S12.E15: Retreat Ready

[humbleopinion]

With only nine days left to decision day, the couples travel to Hilton Head, S.C. for a break from their "normal" married lives.

[Elizzikra]

I love Hilton Head. Nice location... if you actually like the people you are travelling with!

[humbleopinion]

Clara and Ry..A new place to not have peen intercourse.

Erik and Ginny...New bars for her to get blackout drunk and for him to scold and harrumph.

Briana and Vincent...Pack the eggshells because "Puffed" Vinny is not going to get in a swimsuit.

Haley and Jake...Sore Grievances packed in their carry on and checked in baggage.

Paige and Chris... Bentley...want doggie footage of Mr. Bentley frolicking in the sand and surf.

[Retired at last]

PLEASE let them have not included Chris in this. Paige can go, I guess, and mope around about how she deserved better, and hang out with Haley, but if they allow Chris, who has ruined every event he has attended and has already said he is done, to attend, then the show is being disrespectful - to us!!!

Edited April 18, 2021 by Retired at last

[gonecrackers]

I wish they'd stop the couples retreats - typically annoying &/or boring.

[Ilovepie]

4 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

I wish they'd stop the couples retreats - typically annoying &/or boring.

What do you mean - who can forget AJ getting drunk and slapping Luke on the ass, or Matt waxing poetic/lying about his marriage while everyone sat around giving him side eye? Or perhaps more recently, Woody forcing Amani on camera to discuss her preferred sexual position? Good times!

[Crashcourse]

12 minutes ago, Ilovepie said:

What do you mean - who can forget AJ getting drunk and slapping Luke on the ass, or Matt waxing poetic/lying about his marriage while everyone sat around giving him side eye? Or perhaps more recently, Woody forcing Amani on camera to discuss her preferred sexual position? Good times!

I'm glad you brought these examples up because that's exactly why I hate these retreats.  At least, hopefully, there will be no Chris.  

[Rae Spellman]

On 4/18/2021 at 8:57 AM, Retired at last said:

PLEASE let them have not included Chris in this. Paige can go, I guess, and mope around about how she deserved better, and hang out with Haley, but if they allow Chris, who has ruined every event he has attended and has already said he is done, to attend, then the show is being disrespectful - to us!!!

Or, they could give send Paige and Hailey on some other adventure and send Jake on a different zany adventure with a friend or family member. Then MAFS can post the footage to Lifetime.com or YouTube. That way those who don't want to watch can watch the main show without seeing it and those who want to watch can find it fairly easily.

[NowVoyager]

!? 3 HOURS !!?

 

[gonecrackers]

1 hour ago, NowVoyager said:

!? 3 HOURS !!?

 

I think, it's 2 hrs, & the last hour is the Unmatchables thing.

[gonecrackers]

Clara's chosen a longer negligee for tonight's Unfiltered.

JamieO asks Clara & Jake how they're doing -

Clara: "Good!"

Jake: "I'd rather be anywhere else Good."

[Cancun]

Jake looks nicely groomed on Unfiltered tonight. Beard and hair are on point. His jacket may be a little snug, but I get the intent of the look.

[Straycat80]

27 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

I think, it's 2 hrs, & the last hour is the Unmatchables thing.

Hope you are right, I couldn’t handle three hours!

Jake looks nice on Unfiltered. Clara looks like she’s wearing lingerie again. 

[Crashcourse]

32 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

I think, it's 2 hrs, & the last hour is the Unmatchables thing.

*whew!*  Thank goodness!  I can skip the Unmatchables thing.

[Cancun]

Jake is showing his emotional maturity on Unfiltered. I’ll paraphrase, but here are two example of his insightful thinking:

“1. When Erik and Virginia fight over and over about her crashing on a guy’s couch, it’s not about that. They aren’t getting to what’s underneath that issue.”

“2. When Bennet (last season) wrote about the Pokémon card, he was acknowledging that lesson was too valuable to let stand. He would let his younger self know how to correct the mistake.”

I can’t wait until this mess is over, so we can hear how Jake really analyzes what happened with his marriage to Haley.

[LennieBriscoe]

As an aside: The movie "Couples' Retreat" is hilarious! The yoga scene...! 😅

Edited April 22, 2021 by LennieBriscoe

[Straycat80]

Jake got the bracelet back and now they are driving separately to the retreat. Why even bother going! Jake should refund the bracelet and use the money to treat his friends to a guy trip. 

[Empress1]

1 hour ago, NowVoyager said:

!? 3 HOURS !!?

 

Verbatim, what I just said. I’ll be splitting this up.

[gonecrackers]

Great... another episode of Haley picking on Jake. Fucking sake we know you hate him. And I'm hating this show.

[Crashcourse]

Stank faced Jake sitting at the table. 

[Straycat80]

1 minute ago, gonecrackers said:

Great... another episode of Haley picking on Jake. Fucking sake we know you hate him. And I'm hating this show.

Yeah, he’s so over it. And doesn’t he know you are not suppose to answer your phone or text while driving? 

[LennieBriscoe]

Erik is definitely working his way to OverItLand. 

Jake, being a long-time resident, is quietly biding his time. 

Okay! Haley just rolled her eyes at Jake's use of "holistically," because she believes her observers will feel similarly (I'd  like to hear a defense of the eye roll). Then she questions his approach  to the topic. STHU, Haley! 

Brianna can, too, about Jake. Worry about your Doughboy.

 

 

Edited April 22, 2021 by LennieBriscoe

[gonecrackers]

3 hours ago, Straycat80 said:

Yeah, he’s so over it. And doesn’t he know you are not suppose to answer your phone or text while driving? 

I missed that; that's bad.

Otherwise Haley can't be any more fake; Jake speaks truth & knows just how fake she is. She's trying to pull things out of him that she has no right to anymore. Haley isn't there when they're not filming, but he's supposed to be cool with her act.

Haley just went to this retreat to bitch about & at Jake. Neither of them belong there.

Edited April 22, 2021 by gonecrackers

[Crashcourse]

What the hell does Area Man even mean?  

[gonecrackers]

1 minute ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Brianna can, too, about Jake. Worry about your Doughboy.

She doesn't know the whole picture & should STFU, but they ask direct questions so these people comment on the other marriages, which really sucks.

[humbleopinion]

7 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

Verbatim, what I just said. I’ll be splitting this up.

Thought you wrote...spitting...

Ptooey...Ptooey...Ptooey

 

[Crashcourse]

Jake is a whiny muscle head.  So he doesn't like Haley.  Fine.  But he won't even try to be nice and pleasant sitting at the table with the others.  He just wants to cast a pall on the gathering because he wants to act butt hurt and call Haley out in front of everyone.  I'm glad she's no longer reacting to him.      

[Baltimore Betty]

Just now, Crashcourse said:

Jake is a whiny muscle head.  So he doesn't like Haley.  Fine.  But he won't even try to be nice and pleasant sitting at the table with the others.  He just wants to cast a pall on the gathering because he wants to act butt hurt and call Haley out in front of everyone.  I'm glad she's no longer reacting to him.      

I also think he has been dumped by women in the past for what ever reasons and he is taking it out on Haley.  

[gonecrackers]

22 minutes ago, Crashcourse said:

Jake is a whiny muscle head.  So he doesn't like Haley.  Fine.  But he won't even try to be nice and pleasant sitting at the table with the others.  He just wants to cast a pall on the gathering because he wants to act butt hurt and call Haley out in front of everyone.  I'm glad she's no longer reacting to him.      

If no longer reacting is being a bitch on wheels, well maybe...

Edited April 22, 2021 by gonecrackers

[Empress1]

4 minutes ago, Crashcourse said:

What the hell does Area Man even mean?  

Man from the area in which the paper or news story is published. You see it in the news all the time. “Area man reports seeing Bigfoot.” 

Jake and Haley just hate each other. They’re that couple other couples hate to be around because they kill the vibe.

Briana: “He said what he said.” HA!

[gonecrackers]

1 minute ago, Baltimore Betty said:

I also think he has been dumped by women in the past for what ever reasons and he is taking it out on Haley.  

And Haley's ex got someone else preggo which has caused her to become an angry & toxic person.

[Hangin Out]

WOW .. Haley wound up tight.  Letting it all out.  Not a good look.  Don’t ash your dirty laundry in front of the others and ruin their time.  She’s competitive..so cute .. NOT.

What’s in Virginia’s 50 gallon cup?  A marguerita or 20 ?

Haley is just being super obnoxious.

[Straycat80]

Who chose horse back riding for Bri and Vince? He’s afraid of horses. Suspect producer shenanigans. 

[gonecrackers]

Honestly would rather watch Vinnie be whiny & Clara complain about no-sex Ryan than watch H&J anymore.

[Retired at last]

It's not on here yet. Are Paige and Chris there?

[gonecrackers]

3 minutes ago, Retired at last said:

It's not on here yet. Are Paige and Chris there?

Thankfully, no.

[Hangin Out]

24 minutes ago, Crashcourse said:

Stank faced Jake sitting at the table. 

Obnoxious Haley pissed she owes Mother ten bucks for overnite bracelet.

[LennieBriscoe]

So I re-watched, and petty as I might sound here, but---Haley started it. She interrupted Jake's train of thought by telling him, in so many words, that he wasn't answering the question correctly. 

So then Jake got snarky at Ms. Buttinski and said, "Why don't  you tell me what I've  learned [if you know so much]?" 

And off to the races!

 

[Retired at last]

The "experts" must be so proud of the best people they could find out of all the applicants. That leaves me with ZERO desire to watch Unmatchable!

[Empress1]

“Halfway drunk argument.” What a shock.

[LennieBriscoe]

Is it just my phone, or do others have our names covered up by a capital letter and  the words "Just now" or "1 minute ago," etc.?

Edited April 22, 2021 by LennieBriscoe

[gonecrackers]

It's tough for me to listen to VA with her constant up-speak.

[humbleopinion]

1 minute ago, Empress1 said:

“Halfway drunk argument.” What a shock.

More like all the way drunk and lapping herself....

[Hangin Out]

3 minutes ago, LennieBriscoe said:

So I re-watched, and petty as I might sound here, but---Haley started it. She interrupted Jake's train of thought by telling him, in so many words, that he wasn't answering the question correctly. 

Haley frustrated.  Hasn’t had sex in seven years except with Jake when drunk.  Taking frustration out on Jake.

[Retired at last]

Glad you said something, @LennieBriscoe. I have no idea what those things are saying and since I can't read them, it is completely annoying. I hope that is something they are fixing!

ETA: I am on my laptop and it is bad. Can't imagine how it must be on a phone.

 

Edited April 22, 2021 by Retired at last

[humbleopinion]

3 minutes ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Is it just my phone, or do others have our names covered up by a capital letter and  the words "Just now" or "1 minute ago," etc.?

I have giant colored squares sneaking from the bottom of my screen crawling up...

[Crashcourse]

20 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

If no longer reacting is being a bitch on fire, well maybe...

I would be that "bitch on fire" if I had to be with Jake for 10 minutes.  So yeah, I'd welcome being called that.  😄

[Empress1]

1 minute ago, Silver Bells said:

Haley frustrated.  Hasn’t had sex in seven years except with Jake when drunk.  Taking frustration out on Jake.

I don’t think we know that. She said she’s been single for 7 years, not that she’s been celibate for 7 years. Virginia has been single for years too but says she’s been promiscuous in that time.

[Straycat80]

1 minute ago, humbleopinion said:

I have giant colored squares sneaking from the bottom of my screen crawling up...

Me too but it disappears so fast I don’t know if it says anything. Weird. 

[Cancun]

It drives me nuts that the wives are so candidly (and not softly) talking about their relationships with the guys sitting ten feet away at the table. I can’t believe Erik, for instance, doesn’t stop talking with the guys and completely key in on Virginia complaining about him.