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S05.E09: Sarper and the City


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Sarper claims he is ready to give up his bad boy lifestyle for Shekinah; an attempt at reconciliation between Kimberly and TJ's family goes wrong; Brandan and Mary stress over money; Kirsten confronts Julio about postponing his move.

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I guess Mary's go-to move is to cry and pretend like she is on the verge of a panic attack every time for everything when she isn't getting her way.  Apparently, it's not just jealousy issues.  

Looking at Sarper makes me feel unclean!  

Wow, Julio is cold.  Kirsten can do so much better.  

TJ and Kimberly - Yawn!  

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Yash is his mother's son. And I don't mean that as a compliment.

Miss Debbie seems to be often wrong about who's the bad guy on Pillow Talk. And it was kind of funny when she and her son were saying how everyone should work their ass off while they're getting paid to sit on a couch and watch TV.  (I know her son's a cop or something, though.)

I think if TJ and Kim lived in the US, they could be happy. No way if they live with his family and she's smart not to live there. His mother and brother are awful.

Edited by JeanJean
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I seriously doubt 300 separate brides slept with Sarper because he performed at their Bachelorette parties. And his claims of high testosterone are similarly ridiculous. I'd bet money that Minute Maid and Tropicana combined don't "juice" as much as he does.

Meanwhile, Shekinah married a 50-year-old when she was 23??? When she was speaking with her ex, her eyebrows wouldn't have been out of place in a Star Trek episode.

Everybody in the TJ/Kim (who I now refer to exclusively as "The Sheikh from Dubai") storyline is awful. She's as demanding as always, and the family has clearly had enough of her shit, causing them to lash out over trivial crap like the holes in her jeans.

They should get Yash and that "Spahkles" guy together for Pillow Talk episodes.

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8 hours ago, Sir RaiderDuck OMS said:

Everybody in the TJ/Kim (who I now refer to exclusively as "The Sheikh from Dubai") storyline is awful. She's as demanding as always, and the family has clearly had enough of her shit, causing them to lash out over trivial crap like the holes in her jeans.

They should get Yash and that "Spahkles" guy together for Pillow Talk episodes.

In fairness, those jeans are objectively awful.  Patrick and Yash would probably bond..

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Well if Gene Simmons (scary as he is) can claim to have had sex with 5,000 women, I guess Sarper can claim 2,500.

How utterly romantic that Sarper proclaims how magical it was having sex with Shekinah after having sex with 2 other girls.  He had energy because more than likely does none of the work and is a 2 pump chump.

They are a match made in selfie heaven.

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11 hours ago, Sir RaiderDuck OMS said:

like the holes in her jeans.

Seems like the holes get bigger every year.  At some point just wear shorts.

2 hours ago, mytmo said:

Well if Gene Simmons (scary as he is) can claim to have had sex with 5,000 women, I guess Sarper can claim 2,500.

How utterly romantic that Sarper proclaims how magical it was having sex with Shekinah after having sex with 2 other girls.  He had energy because more than likely does none of the work and is a 2 pump chump.

They are a match made in selfie heaven.

When he said that on a scale of one to eight he is a twelve I was thinking of this amplifier goes to eleven.

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Sarper and Shekinah are so gross I cannot even look at them.  They make Darcey and Stacey look normal.  Sarper looks like a cartoon drawing and Shekinah looks like The Lion King on her way to becoming Jocelyn Wildenstein in a few short years. 

Nice french guy friend looks like original recipe Bradley Cooper before he turned himself into Barry Manilow. 

 

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13 hours ago, Sir RaiderDuck OMS said:

I seriously doubt 300 separate brides slept with Sarper because he performed at their Bachelorette parties. And his claims of high testosterone are similarly ridiculous. I'd bet money that Minute Maid and Tropicana combined don't "juice" as much as he does.

Maybe he stars in those orgy/gang bang videos that get uploaded on free sites. His body is nice and chiseled, but that face, ugh! Both myself and a friend said he looks OLD. Also, her daughter who is away in boarding school---guessing that is code for, "I lost custody and she wants nothing to do with me"

Just now, Stuckathome said:

300 separate brides slept with Sarper because he performed at their Bachelorette parties.

does this seriously happen? When I was invited to a bacherlorette my then fiance flipped out (he can be a bit insecure) and mentioned tht they are just giant fuck fests. I was incredulous----i was about to be related to the bride. Even if I were a cheating ho, I wouldn't do that in front of someone in the family. And vice versa

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19 minutes ago, Stuckathome said:

does this seriously happen? When I was invited to a bacherlorette my then fiance flipped out (he can be a bit insecure) and mentioned tht they are just giant fuck fests. I was incredulous----i was about to be related to the bride. Even if I were a cheating ho, I wouldn't do that in front of someone in the family. And vice versa

Yes it happens. I know a bride that performed oral sex on the stripper at her Bach party (in a private room).

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Kirsten shouldn’t waste another minute on that mouth-breathing mommy’s boy who should just marry one of his loud-mouthed cousins.

Cousin It Holly is so strange.  That blank look on her face frightens me.

Mary believes that the money Brandon was sending before can just magically continue without jobs because the government in the US just hands it out.

Sorry, Kim, I agree with the family.  And we’re not allowed to mow down cows with our cars in the US either 🙄.

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1 hour ago, Stuckathome said:

Maybe he stars in those orgy/gang bang videos that get uploaded on free sites. His body is nice and chiseled, but that face, ugh! Both myself and a friend said he looks OLD. Also, her daughter who is away in boarding school---guessing that is code for, "I lost custody and she wants nothing to do with me"

does this seriously happen? When I was invited to a bacherlorette my then fiance flipped out (he can be a bit insecure) and mentioned tht they are just giant fuck fests. I was incredulous----i was about to be related to the bride. Even if I were a cheating ho, I wouldn't do that in front of someone in the family. And vice versa

My bachelorette party for my first marriage was pizza out with friends and then we hit a dance club (owned by the late Walter Payton) and just had fun. No sexy times! For my second marriage, I stayed home with my son, we ordered in some food and I watched the episode of Sex and the City with Charlotte's marriage to Harry and how everything was going wrong. 

Sad fact, years ago when I worked at a doctor's office, newly married man came in for a STD test. Got it from the stripper along with several of his friends. New wife had to come in to get tested..... I would have divorced him on the spot. 

Edited by libgirl2
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2 hours ago, Stuckathome said:

Maybe he stars in those orgy/gang bang videos that get uploaded on free sites. His body is nice and chiseled, but that face, ugh! Both myself and a friend said he looks OLD. Also, her daughter who is away in boarding school---guessing that is code for, "I lost custody and she wants nothing to do with me"

does this seriously happen? When I was invited to a bacherlorette my then fiance flipped out (he can be a bit insecure) and mentioned tht they are just giant fuck fests. I was incredulous----i was about to be related to the bride. Even if I were a cheating ho, I wouldn't do that in front of someone in the family. And vice versa

I thought Türkiye is a fairly conservative country.  I doubt even in the US half the brides would be willing to sleep with an exotic dancer right before their wedding.

2 hours ago, Stuckathome said:

Also, her daughter who is away in boarding school---guessing that is code for, "I lost custody and she wants nothing to do with me"

Apparently she was married to an NFL player after the old guy so I wonder if he will be mentioned on the show.

1 hour ago, DiamondGirl said:

Kirsten shouldn’t waste another minute on that mouth-breathing mommy’s boy who should just marry one of his loud-mouthed cousins.

They live in the suburbs and the one brother appeared to be in his 20s.  So why can’t he be a role model for the one who looked high-school age?  Also between being a school security officer and DJing at night how much is he even home?  Julio didn’t like her attitude and came up with this thin excuse that his mom needs help with his brothers.

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6 minutes ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

I think we should all be very proud of SharperImage for being monogamous for 79 days. That’s a world’s record, right? The guy is a sex addict. Shekinah (rhymes with “vagina”) is in for a rude awakening.

And that's probably why this couple was only introduced now: either it goes really smoothly or they break up almost immediately. Either way, the producers didn't get much usable footage.

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14 minutes ago, Sir RaiderDuck OMS said:

And that's probably why this couple was only introduced now: either it goes really smoothly or they break up almost immediately. Either way, the producers didn't get much usable footage.

I think they needed a short story after Tyray fizzled out.

Just now, MrBuhBye said:

I think they needed a short story after Tyray fizzled out.

Never mind confused the shows.

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22 minutes ago, Sir RaiderDuck OMS said:

And that's probably why this couple was only introduced now: either it goes really smoothly or they break up almost immediately. Either way, the producers didn't get much usable footage.

I think both this couple and Julio/Kirsten were busts, neither one with much usable footage.  

Come to think of it, now that the show was cut back to hour-long episodes, the whole season may not have had a lot of usable footage.  

Edited by Fable
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How on earth did Brandan think he was going to pay the bills? How did Mary fool him into moving there with no prospect of employment? I googled what is needed to move to the Philippines (that's where they are, right?); there's a LOT of ppwk involved. Visas require proof of income, bank info, work permits, etc. It appears to be a cheap place to live if you already have money, but as we know, Brandan does not. So how is he there legally and how does he expect to stay there?

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I wonder if Brandan just planned to live off the books, working on the family farm. I can't believe that the Phillippines would have meaningful immigration enforcement in a poor rural area, especially if the undocumented person wasn't taking a job or committing crimes. This is the opposite -- he poured money into the community by funding the house construction. So I don't know how much he needs to worry about Filipino ICE coming to get him.

On 9/4/2023 at 9:41 PM, Fable said:

I guess Mary's go-to move is to cry and pretend like she is on the verge of a panic attack every time for everything when she isn't getting her way.  Apparently, it's not just jealousy issues.  

Yep. Hope you're digging it, Brandan!

Poor Daughter Sherika. Even if the whole relationship was orchestrated by the show, it must be humiliating when your friends see your mom making such a fool of herself on TV. The purpose of hooking up with a Turkish meathead you barely know is to show your daughter what a healthy relationship looks like? Riiiight.

Please go home ASAP, Kimberly. It's better for everyone involved.

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8 minutes ago, IvySpice said:

I wonder if Brandan just planned to live off the books, working on the family farm. I can't believe that the Phillippines would have meaningful immigration enforcement in a poor rural area, especially if the undocumented person wasn't taking a job or committing crimes. This is the opposite -- he poured money into the community by funding the house construction. So I don't know how much he needs to worry about Filipino ICE coming to get him.

 

He went there with nothing. When you go to some countries where poverty is high and wages are low, you better have a fat wallet or a good trade/career. 

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13 minutes ago, Kiss my mutt said:

Maybe they’re counting TLC money but mind boggling to me too!

Well, look at how some of these people are still on. They probably saw $$. It might explain why Mary is the way she is.... drama and interest. 

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18 hours ago, Red Bridey said:

How on earth did Brandan think he was going to pay the bills? How did Mary fool him into moving there with no prospect of employment? I googled what is needed to move to the Philippines (that's where they are, right?); there's a LOT of ppwk involved. Visas require proof of income, bank info, work permits, etc. It appears to be a cheap place to live if you already have money, but as we know, Brandan does not. So how is he there legally and how does he expect to stay there?

He's probably on a tourist visa for now to try out living there, no idea how long that lasts though a lot are 3 months. 

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1 hour ago, Shrek said:

He's probably on a tourist visa for now to try out living there, no idea how long that lasts though a lot are 3 months. 

The US Passport gets you 3 months as a tourist after that a trip to a Bureau of Immigration office to extend visas until  as a married couple they can get a spousal permanent  visa. However as a married man the couple can go on a foreign trip, to stop the clock and when they return can get  him a 1 year visa of spouses entering together instead of a 3 month visa that a US Passport got him.

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1 hour ago, Raja said:

The US Passport gets you 3 months as a tourist after that a trip to a Bureau of Immigration office to extend visas until  as a married couple they can get a spousal permanent  visa. However as a married man the couple can go on a foreign trip, to stop the clock and when they return can get  him a 1 year visa of spouses entering together instead of a 3 month visa that a US Passport got him.

He's not in the US so none of that matters.

I misunderstood your post, apologies Raja & thanks for the info.

 

Edited by Shrek
Misunderstood.
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So Mary thinks every American lives in a palace like Versailles & the Government just gives us money? I think I’m living in the wrong America, because every paycheck the Government takes from me. 

Time for Mary to research more about how the average working American lives. Not the ones glorified in LA or NYC on television. 

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I can't stand Kim, but I do hope she gets TF out of dodge and stays away. If TJ's family behaves like that IN FRONT OF A TELEVISION CREW can you imagine how abusive it will be once all the cameras have gone home and she is legally his spouse? I feel for him because it does seem like he loves her (lord knows why) and wants her to be happy and tries and on one side he has his family constantly bitching because Kim won't be the perfect Indian spouse. On the other is Kim bitching because he hasn't recreated the US in their apartment and expects her to adapt to his culture. There is something very, very off in his family----the way the mother shouted down his father, that his brother isn't married off yet, that they even allowed this love match so quickly and easily tells me that they have no luck in getting brides for their sons. I mean, hell, Sumit was a catfishing loser and HIS family found him a bride and arranged the marriage. 

Mary's tears were a bit too much. At this point she cries more than Armando and Kenny combined. Glad Brandan sort of recognizes that this isn't normal behavior and tried to call her out on it.

Spoiler

So disappointing to read that they are married and expecting a baby. What a shitshow, that poor child. 

I sort of get what she is saying about financial opportunity there vs the US. Even in more rural areas, there are grocery stores, bars, fast food, etc---places that the unskilled can find work. No, it doesn't pay a living wage, but it pays SOMETHING. Where she lives what is there?? 

Edited by Stuckathome
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I am in IT, and have worked with a ton of Indian men and women just like TJ over the years.   My take on him is that he would do just fine here in the US, would assimilate immediately, and be able to blend the best of both cultures into his new home in the US, with and Indian-born or American-born spouse.   However, I see no future for Kimberly in India living with the mother and brother.  Sumeet and Jenny certainly had their drama over the years, but living on their own saved their sanity and relationship.

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On 9/5/2023 at 7:21 PM, Cementhead said:

Sarper and Shekinah are so gross I cannot even look at them.  They make Darcey and Stacey look normal.  Sarper looks like a cartoon drawing and Shekinah looks like The Lion King on her way to becoming Jocelyn Wildenstein in a few short years. 

Nice french guy friend looks like original recipe Bradley Cooper before he turned himself into Barry Manilow. 

 

I came to this page specifically for this kind of post. I don't have anyone in real life with whom i can have the discussion "What the Hell has she done to her face?"

Sarper is gross. I wouldn't sleep with him if you paid me.

I thought her ex was Italian not French but maybe that's a reflection of how much the show is destroying my brain cells.

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