S05.E13 : There's No Fear In Love

[Pepper Mostly]

17 hours ago, FrancescaFiore said:

Meanwhile, I guess this was *also* God's plan. 

<whispering wind> looooooooserrrrrrr

I wonder if he ssid "JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL"? 

 

[Gobi]

40 minutes ago, Pepper Mostly said:

I wonder if he ssid "JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL"? 

 

How Would Jesus Drive Drunk?

[FrancescaFiore]

13 hours ago, SemiCharmedLife said:

Ben definitely looks "half drunk" in his mug shot.  😉

And it's easy to see which half!

[lilysmom]

14 hours ago, Grifter Lives said:

P.S.: I'm a proud Pittsburgher, and I'd rip out my tongue before I would ever say, "Yinz."

Me, too!! 😀

[Auntie Anxiety]

Buried Lede: Ben was driving on a suspended license. What happened BEFORE the DUEye to get his license suspended? Enquiring minds want to know.

[Xebug67]

On 3/14/2022 at 9:39 AM, MrBuhBye said:

Yeah but it seems to be a group that wouldn’t be well represented in Idaho.

I thought the thing that she picked looked like an Evel Knievel Halloween costume.

Absolutely brilliant observation.

But really, is anything ever going to actually look good on her?  Rhetorical comment there.  She's got the same type of dumpy, frumply, matronly body as Darcey and Stacey, only Memphis is a lot chunkier.  It's funny.  Besides having the same top-heavy, unattractive figure as them, Memphis also has the cheap, disgusting weave/wig going for her as well.

On a side note, what do all these weave/wig-wearing women do if the man they're with suddenly wants to run his fingers through their hair?  I literally vomited in my own mouth at the thought of ANYONE wanting to run their fingers through Memphis' greasy, probably nasty smelling hair.

[CruiseDiva]

40 minutes ago, Xebug67 said:

On a side note, what do all these weave/wig-wearing women do if the man they're with suddenly wants to run his fingers through their hair?  I literally vomited in my own mouth at the thought of ANYONE wanting to run their fingers through Memphis' greasy, probably nasty smelling hair.

I don't get it with the cheap looking skanky wig Memphis is wearing during the trip. In the talking heads she has on a shiny, nicely styled wig. You'd think she would want to look her best to meet Hamza and his family.

[Auntie Anxiety]

4 minutes ago, CruiseDiva said:

I don't get it with the cheap looking skanky wig Memphis is wearing during the trip. In the talking heads she has on a shiny, nicely styled wig. You'd think she would want to look her best to meet Hamza and his family.

MUA (in the former) vs. no MUA?

[CruiseDiva]

2 minutes ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

MUA (in the former) vs. no MUA?

What is MUA?

[Auntie Anxiety]

2 minutes ago, CruiseDiva said:

What is MUA?

Make up artist. (I learned that from Ben, when he was applying the glitter tanning lotion.)

[CruiseDiva]

1 minute ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

Make up artist. (I learned that from Ben, when he was applying the glitter tanning lotion.)

Thank you! Now I remember. 🤣

[Xebug67]

On 3/14/2022 at 12:56 PM, the-grey-lady said:

Wait a minute...Ella "didn't mean" to sleep with someone else?

Johnny is hurt and that hurts her?

She cheated on him and he ended up groveling to her?

Wow, she is just awful.

Haven't you ever "accidentally" fallen onto a penis while cuddling with a male friend?

[Breedom]

Ella should hide her head in shame. Ella's mom should hide her head in shame. Ella has announced to all of us how weak she is, caving in and "accidentally" having sex with her friend and then asking Johnny, "are you mad at me?" Good Gawd. Like she just ate the last cookie in the cookie jar. Not only that, she wants what she wants, period. Ella is kicking up such a storm because she probably always got what she wanted with no effort, and here Johnny isn't going along with what the queen wants. Who cares if she puts the "love of her life" in jeopardy?  What a piece of work. I don't have an ounce of compassion for her.

Kim, move on. You had a make-believe relationship with someone who only thought of you as a friend, if that. You submerged yourself in his world when his feelings were never there for you. You were in a fairy-tale that you constructed, alone. Don't take it out on Usman. You put yourself in this position and now you have to deal with your hurt, humiliation and foolishness.  He never said he loved you and you showered him with expensive gives and probably spent your last dime on the hotel and the trip. You only have yourself to blame.

[judylo]

As much as I hate Ben, let’s not forget that Mahogs (or her real catfishing counterpart) got a $1,000 “loan” out of him. Is that how the kids flirt on text these days?

[Hotel Snarker]

Ben is so fucking cringe I cannot stand it. How does he manage (sober) to type up 10 pages of texts to someone who clearly doesn’t like him? He’s such a fucking loser. He acts like those cringe people who talk to you twice then profess their love for you. The ten pages of texts from him is psychotic behavior and the fact that he doesn’t realize it is legitimately scary.

You gotta give it to Ximena for being a hustler. She put out when she clearly didn’t want to and is absolutely repulsed by Mike when she saw that she would need to go back to working and paying for her own things again. She’s made it very clear she is not at all into him. Her body language and facial expressions give it away and Mike just can’t see the signs. He is either stupid or delusional.

Mike is a level of simp I can’t even fathom. He literally goes “okay” the second she says “let’s work this out”. At this point, I hope she drains every penny he has. Ximena literally said “what do you care” when Mike’s friend said “you are taking his money and don’t love him”.

Mike: I’m gonna be my own man. Also Mike: I’m gonna go back to Ximena’s after disingenuously threatening to sleep elsewhere.

So Ella admits to cheating on Johnny and the call ends with Ella crying and Johnny reassuring HER? The way Ella says “are you mad at me?” after telling Johnny that she cheated on him made my blood boil… My ears almost bled when she started screeching about how bad she felt. And the fact that Johnny partially blamed himself for her stupid actions broke my heart. Sigh.

This person that Ella cheated with…he is fictional, no? Johnny: “Oh look, its Ella's fupa drunk dialing me again.”

So, Gino seemed genuinely concerned about Jasmine looking at his emails. I can’t imagine that his first thought was “she’s going to find out I’ve been to Legoland”, so is there something else even more incriminating in there? I'm 1000% sure this ENTIRE thing is Gino's kink.

Jasmine trying to tell Gino how bad he makes her feel: "I looked so beautiful when we first met, with beautiful eyelashes. Now I look like trash." Gino: "So... you want to do something about your eyelashes today?" The guy just keeps misreading the situation. His not understanding the full magnitude of what he's done and how it could affect Jasmine's career really disgusts me. 

So what assets do you have? “I want to build a house some time in the future.” Not Memphis trying to secure assets she doesn’t yet have in a prenup 2 days before her wedding!

I stan Hamza's mother. She's lovely. Clearly wants the best for him. Totally different to Yazan's parents. Not trying to forcefully convert her, either. I think my favorite scene was when Hamza's mom was just sitting there with her arms crossed watching them eat breakfast. 

I really wish Hamza didn’t wanna marry her so bad, she doesn’t seem nurturing at all and that’s what he’s used to. He’s too nice for her, she’s gonna chew him up and spit him out.

Kimbaaaly is gross. I cannot get over how much she harassed him for sex. Usman sucks but good lord… Kim and Ben are both well into their 50s but have the psychologies of insecure middle schoolers.

It's really disturbing how much sex is being coerced out/used against of people this season. Alina mentioning that they hadn't had sex every 5 minutes after Caleb got off the plane. Kimbaaaly literally begging until Usman gave in. Mike threatening to leave if they don't sleep together. Ella punishing Johnny by cheating. Memphis saying if they don't have sex the wedding is off. Gino's revenge porn. The only one who hasn't yet on camera has 100% used biblical passages to coerce his ex-wife into sex.

This season is fun because my hubby and I have been like “the last episode has to be next week, right?” for the past 5 episodes and yet they somehow manage to keep squeezing content out of these relationships where no one is happy.

[1011101010001]

47 minutes ago, Breedom said:

Kim, move on. You had a make-believe relationship with someone who only thought of you as a friend, if that.

Friend = ATM

What middle-aged man with no kids takes a girlfriend to LegoLand?

[Auntie Anxiety]

2 hours ago, Hotel Snarker said:

Ben is so fucking cringe I cannot stand it. How does he manage (sober) to type up 10 pages of texts to someone who clearly doesn’t like him?

Ben thought that if he “explained” himself long enough in that screed 10 pages of text, Hogs would come to her senses and realize what a great catch he is. Somehow, in Ben’s mind, brow-beating = convincing. 

2 hours ago, Breedom said:

Kim, move on. You had a make-believe relationship with someone who only thought of you as a friend, if that.

I’ve had a deeper relationship with numerous tv boyfriends than Kimbelly had with Usman. She needs to read up on the definition of “potential.”

Edited March 16, 2022 by Auntie Anxiety

[magemaud]

5 hours ago, CruiseDiva said:

I don't get it with the cheap looking skanky wig Memphis is wearing during the trip. In the talking heads she has on a shiny, nicely styled wig.

I think it's the same wig, only washed and curled for her THs. 

[1011101010001]

 

[FrancescaFiore]

7 hours ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

Buried Lede: Ben was driving on a suspended license. What happened BEFORE the DUEye to get his license suspended? Enquiring minds want to know

Very likely prior drunk driving offenses.  You don't get a $10,000 bond on your 1st offense.

[magemaud]

So, let me get this straight, despite Mahogany telling Ben NOT to come to Peru, he travels there anyway. Then he’s devastated she’s not at the airport to meet him and he texts her again with no response. The next day he travels to her home town-uninvited-and demands she meet him at a restaurant where she finally shows up. Next he demands to see where she lives and meet her parents and her friends. Finally, he isolates her from all the people who are advising her of their concerns about him and when she asks him some hard questions about his past relationships, he gets angry and spends the night texting her pages of religious mumbo jumbo and when they get no response he boycotts breakfast the next day. When he learns her parents are there, his next demand is to meet with them privately like some kind of hostage negotiator. He grew up in a religious cult and appears to be trying to use their indoctrination techniques on her, but he claims GOD has “hardened her heart against him.” Gee, maybe God knows what He’s doing and is protecting Mahogany from this creep?

Edited March 17, 2022 by magemaud

[Pepper Mostly]

4 hours ago, magemaud said:

When he learns her parents are there, his next demand is to meet with them privately like some kind of hostage negotiator.

THIS sent me right around the bend. He thinks her PARENTS are going to agree to this? Does he really think that he can win her parents over? That they'll agree to hand over their daughter like she's a chair or a spoon? (I can just imagine him thinking "once I can get them alone, away from their silly daughter who doesn't know what's best for her and, most important, what JESUS wants, I can use my super godly powers of persuasion and the coercion skills I've learned well as a 'youth pastor' to help them see that this is what Jesus wants!"). He swanned in uninvited and thinks they'll all just blindly obey him! Gah I cannot stand him.  

[Stuckathome]

18 minutes ago, Pepper Mostly said:

THIS sent me right around the bend. He thinks her PARENTS are going to agree to this?

Or he thinks that he can show them the texts from the past 3 months and say "see, she told me she wanted to marry me and have a family with me." as if then they will say, "oh, well hijita, you DID promise him---go, God bless you and marry her" lol

[Mr. Miner]

17 hours ago, Breedom said:

Ella should hide her head in shame. Ella's mom should hide her head in shame. Ella has announced to all of us how weak she is, caving in and "accidentally" having sex with her friend and then asking Johnny, "are you mad at me?" Good Gawd. Like she just ate the last cookie in the cookie jar.

It looks like she may have eaten the guy after she fell on his penis.

[magemaud]

Maybe Ben reading his “Runaway Train” story to Mahogany's parents will convince them of his sincerity  

[1011101010001]

56 minutes ago, magemaud said:

Maybe Ben reading his “Runaway Train” story to Mahogany's parents will convince them of his sincerity  

He’s the little engine that couldn’t.

[magemaud]

3 hours ago, Stuckathome said:

Or he thinks that he can show them the texts from the past 3 months and say "see, she told me she wanted to marry me and have a family with me."

Not to mention the $ 1,000 "down payment" he gave her! 

[Stuckathome]

Ben cracks me up with the seriousness of his tone when he is babbling on and on...about what a connection they had, etc and in this episode it was when he just kept repeating, "there is no fear in love, there is no fear in love." Yeah, he is still in a cult---of his own creation. What a creeper! 

[gaPeach]

Quote

Ella should hide her head in shame. Ella's mom should hide her head in shame. Ella has announced to all of us how weak she is, caving in and "accidentally" having sex with her friend and then asking Johnny, "are you mad at me?" Good Gawd. Like she just ate the last cookie in the cookie jar.

It looks like she may have eaten the guy after she fell on his penis.

HA!  This gave me quite the laugh.  My comment is "how can you tell"? 

[Polliwollidoodle]

I totally forgot about Ben giving Mahogz  $1,000. How did that come about or how did he explain that?

[magemaud]

18 hours ago, Polliwollidoodle said:

 

I totally forgot about Ben giving Mahogz  $1,000. How did that come about or how did he explain that?

 

I found a film clip: When Ben told his friends that he was going to Peru, one asked if he had ever sent Mahogany any money. Ben replied that she had asked him to “loan her $1,000” so he did. The skeptical couple told him that he shouldn’t have given her money but he stressed it was okay because it was a LOAN. 

(I see this “gift or loan” controversy all the time on Judge Judy! I doubt if he had a written contract)

Edited March 18, 2022 by magemaud

[heatherchandler]

On 3/13/2022 at 11:44 PM, AR Traveler said:

The ex-fiancee was the 27 year old.  I think he's been stalking Mahogany for only three months or so.

Right but did he ever actually meet the "ex-finacee," or was it all only over the phone?

[1011101010001]

10 minutes ago, heatherchandler said:

Right but did he ever actually meet the "ex-finacee," or was it all only over the phone?

There is stuff in the couples thread, including a pic together and a joint FB account with hyphenated names.

[magemaud]

I'm so curious to see how Ben's face to face meeting will go-using his three months of Duolingo-with Mahogany's non-English speaking parents without her there to translate. I guess he will rely on his handy dandy new translation app. "Tell me something about Mahogany that I should know about as her new boyfriend..." 

Muy gracias! 

[mmecorday]

Quote

Ella needs therapy. BAD. And Doctor Now.

Can't you picture her in Dr. Paradise's office??? Like a Cabbage Patch Kid next to one of those Fisher Price Little People.

[magemaud]

4 hours ago, mmecorday said:

Can't you picture her in Dr. Paradise's office??? Like a Cabbage Patch Kid next to one of those Fisher Price Little People.

Dr. Paradise is used to being dwarfed by even larger patients. I'm imagining her having some kind of counseling session with Nurse Practitioner Memphis where they trade stories about the difficulties of having Big Boobies Sexy Time with their foreign boyfriends. 

Edited March 18, 2022 by magemaud

[HelloOutThere]

All I have to add to all the great comments is I have a new love for the phrase “SAFE FLIGHT”! 🙌