Jewish Matchmaking - General Discussion

[chocolatine]

I just watched the third episode. Aleeza, very gently and diplomatically, encouraged Ori to not only think about what he wants but also what he brings to a relationship. I don't think that's going to change him overnight, but at least *someone* is pointing it out to him.

I think the second guy that Aleeza set up for Dani is a much better fit than the first one, but I'm not sure how that will work with her living in Miami and him in Hawaii. 

I dated a Jewish guy a while ago who used to live in Wyoming, though I'm not sure exactly where, and he said there was a rabbi and a decent-sized community in his town, so I was surprised when Noah said he had nobody else to pray with.

As far as what Cindy said about the Tel Aviv f-boys, they do exist, but flakiness and lack of punctuality is a common trait among young Israelis and not the same as being an f-boy.

[Baltimore Betty]

45 minutes ago, chocolatine said:

so I was surprised when Noah said he had nobody else to pray with.

Maybe nobody wanted to pray with him, lol.

My cousin dated a Jewish girl from Laramie Wyoming, she attended a synagogue so there must have been other Jews there as well, she also told me when you ride your horse to school the school takes care of the horse throughout the day which I was fascintated about that fact! 

I think Noah who has lived all over the world is a loner so maybe feeling or being isolated comes naturally to him, either way unless he is willing to put down roots somewhere it will be hard to find a long term girlfriend let alone a wife.

53 minutes ago, chocolatine said:

punctuality is a common trait among young Israelis

My nearly 70 year old Israeli cousin cannot show up on time for anything and she has lived in the US for 40 years, Israeli time is real.

[cmfran]

On 5/4/2023 at 8:26 PM, Hanya2 said:

I think the professor from Vermont deserves a brighter, more intellectually sophisticated woman, than the CalIfornia girl with an apartment full of unicorns.

And that mama's boy is a total douche. The Israeli actress is way out of his league. I wouldn't go out with someone who lives with their parents, unless they were taking care of a sick parent.

Mama's boy will never find a woman that mama approves of, even if he finds one that meets his ridiculous standards. That alone will keep him single for a very long time.

[Booger666]

With Ori I wish they did the “there are 100 people” thing with him.  There are 100 women, 50 are Israeli, 15 of those are blond and blue eyes, and 5 of those have big boobs; now out of those 5 women who match his criteria how many want to date a middle age guy who: 1) lives at home, 2) is employed by his mom, 3) is of below average looks, and 4) wants 3-4 kids with 3-4 dogs despite having no maturity to raise kids or dogs and no money to support kids or dogs?  A big fat ZERO.

On the opposite spectrum we have Aron.  His intellect, graciousness, and ability to connect with someone makes him incredibly sexy.  That guy will have no problem getting dates in the future.

[Harvey]

On 5/8/2023 at 4:08 AM, Kiss my mutt said:

I’m hoping that the girl that Ori wants gives him the old heave-ho. His ego needs to be taken down several notches.

Update: she did! She finished school and is currently travelling through south america, Ori is still living at home & working for mom. They are not together.

source: https://screenrant.com/jewish-matchmaking-ori-basly-karin-lang-still-together/

[sandwoman]

On 5/10/2023 at 2:49 PM, Baltimore Betty said:

My cousin dated a Jewish girl from Laramie Wyoming, she attended a synagogue so there must have been other Jews there as well, she also told me when you ride your horse to school the school takes care of the horse throughout the day which I was fascintated about that fact! 

I'm surprised to hear that! My husband is from Wyoming and I feel like his family has never met anyone Jewish before me... 

Oy! Ori! He's so so cringy! I'm only two episodes in and I want to fast forward him. I hope he gets humbled big time. But he probably won't!

This is a really lame thing to say, but I'm really surprised David is single! Why he hasn't been matched up by people at his synagogue or in his Sephardic club? He seems like a catch that everyone in those circles would be after (or at least every mom would be trying to set-up with their daughter). 

Harmonie is really hard to watch too. 

[chocolatine]

I finished watching the season. My favorite of Aleeza's clients was Fay - I could never live the frum lifestyle, but I really admire her thoughtfulness and integrity.

I also liked Stuart and the second woman he went out with (the comedian). That was the only viable pairing of the entire season, IMO.

Ori and Harmonie are still my least favorite, but I also really disliked Nykesha. She kept saying that she wanted a man who would get her out of Kansas, but if she hates Kansas so much, why doesn't she leave on her own? She seems like the kind of woman who expects her husband to do everything for her. And don't get me started on "I don't want to date a fat man."

WTF was Tel Aviv Noah doing with a matchmaker if he doesn't plan on getting married for six more years? He seemed very elitist in the way that he dismissed the health coach because she's not planning to become a doctor, so maybe he wants Aleeza to find him only successful and/or highly educated women to date. I also noticed that, while not going about it as obnoxiously as Ori, Noah also said that he wanted a "European looking" woman.

48 minutes ago, sandwoman said:

This is a really lame thing to say, but I'm really surprised David is single! Why he hasn't been matched up by people at his synagogue or in his Sephardic club? He seems like a catch that everyone in those circles would be after (or at least every mom would be trying to set-up with their daughter). 

I think he does get introduced to a lot women, but, if his behavior with Dani is any indication, he doesn't make much of an effort and even seems a bit passive aggressive, so the women probably lose interest after a few dates.

[TrixieTrue]

I enjoyed the show and found Aleeza to be very likable. One thing I was curious about was how much she charged and what kind of promises or guarentees she made. Surely she's not doing this for free!

I agree with everything everyone has already said about Ori. 

 

[Baltimore Betty]

There are a lot of matchmakers in Jewish communities, one is the Rebbetzan, the rabbi's wife, she even helps brides select a wedding date that coincides with her ovulation, (You should get pregnant on your wedding night, it's a blessing, lol), before dating a lot of Orthodox Jewish people get blood tests done to see if they are a carrier of Tay Sach's disease (and others), the matchmaker should be very concerned that two people that might have a child with the disease should not marry.  I wonder if Aleeza looks in to that when matching couples?  

 

[Baltimore Betty]

And I know Wyoming Noah's ex girlfriend, she is my pet sitter, they were going to move in together and get engaged but he decided to move to Denver, no compromise, he just up and moved. I would say he is impulsive and perhaps that is why he cannot find someone to settle down with, he is a moving target!

I know someone who had met Stuart's date, the comic, she is reported to be very funny and has a foundation for kids with Tourettes.

Same person who met the comic told me she has a friend who moved to Tel Aviv, went to some singles function and was selected from the audience to be fixed up but none other but Aleeza! Not sure if the match took but at least we know she is the real deal.

[awaken]

I thought Stuart and his final date were a great match! They both seem to enjoy each others’ quirkiness and sense of humor. I’d like to know what happens to them!

what was with Naykysha (?) ‘s hat on the last date?  I thought it was a strange choice. She does know she can up and move out of Kansas anytime she wants, without being matched up with a man, right?
 

I’d like to learn more about why it’s so difficult to live in Tel Aviv.  It seems like it was brought up a few times. 

Edited May 19, 2023 by awaken

[chocolatine]

39 minutes ago, awaken said:

I’d like to learn more about why it’s so difficult to live in Tel Aviv.  It seems like it was brought up a few times. 

It's a very expensive city, kind of like NYC and SF are in the US. Few people can afford to buy or even rent an apartment there. Like Noah said, "just existing" there costs money. Of course, there are much more affordable areas outside of Tel Aviv, so the people who are complaining have other options. But Tel Aviv has great restaurants, nightlife, and beaches, which young people are really drawn to.

[Scarlett45]

On 5/16/2023 at 2:04 AM, chocolatine said:

I think he does get introduced to a lot women, but, if his behavior with Dani is any indication, he doesn't make much of an effort and even seems a bit passive aggressive, so the women probably lose interest after a few dates.

I could agree with this. I also think he may suffer from a “lazy millennial man” syndrome, he thinks the fact that he showed up means the woman is supposed to fall all over him. I don’t doubt he meets a lot of women because he’s cute and personable, but anyone looking for a real relationship may give him a bit of time for the fun of it, and moves on when he doesn’t reciprocate. 
 

It was rude of him to say he was coming to her birthday and just not show up! He couldn’t even text? And then he wanted to make out- I had to roll my eyes. 

[Rahul]

I was on the fence about watching this show but I'm glad I gave it a try because I enjoyed Indian Matchmaking and the creator, Smriti Mundhra is an executive producer on this one. Aleeza was a great find. Not only is she warm, personable and highly charismatic but she's able to relate to both the more secular, reform Jews as well as the frum Orthodox ones. This show would have never worked with a traditional orthodox or Hassidic matchmaker unless it was going to be strictly confined to that particular community. That being said, the expansion to run the gamut of practicing Jews led to many noticeable cases of people that really had no business on this show just looking for their 15 minutes of fame (I'm looking at you Ori, Dani, David, Italian Noah and maybe even Nakysha). 

I also felt that several of the men featured--notably Wyoming Noah, Ryan and Stuart are closeted and not at all interested in women. Could be wrong about Stuart though--those artsy types can be confusing. 

[Jax7917]

On 5/9/2023 at 6:41 PM, Baltimore Betty said:

Same here but I do embrace some of the traditions and I do speak (not fluent at all) Yiddish when I need a really good descriptive word for something, I do not keep kosher but I light candles Friday night, etc...I married someone that does not care about any of that but grew up in a kosher home and went as far as Hebrew College after his Bar Mitzvah.

Aleeza is smart in asking about their level of keeping religious observances and what not but at what point does she tell the Ori's and self proclaimed Unicorn girl that they ain't all that and to look inward and ask themselves what they bring to the table, Aleeza is very nice, maybe too nice.

I met my husband on JDate, it was almost 20 years ago, I do not think I would have the same success today, dating has become a blood sport!

I met my husband on Jdate 9 years ago. I totally agree with you in that dating has gotten horrific in the age of " I can swipe and find someone better." Where does the line get drawn in being able to find better? Even when I met him (who is such a gem), I went on a million dates from that website as well as others, and got so turned off from the whole dating experience. It became such a chore to go on them. I eventually met him but was about to cancel on our date because the night before, I got stood up by another guy who was on Jdate as well. I felt so done with dating that I just had enough. Thankfully I went though as here we are 9 years later with 2 kids. 

Watching this show brings back all of the horrible dating memories. People are just scummy and you forget how hard it is to just find one normal person. I think the people going on these matchmaking shows are just going on to find 5 minutes of fame rather than getting a true matchmaking experience to get marriage out of it.

On 5/19/2023 at 1:30 PM, Scarlett45 said:

I could agree with this. I also think he may suffer from a “lazy millennial man” syndrome, he thinks the fact that he showed up means the woman is supposed to fall all over him. I don’t doubt he meets a lot of women because he’s cute and personable, but anyone looking for a real relationship may give him a bit of time for the fun of it, and moves on when he doesn’t reciprocate. 
 

It was rude of him to say he was coming to her birthday and just not show up! He couldn’t even text? And then he wanted to make out- I had to roll my eyes. 

That guy seemed like such a jerk. And to act that way on camera no less. Imagine how he is in real life!

Even him saying, " I'm not usually like this with girls" was a nice F you to her. I didn't even find the guy good looking at all. The only cute one so far (I'm on episode 5) is the guy set up with Fay. But I think he's a little too jokey. I think she's rightfully so looking for a bit more of a balance.

[Scarlett45]

9 minutes ago, Jax7917 said:

I met my husband on Jdate 9 years ago. I totally agree with you in that dating has gotten horrific in the age of " I can swipe and find someone better." Where does the line get drawn in being able to find better? Even when I met him (who is such a gem), I went on a million dates from that website as well as others, and got so turned off from the whole dating experience. It became such a chore to go on them. I eventually met him but was about to cancel on our date because the night before, I got stood up by another guy who was on Jdate as well. I felt so done with dating that I just had enough. Thankfully I went though as here we are 9 years later with 2 kids. 

Watching this show brings back all of the horrible dating memories. People are just scummy and you forget how hard it is to just find one normal person. I think the people going on these matchmaking shows are just going on to find 5 minutes of fame rather than getting a true matchmaking experience to get marriage out of it.

Hasn’t “modern dating” as opposed to courtship, always been like this though? Yes you have more access to individuals with apps/the internet vs your social circle/bars/clubs/religious and civic events etc but dating is still dating. I’m 37, so most of my adult life online dating has been a thing, and I think this provides for better options than meeting people in your small social circle and things blowing up if it goes awry. Also cheaper than meeting people at professional events etc. 
 

My mom says the reason Drs always dated Drs/nurses is because that’s who you were around all the time back in her day (she’s 75). 
 

The matchmaker here seems to be a highly skilled introduction service but all the “human issues” are still present. 

[Jax7917]

1 hour ago, Scarlett45 said:

Hasn’t “modern dating” as opposed to courtship, always been like this though? Yes you have more access to individuals with apps/the internet vs your social circle/bars/clubs/religious and civic events etc but dating is still dating. I’m 37, so most of my adult life online dating has been a thing, and I think this provides for better options than meeting people in your small social circle and things blowing up if it goes awry. Also cheaper than meeting people at professional events etc. 
 

My mom says the reason Drs always dated Drs/nurses is because that’s who you were around all the time back in her day (she’s 75). 
 

The matchmaker here seems to be a highly skilled introduction service but all the “human issues” are still present. 

I don't think too many options is always a good thing. You are always looking for more, even when what you already have is good.

I think these matchmakers can provide actual matches if only because they are introducing you to someone you have never met before. It's kind of like the show "Love is Blind." You are meeting someone you may not have met if you hadn't done it, but at the end of the day every single person on these shows ends up talking about not being attracted enough and not having the chemistry that they wanted/ needed. I think people like Ori and Nakysha should not even be given the time of day by matchmakers. They aren't serious about finding someone. A level of attraction has to be there for sure, but the list they give of not wanting the guy to be bald, not wanting a brunette, not wanting this type of look or that type of look is just immature. Like Harmonie is so quick to shut down a guy because the spark isn't there.. but she's also 44 and there's a reason she's never been married. She doesn't give the guy enough of a chance before she doesn't want to see him again. These types of people don't care about anything other than looks so why even talk about wanting marriage? They want a one night stand.

[Scarlett45]

1 hour ago, Jax7917 said:

Like Harmonie is so quick to shut down a guy because the spark isn't there.. but she's also 44 and there's a reason she's never been married. She doesn't give the guy enough of a chance before she doesn't want to see him again. These types of people don't care about anything other than looks so why even talk about wanting marriage? They want a one night stand.

I agree. Did Harmonie want a partner or a sexual experience??

[Baltimore Betty]

2 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

I agree. Did Harmonie want a partner or a sexual experience??

Perfect!

I think Harmonie equates sex with love. 

[Jax7917]

18 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Perfect!

I think Harmonie equates sex with love. 

Yes. I think everyone wants to want to have sex with the person they are with, but let's be real. The extremely good looking, charming guys that you want to have sex with right off the bat doesn't always come with the guy being loyal and all about you. They often have many options and aren't interested in making you a priority. Attraction can and does grow if you really love the person's personality. So my point is, go on a few dates and get to know them and if you still aren't interested after a few times, that's one thing. But going on 1 date and saying " I don't want to rip his clothes off" is just silly not to give the person another chance.

[HerkyJerky]

4 minutes ago, Jax7917 said:

So my point is, go on a few dates and get to know them and if you still aren't interested after a few times, that's one thing. But going on 1 date and saying " I don't want to rip his clothes off" is just silly not to give the person another chance.

Ergo, Aleeza's saying, "Date 'em until you hate 'em!"😁

[Scarlett45]

7 hours ago, Jax7917 said:

Yes. I think everyone wants to want to have sex with the person they are with, but let's be real. The extremely good looking, charming guys that you want to have sex with right off the bat doesn't always come with the guy being loyal and all about you. They often have many options and aren't interested in making you a priority. Attraction can and does grow if you really love the person's personality. So my point is, go on a few dates and get to know them and if you still aren't interested after a few times, that's one thing. But going on 1 date and saying " I don't want to rip his clothes off" is just silly not to give the person another chance.

Also- given her age, those men might exist but they are likely 1. Already partnered, 2. (Assuming they are available) may not want kids at all, or might not want any more kids- and Harmonie wants biological kids and she’s over 40. 
 

I have a friend who had her son last year at 41 as a single woman. She spent a number of years taking back a fool (think a Carrie/Big ala SATC situation). She is a kind, attractive, fun human being- by the time she got over the fool, and was looking for the father of her child, she did meet “good men” (attractive, employed, compatible personalities) but they all were either childfree (so no) or had a child (or children) and weren’t interested in more even though they were open to a long term relationship. So she decided to use a donor. It’s a real concern. 

[pasdetrois]

On 5/23/2023 at 4:04 PM, Rahul said:

I also felt that several of the men featured--notably Wyoming Noah, Ryan and Stuart are closeted

I agree with this about at least one of them.

[Jax7917]

31 minutes ago, pasdetrois said:

I agree with this about at least one of them.

Yes I thought for sure Stuart and Wyoming Noah were gay . I was shocked when they said they were looking for a woman . 
 

I kept thinking Stuart in particular was going to say that he was and then even one of his must haves on his list was that they must be pro- gay marriage . I mean , I’d want someone who’s pro gay marriage too but I don’t believe I’d think of that as something that I’m looking for and include it as one of the first things on my list . Was a little odd. 

[Hanya2]

" I’d want someone who’s pro gay marriage too but I don’t believe I’d think of that as something that I’m looking for and include it as one of the first things on my list . Was a little odd. "

 

Personally, I'd put it in the same category as not wanting to date anyone who was racist or anti-choice or anti-gay marriage. Maybe some of the more religious people here, or that this matchmaker deals with, may have led quite insular lives, especially those that live with their parents. So not strange to me.

[atomic]

16 hours ago, Jax7917 said:

Yes I thought for sure Stuart and Wyoming Noah were gay . I was shocked when they said they were looking for a woman . 
 

I kept thinking Stuart in particular was going to say that he was and then even one of his must haves on his list was that they must be pro- gay marriage . I mean , I’d want someone who’s pro gay marriage too but I don’t believe I’d think of that as something that I’m looking for and include it as one of the first things on my list . Was a little odd. 

I loved that Stuart included pro-choice, anti-racist, and non-homophobic in his list of non-negotiables. I also wouldn't want to waste my time going on a date with someone who didn't share those same values.

[HerkyJerky]

2 hours ago, atomic said:

I loved that Stuart included pro-choice, anti-racist, and non-homophobic in his list of non-negotiables

But would somebody actually include that in their bio-data?  Maybe pro choice but I can't imagine somebody would say I'm a racist homophobe in their profile (even if they really were...)

[chocolatine]

27 minutes ago, HerkyJerky said:

But would somebody actually include that in their bio-data?  Maybe pro choice but I can't imagine somebody would say I'm a racist homophobe in their profile (even if they really were...)

If it's important to him, then why not? Many people - including several on this show - have much more superficial and/or arbitrary dealbreakers.

[awaken]

I don’t even remember who Ryan was!  

[Ohmo]

On 5/4/2023 at 8:26 PM, Hanya2 said:

I think the professor from Vermont deserves a brighter, more intellectually sophisticated woman, than the CalIfornia girl with an apartment full of unicorns.

I just finished episode 3.  I understand that physical attraction is necessary, but Harmonie is as obsessed with ripping someone's clothes off as Ori is about beautiful women.  I'd rather ditch Harmonie from the series and focus on the college professor.

Edited May 28, 2023 by Ohmo

[Hanya2]

 "Many people - including several on this show - have much more superficial and/or arbitrary dealbreakers."

Like eyebrows!

[Ohmo]

I just finished the season. Aleeza is fabulous!  More please.

That said, if this is her profession, I need to see a couple where the matchmaking has worked---a couple who's engaged or about to be married.  After watching Indian Matchmaking and Jewish Matchmaking, it's feeling like I'm watching some very entitled people who have lots of money act immaturely and entitled, waste people's time, and not take the process seriously.

Fewer Oris, Nadias (Indian Matchmaking), and Harmonies.  More Arons (college professor), Pamelas, Stuarts, Fayes, and the Sikh cardiologist from Indian Matchmaking.

I'm not Jewish (Aleeza makes me sad about that.  Ha!), but I think chocolatine said it best.  I could never choose the path Faye has chosen, but you gotta give her props.  She seems earnest, genuine, and committed to a frum life.  I respect that, I hope she's successful, and it'd be nice if we could see that type of maturity and success instead of this immature dating merry-go-round.

I started watching these shows to see the development of actual relationships, but i feel like I'm watching a dating app on TV.

[Scarlett45]

14 hours ago, Ohmo said:

I started watching these shows to see the development of actual relationships, but i feel like I'm watching a dating app on TV.

I understand what you’re saying, and I agree. But I wonder if individuals really committed to finding a long term partner are less likely to sign up for the reality tv? For a while I was deep in the 90day universe and one couple who seemed interesting and I’d really like to see navigate newlywed life (Avery & Omar from the 1st season of 90Day the Other Way) only did the one season and said “nope! One season and the money was enough for us.”(they do have a public Instagram).

Im sure some of the participants are genuine, but reality tv attracts fame whores like nothing else!

[Ohmo]

6 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

I understand what you’re saying, and I agree. But I wonder if individuals really committed to finding a long term partner are less likely to sign up for the reality tv? For a while I was deep in the 90day universe and one couple who seemed interesting and I’d really like to see navigate newlywed life (Avery & Omar from the 1st season of 90Day the Other Way) only did the one season and said “nope! One season and the money was enough for us.”(they do have a public Instagram).

Im sure some of the participants are genuine, but reality tv attracts fame whores like nothing else!

I understand what you're saying, too, and there's definitely a certain type of people who are attracted to doing reality TV.  However, both Aleeza and Sima refer to matchmaking as their jobs. Presumably, Aleeza's paid comparably to what Sima's paid.  We've only seen one marriage between Indian Matchmaking and Jewish Matchmaking, and Sima didn't set up that match.  I'd just like to see the process actually work, even if it's retroactively.  Couples who were matched before Netflix, but they can at least say, "Yes, Sima (or Aleeza) matched us in Year X.  Either we got married in Year Y, or we've been in a serious relationship since we were introduced."

[Scarlett45]

24 minutes ago, Ohmo said:

I understand what you're saying, too, and there's definitely a certain type of people who are attracted to doing reality TV.  However, both Aleeza and Sima refer to matchmaking as their jobs. Presumably, Aleeza's paid comparably to what Sima's paid.  We've only seen one marriage between Indian Matchmaking and Jewish Matchmaking, and Sima didn't set up that match.  I'd just like to see the process actually work, even if it's retroactively.  Couples who were matched before Netflix, but they can at least say, "Yes, Sima (or Aleeza) matched us in Year X.  Either we got married in Year Y, or we've been in a serious relationship since we were introduced."

Oh I see! Didn’t we talk to a few couples in the couch scenes if Indian Matchmaker who had been married a while and matched by Sima?

[Ohmo]

50 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

Oh I see! Didn’t we talk to a few couples in the couch scenes if Indian Matchmaker who had been married a while and matched by Sima?

I'm not sure.  I've had the feeling that Netflix has interviewed Jewish and Indian couples who've been married for many years and were matched by a matchmaker, but it wasn't necessarily Sima.  In Aleeza's case, many of the Jewish couples they interviewed were much older than Aleeza and had been married for decades.  She wouldn't be old enough to have been their matchmaker.

[Scarlett45]

4 minutes ago, Ohmo said:

I'm not sure.  I've had the feeling that Netflix has interviewed Jewish and Indian couples who've been married for many years and were matched by a matchmaker, but it wasn't necessarily Sima.  In Aleeza's case, many of the Jewish couples they interviewed were much older than Aleeza and had been married for decades.  She wouldn't be old enough to have been their matchmaker.

I like your idea to have at least one couple per season that’s been matched by the match maker. Or we could follow a couple Aleeza matched who were planning their wedding. 

[chocolatine]

If there's a second season I definitely want to see some couples whom Aleeza had successfully matched. It would be great to get longer segments with them than the vignettes we got this season with the old married couples. I want to hear them talk about how their initial (possibly shallow) expectations changed during the process and how they worked on themselves to become better partners. Because, let's face it, people like Ori, Harmonie, and Nykesha are not going to end up in happy marriages anytime soon unless they invest in self-growth and figure out what really matters in a relationship.

[pasdetrois]

13 hours ago, chocolatine said:

It would be great to get longer segments with them than the vignettes we got this season with the old married couples.

The older couples do not represent modern young people, so they are a kind of false advertising. In their day, the expectation of arranged marriages and cultural prohibition against divorce essentially guaranteed the marriages would remain intact.

I'll be surprised if they can find a modern young couple who were matched and married and also agree to be on TV. I think those numbers are very low.

Which brings us full circle to our speculation that these shows are for Instagram/TickTock-bound "influencers" or are to find hookups. The shows put production dollars in Sima's and Aleeza's pockets while advertising their services. It's a lot of sleight of hand (which I watch).

Edited May 30, 2023 by pasdetrois

[Ohmo]

11 hours ago, pasdetrois said:

Which brings us full circle to our speculation that these shows are for Instagram/TickTock-bound "influencers" or are to find hookups. The shows put production dollars in Sima's and Aleeza's pockets while advertising their services. It's a lot of sleight of hand (which I watch).

That explains the Netflix angle, but someone in the Indian Matchmaking forum researched that Sima charges $20K.  Aleeza is likely commanding a similar rate.  They call themselves matchmakers and say this is their job.  All of their clients aren't going to make it to Netflix. For those that aren't, what are they getting for the money they're paying? Netflix didn't create Sima or Aleeza.

[chocolatine]

5 hours ago, Ohmo said:

That explains the Netflix angle, but someone in the Indian Matchmaking forum researched that Sima charges $20K.  Aleeza is likely commanding a similar rate.  They call themselves matchmakers and say this is their job.  All of their clients aren't going to make it to Netflix. For those that aren't, what are they getting for the money they're paying? Netflix didn't create Sima or Aleeza.

Is the $20k due upfront, or only if/when a match leads to a wedding?

Edited May 31, 2023 by chocolatine

[Starlight925]

I think the fees are dependent on how much travel, how picky the person is, etc.

I've read anywhere from $1500 on up to $50,000.  

There are those matchmaking services that you can see advertised in airplane magazines.  They can charge up to $50,000 (think Patty Stanger, Millionaire Matchmaker).

I was contacted by one of them as a potential candidate for a guy who hired a Patty Stanger type business.  They brought in 3 women, interviewed us all.  I never heard back.  Oh well, no millionaire for me.  😆

But, I know a guy who paid top dollar to one, and he's now married to the love of his life.  So it can, and does, work.

Oh, and the question is, how did they find me?  I have no idea.  I just got a phone call from a woman, asking if I was "still" single, and would I be interested in possibly meeting one of her clients?  The meeting was actually held at a bar, where they had an upstairs private area reserved, but in the middle of the day.  Strange experience.

 

Edited May 31, 2023 by Starlight925

[Rahul]

On 5/26/2023 at 9:56 PM, awaken said:

I don’t even remember who Ryan was!  

Ryan was the midwestern school teacher who flew to Kansas for his roller skating date with Nakysha. He had an older brother with special needs and he laced up Nakysha’s skates during their date.

Edited May 31, 2023 by Rahul

[ItCouldBeWorse]

On 5/28/2023 at 9:26 PM, Ohmo said:

That said, if this is her profession, I need to see a couple where the matchmaking has worked---a couple who's engaged or about to be married. 

On 5/29/2023 at 11:44 AM, Scarlett45 said:

I understand what you’re saying, and I agree. But I wonder if individuals really committed to finding a long term partner are less likely to sign up for the reality tv? For a while I was deep in the 90day universe and one couple who seemed interesting and I’d really like to see navigate newlywed life (Avery & Omar from the 1st season of 90Day the Other Way) only did the one season and said “nope! One season and the money was enough for us.”(they do have a public Instagram).

Im sure some of the participants are genuine, but reality tv attracts fame whores like nothing else!

Yes!  I admit to a bias, but I have trouble having much respect for most people who would go on a television dating show; this show is not nearly as bad as The Bachelor (which I cannot bear to watch), but for many of these singles, the same personality traits that allow them to make fools of themselves on television, are clearly the reasons why they haven't found "the one."  Some of them are definitely more excited about being on television then about finding a spouse.

Aleeza mentioned how many matches she'd made in "real life", and I believe it was a few hundred.  These are likely all religious couples, the vast majority of whom would have no interest in being filmed for television.

Edited June 1, 2023 by ItCouldBeWorse

[ItCouldBeWorse]

On 5/7/2023 at 12:23 PM, Starlight925 said:

A few years ago, I was invited to attend a "Jewish women" event in my city, which I was excited about.  I live nowhere near NY, LA, Chicago, etc., so I was excited to go.

The first thing I noticed was.....everyone had a wig.  Every.One.  Except me.  That was when I knew it was not just a "Jewish women" event, but "Jewish ORTHODOX women".  

Who knew my city had such a large contingent of Orthodox?

They were super nice to me, but it's just not me.  The Rabbi & his wife, who headed up the event, both sent me friend requests, and I continued to get emails.  Sort of like....come....join us....lol.

Only the married women (or women who had previously been married) would be wearing wigs, so it appears there were no single women there.

[Orcinus orca]

What a collection of shallow, vapid, self-centered creatures!

I truly liked Aleeza and she had some nice tips for daters but there wasn't a single person in that bunch that I would have the slightest interest in even meeting.

I really thought the whole Jewish part was more of a sideline except for the one girl who wanted to be frum.  Other than her, for the rest of them it was barely mentioned and no decisions were made on the basis of their devotion.  Italian Noah put more emphasis on cat vs dog lover.

I would wager none are married at this point and certainly not to the person with whom they were "matched".

[ladle]

Which actress does Ori’s mom look like??? This is driving me crazy! Please help me, kind people of the interwebs! 

[Mercolleen]

On 5/3/2023 at 9:56 PM, Kiss my mutt said:

He only has a job because of mom and admits he doesn’t have enough money to live on his own  

Either mom is withholding a decent salary because she wants him to live with her forever or the business isn't doing well ... 

[tvrox]

On 5/18/2023 at 9:17 PM, Baltimore Betty said:

And I know Wyoming Noah's ex girlfriend, she is my pet sitter, they were going to move in together and get engaged but he decided to move to Denver, no compromise, he just up and moved. I would say he is impulsive and perhaps that is why he cannot find someone to settle down with, he is a moving target!

I know someone who had met Stuart's date, the comic, she is reported to be very funny and has a foundation for kids with Tourettes.

Same person who met the comic told me she has a friend who moved to Tel Aviv, went to some singles function and was selected from the audience to be fixed up but none other but Aleeza! Not sure if the match took but at least we know she is the real deal.

Is Stuart's date a little person? I mean, I'm short (5'2) but she was really short and her proportions were also off. 

On 5/19/2023 at 1:30 PM, Scarlett45 said:

I could agree with this. I also think he may suffer from a “lazy millennial man” syndrome, he thinks the fact that he showed up means the woman is supposed to fall all over him. I don’t doubt he meets a lot of women because he’s cute and personable, but anyone looking for a real relationship may give him a bit of time for the fun of it, and moves on when he doesn’t reciprocate. 
 

It was rude of him to say he was coming to her birthday and just not show up! He couldn’t even text? And then he wanted to make out- I had to roll my eyes. 

And he claimed he couldn't make it to her birthday because it was the Sabbath? That's ok, if that's important to you, but it's not like the day of the week was a surprise. He had time to tell her he would not be able to make it. Ridiculous.

[Baltimore Betty]

17 minutes ago, tvrox said:

s Stuart's date a little person? I mean, I'm short (5'2) but she was really short and her proportions were also off. 

On 5/19/2023 at 1:30 PM, Scarlett45 said:

Yes, she is a little person.  Update, she just recently spent three days at the camp where my friend and her husband work in the summers, (they are teachers so they work at the camp in the Poconos that they each attended), her mission is to normalize being different, the kids loved her and she was generous with info about the date with Stuart, it was a one and done, she said he was a nice guy but it was going to be a no go for her.