Chit-Chat: What's On Your Mind Today?

[Anela]

Dad is home again today, they all will be.  The truck company that brings packages to them, couldn’t find any drivers last night, because of the weather.  Dad might be working on Monday, when I was planning to get a bit more food in, because it’s supposed to be 30 degrees.  Sooo, I might have to go out this afternoon.  

Edited January 11 by Anela

[Bastet]

9 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

This will likely have severe financial impacts on the lives of all of those who do gig work to support the TV and Movie industry.

Yes, despite a lot of production moving elsewhere, this is still a company town -- a lot of people's livelihoods are tied to the entertainment industry.  But it's the whole city, not just one industry; we're looking at potentially $150 billion in losses and a ten year recovery.

[Absolom]

A lot of people in the Eaton and Palisades fires work "in the industry."  Two of the families burned out that we know have a screen writer in the family and one of those also has an actress.  Another, they both act.   Then there is the family where Dad and one of the older kids are stunt doubles.  They can't really work right now so a temporary shut down on production may be the only way to go.  It's so unfortunate it comes with economic impact.

[Lisa418722]

Starting with the COVID shutdown in 2020, then the SAG strike, and now this, no matter what you think about Hollywood, this will affect a lot of behind-the-scenes people who were beginning to get back on their feet.  

Yes, I know a lot of productions take place in other states or countries.  

Edited January 12 by Lisa418722

[Anela]

6 hours ago, Lisa418722 said:

Starting with the COVID shutdown in 2020, then the SAG strike, and now this, no matter what you think about Hollywood, this will affect a lot of behind-the-scenes people who were beginning to get back on their feet.  

Yes, I know a lot of productions take place in other states or countries.  

I follow an actress who said she was stressing about work at the beginning of last year, because they were still coming out of the strikes, and for another reason I can't recall. But then her work picked up. 

Then you have the crews. A friend of mine works in set design. She's safe, she lives in Burbank, but this definitely affects her work. I also used to know a producer, and I'm wondering how she's doing. 

[Absolom]

We know a producer who lost her contract with the strike as the show was cancelled when without the strike it probably had another year or two to go.  They were getting by on her husband's income writing while she furiously tried to lock down another job.  And now 6 months later they lost their house and everything in it.  

Another family saved as much as they could and left for her parents' out of state when they learned the house had burned along with the kids' school.  They'll consider moving back here after the school is rebuilt or by then they'll be settled elsewhere.  They both work regular jobs that they can get almost anywhere.  I think he's a CPA and she's a nurse-midwife.

[Dimity]

I have an etiquette question I'm curious about and wonder if anyone has ever heard this before.  I was reading one of those AITA things someone shared on FB and in it they stated that it is proper etiquette when dining out with someone who is paying the tab that you never order anything more expensive than your host is ordering.  

I can see that it would be rude to order the most costly items on the menu and add on drinks, dessert etc especially if your host is having a side salad and a glass of water but that's not what they meant.  According to this person proper etiquette means you don't order until your host does and you never order anything that costs more than they did, not even by a dollar or two.

I've never heard this supposed etiquette rule before.  I think people just make crap up but maybe I'm wrong and Miss Manners has a whole chapter on this!

Edited Wednesday at 09:35 PM by Dimity

[shapeshifter]

16 minutes ago, Dimity said:

I have an etiquette question I'm curious about and wonder if anyone has ever heard this before.  I was reading one of those AITA things someone shared on FB and in it they stated that it is proper etiquette when dining out with someone who is paying the tab that you never order anything more expensive than your host is ordering.  

I can see that it would be rude to order the most costly items on the menu and add on drinks, dessert etc especially if your host is having a side salad and a glass of water but that's not what they meant.  According to this person proper etiquette means you don't order until your host does and you never order anything that costs more than they did, not even by a dollar or two.

I've never heard this supposed etiquette rule before.  I think people just make crap up but maybe I'm wrong and Miss Manners has a whole chapter on this!

I almost never eat out, but Mom was really into it, so I think through osmosis I know that sounds about right. 

There was an extremely wealthy woman/friend who was first a student at the college where I was a librarian and then eventually an adjunct faculty member.  She was a lovely, intelligent person who regularly hired people to do things for her. 
Since it would be against all regulations and protocols for her to pay me for what I was already being paid by the college to do, she would treat me to lunches at fancy places in exchange for my doing extra formatting etc. for her. 
I'm sure I never ordered anything more expensive than she did, but I can't say exactly why. It just seemed appropriate.

[Ohiopirate02]

34 minutes ago, Dimity said:

I have an etiquette question I'm curious about and wonder if anyone has ever heard this before.  I was reading one of those AITA things someone shared on FB and in it they stated that it is proper etiquette when dining out with someone who is paying the tab that you never order anything more expensive than your host is ordering.  

I can see that it would be rude to order the most costly items on the menu and add on drinks, dessert etc especially if your host is having a side salad and a glass of water but that's not what they meant.  According to this person proper etiquette means you don't order until your host does and you never order anything that costs more than they did, not even by a dollar or two.

I've never heard this supposed etiquette rule before.  I think people just make crap up but maybe I'm wrong and Miss Manners has a whole chapter on this!

I have not done the research to see if this is in some etiquette book, but I do understand the intent behind it and do follow it. Ideally the person footing the bill takes charge at the table and lets you know their order well before the server shows up. They should be the one who sets the tone for the meal by ordering the appetizers and bottle of wine and leading the conversation as to which entrees they are willing to pay for. Something like "I heard this place does a great rib eye" "or the last time I was here the salmon was delicious" or even "I am craving the chicken, but don't let that stop you from ordering the lobster." Because sometimes you want to treat your guest but you really do want the least expensive entree on the menu.

I also follow the rule when dining out on another person's dime I will not order anything I cannot afford if the checks were separate. 

[PRgal]

I would certainly not order steak if the other person is having pasta.  I typically get something that is more or less mid-range on the menu.  I don't think going over by $1 or $2 is incorrect, however.  Especially if you need modifications (e.g. you eat GF, so you're getting the GF option...not that they really should be charging extra for gluten-free!)

[SweetieDarling]

56 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

I'm sure I never ordered anything more expensive than she did, but I can't say exactly why. It just seemed appropriate.

I think it sends the message that you are not taking advantage of the situation or the other person in a kind of unspoken appreciation -jmo

 

 

[meep.meep]

1 hour ago, Dimity said:

I have an etiquette question I'm curious about and wonder if anyone has ever heard this before.  I was reading one of those AITA things someone shared on FB and in it they stated that it is proper etiquette when dining out with someone who is paying the tab that you never order anything more expensive than your host is ordering.  

 

It's not a "rule" but it's something to keep in mind.  The host is supposed to indicate by his/her choice how much they are willing to pony up.

Back in the '70s when you went to a really expensive or exclusive place to dine, the menus given to women or guests wouldn't include prices at all.  Your host was just assumed to be willing to pay whatever it would amount to.  As a guest, there was an unwritten assumption that you would not exceed the cost of the host's meal.  You had to hope you were right.

Thank god that died out.

[Dimity]

2 minutes ago, meep.meep said:

As a guest, there was an unwritten assumption that you would not exceed the cost of the host's meal.  You had to hope you were right.

That sounds exhausting!  I guess at the end of the day this unwritten rule is just like most rules of etiquette.  Common courtesy.  I do think if you are being treated to a meal that doesn't mean "Nellie bar the door and bring on the lobster" but on the other hand I don't think it should mean worrying about whether your meal choice cost $2 more than your host's meal does!

[Anela]

We're two weeks into the new year, and I need to get myself sorted. I'm making lists, and I need to clean out the cupboard of doom in the kitchen. 

[Bastet]

2 hours ago, Dimity said:

Common courtesy.  I do think if you are being treated to a meal that doesn't mean "Nellie bar the door and bring on the lobster" but on the other hand I don't think it should mean worrying about whether your meal choice cost $2 more than your host's meal does!

Same here.

I found the AITA thread and this was a notorious cheapskate - who has plenty of money, partly thanks to his frugality - throwing a fit because his granddaughter ordered chicken fried steak in a diner when he took his daughter and granddaughter, visiting for the weekend, out to breakfast.  The daughter estimates it was $5-7 more than his order, because he only got eggs and toast. 

He hates going out to eat because he's extremely frugal, but breakfast was his idea.  He'd consider it a slight if the daughter paid, didn't say anything in advance of ordering or when the granddaughter placed her order, just decided to throw a fit the next day - while his daughter was cleaning for him - about manners. 

[Dimity]

1 hour ago, Bastet said:

He hates going out to eat because he's extremely frugal, but breakfast was his idea.  He'd consider it a slight if the daughter paid, didn't say anything in advance of ordering or when the granddaughter placed her order, just decided to throw a fit the next day - while his daughter was cleaning for him - about manners. 

And this is what I hate about these stories!  Not that they may well be fake (I am betting a lot of them are) it's that we never find out 'the rest of the story'. 

[EtheltoTillie]

4 hours ago, Dimity said:

That sounds exhausting!  I guess at the end of the day this unwritten rule is just like most rules of etiquette.  Common courtesy.  I do think if you are being treated to a meal that doesn't mean "Nellie bar the door and bring on the lobster" but on the other hand I don't think it should mean worrying about whether your meal choice cost $2 more than your host's meal does!

This is an unwritten rule, and it's just a common sense politeness thing.  It looks bad to take advantage of generosity, but it doesn't mean you have to take out a calculator.  We have a friend who is a notorious schnorrer (Yiddish for beggar, but the real meaning is cheapskate freeloader).  He takes food home from shivah calls!  Our other friends held their small wedding party at the Palm steak house a couple of years ago.  You could order anything on the menu, but only one person ordered the surf and turf -- you guessed it, schnorrer.  I had predicted he would do exactly this, and I was right! 

As for the AITA story (I looked it up too), that involved only a small difference in price, and the grandfather was a such a nasty cheapskate he was not being generous--he would have restricted everyone to his tiny breakfast.

Edited Thursday at 04:37 AM by EtheltoTillie

[EtheltoTillie]

Another story about schnorrer.  He was invited for a weekend at the bridal couple's beach house, so he brought a few stale bagels and some already opened cream cheese.  You all wonder why we associate with this guy at all -- but he's a professional acquaintance.  He's obviously always good for a laugh. 

Edited Thursday at 04:37 AM by EtheltoTillie

[Mindthinkr]

One of my friends offered to take a small group of us out to dinner. I asked and made sure this person knew that L would order the most expensive thing on the menu. She was notorious for getting all she could out of someone. Sure enough when it came to the dinner that’s exactly what she did. She ordered an expensive martini, mussels as an appetizer, the steak, dessert as well as an after dinner drink (cognac). I know better than to offer to pay for her or I don’t tell her until the end of the meal after she has chosen what she felt she was willing to pay for. I’d go broke otherwise. 

[PRgal]

15 hours ago, meep.meep said:

It's not a "rule" but it's something to keep in mind.  The host is supposed to indicate by his/her choice how much they are willing to pony up.

Back in the '70s when you went to a really expensive or exclusive place to dine, the menus given to women or guests wouldn't include prices at all.  Your host was just assumed to be willing to pay whatever it would amount to.  As a guest, there was an unwritten assumption that you would not exceed the cost of the host's meal.  You had to hope you were right.

Thank god that died out.

In some cultures, the person doing the inviting is still expected to pay.  At least it is to my understanding.  Especially among close friends and family. 

[Absolom]

I remember those unpriced menus.  I learned to ask for one with the prices.  It was as simple as open it, see no prices, hand it back to the server with a mild look, and they'd give me one from the bottom of the stack that had prices.  I did it even after getting married because I was a grown up person who wanted to know and didn't need to be treated like a child.

[Dimity]

Okay, as if 2025 wasn't already promising to be a sucky, sucky year now this:

I may need a moment.

[Yeah No]

On 1/15/2025 at 4:34 PM, Dimity said:

I have an etiquette question I'm curious about and wonder if anyone has ever heard this before.  I was reading one of those AITA things someone shared on FB and in it they stated that it is proper etiquette when dining out with someone who is paying the tab that you never order anything more expensive than your host is ordering.  

I can see that it would be rude to order the most costly items on the menu and add on drinks, dessert etc especially if your host is having a side salad and a glass of water but that's not what they meant.  According to this person proper etiquette means you don't order until your host does and you never order anything that costs more than they did, not even by a dollar or two.

I've never heard this supposed etiquette rule before.  I think people just make crap up but maybe I'm wrong and Miss Manners has a whole chapter on this!

I brought this up to my husband, who is the Ms. Manners in the family and he and I both agree that this is a "general rule" kind of thing and it does depend on the situation. If the person inviting you out is your mega-millionaire client who as part of his way of thanking you for your service takes you to his golf club in Sarasota where the cheapest entree on the menu is $50, have at it. I was in that situation last year when invited by this client and his wife to come visit and stay at their mansion in Sarasota. They insisted on paying for EVERYTHING and told us not to worry about price. I still didn't feel comfortable ordering the most expensive thing on the menu, though. If I feel that way I usually order something average priced.

There was one time on that trip I wanted to order this huge African lobster tail that cost over $50. I saw it being served to someone at the table next to us and the client saw how much I wanted it and told me not to hesitate to order it. So I got it and I will remember that lobster tail for the rest of my life! But would you believe I still feel guilty for ordering it? But if I didn't get it after all that I am sure the client actually would have been disappointed!

They just went back to Florida for the Winter and took us out to dinner before they left. I really wanted to order the $45 special but when I saw them order the $30 entree I did the same. Of course my husband offered to pay for the entire meal as is his custom, but they insisted on paying and he didn't get into a match with them over it. 

Anyway if a friend treats me I usually default to ordering an average priced entree no matter what they order. One of my friends eats like a bird. She'll order soup and a side salad, so there's no way I'd be able to go lower than that. And I know she doesn't expect it, either.

[shapeshifter]

It's been close to record-breaking cold here, my condo is too big for me and too drafty, the heating system is poorly designed and over 20 years old (the poorly designed venting is from 1973), and I'm retired so I'm home most of the time, otherwise this would be half as high:

Quote

January bill for Rochester Gas and Electric

Total: $244.93, due Feb 9

 

Edited Saturday at 12:02 PM by shapeshifter

[ABay]

Yikes! Do they have balanced billing?

 

[Browncoat]

24 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

It's been close to record-breaking cold here, my condo is too big for me and too drafty, the heating system is poorly designed and over 20 years old (the poorly designed venting is from 1973), and I'm retired so I'm home most of the time, otherwise this would be half as high:

 

The electric company here has a budget plan, where you pay the same every month except one, when you catch up.  They look at your last 12 months and average what you've paid -- sometimes I owe less during my catch-up month, sometimes a little more.  But it has been tremendously helpful to me, especially when it's so very cold.  We're above freezing today and tomorrow, but won't be again for at least a week.  Does your power company have something like that?

It was nice this morning to wake up to temps in the mid-30sF.  I'm still hoping for some more melting of the ice from two weeks ago before this next round of cold swoops in.

[Yeah No]

3 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

It's been close to record-breaking cold here, my condo is too big for me and too drafty, the heating system is poorly designed and over 20 years old (the poorly designed venting is from 1973), and I'm retired so I'm home most of the time, otherwise this would be half as high:

 

3 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

  Quote

January bill for Rochester Gas and Electric

Total: $244.93, due Feb 9

What kind of heating do you have? Is your bill higher in the Summer with air conditioning?

In CT we have the highest electric bills in the country next to Hawaii, and they keep going up. Don't get me started. We are sick and tired of this here.

My husband and I have level billing which is the same as balanced billing. You pay an average of what your annual bill was the year before split over 12 months. For a 1475 foot ranch with 7.5 foot high ceilings our monthly level/average bill is $275. It actually was over $300 a month for a while until we got a new furnace a few years ago and that made the difference. We have also lowered the thermostat temperature in the Winter and raised it in the Summer.

Every month on our bill they give us a usage comparison with the year before. I find it interesting that for two years straight now the bill is telling us our usage has gone down between 10 and 15% from the same month a year before. We can't account for at least the last year of it. The average temperature outside that they're giving us per month is pretty much the same as the year before and we changed the temperature in here over a year ago. So it's a mystery, but at least it's one in our favor.

[Dimity]

Discussion in the Feels thread about Tradwives made me think of a talk show I saw recently where some 20 somethings were jealous that their grandparents didn't have to go out to work and could "sit around the house all day" doing whatever they wanted. 

No one pushed back on this and as usual I end up thinking up all sorts of things I would like to have said to these people.  The biggest one being if you are VERY LUCKY you get to live to see retirement age and also have enough savings plus a decent pension - that you EARNED while you worked for 40 years - so that you can live comfortably.

The entitlement of it the 'we deserve to retire after working all of 5 years' - wow. -

[shapeshifter]

8 hours ago, ABay said:

Yikes! Do they have balanced billing?

8 hours ago, Browncoat said:

The electric company here has a budget plan, where you pay the same every month except one, when you catch up.  They look at your last 12 months and average what you've paid -- sometimes I owe less during my catch-up month, sometimes a little more.  But it has been tremendously helpful to me, especially when it's so very cold.  We're above freezing today and tomorrow, but won't be again for at least a week.  Does your power company have something like that?

It was nice this morning to wake up to temps in the mid-30sF.  I'm still hoping for some more melting of the ice from two weeks ago before this next round of cold swoops in.

Yes, and yes. But I prefer to see the cost as I go. It doesn't save anything in the long run. 

 

5 hours ago, Yeah No said:

What kind of heating do you have? 

Gas. Forced Air that blows hottest into rooms I don't use, even when I close the vents. I have wall-to-wall carpet so using an economical space heater where I sleep is not wise. Unless there's some modern device I don't know about? 
And isn’t “economical space heater” still an oxymoron?

5 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Is your bill higher in the Summer with air conditioning?

No. It's pretty low in the summer, mostly because I don't need to turn on the AC until it gets to 80ºF indoors. I'm only living in this cold climate to be near my grandkids.
Actually I’ve lived in cold climates all but 4 years of my life, from 2003-2021 I rented small apartments that didn’t require much heat, and they had old fashioned hot water radiators.

 

5 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Every month on our bill they give us a usage comparison with the year before. I find it interesting that for two years straight now the bill is telling us our usage has gone down between 10 and 15% from the same month a year before.

The last couple of times I looked at the usage comparison, I saw my usage had gone down, but my bill had gone up. So I don't look anymore.

The reason it is so high right now is because it's been so cold, so the comparison would definitely show more usage the last couple of months.

 

8 hours ago, Browncoat said:

It was nice this morning to wake up to temps in the mid-30sF.  I'm still hoping for some more melting of the ice from two weeks ago before this next round of cold swoops in.

Yes. Same. I stopped by the lake for a few minutes on my way to the Lambchops’ birthday party.
They turned 1 and 3 this week.🥳🥳 

Edited Saturday at 09:10 PM by shapeshifter

[Browncoat]

1 hour ago, shapeshifter said:

Yes, and yes. But I prefer to see the cost as I go. It doesn't save anything in the long run. 

It doesn't save money, but it makes it easier to budget -- you won't be surprised by extra high bills in the winter.  If I know my electric bill is going to be, for example, $100/month every month except one*, then I don't worry about not being able to pay the higher bills in the winter.  I still look at the bills to see my usage on any given month (and compare to the same month last year), and I know it'll even out in the end.

*And even that one month isn't too far off the average.

[Yeah No]

8 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

Gas. Forced Air that blows hottest into rooms I don't use, even when I close the vents. I have wall-to-wall carpet so using an economical space heater where I sleep is not wise. Unless there's some modern device I don't know about? 
And isn’t “economical space heater” still an oxymoron?

Yeah, I guess it is! Although the "newfangled" ones like mine have an economy function or a "green" function that's supposed to conserve energy. I don't know if it really works, though.

If you have your own furnace maybe the furnace is a cause of higher bills and it needs a service or something. And I JUST saw a report on my local TV news saying that closing the vents in unused rooms can actually raise electric bills because it forces the unit to work harder for some reason. Don't quote me, but that was the gist of it and I found that interesting. We have plumbed baseboard heating, not forced hot air like in most houses because we don't have a basement and we're on a slab foundation. 

I use one of those newer, supposedly safer tower heaters in our bedroom because it's the coldest room in the house and the farthest away from the furnace and we were told it would be quite an expense to make it a separate zone. But I only use it when we're asleep at night. I shut it off during the day and especially when out. And I unplug it when we go away for vacations. It has a very sensitive shut-off switch that turns it off if you even sneeze at it. I don't mind because I'd rather it be too sensitive than not sensitive enough!

[StatisticalOutlier]

8 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

I have wall-to-wall carpet so using an economical space heater where I sleep is not wise. Unless there's some modern device I don't know about? 
And isn’t “economical space heater” still an oxymoron?

I'm not familiar with "economical space heaters" but I use a lot of regular little ceramic space heaters.  I live in an RV and if where I'm staying has enough electricity to support it, I've been known to use several of them at a time.  (If you want to run more than one, be sure they're on different circuits.)

The math on those is quite simple.  They tell you how many watts they use--usually 1500 watts on HIGH.  Multiply that by the number of hours it gets used in a 24-hour period.  For simplicity, we'll assume it runs 24/7 (which mine often do).

(1500 watts) x (24 hours) = 36,000 watt hours = 36 kilowatt hours (kwh).

Multiply 36 kwh by how much your electricity costs per kilowatt hour (usually around 15-20 cents).  If it's 20 cents per kwh, then the cost to run it for 24 hours is:

(36 kwh) x ($.20) = $7.20

If you use it for only 12 hours a day, then it would be $3.60 per day.

(However, sometimes billing gets tricky, like when there is tiered pricing, where you pay more per kilowatt hour if you exceed a certain threshold.)

But I'll note that every space heater I've owned has lost oomph over time.  About once a year I plug each one into a Kill-a-Watt, which measures how many watts it's actually using, regardless of its rating.  I have some rated at 1500 watts on HIGH that now use only 500 watts on HIGH. 

And FWIW, I have wall-to-wall carpeting and I leave space heaters running when I'm not at home and when I'm sleeping.  I don't have any pets so the only way they're going to fall over is if a human does it, and the human will notice.  But even so, the newer ones have tip-over protection, so if they fall over they turn off.  And they don't get hot enough to melt what they're sitting on, and I don't have them anywhere near anything like drapes or blankets.

[shapeshifter]

19 hours ago, Yeah No said:

If you have your own furnace maybe the furnace is a cause of higher bills and it needs a service or something

I did have it serviced this fall, but it’s over 20 years old, so…

19 hours ago, Yeah No said:

JUST saw a report on my local TV news saying that closing the vents in unused rooms can actually raise electric bills because it forces the unit to work harder for some reason.

I’m just huddled in bed on my phone right now, LOL (so not searching on my laptop) but I just googled:

• Does closing heating vents in unused rooms raise electric bills forces furnace work harder

and a bunch of websites agree it is ineffective, including a site titled “saveonenergy.com” with nebulous information about the site, but mostly HVAC companies’ sites.

The problem is that the vent in the little laundry room next to the front door and across a little hall from a little kitchen is directly above the furnace.
ETA: I just looked more closely at the laundry room's heating vent. When it's in the closed position, it has a metal rectangle that entirely blocks the heat. Weird?? Like they knew it was a bad design???

The bedrooms are down a hall that originates off of a large living/dining room. When the heat first come on, it blows the cold air out those bedroom vents for a couple of minutes, which probably doesn’t help.

The first winter I was here I briefly went into a neighbor’s condo that is the same layout as mine. At some point their furnace had been moved upstairs from the storage room in the garage into their little laundry room. They complained about how loud it is, and that the bedrooms were still icy cold in winter.
Interestingly, the AC units are all outside the condos, and work well at distributing the cold air throughout the condo. And, at least half the condo owners are “snowbirds” who live in the South from October to May.

The bedrooms are over the unheated garage for 3 cars for 3 units, which doesn’t help.

 

19 hours ago, Yeah No said:

We have plumbed baseboard heating

That’s what I had most of my other places. 
My nearby daughter has electric baseboards with thermostats in each room, which works quite well, especially since their town has some kind of locally famous cost-saving electrical grid.

Edited Yest. at 01:01 AM by shapeshifter

[Yeah No]

18 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

I did have it serviced this fall, but it’s over 20 years old, so…

I’m just huddled in bed on my phone right now, LOL (so not searching on my laptop) but I just googled:

• Does closing heating vents in unused rooms raise electric bills forces furnace work harder

and a bunch of websites agree it is ineffective, including a site titled “saveonenergy.com” with nebulous information about the site, but mostly HVAC companies’ sites.

The problem is that the vent in the little laundry room next to the front door and across a little hall from a little kitchen is directly above the furnace.
ETA: I just looked more closely at the laundry room's heating vent. When it's in the closed position, it has a metal rectangle that entirely blocks the heat. Weird?? Like they knew it was a bad design???

The bedrooms are down a hall that originates off of a large living/dining room. When the heat first come on, it blows the cold air out those bedroom vents for a couple of minutes, which probably doesn’t help.

The first winter I was here I briefly went into a neighbor’s condo that is the same layout as mine. At some point their furnace had been moved upstairs from the storage room in the garage into their little laundry room. They complained about how loud it is, and that the bedrooms were still icy cold in winter.
Interestingly, the AC units are all outside the condos, and work well at distributing the cold air throughout the condo. And, at least half the condo owners are “snowbirds” who live in the South from October to May.

That's too bad. When you have it serviced again ask them to do an analysis of how efficient the distribution of heat is. I've had that done, that's how we found out about needing a second zone for the bedroom. I'll bet it gets a bad report card, although there's probably not much you can do about it. They may have some useful advice for you anyway. It's usually a free service.

19 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

The bedrooms are over the unheated garage for 3 cars for 3 units, which doesn’t help.

Ouch, that says a lot. I just read recently that rooms adjacent to unheated rooms are colder. It would be especially bad if they're over the unheated rooms because part of the benefit of rooms upstairs is that they normally get the heat that rises from below.

Our bedroom is farthest away from the furnace and it's got 3 sides exposed to the outside. One wall partially juts out from the back of the house. So that's why that room is the coolest in the house in Winter. It's also the warmest in the Summer, but it actually benefits from a lot of shade from trees in the back yard so that helps.

[Cloud9Shopper]

On 1/18/2025 at 2:48 PM, Dimity said:

Discussion in the Feels thread about Tradwives made me think of a talk show I saw recently where some 20 somethings were jealous that their grandparents didn't have to go out to work and could "sit around the house all day" doing whatever they wanted. 

No one pushed back on this and as usual I end up thinking up all sorts of things I would like to have said to these people.  The biggest one being if you are VERY LUCKY you get to live to see retirement age and also have enough savings plus a decent pension - that you EARNED while you worked for 40 years - so that you can live comfortably.

The entitlement of it the 'we deserve to retire after working all of 5 years' - wow. -

I’m almost 40 and can’t stand all the comments online from people my age and younger crying that they are burned out from working, and they can’t believe they spend so much of their life doing it and wish there were more than this. Like they’re shocked the world doesn’t exist to entertain them and coddle to them to make sure they can do whatever they please all day, every day.

I don’t love working either. I’m definitely one of those people who would quit my job if I won a huge Powerball jackpot and spend my days doing as I pleased. But that’s not likely to happen and the alternative is that none of my bills get paid. So I suck it up just like everyone else who isn’t chronically online. Some of these people need to grow up and learn how to be adults, which includes accepting that you most likely have to work.

Anyway, I’m going back to church choir tonight, which means the guy who asked me out will probably be there. I plan on not interacting with him beyond saying hello in case he is thinking there is still hope. I will not explain myself if he asks (I ultimately decided never to tell him the answer to his “is it something I said?” question.) and I’ll try not to say or do anything that makes him think there’s hope. 

The whole weirdness of it all made me decide a few things about dating in general going forward:

-I’m not willing to give a man feedback about why I rejected him. This is not a job interview and I am not HR. And I’m not your life coach either.

-The fact that this man pursued me when he’s over 15 years older than me (17 to be exact) says more about issues he has as opposed to anything I did wrong by refusing to date him and not talking to him once he was pushing his romantic interest. If he was a desirable partner and knew how to interact with women, he wouldn’t even be worried about asking out a woman almost 20 years younger than him. I know plenty of people think age gaps are no big deal or I shouldn’t care about them, but they do matter to me, and I’m sticking to my belief on this and will only seek out men with a 5-10 year age difference in either direction. 

-I’d rather be single and independent than date for the sake of dating or go out with any random  guy just because he looked at me. I won’t listen to any further outside pressure from family and/or friends to “just give this guy a chance” or entertain anymore thoughts on how I should really have a partner. If I want to date, I will, and I no longer care if people around me are badgering me for not going on a date with a specific guy, or insisting that I need a partner because I seem lonely and would be happier with one. 

Edited 22 hours ago by Cloud9Shopper

[shapeshifter]

19 minutes ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

I plan on not interacting with him beyond saying hello in case he is thinking there is still hope.…

It sounds like you have the situation under control and have a great perspective on it too. 
However, as someone who is so well-practiced at rebuffing wannabe suitors that I have managed to not have a date in the 35 years I've been divorced, you might want to follow your "hello" with "excuse me" and then turn away to engage someone else in conversation. Or even skip the "hello" altogether and go straight to the "excuse me," which is perfectly polite and leaves zero confusion as to whether or not you are happy to see him. 

BTW, although I do believe it is best for me that I have chosen to not engage in another partnership, I do totally support those who choose to have a life companion, live-in or otherwise.

[shapeshifter]

On 1/19/2025 at 12:23 AM, Yeah No said:

JUST saw a report on my local TV news saying that closing the vents in unused rooms can actually raise electric bills because it forces the unit to work harder for some reason.

On 1/19/2025 at 8:08 AM, shapeshifter said:

…a bunch of websites agree it is ineffective,

5 hours ago, Yeah No said:

ETA: I just looked more closely at the laundry room's heating vent. When it's in the closed position, it has a metal rectangle that entirely blocks the heat

I put that rectangle in a partially open position, and I think it may have helped distribute the heat a bit better, so thanks, @Yeah No!!

My daughter who is just 20 miles away, just texted me a table of her electric bills for the last 3 years' Januarys, and hers is also almost double this year too.
Here's this morning's view from my sliding glass door in my bedroom (another source of heat loss; I keep meaning to get another pair of insulated curtains):

[Anduin]

6 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

Here's this morning's view from my sliding glass door in my bedroom (another source of heat loss; I keep meaning to get another pair of insulated curtains):

As someone who's having the opposite of this right now, I'm quite jealous.

[shapeshifter]

3 minutes ago, Anduin said:

As someone who's having the opposite of this right now, I'm quite jealous.

You wouldn't be after a few days! LOL

Right now the wind chill is 9ºF / –13ºC.

Edited 21 hours ago by shapeshifter

[Cloud9Shopper]

I’m getting to the point with snow where it’s nice to look at but I hate everything else about it, like going out every couple hours to shovel and keeping up with the accumulation. Or cleaning off my car after the snowfall plus letting it warm up before I go anywhere. Now I know why people move down south, albeit I would not love the summers with high humidity and temps LOL. 

 

[Yeah No]

15 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

You wouldn't be after a few days! LOL

Right now the wind chill is 9ºF / –13ºC.

I hear you. We got 8 inches of snow last night and woke up to temps. in the single digits. And it's not going up much from there and the wind chills are going to be brutal.

26 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

Here's this morning's view from my sliding glass door in my bedroom (another source of heat loss; I keep meaning to get another pair of insulated curtains):

Nice view, BTW!

27 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

I put that rectangle in a partially open position, and I think it may have helped distribute the heat a bit better, so thanks, @Yeah No!!

So happy to hear that!!

[Yeah No]

1 hour ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

I’m almost 40 and can’t stand all the comments online from people my age and younger crying that they are burned out from working, and they can’t believe they spend so much of their life doing it and wish there were more than this. Like they’re shocked the world doesn’t exist to entertain them and coddle to them to make sure they can do whatever they please all day, every day.

I don’t love working either. I’m definitely one of those people who would quit my job if I won a huge Powerball jackpot and spend my days doing as I pleased. But that’s not likely to happen and the alternative is that none of my bills get paid. So I suck it up just like everyone else who isn’t chronically online. Some of these people need to grow up and learn how to be adults, which includes accepting that you most likely have to work.

As you know, I feel your pain over this. My friend's kids are in your age bracket and feel the same way. They're also tired of being expected to pull up the slack of their coworkers that are like the ones you describe above and not get paid any more either. This is definitely more of a problem now than it was when I was younger but people like that have always existed and people like us have always been the ones to work all the harder because of it. I know that's no consolation, though! Years ago there were more people that complained about being sooooo busy, meanwhile they were pushing the same papers around their desk all day long to make it look like they were doing more work! Same effect, though!

14 minutes ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

I’m getting to the point with snow where it’s nice to look at but I hate everything else about it, like going out every couple hours to shovel and keeping up with the accumulation. Or cleaning off my car after the snowfall plus letting it warm up before I go anywhere. Now I know why people move down south, albeit I would not love the summers with high humidity and temps LOL. 

Same here although with me I'm chalking it up to age as it does get more bothersome as I get older. My husband, who never cared about traveling in snow has now admitted that he hates driving in weather anymore. And as a driver that's something new as he was always decidedly the opposite!

[Absolom]

2 hours ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

-I’m not willing to give a man feedback about why I rejected him. This is not a job interview and I am not HR. And I’m not your life coach either.

Fantastic that you've reached that point!  Congratulations.  You owe him nothing.

2 hours ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

-I’d rather be single and independent than date for the sake of dating or go out with any random  guy just because he looked at me. I won’t listen to any further outside pressure from family and/or friends to “just give this guy a chance” or entertain anymore thoughts on how I should really have a partner. If I want to date, I will, and I no longer care if people around me are badgering me for not going on a date with a specific guy, or insisting that I need a partner because I seem lonely and would be happier with one. 

My mother tried that garbage on me.  There was a book once upon a time about "Why I Think I'm Nothing Without a Man."  Many people should have read it before opening their mouths to the rest of us.

2 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

It sounds like you have the situation under control and have a great perspective on it too. 
However, as someone who is so well-practiced at rebuffing wannabe suitors that I have managed to not have a date in the 35 years I've been divorced, you might want to follow your "hello" with "excuse me" and then turn away to engage someone else in conversation. Or even skip the "hello" altogether and go straight to the "excuse me," which is perfectly polite and leaves zero confusion as to whether or not you are happy to see him. 

I was thinking the same thing as I read the original post.  Disengage and walk away as quickly as possible.  Don't engage with him at all if possible.  Excuse me is an excellent response if he says anything to you.  

1 hour ago, Yeah No said:

As you know, I feel your pain over this. My friend's kids are in your age bracket and feel the same way. They're also tired of being expected to pull up the slack of their coworkers that are like the ones you describe above and not get paid any more either. This is definitely more of a problem now than it was when I was younger but people like that have always existed and people like us have always been the ones to work all the harder because of it. I know that's no consolation, though! Years ago there were more people that complained about being sooooo busy, meanwhile they were pushing the same papers around their desk all day long to make it look like they were doing more work! Same effect, though!

So true we've always had slackers.  I think perhaps they used to try to hide it better.  I do remember decades ago firing a warehouse worker who kept a portable TV in his bottom desk drawer.  That was the old time version of spending the day on the phone on social media.

Edited 20 hours ago by Absolom

[supposebly]

-35C this morning. I'm working from home today.

[Dimity]

6 minutes ago, supposebly said:

-35C this morning. I'm working from home today.

-17C but apparently feels like -24 here.  I say apparently because today is a very good day to stay inside with a good book and I am going to do just that!

Edited 19 hours ago by Dimity

[Browncoat]

Well, now I feel like a wimp, complaining that it's 16F here, with a feels like temp of 5F.  

The wind brought down another fairly large limb from one of the trees in my front yard.  Fortunately, it missed all the potential obstacles (including the electric line coming from the pole to my house), but it is taking up a lot of space in the yard.

<sigh>  At least the snow/ice mostly melted before we got this round of sub-freezing weather.

[supposebly]

15 minutes ago, Dimity said:

-17C but apparently feels like -24 here.

Windchill -44C. I think it's the coldest morning this winter, ignoring night time lows. The weird thing, tomorrow morning, it will be -7C with -16C wind chill. I better get my migraine pills ready.

[Anela]

It’s really cold here.  I think we started out with a wind chill of -8. 

[shapeshifter]

5 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Nice view, BTW!

Heh, snow can make even a parking lot pretty.

[Anduin]

5 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

You wouldn't be after a few days! LOL

Right now the wind chill is 9ºF / –13ºC.

That's lower than I've ever experienced. But I'm up at 4 am, no lights, windows open. My apartment feels over 30 c/85 f already. Not at all fun.