the-grey-lady

"How much soda do you drink?" "A 2-liter. Two or three 2-liters." Yeah. One 2-liter does not equal two 2-liters, and it certainly does not equal three of them. Math, Mercedes.

The best thing about the countdown to the new season was it that it gave me the chance to again watch Mother Chantel YELL. IN. HALTING. SPANISH. AS. IF. POORLY. EXPLAINING. SHIT. TO. A. PARTICULARLY. SLOW. AND. ONLY. NOMINALLY. SPANISH-SPEAKING. TODDLER.

I've been absolutely captivated by LaShanta's legs since I watched this episode. I had this niggling suspicion that they reminded me of something, but what? I've finally got it.

You are being so unfair to James and his laygs. It's not his fault that his body doesn't burn calories!

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm looking forward to throwing my hat into the ring come next season (if there is one). I'm going to start taking notes on descriptors for Kody's hair early.

Well, Pounders, the day I have long dreaded is at hand. I always suspected this show would be the death of me. After somehow keepin' on after enduring James K's laygs, Schenee's ice cream sex favors, Penny's bedside wontons, Steven Assanti's "dancing," Nicole's hosedown, and myriad other eye-popping horrors, I knew it was only a matter of time before one last jawdropper did me in. Tonight I watched LaShanta hide fried chicken in her bed. RIP, Grey Lady.

Janelle: I think I got a bit lazy in the cul-de-sac. Me: Don't. Take. The. Bait. *grits teeth* Was it truly necessary to show Kody being ripped away from his soulmate, Caleb, AGAIN? I was still cringing from the first time. Why oh why don't the Browns have any communication skills at all? Kody [about the catfish]: We're moved to Flagstaff, and it's a fresh start, so we don't talk about it, EVER. Me: You never talked about it before! That's the whole problem!

Window coverings? What sort of nincompoops roll the price of WINDOW COVERINGS into their mortgages? Sigh. I know, I know.

Thanks, Auntie Anxiety. I needed a good belly laugh.

I cannot help but watch these two with my jaw open, like in a cartoon. My original read on Nicole and Azan was that he would milk her for whatever cash he could get out of her, and then ghost. I never considered the idea (and I don't think Azan did, either) that she might keep the money train going indefinitely, even if he didn't marry her FOR YEARS. I figured he'd string her along for six months or a year, and then she'd wise up, and he'd move on. BUT SHE HASN'T WISED UP. AT ALL.

Angela: I'm worried Dr. Now is going to tell me I need to lose weight or I'll die. Me: OF COURSE HE'S GOING TO SAY THAT. IT'S TRUE.

Hold the phone! Janelle has discovered the world outside her door! This is right up there with breathing!

I'm reposting my recap here, after I accidentally posted it in the wrong thread. Spoiler tag for length.

Whoops, put this in the wrong place. Moving it now.

Please!

I remember that one! My favorite part was Meri wiping her eye boogers and sobbing about how Mariah didn't even want anythiiiing for Christmas! She just wanted to *gulp* move into the house!

I'd like to tackle episode 11. What's the turnaround time on these? When is the recap due?

Also, his praise of her "mature attitude" seems directly related to the fact that her opinion is exactly the one he wants. The Browns love to sit the kids down and solicit their opinions on various shenanigans, but it's always very clear what the "correct" answer is.

"Some I don't know if I knew" should be Janelle's life motto. Seriously, how many times is she going to get all twitterpatted over the importance of breathing?

Kody: Gwendlyn, how are you feeling about the move? Gwen: Well, I accept that I have no bodily autonomy because my parents are numbskulls, so sure, let's go. Kody: THAT'S SUCH A MATURE ATTITUDE. Me: Shut it, Kody. Quit blathering. Your kids see you for who you are.

If Brandy knows what's good for her (I know, I know), she'll stay gone. Living with Paige would be like sharing a kitchen with Dr. Jeckell and Mr. Hyde. She would spend the rest of their lives letting her jealousy rear its ugly head in whatever fashion pleased her, and then she'd smile placidly and claim to have prayed for peace.

I can't believe Kelly died, while James K still walks among us. Okay, he doesn't actually walk, but you get the idea.

They "decided to stop filming"? I thought TLC fired their asses.

Was anyone convinced by Jinger's faux-shock at learning about Jessa's pregnancy? Me: Wow. It's about time someone in your family finally reproduced.

When Kelly was stuck between the cab seats and Dr. Now was talking about how worried he was that she'd go into cardiac arrest right that second, I felt an ominous foreboding. I don't think I've ever even see him make such a dire prediction about a patient's health -- even heavier patients like James K. How terribly sad. RIP, Kelly.