Indian Matchmaking - General Discussion

[Irlandesa]

I binged the third season even though I have The Diplomat waiting for me, but this is just so easy to binge.

I need to stop watching this show.  How can Love Is Blind have a better success rate than a matchmaking show with people who claim they're open to the matchmaking process when I do not think they are.  They all want traditional love matches and everything that goes with it.  That's fine but it feels counterintuitive to hire this woman to make that happen. 

The only two known success stories include the one carryover from last year with Shital dating a Miami doctor, who I think she was dating before Season 2 was filmed and who she met through her sister.  And this season there was another one at the end who met via a dating app.  I think that happened in Season 1 as well. 

There's another couple who met through Sima

Spoiler

but rumor has it they've broken up even though they seem to end this season on a happy note.

They portray the women as way too picky, even though I suspect they're encouraged to list off everything they'd want in a mate.  But even the most chill person got some suspicious results.  And then I also find myself agreeing with Sima that sometimes that connection isn't instant and it may take a few dates for it to grow.  Then again, if a compatibility issue comes up like where they want to live, then there's no point in pushing forward--even though, in that case, it's pretty clear she probably already had the other boyfriend.

[HerkyJerky]

Poor Bobby!

[stewedsquash]

Ha Take the Bobby! I am only up to the third episode and I love his parents. 

I'm not really watching for the success rates but more peeking in on their lifestyles and culture. Seeing their homes and watching their little rituals. I guess I like the parents most? Ha

I did have a real life view of an Indian matchmaking. In our little town they owned a Subway, gas station and a storage place. It was two brothers and a sister. My husband is a chatterbox to any and all so they became town friends. I told him one day that the sister was raising heck that day and he said She's mad because she didn't like who the brothers matched her with. I was all Huh? that happens here? I knew of it but I didn't think about it. He said that they were searching high and low because she was almost 30 and then there would not be much choice for her (I know, I know). They bought the Subway and something else to increase her value in a match. The thing was she was pissed because she wanted them to find matches in NJ only and the match they did was in Miami. Anyway, off topic so will stop. But that's mostly why I watch, the lifestyles that are so exotic to me.

eta Happy ending though, she did wind up in NJ!

Edited April 23, 2023 by stewedsquash

[Starlight925]

The problem with this concept today is, as one of the guy friends said in one of the episodes, people just aren't getting married as frequently anymore.

Today's Indian culture is going through what Americans went through a few decades ago:  women are educated and have great careers, thus they don't want to stay home and "need" a husband financially, and the existence of apps/swipes to get to the "next better thing".

Or picky picky people.  Vikash (the 40 year-old dancing ER doctor who lives in California) wants a Hindi-speaking woman.  Sima finds him an attractive, educated, charming woman who lives near him, but alas....she doesn't speak Hindi.  She finds him a Hindi speaking woman next, but she's "too Indian" for him (his words).  His next date is with a Hindi-speaking woman who is charming, educated (she's an attorney), but I bet it won't work out, as she lives across the country in North Carolina.

And Vikash is just one example of picky picky.

Arshneel from Season 3 (the Sikh, turban-wearing cardiologist from Cleveland) was concerned that women would be put off by his turban.  So Sima finds him an attractive dentist, yet he doesn't like the fact that, even though she lives in the U.S. (Chicago?), she speaks with an Indian accent.

Picky, picky, picky.

There is a good book that demonstrates today's dating life (all dating, not just Indian), called "The Paradox of Choice".  To summarize:  Often, too many choices = no choice.

Edited April 23, 2023 by Starlight925

[pasdetrois]

I think in most cases people are just not attracted to each other. I think that sometimes that is overcome by building familiarity, but not in most cases. I think there is a biological component to this that is undeniable.

"Take the Bobby" was so sweet and hilarious. I hope he finds someone. Maybe if he learns to really calm way down.

Edited April 23, 2023 by pasdetrois

[retired watcher]

Vikash is really going to hold not speaking Hindi against a women? He even admits he doesn't speak it completely fluently.

[judylo]

But Vikash pings my gaydar.

Edited April 24, 2023 by judylo
Typo

[awaken]

I was so excited to see today that the show is back!  

[pasdetrois]

Sima is showing a distinctly pushy side, trying to force clients to do what she wants, and not being very gracious when they politely refuse and even meet someone on their own. Reminds me of the money involved in matchmaking.

At least we see a conversation in which modern attitudes affect the young people. They make their own choices and women have careers and don't have to get married in their early 20s anymore. Puts a damper on the traditional matchmaking model.

Edited April 24, 2023 by pasdetrois

[retired watcher]

I was disappointed in the last episode. I wanted to see how more of the couples were doing. 

[Starlight925]

Perhaps there will be a reunion show?

Although why would they want a reunion, as not one couple is still together from this season.  

Yes, Sima is getting aggressive.  I suspect her fees are based on her success rate, so if she spends all this money traveling the world to find a client a match, who then finds someone on their own via an app, Sima is not only out her traveling costs, she can't add that to her success.  

She still gets paid for the work she did, but her future business is at stake.  Kind of like an attorney who always loses.  They still get paid, but the less cases they win, the less likely they'd be to gain future business.

Sima and Patty Stanger (Millionaire Matchmaker) should hang out and drown their sorrows together.  

They are the Blockbuster/Netflix DVD's of dating.

 

Edited April 24, 2023 by Starlight925

[retired watcher]

5 hours ago, Starlight925 said:

 

Although why would they want a reunion, as not one couple is still together from this season.  

 

How do you know no one is together. It looked like 3 couples were going to make it.

[awaken]

Bobby’s parents were so sweet!  “Take the Bobby!” 😂

[Starlight925]

1 hour ago, retired watcher said:

How do you know no one is together. It looked like 3 couples were going to make it.

I’ll put this in a spoiler tag:  

 

Spoiler

The only couple that is still together met on an app.  Sima had no successful matches. The couple that went to India to meet his parents have broken up.  
The ER doctor with the lawyer from NC may still be in contact, but I don’t believe they are an item.

 

Edited April 25, 2023 by Starlight925

[awaken]

How much do we think Sima’s services cost?

[judylo]

3 hours ago, awaken said:

How much do we think Sima’s services cost?

I’m curious too. The clients mostly seem to be loaded!

[awaken]

6 hours ago, judylo said:

I’m curious too. The clients mostly seem to be loaded!

Yes, and I’m sure they pay all of her travel and lodging costs. It seems strange for them to pay so much and not have a match a lot of the time! (At least from what we’re shown.)

[sugarbaker design]

2 hours ago, awaken said:

Yes, and I’m sure they pay all of her travel and lodging costs. 

Of course they do, Sima is essentially a consultant.

2 hours ago, awaken said:

It seems strange for them to pay so much and not have a match a lot of the time! (At least from what we’re shown.)

These parents are desperate to find spouses for their kids.  They'll pay anything.

[Rahul]

13 hours ago, awaken said:

How much do we think Sima’s services cost?

I read elsewhere she charges $20k per client.

[Nancybeth]

It was fun to see someone local! Vikash the ER Doctor lives in Davis which is the next town over from Sacramento, where I live. Do we know if he and the girl from NC ever had another date?

Priya really really annoyed me. I'm glad she was able to work through her issues and get serious with Vim.

And I REALLY hope Bobby found someone!! 

[Scarlett45]

On 4/23/2023 at 6:15 PM, judylo said:

But Vikash pings my gaydar.

Yeah, I didn’t get the impression that Vikash was exclusively attracted to women. That’s his business, and he does seem nice and kind, I’m sure he could meet someone, but dude, you’re 39. Women “your age” are often partnered, divorced or have kids already (if they want kids). Given that he does want kids, he shouldn’t be complaining about a woman being 30. I don’t think Vikash wants a wife, I think he’s lonely. 
 

Bobby was a SWEETHEART, but I knew Priya wasn’t going to be into him. I think he has the highest chance of finding a match through Sima. 

On 4/26/2023 at 11:50 PM, judylo said:

I’m curious too. The clients mostly seem to be loaded!

Yes- her services are for the affluent. This isn’t a “regular person’s” match making service. 
 

I’ve said in previous seasons, the clients are the show are looking for a love match and are using Sima as an introduction service. They aren’t looking for a partner first and letting romantic feelings develop like a more traditional arranged marriage (which is fine, but that’s why I think Sima is aggravated). 

[stewedsquash]

On 5/1/2023 at 2:34 PM, Scarlett45 said:

 

I’ve said in previous seasons, the clients are the show are looking for a love match and are using Sima as an introduction service. They aren’t looking for a partner first and letting romantic feelings develop like a more traditional arranged marriage (which is fine, but that’s why I think Sima is aggravated). 

I agree with the whole quote above. If there is another season I wonder if Sima will adapt to the changes. 
 

I hope there is another season because I want to see more of the tall girl in the last episode. I liked that she called out the guy. 

[Booger666]

On 4/23/2023 at 7:37 AM, Starlight925 said:

So Sima finds him an attractive dentist, yet he doesn't like the fact that, even though she lives in the U.S. (Chicago?), she speaks with an Indian accent.

Vikash also didn’t like the woman who spoke with an Indian accent.  Heard a theory that if they’ve worked hard to assimilate and become “American” they don’t want a partner that doesn’t sound “American” as it could be viewed as a set back of some sort.  

Agree with the previous poster that Vikash doesn’t want a wife, he’s just lonely.

Really like Pavneet and hope she has found someone.

Edited May 4, 2023 by Booger666

[Kiss my mutt]

I think Simba knows she's not doing too well here, given her contemplative sigh and words about this season at the end. She talks about her clients being inflexible but she’s the most inflexible of all. She just wants them to take what she offers so she can add that to her successes and fees.  

[stewedsquash]

@Booger666 I like her also. I couldn’t remember her name when I called her the tall girl. Your post reminded me that the guy jokingly pretended to put her name in wrong on phone. I liked that on the first date he asked her how to pronounce it.

@Kiss my mutt I thought that they showed a melancholy Sima during the last couple episodes. These cultural and generational shifts are a big deal I would think to her. I do think that while she is coming at it from a business angle that she also does want what is best for each person she takes on. I feel for her moving forward

And in moving forward, has anyone seen the new Jewish Matchmaker yet? It just popped up on Netflix. It says From Indian Matchmaker somethingsomething. So I guess behind the scenes people are the same. The trailer made it seem kind of  coarser. I liked Indian Matchmaker mostly for the sweetness of it.

[Irlandesa]

34 minutes ago, stewedsquash said:

And in moving forward, has anyone seen the new Jewish Matchmaker yet? It just popped up on Netflix. It says From Indian Matchmaker somethingsomething.

Yes. I loved the first season probably more than Indian Matchmaker.

[stewedsquash]

Good to know. Is the trailer misleading then? It comes across as more sexualized raunchy from what I saw. 

[Irlandesa]

6 hours ago, stewedsquash said:

Good to know. Is the trailer misleading then? It comes across as more sexualized raunchy from what I saw. 

I guess it depends on your tolerance level. Mine is high so I didn't really notice the ads as particularly raunchy.  Andn I don't really see Indian Matchmaking as sweet as I'm at the point with the show that I don't think any of these people are truly open to a matchmaking process.  They're either trying to appease their parents, want to be on TV or both. There's some of that in the new show too but there are others where I believe their sincerity. There is definitely a bit more openness about sexual desire/sex than we normally get in Indian Matchmaking.  But that's part of its charm.  The participants run the gamut from Orthodox to Reform to culturally Jewish but not necessarily observant.  I don't want too specific but while there's a woman who is open about

Spoiler

needing to feel lust for her partners, there's another dating scenario that follows a "no touching before marriage" practice.

 

Edited May 4, 2023 by Irlandesa

[stewedsquash]

The trailer had a few references to penis and breast sizes. I guess I am just over tv people talking about those two things like it's edgy. If it is not a lot of that talk I will probably be interested in the show. I will check out one episode later tonight. I have Florida Man/Grand Crew/American Auto/Y&R(18 episodes!) to catch up on and don't want to start something else just yet. 

[awaken]

10 hours ago, stewedsquash said:

 

And in moving forward, has anyone seen the new Jewish Matchmaker yet? It just popped up on Netflix. It says From Indian Matchmaker somethingsomething. So I guess behind the scenes people are the same. The trailer made it seem kind of  coarser. I liked Indian Matchmaker mostly for the sweetness of it.

That sounds good!  I’ll check it out!

[Ohmo]

On 8/18/2022 at 8:23 AM, HerkyJerky said:

After being friend-zoned, I can't imagine why Shekar would reach out to Nadia!

I'm binging Seasons 2 and 3 of this show after watching Season 1 several years ago.  Nadia was terrible to Shekar!   He deserves someone much nicer.

 

On 8/21/2022 at 10:42 PM, kitkat68 said:

After binge watching both seasons this weekend, I'm ready to marry Arshneel!

He is lovely, and he also deserves someone much better than that woman who didn't know the location of Ohio in the US.  She was from LA.  I'm from Ohio and have heard that comment more than once in my life. It made her look ignorant and entitled.

[stewedsquash]

@Irlandesa I am halfway through Jewish Matchmaking and you were right! I am glad I took the plunge to watch. The one iffy for me is the Montana guy. He just creeps me out a little (lot). 

[Black Knight]

I finally got around to binging S3 of Indian Matchmaking this weekend.

It took so long for a pronoun to be mentioned during the segment that introduced Vishak that I was really starting to think this was going to be the first time Sima would try to match two gay men.

I can understand Sima's exasperation. Yes, physical attraction is important, but some people come across better IRL than through a photo, and it is also possible for your perception of someone's attractiveness to change after meeting a couple of times. And if you are seriously looking to get married, well, both your looks and your partner's looks are going to change drastically as time goes on. I liked when everyone was pointing out to Priya that men often lose their hair later in life anyway - not that she listened. She got her top-knot desire in Vim, but how is she going to react down the road, because he definitely does not seem like someone who is going to have much hair when he gets older?

Sima's advice to Priya about Vim was good. Priya was totally prepared to pretty much ghost him. And I think it's attitudes like that that contribute to Sima's exasperation. Priya actually listened, though, and had a mature conversation with Vim, and what do you know, it went well.

[Orcinus orca]

Just ran into this after watching Jewish Matchmaking.  Some thoughts.

Sima is just useless.  She doesn't offer anything different than a dating website.  The "face reader" and astrologists were totally ridiculous as was her friend in Delhi.  Her mantra is of "you won't get everything" is undoubtedly true but that's her excuse for her poor choices and blaming failures on the clients.

It seems to me that the clients would be better served to have some communications with potential matches first.  Text, call, write but without having seen the person first.  No pictures, no Facetime, get to know the inner person before basing everything on the elusive "spark" which translates to whether or not the person is handsome/beautiful enough.  Could these yahoos be more shallow?  I guess homely (or short) people don't deserve a chance at a match.

Stop making decisions on one date.  For one thing, how natural can anyone be while being filmed?  The stilted converstations were absolutely cringe-worthy. Given a chance off camera, things might have been very different.  As the Jewish matchmaker says, "date it 'til you hate it".  There should be a minimum number of meetings before blowing someone off. 

At least some of these folk seemed like decent humans.  On the Jewish Matchmaker program, they were the most vapid, shallow people I have ever seen.

[Ohmo]

I'm in the US, and I watch Good Morning Britain on Britbox.

Why, you may ask, is this relevant?

Today, I watched a segment that debated whether the seagull population should be culled in Britain.

One of the debaters was a teacher named Bobby.

I think it's Bobby from Indian Matchmaking:

 

[HerkyJerky]

Bobby was named after Jonathan Livingston, Seagull? OMG, that brings me back! Lol.

[Scarlett45]

On 6/11/2023 at 7:46 PM, Ohmo said:

I'm in the US, and I watch Good Morning Britain on Britbox.

Why, you may ask, is this relevant?

Today, I watched a segment that debated whether the seagull population should be culled in Britain.

One of the debaters was a teacher named Bobby.

I think it's Bobby from Indian Matchmaking:

 

That is Bobby!

[auntiemel]

I’m in the middle of season 2 right now. I watched season 1 when it first came out. I have a couple of thoughts.

Nadia. How does your own medicine taste? It doesn’t feel good when someone is tells you explicitly what they want, you trust them and act accordingly, and then they dump you. Does it????

The guy opening his own restaurant and his girlfriend who had to be “convinced” to sing at the dinner table. One of the cringiest things to ever happen at a restaurant table in a show chock FULL of cringey restaurant conversations. Was the self-satisfied “oh my God I’m so amazing and yet also so humble” facial expression part of the performance of the song? Or does she really just think she’s that good?

Also, them talking about how they have “fun, good” arguments about who is more fashion forward made me pretty grateful I live on the other side of the world from them. The chances that I will ever end up in some kind of situation where I am trapped with them (ie, dentist waiting room, etc) while they have one of their “adorable” debates about which one of them is more amazing are slim. 🤣

In all seriousness, though. I’m glad they found each other. They seem happy, and everyone deserves happiness. So, good for them.

Lastly, Viral being like… “hey, this is a two part question and it might seem mean, but A) why are you so ugly, and B) why are you trying to pretend you’re not? I should have taken you on one of my patented furniture store dates so I could show you a mirror. Sidenote, girls don’t make passes at boys who wear glasses.” was…honestly just horrible. In a show full of Aparna, I never would have guessed the meanest thing ever said would come out of someone else’s mouth.

Also, the more I see Aparna, the more I realize that she’s not actually mean, just incredibly blunt and thinks a helluva lot of herself. Which often comes off as mean, but isn’t really. What Viral said was actually mean.

[Aulty]

I somehow missed that the 3rd series was already out and caught up with it over the weekend. Am I glad we've finally left some of the more annoying cast of series 1 and 2 behind (Nadya, Aparna ...) but by and large the show is really repetitive now, and it's a bit of a damper to find out none of the couples are together afterwards.

I think Sima, who I assume misses the days when matchmaking was about making arrangements with the parents with little input from the to-be-weds, is right that some people need to learn compromise and not dismiss every potential candidate because of a minor flaw.

Did we know already that that pompous brat Pradhyuman (and his family) stand accused of domestic violence against the girl we saw him with in series 2?