Manzo'd With Children - General Discussion

[eurekagirl mOo]

Really Caroline? Really? id you go to SuperCuts and got the beautician who just graduated beauty school like yesterday? Yikes. That is, no doubt, the ugliest, least flattering hair I have ever seen. 

[RabbiBeth]

I don't know I watched this mess but I did.  On the upside, it's only a thirty minute show, not an hour!

[Pickles]

Does Caroline kind of have Rosie's haircut now? Looks pretty much like it to me. Caroline's face is way too jowly for the shorter hair. Has she gained weight?

[heatherchandler]

On ‎9‎/‎12‎/‎2016 at 7:47 PM, tenativelyyours said:

 

heatherchandler

The woman that played Albie's girlfriend that Caroline was so pearl clutching over when she first met her in the first season and then came back as a storyline last season, the one with the fluffy hair, heavy make up and bolt on boobs; had a boyfriend the entire time and apparently was a wannabe actress who listed the show under acting experience on an online resume before the first season had even finished airing.  She took the resume down but not before she was tracked down online as having also tried out for other reality shows though I cannot remember what they were.  I'm pretty sure they were in the VH1 and WE quality though.  I think her instagram was made private or just went inactive for a little while but then she was back posting pictures of herself and her boyfriend while the second season was airing and it was the same boyfriend she had before she ever appeared on the show. 

Oh wow - I kind of half-watched the first season, and barely watched the second.  I remember that girl, she seemed NOT very into him at all, so that makes sense. 

Why are they even bothering?  It is so strange that they keep pushing this Albie-as-hottest-guy-ever crap.  They think he's the cat's meow.  It is so weird.

[Pickles]

Lauren is pregnant. I can see a spinoff show coming. Gag.

[Bubbles1967]

On September 14, 2016 at 4:35 PM, Pickles said:

Does Caroline kind of have Rosie's haircut now? Looks pretty much like it to me. Caroline's face is way too jowly for the shorter hair. Has she gained weight?

Yes apparently she broke her foot and gained 30 lbs so she couldn't work out.  

[ginger90]

Just in general, a broken foot does not stop one from execising. It certainly alters it, no doubt. Physical therapy at home is an option, and watching what is eaten. I hope I worded this correctly, I don't mean it as rude.

[Bubbles1967]

I just relayed what she said in an interview about her weight. I'm sure eating poorly also was a big contributing factor. 

[Pickles]

Wow! Thirty pounds is a LOT to gain. She must have not moderated her intake at all. 

[misschung]

I think it's offensive because it's reflective of the entire Manzo dynamic -- her family seemed not to place any value on her before she lost weight.  Her saying she doesn't want to be a fat bride is offensive to bride's who aren't skinny.  

[misschung]

I can't believe this family is still on the air...

[Ubiquitous]

On ‎8‎/‎21‎/‎2016 at 8:42 AM, Bossa Nova said:

These people are not charming or funny or entertaining at all. Why do they keep getting renewed.

Albie is Andy Cohen's personal fluffer?

[Bronzedog]

Does Chris know he's not married to Caroline?

[citychic]

13 hours ago, Bronzedog said:

Does Chris know he's not married to Caroline?

Na man, does Caroline realize that she's not married to Chris? 

[bichonblitz]

On 9/17/2016 at 1:59 PM, Bubbles1967 said:

Yes apparently she broke her foot and gained 30 lbs so she couldn't work out.  

Ha! That's the same broken foot excuse Valerie Bertinelli used when she gained back all of her Jenny Craig weight loss. 

I know I have said this before, but...why is it ok for Chrittofer to never have a girlfriend, and not ok for Albie? Poor, poor, skinny, lonely Albie. Living all by himself in that fabulous apartment. Why did they keep mentioning his weight loss?  

Now Vito is loving living in Laurens cramped bedroom and Lauren is the one that wants to move out? Oh, please. Vito, please don't make me hate you, too...

[FamilyVan]

I liked Caroline's hair better when it was red (lighter).  The dark color is not working and I did like her hair longer too.  What she has going on on the show right now is not her best look.  And I am including S1 RHONJ when I say that.  I saw on her Twitter she has already lost 15 lbs so good for her.

Why do the boys not have girlfriends?  Hmmm this is a real head-scratcher LOL

[qtpye]

Quote

How many times can they try to re-brand Albie.  First Lawyer-in-the-family.  Then remember when he was going to be all Officer Albie, Local Deputy?  Then Water Magnate.  Restaurateur Extraordinaire.  Bar Mogul with a Festival Traveling Beer Tapster on the side, Legalize Marijuana entrepreneur.  Now consultant?  On how not to start a business that won't last longer than the subsidy and promotion being on tv allows?

You forgot future husband of Alexa Ray Joel, because they both understand growing up with privilege.

[StevieRocks]

I always get so angry when they start pushing Albie as something special. A very long time ago, Cwittopher came in and effectively and elegantly handled one of those Kim-hags at a party fight. Instead of praising him and allowing him to do his thing, this fambly of gangly, lumbering neanderthals interfered and made everything worse. Albie is like Biff Loman and needs to sit his fugly mother down and explain, "I'm nothin' Mom; I'm a dime a dozen." He comes off as such a little b****. I remember an image of him on an airplane on the NJHW show. The plane was taking off, and he was digging his nails into the armrests, tightly squeezing his eyes closed, and trying not to hyperventilate. Yeah, Manzos--that failing-to-thrive blob of yours is a real catch. How were these hogs renewed? I just couldn't last through the ridiculous Scooby Doo redux they clumsily staged. Ugh.

Edited September 25, 2016 by StevieRocks

[bichonblitz]

Omg. Chris dressed in drag. Not funny. Not funny at all. He tries so damn hard with his little shenanigans, though.  I'm beginning to dislike this kid more than anyone else in the family. It pains me to say this, but Lauren is right. She works harder than the two schmuck brothers ever have. 

Why did Greg have to show up? Was there any purpose at all? He acted like he couldn't wait to get back to San Francisco.  

I like Vito's mom. She's ditzy but really sweet. I bet she has worked her ass off all of her life in that deli. Unlike Caroline who hasn't done a damn thing with herself. Except make soap.  

Edited September 26, 2016 by bichonblitz

[psychoticstate]

So Bravo was playing repeats of this earlier today and normally I want nothing to do with these oxygen thieves. However, I left the tv on while I was working and did catch a few things.

As others have pointed out, WTF did Caroline do to her hair?  Errant lawn mower drive by?  Did she lost a bet?  I did wonder if she had been sick because I really have nothing else. 

I continue to dislike Lauren with the fire of a thousand suns.  She is insufferable.  Does anyone follow her Twitter?  She is unbelievably rude and calls people the c word frequently.  Way to be a professional and polished business owner, Lauren.  Is her business so good that she can open a second location?  And is this business the same as that horrendously named Cafface?  

I admit that Crittofer did make me laugh - - first with the arrows and the croaky "You want to kill someone for Al?" (which I'm sure Caroline would gladly do if it meant ratings and a prisoner for Albie) and then, upon seeing the counter full of soaps, to say that his mother was probably on some watchlist somewhere.  That made me chuckle. 

[FamilyVan]

Not a single post on the new ep last night?  <crickets> Oh Andy, I think this show may be toast... admit it.

Watching Albie wiff at the batting cages was sad.  Watching him "consult" his mom on her soap co. was embarrassing.  We'll get you up and running, it's what I do?  Um oooookayyyy...  (cringe).  This poor guy.

[EtheltoTillie]

I could not make it all the way through.

[Bronzedog]

This episode was to stupid to comment on.  Other than to say it was stupid.

[DNR]

Albie can't even get Himself up and running and he's gonna get his mothers dumb soaps to take off? No, just another failure to add to the list Albieeeeee.  Crawl back to the catering hall you clown 

[bichonblitz]

1 hour ago, DNR said:

Albie can't even get Himself up and running and he's gonna get his mothers dumb soaps to take off? No, just another failure to add to the list Albieeeeee.  Crawl back to the catering hall you clown 

And his dad telling him at the batting cages that he's so proud of him and his thinking "out of the box" all the time. Nice try, Big Al. We all know Ablie's self esteem level has been in the gutter ever since he got kicked out of law school. Albie doesn't really believe his own hype which is why he's never successful at anything. I don't know what Crittofer's excuse is and the jury is still out on Lauren because I don't know if her stores are only open because her parents are paying the bills or if she is actually making a profit on them. 

[LilaFowler]

I didn't realize that this show was back until I saw it mentioned in another show thread. Finally caught up:

Ep. 1: I've been to Eastern State Pen during the Halloween season and it's barely anything. PUH-lease.  Vito commutes to his father's deli every day?  Crazy.  Caro's haircut is horrible.  Did Crittofer's book do well in sales?

Ep. 2: I'm dying to know the real deal with Lauren's salons.  Did the first one really do well enough to open a second? Of course Big Al is in the background writing checks, I wonder if it's personal money or if it's his name on the bank loan.  If Caroline's soaps are cheaper than LUSH and decent quality, I'd give them a chance. I like bath bombs. They make good stocking stuffers.  When the Bravo money runs out, Albie is gone from his Hoboken apartment and will be back with Al and Big Red. Same for Crittopher.  Instead of Manhattan, why doesn't Vito open a deli in NJ?  Wouldn't that just be easier and more logical?  Living at Caro's while commuting to his dad's shop seems like treading water to me.

Ep. 3:  Albie is pretending to be a consultant now?  He's failed at literally everything he's ever tried to do.  He needs to take advice not give it.  Neither Crittopher nor Albie has ever had a real girlfriend. Lauren has probably had more sex in her life than the two of them combined.  Speaking of Lauren:  living with her parents, new business, a husband who commutes a hefty distance to work long hours every day -- of course, a baby is exactly what you need.  They are in no financial position to have a kid but that's never stopped anyone before I guess.  It's kinda harsh for Big Al to say that Vito "definitely isn't a son yet".  He and Lauren have been together for seven years and he was BFF with Albie before then.  He's not some stranger, he's been around.  Funnily enough Vito is more like him than Albie or Crittopher.  Vito's the only one I could see taking over the Brownstone.

Ep. 4: Greg is fat. The Vegas trip: zzzzzzz

Ep. 5:  Lauren and Vito are already resentful of each other. So much for the newlywed haze period. Lauren is so ungrateful and whiny.  Albie "working" for Big Red is just a way for her to pay his rent.  It's sad, really.  Al is so proud of him?  FOR DOING WHAT?

[tenativelyyours]

On 10/4/2016 at 11:56 AM, bichonblitz said:

And his dad telling him at the batting cages that he's so proud of him and his thinking "out of the box" all the time. Nice try, Big Al. We all know Ablie's self esteem level has been in the gutter ever since he got kicked out of law school. Albie doesn't really believe his own hype which is why he's never successful at anything. I don't know what Crittofer's excuse is and the jury is still out on Lauren because I don't know if her stores are only open because her parents are paying the bills or if she is actually making a profit on them. 

 

And all I could think was how could Albie think outside the box when he is still wrapped in the original packing he came in?  Though whoever thought Caroline Manzo and Soaps?  Wasn't just thinking outside the box.  They picked up the box, turned it over and then crawled underneath to hide.  The woman that shaves her face to exfoliate is the one to promote a line of skin products?  Riiiight.  This had to come from the stupid head that brought us Caroline Manzo's Secret family BBQ Sauce recipe she had to borrow from someone else.  Because before then, say Caroline Manzo and Ribs is what came to mind, right?  Riiight. 

I think a part of this is that Caroline played the victim card for Albie too hard in his law school fiasco.  I'm still not sure he actually truly got in or if they thought he did pending approval of his various undergrad requirements.  There was something fishy about that and how Albie was still the most perfect future lawyer there was and it was all the mean unfair law school to not let him show them his brilliance.  The last time I heard Caroline say something it was along the lines of how cruel the law school was in not letting them essentially skirt all the admission requirements that every single other student accepted had to meet. 

 

Vito and Lauren make me sad since they remind me of that post war generation that saw the world open up for both genders even as they clung to tradition that trapped them in unhappy marriages.  I can them sticking together, having a couple of kids and then both feeling that the other is too blame for how bitter and small and sad their lives have turned out to be; but I can see both being the type to never actually get divorced.  I can see Lauren running home and having her parents validate her for a little while but then get tired of her and push her back.  I can see Vito going home to live in his parents' basement or take over recently passed Nonni's little suite every once in awhile when the troubles at home get too intense.  I see decades of meals with the two them just simmering with resentment and recrimination. 

[ginger90]

 

Caroline's "store".

[Ubiquitous]

Well, duh! Caroline's face is on the logo!

[Muffyn]

On ‎9‎/‎26‎/‎2016 at 1:13 PM, bichonblitz said:

Omg. Chris dressed in drag. Not funny. Not funny at all. He tries so damn hard with his little shenanigans, though.  I'm beginning to dislike this kid more than anyone else in the family. It pains me to say this, but Lauren is right. She works harder than the two schmuck brothers ever have. 

Why did Greg have to show up? Was there any purpose at all? He acted like he couldn't wait to get back to San Francisco.  

I like Vito's mom. She's ditzy but really sweet. I bet she has worked her ass off all of her life in that deli. Unlike Caroline who hasn't done a damn thing with herself. Except make soap.  

Greg was there to service whichever Manzo boy he's been in a relationship with all these years. 

In addition to her soap, Caro has also spent much effort criticizing others, over praising her sons and of course wiping her kitchen counters.  That woman can wipe!

[bichonblitz]

Those soaps Albie and Caroline brought to the grocery store looked like a second grader made them. They were awful! The way Albie was talking to the manager when he called him on the phone to see if they got the account was so unprofessional. There is no hope for that guy.

I'm trying to figure out what look Caro is going for with that greased back hair, big black frame glasses and no makeup on. Does she just not give a shit anymore? She's on TV, she needs to put some effort in to trying to look nice like the other  Real Housewife Jersey girls and their tons of fake hair!

[tenativelyyours]

On 10/7/2016 at 7:46 AM, ginger90 said:

 

Caroline's "store".

 

Just for fun, as I was catching up here, I had a couple of associates get a flash of her logo and wonderfully it makes it come out as "FriendlyMonkeysPoo".  Since the use of social media and various portable devices means flicking and clicking and a single half-glance too often, it just shows how brilliant they are in their tycoon-ing doesn't it?

I'm not sure what look Caroline is going for with the hair and glasses.  I think she might think the slicked back look makes her look younger.  It doesn't.  And the glasses make her look intellectual and hip?  They don't.

Considering that Caroline and Albie likely planned that call out, you think they would have sat down and watched a couple of movies or shows about fake savvy business jargon?  Albie can't even pretend right.

There really is something stunted in what this family thinks is hilarious and going to make for entertaining television.   Caroline always has struck me as someone who (erroneously) thinks she is always the smartest person in the room* and I think that has rubbed off on her children, especially the two failures, I mean sons. 

 

*Her street smarts versus book smarts when intellectually they live in a cul-de-sac; her using the RH celebrity to jump on a radio show and pretend she has sage advice for everyone else even when her own extended family has let the simple cheap "fame" of a RH show pretty much raise walls of bitterness and hate.

[EtheltoTillie]

Quote

On 10/6/2016 at 10:07 PM, tenativelyyours said:

 

I think a part of this is that Caroline played the victim card for Albie too hard in his law school fiasco.  I'm still not sure he actually truly got in or if they thought he did pending approval of his various undergrad requirements.  There was something fishy about that and how Albie was still the most perfect future lawyer there was and it was all the mean unfair law school to not let him show them his brilliance.  The last time I heard Caroline say something it was along the lines of how cruel the law school was in not letting them essentially skirt all the admission requirements that every single other student accepted had to meet. 

 

 

 

I wanted to comment on this earlier.  I am a lawyer, and I know what it takes to get through law school.  I've never thought Albie could get through law school.

Here's a recap that appeared in one of the law blogs at the time.  http://abovethelaw.com/2010/07/albie-manzo-v-seton-hall-law-school/  Apparently he wasn't given extra time for exams for a learning disability at the first law school and flunked out.  Caroline wanted him to fight the mean law school to get a dispensation to apply to another school.  Otherwise he would have had to wait two years to apply to the other school.  They consulted a disability lawyer but must have dropped the whole thing.  I do disability rights work myself, and I'm not against people getting reasonable accommodations.  In real life, you are not speed tested as you are in the law school and bar exams.  But I'm not sure he could succeed even with extra time.  

BTW, Albie uses a word that got Donald Trump in a lot of trouble this last week . . .

Edited October 11, 2016 by GussieK
Forgot to add Trump reference.

[Bronzedog]

What a fun young couple Lauren and Vito are!  He lies that he won't be at her birthday and then shows up!  He sometimes calls her from work and says he's going to be an hour late but then gets home on time! 'Cause they're fun!  Losers.

[SleepyAndClumsy]

With the exception of Urban Putt, which looked cramped, too-bright, and not fun, the Manzo's trip to the Bay Area really made me want to visit San Francisco! It's just such a pretty city.

I guess I watch this show just to feel good about myself, because it really isn't very entertaining or charming. How old are the Manzo brothers? Don't they feel a little weird going on vacations with their mommy and daddy still? Don't they want their own families and friends? It really makes me wonder about how they were raised. 

[ginger90]

I think Albie is 30 and Chris around 27?

[qtpye]

Next stop...Chucky Cheese with the Manzo boys.

[RabbiBeth]

It's amazing how much bickering Lauren and Vito do.  Don't newlyweds usually actually enjoy each other?

[EtheltoTillie]

Did Chris "jokingly" say that he was going to tell his mother he was gay?  Did I hear this correctly?  I didn't want to rewind to find out.  But I did a double take.  He was joking that it would be easier to tell her he was gay than to tell her that he was moving out.  

Edited October 18, 2016 by GussieK

[ginger90]

1 hour ago, GussieK said:

Did Chris "jokingly" say that he was going to tell his mother he was gay?  Did I hear this correctly?  I didn't want to rewind to find out.  But I did a double take.  He was joking that it would be easier to tell her he was gay than to tell her that he was moving out.  

I didn't see it, but I believe she would take it that way.

[movingtargetgal]

3 hours ago, RabbiBeth said:

It's amazing how much bickering Lauren and Vito do.  Don't newlyweds usually actually enjoy each other?

Newlywed do bicker on occasion, however, when the bride is a miserable bitch, they tend to bicker a lot. 

[tenativelyyours]

On 10/16/2016 at 10:15 PM, Bronzedog said:

What a fun young couple Lauren and Vito are!  He lies that he won't be at her birthday and then shows up!  He sometimes calls her from work and says he's going to be an hour late but then gets home on time! 'Cause they're fun!  Losers.

 

She does know that when they split up and she has to take a restraining order out against him, that is just a step away from "the call is coming from inside the house", right??  I wonder if he tells her over breakfast that the forecast says rain and to take an umbrella and then calls her in the middle of a cloudless, sunny day just to say "psyche!"  I know that is what every marriage I know that has lasted fifty years or more was built on. /sarcasm.  Simple pleasures for simple minds.

My grandfather traveled for work and so hated to travel for pleasure.  My grandmother was the opposite.  So my father and his siblings all often traveled with her as well as her grandchildren even when we became adults.  We've often done things as a family as adults -- football games, the Olympics once,  summer house getaway type things.  But we also don't live in each other's hip pocket the way these people seem to.  There doesn't seem to be any real sense of boundary or definition of separate lives as adults.  It doesn't seem in any way that these ventures and jaunts as a family are the exception as opposed to the norm.  In that sense the show does seem to capture a sort of stifling reality.  That those boys, even if they have their own places, are not actually evolved as independent adults but more like the way many kids see their parents and the family home during their college years. They actually live most of the year elsewhere but it is still home.  Not in a sentimental or even emotional sense but in a developmental sense. 

For the sake of his love life if the Critter ever came out and then moved out he should move all the way to the west coast.  I think his mother would be even worse for a same sex relationship "in-law" because she would overwalk the line of being accepting etc, but actually be more jealous in an odd way.  I think because she reminds of me a college friend's mother who simply had to always immerse herself fully in her children's life and she saw her gay son as the perfect vehicle as opposed to the others because deep in her mind it was not the traditional idea she was used to and had to not just prove how open minded and accepting she was but also because I think deep down she thought it was more elastic in response to her "open mindedness" to allow her more leeway to insert herself than the rest of the kids and their marriages.

[qtpye]

The boys are darlings of their mother's eye and have been stunted by her coddling.  The fact that they are grown men and I am referring to them as boys without irony is proof of this.

Lauren is bitter, because she has always been looked upon as the fat loser in her family.  She is married Vito, because she feels he is the best she can do, not because she loves him.

Can you imagine if either of the boys brought home the female version of Vito?  A nice chubby gal from a working class family?  There is no way Caro would deem this good enough for the boys.  No, the boys deserve the offspring of Billy Joel, particularly Albie.

I remember Lauren said she went to the prom with her brother (Albie). I always thought this was so weird.  I mean it was not a big deal for those without dates to go stag in a group, to the prom or just skip it.  I also remember Big Al being happy that Lauren was fat, so " he did not have to worry about guys".  News flash, plenty of larger women have no problem attracting men.

Despite this toxic dynamic, I will say that Caro and Big Al do support her and are happy to finance her and her brothers' hair brained schemes, so the permanent resting bitch face is a bit much.

Edited October 21, 2016 by qtpye

[LilaFowler]

Is Big Al really happy to finance their lives?  I think he probably wonders if he will ever be able to retire because his grown adult kids can't make it on their own.  I know I would be.  Lauren seems to be the most stable of the bunch.  Vito works full-time and she has her salons (although I am curious about the financing/loan aspect of them and if Al and Caro are involved).  Chris has his so-called writing career.  What does Albie have?  He's just treading water while he collects a paycheck from his mom.  I think that's why Caro enjoys her soaps business so much.  She gets to cut a check for Albie for "marketing."

[ginger90]

So have they all really moved out?

[StatisticalOutlier]

On 10/6/2016 at 0:11 AM, LilaFowler said:

If Caroline's soaps are cheaper than LUSH and decent quality, I'd give them a chance.

Don't you dare.

[LilaFowler]

Zzzzzzz.  This is one of those shows that I watch and then 5 minutes later can't tell you anything that happened.  They went ziplining?

[Bronzedog]

They went zip lining and we learned that the biggest sin a Manzo can commit is to move out of New Jersey.  Also, Vito seems to love Lauren who seems to barely tolerate Vito.  The end.

[Bubbles1967]

On 10/19/2016 at 5:16 PM, ginger90 said:

So have they all really moved out?

I just finished a episode and saw the wallpaper.  I thought it was hideous. Now I see on here she's tearing it down  I think I have to play the lottery.

Lauren is such an ungrateful B.  She said her mothers 50th birthday was better than hers... are you kidding me. She also started whining about something else but my mind tuned out when my boyfriend asked me if I wanted ice cream.  I know my priorities.

[Bronzedog]

Chris said his biggest regret was that he didn't go to college.  Is there a New Jersey law that limits the age at which you can go to college?  Chris, if you truly regret not going before, go now, dumb ass.