Chit-Chat: What's On Your Mind Today?

Absolom · July 9

The entitlement reminds me of visitors we had years ago. A friend from where we lived a year prior was coming to town and I invited her to stay with us. She then said well her boyfriend was coming too so I said sure he could stay. I was pregnant and on modified rest so made food in advance by doubling recipes and freezing half. Well Mr. Fussbudget decided he didn't like previously frozen casseroles and told his girlfriend I needed to make fresh from scratch food every night. I said I'm sorry, but you know I'm on modified rest so he can eat what the rest of us are having or walk to one of the six fast food places that are within half a mile of the house. That or he can shop and cook for all of us. His face was priceless that I wasn't going to give into his demands.

Anela · July 9

You can get secondhand iPads on Amazon or EBay, but I would ask them to order their own TV and send it to you. Or their own iPad. If they have a cable service, they should be able to log in online, and watch their shows.

Edited July 9 by Anela

Shelbie · July 9

20 minutes ago, Absolom said:

The entitlement reminds me of visitors we had years ago. A friend from where we lived a year prior was coming to town and I invited her to stay with us. She then said well her boyfriend was coming too so I said sure he could stay. I was pregnant and on modified rest so made food in advance by doubling recipes and freezing half. Well Mr. Fussbudget decided he didn't like previously frozen casseroles and told his girlfriend I needed to make fresh from scratch food every night. I said I'm sorry, but you know I'm on modified rest so he can eat what the rest of us are having or walk to one of the six fast food places that are within half a mile of the house. That or he can shop and cook for all of us. His face was priceless that I wasn't going to give into his demands.

Good for you for standing up to an absolute jerk. How dare a guest demand anything especially from a pregnant woman on modified bed rest.

supposebly · July 9

25 minutes ago, Absolom said:

Well Mr. Fussbudget decided he didn't like previously frozen casseroles and told his girlfriend I needed to make fresh from scratch food every night.

Did they stay together?

Absolom · July 9

I think perhaps three or four more months. He pulled something similar on her. I think it went along the lines of he told her to get up out of bed and make him a meal when she had flu. I believe he was advised where the door was and how to use it.

shapeshifter · July 9

48 minutes ago, Absolom said:

I think perhaps three or four more months. He pulled something similar on her. I think it went along the lines of he told her to get up out of bed and make him a meal when she had flu. I believe he was advised where the door was and how to use it.

And that is why the flu was invented.

annzeepark914 · July 10

Wow. I just learned that preteen girls spend around $2 billion a year in skincare products. It was awful watching these tween girls applying moisturizers to their sweet little faces, talking about face masks! They buy a lot of their products at Sephora. Has anyone else heard of this?

Absolom · July 10

We have to tell granddaughter there is a lot of hooey spilled in the world and how not to fall for it.

PRgal · July 10

32 minutes ago, annzeepark914 said:

Wow. I just learned that preteen girls spend around $2 billion a year in skincare products. It was awful watching these tween girls applying moisturizers to their sweet little faces, talking about face masks! They buy a lot of their products at Sephora. Has anyone else heard of this?

When I was 12, it was just Bonne Bell's Lipsmackers. My mom wanted me to wear sunscreen (she was an early user) but I avoided it until I was maybe 15? My Lipsmacker use was right before I started getting pimples, but within a year, I was all about 10-0-6 astringent and OXY pads. I remember the 90s well. I don't think boys are that different. Have you seen those kiddos and their hair product? I think kids are just spending more money than we did back in the day. And the parents are letting them.

Note: I was living in Bermuda when I was 12 and EVERY SINGLE GIRL IN MY CLASS wanted stuff from The Body Shop for the gift exchange. It was the first time I had heard of the store. This was December 1991.

oliviabenson · July 10

4 hours ago, Absolom said:

The entitlement reminds me of visitors we had years ago. A friend from where we lived a year prior was coming to town and I invited her to stay with us. She then said well her boyfriend was coming too so I said sure he could stay. I was pregnant and on modified rest so made food in advance by doubling recipes and freezing half. Well Mr. Fussbudget decided he didn't like previously frozen casseroles and told his girlfriend I needed to make fresh from scratch food every night. I said I'm sorry, but you know I'm on modified rest so he can eat what the rest of us are having or walk to one of the six fast food places that are within half a mile of the house. That or he can shop and cook for all of us. His face was priceless that I wasn't going to give into his demands.

What a donkey!

I rather be single that have a boyfriend like that.

oliviabenson · July 10

@Mindthinkr you seem to attract strange people just like me.

Can you ask around maybe someone has an old tablet they can give away. I have 2 old tablets I tried giving away and no one wanted them! Otherwise they can buy their own stuff!

Mindthinkr · July 10

5 hours ago, Browncoat said:

I am also curious why this person can't bring their laptop.

This person is a retired professional photographer from NYC and has all of his available carry on allotment full of cameras, lenses etc. He doesn’t want to pay the airline $50 to take his laptop as well yes, he’s cheap and proud of it

My girlfriend offed to let me borrow her smart tv, and he can use my Amazon account for movies or stream like I do.

We have been friends for over 5 decades.
Y’all make me laugh because he has already started to let me know what he will and will not eat right down to “It needs to come from a Farmers market” to brands. I really think he has Asperger’s. He only has one other friend. I know he doesn’t understand many social clues, and seems like a narcissist to someone who doesn’t understand. However, if you want a picture or to know something about photography, he’s your man. I’m numb to all the camera talk. Too much all my life.

Thank you everyone for your suggestions. If he needs something I’ll suggest he buys a Fire tablet mentioned upthread. It will be his birthday while he’s here (10 days), but my plan was to take him out to dinner. No extra gifts from me.

annzeepark914 · July 10

@Mindthinkr You're a good friend.

StatisticalOutlier · July 10

43 minutes ago, Mindthinkr said:

He only has one other friend.

That tracks.

StatisticalOutlier · July 10

3 hours ago, annzeepark914 said:

Has anyone else heard of this?

I have, because I was listening to the radio in the car and they did a segment on it today on Marketplace. It's more than just moisturizers--it's anti-aging creams that promote cell turnover. That's good for old skin, or acne, but not for normal young skin.

They also mix products to make "skin care smoothies." Dermatologists are alarmed.

Here's the shocker: they're getting it from social media.

Anela · July 10

1 hour ago, Mindthinkr said:

This person is a retired professional photographer from NYC and has all of his available carry on allotment full of cameras, lenses etc. He doesn’t want to pay the airline $50 to take his laptop as well yes, he’s cheap and proud of it

My girlfriend offed to let me borrow her smart tv, and he can use my Amazon account for movies or stream like I do.

We have been friends for over 5 decades.
Y’all make me laugh because he has already started to let me know what he will and will not eat right down to “It needs to come from a Farmers market” to brands. I really think he has Asperger’s. He only has one other friend. I know he doesn’t understand many social clues, and seems like a narcissist to someone who doesn’t understand. However, if you want a picture or to know something about photography, he’s your man. I’m numb to all the camera talk. Too much all my life.

Thank you everyone for your suggestions. If he needs something I’ll suggest he buys a Fire tablet mentioned upthread. It will be his birthday while he’s here (10 days), but my plan was to take him out to dinner. No extra gifts from me.

So he was prioritizing other things over it. That’s what I thought.

It just reminded me of someone who was a friend of my mother’s. She admitted to using us for a place to stay, instead of paying for a hotel, when we lived in California. She wasn’t there to see all of us, and tried to hit on my dad, in front of my mum. In the car. He ignored her, so she tried again.

Bastet · July 10

4 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

He doesn’t want to pay the airline $50 to take his laptop as well yes, he’s cheap and proud of it

Then he should be proud of you for not shelling out far more than $50 to hook him up with internet and streaming access for not even two weeks.

4 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

I really think he has Asperger’s.

And? An ASD diagnosis is not a get-out-of-jail-free card. People on the spectrum need those who love and understand them to help them pick up on cues they'd miss on their own in order to change their behavior, but they can simultaneously have a disorder and be a right royal shit; not everything is outside their control due to the disorder. An asshole with ASD is still an asshole.

shapeshifter · July 10

8 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

My girlfriend offed to let me borrow her smart tv, and he can use my Amazon account for movies or stream like I do.

We have been friends for over 5 decades.

Good. Sounds like you have it covered.
Unless maybe, like me, you've been wanting to get a small smart TV for the kitchen or studio/office? This could be your impetus to get one.

Edited July 10 by shapeshifter

BetyBee · July 10

@Mindthinkr- you are a kind and thoughtful friend!

Quof · July 10

9 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

I really think he has Asperger’s.

People can be assholes without it being a medical condition.

Just as kids can be brats without it being a medical condition.

oliviabenson · July 10

10 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

This person is a retired professional photographer from NYC and has all of his available carry on allotment full of cameras, lenses etc. He doesn’t want to pay the airline $50 to take his laptop as well yes, he’s cheap and proud of it

My girlfriend offed to let me borrow her smart tv, and he can use my Amazon account for movies or stream like I do.

We have been friends for over 5 decades.
Y’all make me laugh because he has already started to let me know what he will and will not eat right down to “It needs to come from a Farmers market” to brands. I really think he has Asperger’s. He only has one other friend. I know he doesn’t understand many social clues, and seems like a narcissist to someone who doesn’t understand. However, if you want a picture or to know something about photography, he’s your man. I’m numb to all the camera talk. Too much all my life.

Thank you everyone for your suggestions. If he needs something I’ll suggest he buys a Fire tablet mentioned upthread. It will be his birthday while he’s here (10 days), but my plan was to take him out to dinner. No extra gifts from me.

He’s a pain in the ass. How is the guy with the smelly armpits? He was in the hospital too.

You have the same luck with friends as I do.

1 hour ago, BetyBee said:

@Mindthinkr- you are a kind and thoughtful friend!

She is! He is taking advantage of her kindness.

PRgal · July 10

FINALLY!! Google Translate has Cantonese! For a long time, it was only Mandarin. Cantonese is still largely the main dialect/language spoken in the ethnic Chinese community in Toronto, so it's great to have it - especially for people like me who can't read Chinese but can speak. Or for anyone at all who is, say, shopping or dining in a Toronto suburb like Markham.

https://translate.google.com/?sl=en&tl=yue&text=I don't understand&op=translate

BlueSkies · July 10

From a childhood friend I’ve always had a negative stigma about Boy Scouts. Before it was a word it sounded like there was a lot of hazing in his pack of other members. From what he’d tell me.

That and this time he was at church one day with his other pack members I guess to see if they could recruit members. He told me everyone else saw me and started making fun of me calling me a Mommy’s boy. But per him he stood up for me and shut them down.

I guess there’s the chance he was lying but yeah I never had a positive association with Boy Scouts. And I was a Cub Scout once too

Edited July 10 by BlueSkies

Dimity · July 10

We just found out that one of our favourite local restaurants has been permanently closed. I feel bad because even though I really liked this place I was hardly a strong supporter. It's been closed now for over a month and I just found out so that tells you something. In our small town we've had a revolving door of restaurants opening and closing in the last few years. Of course Covid didn't help but it can't just be that. I am guessing, much like my husband and I, people are being a lot more particular about their discretionary spending and eating out is taking a big hit.

Edited July 10 by Dimity

Mindthinkr · July 10

5 hours ago, oliviabenson said:

How is the guy with the smelly armpits?

I only talk to him once a week. I found it in my best interest to stay friendly neighbors, but that’s it. He was taking advantage of me.

shapeshifter · July 10

Tornado Alerts here in Western NY.

WTH? I assumed when I left Illinois there'd just be blizzards in my future.
That was January 2021.
No blizzards.

ginger90 · July 10

56 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

Tornado Alerts here in Western NY.

Here in PA too. Stay safe.

shapeshifter · July 10

54 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

1 hour ago, shapeshifter said:

Tornado Alerts here in Western NY.

Here in PA too. Stay safe.

My favorite local weather person just said there were 18 simultaneous Tornado Warnings in Western NY, and that was a lot more than ever before recorded.

I was scheduled for 3pm to go look at a very cute rental closer to my daughter and grandbabies, but when I saw the weather alerts early this morning, I texted the realtor: Something came up. Can we do it Friday?
She replied "Sure."
I didn't want to make it seem like I was having a melt down about the weather. I wonder if she was doing the same. 😉

My experience in a total of 30 years in IL was that if you're close to the lake, the tornado will not touch down because of the bluffs interrupting the storm's rotation.

Here I'm not familiar enough with patterns to guess.

Anela · July 10

StatisticalOutlier · July 11

Don't charge for it.

JustHereForFood · July 11

10 hours ago, PRgal said:

FINALLY!! Google Translate has Cantonese! For a long time, it was only Mandarin. Cantonese is still largely the main dialect/language spoken in the ethnic Chinese community in Toronto, so it's great to have it - especially for people like me who can't read Chinese but can speak. Or for anyone at all who is, say, shopping or dining in a Toronto suburb like Markham.

https://translate.google.com/?sl=en&tl=yue&text=I don't understand&op=translate

I am happy for you, but I'm also afraid that Google Translate turned to shit recently, like the rest of Google. It is giving me some questionable results sometimes.

oliviabenson · July 11

5 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

I only talk to him once a week. I found it in my best interest to stay friendly neighbors, but that’s it. He was taking advantage of me.

I’m sorry he isn’t good to you as a friend!

bluegirl147 · July 11

20 hours ago, Dimity said:

much like my husband and I, people are being a lot more particular about their discretionary spending and eating out is taking a big hit.

I have been disappointed eating out for the last couple years. It's not just the prices but the quality has went way down. I don't know if it's restaurants buying lower quality ingredients or if they are short staffed and that affects the food being prepared. I won't even get pizza anymore. I would rather cook my own food. Just yesterday one of the few non chain or fast food restaurant within 10 miles of my house has decided to do away with restaurant seating and become bar only with catering events. And now a very limited menu. Needless to say people are not happy about this. Before the pandemic it was a nice place to go. Right on the river where boats could dock. Family friendly. Food was decent. I'm assuming they were having staffing issues and just decided to make do with what they have. I will be surprised if they are still in business next year. So now there are only two sit down restaurants in my town.

Ohiopirate02 · July 11

28 minutes ago, bluegirl147 said:

I have been disappointed eating out for the last couple years. It's not just the prices but the quality has went way down. I don't know if it's restaurants buying lower quality ingredients or if they are short staffed and that affects the food being prepared. I won't even get pizza anymore. I would rather cook my own food. Just yesterday one of the few non chain or fast food restaurant within 10 miles of my house has decided to do away with restaurant seating and become bar only with catering events. And now a very limited menu. Needless to say people are not happy about this. Before the pandemic it was a nice place to go. Right on the river where boats could dock. Family friendly. Food was decent. I'm assuming they were having staffing issues and just decided to make do with what they have. I will be surprised if they are still in business next year. So now there are only two sit down restaurants in my town.

I am honestly not surprised to see local restaurants struggling right now. Their profit margins were razor thin 5 years ago, and they are also getting hit with the same price increases we get. Those higher prices in the grocery store we all complain about carry over into the food distributers most local restaurants use. And, commercial rents have also gone up maybe not as severe as residential rents but they have increased. Places limiting their menus is a side effect of the increased costs restaurants are facing. It's either that or raise prices on every dish.

Dimity · July 11

12 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

Places limiting their menus is a side effect of the increased costs restaurants are facing. It's either that or raise prices on every dish.

It's also not helping that people are getting tip fatigue. I don't know about the US but here servers now must be paid minimum wage (which has gone up in the last few years) which is something I completely support BTW. But what's also been happening is the expectation of the size of the tip has risen - where 15% to 20% was the norm now we're being presented with card machines with automatic options in some places as high as 40%. So we're paying more for lesser quality food while at the same time being expected to tip more.

Absolom · July 11

Yes, just yesterday the local paper warned of a bar with a 100 per cent tip option in hopes people will be too drunk to figure it out. Expecting ridiculous tips is an easy option to go out of business. I doubt that's their plan, but lots of places aren't doing strategic thinking.

Ohiopirate02 · July 11

7 minutes ago, Dimity said:

It's also not helping that people are getting tip fatigue. I don't know about the US but here servers now must be paid minimum wage (which has gone up in the last few years) which is something I completely support BTW. But what's also been happening is the expectation of the size of the tip has risen - where 15% to 20% was the norm now we're being presented with card machines with automatic options in some places as high as 40%. So we're paying more for lesser quality food while at the same time being expected to tip more.

I have heard about this, but have yet to see it at any local restaurant. I rarely use those automatic tip calculators because I don't like tipping odd amounts and I don't take into account taxes and fees when tipping. My tips are the closest whole dollar amount to 20% of the cost of my food and drink. Most of the time my tip exceeds the 20% suggestion, and the employee does not end up with a random $0.32. Nobody wants a bunch of coins at the end of their shift.

Dimity · July 11

That said this is definitely not the case when the average tab when we go out has crept up well past the $50 mark and in most cases in a nicer sit down type place is closer to, if not over, $100. For two people. Sigh. I love to eat out but not at these prices. It's become a special occasions only luxury for us now.

Edited July 11 by Dimity
my post got totally messed up when I tried to edit! Sigh....

Dimity · July 11

21 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I have heard about this, but have yet to see it at any local restaurant.

I'd love to see a study done on whether having higher suggested tip amounts actually results in people hitting 40% or even 30%. In my informal survey of "most people I know" this has definitely not happened. People who used to tip an automatic 15% may have nudged that up to 18 or 20 (but mainly because those are the smallest options on a lot of card machines now) but I don't know of anyone who is going "Oh 40%? Well sure...."

Yeah No · July 11

Hi everyone, I've been back from my cruise for a few days now and finally getting around to posting here about it. I just wanted to report that in every way it was an amazing and wonderful experience and I'm very glad I did it. I did not feel sick even ONCE thanks to my scopolamine patch, ginger capsules and that little watch-like thing I bought on Amazon that buzzes your wrist with little electrical impulses. Between all three of those things I was absolutely fine, and for someone like me that gets sick just from looking down in the car, that felt truly miraculous. I just couldn't get over it! I kept thinking of @Bastet because I know she too has bad motion sickness. If I can do this I think anyone can. There were times we were going through a storm with 46 mph. winds and I felt the boat rocking back and forth but it didn't bother me at all. Now granted, the QM2 has excellent stabilizers, but it was still amazing nonetheless because there were times I had to brace myself during that storm not to lose my balance!

Anyway, the cruise itself was just magical. There was not one person I met and talked to for even a few minutes that I didn't really like and wish I knew. Everyone was interesting and worth knowing. This is not a ship that attracts boisterous extraverts or people that don't appreciate history and tradition so I suppose that's one reason why. Most people were over 50 although there were some families with kids. It doesn't get a lot of kids or partiers at all, though. So I suppose the old saying "water seeks its own level" really applied here!

Nova Scotia was everything I'd ever imagined it to be, and considering that when I was a kid I had a color travel guide to it that fascinated me with the place, that was also quite satisfying. I remember the book had a lone piper in full regalia on the cover, standing on a stark grass hill. I never knew what that was all about until I took a tour bus to the Citadel, which is where we saw the daily gun salute at noon. You have to drive up this huge grass hill to get to it. Suddenly it all made sense, 55 years later!

So many funny things happened - like as soon as we docked in Halifax and walked off the ship I said, "What, no pipe band to greet us?" As if on cue, a van suddenly pulled up and a pipe band jumped out and started playing for us, LOL. I couldn't get over the warm welcome we got from everyone. Then I learned that Samuel Cunard was from Halifax and of course the QM2 is a Cunard ship. So she always gets a warm welcome from locals. Cunard's statue is prominent in the harbor as is JK Rowling's huge yacht, LOL. We also visited the Maritime Museum which had a Titanic exhibit, but what was even more moving were the large models of various ships, including the Mauretania, which is the ship my husband's father came to the U.S. on in 1951 from Ireland. We also took the tour of the Titanic graveyard, which was very moving thanks to our fantastic tour guide. Also interesting was finding out that Cunard bought out the White Star Line which owned the Titanic. So at every turn it was like a "full circle" experience.

What we weren't told in any of our cruise information is that we got there on Canada Day, which was significant because later in the trip we docked in Boston for July 4th, which is also lots of fun and very special. We've been to Boston many times, but not on July 4th and it was definitely worth doing.

Also fun was finding out from my local girlfriend that a friend of her cousin's was going to be on the cruise and wanted to meet us. So we looked him up and again it was like meeting an old friend - he was 88 years "young" and an old-time New Yorker, so we had a ton in common, especially because he was interested in church organ music and my husband is an organist who knows a lot about NYC churches and organs. And his parents were married in the very church my parents and we were married in, so there was a lot to talk about. He was in a very high class suite, which was beautiful and made me jealous, LOL. We had a lovely room with a balcony but wow, those suites are phenomenal and they get a better class of food too in a separate dining hall. Our food was very good, though.

The ship was absolutely beautiful especially after being overhauled and renovated last Fall, so that was nice. It spoke to me on many levels, both historically and esthetically, and we both had lots of fun visiting every nook and cranny of it while on sea days, including the "secret glass elevators" and all that interesting stuff we learned about on YouTube videos from the cruise fanatics. It was classic and old fashioned in just about the best of ways, which we loved. Also fascinating was being docked right next to a container ship in Boston and being entertained by that activity as well as a Princess cruise ship backing out right next to us. We were like kids waving from our balcony, LOL. The views of lower Manhattan, South Ferry and NY Harbor were also spectacular and we got many great photos and videos of all sorts of things like cute little tug boats, ferries, barges, Tiki Bar boats, and even the Hot Tub Boat, LOL. You can't make this stuff up, LOL.

It definitely took me back to my childhood sitting in bed with my binoculars looking down at the Harlem River and the opposite end of Manhattan in the North!

Anyway, that's a brief synopsis of the trip. It's good to be back, although I have to say that this was one of the more exciting experiences I've had in my life and I've not exactly kept myself under a rock, either!

ETA:

Oh, I almost forgot, I wanted to mention how we as Anglophiles appreciated the decidedly British dining choices. I'm a tea drinker so I was in my element with a full pot of already brewed tea at every meal. We had kippers and streaky bacon at breakfast and baked beans and baked potatoes served together at the buffet at lunch. And GREAT fish and chips at the pubs!

Also fun was the professional ballroom dancing show with a live band, which was followed by an open floor for all couples to dance, which was amazing for me as someone who's watched 20 years of "Dancing with the Stars". I was LOL at some of the cute couples that could really cut a rug! Some of these people we had talked to previously and would never have known they could dance so well! It was so much fun just to watch!

Anyway, I just had to add that. 😉

Edited July 11 by Yeah No

Ohiopirate02 · July 11

54 minutes ago, Dimity said:

That said this is definitely not the case when the average tab when we go out has crept up well past the $50 mark and in most cases in a nicer sit down type place is closer to, if not over, $100. For two people. Sigh. I love to eat out but not at these prices. It's become a special occasions only luxury for us now.

I have dinner out based on the specials my local places run. I've been going out almost every Wednesday night lately to my local pizzeria that does a $14 pizza of the week and 1/2 price wine. It's less than $30 for a pie and a bottle of wine which I split with my mom and still have leftovers. Sometimes we thrown in an appetizer or some banana pudding for dessert.

bluegirl147 · July 11

1 hour ago, Dimity said:

That said this is definitely not the case when the average tab when we go out has crept up well past the $50 mark and in most cases in a nicer sit down type place is closer to, if not over, $100. For two people. Sigh. I love to eat out but not at these prices. It's become a special occasions only luxury for us now.

Today is my son and daughter in law's anniversary and my mother said to me we should take them out to celebrate. That would be dinner for four adults and three kids. Two are babies but they do eat food. So that bill would easily be over $150. I told my mother no.

I had a FB friend post if she is standing up to order she isn't tipping. When I get pizza at the restaurant for carry out I do not tip. If I had it delivered I would tip.

I always tip the woman who cuts my hair. I always tip the woman who does my massages. But I have now seen where other service industries are wanting tipped. Like mechanics. I don't how much mechanics make but I see what I am charged for labor so no I'm not tipping.

Dimity · July 11

7 minutes ago, bluegirl147 said:

But I have now seen where other service industries are wanting tipped. Like mechanics. I don't how much mechanics make but I see what I am charged for labor so no I'm not tipping.

I've been reading articles talking about this but so far I haven't come across it. It doesn't surprise me though and it's just not happening for me that's for sure!

I remember a number of years ago when I first started noticing karma jars and the like in places like Starbucks and thinking that was a bit cheeky but arguably aligned to a restaurant experience so ok. But now, apparently, there are tip jars in convenience stores and various other retail places...wow.

I have a FB friend who absolutely refuses to tip. Ever. Under any circumstances. I often wonder if they go to the same restaurant twice.

bluegirl147 · July 11

15 minutes ago, Dimity said:

I have a FB friend who absolutely refuses to tip.

In restaurants I always tip because usually if something isn't right it's not the server's fault. However a couple months ago I was out at a restaurant and we were seated quickly. Restaurant was not busy. Took the server forever to take our order. Then took forever to get our food. She did not come and update us or say how sorry she was it was taking so long. After a half hour I stopped her as she was walking by and said if our food wasn't coming soon just cancel it. She said no it will be right out. It was still another 15 minutes for it to be on our table. She did not get a tip. On my way out I told a couple waiting it wasn't worth their time to wait.

Another thing I see happening now is Door Dash orders are taking precedence. Last year while waiting for a table along with quite a few other people and seeing that the dining room had lots of empty tables I wondered what the hold up was and then I saw Door Dash drivers coming in. They were walking up to the hostess stand and getting their orders in a matter of a few minutes. While the rest of us stood there for a lot longer than that waiting to be seated.

BTW the orders the drivers were picking up looked to be very small. So that restaurant was filling orders for what looked like one person and they had multiple families and couples waiting to buy food. Didn't make sense to me.

Edited July 11 by bluegirl147

Dimity · July 11

5 minutes ago, bluegirl147 said:

Last year while waiting for a table along with quite a few other people and seeing that the dining room had lots of empty tables I wondered what the hold up was and then I saw Door Dash drivers coming in. They were walking up to the hostess stand and getting their orders in a matter of a few minutes. While the rest of us stood there for a lot longer than that waiting to be seated.

What I notice a lot is that if you are in a fast food place the drive thru orders take precedence. We do drive thru and are in and out in a matter of minutes, we actually go inside and queue up at the counter and we can wait and wait and then wait some more until someone even comes to get our order let alone fill it. I'm not sure what the logic is - I do understand wanting to keep the drive thru moving, but at the expense of customers who are also paying but happen to be inside?

PRgal · July 11

2 hours ago, Dimity said:

It's also not helping that people are getting tip fatigue. I don't know about the US but here servers now must be paid minimum wage (which has gone up in the last few years) which is something I completely support BTW. But what's also been happening is the expectation of the size of the tip has risen - where 15% to 20% was the norm now we're being presented with card machines with automatic options in some places as high as 40%. So we're paying more for lesser quality food while at the same time being expected to tip more.

These days, we basically only go to/order from a select number of restaurants which tend to be at least halfway decent. We don't go to national/international chains all that much (this is true. My son does not crave McDonald's) either. My family has membership at a few private clubs and they all have food/beverage minimums. Some of the menus are good, but others tend to cater to an older crowd. There are Gen X and Millennial members, and thus, GenZ and Gen Alpha children, but somehow, management hasn't really bothered to update to cater to us. Okay, this is mostly in the formal dining areas where children under a certain age are restricted after a certain time of day, but still. It's kind of a turn off for us. If they want members to spend a certain amount every quarter, then maybe start catering to us?

Yeah No · July 11

3 hours ago, Dimity said:

It's also not helping that people are getting tip fatigue. I don't know about the US but here servers now must be paid minimum wage (which has gone up in the last few years) which is something I completely support BTW. But what's also been happening is the expectation of the size of the tip has risen - where 15% to 20% was the norm now we're being presented with card machines with automatic options in some places as high as 40%. So we're paying more for lesser quality food while at the same time being expected to tip more.

The reason as I see it for more attention being paid to tipping is that a shocking number of Millennials and younger are stingy tippers or don't tip at all, and this is backed up by research. That's why the pressure to tip has been exaggerated to insane degrees and percentages. Of course no one in our society can do anything within reason anymore. It all has to get out of control and ridiculous. And of course I think it will only backfire anyway.

And of course all of this is happening on top of many states increasing the wages of restaurant servers to minimum wage, including my own. I don't really know if they were being underpaid to begin with, as I always understood that tips made up for the low base salary to a large degree. I've known servers who made a LOT of money under the old arrangement, so even then it could be very lucrative depending on where you worked and how much of your tips you got to keep. But if they were getting fewer tips from younger generations that might have been what started the public push to give them higher base salaries. But putting on pressure to tip at higher percentages AND raising their base salaries together might be too much to ask of both restaurants and customers, especially with inflation driving up food prices. It's a bad combination and why a lot of restaurants aren't doing so well. We are losing them in my area too. Again, everything is overkill in this society anymore. Don't get me started....

BTW, my husband and I don't eat out that much anymore either for all the same reasons as given above. It's too expensive anymore.

Ohiopirate02 · July 11

9 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

The reason as I see it for more attention being paid to tipping is that a shocking number of Millennials and younger are stingy tippers or don't tip at all, and this is backed up by research. That's why the pressure to tip has been exaggerated to insane degrees and percentages. Of course no one in our society can do anything within reason anymore. It all has to get out of control and ridiculous. And of course I think it will only backfire anyway.

I was about to ask you to cite your sources here, but then I remembered the one time I went out drinking with my Millennial sister and her friends. They thought nothing of doing separate checks at every establishment on a bar crawl. They were so worried about potentially spending any amount of money on one of their friends that I can only imagine them being bad tippers. It's actually funny to watch her depending on who else she is out with after she married a Gen-Xer. She's a lot more generous when she's out with her husband and the other Gen X parents from her kids' school. When she comes back to visit her high school friends, it's separate checks for every little thing.

EtheltoTillie · July 11

On 7/9/2024 at 10:59 PM, Mindthinkr said:

This person is a retired professional photographer from NYC and has all of his available carry on allotment full of cameras, lenses etc. He doesn’t want to pay the airline $50 to take his laptop as well yes, he’s cheap and proud of it

My girlfriend offed to let me borrow her smart tv, and he can use my Amazon account for movies or stream like I do.

We have been friends for over 5 decades.
Y’all make me laugh because he has already started to let me know what he will and will not eat right down to “It needs to come from a Farmers market” to brands. I really think he has Asperger’s. He only has one other friend. I know he doesn’t understand many social clues, and seems like a narcissist to someone who doesn’t understand. However, if you want a picture or to know something about photography, he’s your man. I’m numb to all the camera talk. Too much all my life.

Thank you everyone for your suggestions. If he needs something I’ll suggest he buys a Fire tablet mentioned upthread. It will be his birthday while he’s here (10 days), but my plan was to take him out to dinner. No extra gifts from me.

I love people who are cheap but want you to pay for them! This is chutzpah plus!

EtheltoTillie · July 11

On 7/10/2024 at 3:03 PM, shapeshifter said:

Tornado Alerts here in Western NY.

WTH? I assumed when I left Illinois there'd just be blizzards in my future.
That was January 2021.
No blizzards.

My colleagues were dealing with this in Montreal too. They went for a meeting.

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