Lantern7

*slow clap of appreciation* Mentioning the World Series . . . are we agreeing that whichever team wins gets an asterisk? I mean, anything can happen in sixty games. The Marlins could win a third title. As a Mets fan, that might hurt worse than the Yankees winning #28.

Saw Space Mutiny. I'm understanding why this one is highly regarded as a MST3K episode. Wow, this was a stupid movie. You'd have to wonder why so many mediocre people got together to make something so stupid, and think that they were doing good. With a movie like that, you'd need nonstop riffing, nicknaming of Reb Brown's character, and the counting of Death by Railing. Also, I think those weird alluring dancing alien women might have been inspired by the "Brian of Morbius" episode of Doctor Who . . . only they were younger. And without shame. Maybe I should buy some hula hoops and bury them. If I have descendants, I'd want them to be prepared for the nightlife . . . OF THE FUTURE!

In case you didn’t know, one of tonight’s episode is the one that aired on April Fools Day. In case you missed it, here’s some of what can expect:

Just saw Ash win the inaugural Alola League. Question: given the shorter format and the finalists only bringing out three Pokémon apiece, does that diminish Ash’s victory? Would it be closer to the Orange League and Battle Brains titles? ETA: Also, Guzma and Team Skull are the absolute worst. Those assholes make Jesse and James look classy by comparison.

Something from an upcoming episode of Robot Chicken: Is Descendants really like that? I don't care either way.

I can see this happening. Doesn't mean it actually did, but I can imagine BMP unwilling to move on from Johnny, keeping him as their Golden Boy and giving him a title he didn't deserve. Seriously, if it turned out Jenny was supposed to win the whole purse, or that she was presented with a choice to share the money, I would not be surprised.

Funny115: Mario salutes master impressionist Rodney. The scary thing is I just checked on the site and found the new entry. Didn’t need a heads-up on Facebook.

I’d think one test prior to departure would suffice . . . but that also seems like a horrible idea, even if it seems sound. At this point, I wouldn’t be shocked. And if Jenny did have the choice, I would be profoundly disappointed in her. It’s Johnny, Jenny. He’s more deserving of going home with nada than Sarah and Hunter. And he probably wouldn’t be as butthurt, since his hustles are secured. Not surprised by this, either. I’m guessing that there were supposed to be two episodes covering the final mission, but MTV was too burnt out on COVID and Dee (as well as the opening PSA I refer to as “Dee’s Claimers”) and elected to wrap everything up in ninety minutes. . . . and the mother will be the one to help with the homework. Cory is dumb. Not Josh dumb, of course, but dumb enough. At least the soundtrack rocked.

Does this cross a line? I don't think so . . . but I am weird.

*sigh* Well, that sucked. I said that BMP and/or MTV would have gone with a two-episode finale if Johnny had won. Someone pointed out that COVID-19 and the subsequent quarantine might have shortened it to ninety minutes, along with the Dee bullshit (STILL with the PSA bumper?!?) Also, Melissa competed in all but one mission while pregnant, and one mistake might have killed the show for good. But the lead/lede is that Johnny won his seventh title. He got $500K mostly through luck, and that finally puts him ahead of Ashley in terms of all-time prize money. And he finally broke his string of going home with nothing. Fuck Johnny. This isn't about me doubling down in the face of certain defeat. He's still an asshole, and I firmly believe BMP gave him a decent edit this season by turning the dial down on any asshole behavior. I don't think it was skill that gave him the title. It was a combination of Nelson being stupid enough to believe in Cory, Cory failing at math yet again, and Cory pitting him against Rogan, giving Johnny a somewhat comfy night at the Compound (whatever) compared to Kyle and Fessy. And you just know that he's going to come back whenever the series returns, and he's gonna crow and crow about how great he is. I don't need that. No one needs that. Oh, and Jenny won $500K as well. She becomes the first person to win a title after going to the first elimination since Evelyn & Paula in Rivals. Given that her competition was mainly Kaycee, I say Jenny earned her win. And of course she wore a sports bra to bed. When the cameras shut down, she probably crawled inside her lips to keep warmer. "I gotta win for my daughter." Yeah, Cory, because kids-as-motivation ALWAYS worked for Tony. Idiot. I knew he was fucked when they got to the math. Apparently, a one-minute headstart wasn't enough (which is another problem that needs discussing later). He could've had twenty minutes on everyone else, and he'd still fail. I'm also thinking we only got ninety minutes of finale because the editors had to cut out a lot of footage of TJ ripping into Melissa. I know that she didn't know she was pregnant at that time, but if she wants to come back, I say she'd better get an invite. Seriously, though, I think the show would have been put down without mercy if she had one accident. Even if she had gone to a hospital and nothing bad happened, BMP would've been chin-deep in the shit. Everyone else? Whatever. I'm not caring about Bayleigh quitting one way or the other. Fessy seemed like a nice guy, so we're probably never going to see him again. Once again, nobody from outside the BMP "family" has ever won a title and the money that comes with it. And like Survivor, it's going to be a long time before there's a new season. Even if Mark Long gets his "OG" edition up an running, things would have to be "safe" for a long period before that gets filmed. But unlike Winners at War and the somewhat happy ending of spazzy Tony getting his second title, The Challenge goes away on a sour note. Of course, given that we;'ll be having a two-part Reunion, things will probably get so much worse. Fuck you, Johnny. Fuck you.

Still waiting for Golden Wind to get dubbed, but at least there’s this.

Really? I am not doubting your fandom for a second, but I’m looking at that span, and I see a lot of depressing shit: Tom Seaver getting run out of town, the De Roulet sisters, the Mets getting Seaver back only to lose him one year later (and he winds up winning his 300th game at Yankee Stadium while wearing a glorified softball uni), Doc Gooden testing positive for cocaine, blowing a possible 3-1 lead on the Dodgers in 1988 (in their defense, Orel and the others are on a mission from God that year), Darryl Strawberry and his shit the early-Nineties collapse, “The Worst Team Money Could Buy,” the fall of Generation K, Kenny Rodgers not finding the fucking strike zone to force a Game 7 in Atlanta, the Yankees getting the city for keeps, Doc Gooden pitching a no-hitter in pinstripes, a David Cone pitching a motherfucking perfect game in pinstripes, losing in 5 to the Yankees in the World Series, Beltran looking at strike three to kill the 2006 season, back-to-back epic collapses, losing the last game at Shea in the worst way to kill postseason chances, anything involving the word “Madoff,” Matt Harvey getting run out of town, and so many other shitty things that I can’t remember . . . and this guy is basically The Line for you? Looking at the brief description, it does sound like Team A-Rod would be the better choice, but I can see MLB punishing him for cheating and besmirching the (somewhat already besmirched) game. Once again, I’m not criticizing. I’m just thinking Mets history is already riddled with questionable people as it stands.

I saw Prince of Space, and I feel that I should share something with you guys. Something very personal, something that it has taken me a long, long, LONG time to come to grips. I hope you appreciate me sharing this here. Are you ready? *long and deep sigh, as if I want to pad out the stuff seen when you search your stream* Okay. YOUR WEAPONS HAVE NO EFFECT ON ME Wow, that is a load off my mind! Carry on!

Looks like Seven Soldiers are a thing on this Earth-2. I'm thinking maybe they alone made a leap through time, and that Pat is from the Fifties, which partially explains his "Strange Visitor From Planet Dad" vibe. I don't think a Nebula Man was involved . . . either the original, the Grant Morrison version, or something in between. I am curious if the archers are named Green Arrow and Speedy.

Courtney: Henry, I- Henry: You can't help me! I can move stuff and I can read minds, and people are the absolute worst!! Also, Yolanda made it clear- Courtney; (interrupting) Well, I want to you to meet someone that might change your mind. Beth: (big smile, vigorous waving) Courtney: You've seen Beth Chapel. Now . . . REALLY see her! Henry: Okay . . . (concentrating) This is . . . wow. Courtney: What is it? Henry: This is insane . . . it's like my brain is getting licked by puppies and kittens! And I can hear the Smurfs' theme music in the background! Beth: (to Courtney) That isn't what I'm thinking . . . but on some level, I can totally buy that. Henry: Wait, I'm hearing someone. "I warned you what would happen, you motherf-" YOLANDA!!! Yolanda: DIIIIEE!!!!!! (lunging at Henry with Wildcat claws) Courtney: Damn it, Yolanda! I thought I asked you not to wear the costume if you were gonna do this! Beth: Oh, and Chuck translated the prayer from Mr. Mahkent's parents. It's an interesting cross between "Norwegian" and "sinister"! Henry's going through some shit. Cindy is neck-deep in shit. The ISA has designs on six Midwestern states because reasons. And it looks like Barbara just caught sight of an open can of worms. Either there's going to be a family meeting next week, or Pat is going to have to do some more fancy talking. "Honey, all I know is that you were tired, you were laying on the couch, and then the dog just sat on your face and farted. He did that to me once, I would have sworn I shook hands with Jesus." Off to the comic thread!

Survivor off CBS fall schedule; TAR takes over the 8 p.m. slot.

You know, I'd probably be a lot better with this if A-Rod wasn't involved. In other news, you can get yourself a seat at Citi Field! Sort of. I'm actually tempted to do this. ETA: Another possible nickname for Atlanta's baseball team: Thrashers. Once again, I'm going to the "NHL teams that didn't stick around" well. Given that the other teams are the Hawks and Falcons, bird theme still works.

From what I understand, this week's episode is the finale, and we'll be getting at least one episode dedicated to the Reunion. Of course, it will be virtual . . . I wonder how that would play out. Watching idjits shriek at each other doesn't seem as intense without an audience and if they're miles away from each other. Best guess for a prediction: someone relatively unremarkable wins the $1M. If it were Johnny or Cory, there would have been two episodes. Maybe someone like Fessy or Kaycee?

Listing Easter Eggs. I wasn’t aware of most of ‘em.

I’m just imagining how many people will complain about The Adventures of Pete and Pete getting turned into surreal nightmare fuel. I know, everything is fair game, but that was weird. Good pair of episodes . . . Cold Slither on The Voice, Venom getting too into Hamilton (hey, just in time for Disney+!), Pink Panther taking the mantle of Black Panther, and the horrific fairy (faerie) genocide we accidentally started.

Finally got around to watching this today. Not bad. I can see Phil Keoghan wishing for viewers to see "working-class Americans" spotlighted. Another part of me thinks that Phil made this because there would be little overlap between people who would watch this and those who'd watch TAR. As Lisa Simpson put it, "I'll fill those people so full of sap, they'll be blowing their noses in pancakes!"* *TBH, I don't know if that's the precise quote.

Just wanted to share this. Because the Eighties.

I watched the TWIB episodes from 1977-1978. I started really watching games in 1983 and I followed the Mets, so there were some things that surprised me. Example: I didn't know Bud Harrelson played second base after he left the Mets. Also, Keith Hernandez before the mustache. That was just weird. I think he did shave it off late in his career, but seeing him barefaced in a Cardinals uniform felt unnatural. Also awkward: highlights featuring Bill Buckner. And there was a Phillie named Mike Tyson, which amused me. About the renaming of the Cleveland baseball team . . . how about Barons? I figured that since the Colorado Rockies name was used for their NHL team that wound up moving to New Jersey, maybe Cleveland could recycle their short-lived hockey nickname.

I finally completed Season 11 with At The Earth's Core, and Kinga's ratings-grab wedding to Jonah. Anyone else think that multiple cameras used in MST3K feels unnatural? Bad news for me: the S12 DVD isn't in my library's system. Maybe IFC will start airing "The Gauntlet" episodes? I know Jonah survived the robot Reptilicus, but I would like to see how things wrapped up, in case there's no second revival. Also curious about M. Waverly and/or Growler possibly returning. I read the MST3K comic before watching S11, and I figured they would be more than one-off characters. ETA: And was it ever established what Gypsy was dropping off and picking up in each S11 episode?

"Thanks to top-ranked hero Endeavor, injuries were at a minimum. However, eighty people died of dehydration watching Hawks in action. It has been verified that all eighty died with smiles on their faces and ruined underwear." Endeavor's "beard" is mainly fire? Interesting. Would not have guessed.