S15.E05: Everything Whale Be Okay

[Mr. Miner]

31 minutes ago, ECM1231 said:

I asked my husband how many guys would get aroused straddling their spouse like that and what if they got an erection? I'd think it would be pretty embarrassing. 

How many guys would not get an erection straddling their wife like that? Embarrassing or a compliment?

[ECM1231]

5 minutes ago, Mr. Miner said:

How many guys would not get an erection straddling their wife like that? Embarrassing or a compliment?

Oh, I think it's a compliment for sure. That it's happening in front of all those people and the cameras is what I would feel embarrassed about.

[kristen111]

What does Mitch do anyway?  Does he make good money doing what he does?  He looks like a beach hippy, but what do I know?  He wore flip flops to the After Party.

[Empress1]

39 minutes ago, ECM1231 said:

I asked my husband how many guys would get aroused straddling their spouse like that and what if they got an erection? I'd think it would be pretty embarrassing. 

No - that’s often the point of the straddled massage. “Want a massage?” is one of the oldest lead-in to sex tricks in the book. It would be awkward for Lindy and Miguel because they don’t know each other and it was not going to lead to sex, but if it’s someone you know well and have a sexual and/or romantic relationship with, you roll with it - you either make a joke about it or take advantage of it, or both.

2 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

What does Mitch do anyway?  Does he make good money doing what he does?  He looks like a beach hippy, but what do I know?  He wore flip flops to the After Party.

I doubt it. He works for an environmental nonprofit. Nonprofits don’t tend to pay well and he’s said a few times that he works more for passion than money.

[Yeah No]

I'm not so optimistic about Mitch and Krysten.  He is what I call a "true commitmentphobe".  He is already giving himself the out he needs to get out of the commitment he just made by telling Krysten he's not feeling the attraction on day 3.  Any guy that wasn't looking for an out would wait and see, not engage in self-sabotage right out of the gate.  Even if he did find Krysten attractive his fear won't let him appreciate it.  Obviously she can make his dick hard so the problem is all in his head.  He is sabotaging it based on his mortal fear of commitment.  And Krysten, poor thing, gave him her blessing on that by telling him that she will say "no" on decision day if they don't have sex and he doesn't say "I love you" by then.  Now he doesn't have to feel guilty about it either because she told him exactly what she expects.  He has his easy out on decision day now.  All he has to do is not have sex and not say "I love you".  I don't think Krysten knows a thing about strategy with men.  Telling that to a total commitmetphobe is giving him exactly the easy out he needs.  He doesn't even have to do anything, just do nothing and she'll say "no" and be the bad guy.  He doesn't even have to take responsibility for it.  He can just stick to his mantra about not feeling it with her, like who can blame him for that?  Ugh.

It really pisses me off that Mitch was put on this show in the first place.  He has limited relationship experience because he obviously soon finds fault with any woman, and that's why he's still single.  He is so afraid of commitment that he finds an excuse to get out of everything.  It's really not hard to believe that someone like Mitch would get married at first sight.  In their heart of hearts commitmentphobes want to be in a long term relationship but know they can't do it on their own, so they figure forcing themselves into it might do the trick.  Well, even that doesn't work with someone like Mitch.  His fears are too insurmountable unless he were to get professional help.  The experts and the show producers should have seen him coming a MILE away.  Shame on them!  I am sorry but it's so obvious that either the experts are idiots or they don't pick these people at all.  Dr. Pepper in particular should know better.  I feel sorry for Krysten as I think she is ready for marriage and is willing to do whatever she can to make one work.  Unfortunately the better strategy with a guy like Mitch is not to act interested at all.  But playing head games is not Krysten's style.  She deserves better than that.

[kristen111]

11 hours ago, Katie111 said:

Why does Mitch have to tell Krysten that he’s not attracted to her?  

Because Production told him to.  Some wood on the fire.

[Jeanne222]

11 hours ago, kristen111 said:

Maybe she’s his first girlfriend/wife?  Therefore so enamored of her.  He is dying to jump her bones, and she is not ready.  He reminds me of a little boy.

I thought that too but unfortunately a very nice guy exists in that lanky off putting face and body.  I suspect Justin has had many disappointments in life.

But when he speaks kindness and all kind of words that make you feel good all over.

I hope he has found a woman that makes him look good and loves him!  I'm really rooting for him!

[Empress1]

31 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

And Krysten, poor thing, gave him her blessing on that by telling him that she will say "no" on decision day if they don't have sex and he doesn't say "I love you" by then. 

I thought she said sex OR “I love you.” Her point, I think, is that she wants confirmation that he’s into her romantically, but sex in particular won’t necessarily do that. It’s entirely possible to have sex with someone you don’t like that much. He could also tell her he loves her and not mean it but to be fair to him, I don’t think he would.

It’s also not necessarily a bad sign if he’s not in love with her after 8 weeks. SHE might not be in love with HIM after 8 weeks. But I do think it’s a bad sign if you don’t want to have some kind of sex with someone you’ve seen and shared a bed with for 8 weeks - if that hasn’t happened by then, it’s unlikely to. 8 weeks is plenty of time to know if you’re physically attracted to someone.

Edited August 4, 2022 by Empress1

[kristen111]

10 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

I'm not so optimistic about Mitch and Krysten.  He is what I call a "true commitmentphobe".  He is already giving himself the out he needs to get out of the commitment he just made by telling Krysten he's not feeling the attraction on day 3.  Any guy that wasn't looking for an out would wait and see, not engage in self-sabotage right out of the gate.  Even if he did find Krysten attractive his fear won't let him appreciate it.  Obviously she can make his dick hard so the problem is all in his head.  He is sabotaging it based on his mortal fear of commitment.  And Krysten, poor thing, gave him her blessing on that by telling him that she will say "no" on decision day if they don't have sex and he doesn't say "I love you" by then.  Now he doesn't have to feel guilty about it either because she told him exactly what she expects.  He has his easy out on decision day now.  All he has to do is not have sex and not say "I love you".  I don't think Krysten knows a thing about strategy with men.  Telling that to a total commitmetphobe is giving him exactly the easy out he needs.  He doesn't even have to do anything, just do nothing and she'll say "no" and be the bad guy.  He doesn't even have to take responsibility for it.  He can just stick to his mantra about not feeling it with her, like who can blame him for that?  Ugh.

It really pisses me off that Mitch was put on this show in the first place.  He has limited relationship experience because he obviously soon finds fault with any woman, and that's why he's still single.  He is so afraid of commitment that he finds an excuse to get out of everything.  It's really not hard to believe that someone like Mitch would get married at first sight.  In their heart of hearts commitmentphobes want to be in a long term relationship but know they can't do it on their own, so they figure forcing themselves into it might do the trick.  Well, even that doesn't work with someone like Mitch.  His fears are too insurmountable unless he were to get professional help.  The experts and the show producers should have seen him coming a MILE away.  Shame on them!  I am sorry but it's so obvious that either the experts are idiots or they don't pick these people at all.  Dr. Pepper in particular should know better.  I feel sorry for Krysten as I think she is ready for marriage and is willing to do whatever she can to make one work.  Unfortunately the better strategy with a guy like Mitch is not to act interested at all.  But playing head games is not Krysten's style.  She deserves better than that.

Another words he’s a beach bum who just came on the show for a few extra bucks and a nice vacation, go surfing and eating good food which he needs just looking at him.

[Yeah No]

8 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

Another words he’s a beach bum who just came on the show for a few extra bucks and a nice vacation, go surfing and eating good food which he needs just looking at him.

I don't see him as one of those.  Someone like Mitch actually longs for a relationship/marriage but know they can't do it themselves so when they get to be a certain age and desperate enough they think that's enough to make them stay committed, but unfortunately the same very deep fears that sabotaged every previous relationship don't go away and will continue to doom every relationship they have going forward.  They think that being desperate enough and being "forced" into marriage will "fix" the problem but it doesn't work that way.  They have to work on their fears before they can stop their self defeating pattern.  And Mitch is nowhere near that. 

It's either that or he felt pressured by peers or family to finally "settle down" and figured doing this show was a way to get them off his back and "show" them that he is ready for marriage.  But he is NOT.

[Retired at last]

1 hour ago, Empress1 said:

He wore flip flops to the After Party.

I will comment on that thread, but those were NOT just flip flops. Those were kind of cute women's sandals!!! I was so distracted by that, I could hardly pay attention.

[Yeah No]

52 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

I thought she said sex OR “I love you.” Her point, I think, is that she wants confirmation that he’s into her romantically, but sex in particular won’t necessarily do that. It’s entirely possible to have sex with someone you don’t like that much. He could also tell her he loves her and not mean it but to be fair to him, I don’t think he would.

It’s also not necessarily a bad sign if he’s not in love with her after 8 weeks. SHE might not be in love with HIM after 8 weeks. But I do think it’s a bad sign if you don’t want to have some kind of sex with someone you’ve seen and shared a bed with for 8 weeks - if that hasn’t happened by then, it’s unlikely to. 8 weeks is plenty of time to know if you’re physically attracted to someone.

Saying "OR" "I love you" is even worse.  Because now he can even have sex with her but still have an escape hatch if he doesn't say "I love you".  But his big issue is attraction and I don't see that changing any time soon.  Even if he has sex with her he's going to claim it was motivated by his "manly needs" and NOT attraction.  Men usually know at first sight whether they are attracted to a woman.  I have NEVER known of any man that was so decidedly not attracted to a woman right away that he would make such a statement that would later suddenly found her attractive "that way".  And given that this has been an issue on this show many times I have checked with my male friends on this and been assured that my perceptions are correct as is having sex with a woman not necessarily a sign that a man finds her physically attractive.  Plus, we have never seen any man on this show that was public about not being into his wife physically in the beginning change on that later on.  It's the death knell for any male/female relationship.

[Retired at last]

13 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

Remember Dionna (sp?) hating compliments from Greg?

That's how Alexis is with Justin. She gets so uncomfortable when he says nice things. These women are all messes and it is no wonder they have not been able to find their own mates. I don't know if Justin will be as patient as Gregg was. 

Miguel will have to let Lindy work through her religious upbringing and feelings of guilt. I am glad she feels comfortable talking to him, but some of those things she needs to work through herself - quietly. He is still cute to me, and would seem like he would be a good husband if she is ready to make a real commitment.

Edited August 4, 2022 by Retired at last

[Empress1]

17 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

having sex with a woman not necessarily a sign that a man finds her physically attractive.

Yep, I said as much, and this isn’t unique to men. Sometimes sex is just a means to an end. You can have sex for many reasons and a lot of them have nothing to do with love and/or attraction. I mean, Mitch and Krysten fooled around hours after he told her he wasn’t very attracted to her so clearly he’s capable of doing physical stuff with someone he’s not attracted to, and he’s not unique or unusual in that regard.

17 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

Because now he can even have sex with her but still have an escape hatch if he doesn't say "I love you"

I interpreted Krysten’s comment as, “if we have sex or you tell me you love me between now and the day before Decision Day, I will say yes on Decision Day. If neither of those things has happened, I will say no.” Her logic being (and I think she’s right) that if neither of those things has happened by then he’s not into her and won’t be so there’s no need to waste more time. So if they have sex and he still hasn’t said he loves her, she’ll be in. If he says he loves her between now and then but they haven’t had sex, she’ll be in. 

Edited August 4, 2022 by Empress1

[Yeah No]

20 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

Yep, I said as much, and this isn’t unique to men. Sometimes sex is just a means to an end. You can have sex for many reasons and a lot of them have nothing to do with love and/or attraction. I mean, Mitch and Krysten fooled around hours after he told her he wasn’t very attracted to her so clearly he’s capable of doing physical stuff with someone he’s not attracted to, and he’s not unique or unusual in that regard.

Unfortunately she is going to interpret his fooling around with her and even if he eventually has sex with her as some hope for the future of their relationship when it isn't necessarily the case.  Which is sad.  Because if he does have sex with her and she wants to say "yes" on decision day he might still say "no" based on his lack of attraction.  Which will frustrate her no end because she won't be able to wrap her mind around how he could have sex with her and still say that.  

24 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

I interpreted Krysten’s comment as, “if we have sex or you tell me you love me between now and the day before Decision Day, I will say yes on Decision Day. If neither of those things has happened, I will say no.” Her logic being (and I think she’s right) that if neither of those things has happened by then he’s not into her and won’t be so there’s no need to waste more time. So if they have sex and he still hasn’t said he loves her, she’ll be in. If he says he loves her between now and then but they haven’t had sex, she’ll be in. 

I understand Krysten's comment, but she is still giving him the roadmap for how to slither out of the marriage without having to be the one to say "no" on decision day.  All he has to do is have sex with her and not say "I love you" OR not have sex with her and say "I love you".  I don't see him doing the latter and maybe not even the former.  And even if he somehow has a "moment" and has sex with her he will find some other way to sabotage the relationship to make her say "no" on decision day.

[kristen111]

5 hours ago, brilliantbreakfast said:

Miguel is hedging his bets with Lindy. She looks like a fish out of water. I’m not sure how much she’s really distanced herself from her church upbringing. 

So Lindy is religious.  What does sex have to do with religion?  She already had sex with her ex boyfriend.  What’s her problem?  Have sex with whoever you want.  It’s your body.  Her Brother is talking shit to her and it’s none of his business.  Throw him off.

[Elizzikra]

Quote

Jeez, and wanting or not wanting kids is an easy one - it isn’t subjective like say “I don’t want someone who is too controlling”, as an example. It’s a black and white issue. It should be a simple matching filter. Ughhh, this show.

It wasn't black and white for me. All things being equal, I wanted kids. BUT - I didn't want to be a single mom (I have the utmost respect for single parents; I just lacked the fortitude to be one). I also didn't want to fall in love with someone who didn't want kids and have to give up the relationship if he didn't want children. I only wanted children if they made sense in the context of the relationship. I married late and had early menopause so when I found my lifetime partner, biological children were out of the question - but he had a daughter from a prior marriage and she is the light of my life. I wouldn't change anything. So I could sort of understand Morgan's position on children and I didn't necessarily get the impression that she was being talked into having kids because Binh wants them (though I'm not sure those two will make it much past the honeymoon anyway, for reasons having nothing to do with children). 

Quote

3. One couple where the guy has a history of running at the first warning sign with a girl who sends out boatloads of warning signs straight out of the gate -she is a walking example of “a lot” with her endless blather, mood swings, etc.  (Miguel and Lindy)

I thought Miguel was the guy who tended to stick around forever, even when there was enormous evidence that he should run far and fast from his partner? Does he run from the first warning sign? 

Quote

I would run if a man told me he loved me after three days. Alexis isn’t wrong.

I don't disagree - I sort of feels like Justin didn't understand the assignment. I feel like he is trying to parrot and embrace Pastor Cal's "grow in love" speech - and telling Alexis that he married here, thereby choosing to love her forever? Like it's his way of telling her that he takes the marriage seriously and intends for it to be lifelong? Only he's saying it really badly and I think that his understanding of Pastor Cal's philosophy is rudimentary at best. Honestly whenever Justin goes on and on about how great Alexis is, I feel like he's really trying to convince himself and maybe skip over the hard work of actually deciding whether or not he even likes, much less loves, her.

Quote

He's dealing with an escapee from extreme religion and doesn't get that she's still finding her way. (And her family doesn't help. That brother -- I mean,  yeah, he's gorgeous, but he's creepy af.)

He reminds me of Wyatt Langmore on Ozark. I think it's the hair.

[Yeah No]

3 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

So Lindy is religious.  What does sex have to do with religion?  She already had sex with her ex boyfriend.  What’s her problem?  Have sex with whoever you want.  It’s your body.  Her Brother is talking shit to her and it’s none of his business.  Throw him off.

Religious indoctrination about sex is hard to unlearn even if you leave the religion like Lindy has.  I know a lot of people that are sexually inhibited that are Roman Catholics, Protestants, etc. that aren't even especially religious.  It depends on how they were brought up and how much they were taught that sex was "dirty".    I think Lindy is probably affected by that good girl/bad girl thing where she feels that she needs to be in love and committed before sex is "right".  Otherwise it's dirty and somehow not right with God.  I don't even get the sense that she wants to be that way, but it will take some time for her to overcome it.  Hopefully not too long.  I think her chemistry with Miguel is off the charts so I don't think it will be that long before they have sex and she gets over her inhibitions.

[Retired at last]

I don't agree with Lindy that falling in love is a choice. You feel it or you don't. Making a commitment is a choice. If she thinks that, she should have been matched with Justin who said he said to himself at the altar that he was going to fall in love with Alexis. And he has.

[mythoughtis]

59 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

Yep, I said as much, and this isn’t unique to men. Sometimes sex is just a means to an end. You can have sex for many reasons and a lot of them have nothing to do with love and/or attraction. I mean, Mitch and Krysten fooled around hours after he told her he wasn’t very attracted to her so clearly he’s capable of doing physical stuff with someone he’s not attracted to, and he’s not unique or unusual in that regard.

I interpreted Krysten’s comment as, “if we have sex or you tell me you love me between now and the day before Decision Day, I will say yes on Decision Day. If neither of those things has happened, I will say no.” Her logic being (and I think she’s right) that if neither of those things has happened by then he’s not into her and won’t be so there’s no need to waste more time. So if they have sex and he still hasn’t said he loves her, she’ll be in. If he says he loves her between now and then but they haven’t had sex, she’ll be in. 

I do not think having sex and hearing I love you is Krysten’s bar for saying yes  on decision day.  Not having those things will be grounds for No- but she may have further requirements to say Yes.  Such as her own feelings about him, or knowledge of certain things about him that are still unknown. 
 

I think Krysten also feels that she wants to know how their sexual experiences would be before she says yes.  Miguel mentioned much the same about himself and Lindy.  As in, mediocre sex is not something  he is willing to settle for in a life long partner.  The fallacy in that discussion is that sex is often affected by factors such as health and  stress and can change over the course of a marriage. 

Edited August 4, 2022 by mythoughtis

[kristen111]

51 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

Religious indoctrination about sex is hard to unlearn even if you leave the religion like Lindy has.  I know a lot of people that are sexually inhibited that are Roman Catholics, Protestants, etc. that aren't even especially religious.  It depends on how they were brought up and how much they were taught that sex was "dirty".    I think Lindy is probably affected by that good girl/bad girl thing where she feels that she needs to be in love and committed before sex is "right".  Otherwise it's dirty and somehow not right with God.  I don't even get the sense that she wants to be that way, but it will take some time for her to overcome it.  Hopefully not too long.  I think her chemistry with Miguel is off the charts so I don't think it will be that long before they have sex and she gets over her inhibitions.

I was brought up Roman Catholic and chose to not have sex before marriage.  It wasn’t because I was afraid of God.. it was because I was afraid of my Mother, lol.  Damn, what a dope I was missing out, but we did ok.  You don’t know much when you’re twenty.   Besides, sex was never spoken about in my childhood home.  My Mother was matched with my Father, and I don’t think there was love there.  Respect, but not love.  I only equate sex with love, as I know no other, and it was great while it lasted.  Getting old sucks.  If only I could be twenty again.

Edited August 4, 2022 by kristen111

[Ilovepie]

53 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

So Lindy is religious.  What does sex have to do with religion?  She already had sex with her ex boyfriend.  What’s her problem?  Have sex with whoever you want.  It’s your body.  Her Brother is talking shit to her and it’s none of his business.  Throw him off.

Um, a lot when you are raised in a very strict and conservative Christian home as she has been. I was as well (not 7th Day Adventist though) and it messed me up. I think Lindy explained it pretty well that there is a lot of guilt and shame related to sex that is taught and indoctrinated when you are a teen especially. I know many are down on her, but I thought their discussions were good and both of them are being honest about where they are coming from. They also have a fun camaraderie that bodes well for them. I do think they are matched well looks-wise and I still hold out hope for them. But is "Boats and Hos" a real saying? What does that even mean??? I think Miguel is pretty sexy looking. I laughed when he said he wasn't opposed to mediocre sex. :-p

No hope for Mitch and Krysten. She is a boss and he doesn't deserve her and I hope when she dumps his ass he realizes what he lost.

Alexis is lying to herself. No way is she into Justin as much as she is saying she is. He is too much. I cannot believe she went horseback riding braless! And I hope those boob cutouts on her dinner outfit provided some ventilation because it was long sleeved! In Mexico! I am getting hot just thinking about wearing long sleeves in PV.....I think she would have loved Olajuwon from last season.

Nate and Stacia seem well matched despite the money stuff. He caved on the post-nup pretty quick.

I had to FF through Bihn and Morgan - I know he had Covid, but dragging the weddings out this long, I just lost interest in them. They seem like a weird match, and by the previews, trouble is brewing....

[Empress1]

14 minutes ago, Ilovepie said:

And I hope those boob cutouts on her dinner outfit provided some ventilation because it was long sleeved! In Mexico! I am getting hot just thinking about wearing long sleeves in PV

How about Stacia’s long-sleeved catsuit and thigh-high boots?! 

[Yeah No]

4 minutes ago, Ilovepie said:

Um, a lot when you are raised in a very strict and conservative Christian home as she has been. I was as well (not 7th Day Adventist though) and it messed me up. I think Lindy explained it pretty well that there is a lot of guilt and shame related to sex that is taught and indoctrinated when you are a teen especially. I know many are down on her, but I thought their discussions were good and both of them are being honest about where they are coming from. They also have a fun camaraderie that bodes well for them. I do think they are matched well looks-wise and I still hold out hope for them. But is "Boats and Hos" a real saying? What does that even mean??? I think Miguel is pretty sexy looking. I laughed when he said he wasn't opposed to mediocre sex. :-p

No hope for Mitch and Krysten. She is a boss and he doesn't deserve her and I hope when she dumps his ass he realizes what he lost.

Alexis is lying to herself. No way is she into Justin as much as she is saying she is. He is too much. I cannot believe she went horseback riding braless! And I hope those boob cutouts on her dinner outfit provided some ventilation because it was long sleeved! In Mexico! I am getting hot just thinking about wearing long sleeves in PV.....I think she would have loved Olajuwon from last season.

Nate and Stacia seem well matched despite the money stuff. He caved on the post-nup pretty quick.

I had to FF through Bihn and Morgan - I know he had Covid, but dragging the weddings out this long, I just lost interest in them. They seem like a weird match, and by the previews, trouble is brewing....

Agreed on all counts!  Miguel is hot, and I think Lindy is taken with him and very attractive herself so I'm predicting that the guilt and shame will go out the window very soon, LOL.  If he sat on my backside like that and gave me a massage it would be all over, LOL .

Mitch has probably lost or dumped a lot of decent women in his time and from the looks of him I doubt he will ever realize what he lost.  He likes to think he just hasn't found the right one yet when the problem is HIM.

Also In total agreement about Alexis.  Her side glances give her away as not being that into Justin, especially after using the "L" word on day 3 or 4.  It just shows him to be immature and premature.  I think that was a turn-off for her and I don't blame her.  I think a guy that said that so soon is immature and perhaps desperate.  At least keep quiet until the timing is right and you know it will be received well.  He already looks like an overgrown kid dressing in an adult costume and now he's acting like a kid.  It's no wonder his brother came down on him when he heard he was getting married.

Clinton Kelly from WNTW would have called those cutouts on Alexis' top a "boob window", LOL 😉

Nate's micro-expressions gave him away as being a little miffed at being asked to sing a post-nup.  But he caved quickly because he's very into Stacia.  I didn't like the way he said, "You don't trust your boy?"  Come on, Nate, be mature about this.  I don't blame her for asking him to sign it.  He should know better.

Also agreed about Morgan and Binh.  The clock is ticking for them and trouble is ahead.

[Rightside]

I'm fast forwarding this season so much and it just started.

Mitch and Krysten are really the only couple I'm watching. Why can't he just start out as friends with her?

[Empress1]

26 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

didn't like the way he said, "You don't trust your boy?"

I’d totally have said “no, I don’t. I met you two days ago.” They should all have pre- or post-nups.

[Lindz]

How can Lindy say love is a choice then say she's trying to fall in love? Nah. It should be grow in love. 🥴

[Lindz]

I knew Nate was gunna leave Stacia. He's lucky he wasn't injured being stupid, not securing his helmet & recording himself. Dummy. The insta stuff was surprising because he's ugly. Who would want to look at him? Focus on your wife. I think ATVs are a bad activity. With a guy like that, it's not something that bonds them.

[Ilovepie]

14 minutes ago, Lindz said:

How can Lindy say love is a choice then say she's trying to fall in love? Nah. It should be grow in love. 🥴

I agree and disagree with Lindy here. There has to be some chemistry and attraction at the beginning or it's not going to last long, but down the road when it's not shiny and new anymore there is a choice to be made. And when hard times come, it's definitely a choice. But with your stranger spouse on a tv show? No way! There has to be some spark to get the relationship going in the first place!

55 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

Clinton Kelly from WNTW would have called those cutouts on Alexis' top a "boob window", LOL 😉

Boob window! Bwah ha ha!!!!! How I miss WNTW!!!!!!

[glitterpussy]

4 hours ago, kristen111 said:

He wore flip flops to the After Party

 It's a total joke in San Diego that we have a flip flop wardrobe for every occasion :)  My Rainbows are for the beach, my birks are for "fancy", my worn-out Rainbows are for the backyard, etc. I'm a lawyer and I'm wearing birks at the office right now. I even have a shearling pair for "winter." 😂

None of this to excuse anything Mitch does, he's an ass.

[Retired at last]

1 hour ago, Yeah No said:

Also In total agreement about Alexis.  Her side glances give her away as not being that into Justin, especially after using the "L" word on day 3 or 4.  It just shows him to be immature and premature. 

That sounds like Noi and Steve from last season when she was upset that he didn't say it after about 2 hours, or whenever she popped that out. And, yes, she proved herself to be incredibly immature.

[seacliffsal]

Regarding Lindy and sex-(I'm not a Seventh Day Adventist so there may be teachings with which I am unfamiliar), the teachings about sex while she was growing up would have connected sex with marriage (i.e. wait until marriage).  If so, she should feel/think that since she and Miguel are married, she should have sex should she want it.  The same thing about Iris several seasons ago-she said she wanted to wait until she was married but once she was married she wanted to wait longer.  Although I think participants are really misguided about how this show/marriage will work out for them, the fact that they are legally married should allow for them to have sex based on their religious and personal ideas.  What we are actually seeing is people who have deep issues unrelated to their religious upbringings.  Lindy had premarital sex with the boyfriend she spoke about and lived with, so there is probably something else going on with her.

[Elizzikra]

Quote

Lindy had premarital sex with the boyfriend she spoke about and lived with, so there is probably something else going on with her.

Worth noting - she was engaged to the prior boyfriend. He wasn't "just" a boyfriend. For some religious people who are abstaining from sex until marriage, an engagement is tantamount to marriage. You've committed to it's ok to have sex. As Lindy (and countless others have shown us) engagement doesn't always lead to marriage though.

[kristen111]

57 minutes ago, Ilovepie said:

I agree and disagree with Lindy here. There has to be some chemistry and attraction at the beginning or it's not going to last long, but down the road when it's not shiny and new anymore there is a choice to be made. And when hard times come, it's definitely a choice. But with your stranger spouse on a tv show? No way! There has to be some spark to get the relationship going in the first place!

Boob window! Bwah ha ha!!!!! How I miss WNTW!!!!!!

I don’t believe in this Married at First Sight at all.  I do believe in Love at first sight tho, as my husband and I experienced that and are still married forever.  Just seeing and talking for awhile does wonders to go forward or not.

[Lindz]

I can't believe Krysten actually said, "If I don't get sex from you...by Decision Day." 😳🤮 I mean DAMN!!! & SO CRINGE!!! An ultimatum on the THIRD DAY?!!! At least wait until the sex talk with PC! Imagine a husband saying that! Oh wait. Michael & Gil did give similar ultimatums. It's unnecessary & uncalled for! Especially to say it LIKE THAT!! Can these people get some TACT?!!! & WAIT until a few weeks in, AT LEAST, to express hopes & needs in that department. 🥴🤨

Edited August 5, 2022 by Lindz

[Lindz]

Miguel is grossing me out. He keeps trying for sex, like CHILL!!! I'm sure an ultimatum is just below the surface. He's sneaky & I knew he was up to no good with that massage. Ew. Again. I'm grossed out. Throw in Binh & his talk & what Justin said last episode being in the recap. 🤮 I thought that Binh part was gunna be in a later episode, but no. I can't. It's too much!!!

[Lindz]

I was worried they wouldn't include Binh & Morgan on the Honeymoon. Glad they finally caught them up with everybody. If they'd missed their flight they probably wouldn't have. 🥴🤪

[Ilovepie]

22 minutes ago, Lindz said:

I can't believe Krysten actually said, "If I don't get sex from you...by Decision Day." 😳🤮 I mean DAMN!!! & SO CRINGE!!! An ultimatum on the THIRD DAY?!!! At least wait until the sex talk with PC! Imagine a husband saying that! Oh wait. Michael & Gil did. It's unnecessary! Especially to say it LIKE THAT!! Can these people get some TACT?!!! & WAIT until a few weeks in, AT LEAST, to express hopes & needs in that department. 🥴🤨

I have zero problem with her laying it out like that after he told her that he wasn't attracted to her. If his policy is total honesty, she can do it too.

[Ilovepie]

5 hours ago, Empress1 said:

It’s also not necessarily a bad sign if he’s not in love with her after 8 weeks. SHE might not be in love with HIM after 8 weeks. But I do think it’s a bad sign if you don’t want to have some kind of sex with someone you’ve seen and shared a bed with for 8 weeks - if that hasn’t happened by then, it’s unlikely to. 8 weeks is plenty of time to know if you’re physically attracted to someone.

Agree - anyone remember Danielle and Cody? They chose to stay together even though there was no sex in the entire experiment and she seemed ambivalent. She kept trying to "get there". They got divorced. Other than Jamie and Doug - are there any couples that stayed married on DD without having already had sex?

[Crashcourse]

11 minutes ago, Ilovepie said:

I have zero problem with her laying it out like that after he told her that he wasn't attracted to her. If his policy is total honesty, she can do it too.

Yes, I like the fact that they both laid out their feelings, yet there doesn't seem to be any animosity between them.  So far, they're my favorite "couple." She's handling him not being attracted to her quite well.  No histrionics.  He's acknowledged his hangups and shortcomings, and I think he knows he's no prize.   I just hope going forward they can just enjoy the ride and be nice to each other until decision day.

[Lindz]

A lot to unpack with the Justin/Alexis dinner. It was okay until after Justin said he loved her, which she egged on & then freaked out after he said it. If you aren't ready for the answer, DON'T ASK! She was good at saying feelings are difficult to express, but then explain why you want to run away. Same for Justin, WHY ARE YOU CRYING??? Not, "Are you okay? You sure?" HUH?!!! WTF?!!! Not, "You want me to say it back? I can't. I'm not willing to." WHAT?!!! You mean to tell me you couldn't think of ANY better way to say that?!! He asked how you felt about what he said & if you could see yourself falling in love with him. Answer the questions or say you're not comfortable getting into that. Damn. It was too soon for Justin to say that. Glad he took her laughing in his face so well. But seriously. Read the room. He knew she wasn't ready for all that. Come on!

[Lindz]

WHY isn't Mitch attracted to Krysten??? I disagree with her rejecting that & saying his actions say otherwise. Why would a guy lie about that? He might like her personality & their conversations & stuff, but that doesn't mean he likes her more than that. Idk. I don't get it. Then he was down to do it. Ew. Good on her for stopping it. Is he seriously using alcohol as an excuse or a what? I'm uncomfortable watching them. I don't like the way she words her demands. I don't like him dumping his "lack of attraction" in her lap like that. There was a better way to discuss that & it's like that's all he focused on leading up to it instead of thinking of how to build attraction & give it a chance.

[Kimboweena]

3 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

But is "Boats and Hos" a real saying? What does that even mean???

It's from the movie Step Brothers. It's a hilarious movie!

Edited August 4, 2022 by Kimboweena
Removed pic, too big.

[Empress1]

42 minutes ago, Ilovepie said:

Other than Jamie and Doug - are there any couples that stayed married on DD without having already had sex?

Michael and Jasmina, and they should have broken up (they broke up later). I don’t think they even kissed on the mouth in 8 weeks. Did Erik and Virginia have sex in the 8 weeks?

[DrewPaul2010]

Quote

It really pisses me off that Mitch was put on this show in the first place.  He has limited relationship experience because he obviously soon finds fault with any woman, and that's why he's still single.  He is so afraid of commitment that he finds an excuse to get out of everything.  It's really not hard to believe that someone like Mitch would get married at first sight.  In their heart of hearts commitmentphobes want to be in a long term relationship but know they can't do it on their own, so they figure forcing themselves into it might do the trick.  Well, even that doesn't work with someone like Mitch.  His fears are too insurmountable unless he were to get professional help. 

He seemed genuinely conflicted about the situation unless he missed his calling as an actor. Secondly its not an entirely unexpected event that some are not going to be attracted at least not right away. We have seen how some other couples have handled it like Alyssa (the eye dauber) of last season. Some guys handled it by resenting or ignoring the person they're with. In comparison he told her what was up with him knowing it would be a hurtful thing. He convinced me he is concerned about her feelings. I have more hope for the couple then I did before.

He might be unsure of his own place in the scheme of things. He might be afraid to fall in love...

[DrewPaul2010]

Quote

I asked my husband how many guys would get aroused straddling their spouse like that and what if they got an erection? I'd think it would be pretty embarrassing. 

When I was a young man it was an embarrassing situation to become aroused like that. Now as an older man I appreciate the fact I can still get an erection (when appropriate).

[DrewPaul2010]

Quote

I interpreted Krysten’s comment as, “if we have sex or you tell me you love me between now and the day before Decision Day, I will say yes on Decision Day. If neither of those things has happened, I will say no.” Her logic being (and I think she’s right) that if neither of those things has happened by then he’s not into her and won’t be so there’s no need to waste more time. So if they have sex and he still hasn’t said he loves her, she’ll be in. If he says he loves her between now and then but they haven’t had sex, she’ll be in. 

I understood it that way also, it was a rash statement. That seems like a low bar to commit living together. At least he doesn't have to worry about being rejected.

[After7Only]

5 hours ago, Empress1 said:

I’d totally have said “no, I don’t. I met you two days ago.” They should all have pre- or post-nups.

I assumed some type of pre-nup was part of the contract for the show.  I can’t imagine marrying a stranger, without protecting your assets first.   Kinda surprised this is the first time a pre/post nup has come up on the show.   

[Lindz]

I'm shocked Stacia's changing her last name & even more shocked she said she won't change it back. Uh. What about remarrying? Why be tied to your previous husband like that? Especially if they don't have kids. It's strange. How do you explain that to men you date after? Maybe don't change your name until after the reunion or after the 1st year. 🥴😅

[Retired at last]

3 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

Other than Jamie and Doug - are there any couples that stayed married on DD without having already had sex?

Gregg and Donna? I don't even know if they had kissed by Decision Day!

Re: Krysten's ultimatum: I don't think she meant that if they had sex or he said he loved her that she would definitely say yes - she might realize he is an ass. But, if they hadn't gotten that far, she would definitely be out.

Edited August 5, 2022 by Retired at last