Irritable

Here's why it doesn't bother me that Barbra (the only IMDB I looked at), Tami and Robert may have been on other shows or movies: The roles listed on Barbra's IMDB were all just as an extra, or a half-step above extra. This does not make her an actor so much as it makes her someone who wants to be on camera, and if being comfortable in front of cameras is part of the reason some of these people were chosen, I don't have a problem with that. Isaiah, Zac and Jeff certainly do not seem like famewhores or professional actors to me, and if this show was really about putting "real" actors into a scripted show that takes place in jail for 60 days, then none of these people would be there. It's one thing to find a group of people willing to do this project, but it's another to find people who are also going to be able to do their interviews well, pretend to be inmates convincingly, not freeze up and constantly look into the cameras like deer in headlights and not panic and ruin the whole thing on day 2. I don't think I would excel at that part of the mission; I would be hyper-aware of being filmed, and also freaked out that I would be shown on television - something I never have wanted. Anyway, this project requires some form of acting, it's pretty much the whole plot.

Tami has come completely unglued and now the real inmates are the ones who sound sane and reasonable when trying to deal with her. I would not have put my money on her to be the first person to lose it halfway through. What a freaking baby she turned out to be, taking her toys and going home, over absolutely nothing. Real nice thing to do for the one woman in the pod she likes and believes has been putting in a lot of work to become a better person. It will crack me up if both Barbara and Maryum answered "Tami" at the end, when the warden asked what the biggest problem was in the jail during their stay. Oh, I hope that wasn't really poor, unsuspecting Jeff getting beaten down by the person who believes everything the TV voices tell him. How terrifying, and especially that it was so obvious what was coming that even the pod leader tried to nip it in the bud. With every episode, I think more and more that I would be like Jeff in this experiment, mistaking people using me as kindness, and thinking I was making progress fitting in, while some delusional rabid wolf paces in the corner, frothing at the mouth to kill me. Isaiah doesn't seem to be doing anything but letting the clock run out. I'm not sure this is going to actually impact his life at all. Dr. Chapman seemed to be struggling to find the most diplomatic and professional way to say Robert isn't crazy, he's just a giant asshole.

Beautifully said, and so succinct. That's everything in a nutshell! She can say it all takes her back to Foster Care days, but this makes a lot more sense. I'm sure foster care was Hell, and I feel bad that she suffered through it her whole childhood, but this just really, REALLY is not the same thing at all. She doesn't want to admit what the real problem is. And there is even a chance that she herself doesn't understand that's the actual reason this is so tough for her. She may not consider herself someone who uses being an officer to wield power, so feeling powerless now could be registering in her mind as something else. As annoying as it is to watch her implode and create unnecessary problems, I can't help but feel bad for anyone who feels that alone.

Not that I know anything, but I sort of got the "on the spectrum" feeling from both of those young men - the one who guessed the puzzle with one letter, as well as the one who demanded to know where his vacation would be. And they both made it to the bonus puzzle, but with VERY different results. The kid last night tried to solve one puzzle with "Daytona Beach, Georgia", and then the bonus round was super obviously "Just Kidding", but he guessed "Just Bidding" and then gave up like it was hopeless. Frustrating to watch!

HaHa! Well said. I was frustrated by everyone going into freakout mode because Zac going to court would BLOW THE WHOLE PROJECT OMG. First of all, saying Zac might panic in court was dumb, because he's the driest, least panicky-seeming person in the entire building. Second, all he would have to do if he even made it in front of the judge would be to keep his mouth shut tight, and when the time came that he was forced to speak just say he has not met with an attorney and has no representation. The judge would then, assuming it ever got that far since it was clearly a paperwork mistake of some kind, call for a reschedule once he has had an opportunity to meet with a lawyer. I will admit it's a pretty crazy coincidence that there are two Zac Hollands in the same facility at the same time. Unless the whole thing was just a bunch of made up bullshit to create drama, and if so, then that would really disappoint me. Still confused over here about what exactly Tami's problem is with Boston. She claims Boston has been trying to push her past her limit since Day 1, but if that were true then wouldn't we have been shown some footage of that? The woman who took Tami's shower shoes on the first day was someone else entirely, and it seemed like Tami just got butthurt because Boston has a swarm of women in the pod who enjoy hanging out with her and don't mind that she bosses them around a little. She was shocked that no one came over to thank her and tell her they respect that she started a stupid yelling fight with Boston over nothing? Learn how to read a room, Tami. Boston has some kind of charm and charisma that works for her in that particular environment, and none of it seemed to be directed toward making Tami's life miserable, until Tami started shit out of nowhere. I don't like Barbara, AT ALL, but I completely understand why she wants to distance herself from Tami. Yes, Tami, Boston and her entourage are loud and obnoxious. That is how they were before you arrived, and has nothing to do with you. Yaz has quite an unrealistic perception of her own "fame". I find Robert as unbearable to watch as Donald Trump. He makes my skin crawl. I know he's way overdoing it with the "This solitary confinement thing is paradise! Best time I've had in my whole life!" schtick because he doesn't want to admit that he was shaking in his little boots in the pod, but at the same time he's taking it so far that I'm starting to really believe there is something seriously wrong with him psychologically. It's one thing to be a weird asshole, it's another to be a lunatic who teaches children. Isiah was a new man after he got a nice shower with some real soap! Isn't it amazing how quickly our spirits can be broken in just a few days by something as simple as not being able to feel clean. He should definitely not go on Survivor. I feel bad for the guy who just started giving away all of his worldly possessions in exchange for small scraps of kindness. This is not the program for him. And I'm not criticizing, because it's not the program for, me, either, but there's no way I would ever consider being a part of it. I did have a giggle when no one would let him use the showers, and somebody said they aren't going to let anyone "disrespect my bathroom". BWAH! (Not laughing that he was humiliated and prevented from using the bathroom, only that there is apparently some kind of inmate code about disrespecting bathrooms, which I did not even know was possible). The woman who jumped from the second floor? That was truly horrifying. And now it makes me wonder why the design of the pod doesn't prevent that - should the railings be higher? Should it be more cage-like on the upper level? Shouldn't someone have seen that she needed to be in one of the suicide watch cells? These are the kinds of things that need to be learned from and addressed, and all based on something that happened in a pod where none of the moles are stationed.

I always love Rachel Dratch on WWHL. I laughed hard when Andy asked Erika Jayne if she was wearing a real fur coat (she was), and then Rachel chimed in with "I'm wearing a dead Muppet".

There is something very wrong with Robert, even beyond his super annoying, "Ah yes, this is all going exactly according to plan!" attitude every time he makes a mistake. It's honestly hard to believe how many different times and ways he managed to screw up in such a short period. He thinks this is going to give him some kind of cool street cred with his students? Sorry, bro, nobody is watching this thinking you're anything more than a giant knob. You could so easily tell the officer who removed him from the cell block has a lot of contempt for him. I think Robert was expecting high fives all around and lots of compliments on his quick thinking with the towel-on-the-camera idea, and it was so great to watch his confusion when he realized he was really going into isolation. So nice of him to give permission for them to punish him for breaking a rule. "I think we can make this work." HAHA! Who's "we", Robert? There's no "we" in solitary. I'm not sure exactly what the true basis was for Tami's outburst at Boston. She said it was because Boston was loud, irritating and thought she was running things, but she also reacted in a way that seemed like a little jealousy (over not being approached to be part of that clique), or resentment (possibly because that group reminded her of girls in school who were maybe not so nice to her). Could be a combination of all three. Unless we weren't shown something that provoked the exchange, I didn't see Boston do anything that really merited Tami bucking up at her the way she did, at the time she chose to do it. I liked Tami the most up until now, and suddenly she seems so immature and unintelligent - the complete opposite of how she came across in the preceding episodes. The kid who already tried to tap out didn't even get the code words right. It was supposed to be "good coffee", not "hot coffee". I don't get what he was so afraid of - he could have used the fact to his advantage that the other inmates knew the system and were trying to help him understand how things were supposed to work, and that he was being screwed over. That means they accepted him, which is frightening and potentially cover-blowing how, exactly? I hope he never goes to jail for real, he would be as ill-equipped to handle being in there without help as I would. It's almost funny to me that Tami and Yaz are so leery of each other.

I think the way Kim manipulated Kimberly into doing this show was by telling her how desperately she needs the paycheck. Kimberly wouldn't want to "be the reason" her mother ran out of money or lost an opportunity for a "job", and Kim knows it. For many years Kim lived off of alimony and child support payments that are now over, so even though the last thing in the world she wants to do is talk about her personal issues on television, the sad truth is that it's the only way she has to make money now. So she agreed to be shown on this season of RH of BH even though it was only to showcase her fractured relationship with her long-suffering sister Kyle (due to her addiction and behavior), and she did Watch What Happens Live, knowing that she would be asked about her arrests, her sobriety, etc., and she did this show somehow believing that it would just be a bunch of trust fall exercises and that she and Kimberly could keep their real issues under the rug. I know it's incredibly painful and scary for her to have no choice but to go against everything she was trained to do and has done her entire life - discuss her shameful secrets in front of the world - just to make a buck. It's really a very sad situation she's in, but when I saw how horribly she treated Kimberly on this episode I lost all sympathy for her. Kim has to eat shit for a living now, but it's her own fault, these are the consequences for her actions, and she deserves to pay them, but her sweet daughter does not. Kimberly probably figured you know what? I'm feeling comfortable here, things are going pretty well, I'm going to go ahead and do what we are being asked to do, and tell my mom how I feel in a gentle way because this is a safe environment to do so, and then she was punished for it. Good for Kimberly for standing her ground and refusing to leave every time her mom started manically packing and saying they were going to leave, I know that probably wasn't easy because their history has probably involved a LOT of frantic fleeing from situations that made her mom uncomfortable. The second Kim starts to feel an icky emotion her instinct is to get mad and finger-pointy at whoever made her feel it, then storm away. Kyle probably can't help but feel a bit of vindication that Kim's hideous reactions to Kimberly were shown, so that people finally got a glimpse into why maintaining a healthy relationship with Kim is impossible. My life growing up was also about keeping all of the things going on in our family a secret. I was an only child raised by a physically abusive parent who was a raging alcoholic with untreated bipolar disorder. My other parent just stayed gone 99% of the time to not have to deal with any of it. I was basically threatened with death if I dared to tell anyone what was going on in our house, and the façade presented to everyone "on the outside" was that we were fine, everything was great, definitely no problems here. This meant that I had a lot of issues and confusion when it came to socializing, I was terrified to have friends over, I had no skills when it came to coping with negative emotions other than to just freeze in fear of saying something wrong and having the whole brick wall come tumbling down on my head. Once, in a moment of desperation, I told a trusted teacher something that had been done to me. The outcome was that I was portrayed to my teacher as a liar, and the punishment for that breach of secrecy was so severe that I never asked for help again, not even when police were called by our neighbors. The list of secrets you have to keep over time just gets longer and more complicated, which can make you seem like a real freak to people who don't live that way, because even the most innocent question from someone would throw me into a tailspin, and I would completely freeze, too scared to answer for fear of saying something wrong. It took me a while to understand that not everyone had to do this, and once I realized it I became even more afraid that one funny blink of my eyes would reveal something, might make people curious, someone might wonder what was wrong with me and start poking around. To this day, my husband gets frustrated and sometimes asks before we see certain people "what am I not allowed to talk about?". While I am MUCH better, and my secrets are mild and actually still are only about other members of my family and not myself, I know that it's something that will be ingrained in me forever. I will always feel ashamed by and responsible for things that are not my fault, I will always have to fight the urge to hide when the doorbell rings or leave a social situation when someone's well-intentioned questions make me clench up, I will always want to present myself in a way that seems "perfect" even though I know it's impossible. In spite of all this, I came out of it rather "normal", considering everything. So for me, Kimberly is the one I strongly relate to and feel most sorry for, even though their relationship is portrayed as the "best" or "strongest" of the group. I know that she will never be free of the fears and responsibility she feels for her mother (she will still feel this way even after her mother dies), but it's encouraging to see that at this young age she seems to be coping pretty well, and is able to see things as they truly are. It would be easy to become codependent and not forge out into the world to live her own life because she "needed" to be there for Kim all the time, but she's not letting her mother keep her a total emotional captive, thank goodness. I do also really feel for Heidi and Courtnay. I never saw Heidi on The Hills and don't know what she looked like before all the surgery, but because I have nothing to compare her to I think she looks really beautiful now. Considering how much bad plastic surgery happens out there, I think she came out well, but of course her mother isn't going to be in favor of so much change...who would want to see their child get a whole new face? That could not have been easy, and it's not like Heidi was disfigured or even ugly before, I assume, because she wouldn't have been on a show full of pretty people if that were the case, so of course it would hurt her mom to see her do all this to herself unnecessarily. But, Heidi would never have done it if she weren't so terribly insecure about herself, and obviously there isn't enough plastic surgery in the world to fix that. Therapy is definitely what she needs, and I hope after this show she continued with more, either on her own or with her mom. To me, she comes across as a sweet person who can't figure out how to be satisfied with herself, and clearly her mother is not great at making her feel "good enough". I'm sure she tried in her own way, but sometimes parents just aren't able to be what we need, and this is why therapy exists. I have hope for Heidi, and her mom isn't a giant asshole, so once Heidi finds a way to be happy with herself I'm sure their relationship will improve. Courtnay on the other hand...I think the best thing for her is not to get closer to her mother, but instead to get the fuck away from her. As far as possible. Narcissism can't be cured and is nearly impossible to treat with success, and her mom clearly does not believe she has ever done anything wrong because narcissists never do, so Courtnay is never going to get what she needs from that vile woman. I hope she can come to accept that and try to move forward without her. I would also love to see her get out of that bizzaro marriage, get her gruesome implants reduced by a lot, find someone who can fix her hair, and then maybe find a nice guy closer to her own age. I think the only actual problem in Natalie's relationship with her mother is that Natalie is a garbage person who is incredibly selfish and awful to be around. What is a good thing about Natalie? Can anyone think of one genuinely good, worthwhile quality that she has? I sure can't.

Yes, I thought that was a bit much, too. Surely he knew when he went back there that it was the room where the snakes and other creatures were kept? Did Ron lure him to the back by promising lollipops and girly mags, only to ambush him with a caged snake, and that's why the "son" got so angry and nearly killed innocent people on the road while screeching insanely out of the parking lot, never to be seen again? It said at the end he was still "struggling" (???) and has not spoken to Ron since the cleanup. I mean, I have a thing about spiders, they make me lose my ever loving mind, so I get irrational phobias, but good grief, man, get a grip. I wonder, when they showed the pictures of Ron and his wife from happier days...how did he manage to lock that down? She was quite beautiful, and certainly came across as a sane and normal person in the few minutes she was shown. What was it about Ron that she decided was marriage material? He just seemed so icky to me, all hoarding aside. I felt really badly for Sybil. She wasn't mean, and she wanted help. She was humiliated, and once it was decided that all the contents in her home would just be shoveled out for the dumpsters, I can completely understand why she wanted to go lay down with her cat friends and feel sad. When she kept saying what's the point of me watching everything I own get thrown away, I didn't think Dr. Green was very convincing when all she could come up with was "It's the process". On a funny note, Sybil had nice skin, and her face didn't look as "old lady" as the rest of her did, so my brain kept imagining her as Estelle Getty playing Sophia on The Golden Girls. I hope very much that she sleeps in her nice, new bed, with her cats, and never gets out of control like that again. I also felt bad for the mouse that was pitched out into the yard like a flying missile. It's not the mouse's fault that it lived there, you could be a little more gentle, fuckface. GRRRR.

As I grow older and hopefully wiser, I usually find myself being better at allowing myself the understanding that mentally ill people sometimes do awful things, and that I should try hard to have sympathy for them instead of anger or hatred. But in the case of this woman, I am completely incapable of sympathy. She is a monster, and I feel so badly for her children. If I found out my parent had knowingly, slowly murdered more than 2 dozen animals, I would likely have to do some time in heavy therapy to work through my feelings of secondary guilt, or guilt by association, or whatever it's called when you are crippled by shame from something a family member has done. I should not have watched this episode. Seeing the dog skeletons still perfectly curled into the sleeping shapes they were in when they finally, mercifully died means I am guaranteed nightmares for the next several nights. That was some unspeakable horror, and a lot more than I am able to handle. Connie also sucked, but she benefits by being paired with Peggy, because I have exhausted all my ire and don't have enough strength left to rant about the many reasons and ways that she sucked.

See, I always thought the women were using "I hear her man is gay" as an insult to the woman, not so much the man they say it about. Nene tried to claim on WWHL that she said something about Chris because he made her mad on a bus ride that wasn't shown, and that's why she was in on it, but I'm not sure I believe that. This particular franchise has always run to the "oh yeah? well, you married a gay man" dig the instant one of these women gets mad at each other. It really is ironic since there has been such a large presence of actual gay men in their lives, and you would think these gay men would have something to say about "gay" being thrown around as an insult. Andy Cohen definitely does not appreciate it. Even when Kenya sort of apologizes, she does it in such a snotty way that I still want someone to throw a pie in her face. Everything about her personality grates on my nerves, and the 10 seconds of sympathy I had for her after finding out the situation with her mother is long dried up. Considering every time someone tries to point out that her life really isn't fabulously twirly, she starts to shout over them so no one can hear the truth, so she's got no leg to stand on when she says Kim is trying to portray her life as perfect. Throwing in that comment about IRS problems was so far beyond tacky. She's just horrid.

When the Most Eligible Bachelor got choked up at the end, and said it was like walking into his dream, I lost my shit. He just seemed so nice throughout the whole process, and I loved what they did with his house, so I was already primed to get a little misty at the reveal, but dang. Sweet and adorable. I hated the basketball court, but I'm sure he and his friends will enjoy it for a few years, until they are old enough that playing jarring sports like volleyball and basketball becomes painful and makes them sore for a solid 2 days afterward. I think for resale it's a terrible idea, it's an eyesore (it had to be bright blue?), and the back yard just didn't look at all right for a sports blacktop that seemed to be placed arbitrarily. But the way the house was done, if I were his future bride I would be very happy with it - I thought it was just the right amount of masculine without being a macho punch in the face. There are lots of ways to add some feminine touches that could exist in harmony. And I'm sure JoJo could be $convinced$ to come back and help with some decorating ideas, if it came to that.

Everyone seemed to think Cecil's wife did not know about the stash. Which was also kind of sad, because she worked so hard her entire life, retired fully vested from not one, but two jobs, and never spent a fun penny on herself. I wish they could have done something nice with the cash together, like go on a cruise, but they were very rural folks, who didn't at all care to venture out even as far as the nearest big city. Both were born, raised and laid to rest in their little town, having hardly ever left it. Yes, mutilated, that was the word I couldn't think of! As long as the gross bills are destroyed, which is what the Fed does with it once received from the banks, then there aren't 2 bills representing the same value in circulation, so it all cancels out. Cecil wasn't in a physical condition to leave the hospital at the time he was restrained. His body was in septic shock by that point, and he had not even been able to walk he was so weak, but I guess when he heard he wasn't going home the adrenaline must have kicked in and he got some of that superhero strength you hear about, like when women pick up cars off of their children. I'm sure that adrenaline rush, and its subsequent drop, led to his organs failing that much sooner than they would have. Such a shame to not be able to have peaceful thoughts at the end, all over a secret that didn't really need to be a big deal at all. Which now makes me wonder, do all hoarders go through this anxiety when they are on their deathbeds? Did my mother? Were some of her most final thoughts a panic because she knew her death would mean people would be going through her hoard, dismantling it, judging it? Or was she relieved, in a way, to know that she would not have to do it herself? Would the feelings of being overwhelmed by her hoard, wanting to get rid of it herself but not knowing how or where to begin, go away once she realized it was out of her hands, and not really her problem anymore? I hope so. I know she had the aforementioned anxiety up until about 3 weeks before her death, because she had fought me about going into her house even then. It was a similar situation, she was in hospice care and wouldn't be going back in her house again (although I never actually told her that), so in order to get things for her and feed her cats, she had to let me use her key and go inside. But when I would come back, she was always very hostile, accusing me of taking a long time and it must have been because going through her things and throwing valuables away. You know, because I didn't understand the difference between valuables and trash, it was all the same to me, pearl necklaces and rotten food would go in the same garbage bag if you left me in charge. So she finally said she wanted her "friend" to have the key instead of me - a woman she had known only a couple of years, but that she KNEW she could trust, because this woman would wheel her outside for cigarettes at the chemo center, and I wouldn't. That's how you can tell who really cares about you, see... it's the person who indulges the smoking habit that gave you the very throat cancer you're fighting. Anyway, after access was taken from me and given to this "friend", my mom soon went into a kind of permanent sleep. Not really a coma, exactly, but her body finally relaxed, for the first time I had seen in years. She slept without thrashing or crying out. She seemed to be in a peaceful state, but of course I can't know what was going through her mind. I had not realized that one day she would close her eyes and never open them again, but still be alive, for weeks, essentially causing two grieving periods instead of one. I wish someone had warned me about that, because I kept showing up every day, waiting for her to wake up so I could talk to her. During that time, I decided to go by her house, just to check on things, with the copy of the key I had made and not told my mom about. What I found was that her "friend" had stolen all of the antique silver serving dishes and cutlery from the breakfront in the dining room. My mother grew up in a household with money, and inherited an abundance of extremely nice pieces. Inside the breakfront they had all become tarnished, but were in otherwise perfect condition, somewhat protected from the chaos going on in the rest of the house. And now they were all gone. I had to call the police, file a report, she was required to return them, but not having an inventory list of what had been there before, I couldn't say for sure which pieces she had not given back, but I knew there were several. I mean, before the house became a hoard, we used to have Thanksgiving dinners where every person (enough for up to 10) got their own little silver set of salt and pepper shakers. It was THAT much fanciness. I guess I'm glad Mom never knew her trustworthy friend had robbed her blind, but I can't lie, there was a small, bitter part of me that wished she had been awake for me to have told her. Of course, the satisfaction I would have expected would have instead been regret, because no doubt the part of the story my mom would have been mad about was me making a copy of her key, and going into her house without permission, so I guess it's for the best all the ugliness happened without her knowledge.

I have 2 new hoarding stories to share - one is sad, and the other is also sad, but less so, with an intriguing twist. First, the saddest one: The manufacturing company for which I worked for 20 years had independent sales rep offices in every state, that had for decades been allowed to run their own offices any way they wanted as long as certain profit numbers were reached. Often, these reps would have to correspond with one another because some jobs and sales would overlap territories, or commission would have to be split based on some other criteria. For 18 of those years, I knew that every afternoon a pile of typed letters would come rolling over the fax machine from one of the old-school Florida sales reps. He was constantly in fear that other reps were trying to cut him out of money he was entitled to, and the letters were semi-polite-ish bullet point lists of questions designed to shake out any potential pennies on every possible job that he might have had even the tiniest whisper of credit due. It got to the point that no one paid these letters much heed, because they were badgering and insulting, and only 10% of the time was he due anything at all. But every day, he sat at his desk on his typewriter and pounded out these DID YOU SCREW ME OUT OF COMMISSION??? letters, like his whole company would crumble if he didn't faithfully pursue this lost money that may or may not be out there with his name on it. I remember he came to visit our office once, and was boggled by the small size of our suite compared to his. "But, where are all your filing cabinets??", he nearly yelled at me in horror, so I showed him the conference room which housed exactly 6 cabinets that were purged at the end of every year. He said his office had 3 file rooms, each wall covered completely in cabinets and shelves stuffed with copies of every document that has ever made its way into their space. They printed out hard copies of every order and fax. They filed mail. All of his bullet point letters were present in one of those rooms. They made copies of copies and then cross referenced them into separate files, just in case one set ever went missing. I nodded and smiled as he bragged about all the paper they had managed to stuff into his office space, and asked what he would do with all of it if they ever move. He told me that they almost had to move once, when the owner of the building decided to sell, so he bought the building himself, just so he wouldn't have to. He spent a million dollars to preserve his hoard of worthless, yellowing paperwork. Over many years, the parent company had been gradually transitioning all of the sales offices to one centralized computer program for everything, and most of us loved that. Less paper! So much easier to look up information! Yay for technology making our lives easier and more efficient! Only... the Florida rep was not happy at all about this. He dug in his heels, refused to comply, made a lot of noise complaining and trying unsuccessfully to find allies to fight The Man, and continued to try to run his office using typewriters and fax machines, until things finally reached a point where the parent company had to throw their weight around and force him to comply, or lose his territory. In response, he committed suicide in his office parking lot. He left a note, and from what I was told, he alluded to part of his reason being that he had lost control of his own company, and would not be turned into a slave of paperless technology, forced to use a computer system that he did not agree to. When his office staff had to start going through everything, it was discovered that he had rented many warehouse spaces in the area. Inside those spaces? More files. In his home? A million boxes of files. At his brother's home? More boxes of files. So when the psychologists on the show back off as soon as some of the hoarders get really agitated, and say they don't want to push them into doing something drastic, this is what they mean. If you corner someone with this disease too abruptly, and with no compromise, they WILL chew off their own leg, or worse, to get away. The less-sad story: My closest friend's grandfather recently passed away, at the age of 97. He had lived in the same tiny house in Texas for 70 years, most of those years spent with his wife. After she passed, everyone expected he would follow shortly after, because she had taken care of him his whole life and you hear about these elderly couples often dying within days or weeks of each other. But, somehow he managed to hang in there, and insisted that he would stay in their home by himself, despite the fact that he was almost completely deaf and blind. It was known that he had quite a healthy amount of money in savings, and his family being scattered all over the country and unable to do it themselves, encouraged him to hire someone to come to the house every week to do his cleaning, laundry, and prepare meals for him, but he was adamant that he didn't want "strangers" in his house, stealing his things. It seemed odd, because there were no valuables in the home whatsoever. The sofa was probably 50 years old, and it was what he called "the new sofa". He and his wife had always lived a no-frills life, and he was quite proud of the fact that once he was on his own, he got by on $7,000 per year, which included his food, utilities and taxes. He once threatened to call the police at a hardware store because a cashier had shorted his change by one cent. I remember him telling that story when I was a kid, during the summer I stayed with my friend at their house, about how she "tried to rob him", and thought he wouldn't notice because he was old, but HE DID BY GOD, and he made sure the owner knew what she was up to. He eventually became very ill, and had to be kept in the hospital for a long period of time. When it was said that he probably would never be able to go home again, he got so upset that the poor man had to be put in restraints, which was HORRIBLE. His family assumed he must have been developing dementia, because he was never one to thrash around and become physically violent ever before. After he passed away, some family members, including my friend, were emptying his house. There wasn't a whole lot to do, the house was so sparse, and what few pieces of furniture there were just got taken to the curb. But in a musty little storage space under the utility room floor that she had nearly forgotten about, she found a lockbox. Inside, that lockbox was packed solid with wads and wads and wads and wads of cash. As she pulled each fistful of money out, her sister would straighten and sort the bills. They smelled horrible, like mildew, and were in pretty rough condition. By the time the box was empty, there was around $12,000 on that table, in denominations of $1, $5, $10, $20 and $50. The currency was so old that it was out of circulation, and would not be accepted as authentic if presented as payment in retail stores. For whatever reason, and I assume it's because he was alive during The Depression, he had secretly hoarded money, and it never came to be of any use to him. It was divided up between the closer family members, and everyone got nearly a thousand dollars each of this stinky old cash to do with as they pleased. The only catch was that it first had to be taken to a bank and traded in for new currency. It was a shock to find, and somewhere in the middle of making piles of all that money to count, they were laughing hysterically at the absurdity of it all, and in the end, everyone got a nice little gift from Grandpa Cecil. The only part that really bothers my friend was realizing that the reason he was beside himself when the doctor said he would never go home again must have been because he knew all that money was hidden, and he had spent his whole life hiding and protecting it. It had to be why he refused to hire help - he was afraid it would be discovered and stolen. He didn't even have a chance to tell anyone it was there, he died very suddenly at that point. Hopefully somehow, somewhere out there, he knows that it wasn't taken by thieves in the night. I saw one of the dollar bills myself, and WOW, it really did smell atrocious. My friend said that in the middle of counting, when they would come upon a $1 or $5 in particularly deplorable condition, they would yell, "THROW THAT IN THE TRASH! WE DON'T NEED IT!" and then dissolve into fits of laughter again. It's actually too bad their grandfather didn't get to join in on those laughs, but I think maybe he wouldn't have been so amused at the idea of them throwing away money he so carefully hid away in the 1960s and '70s. There was also plenty of discussion about how he came to be in possession of the money in the first place It was clearly not from a bank robbery, and he probably wasn't selling drugs. It's a mystery!

I think at Cara Maria's core, she is, more than anything else, loving, caring and kind. Her guilt over hurting Abram, and in such big, publicly humiliating ways, is probably what makes her think what she wants is to be back with him. The need and urge to make it better, to gain forgiveness and end his pain, is presenting in her mind as desperate love, and while I know she does love him and probably always will, it's not the right kind of love to build a life together. I also wonder how these aftershows are filmed...if they are done back to back, which would make the most sense from a cost standpoint, and the participants change clothes if they appear in more than one of them, then she would still be really upset because the whole thing with Abram on that stage had just happened. Hopefully once some time passed, if they didn't get back together, she got stronger and accepted that they just aren't a healthy match for each other. She's incredibly strong physically, but inside is so soft. I can't hate on her for that, I am the same way, except that I am also soft on the outside. The thing that concerned me watching tonight was how totally miserable she seemed, in a way that I was reading as possibly more than "just" what had happened with Abram, and maybe that she lost the final and wasn't able to wear a poker face about it. At the very end, when the host was talking about the final, they showed everyone else's face except hers, and on the pan-out, she was looking down and seemed broken. I hope I'm wrong, I would like for her to win this. Having money would help her feel more secure looking at a future on her own two feet.

Aneesa sure is mean when she drinks. Seems like when she really gets into it with someone, alcohol has been consumed, and later when she tries to get all philosophical and wise, there is always a glass of wine in her hand. I thought Cara Maria showed a lot of grace in what she said to Aneesa after she beat her in the pit. No one would have blamed her for rubbing it in her face. Also, during another more normal time, when CM wasn't worried about going into the pit, and angry because she had to go into the pit, I think she would have let Aneesa's comments about her accent roll off her back, because that really was some stupid shit. It's interesting how much timing can affect how far arguments go. I would like to see CM win, but for some reason I don't have a good feeing about it. I just can't get excited about the new guys making final 3. The blonde guy is certainly nice enough and a good competitor, but I don't know him, and I loathe his cousin. I hope Rhianna loses Aneesa's number after this. She's really not worth trying so hard to win her attention. I wish she would have stopped saying she was going to try hard to win for Aneesa and started saying, "Since Aneesa's being a hag, I'm going to try hard for myself, because I want the money!" Sorry your cousin wasn't one of the Cool Kids that you deem worthy of your time, Aneesa, but she seems to have been very well liked, a very kind person, and from what they showed on the flight with her and Cara Maria, a lot of fun. Getting an extra meal for the snack-passenger was hilarious.

I hope they back off with all the pressure on Lace to commit to being on BiP. I would think that situation would undo whatever progress she is making on her self confidence...some VERY confident people have walked out of there feeling like unwanted piles of garbage. and I'm not sure I want to see Lace completely unglued. I appreciate her self-awareness and that maybe these dating shows just aren't the best place for her. Let the poor woman be! I always enjoy Molly and Jason, which is not what I would have expected considering how awful I thought they were when Melissa was dumped on TV, with Molly waiting behind the curtain to come take her seat while it was still warm. But in the end, everyone involved ended up in love and happy, and it did make for some GREAT television, so now I'm perfectly happy to see them as what seems to be a very happy and functional, truly normal couple come to out of all this. I love Paget Brewster, and wouldn't mind her coming back a time or two. How funny that she actually visited the BiP resort and had a margarita and photo with the bartender! Could really do without the super awkward Skype visitors.

I love that they utilized Adam Driver so much. He did a great job! Not sure what it says that the best thing to come out of the show GIRLS is a man, but I really enjoy Adam in everything he does, so thanks Lena Dunham, for giving him visibility so that he can go on to bigger things. The Undercover Boss sketch was fun.

Oh lord, he was the one who put you in the wheelchair? I understand you forgiving him, though. They were created to be charming and adorable just so we would still want to help them even when they accidentally try to kill us. I have an indoor cat that currently is afraid of rain to the point that she is rendered unable to use the litter box because, I figure, it's in a room where the rain can be kind of loud, so she pees and poops in the guest bath tub. There are worse places she could do it, so I don't get mad since it's easy to clean up, but in almost every Hoarders episode you have someone with poop in their tub, so it's alarming. Granted, theirs is usually human poop, but still. I saw while on Pinterest the other night that I have now got over 8,000 pins. That's a lot, I think? So I might be an electronic hoarder, but at least everything is organized and out of the way.

My poor husband will cringe when I tell him that it was closed captioned as "Star Wars Bible Verse Club", because he's in the 501st, and people who are in it tend to think of the organization is being huge and famous. I, however, am not into it, that stuff is just not my jam, so I find it incredibly funny. But in defense of the 501st, they all spend STUPID amounts of cash making their own characters, and raise huge amounts of money solely for charity - my husband's garrison dedicates most of their charity funds to the Children's Hospital of Atlanta. It's overall a good thing, the 501st, but that people are now out there thinking there is a club of folks who gather together to read and worship some kind of Star Wars Bible really makes me giggle. So why was the one guy always wearing that stupid headband, even in his flashback photos? I sort of hope it's to cover a tattoo, or scar, or maybe to keep the top of his head attached, because if that's a fashion statement that he doesn't leave home without, then that's a gimmick I can't really get behind. It's not even thick enough to be of help if he sweats excessively, so it has to be decorative. One thing I like about this show is that I almost always agree with whomever the judges send home at the time they do it. No stressing because someone who did a great job got cut for reasons that were unfair. I never have favorites until at least halfway through the season, because it takes me that long to tell them all apart.

OH MY GOD, I needed this happy news so badly right now. Hallelujah!

That was a great tutorial, and I'm going to make some for the stray/ferals that we feed as well! Love the idea, and it's within my sewing talent level!

Thank you so much, Cherrio, I really do appreciate your feedback and kind words! I've got an appt. with my orthopedic surgeon tomorrow, and I've already written my list of questions so I don't forget to cover anything. I tend to downplay problems when it comes to myself for some reason, so without the list he would probably say, "How have you been doing since the procedure?" and I would say, "Fine! Great! Sorry to take up your time, goodbye!", then drive home cursing myself for not telling him that on some days I still can't even reach far enough to wipe properly after peeing, much less make a grocery run. (Sorry for the TMI!) Meanwhile, I keep looking around and see all these chores I want and need to do, but find myself crawling under the covers for a self-indulgent cry instead. As we know, depression and hoarding go hand in hand, and depression is also in my genes, so maybe being hyper-aware of all this will help me not let myself spiral down into my own episode of Hoarders where they start out showing old photos of my once immaculate home, and then talk about the back injury that changed my life forever, as I am shown sitting in a filthy recliner that also serves as my bed in the middle of a mountain of debris. I'm really starting understand how it can happen, which is what I wanted to learn from watching the show, not from real life. I've honestly been thinking about hiring a housekeeper to come once a week until I am capable of doing everything myself again. I swore I would never do that, but giving in is better than letting scuzz build up on the floors and cobwebs swing from the ceiling. Not that I'm there yet, but I'm just forecasting and remembering things I've seen and wondering how many days away I am from having a bathroom that makes people recoil. As it is, I've been "cleaning" my shower floor by pushing around a Magic Eraser with my foot, and begging my cat to scrub all of our baseboards since she's already down there anyway, but so far she's pretending not to understand English. edited to add: Last night I was watching The Bachelor (I'm revealing a lot of my secret shames here, lately!), and a question was asked what was the most romantic thing you've ever done. I started to think back to everything my sweet Mr. Irritable has done for me, and decided that it had to be the weeks he spent helping me clean out my mother's hoard without ever complaining. There is no amount of flowers and diamonds that could even come close to that powerful gesture of love.

I was excited about the new season of Hoarders, because I need a huge boost / shove toward making my 2016 To-Do list of purging, organizing and cleaning happen. But instead of inspiring me, I'm left feeling bummed out and not at all charged up to get my house in perfect shape. These hoarders are so mentally ill that it's not really even about the hoarding. I've noticed myself doing some weird things the last few months, like shuffling something from here to there "temporarily" without really knowing where I want it to live. I have a corner in my craft room of things I want to sell, but I haven't sold them, they just sit there. I only just put up our Christmas decorations. We have more coffee mugs than our cupboard can hold but instead of getting rid of some, I have put the extras on top of the refrigerator, and things on refrigerators used to be a pet peeve of mine. I don't unpack our suitcase from trips for several days. My pantry has somehow become stuffed to capacity. It's scaring the crap out of me, because I know I've got the hoarding gene, and maybe I've come to the part of my life where I have to start fighting it really hard? I'm not sure if it's that, or if I have only started doing this since I got a rather severe back injury in September. Regular chores have become enormous tasks for me, and what used to take me a day now takes two or more because I can only stand, walk around and sit in a chair for short periods of time. I'm taking some fairly heavy pain medications. so it could be making my decision making a little fuzzy, as well. My hope is that once I'm better that I will stop doing these things, but I don't know when that will be. Maybe it's plain laziness, and not hoarding. I truly cannot tell. The fact that I was not inspired to action by 4 episodes in a row of Hoarders is very disconcerting to me.

I know, right? That house was really special and extra hard for me to see hoarded up. The window seat alone...what I wouldn't give to have a window seat like that!