S12.E03: Nice to Marry You

[Straycat80]

I almost expected Chris and Paige to consummate the marriage right there on the bridal table. At least they’re honest with each right off the bat. 

[Crashcourse]

2 minutes ago, Suzy Rhapsody said:

Discussing masturbation during the wedding is definitely a first.  I am dying!  This guy is such a joke. 

Which one was discussing masturbation?  Somehow I missed that.

Edit:  I should have known it was Chris.  He really thinks he's hot.  His daddy looks like a balloon.

Edited January 28, 2021 by Crashcourse

[Myrtle Urkele]

29 minutes ago, Mindthinkr said:

I wonder if the experts think that Haley is going to bring Jake out of his shell. 

I hate this rationale of matching opposites thinking that they will be attracted to each other. This is rarely true in real life.

Edited January 28, 2021 by Myrtle Urkele

[LennieBriscoe]

Chris mentioned it. 

[gonecrackers]

1 minute ago, Crashcourse said:

Which one was discussing masturbation?  Somehow I missed that.

Chris, that 'charmer'... among other things. 🙄

[VioletNevermind]

I’m starting to see where Chris got what he clearly thinks is his swerve. 

[CSunshine76]

7 minutes ago, Mindthinkr said:

Wedding Dinner Talk MAFS Edition. “Are you a virgin” 

“Are you on contraception” 

 

Don’t forget the masturbation talk! Chris is a winner, all around!

[Straycat80]

At this point I think Brianna and Vincent are the only couple well suited. The best...not so much to zero chance in hell. 

[LennieBriscoe]

Aussies soon! Oi, oi, oi!

[humbleopinion]

9 minutes ago, Suzy Rhapsody said:

Discussing masturbation during the wedding is definitely a first.  

And they say the art of conversation is dead....

[LennieBriscoe]

3 minutes ago, Straycat80 said:

At this point I think Brianna and Vincent are the only couple well suited. The best...not so much to zero chance in hell. 

I think Pilot Erik and Virginia look like they really like each other, also!

Edited January 28, 2021 by LennieBriscoe

[Empress1]

Paige was with Chris's dad right up until he mentioned Chris III and lil' Crystal. She lives her life prayerfully and she was good with him praying for Chris to find a wife ... and then here comes the talk of children and her eyes dropped. Just a second but you could see it.

Glad there was no cake-shoving. I am vetoing that from the get. Professional makeup jobs are very expensive.

Edited January 28, 2021 by Empress1

[Crashcourse]

Chris was questioning Paige like she was going to be his brood mare.  I wish my niece could have met him because she would have drop-kicked him in the nuts and left him on the floor during the first date.   She don't take NO shit.  lol

[Dreamawake719]

Am I the only one that sees Nathan Fillion when I look at Jacob?

[humbleopinion]

53 minutes ago, MyTwoCents said:

I’m sorry but it must be noted, Jacob is the fugliest guy ever on MAFS 😢

He’s Popeye ugly. 
What waste of a tux, it looks wonky and ill fitted on him.

[gonecrackers]

Superficial note, but I don't think Haley's dress flatters her at. all.

[Empress1]

Just now, gonecrackers said:

Superficial note, but I don't think Haley's dress flatters her at. all.

It looks like it's just a little too tight.

[VioletNevermind]

Poor Virginia looks rode hard and put up wet, bless her heart.   

[Hangin Out]

Too many commercials !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Edited January 28, 2021 by Silver Bells

[LennieBriscoe]

LOVE Virginia's purple-tressed Mom!

[ShowFan]

53 minutes ago, Straycat80 said:

I’ve always wondered how many dogs have decided to take a dump half way up the aisle

As a proud dog mom, I’ll tell you that unless the dog has been kept without bathroom break for extremely long time, they would never take a “dump down the isle.” The brides and grooms are more likely to throw up down the isle if you’re looking for something of the sort. Dogs are super deliberate about poop and take a long time to find just the perfect place and face the perfect direction. 

[Straycat80]

7 minutes ago, LennieBriscoe said:

I think Pilot Erik and Virginia look like they really like each other, also!

Right now. But I think she still wants to go out and party and he’s ready to stay home with quiet nights and dinner like his friend said. 

[Crashcourse]

4 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

Superficial note, but I don't think Haley's dress flatters her at. all.

It just looks...boring.

[gonecrackers]

Just now, LennieBriscoe said:

LOVE Virginia's purple-tressed Mom!

She's very pretty & is pulling it off well.

[ShowFan]

3 minutes ago, Suzy Rhapsody said:

Poor Virginia looks rode hard and put up wet, bless her heart.   

Or as my husband puts it “from 26 straight to 46”

[Mindthinkr]

Just now, gonecrackers said:

She's very pretty & is pulling it off well.

She has kind of a Sally Fields look about her. 

[LennieBriscoe]

5 minutes ago, Suzy Rhapsody said:

Poor Virginia looks rode hard and put up wet, bless her heart.   

That's how Virginia Party Animal rolls! I hope she can get Erik to go with her, because if he just puts his slippers on and tells her to go have a good time, that "good time" is eventually going to have a name.

Edited January 28, 2021 by LennieBriscoe

[gonecrackers]

1 minute ago, Crashcourse said:

It just looks...boring.

Yeah, that too. It's also just horribly unflattering.

[Myrtle Urkele]

1 minute ago, CSunshine76 said:

Don’t forget the masturbation talk! Chris is a winner, all around!

 

15 minutes ago, Suzy Rhapsody said:

I’m starting to see where Chris got what he clearly thinks is his swerve. 

Chris and his dad is giving me second hand embarrassment.

[gonecrackers]

Chris's dad gives me a creepy vibe.

 

ETA- he just got much worse

Edited January 28, 2021 by gonecrackers

[Empress1]

2 minutes ago, Suzy Rhapsody said:

Poor Virginia looks rode hard and put up wet, bless her heart.   

I cannot get over how bad her makeup is. I really can't. It's not even staying put - now, a few hours and however many drinks later, she looks like she has two black eyes. 

She is kind of hard-looking. I think her lifestyle shows on her - binge drinking will age you.

[humbleopinion]

2 minutes ago, LennieBriscoe said:

LOVE Virginia's purple-tressed Mom!

Erik...your purpled tressed MIL is what your wild child wife will look like in 30 years just add blotchy boozer’s skin, dull eyes and thick waist from an enlarged liver from decades of filtering booze...

[VioletNevermind]

3 minutes ago, ShowFan said:

Or as my husband puts it “from 26 straight to 46”

I might have to steal that. 

[LennieBriscoe]

Dad Chris and sex talk! Boundaries, Pops!

[CSunshine76]

Nothing like a wedding day sex talk from the FIL. That you JUST MET!!!

 

eta: I hate Chris. HATE.

Edited January 28, 2021 by CSunshine76

[VioletNevermind]

This conversation with Chris’s father is deeply weird and inappropriate.  How gross.  Let your son handle his own “intimacy.” 

Edited January 28, 2021 by Suzy Rhapsody

[Empress1]

... I hate Chris so much, y'all.

[Mindthinkr]

Chris is so superficial. 

[Straycat80]

Chris talking to the bridesmaids...continues to put his foot in mouth. 
And he said it, he’s not attracted to her. He’s no prize himself. 

[LennieBriscoe]

Chris is going through a lot of shovels, digging deeper and deeper.......

No, Chris, you won't see Paige on the pole. Sorry!

[Empress1]

1 minute ago, Straycat80 said:

Chris talking to the bridesmaids...continues to put his foot in mouth. 
And he said it, he’s not attracted to her. He’s no prize himself. 

I think she's much better-looking than he is.

[Mindthinkr]

I’m wondering just how long Chris intends to play this out. Consummate just because he can. Then he will be out more, rage when he is at home kind of guy. How long before he has a side piece? 

[Crashcourse]

3 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

... I hate Chris so much, y'all.

I want to beat that ass so bad....  

SO bad....

[Kiss my mutt]

Why in the world would they let someone who was engaged five months ago? Chris is as douchey as I expected and yep, not exactly enthralled by Paige’s appearance which I figured. The way his parents talked to Paige made me throw up in my mouth a little. 
What a dud Jacob is. At least he finds Haley attractive though he is so beyond awkward with her. The way he was talking, I thought he had game. 
MAFS will be lucky if they get one couple that stays togetherthis season. I think they just put everyone’s name in a hat for the matches. 
Chris needs a smackdown of epic proportions. 

[Myrtle Urkele]

Chris is the worst. It didn't even take him until the honeymoon to become the villain of the show.

[gonecrackers]

I know, I know, the hair, but Ryan should've at least cleaned up that face for the wedding.

[VioletNevermind]

Chris and his “strong pull-out game” are absolutely revolting.  This episode is basically a public service announcement for all of the women he could date in the future.

Edited January 28, 2021 by Suzy Rhapsody

[humbleopinion]

2 minutes ago, Mindthinkr said:

How long before he has a side piece? 

Does the blow up doll count as a side piece?

[Myrtle Urkele]

I need someone to earnestly fight Chris on Paige's behalf

[Hangin Out]

36 minutes ago, Straycat80 said:

These last two couples are so horribly matched. This show is now only for drama and shock value. 

I was optimistic last week, but very disappointed this week.

Chris talks like a teenager.  I could see him trying to jump her bones tonight.

Once again, the experts screwed up.  On purpose.  For Drama.