They don't show it as much, but past participants have mentioned it. It may be easier to get to their work locations, or other reasons, but I am pretty sure that many of them, especially this year's batch of misfits, do not spend 24/7 with their spouses.

[zoomama]

did NOT know that! i thought it was part of the bargain -- living in the apartment together.

[Hip-to-be-Square]

2 hours ago, LennieBriscoe said:

😉 🤫

 

Great song choice, LennieBrisco 😄🙌💯!!! I bet Austin leaves his hat on 😅.

[Retired at last]

1 hour ago, zoomama said:

did NOT know that! i thought it was part of the bargain -- living in the apartment together.

They make a big deal when couples refuse to move in together at all, and they DO want them to, but, as I said, many of the past participants said that one or the other of them were not always at the apartments, except for the filming. I think that after the honeymoons and they are back in the real world, they have to be available on weekends and evenings for filming. Depending on where they are working, it does kind of make sense that when the show puts everyone in the same location for ease of filming, it could be really challenging for people to get to their jobs. In earlier seasons, the couples each had their own place or they moved into one of the couples' apartments. Once the show decided there was going to be a lot more interaction, they put them all in the same building and I don't think they care where people work.

[Lindz]

Well that went downhill FAST!!! Straight out the gate with what Emily said!!! 🤣🤣 Brennan's all "we're good" & she said they went backwards & he pushed back against doing the homework... because he didn't want to because... Oh ya, he weasled out of answering by making a fuss. Did that interrupt thing again. Then something about broken trust because she switched up & told her truth instead of repeating "we're good" like she apparently agreed to. He's mad cuz he's gotten no credit for just being there & participating, like that's not good enough... because it's not! She's mad cuz they're not progressing. It's ridiculous that it takes being with an "expert" to talk about that.

[Yeah No]

On 1/19/2024 at 3:29 PM, StatisticalOutlier said:

Brennan's refusing to talk at all is different from what Emily did on the aftershow.  Emily said Brennan got mad and threw things, and then said it was because of something she said.  So the host asked her what she said, and Emily refused to answer.  The host pressed, pointing out that Emily's presenting her version of what happened, and there are facts related to that version that viewers need to be able to have a fuller picture.  Emily refused to respond, apparently believing that her version shouldn't be challenged or even subject to any doubt.

Brennan is just saying nothing, instead of presenting a version of an event and getting pissy when somebody wants some more facts, especially facts that you've alluded to but not actually stated.

I get what you're saying but I don't see much difference between the two.  Brennan has pushed back with Dr. Pia on giving details of what exactly his problem is with Emily.  He came out with a little bit then clammed up completely and said he didn't want to talk about it publicly.  The only reason people think that was OK is because they're assuming he was being gracious in not outing her bad behavior on TV.  Emily gave a glossed over version of what happened with Brennan but declined to give specific facts or details. Despite that I wouldn't automatically assume it was because she was lying but perhaps for the same reason Brennan didn't want to get specific with facts or details about Emily's behavior either.  I think some people are much more inclined to give Brennan the benefit of the doubt in similar situations than Emily.  Personally I think they're both not coming clean for their own reasons, not because they're being gracious to each other, but that's just my opinion.  I don't think Brennan is any better or worse than Emily on that dimension.

[StatisticalOutlier]

4 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

Emily gave a glossed over version of what happened with Brennan but declined to give specific facts or details. Despite that I wouldn't automatically assume it was because she was lying but perhaps for the same reason Brennan didn't want to get specific with facts or details about Emily's behavior either. 

She did give specific facts and details--Brennan got angry and threw things at the wall as a reaction to something she said.  What did she say that made him react like that?  She refused to say, and it's not because she's protecting Brennan.

[princelina]

6 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

I get what you're saying but I don't see much difference between the two.  Brennan has pushed back with Dr. Pia on giving details of what exactly his problem is with Emily.  He came out with a little bit then clammed up completely and said he didn't want to talk about it publicly.  The only reason people think that was OK is because they're assuming he was being gracious in not outing her bad behavior on TV.  Emily gave a glossed over version of what happened with Brennan but declined to give specific facts or details. Despite that I wouldn't automatically assume it was because she was lying but perhaps for the same reason Brennan didn't want to get specific with facts or details about Emily's behavior either.  I think some people are much more inclined to give Brennan the benefit of the doubt in similar situations than Emily.  Personally I think they're both not coming clean for their own reasons, not because they're being gracious to each other, but that's just my opinion.  I don't think Brennan is any better or worse than Emily on that dimension.

She's not being gracious about him at all - saying he's scary and throwing things at the wall makes him sound bad, and refusing to say what made him act like that seems like she's covering for herself.  Whereas he's not telling on what he seems to think is drunken, slutty behavior.  I think he was maybe trying not to look like a jerk on the show, and decided on afterparty he could say it; the only thing that makes her look good, frankly, is when he's coming off as a jerk on the show.

[Yeah No]

1 minute ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

She did give specific facts nd details--Brennan got angry and threw things at the wall as a reaction to something she said.  What did she say that made him react like that?  She refused to say, and it's not because she's protecting Brennan.

I just said I don't think either of them are declining disclosing information to protect the other one but for their own reasons.   But it doesn't even matter what she said to get him angry enough to throw things, his behavior was not excusable no matter what she said so I don't blame her for not disclosing it and I wouldn't assume that her not disclosing it means she's hiding something that would justify it.  Nothing justifies that in my opinion.

4 minutes ago, princelina said:

She's not being gracious about him at all - saying he's scary and throwing things at the wall makes him sound bad, and refusing to say what made him act like that seems like she's covering for herself.  Whereas he's not telling on what he seems to think is drunken, slutty behavior.  I think he was maybe trying not to look like a jerk on the show, and decided on afterparty he could say it; the only thing that makes her look good, frankly, is when he's coming off as a jerk on the show.

No I don't think she's being gracious, I was making a point about how people assume she's being selfish but that he's being gracious.  My point was that I don't think either of them are being gracious.

[princelina]

8 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

No I don't think she's being gracious, I was making a point about how people assume she's being selfish but that he's being gracious.  My point was that I don't think either of them are being gracious.

I don't either, but I think he's making her look better while she's trying to make him look worse.  At this point I don't even care - unless and until the Shower Curtain Incident is mentioned on the show to their friends and/or the "experts" I'm assuming their entire "storyline" is full of crap and a waste of my time! 😃

[Yeah No]

On 1/19/2024 at 3:48 PM, Empress1 said:

It’s just a vibe I get. I’m not getting “I’m really into you but I’m not ready”; I’m getting “I like you as a friend so I’m doing as little as I can get away with.” It’s not just their physical interaction; it’s moments where he’s looked unhappy or can’t look her in the eye. 

 

On 1/19/2024 at 4:15 PM, princelina said:

I just don't!  I dated a guy who was slow moving like that - his excuse was getting over his dead wife.  Turns out he was having sex - with a 19 year old behind my back.  We were in our 30s, his friends didn't like her so I was his "beard" for public events.  And he liked me well enough and we had fun together - that's how I see Austin.

To both of you:  That's how I see Austin too.  I don't think he's cheating with anyone but he's playing with her like a playmate and not a romantic partner.  It feels juvenile and like he isn't really that into her for whatever reason.  It's not necessarily because another woman on his mind, but whatever it is is making him keep an arms length from her which doesn't bode well for their future.  He is not acting like someone that just needs more time.  He is acting like someone that is chronically unable to get past a certain point in a relationship for any number of reasons.  Maybe it's baggage from his childhood, perhaps abuse, perhaps fear of abandonment, you name it.  Who knows, maybe he can't keep it up in bed because of emotional baggage and he's afraid of embarrassment and letting her down.  It could be a lot of things but it all adds up to the same thing:  He's not that into her.

[Yeah No]

12 hours ago, zoomama said:

did NOT know that! i thought it was part of the bargain -- living in the apartment together.

10 hours ago, Retired at last said:

They make a big deal when couples refuse to move in together at all, and they DO want them to, but, as I said, many of the past participants said that one or the other of them were not always at the apartments, except for the filming. 

They used to make a big deal about it but I've been suspecting that more and more in recent seasons the show is not letting us know when some of these couples aren't living together.  We have found this out later on in some cases after weeks and it only came out in passing.  I think in some cases we don't find out at all anymore.  For all we know none of them lived together at all this season.  You bring up a good point about the apartments not being conveniently located to get to work for some of them, but that kind of forces these couples not to live together which defeats the purpose of having them in those apartments.  And then hiding that from us is even more defeating.  This show is getting to be more and more of a sham as time goes on.

[SummerDreams]

5 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

She did give specific facts and details--Brennan got angry and threw things at the wall as a reaction to something she said.  What did she say that made him react like that?  She refused to say, and it's not because she's protecting Brennan.

To be honest I wouldn't care WHAT made him angry, the fact he reacted like that is enough for me to run away from him. It's like asking a woman who was raped "what were you wearing?". Doesn't matter.