S13.E11: Caution: Feelings Approaching

[Emma Snyder]

Quote

Having reached their one-month milestone, love is growing for some, but one husband is fed up with his wife's lies. Meanwhile, an unforeseen death alters the course of another couple's journey.

Airs Wednesday, Sep 29th at 8:00PM EDT

As usual, this is a spoiler-free topic. If it did not yet happen, please do not discuss.

[Kiss my mutt]

New phone, who dis?

Michaela is off the a good start plopping down during a salsa dancing class and refusing to participate.  She just “didn’t want to do it”, but Gil is calling her out.  Not sure how Zach or anyone else can work with that. 

Edited September 30, 2021 by Kiss my mutt

[Crashcourse]

Gil thinks he knows soooooo much about relationships. 🙄  I think he's shooting for Kevin Frazier's or Pastor Cal's job.  

[LennieBriscoe]

Gil and Myrla! Who knew?! I think they exemplified the sassy definition of dancing: "The vertical expression of a horizontal desire." 🥰

Here's  what I'd like to see of them:

 

Edited September 30, 2021 by LennieBriscoe

[Crashcourse]

I don't even understand Johnny and Bao and it's painful watching them.

I still think Gil and Myrla are putting on an act. 

[Kiss my mutt]

I can totally see where Johnny is coming from with the baby girly type talk. It’s unsettling and creepy when she was saying, “then touch me, touch me”. I think that’s a positive that that turns him off. I can understand wanting Johnny to initiative affection, though. 

[Kira53]

Michaela is self destructive isn’t she?  Her instincts are all wrong.  I’m sure I’ll see worst than not continuing to try to learn Salsa and dance with the man she want to see a future with her.

[LennieBriscoe]

5 minutes ago, Kira53 said:

Michaela is self destructive isn’t she?  Her instincts are all wrong.  I’m sure I’ll see worst than not continuing to try to learn Salsa and dance with the man she want to see a future with her.

I don't know why Michaela thinks that being chipper in her uncooperativeness makes it palatable. It was not a good look, especially  when added to her other bouts of non-participation. 

[Crashcourse]

All of these couples are boring and depressing.

And now poor Baxter's gone. 😢

[Crashcourse]

And Gil and Myrla are hella annoying.  Shut up, Gil. 

[Kira53]

Please stop casting people who say they have never been in love.  

[Kiss my mutt]

Poor Ryan, he’s just done but he doesn’t want to hurt her especially after losing Baxter. 

[LennieBriscoe]

9 minutes ago, Kiss my mutt said:

Poor Ryan, he’s just done but he doesn’t want to hurt her especially after losing Baxter. 

Each husband  should  look in the mirror  and ask, "Mirror, mirror, if I'm so great, why wasn't  I married before?" 

Edited September 30, 2021 by LennieBriscoe

[Straycat80]

Johnny looks like he’s doing a slow boil. They both act like they are convincing themselves into be happy with each other and they are not even close. 

Edited September 30, 2021 by Straycat80

[Kiss my mutt]

Bao doesn’t have a good read on johnny at all. It’s uncomfortable to watch and I’m cringing with him. 

[Crashcourse]

5 minutes ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Each husband  should  look in the mirror  and ask, "Mirror, mirror, if I'm so great, why wasn't  I married before?" 

I think each wife should, too.  

[Kiss my mutt]

Jose is trolling me with that outfit. 

[Cancun]

All of these dates with the deep talks while eating…I end up watching them chew and chew, or try to pack their cheek so they can talk, then clear teeth with tongue. Ugh, it’s creating second hand stress! If it were me, I’d have the talk first, then dig in when the cameras were gone!

[LennieBriscoe]

12 minutes ago, Crashcourse said:

I think each wife should, too.  

Maybe so, but it seems to me the husbands are doing the most rejecting, griping, nit-picking, and judging.

For example, has anyone thought to ask if Ryan is truly Brett's "type"? No; it's always "Well, he's  being nice, but she's not his type."

And "Bao does act kiddish sometimes." Not "Johnny immaturely thinks his Hentai sex comics should be his marriage."

Or nag Gil about his possessions, not that we've been given the Grand Tour of them like with Myrla's.  

J/S.

 

[mythoughtis]

Johnny gets in his own way,  Bao’s giddiness might not be his cup of tea, but no one is perfect. It’s not dangerous. Not immoral. Illegal, or unethical. He’s got lots and I do mean lots of flaws and blind spots of his own 

 

Ryans wedding video was sweet. 

Edited September 30, 2021 by mythoughtis

[Kira53]

I want Gil to take Jamie Otis’s job.  He’d ask good questions and not accept bull.  He’ll be smiling the whole time.  He doesn’t talk in circles he is pretty straight forward.  

P.S.  Myrla loves being called a Princess.  That is one of her goals in life - to be perceived to be very special.  Gil is catering to her ego.

 

[Jax7917]

When Gil and Myrla are the strongest couple at the moment , that’s when you know you’re in the twilight zone . 

[Crashcourse]

Now I think it's pretty clear why Gil couldn't find a mate before MAFS.  He probably showed up on dates wearing those white pants. 🤣 

[Adeejay]

I am not buying what Gil and Myrla are selling. I believe they have an agreement to keep it cordial and have a good time until D-Day.  

I don't know what to make of Bao and Johnny.  They are giving me whiplash.  Every time I think they are on the right road, something happens to make them veer left.

I wonder what type of woman Ryan normally dates.  Brett seems nice and kind.  I feel for her, because she is in for a world of hurt.  

 

[Kiss my mutt]

I don’t think the ideal woman for Ryan or Johnny exists and if they were ideal, I doubt they’d be interested in them. 
I hope Brett finds someone to pour out all her love to that loves her back as much. I don’t see Ryan getting there. 

[buttersister]

What was that? Besides sad and boring.

RIP, Baxter. And Brett's marriage. It makes me sad for her that she's holding out hope that Mr. Cold Fish, respectful that he is, will flip and start loving her. I don't think he has it in him. She's not what he's used to dating and what he's used to dating isn't marrying him (the tell being that by the time he comes around, they've moved on). I wonder if he told the previous women in his life that he was trying so hard to grow feelings for them--cause after listening to that for some time, I'd move on, too.

Can the Johnny and Bao Show be over? I no longer care which one of them is to blame, there was a reason they never dated before and since this is, in reality, one long date, it's not going anywhere.

I refuse to deal with Rachel and Jose. It doesn't matter to me if that blow up with 100% real or manipulated. Bleep the bleep out of here--our shared space, deadbolts thrown, no concern for her well-being and WTF, what he did afterwards wasn't bad communication. It was sociopathic. I also don't gaf about M + Z.

Gil and Myrla, otoh, a perfectly entertaining. Not staying married or anything, but a relief from the rest of them.

 

[mythoughtis]

Having now gotten to the end of the show, I was disappointed in Bao and her lie about cooking. And it was a lie.  She told her friend that she had only cooked once.  Why did she do that?  She could  have just said we are struggling and left it at that. 

[Kiss my mutt]

Fun fact-Johnny said Bao likes to have sex several times a day

#Unfiltered

 

[FrankieTankie]

Myrla has to be the most boring person in the world … why would anyone want to marry her… all she does is complain and wants to constantly be treated like she belongs on a pedestal …. Gil is annoying AF but damn he looks away better  companion compared to Debbie downer myrla 

Edited September 30, 2021 by FrankieTankie

[Meowwww]

I love Myrla and Gil.  She seems like she is complaining but it’s cute kind of.  Gil likes calling her out.  Maybe they are playing  for the cameras but I like them together. 
Michaela and Zach can be done any minute.  She’s scary. 

[thatsall]

Myrla and Gil's dynamic makes sense, in a twisted way. He can't possibly love that she massively outearns him. How would someone potentially balance that power dynamic? By finding things to nitpick about his partner, and doing so...on camera, in a "She may outearn me, but  she's a PITA and I'm generous enough to put up with it."  kind of way. Myrla acknowledged on Unfiltered that Gil picks at her, and she picks at *things* but does not pick at him (so far, this seems to be true); but I don't think Myrla minds it completely. Her PITA-ness sets her apart -- possibly only in her own mind -- as being particular and not down for just any crappy restaurant/hotel/clothing/coffee creamer, an image of herself she cultivates and encourages. Gil's picking at that reinforces it for all of us to know. Seems pretty symbiotic to me.

Zach may have come off as overly emotional in prior episodes, but who could deal with a hot-and-cold partner? You'd never know where you or your relationship stood. Her abruptly sitting down during their dance lesson was her right, but it has consequences. Her flipping out when Zach left the apartment when he returned from Florida was also her right, and it had consequences. She doesn't seem to see her own pattern, but Zach sees it clearly. Emotional or not, I wouldn't blame him for running for the hills. A partner can work with vanilla more than they can work with unpredictable extremes.

Sometimes when I watch Johnny and Bao's interactions I think that Bao is the more stable of the two and Johnny is winging it out in left field. Other times I think the exact opposite. I can't see these two working in the long-run. They're both rigid and unpleasable. 

Edited September 30, 2021 by thatsall

[mythoughtis]

37 minutes ago, Meowwww said:

Michaela and Zach can be done any minute.  She’s scary

Yes, she is.  The looks she gave Gil at the end of the salsa  lesson were scary too. 
I don’t understand why Zach keeps spending time with her and keeps saying he likes her for her. Because he’s terrified of her. 
Three of these couples are like yo-yos with their emotions.  Johnny was crying one episode, having sex with Bao the next, and tonight’s episode he’s back to pretty much hating her. Rachel and Jose bounced from high  to low in one episode and back to high in the next. 
Ryan may not have feelings for Brett, but he’s willing to go the eight weeks and be polite and honest during it.  Gil is giving it the eight weeks. Even though Myrla likes him, I don’t think she’s willing to make the financial compromise involved in marrying someone with less income than her.  But she’s at least not threatening him. 

Edited September 30, 2021 by mythoughtis

[Meowwww]

Johnny is a mess.  

20 minutes ago, mythoughtis said:

Yes, she is.  The looks she gave Gil at the end of the salsa  lesson were scary too. 
I don’t understand why Zach keeps spending time with her and keeps saying he likes her for her. Because he’s terrified of her. 
Three of these couples are like yo-yos with their emotions.  Johnny was crying one episode, having sex with Bao the next, and tonight’s episode he’s back to pretty much hating her. Rachel and Jose bounced from high  to low in one episode and back to high in the next. 
Ryan may not have feelings for Brett, but he’s willing to go the eight weeks and be polite and honest during it.  Gil is giving it the eight weeks. Even though Myrla likes him, I don’t think she’s willing to make the financial compromise involved in marrying someone with less income than her.  But she’s at least not threatening him. 

I saw her big strained smile and knew he would pay for this when they are alone.  (Source, me, with a narcissist ex who was just like this).  Big and bold on the outside until they get pissed then look out.  

[Ms.C.]

Sorry haven’t read thread but what the hell is with Bao?  Seeing west coast and she just talked with group about Johnny.  My god, Bao, get out of hour head!  She intellectualizes EVERYTHING!  And Johnny is right. She lies.  

[JapMo]

Ryan and Brett need to have sex.  I wouldn't say that normally, because I don't think he will feel any more attracted to her, but they just need to go for it just for the physical pleasure of it.  Turn off the minds, tune out Pastor Cal's voice that in 30 days they have to decide.....you know the drill.  And just go at it.  They need to establish ground rules that neither read any more into it than a physical hookup between people who like and respect each other as friends.  Because the problem with these two...especially Ryan....is that they are thinking this to death.  Just go out and have a good time and quit talking about it.  If it's meant to be, it will happen.  If not, que sera sera.

I have wondered since day 1 why Gil is on this show.  And tonight I got my answer.  Watching Gil do "hosting" duties, control the conversation, be in charge.....yeah, our little Gil has a plan.  I never bought the whole firefighter thing as a lifelong commitment.  The man has ambition.  He wants to be the male version of Jaime Otis Hoener.  Might even be angling for her job.  That would not surprise me.  I've had a feeling for a few years that the show wants to replace Jaime.  Now the million dollar question.....is Myrla in on it?    

[Ms.C.]

5 hours ago, Kiss my mutt said:

New phone, who dis?

Michaela is off the a good start plopping down during a salsa dancing class and refusing to participate.  She just “didn’t want to do it”, but Gil is calling her out.  Not sure how Zach or anyone else can work with that. 

Michaela is very immature/insecure.  And she’s on camera. Remember last year another guy wasn’t comfortable with salsa either.  IMO, no evidence, Myrla probably already knew salsa.  She’s been around.  Prides herself on cool.  I’m sorry Myrla didn’t have empathy to support Michaela.   She’s very much the princess in everything.  It’s this ownership of privilege and entitlement that puts me off.  All brand and no soul.  

[Ms.C.]

Also, I bet Myrla gets fat.  Money down she wouldn’t fit in her wedding gown at this point in show. Pair of thighs, that girl. 
 

Guess I’m not a Myrla fan, huh?

[Ms.C.]

Geez I wish Ryan would soften up. He originally said he just wants someone there every day to share.  His “manliness’ is getting in the way.  I can’t see any woman on the show he’d be happy with.  Maybe Virginia from last year.  

[Ms.C.]

And I wish Unfiltered followed bc couple cam kind of boring.  Jamie totally knows the right questions and draws people out.  I ❤️ Her.   Shut up Myrla. 

[kristen111]

Let’s see.  Rachel takes forever to get a sentence out.  Every word has to be precise .. slow perfect talker, annoying.  Gil knows everything about women, he thinks.  Bao is scary as hell.  She whines a lot.  Michaela is nuts, period.  Moody and hot tempered,@and he’s not comfortable and is waiting it out.  I wouldn’t trust Jose with a ten foot pole.  That temper turned me off.  Ryan should tell her the truth .. he’s just not into her.  We didn’t need to see Baxter having to be put down.  Bummer.  I can’t decide if Myrla and Gil are for real.  He’s doing all the work mentally.  She just smiles and thinks that’s enough.  Not crazy about this season.

Kim, Johnny’s friend should have put slippers on while eating barefoot on the couch.  Unappealing.

Bao with the cuddling.  He doesn’t have it for you.  Enough.

 

 

Edited September 30, 2021 by kristen111

[kristen111]

33 minutes ago, Ms.C. said:

Geez I wish Ryan would soften up. He originally said he just wants someone there every day to share.  His “manliness’ is getting in the way.  I can’t see any woman on the show he’d be happy with.  Maybe Virginia from last year.  

I think he wants a model flashy type.  Someone who knocks his socks off.

[kristen111]

Oh brother.  One minute they all are in love .. the next minute they can’t stand one another.  They all go back n forth.  It’s very confusing.  Shut up Gil.  Now I can see why Bao was not married.  Off the wall imo.

 

 

[Ms.C.]

Ryan said he wants butterflies when Pastor Cal asked.  That’s dumb.  Not at all what Ryan said at beginning. And hss as anybody felt butterflies yet?  Ryan will only have butterflies when he finds a rodeo girl with hat and spurs riding a bull in local bar.  Debra Winger, are you available ?   Butterflies is why he’s not married.  

[LennieBriscoe]

3 hours ago, Ms.C. said:

Also, I bet Myrla gets fat.  Money down she wouldn’t fit in her wedding gown at this point in show. Pair of thighs, that girl. 
 

Guess I’m not a Myrla fan, huh?

I don't think we're observing the same Myrla. Moreover, why---and how--- should she have shown "empathy" to recalcitrant Michaela? Her whole Bartleby "I'd prefer not to" gig held no upside for Myrla to intervene. 

 

[LennieBriscoe]

About Bao and her "lying" re: her "baking and cooking":

We see Bao telling her friend that, pre-marriage, she did much if not all of those culinary activities to show her love. I think later, in the moment at the MAFS group dinner, Bao rattled off this same comment, but in the specific context of her marriage, without thought---a mistake, yes, but I hesitate to call it a deliberate lie. More of a psychological truth as to how Bao feels belittled and unappreciated in her marriage, no matter what and how much she does. Johnny focuses on the tree of the comment rather than the forest of his wife's feelings.

Bao sleeps wrong (snores); laughs wrong (giddy child); cuddles wrong (too hot, bad timing);  paints for fun wrong (too intense); loves wrong (doesn't initiate romance); and has the wrong personal hygiene. 

And now she's a "liar." 

Dump him, Bao. Johnny is a weirdo. And his looks don't begin to make up for that. 

Edited September 30, 2021 by LennieBriscoe

[ByTor]

8 hours ago, Kira53 said:

Myrla loves being called a Princess.

She certainly seems to, she always smiles when Gil says it, and to me it doesn't look like an uncomfortable smile. I think she takes it as teasing & they both look like they are having fun with it all. Although take that with a grain of salt, I typically stink at figuring out body language LOL.

5 hours ago, JapMo said:

Now the million dollar question.....is Myrla in on it?    

And the million-one dollar question - is the show in on it?

Edited September 30, 2021 by ByTor

[karenbrady]

I've officially decided on all the 'participants' I can't stand this season.

Michaela. She's totally off her rocker, frighteningly immature for her age and her scary,  weird laugh scares me.

Johnny. Speak up to Bao about your issues with her and stop turning beet red and running away to be comforted by Jose.

Bao. I realized last night that she just talks too damn much for me. She's too intense and at the group dinner I wanted her to STFU.

Sidenotes: I stay out of folks' pockets but Rachel should get braces before maxxing out another cc on travel. You're never too old for braces and they offer payment plans. I got them in my 40s to close an open bite and there was a 70+ yr old man getting treatment the same time.

Girla has been sexing it up with her outfit choices and she looks nice but still needs to throw those straw-like extensions up in a top-knot. 

Something about the way Brett holds her fork and digs into her food like she's shoveling snow is the only thing that bugs me about her. Little things like that can bug people (like me) and I'm sure Ryan notices.

Dull episode. When do we get to the get-a-way?

 

 

 

 

[gumbo]

I never saw it as a lie.

 

Johnny wants to focus on all of the wrong things.  They both agree that he refuses to initiate physical intimacy and he's said multiple times before that he wants his woman to take the lead and be more clingy onto him.  Bao asked for something very simple (cuddles) and he said he can't do it because he gets hot.  But in the same breath, he wants more spontaneous sex?  Bao wants foreplay but he can't be bothered to even do that for her.

Edited September 30, 2021 by gumbo

[Lindz]

José was like Brandon with his "apology." Basically, like, "I said sorry. Get over it." The nerve they have to get upset & defensive when THEY are the ones that messed up is sickening. He said, "I'm sorry for locking the top lock, BUT it wasn't on purpose. I didn't mean to do it." GTFOH!!! Locking the top lock wasn't the only issue!!!!! Then she explained that he gives excuses instead of just owning EVERYTHING he did wrong & what he should've done instead. Simple enough, no? 😅 NO! He responded, "I don't know what you want from me. I'm sorry. It'll never happen again." Good listening, IDIOT! How can you say it won't happen again when you won't acknowledge what "it" was & why "it" was wrong??? Without that, it'll be the same problem in other ways. What was most problematic was his cursing & practically ending the marriage & kicking her out. That didn't even get addressed (that we saw). Then he said, "Are you ever gunna get over it? Ever? Like F. I effed up. Okay. So wtf do you want me to do?" Um. HELLO!! SAME SH*T!!! WAKE UP RACHEL!!! I CAN'T EVEN!!! 😂😂

[Lindz]

Ryan said he had LESS feelings for Brett than when they first met. YIKES!!! 😨😨