Irritable

I lost count of how many times I rewound and rewatched Cary’s impersonation of Kameron pushing D’Andra’s 747 dashboard buttons. THE BEST. I love Cary and want her to be my new best friend. Brandi’s plan to drink until LeeAnne admits to calling her an alcoholic was a bit ... nonsensical, but it made watching her try to deal with whatever the hell was going on with Kam very amusing. I don’t know how anyone can stand to be around Kam for 5 minutes, drunk or sober. She’s the actual worst and I have yet to see anything of substance or quality about her.

I mean, that win was such a load of bullshit, but congratulations I guess.

I’ve watched these challenges since their inception, faithfully. This is the only season that I hate. I hate the format. I hate the people. I hate the redemption house. I hate the fighting. I hate how long it’s taking. I hate all of it. Everything. Hate. I will watch next season, but I really need for it to be nothing like this one.

Tamra is horrible. Twerking is bad enough when young fit women are doing it right. Just stop. The only ones who made the trip all about Shannon were the ones talking nonstop about Shannon. She even hid for a full day and they still bitched. I am so overdone with Gina and Emily. Can we put them on a small boat with Tamra and just send them out to sea? Why don’t I have anything bad to say about Vicki from this episode? This concerns me deeply.

That’s exactly what I said to my husband, that episode wrecked me. He sort of makes fun of me when I cry at shows and movies, but I couldn’t help myself ... absolutely heartbreaking. She “got” everything she wanted, her entire family whole and healthy, only to realize in terror at the end she had been tricked. Poor, sweet Nell.

Ok, I had recorded the 2011 episodes when they were on the other day, and just finished them. Teresa only got worse and worse! By the season finale I was seething, and now want her to leave the country with Joe but let their girls stay here, maybe live with Joe and Melissa. I know that would never happen, but I would feel much better if it did. I don’t understand how anyone can bear to be around Teresa, I honestly don’t. On that vacation to Punta Cana, putting on her bikini fashion show, always needing to be the center of attention, desperately trying to be sexier than Melissa (AS IF), picking fights with Kathy, squealing that she knows she’s the best mommy ever. Taking nasty digs at her friends and family in her cookbook was so low, and then claiming what she wrote were jokes because everyone says she’s so funny like Lucille Ball? First of all NO, and second of all, ugh, shut up! She is repulsive, Joe is repulsive, and while I don’t wish them on Italy either, I think the U.S. has had more than its fair share of those two mega assholes.

Is Calli on some kind of drug at the party? What the hell is she doing? Asia has a lot of complaints about how bad everyone else is at finding their match considering she has only expressed the slightest sign of interest in one guy so far. Moe is too good for this gross game. Or this gross cast. Or both. I’m annoyed by this change in flow where we don’t get the Troof Boof and then Beam Ceremony in the episode like before.

Watching the reruns from 2011 that are on today has reminded me of two things: 1. This franchise used to be really good and worth watching. 2. I had forgotten how truly horrible Teresa was from the beginning, just a nasty person to the bone. Watching her and Joe get their comeuppance was mighty sweet, but like others have said here, once she came back, I had to tap out. I’m not interested in the newer cast members, because the family dynamics between the early cast was what made this franchise interesting and genuine. Now, from the previews, it looks like just another season of women screaming at each other. As Ashley once said about not giving her parents Christmas presents, “Whatever.” i teared up all over again watching the Wakile kids give Kathy the laptop to use starting her new business...the things they said were so beautiful and sincere. I feel bad for the Guidice girls about Joe being deported, but that’s where my sympathy ends.

Steve may be nice when he’s getting his way, but that is not a true measure of a person. When he’s making insane demands and acting like a petulant child in Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory when they can’t be met, he is absolutely vile. No amount of money excuses that behavior. Kate continues to be my favorite, and I would watch a spinoff show of her just making witty observations on basically anything. This lovely, talented chef is putting ALL previous Below Deck chefs to shame. And he does it with such a calm, cool demeanor! I enjoy this much more than Ben’s rage and regret pattern when he’s stressing and taking it out on whoever is close by. There is some obvious misogyny happening on deck, and I don’t think it’s cool at all to bitch and moan about Rhiley asking questions to make sure she is learning the right way to do things. The see through dress with no bra was maybe not the smartest choice of apparel if she wants to be taken seriously, though. Yes, she can wear whatever she wants, but if she also wants to not be treated differently because she’s a woman then why make such a big nipply I AM A SEXY WOMAN statement right out of the gate? Just seems to me like that would only serve to get in her own way. i would love more footage to help give me a clearer idea of how big this Yacht is, and what it looks like all over. I don’t pick up much from quick flash shots, which makes watching previews for almost any show nearly useless to me. I need to see something for a good two seconds to really know what I saw.

This season is physically painful to watch. Asia, he didn’t tell you you’re ugly, he said he wasn’t physically attracted to you...not necessarily the same thing, stop projecting. You’re supposed to be SO MATURE. There are so many people that are barely shown, I’m tired of every week focusing on the same players, and for the love of all that is holy, STOP WITH THE ZAK AND BRIA!!!!! She is such a dumbass to waste the group date based on her own stupid selfishness. And then to be so smug because she does what she wants, that’s just facts? How can anyone stand her?

Zack gave me whiplash with all his back and forth between Bria and Morgan. It’s so sad that both women are always ready to run to the Boom Boom Room with him no matter how many times they claim to be done with him. Asia is a least favorite of mine this season, which is saying a lot considering how unlikable this group is. I can’t stand people who are just itching to fight and make up reasons to target people who just happen to be in their strike zone. Seeing so much of her skeletal structure through her skin makes me physically uncomfortable, I find myself aware of my own clavicles. “Beast” gets removed from the house for physical violence, right? He’d better...that attack was unacceptable. The number of volatile, irrationally aggressive people seems higher than usual this season. I don’t know if I can muster up any hope that this group ends with a win. I can’t even root for them, unless I can know for sure that most of them would use their winnings for some much-needed therapy.

I’m finding D’Andra’s story very compelling so far. The mean part of me would rather watch Kameron deal with this situation instead, especially after hearing her say in her snottiest voice, every week, “I have heels higher than your standards”. Kam seems like someone who has never faced any kind of adversity in her life, and I think I would enjoy watching her deal with some, in a schadenfruede way ...more than I’m enjoying watch D’Andra handle it. I guess what I’m looking for is to see Sparkle Dog implode so hard that she ends up owing a pile of money that she’s somehow forced to repay by getting a job working on the assembly line at a sex toy factory. I don’t even think that part of Brandi’s humor is funny, but Kam’s relentless judgment of Brandi’s morals makes me root for the dildo jokes, and that pisses me off.

Kelly is Mexican, so is this one of those things where it’s ok for her to say it because she can own the connotation? Or is it not ok because she’s taking a jab at her own heritage? I have the hardest time keeping up with who is allowed to say what about whom. I’m personally ok with anything Kelly says about Steve that upsets Vicki.

The shoe thing to me seemed part of Shannon being new to the dating world. She thought she was supposed to look “sexy”, so she decided the shoes were necessary instead of a stupid choice that was optional. I guess if you’re going to be that awkward on a date it’s good to get it out of the way with a man you don’t see any potential with, but I hope she can unclench on future dates and try to be comfortable in her presentation instead of propping herself up on “sexy”, inefficient cliches.

If I were single, I’d be happy to go out with Shannon’s date. Two of my must-haves in a man are 1. Likes to live with cats, 2. Is able to communicate his feelings and talk about the deep stuff. It seemed like he was trying to offer Shannon some reassurance in the form of empathy that he was where she is now in the process, he understands how hard it is, and he’s in a better headspace now. He was letting her know he’s ok with her being in a hyper-emotional state right now. After living with cold, cruel, emotionally-unavailable David, I would have thought she would welcome a guy who differs so much in those ways. Vicki is always so embarrassing at her birthday gatherings, I cringe at everything she says and does. I’m looking forward to the big fight between Vicki and Tamra at the reunion because Tamra spilled the beans that Vicki doesn’t love Steve and isn’t actually happy with him.

Bye, Brett! Don’t worry, Sam will pack up all you’re stuff nice and tidy, that ought to take some of the sting out of your blindside! :))))))) Every time Julie was on all I could think about was how she’s doing, if she’s ok, she seems ok but she’s a professional, so can’t be sure, etc.. Was surprised by how poorly Angela did in the HOH comp...Lying directly into Brett’s face must have rattled her nerves. Not that it mattered since a Tyler win is a win for her. Edited to add: I didn’t catch Julie’s signoff, I deleted the episode too soon I guess. Oh honey...NO. That’s very unfortunate.

Oh I had blocked out that part about “the king”, because EWWWW!!! When Morgan said he was superficial and she wasn’t, he seemed so confused. I can only hope that he’s Bria’s match, because they are both too awful to be inflicted upon others.

I get why TJ Lavin is so mad when someone has a poor showing, or worse, gives up on The Challenge, but this game is so different from those competitions. It’s basically a math problem that they are expected to solve without using pen and paper, but collectively there aren’t a lot of working brain cells capable of figuring it out. It’s like a teacher wrote the problem up on the board, and they are going up to the front of the class to try to solve it with twerking, blowjobs, weaves, drunken fighting and jealous rants. They are practically set up to fail, especially with this Fate Button. Kenya and Tevin would have been sent to the Truth Booth a long time ago if not for being restricted to choosing from only 4 people, but because they can’t be ruled out or revealed as a match, they just keep doing the same dumb shit. Wasn’t there a guy who said on Day 1 that he’s looking for a “bad bitch”? Bria declared herself the baddest bitch in the house, so is that a clue that they are a match? As much as they say everything is based on highly scientific calculations, this whole thing is so random. I don’t know how any season has won, to be honest. Math equations and emotions do not go together.

Ashley being a part of this so far in might have ruined the whole season for me. How is this fair? I don’t like her, and I would like to file a formal complaint against her showing up at the end and having a shot at the money. I am also displeased that CT is out, and I really need for everyone to stop remarking on how filthy and presumably diseased Kyle’s penis is. That grossed me out even more than all the vomiting. Shut up, Johnny.

There is something very wrong with Bria. If instantly forgiving each other for having oral sex with someone else equals perfect match, then Kenya and Tevin are definitely a beam. Shamoy and Maria are already so obviously bored being alone in the honeymoon suite together. Why is the host so pissed that these idiots are terrible at this game? Shaking his head, calling the round trash, muttering like he just found out his teenaged daughter got a boy’s name tattooed on her ass. He gets paid whether they win or lose, right? The tough love is not going to make them any smarter.

I’m going to have to watch this episode again...there was so much! Kam was less revolting to me than usual, and I thought she looked very pretty in her rodeo outfit. I covet those pink boots! I laughed out loud when her daughter explained that the pink dog food is dumb because it’s pink dog food. I guess we know exactly when the beer LeeAnne funneled kicked in - lawdy mercy! I wouldn’t want her coming anywhere near me after she rolled and flailed and wiped her entire body across that filthy bar floor. Brandi’s incredibly accurate re-enactment of the lapdance LeeAnne did on D’Andra was extra funny with the side-by-side footage of the real thing. LeeAnne’s jealousy and possessiveness of D’Andra is hard to watch. I was really enjoying her so far this season, it’s a shame that version of LeeAnne seems to be coming to an end. Next week looks to be brutal.

This is the part of the season where I get super aggravated by all the repitition and whispering. When people whisper their speculations about who wants who out and what could happen if this person or that person wins the veto or HOH comp ... it all just turns into Charlie Brown Adults talking, I don’t even hear the words anymore. And it’s fine because I’m not missing a thing, but I’m painfully aware of the time that is being wasted. How many times am I supposed to hear all of them say, “I really need to win this to ensure my own safety” before I go mad? I already know they all want to win the money at the end, and they want to win any competitions that help them reach that goal, yet it gets rehashed every week, multiple times. I can’t believe there is truly nothing else they could be showing instead ... I’d prefer footage of pretty much anything to that. This game is always about one month too long for me, and I just want it to be over. What I did appreciate was the lack of attention given to Swaggy C’s likeness, and that it looked so small compared to all the others. Anything that messes with his overblown ego is funny to me.

Gage is beautiful with Monroe. I’ve loved watching him take care of her since she was born...he’s just pure adoration and nurturing. I hope she starts giving him unsolicited kisses soon, he deserves them!

LeeAnne is my favorite to watch because she’s not predictable, and she entertains the hell out of me. If I was choosing which one I would want most to hang out with, then that’s Cary.

True, Chaz Dean has been a Godsend for Jeff. What a genuinely good person he seems to be. I was so sad when the fire wiped out his brand new renovations, and I wish they hadn’t talked him out of the lucky penny water feature because I think the man should get what he wants, and that wasn’t really such an outlandish request by California standards. I hope we get more Chaz this season.