S05.E04: Mad About What You Said

[Scarlett45]

 Brandan's first night with Mary is not what he imagined; Wayne offends Holly; Daniele and Yohan make a fresh start; Kirsten sees a new side of Julio; Armando and his mom bump heads; Kimberly and TJ's argument spirals.

 

Air Date: July 31, 2023

[BAForever]

My fast forward skills will be put to the test with Danielle and Yohan segments tonight. I may watch a bit just to see if camera person continues to show unflattering shots of Danielle.

[monicageller]

Okay, TLC, who is in charge of naming these episodes?!

[BAForever]

5 hours ago, monicageller said:

Okay, TLC, who is in charge of naming these episodes?!

I imagine (hope) alcohol is involved- some of them are quite witty. 

[Adeejay]

If TJ actually marries Kimberly, I wish him all the best.  He is going to need it.  

[Scout Finch]

21 hours ago, BAForever said:

My fast forward skills will be put to the test with Danielle and Yohan segments tonight. I may watch a bit just to see if camera person continues to show unflattering shots of Danielle.

They can't use what she doesn't give them.

[DiamondGirl]

6 hours ago, Adeejay said:

If TJ actually marries Kimberly, I wish him all the best.  He is going to need it.  

I totally agree.  Kimberly is a shrew and doesn’t even know what her insults mean.  She gave up everything?  What, exactly?  

[libgirl2]

Everyone was complaining about TJ and while he is no prize, she isn't either. 

[Stuckathome]

I need to catch this on demand to see the TJ parts, but from what I did see.....

Holly, Wayne is not wrong. He may have been an asshole for saying the word prostitute (to be fair she requested the heels in transparent not silver). But you cannot walk around in SA showing your ass like that and expect to be OK. And he knows that it won't just be guys catcalling you, they most likely will get physical and hurt her or worse, but I don't think he wants to outright say, "women get murdered here all the time for less and no one does fuck all about it" because he doesn't want to scare her off. I am a woman, a feminist and it irritates me when other women refuse to just use some common sense. In an ideal world, yeah, you can walk around in a bikini and no one would say shit or hurt you. But this isn't the ideal world. It's like with children, you teach them "don't get in the van with the guy who says he has a lost puppy and needs help looking." Ideally, no one would ever hurt a child, or lie to a child. Not reality. Also there is just something OFF about Holly's face and demeanor. She seems high AF all the time, but I assume that isn't it. So maybe some sort of developmental delay? I mean, she sort of acts like a woman in her early 20s with the whining about her clothes, not a mature 40 something. She made the comment about not being a jeans and tshirt kind of girl with such a sneer, I LOL'd. It's not like she is wearing couture or even just frilly feminine stuff. Jesus, how old is she----she looks late 40s but is she younger? And what kind of store was that? THe dresses looked like either formal wear or stuff that I saw the Golden Girls wearing in the mid 1980s. Surely SA has their equivalent of Macy's or Belk? 

Kirsten, just run. This dude is not ready to commit to you or anyone. He is a slacker who can't speak the language, hasn't found a job, didn't tell anyone that he planned this life with you until just now. He was playing a game and now that it got real, he is panicking and playing the well I will have my own place. Latina moms know how to lay on the guilt and drama. But at his age, he should be able to man up. 

Edited August 1, 2023 by Stuckathome

[1011101010001]

I have never understood why reducing a woman to her genitals by calling her the c word is considered the nuclear option but doing the same to a man by calling him a d is shrugged at.  (Also as most people enjoy these body parts it’s sort of a weird insult to begin with lol.)

Edited August 1, 2023 by MrBuhBye

[libgirl2]

22 minutes ago, Stuckathome said:

Kirsten, just run. This dude is not ready to commit to you or anyone. He is a slacker who can't speak the language, hasn't found a job, didn't tell anyone that he planned this life with you until just now. He was playing a game and now that it got real, he is panicking and playing the well I will have my own place. Latina moms know how to lay on the guilt and drama. But at his age, he should be able to man up. 

Kirsten might be self absorbed with all the selfies but she needs to get away from this guy. I actually felt bad for her last night. She is light years ahead of him. 

16 minutes ago, MrBuhBye said:

I have never understood why reducing a woman to her genitals by calling her the c word is considered the nuclear option but doing the same to a man by calling him a d is shrugged at.  (Also as most people enjoy these body parts it’s sort of a weird insult to begin with lol.)

I agree, yes the d word is used a lot but she should not have gone there. 

[Stuckathome]

3 minutes ago, libgirl2 said:

I actually felt bad for her last night. She is light years ahead of him. 

Agree 100%.....she should just enjoy her vacation as much as she can, head home and let him figure his shit out. He still wants to move there, cool. Where you gonna live? Cause not at my place. Actually she should be thankful this happened this way, because most likely he would have just shown up, moved in and then had excuse after excuse as to why he can't find a job. Hobosexual in the making. 

Speaking of hobosexual.....Statler. Just love how she is all upset that the caravan life isn't up to her standards. When ya know, Dempsey has NO IDEA she plans to move in. 

[libgirl2]

5 minutes ago, Stuckathome said:

Agree 100%.....she should just enjoy her vacation as much as she can, head home and let him figure his shit out. He still wants to move there, cool. Where you gonna live? Cause not at my place. Actually she should be thankful this happened this way, because most likely he would have just shown up, moved in and then had excuse after excuse as to why he can't find a job. Hobosexual in the making. 

Speaking of hobosexual.....Statler. Just love how she is all upset that the caravan life isn't up to her standards. When ya know, Dempsey has NO IDEA she plans to move in. 

Better to cut her losses and leave. 

[1011101010001]

1 hour ago, Stuckathome said:

He still wants to move there, cool. Where you gonna live?

I thought he was worried about finding work there.  How is he going to get a landlord to rent to someone with no job?  Maybe he can prepay as he still lives with mommy at 28.

Edited August 1, 2023 by MrBuhBye

[libgirl2]

5 minutes ago, MrBuhBye said:

I thought he was worried about finding work there.  How is he going to get a landlord to rent to someone with no job?  Maybe he can prepay as he still lives with mommy at 28.

Another person not thinking ahead! 

[Quof]

15 minutes ago, Tango64 said:

And what normal person visits someone with secret plans to move in and stay? 

Daniele.

[Shrek]

1 hour ago, Quof said:

Daniele.

In fairness to @Tango64 he/she did say normal person which would automatically count out anyone on 90 day anything and especially the short, huge assed coconut kicker that is Daniele.  

[CrazyInAlabama]

7 hours ago, Stuckathome said:

I need to catch this on demand to see the TJ parts, but from what I did see.....

Holly, Wayne is not wrong. He may have been an asshole for saying the word prostitute (to be fair she requested the heels in transparent not silver). But you cannot walk around in SA showing your ass like that and expect to be OK. And he knows that it won't just be guys catcalling you, they most likely will get physical and hurt her or worse, but I don't think he wants to outright say, "women get murdered here all the time for less and no one does fuck all about it" because he doesn't want to scare her off. I am a woman, a feminist and it irritates me when other women refuse to just use some common sense. In an ideal world, yeah, you can walk around in a bikini and no one would say shit or hurt you. But this isn't the ideal world. It's like with children, you teach them "don't get in the van with the guy who says he has a lost puppy and needs help looking." Ideally, no one would ever hurt a child, or lie to a child. Not reality. Also there is just something OFF about Holly's face and demeanor. She seems high AF all the time, but I assume that isn't it. So maybe some sort of developmental delay? I mean, she sort of acts like a woman in her early 20s with the whining about her clothes, not a mature 40 something. She made the comment about not being a jeans and tshirt kind of girl with such a sneer, I LOL'd. It's not like she is wearing couture or even just frilly feminine stuff. Jesus, how old is she----she looks late 40s but is she younger? And what kind of store was that? THe dresses looked like either formal wear or stuff that I saw the Golden Girls wearing in the mid 1980s. Surely SA has their equivalent of Macy's or Belk? 

 

I bet the big department stores don't allow filming, and certainly not endless filming of arguments, filmed over and over.    Wayne is right, if Holly goes out dressed like the awful dresses she likes, she'll be lucky to only have nasty yelling at her, and it could be even worse.   It's South Africa, not the safest place to dress like that. 

 If they really want to marry, then Holly should try to respect the fact that Wayne's relatives might be much more conservative than she is, and dress like an adult, not like she's going to some nightclub.    You dress to fit the area you're living in, don't expect to have a mode of behavior or dress that was OK where you came from to be acceptable when you move.   I'm wondering if Holly's prefered style of dress is all that acceptable where she is from? 

Edited August 1, 2023 by CrazyInAlabama

[Kid]

My opinion is not the popular one but I think Kimberly needs to go home NOW!!  He is a big baby and it's them against her and it's not going to get any better.  It will only get worse.  Cut your losses!!!

Besides the fact that I do not like him or his family, again, it is an American woman going into a culture that she has not bothered to research, and then being upset when things are not as she expected them to be in the culture in which she was raised.  And his side of it is that his family does not want an American wife for him. So, if he can't break away from his family, he needs to find a wife that they feel is appropriate for him.

Edited August 1, 2023 by Kid

[1011101010001]

51 minutes ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

if Holly goes out dressed like the awful dresses she likes

The clothes she wears are also not age appropriate.  She is middle-aged not a coed.

29 minutes ago, Kid said:

My opinion is not the popular one but I think Kimberly needs to go home NOW!!

No matter whom you blame this is the correct answer.

30 minutes ago, Kid said:

in the culture in which she was raised

It’s not like Alabama is the Hamptons either.

Edited August 1, 2023 by MrBuhBye

[Shrek]

4 minutes ago, MrBuhBye said:

The clothes she wears are also not age appropriate.  She is middle-aged not a coed.

 

I'm guessing she shops for clothes at Forever 21 or as a coworker termed it "Sluts R Us", which was a joke after seeing some of the clothes that they sell & is not a comment on Holly.

[Stuckathome]

11 minutes ago, MrBuhBye said:

The clothes she wears are also not age appropriate.  She is middle-aged not a coed.

I don't know why Wayne doesn't just say look you can wear all this stuff at home all you want. But out on the street in public you need to cover up or you will be in for a lot of problems---he is not wrong and he is being practical. Instead he throws in comments about not wanting people to look at her like a piece of meat or think she is single or a prostitute.  

[1011101010001]

19 minutes ago, Stuckathome said:

I don't know why Wayne doesn't just say look you can wear all this stuff at home all you want. But out on the street in public you need to cover up or you will be in for a lot of problems---he is not wrong and he is being practical. Instead he throws in comments about not wanting people to look at her like a piece of meat or think she is single or a prostitute.  

I’m pretty sure that in their religion they dress more conservatively too so there is than in addition to safety.

[Stuckathome]

33 minutes ago, MrBuhBye said:

I’m pretty sure that in their religion they dress more conservatively too so there is than in addition to safety.

there is that too, although they seem a bit relaxed and not as devout as some other JW I have met. I also thought she was a convert later in life? But her mother seems to be a JW too (the chaperoning).....

[1011101010001]

1 minute ago, Stuckathome said:

there is that too, although they seem a bit relaxed and not as devout as some other JW I have met. I also thought she was a convert later in life? But her mother seems to be a JW too (the chaperoning).....

I thought she said she drifted away from it but was returning but my mind numbs watching this show. 

[Kath94]

She lived in Salt Lake City but didn't want to date anyone local.  No explanation, but my guess is that most of the locals are LDS.

She doesn't seem to be a practicing JW but wanted someone who had the same background, hence the JW dating site.  She is definitely no longer practicing but they haven't given us any background on him yet.  You'd think she'd figure out what was considered "normal public dress" during her last visit.  But maybe Wayne wasn't too concerned because she was only visiting that time.

I don't get the "chaperone" either.  Holly visited alone once before, and you just KNOW that weren't concerned with chastity during that visit.

[anoninrva]

But TJ *is* a dick.  It's completely warranted here, confused anatomy aside.

[Scarlett45]

13 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

I have never understood why reducing a woman to her genitals by calling her the c word is considered the nuclear option but doing the same to a man by calling him a d is shrugged at.  (Also as most people enjoy these body parts it’s sort of a weird insult to begin with lol.)

Misogyny. Male genitalia is seen as a symbol of power. 

[1011101010001]

2 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

Misogyny. Male genitalia is seen as a symbol of power. 

That explains the Washington Monument!

[IvySpice]

I hate both Kimberly and TJ, but he's on his own turf, surrounded by his friends and family, so I'm a lot less patient with his failings.

It looks like the truth is dawning on Kirsten, so hopefully she'll get away from this whole fiasco with a few extra bucks and a minor bruise to her dignity. There are lots of things to love about America, but if I were Dutch, I wouldn't be interested in moving here, either. Definitely not if I were following a man-child like Julio.

[CrazyInAlabama]

19 hours ago, Kath94 said:

She lived in Salt Lake City but didn't want to date anyone local.  No explanation, but my guess is that most of the locals are LDS.

She doesn't seem to be a practicing JW but wanted someone who had the same background, hence the JW dating site.  She is definitely no longer practicing but they haven't given us any background on him yet.  You'd think she'd figure out what was considered "normal public dress" during her last visit.  But maybe Wayne wasn't too concerned because she was only visiting that time.

I don't get the "chaperone" either.  Holly visited alone once before, and you just KNOW that weren't concerned with chastity during that visit.

From what I've read, Holly and Wayne are both former JW's.   They met online in a board for former JW's. 

I'm wondering if the dress incident is a storyline?   I wouldn't be surprised if it is a faked argument, and that's another reason they used that small dress shop for the argument and filming. 

[Kid]

There is something very off about Holly.  That, or she is drugged out of her mind.

[libgirl2]

5 hours ago, IvySpice said:

I hate both Kimberly and TJ, but he's on his own turf, surrounded by his friends and family, so I'm a lot less patient with his failings.

It looks like the truth is dawning on Kirsten, so hopefully she'll get away from this whole fiasco with a few extra bucks and a minor bruise to her dignity. There are lots of things to love about America, but if I were Dutch, I wouldn't be interested in moving here, either. Definitely not if I were following a man-child like Julio.

The Netherlands looks like a lovely place to live. 

[Natalie68]

1 hour ago, Kid said:

There is something very off about Holly.  That, or she is drugged out of her mind.

She seems drugged to me.  I started side eyeing her when she was barfing at the airport.  Seems like a withdrawal to me.

[Kid]

18 minutes ago, Natalie68 said:

She seems drugged to me.  I started side eyeing her when she was barfing at the airport.  Seems like a withdrawal to me.

I had not thought of that but that makes perfect sense!!

[lilmarysunshine]

On 8/1/2023 at 10:08 PM, Scarlett45 said:

Misogyny. Male genitalia is seen as a symbol of power. 

But being called a dick is not flattering. You are basically calling someone an asshole, which is similar to c*nt, I think. None of it is nice! 

I don’t like TJ or his family but Kimberly sure doesn’t worry about giving his people a bad impression of her.  lol

Edited August 3, 2023 by lilmarysunshine

[1011101010001]

Well she was there for a year in the past so maybe she feels like she knows them well enough to act like her true self.

[Stuckathome]

49 minutes ago, MrBuhBye said:

Well she was there for a year

Yet somehow she thinks she won't be expected to keep a household the way an Indian wife would? She expects Toll Brothers quality construction in India, on the cheap? Neither she nor TJ are a prize lol. I think his family is going along with this marriage because 1). he has a short fuse and they are terrified of him and 2) none of the attempts to arrange a marriage have worked out because of his short fuse adn just overall loser vibe. I mean, shit, SUMIT found a bride.....WTF

[1011101010001]

The brother is better looking and still single.  Maybe they are the angry family.  The parents have been at odds over something for 20 years.

[Fable]

18 hours ago, Natalie68 said:

She seems drugged to me.  I started side eyeing her when she was barfing at the airport.  Seems like a withdrawal to me.

I get the impression that she is both developmentally impaired and abusing substances.  Her affect makes me think of what I would imagine a 7-year-old who just consumed alcohol would act like.  

[Scarlett45]

On 8/2/2023 at 10:44 AM, IvySpice said:

I hate both Kimberly and TJ, but he's on his own turf, surrounded by his friends and family, so I'm a lot less patient with his failings.

It looks like the truth is dawning on Kirsten, so hopefully she'll get away from this whole fiasco with a few extra bucks and a minor bruise to her dignity. There are lots of things to love about America, but if I were Dutch, I wouldn't be interested in moving here, either. Definitely not if I were following a man-child like Julio.

I believe Kristen was blindsided, and Julio just decided to go against their plan. I don’t know what is deal is, is he having cold feet? Leading her on? Wants to keep his options open until he makes sure he can’t meet anyone “better”? Run Kristen, if I were her, I wouldn’t trust him at all any more. 

[Stuckathome]

Mary and Brandan.....the scene when they are getting ready for bed. That was some BS. Sorry, you have had phone sex and been connected 24/7 for 2 years and you ask him to sleep head to foot? At age 22?? Again, callign BS that she is a virgin. I think the family thinks they need to sell that tale to lock down the husband and future green card. LOL'd when he said they need to get an exterminator out to the house. Look around doofus, there is no escaping the insects. That house is a mansion compared to the hovels we usually see on this show when it comes to the Philippines. 

[Quof]

3 minutes ago, Stuckathome said:

you ask him to sleep head to foot?

Genitals are still aligned. 

[1011101010001]

4 hours ago, Stuckathome said:

Mary and Brandan.....the scene when they are getting ready for bed. That was some BS. Sorry, you have had phone sex and been connected 24/7 for 2 years and you ask him to sleep head to foot? At age 22?? Again, callign BS that she is a virgin. I think the family thinks they need to sell that tale to lock down the husband and future green card. LOL'd when he said they need to get an exterminator out to the house. Look around doofus, there is no escaping the insects. That house is a mansion compared to the hovels we usually see on this show when it comes to the Philippines. 

Bugs and screeching geckos.

4 hours ago, Quof said:

Genitals are still aligned. 

And if they scoot a bit it’s 69.

[J80134]

Your BF shares a room with his mom and brother and dad sleeps on the living room floor, but you think he can afford to build you an upper level suite. Sure Jan.

The virgin Mary's jealous ass wants to fatten her dude up to make him less attractive. No sex until marriage is a great way to get him to the alter quick.

Holly dresses like a trailer park milf. That's her personal style and she's sticking to it. Julian, Ricky & Bubbles think she's the classiest chick in Sunnyvale (trailer park boys ref, for those unfamiliar).

 

[surfgirl]

On 8/7/2023 at 12:25 PM, Stuckathome said:

Mary and Brandan.....the scene when they are getting ready for bed. That was some BS. Sorry, you have had phone sex and been connected 24/7 for 2 years and you ask him to sleep head to foot? At age 22?? Again, callign BS that she is a virgin. I think the family thinks they need to sell that tale to lock down the husband and future green card. LOL'd when he said they need to get an exterminator out to the house. Look around doofus, there is no escaping the insects. That house is a mansion compared to the hovels we usually see on this show when it comes to the Philippines. 

Yes, I notice this too. Mary's house is very nice, nice windows, nice kitchen, I assume that's courtesy of all the money Brandan has been sending her. He's a putz too. Letting someone control him the way she dies. Mary has some serious issues that are beyond Brandan's ability to fix.