Irritable

Maybe I should have worded it differently, but I was saying she should have told Matty in person, when she got home, after it was over and had been proven to be nothing for him to sweat about, not that she should never have told him at all. By telling him on the phone when they are still weeks away from seeing each other, all she did was get him upset and worried while in a position to do nothing about it. She could have still warned him before the show aired without leaving him alone to his imagination, and to wonder exactly how far the problem had gone. I thought Danny did an amazing job as wingman to the old single guys. We don't know that he wasn't told specifically by one of them to offer free champagne to everyone - I figured that was exactly what happened, and they wanted Danny to be the one making the announcement because his gregarious nature had worked in gathering up the crowd in the first place. I loved that Bobby proved to be useless, and that they told him just to go ahead and put his shirt back on since it wasn't drawing in any women.

I'm dragging myself through these episodes with all the strength I can wring out of my loyalty for the show before it changed formats. I'm not a kid-hater, I just usually choose to avoid watching anything that has kids in it, ever. Hopefully, seeing some all-stars next week will give me a boost, but I have to confess that I only recognized maybe 3 of them. It's painful to watch Kat have to navigate her way through these horrible interviews. It almost feels like I'm watching her take a pay cut that she doesn't deserve. She didn't do anything wrong!

I'm afraid of getting whiplash from all the times I went from "oh, shut up Danny" to "yeah, Danny, yeah!" and then back again. Were Bryan not such an insufferable fratface, I would probably never root for Danny, but if it comes down to the two of them, Bryan will never get my vote. "Hey, man, you'd better watch it, don't call me a bunny" is pretty tough talk from a guy who has balls for a chin. I want to like Ben, and I mostly do, but I wish he would get a grip on his emotions and not be so reactive the nanosecond he starts to feel mad about something. He's great at apologizing, I'll give him that...he says all the right things and makes it almost impossible not to forgive him, but wouldn't he rather be known as a guy that can keep his cool when he needs to rather than someone who's regularly excellent at saying, "My bad!" the next day? I am firmly on his side over the 2-no-make-that-3-course meal debacle, but the fact that he would go to such an extreme to protect himself before he even knows for sure the situation was an actual problem for the clients isn't a good look. Get the tip and critique first, THEN throw Hannah to the sharks as necessary. There's a process! The things with Julia in the Bobby situation that bother me are that she never needed to tell Matty about Bobby flirting with her if she knew it would upset him so much. Nothing had actually happened, and if there is no chance anything is going to come of the flirtation, then that's the story you tell your boyfriend when you see him again and Bobby is thousands of miles away. Also, I wish she would stop saying Bobby's name so much, because that does infer a bit of familiarity when you do it all the time like she does, and even though I do not think she was leading him on at all, I can see how that could give him a glimmer of hope.

I've never seen a less funny group of women on the Real Housewives franchise. The only time I laughed the entire season was when Leanne mimicked a cockatoo while talking about Tiffany's hair. The fashions weren't interesting enough - after a few seasons of watching Gretchen get dressed to the crazy nines just to walk her dogs, I need a little more from this group than unflattering jumpsuits, heavy blush, bland designer gowns and poop hats. As far as I'm concerned, Dallas should be one and done. Nothing more to see here.

When Landon used the old Southern phrase "when you lie down with dogs you get up with fleas" to explain why she, Cameran and Whitney were so hard on Kathryn and wanted nothing to do with her, no one laughed (except Landon, of course) and Andy almost seemed like he tried to change the subject over her. It was revealed that Landon's ex-husband was also married at one time to Stacey Dash. I'm not sure if that was before or after Landon, but either way that man has terrible taste in women. Whitney's beard stubble looked like someone had smeared dark brown make-up on his face for his role in the school play as "hobo". Cameran looked fantastic, but was so careful about everything she said that she may as well not have been there at all. Shep and Whitney claim that Thomas has a bet with a family member that he will be paid $100,000 if he never gets back together with Kathryn again as a couple. No idea what the deadline is on that.

I watched the whole season last night, kind of by accident. It's exactly the kind of everything that I love. So incredibly smart, but so quirky that people who aren't paying close enough attention might think it's dumb. I may watch it all over again sometime, just to catch the little stuff I missed since there are so many moments happening in every episode. The depression parts resonated with me, but not in a way that I found upsetting, just real. People pleasing, getting myself into situations that suck because I'm apt to say yes instead of no just to avoid hurting feelings, thinking no one could possibly love me if they had any idea of the things going through my head, trying to run away when feelings get icky, thinking that if you have one fight with someone that means you will lose that person forever...all relatable for me. And that doesn't stop when you find someone; you always think one day that person will see the real you and flee, it's just one of the cruel things that a clinically depressed brain tells itself. I thought she addressed this so well, and I expect that while things ended somewhat tidily for the season, they will be frayed again by next season. But, delightfully frayed, in the way only Maria can do it. I loved her Diana Voice, made me laugh so much. How is it possible I was completely unaware of Maria Bamford until now?

Aside from Meghan not knowing how to properly react when her super great husband choked up because he was so happy that his daughter loved the room he worked so hard on, I liked this episode a lot. I like all the episodes. This may be becoming my favorite Bravo show, which I didn't see coming because I don't have kids and never expected to relate to this particular series at all. Turns out, it's very relatable in so many ways, and these are some of the realest women on the entire Bravo network. Based on the preview for the next episode, I give Meghan a little slack right now because she says she uses snark to protect herself from getting emotional. Her husband must know this about her, and while it would have been nice if she would have just given him a huge hug and told him how wonderful he is when he felt emotional, hopefully he understands that she gets awkward and has some issues when it comes to these moments. I'd like to think later, when they were finally alone in their bedroom, that she was kinder and more loving towards him. He's a real catch, that Nick. Need more Ellington!!!!

Yep, as usual, Frankie thought the whole thing was about him. When he would look directly into the camera, I would hiss, "Fucking Frankie!" just like I do every time he makes an appearance anywhere. What will it take to make him finally vanish into obscurity forever? Can the government abolish him? Can he be officially cancelled by all the networks? There has to be a way...think, everyone, THINK!!!! I've never been a true fan of Rachel, although she did win me over with her tenaciousness and ability to power through things to get what she wants. I would not want to spend any time in a room with her, but I've got to give her serious credit for being so far along in her pregnancy and still managing to not only wear heels, but also jump around and have incredible amounts of energy that would rival an athlete not carrying a big ole baby around in their body. I thought she was very impressive tonight. I really enjoyed this and the Survivor TPIR episode. A good crossover is fun stuff.

I think Danny planned to be on a TV show where he would come out "known" as "the guy who creates moments", and when the wheels started coming off his bus, he panicked. The way he kept insisting that HE was VERY mad TOO, and acting like everyone was ruining something huge definitely seemed like someone whose master plan was being thwarted. His visions of being the star of the reunion for being so sweet, for having the first romance with a passenger and for being the guy who always went the extra mile to entertain the guests was going up in flames before his very eyes and being replaced with flashes of being the big joke who acted like a hormonal kid at summer camp. Also, repeatedly saying things like "I'm the guy who creates special memories!" is kind of like making up your own nickname and then trying to get people to use it. These things have to happen naturally, dude. Hannah made some comment after the guests left the yacht about skanks, or skankiness...was she talking about the very nice, polite, not at all skankyTilted Kilt girls? If so, that kind of pisses me off. Hannah thinks very highly of herself for reasons I have yet to really understand, and passing judgment on those guests as if somehow she was forced to lower herself to their level is not at all cool. Also, when she was thanked for putting together the birthday party, she said, "It wasn't just me, I'm very good at bossing people around" isn't how you give credit to the others who helped, unless you're an asshole. Which I really, really think she is. I miss Kate.

Cameran is insufferable this season, and a lot dumber than I thought she was if she believed for one minute that everyone wouldn't see through her loyalty to Whitney and know that it's all about keeping her connection with Patricia. Gross, Cameran. Ew. I would much rather watch an hour of Kathryn at home interacting with Kenzie than one minute of Whitney play-acting with his "girlfriend". This show has a bad habit of always making me feel badly for Craig.

I honestly thought when Cary said Mark wouldn't want her to eat the Frito pie it was because it would give her the farts later. My husband tries to be thoughtful about what he eats if he is planning on being up close and personal with me later, so raw onions and things like chili are usually avoided. If I'm out of town, or we have separate plans, we both eat whatever we want - for me it's usually tons of garlic. Bloating or possible fraction of a weight gain would go completely unnoticed, which I guess is why it's nice not to be married to a plastic surgeon or a fat-shamer. They may have more money than me, but I wouldn't want to live their lives for 5 minutes. The way they both insist in every episode that they are incredibly happy together only tells me that they aren't. LeeAnn made me laugh with her cockatoo impression. Since no one on this show is very funny, that jets her straight up to the top of my list. When Brandi was telling Stephanie about her brother's attempt at suicide, I was so thoroughly put off by the banjo music that started playing. Like...what? Banjo??? Then they switched to sad, tinkly piano music, as if whoever was in charge of that scene realized midway that they were playing the wrong track. Heidi's house looked like an office building from the 1980's that she converted into a house. The outside is almost breathtaking in its hideousness. She is so visibly thirsty to be on television, and pretty much lost me when she turned up for lunch wearing a rapper costume from Party City. Everything she did after that just made my eyes roll. Her dog is sweet, though, and while I don't like Cary, I would have done exactly what she did at that miserable party - befriend the dog and stick with him as much as possible.

The fact that Mr. Green and I both fell hard asleep about halfway through the season finale tells me everything I need to know about this terrible show. We are done and won't be looking back, but I'm very sorry that this opportunity to tell the beginning of the story in an interesting way was completely wasted. A good idea was put into the wrong hands, and the viewers paid the price by losing so many hours of their lives hoping it would get better.

I don't know if this is the best RHNY episode I've ever seen, or the worst. I suppose it's possible that it's both. I was mesmerized during everything that happened during John's party...my mouth may have even been hanging open. When we only had audio of Rey's drunken stalker rantings at LuAnn, I assumed he refused to sign the release to be shown, and didn't expect we were going to get so much of him being a sleazy, sloppy creep in full view. What IS it that makes Dorinda stay with John? It truly is a mystery. She spends half of her time defending him and telling people they have to accept and be nice to him for her sake, and the other half of her time being disgusted by him and leaving abruptly to go home. Does she have poor self-esteem and think he's the best she can do? Is she afraid to be alone, and thinks a relationship that makes her miserable most of the time is better than being single? I've known some wonderful women who don't think they have value unless they are with a man, even if the man sucks. It's heartbreaking.

Oy with the psychics, already! Couldn't Bravo just let this ONE show be different and not have a fortune teller? This episode was fine for me, except not enough Ellington - although I'm not sure I can ever see enough of precious Ellington. Each week I like all the women a little more, even Jen and Beth. They have so much in common, it's dumb for them not to try to be friends. I hope their truce turns into a genuine friendship. Stephanie and Ron seem like a fun couple. I'm not sure how fantastic it is to put the actual footage of children learning about their parents' divorce on television, but I'm not a parent so I am unqualified to have a solid opinion on that. My parents divorced, and instead of telling me anything at all they just assumed I would eventually notice that my dad was gone and that I could only see him once in a while in a dreary apartment where some obnoxious, husky-voiced woman always seemed to be hanging around. I was 6, which meant that I filled in the parts that made no sense with lots of self-hatred, guilt and shame, so from where I'm sitting, I guess Beth reading her kids a book to gently explain things while cameras film their reactions is only mildly questionable compared to certain alternatives. I can't help but feel that to be on a TV show during this particularly excruciating period of her life means Beth REALLY needs the paycheck, and she's really alone in all this, which is very sad, so I'm going to try to be easy on her. Just because Jen is a huge drama queen doesn't mean Cousin Billy isn't a huge attention whore. These things are not mutually exclusive.

No offense to Sia, but when Jeff said there would be a special guest at the reunion I was hoping they had flown in Mark the rooster. Anyone other than that and I was guaranteed to be disappointed.

I've had more than enough of Jentitled. The more she isn't treated like the best crew member ever (MVP??? REALLY???) the worse her work gets. She's so emo, and I'm not sure at this point who is more immature, her or Danny. Were the Tilted Kilt girls served smoked salmon and bread 3 different times that we were shown? I love smoked salmon as much as anyone, and certainly understand why they were interested in a midnight snack of the leftovers from dinner, but to have it again for lunch the next day would make me start wondering if I was getting a bit of a short deal, yacht-foodwise. I was distracted when Hannah said something about taking advantage of the fact that these guests don't know any better so they could take shortcuts to make their jobs easier - was this one of those things? I think they should get the exact same level of service as any multimillionaire, because a charter guest is a charter guest. Giving less effort because you feel these clients are less deserving is poor form, and unprofessional. Danny said he hadn't gotten butterflies with a girl since high school, but wasn't that just 6 minutes before he first boarded the yacht? He's too young to even know how wrong he is about having made a "deep connection" with the girl who gives "hand hugs". I wanted to see whether or not he poured the Patron back into the bottle after he took it back from the two girls he shouldn't have brought back to the boat, even though I already know for sure that's what he did. So gross. I do not find Bobby attractive at all. I think he guffaws like a donkey, he's not nearly as funny as he thinks, and his solid black tattooed arm grosses me out... it makes me think of gangrene. Every time he showboats and spouts off about how attractive he finds every woman who steps onto the boat I feel like he's doing it just so his ex will see it, and rue the day she ever let him get away. Ten bucks says the opposite is happening. I felt kind of bad that the guests were being edited as a pack of idiots. They are young waitresses in a sports bar, so it certainly stands to reason that they haven't necessarily had sparkling water before. I was in my mid-30's before I ever tried it. I also was somewhat unfamiliar with capers until my mid-20's. They aren't the typical charter guests, they are experiencing a different level of service than they are used to, and they certainly aren't behaving like jerks so I wish that kind of stuff had been left on the cutting room floor.

Why is Isaiah's mom listed on his phone by her first name, and why did he call her "baby"? Maybe I shouldn't have watched this right after watching Bates Motel, but that just seemed weird.

Ellington seems like such a super sweet kid, I would watch a show of just him. When he didn't want his sister to play with the dog, it seemed to be out of worry for her safety, and he was so pure and genuine in pushing himself through his fear to enjoy watching the dog play and interact. So happy that he felt comfortable enough to pet Otto, and even give him a kiss at the end! Of course, this doesn't mean he is cured of his fear of dogs in general, it means he is not afraid of Otto, and sadly he will have to go through these feelings again many times as he encounters different types of dogs, but he's very brave and willing to try. I adore him. His interactions with his siblings are sweet, too. I forget his mom's name, but she seems to be doing really great job as a parent. Drunk Cousin Billy needs to go. He was clearly just trying to make sure he got into the episode, and I have no patience or interest in those people. That townhouse Beth looked at was so bad that it made me uncomfortable, and I'm not even a snob. Even beyond how hideous it was, a home with no grass or outdoor space and 4 small kids is not a match. It seems like Leah, who is a stylist and looks so well put together most of the time, would find a new hairstyle that isn't such a distracting mess. I find myself constantly trying to figure out what's going on with it when I should be listening to what she's saying. There's too much going on all over her head, but her body is amazing. I really like this show, it's so much more real than the other Bravo franchises. I don't have kids, so I didn't think this one would interest me, but by not changing the channel quickly enough one night I found myself watching, and now it's on my regular list. I appreciate seeing things like busted up walls and dirty feet and homes that look like people actually live in them. I don't want to see those things on RHBH, but on this show it's perfect.

Not kidding, last night I said this series would be better if it were treated to the MST3000 treatment, too! This show is godawful, and if it weren't connected to TWD I would have bailed on it back on the second episode. How is it possible Robert Kirkman has his name on this and is supposedly involved? It's easier for me to believe he has been kidnapped and is duct taped to a chair in a room where he is not able to see this show at all, nor have any responsibility for its existence. I know TWD hasn't been at its best lately, but even at its worst it's monumentally better than this ridiculous pile of stupid nonsense. If we could get a peek into the writers' room, would it just be a bunch of monkeys pounding away at typewriters? I'm having spinal surgery tomorrow, so the guy on the plane with his vertebra jutting out of his back was not super enjoyable for me to see. When Nick put on the dirty pilot's shirt with glee, my soul died a little. Is it written somewhere in the bible for this show that he always has to be filthy? I thought maybe he finally took a shower on the yacht, but then he never brushed his hair, so it was hard to tell if he actually cleaned up or just wrapped a towel around his stinking body after the swim in the ocean. That was an impressive amount of black sludge that one relatively fresh zombie arm managed to create in the pump / filtration system. He looked like a regular sized man to me, but I guess that one arm was actually the size of an adult zebra when it got sucked into the boat. Also, how stupid was it that whatshisname went down in the full diving suit (which was handy that he knew how to dive, because I wouldn't have known thing one about setting up the tank and gear if it were up to me), found the guy stuck in the boat hole, then panicked and just...got back on the boat, like WOAH THERE'S A TOTALLY UNEXPECTED DEAD DUDE CLOGGING THE MOTOR! I DIDN'T GO AHEAD AND PULL HIM OUT, THOUGH, I JUST BAILED, SO THE PROBLEM IS STILL THERE, GUESS I'LL JUST DO THIS ALL OVER AGAIN LATER BECAUSE WE HAVE NOTHING BUT TIME! And everybody else was like, okay, yes, good plan. I can't make a lick of sense out of why half of the episode was spent watching everyone discuss why they were going to Mexico, as though it was alarming to find out they had a possible destination. WHO CARES IF YOU ARE HEADED FOR MEXICO? You already know San Diego is gone, so if you continue South, you'll end up at Mexico anyway. Why is finding out that Strand has some reason to go there even a thing? It makes zero difference! Mexico isn't even Mexico anymore, countries don't matter, it's all just land now, so you say okay, let's see how Mexico is doing, and you shut up about it. GAH! I hate this show.

I think both are true, and it gave their reunion hugs an awkward mother-and-child visual for me.

Is it really necessary to have so much filler, so many fake-outs and all the repetitive scenes? I realize they only have so much footage to work with, but I personally would be very happy to see more of the day-to-day operations inside the pods and the rest of the jail. Is there a lights out? A wake up time? How do they keep track of time and days? When and why do officers come into the pods every day? (I'm still shocked there isn't always an officer on duty in every pod at all times) I wouldn't mind watching commissary orders get delivered once. More interviews with inmates not in the program would be interesting to me - I'm sure they are "paid" to participate with the documentary team with commissary credit anyway, so show us a little more of what everyone else does, besides skulk about and scowl toward the far side of the room. Speaking of seeing more of the real inmates, I am absolutely dying to know exactly what happened to cause NO SPORKS! to be added in such large letters to the list of things one of the men in solitary wasn't allowed to have. Also, the interview with the maniac who attacked Jeff was absolutely bone chilling. The way he slipped in that weird comment about Jeff trying to rape his son while he was denying anything about a scuffle was one of the most raw, real and terrifying peeks into madness that I've ever seen. If they would like to interview me, I certainly have some valuable feedback about how disorganized the jail and this program seem to be. Zac is there specifically to learn how drugs get in, and what kind...so for the first 30 days they put him in the pod NOT known for drug problems. And because it's important not to draw suspicion, when they are finally going to move him to the pod where drug problems exist they move him with Isaiah of all people, who is ALSO IN THE PROGRAM?!? Someone please help me understand how this makes any sense at all. Isaiah is not going to collect any more intel in Pod D than he did in Pod C, because Isaiah decided to just ride this this thing out by sitting on his mat for 2 months. They could have left him where he was, I see no point in relocating him to a block more crowded than the first one, just to somehow maintain the integrity of Zac's cover or the program. Zac should have always been in Block D, Robert should have always been in Block C. Or, once Robert went to Solitary, that would have been a good time to transfer Zac to Block D - 30 more days in the place where he can actually get the information he is there to get might have been helpful. Once again, I think I would have been most like Jeff in this program. "Well, I just got punched in the face by a lunatic. I'm ready to leave now. Now, please. Right now. My face hurts. Ow. I got hit, you guys. Open the door and let my ass out of here. Why is everyone just standing there? I GOT PUNCHED." So much for Tami breaking the fastest...Barbara didn't even make it a full 24 hours without snapping after her "best friend" left. What exactly did she want the other women to do with the stuff that was left behind? Make a shrine? [edited to add: Ha! TeapotWakeen said the same thing first as I was typing this!] Donate it to charity? It took an entire month for Barbara to realize with shock and horror that some of the inmates might be a little unsentimental, cold and unfeeling about food. Welcome to the harsh realities of jail life, Barbara...those hard bitches will eat your snacks when you leave! I wish Tami wouldn't have welcomed her back so quickly. I know she wants a friend, but Barbara is so clearly using her that it felt icky to watch Tami be nice to her now. And I even backed Barbara when she first said she didn't want to get involved in Tami's confrontation with Boston, but the fact that she snubbed her completely from then on, only to deign Tami worthy to speak to again when she felt alone is kind of shitty. I appreciated not seeing Robert much this week. Next week it looks like Maryum flips out because one of the inmates has Ebola! It's an outbreak, y'all! Or maybe one woman is having an allergic reaction to something that has caused her to break out into an itchy rash and hives. It's either that, or Ebola, FOR SURE.

It almost feels like something is going unsaid about LeeAnn, with all her "contacts" and "power" when it comes to "helping" put all these charity "events" together, and then playing the role of head sycophant to whomever is hosting each one. When I try to piece together the puzzle of a "carny girl" who has never been married, lives with a cop and has not mentioned having a career or job of her own, being so involved and welcomed into these little galas that let the wealthy people gather, eat, drink and give some money to a good cause... the only total picture I can guess at is that this IS her job. As in, she's really an event coordinator who specializes in these local charity soirees, but for the sake of this show that tidbit of reality is being kept out so that she can be presented as just another lady of luxury. Is that too far fetched? I can think of no other reason, based on the information we have been given so far, why she would be able to spend so much of her time doing these things, and why the other women would treat her as anything more than a hanger-on who is trying to sit with the cool kids at lunch by sharing her snacks and catering contacts, unless she is the one they all hire to pull shit together when it's their turn to play host. I'm a little confused about Tiffany's situation. Are we to assume she is wealthy from all of her (catalog) modeling work? Did we see her mansion yet? Clearly, her husband isn't making any money if he's still trying to get discovered (huge eyeroll) at this stage of life. Her face is so jacked up with fillers and botox, I have to avert my eyes when the camera gets too close. If anything, this franchise helps me to understand how truly difficult it is to look good on HDTV, and that the women from the other cities are doing a much better job of looking good than I thought they were.

Brandi looks like completely different people depending on what kind of lighting she stumbles into. Harsh lighting is NOT her friend. That's all I got from the first hour.

I love this show so much. Would really like to get a longer, more thorough look at Cameran's house, and her back yard. That place looks enormous! I felt a little bad or Patricia having to climb all those stairs...shouldn't a house like that come with an elevator? Cameran's complete lack of understanding of kitchen and cooking basics is amusing to me. I love to cook, and it ended up being something I'm good at naturally, so when I see someone who struggles with it the way I did with algebra, it makes me feel better about myself (yay, I'm good at something that not everyone is good at!). We eloped, so I never got to do the whole wedding registry thing...I can't imagine having that opportunity and just handing it over to a sales associate in the store - I would have had a GREAT time picking things out, especially if I knew I was counting on a lot of wealthy guests to help me out. Oh well, they say youth is wasted on the young, maybe wealth is wasted on the rich? Even though Cameran says she was raised on Happy Meals, I don't think her beginnings were nearly as meager as she claims, and she has certainly adjusted nicely to living well. Normally, I love everything Cam wears but the dress for her dinner party was a miss for me, just because of the weird solid rectangle in the back. Love the little moments like her shoe getting caught in the sisal rug. Patricia's announcement that as a result of her successful co-parenting, Whitney has turned out absolutely perfect made me laugh so loudly that I startled my dog. Those martinis are really working for her. His haircut is better this year, but that's really all I'm willing to give him. Same smarmy, do-nothing lump. Kathryn entertains me to no end. Everything about her would normally amount to someone who annoys me, but for whatever reason, she doesn't bother me at all. Maybe it's because she's upsetting TRav so much, and I love that for once everything isn't going his way. Plus, she's so pretty, I just like looking at her.

How did I not know this show existed until now? I'm hooked. The reporters are a little sub-par and the dramatic lines are cheesy, but I like that there are several stories per episode. No filler to wade through, just the main points.