S12.E13: Unanswered Questions

[humbleopinion]

With Decision Day less than three weeks away, the couples meet individually with Dr. Pepper and Pastor Cal to probe the serious (seriously) questions they still have about their marriage.

Edited April 5, 2021 by humbleopinion

[Crashcourse]

I'm watching Unfiltered now and Ryan looks like an idiot in that yellow cap, t-shirt and jacket and the twirly mustache.  Jake has cleaned up his act (still don't like him though), and Ryan needs to do the same. 

[LuvMyShows]

11 minutes ago, Crashcourse said:

I'm watching Unfiltered now and Ryan looks like an idiot in that yellow cap, t-shirt and jacket and the twirly mustache.  

Ryan also cleverly deflected at the very end when they showed that clip of Clara talking to the girls about getting him off every night.  He went all you-go-girl about how great it is that Clara speaks her mind to him, and that she has every right to speak her mind to her friends, and that it's something they have discussed...which kept Jamie from asking the million-dollar question: if she is getting you off every night, what are you doing for her???

[gonecrackers]

Ryan dodges questions like a pro.

Erik was NOT teaching "sit" properly; he was being a jerk. They need a real trainer who teaches positive methods.

ETA: Geez positive trainers are even all over YT free.

Edited April 8, 2021 by gonecrackers

[Crashcourse]

This whole "budget" thing with Brianna and Vincent is a joke for the cameras.  Made up drama.

3 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

Ryan dodges questions like a pro.

Gotta give it to him, he really is good at that.  

Edited April 8, 2021 by Crashcourse

[Straycat80]

Over $9,000 a month to live? I live in a boring, small town with a low cost of living, I almost fainted when I saw that figure. 

[Crashcourse]

2 minutes ago, Straycat80 said:

Over $9,000 a month to live? I live in a boring, small town with a low cost of living, I almost fainted when I saw that figure. 

I think they're bullshitting us.

[Straycat80]

I hate when a man (FU Pastor Cal) doesn’t understand a woman’s fear of pregnancy. 

[Crashcourse]

Something is "off" with Erik.  There's a desperation about him and it's strange that he would immediately fall head over heels in love with Virginia (or any woman).   I would love to know what his ex wife has to say about their marriage.

[VioletNevermind]

Oh, Dr. Pepper.  That little girl has no desire to stop drinking.  She’s not done being young and I do fear that she’s headed down a bad path where alcohol is concerned.  A heart-to-heart with her skittish “husband” will do nothing but push her closer to Mr. Jack Daniels.  

[Straycat80]

I’m so confused why Ryan thinks this pairing is the best one ever when he doesn’t want to have sex with Clara. It sounds like he was brought up religiously, but then why would he consent to doing other things. 
And here’s Clara saying this is the best relationship she’s ever had,  but last week she was complaining about him not wanting to have sex with her. 

[Coltee Gal]

Virginia doesn’t want to get pregnant because it will affect her relationship with alcohol. 

[Hangin Out]

6 minutes ago, Crashcourse said:

Something is "off" with Erik.  There's a desperation about him and it's strange that he would immediately fall head over heels in love with Virginia (or any woman).   I would love to know what his ex wife has to say about their marriage.

Something is off with all of them.  Ryan is a bullshitter and what’s with Clara giving her marriage a 10?  She’s miserable.

[Crashcourse]

So maybe Ryan is a virgin?

[gonecrackers]

Both Ryan & Clara neglected to mention Ryan is, um, satisfied, with their sex life. It's fine for him because it seems to be, all for him.

[Cancun]

18 minutes ago, Crashcourse said:

So maybe Ryan is a virgin?

I think he might be a penetration virgin, since we know he isn’t an orgasm by partner virgin. I think at some point he pledged or decided to save himself for marriage, so he accepts everything but PIV.  But if that’s true then he should just say that! And if he is not reciprocating, maybe he doesn’t know how or what? Really naive?

Also, I forgot both of his parents are pastors. 

Edited April 8, 2021 by Cancun

[Hangin Out]

3 minutes ago, Crashcourse said:

So maybe Ryan is a virgin?

I can’t figure out what the hell he is.  He lets her do that, but doesn’t want intercourse.  Selfish little bugger, and she’s stupid for doing it.

[Hangin Out]

Virginia borrowed Haley’s Amish hat.

[Crashcourse]

Virginia looks like a 12 year old sitting on the kitchen counter.  I think even she is surprised that Erik is so into her.  She's feeling smothered already and she can't wait to go off with her friends and get drunk.   

[Straycat80]

This conversation between V and Erik sounds like a dating couple not a married couple. Husband should come before spending the weekend partying with your friends. She is so not ready to be married at all. 
I’m on Clara’s side about church, church was shoved down my throat as well and as soon as I was 18 I made the decision not to go to church anymore. 

[Rae Spellman]

Clara and Ryan may end up in a long, unfulfilling marriage. There's a recent NYT article about consenting to unwanted touch. Clara mentioned that they didn't even even kiss in the early days. While Ryan accepts whatever it is that Clara is doing, his preference could be no touching. If at twenty nine he's been in relationships that lasted months or years with no sex, it's possible that he doesn't know how to do things that would please Clara and is reluctant to ask her to guide him into figuring it out while there are multiple opportunities for her to talk about it on camera. He might think he's compromising by consenting to whatever it is they are doing.  

Edited April 8, 2021 by Rae Spellman

[Cancun]

I hate how Erik said Dr. Pepper said to “let that one go” regarding Rocky. That incorrectly sounds like he is right but that he should choose his battles. Instead, Dr. Pepper clearly told him he was wrong, using the analogy of child from prior relationship. What a jerk, he really can spin things to retain control in every situation.

[karenbrady]

Chris, personally I don't find her face attractive either. Now your face? Oh yeah, I don't find yours attractive either so there's that. 

I believe (from episode 1) that Ryan is struggling with his sexuality. Reminds me of 'Band of Gold' by Freda Payne.

[Brooklynista]

Goodness Paige,

Please get yourself a decent lacefront wig after this.  This talking head wig looks sweated out and matted to her head.

[karenbrady]

Those wigs are not helping your cause Paige. Now stop whining and just go home. That fool don't want you!!!!!

Just now, Brooklynista said:

Goodness Paige,

Please get yourself a decent lacefront wig after this.  This talking head wig looks sweated out and matted to her head.

I just said the same.

1 hour ago, Crashcourse said:

I'm watching Unfiltered now and Ryan looks like an idiot in that yellow cap, t-shirt and jacket and the twirly mustache.  Jake has cleaned up his act (still don't like him though), and Ryan needs to do the same. 

Those mustaches FREAK ME OUT. Can't even look at them.

[spunky]

Laughing at Chris' failed attempts to gaslight Pastor Cal. The fact that he was smirking the entire time while Pastor Cal was hitting him with pure facts says a lot. He really thinks he did nothing wrong.  He's a true narcissist. 

[Madding crowd]

Ryan is hiding something I think and they both insist their marriage is a ten? I almost choked at seeing Brianna and Vincent and their $9,000 a month expenses. How could they afford that? And you can do lots of things without spending $250.00 a night. I was annoyed at Dr. Pepper suggesting that Erik should only expect his wife one weekend a month. She should spend one weekend a month with friends and the rest with her husband! Chris remains a piece of dirt.

[Crashcourse]

10 minutes ago, Brooklynista said:

Goodness Paige,

Please get yourself a decent lacefront wig after this.  This talking head wig looks sweated out and matted to her head.

That wig looked like a dead critter that got run over on the highway.  I know she can do better than that.

[Straycat80]

Brianna is a beautiful woman but those fake eyelashes look so heavy! 

[jennyf]

Erik was saying two different things to Virginia. He asked her to plan ahead for a weekend a month because he was parroting Dr Pepper, then basically put her on notice that he’d want her to change or cancel plans because of him. I don’t blame her for getting annoyed about that. Though I do have a hard time believing that a) she makes plans a week ahead of time and b) that his schedule is so incredibly unpredictable that he doesn’t know where he’ll be during the week. That conversation got ugly fast. And her not willing to acknowledge alcohol being a problem is obviously a major, major problem. 

[Crashcourse]

It's too bad about Brianna's anxiety about having children because of her high blood pressure.  However, just like Katie and her diabetes from a previous season, I don't think it's fair to the husband (or wife if it's a man with a health issue) to spring that on him in a situation where they get married at first sight.  I'd feel the same way about virgins like Iris from a previous season, and possibly Ryan. 

[VioletNevermind]

God, poor Jake.  What an utterly humiliating experience this has been for him.  He’s not everyone’s cup of tea (which applies to all of us), but he doesn’t deserve to have been treated so dismissively by Haley- and from jump.  That girl has some soul-searching to do about what on earth she wants.  Maybe someone can do her “chart” and help her figure it out.  Ugh. 

Edited April 8, 2021 by Suzy Rhapsody

[Straycat80]

Why keep pushing Jake and Haley together? It’s obviously she’s just not into him, and he knows it too. This is just prolonging the pain for them both. Haley should have moved out with Paige. 

[Crashcourse]

Well at least Haley didn't flat out say she didn't like his face.  

[Cancun]

3 minutes ago, jennyf said:

Erik was saying two different things to Virginia. He asked her to plan ahead for a weekend a month because he was parroting Dr Pepper, then basically put her on notice that he’d want her to change or cancel plans because of him. I don’t blame her for getting annoyed about that. Though I do have a hard time believing that a) she makes plans a week ahead of time and b) that his schedule is so incredibly unpredictable that he doesn’t know where he’ll be during the week. That conversation got ugly fast. And her not willing to acknowledge alcohol being a problem is obviously a major, major problem. 

Yes! When she immediately said, “I’m not going to talk about that” or whatever and shut it down...that tells me this is not the first time someone has suggested or confronted her about stopping drinking.

[gonecrackers]

2 minutes ago, Straycat80 said:

Why keep pushing Jake and Haley together? It’s obviously she’s just not into him, and he knows it too. This is just prolonging the pain for them both. Haley should have moved out with Paige. 

It's prolonging the pain for a lot of us too.

[VioletNevermind]

Vincent sounds like the adult in the room in this conversation about their budget.  Having fun and enjoying the fruits of your labor as a child-free couple are one thing, but damn.  She spends a hell of a lot of money. 

Edited April 8, 2021 by Suzy Rhapsody

[CSunshine76]

1 hour ago, Crashcourse said:

I think they're bullshitting us.

Did this include two mortgage/rent payments? If so, I could see it being $9K (though it’s still high). I’m single, living in a city that has a cost of living about equal to ATL and I easily spend half that (a little more) each month. Of course my largest expense is my mortgage...and that does not count what I put in savings. It’s not completely shocking to me.

[honeywest]

1 hour ago, Straycat80 said:

Over $9,000 a month to live? I live in a boring, small town with a low cost of living, I almost fainted when I saw that figure. 

I live in NYC and that figure made me faint.

[Crashcourse]

2 minutes ago, CSunshine76 said:

Did this include two mortgage/rent payments? If so, I could see it being $9K (though it’s still high). I’m single, living in a city that has a cost of living about equal to ATL and I easily spend half that (a little more) each month. Of course my largest expense is my mortgage...and that does not count what I put in savings. It’s not completely shocking to me.

But if they are married and living together, why would they have two mortgage/rent payments?   

[jennyf]

I think I saw $3,000/month for savings. So that would bring living expenses to $6,000.

[gonecrackers]

Something as important as wanting kids or not should have been dealt with during the screening process for the show. Either the 'experts' dropped the ball, again, or it's all BS for drama.

[Retired at last]

4 minutes ago, Crashcourse said:

But if they are married and living together, why would they have two mortgage/rent payments?   

Because they each have their homes and are now living in a provided apartment. Until they actually move in or buy a home, they still have to pay for their homes.

[CSunshine76]

8 minutes ago, Crashcourse said:

But if they are married and living together, why would they have two mortgage/rent payments?   

Agreed, that’s why I wonder of that’s what made the number so high...was it “current” expenses for each of them?

[Crashcourse]

4 minutes ago, Retired at last said:

Because they each have their homes and are now living in a provided apartment. Until they actually move in or buy a home, they still have to pay for their homes.

Yes, I know that but the $9,000 sounded like that was going to be their budget when they moved in together.  Now maybe I missed the part where they said that figure was only based on them living separately for a brief period.

[gonecrackers]

So Haley still wants to "try". But does "try" mean being around after the cameras leave, is the question.

She should've been honest for once & just admitted she's done.

[Retired at last]

13 minutes ago, Crashcourse said:

Yes, I know that but the $9,000 sounded like that was going to be their budget when they moved in together.  Now maybe I missed the part where they said that figure was only based on them living separately for a brief period.

If they are both home owners and need to sell one or both, that will take some time. Or, if they are renting, they would have a lease to finish or buy out, so it may take some time to get to their together in one home budget. I am just impressed that they are saving $3,000 a month.

[Hangin Out]

1 hour ago, Brooklynista said:

Goodness Paige,

Please get yourself a decent lacefront wig after this.  This talking head wig looks sweated out and matted to her head.

I was thinking the exact same thing.  That wig is nasty.  I can’t take the way she talks so slowly either.  Chris is no better.  If he uses the word unrespected one more time, I will scream.  

[Hangin Out]

1 hour ago, MyTwoCents said:

Chris is so delusional! He has serious psychological problems. He’s definitely narcissistic, and probably a sociopath or psychopath. If he doesn’t get some serious help, he’s going to continue to be a train wreck wherever he goes and drag down all those around him.

I want to know one thing.  Why did these three experts pick Chris and Paige?  Anyone can plainly see they weren’t for this show.  Paige looks lifeless and has no pride.  You can wash the floor with her, and Chris is a Blowhard maniac who took her to bed even tho he hated her face.  I wouldn’t trust those experts to pick corn for me.

[LakeGal]

I don't know why Ryan is worried about raising their kids in church.  They have to have sex to have children.