Irritable

This was my favorite episode ever. I can't WAIT for the next one.

I love best teen friends weeks, for so many reasons. Last night there was a pair of girls who said they've never had a fight in all the years they've been friends because they are "pretty unemotional". L O L.

This group has more icky behavior than all the other seasons put together. No wonder some of these people "suck at relationships". They suck at behaving like civilized humans half the time. I'm not rooting for anyone to find love at this point, and I'm definitely not rooting for them to win the money. Usually I end up caring about some of them by now. I do feel bad for Kam that she had to go with that nasty dude to the Honeymoon Suite without knowing the full truth. I would be out of my mind furious to find out when the show aired that they'd actually had sex, instead of having that information up front so I could decide whether or not to have anything to do with him afterward. Giant EW.

The insurance theory has legs, especially when she said MILLIONS OF DOLLARS worth of stuff and things were lost in the fire. Yeah, right. Millions of dollars worth of rusted, broken, bent, moldy pieces of who knows what? Sounds legit to me.

Honestly, once Dean made the comment about going into the house to "get some lovin'", I never really recovered. I've seen some horrifying things on this show over the years, but that one line, and having to think about what it actually entailed, and with whom, might have scarred me permanently. Everyone's fingernails were so filthy, y'all. I can't be expected to think about filthy fingered people getting it on in a disgusting house that may or may not even have a roof (am I crazy or was the kitchen full of flies and rotten fruit not flooded with sunlight coming in where a ceiling should have been?) . It's all too much for me. I'm happy for Kerry and his family, and I hope the great progress he made is permanent. I think this was our first plant hoard. Kind of nice that there are still types of hoards out there that can surprise me without making me feel faint.

Caroline F. is so fascinating to me, and I mean that in the best possible way. I wish I were more like her. Caroline S. is so yucky to me, and I'm so glad that I'm nothing like her.

Yes, I understand his situation perfectly, I wasn't at all saying he has no right to be concerned. I agree with him, and that's why I didn't want him kicking things, even though I certainly get why he was mad enough to do it.

Hearing narcissists go on and on about their own amazingness makes me physically ill. For me, having to watch and listen to Lonnie's delusions of grandeur was worse than seeing a bathtub filled with mystery fluids.

The city where Ann and Scott live is a very nice, affluent area. Their house looked like it was built in maybe the 1980's, so I wonder if it was her childhood home that was given to her by her parents. Was it specifically said that Scott is on disability? I saw it mentioned here, but don't remember hearing it when I watched the show...but I was also doing other things. If so, you don't live in Alpharetta on disability and retail incomes without some other source of income or financial assistance, the taxes alone would be too much. Scott sure got brave and kicky when Ann wasn't watching him. All I could think when he was throwing the fit upstairs was "WHY ARE YOU KICKING THINGS WHEN YOU JUST SAID A STUBBED TOE CAN COST YOU YOUR LEG???" As vile as it was, and I really was properly horrified, I also had to laugh in disbelief when Ann berated him for caring more about keeping his body in one piece than he cared about her potions and candles. Way to miss the ENTIRE POINT, Ann! I get the feeling she is just delusional and selfish enough to have watched the episode and smugly declared herself the winner, not seeing one flaw in any of her behavior, possibly patting herself on the back for standing up to Scott when he was trying to bully her into allowing him a small goat path that he may use to safely roam through the house. The Stanks. Their whole portion of the episode was like one long dry-heave for me. I do wish they would have said where they ended up living once their house was declared uninhabitable. They used aftercare funds, great, but where did they go???

I enjoyed that when Teresa was asked her feelings about the rumors that Joe cheated on her, her response was that if it were true she would go out and find the hottest guy... (and, what? presumably have sex with him? She never actually said what she would do with The Hottest Guy), because she KNOWS she's not ugly. Mmmmm...I don't think that answer quite matches up with the question that was asked, but, okay. Also, some people do think you're very ugly indeed, Teresa, so there's no reason to assume The Hottest Guy would want you, but I guess that's a minor quibble compared to all your other delusions. Yeah, for someone who is already so sensitive about how her neck looks, I don't at all understand why Jacqueline went with that crazy choker. Maybe it's like how some overweight people think if they swim in a big t-shirt shirt no one will be able to tell they are overweight? She thought a choker big enough would cover her turkey neck? Such a bad choice. I get why Melissa is backing Teresa so hard right now. I really do. But I hate watching it, and I'm sure she feels disgusting doing it. I had to tolerate a sister-in-law who is a total garbage person for many years, and it made me sick to my stomach, but I wanted to keep peace in the family and I loved my brother-in-law enough that I would do anything to maintain calm relations for holidays. Sadly, he died, and I tried so hard afterward to be there for my S-I-L, but she burned me, and all I could say was OF COURSE SHE DID. She burned everyone who had loved him, she burned down the whole family unit, and she burned every bridge on the way out because nothing else mattered but herself and what she wanted. She's a hideous, greedy, selfish toxic piece of lying shit, just like Teresa, and one day Melissa will regret biting her tongue just to keep her flimsy, teetering position on Teresa's good side for the sake of her husband's happiness. It's going to fall apart again, and Mel should probably buckle up. I kind of love that Dina eventually just looked around at everyone in her circle and said, "You know what? Screw this, I'm moving to the other side of the country and getting away from all of these backbiting lunatics." I've never understood her friendship with Teresa and never will, but I don't for one second believe that it's anywhere near as strong now as it was a few years ago. Good for Dina for taking the giant leap she needed to find some real peace. I wish everyone could do that for themselves, or at least recognize that they need to make changes towards their own happiness instead of just walking through these infinite loops of fighting/making up/fighting/making up, like so many of the Real Housewives in all franchises seem to do.

I never heard Heather and Kelly ask Megan and Shannon to go see Vicki, I heard them try to guilt and pressure them into it by using language that specifically avoided asking. I wonder if they had said, "Would one of you please go see Vicki? We can't do it in our situation, and since you aren't too far from her it would mean a lot if you could go to the hospital so she won't be alone during this really scary time" if things would have gone differently? I think maybe they would have. I know that I do not respond well at all to someone trying to guilt me into doing something that I don't think is my responsibility any more than anyone else's...I will dig in my heels just like Megan did.

What made this episode fun for me was whenever someone would say "go see Vicki" or "go to the hospital", I replaced it with "pick up that turd". They ALL acted like going to see Vicki was the very last thing they wanted to do, and to ease their own consciences they all put the heat on someone else to do it. If Vicki wasn't such an asshole, everyone would have found a way to go be with her, but she IS an asshole, and that's why everyone stood around uncomfortably pointing fingers away from themselves as to who should be the one to just take one for the team and go see her already. "Ew, there's a turd on the floor, someone should pick that up." "Well, it's not MY turd, I'm not picking it up." "But you're closer to the turd than I am, so you should pick it up." "You're the one who saw the turd first, so you pick it up." "I can't pick up the turd because I am traumatized by seeing the turd first. You pick it up." Production would have gotten a car for whomever wanted to go, but the reality is that absolutely no one wanted to. So I really don't get why they are all falling over each other trying to place blame on who was the most wrong for not wanting to pick up the turd, when it's perfectly natural for anyone who knows the turd to not want anything to do with it. I'm disappointed that Heather broke Megan down like that, because I don't think it was Megan's job more than anyone else's to take sweat pants to Vicki, for heaven's sake. And speaking of production, no one from the show crew could go take Vicki some sweat pants? I guess the "pick up that turd" game was going on behind the cameras as well as in front of them.

I always feel like an alien when it comes to this show because I don't hate Jacqueline and never have. When she's up, she seems like kind of a fun hang, and when she's down I feel like she has a good reason to be. She left the room to go cry in the bathroom by herself, which is the only thing she could have possibly done in a situation like that to not make the moment all about her. She's vain enough that she doesn't especially want to be shown crying on television, either, because that's no one's best look. The other women could have just as easily not gone looking for her and assumed she was on the toilet - when I go on girls' trips, if someone disappears to the bathroom for 20 minutes we all assume she's having IBS issues (the struggle is REAL) or something, and leave her alone. She'll rejoin the group when she's ready. It was nice that the other women were so kind and supportive to her during that moment, and I do like the new ladies very much, which I didn't really see coming. I liked watching a group of women just have a nice, caring time together, during the up moments, and the down. This might be the first RHoNJ episode that I actually enjoyed and didn't just sit through for the hell of it (I really don't know why I watch this franchise, normally I find Teresa abhorrent and she's usually the focus, but I can't seem to help myself). Teresa seemed human and genuinely nice for the first time to me, ever. Melissa I always like, always have. With every season I like her more. Honestly, Jac and Melissa are the two women I could almost see myself being friends with in the real world more than anyone else on this show. Not sure what that says about me. You could not pay me to spend an hour around Teresa. Not gonna lie, that spa looked fabulous, and I know by Housewife standards it was supposed to be "low rent', but that looked like a damn DREAM to me. I would think I had died and gone to heaven staying there for a few days with my closest friends. That food OMG.

I forgot to record the aftershow, much to my chagrine! Would you mind recapping this for me a little? Did someone try to have sex with Chad while he was blackout drunk??? Did he try to have sex with someone who didn't want to while he was blackout drunk??? Did Chad come across as "normal" on the show compared to how he came across every other time he's been on television, or did he once again have to explain that when a bunch of people are coming at you for no reason whatsoever, there's no other option but to start making death threats and throwing punches?

The end of this episode was a little like watching a horror movie for me. I wanted to scream at the television, "No, Evan! NOOOOOOOO! Don't do it! Turn around!" as he approached Amanda and Josh. Getting dumped by Carly gave him the confidence to approach Amanda...how, exactly? I cannot make the connection with the whole path less traveled thing - considering how Amanda is already kind of a well-worn path in just the first few days. Although I did enjoy the Masterpiece Theatre music playing during that segment as we watched the two scholars try to sort out which anecdote best applies to creeping up and saying, "Hey guys!" to a couple mid-kiss, with the intention of luring the female away for a quick snack of lobster, awkwardness and humiliation. I will admit that Daniel is growing on me. When he made all the comments about street dogs and rotten fruit I thought I was going to hate him, but maybe that was another instance of him being funny in his deadpan way. I did not see it coming that he would be into Sarah to the point of jealousy when she was taken on a date by someone else. His little beach date was cute, but then, I'm a sucker for chocolate covered strawberries. I know they try to hide from the cameras how miserably hot and humid it is there, but things like chocolate melting off the strawberries - at night - are kind of a giveaway. They must have a production assistant standing near each group ready to mop them off and floof them with powder every 5 minutes. When the twins pulled the switch, I thought he noticed it right away. It seemed so obvious when she sat down that her voice and manner of speaking were different, and definitely not a smooth transition from how their conversation had been going before. I was disappointed that he actually had not picked up on the change, and glad that the other twin put the brakes on him trying to kiss her by saying she likes to go slow. I *almost* think the switch was funny, but not quite, because I'm not really comfortable with people being made to look foolish on TV. I always hated those candid camera prank shows. Which makes me ask myself the question, if I don't enjoy watching people get humiliated on television, then why on earth would I watch this show??? Maybe what I enjoy is when people make fools of themselves on TV, and just dislike it when other people do it to someone unsuspecting. Evan just doesn't belong on this show. Everyone comments about how disgusting and ugly he is, but all I see is an everyday guy whose place really is not on reality television. I don't find him hideous, nor do I find him particularly attractive, I just think of him as a guy I might stand in line with at the grocery store who seems nice enough, and then never think of him again.

I never really minded Carly before, and even enjoyed some of her commentary in the past, but after her mean display tonight I hope she doesn't last much longer on this show. Why would you say those things on camera, knowing some if not all of it will be aired, about a guy that you admitted was really nice, and has other qualities besides kissing that you like about him? What is the point of eviscerating and humiliating Evan behind his back like that? An adult would have said to the camera that she didn't really feel any chemistry during their kiss, and then offered a polite "no, thank you, but I'm sure another woman here would love a chance to go out and get to know you better" instead of going on the date. The date was gross, yes, but that wasn't Evan's fault. I wouldn't even want to kiss my husband right after either of us ate a hot pepper. I know editing ramped up the moaning sounds Josh was making while kissing Amanda, but it really, REALLY squicks me out. I'm not fully understanding her appeal, as far as why she is considered a solid level or two more attractive than the other women there. I know she meets the standard beauty qualities required to be on this show, but I don't see what is so incredibly special about her looks. How, exactly, is she SO much better looking than Leah? Have we ever seen her without a hefty layer of make-up? She doesn't come across as funny or particularly interesting, so unless a man was super into listening to a woman say "like" a thousand times in a baby voice, I'm just not getting why she is this year's Big Catch. Being a mom does not qualify as personality. Looking like a walking 23-year-old's Pinterest board does not qualify as interesting. It's amazing how far a better haircut has gone toward making me like Nick. It used to be that all I did was stare at his stupid hair and feel inexplicably angry. Now that it's under control, I have no problem with him, and certainly like him better than slick Josh. If that's how Amanda decided to handle things once Josh came along, then Nick's better off without her.

Morgan is supposed to be smart? He does a very clever job of hiding whatever intelligence he supposedly has. Dramatic much, Gio? The "I have to take a knee, and I still might fully collapse to the floor" move was laughable. Julia was a lot nicer to him in the Truth Booth than I would have been, especially after he cornered her on the boat and kept holding on to her hands and arms. YEEEUUUUCK! The second I saw NO MATCH I would have run out of the booth and joined the group with a huge whoop of relief. It's too bad Steven and Julia aren't a match, since they like each other so much. Clearly most of these people are walking away without love, since only a few of them can seem to stand each other, and now maybe even without any money. I guess they will blame Steven for pairing up with Julia and "ruining" the house strategy, such as it was. I think Emma is very pretty, and that it's her hair that maybe isn't the most flattering to her face. Her and Prosper as a couple don't seem like a terrible idea, except for the part where he has never had a girlfriend for longer than 3 weeks. Hello, Red Flag.

I feel that a lot of this episode could have been edited out to make room for more footage of Ramona's spectacularly horrible dancing. Those lessons she took are really paying off!

Yeah, I thought she should have stayed away from both of them once all that foolishness went down, so when she only said she didn't like OtherGuy's behavior and chose John it seemed really dumb. Out of the two idiots that you could have ignored, you pick the one who actually used violence? No wonder she was so taken with Gio...she might have a weird thing for guys who are dangerous.

Let me get this straight. John hits or shoves [guy whose name I can't remember] hard enough that he is knocked down to the floor, and not only are there no repercussions from production, but Caylen chooses John because she didn't like the OTHER guy's behavior? Oh, okay. I would have liked to have seen if Emma would have chosen Prosper if she had gone first. Morgan has never been good looking to me, at all, not even a little. I would rather see Tori with a better guy, but there are such incredibly slim pickings in this group. There are not enough words to describe how much I want Gio to be wrong about Julia being his match, just because I can't bear the thought of him being any more smug, cocky, intense and repulsive than he already is. This season is a real hot mess.

I meant to say earlier that I, too, already disliked Asaf after seeing him on So You Think You Can Dance. The guy really is just a straight up ass. I watched all but two seasons of that show, and he was the first and only person I'd ever seen to make it all the way to the Top 20, and then whine and cop out on his partner because the routine "wasn't his preferred style" or "he couldn't learn that choreography, so he decided to just do his own thing". I believe it was 2 weeks in a row that the choreographers had to change their segment to work around his refusal to just work harder and learn things outside of his comfort zone, before the judges finally canned his ungrateful, unworthy ass. It was unheard of for someone to get that far and behave the way that he did on a show full of bright, professional, dedicated, hardworking, talented people, and I think if it weren't for Gio on this show, Asaf would be the standout douchebag of the season once again. I don't know if he has some kind of hideous personality disorder like Gio clearly does, or if it's a cultural thing, but Asaf is very entitled without bringing much to the table himself, only he THINKS he brings everything to the table. Half the time I have no idea what he's trying to say, and I don't even think it's a language barrier as much as I think he's not actually very smart at all, and just speaks nonsense when he's put on the spot for his BS. His personality completely negates his good looks for me, I just see a babbling fool on the screen. One thing on this show that always startles me a little is how open everyone is about telling the host and the crowd who they had sex with. I'm older than the target demographic here, by a lot, so maybe I am just out of touch with the kids of today, but when I was their age no one I knew was making it so obvious when they were going to go bang someone, or after they banged, nor did they announce it to everyone like it's official public business. Yes, friends knew, and other people could speculate and often figure out who was banging who, but it wasn't just people walking out of a room at a party and stating, "WE JUST HAD SEXUAL INTERCOURSE" while still buttoning our drawers up. We didn't meet up as a group for dinner and drinks, tap a glass for quiet, and require everyone to go around the table announcing who we most recently slept with. We left some mystery, at least - maybe we banged, maybe we just fooled around, maybe it's not anyone else's business. It's a very different sexual world, I guess, and I'm glad I'm not in my early 20's right now if this is what it's like to be single and sexually active.

I feel so badly for the girls...the males they have to choose from are absolutely terrible. Gio definitely seems like he could be dangerous. Narcissism and self delusion on that level rarely amount to anything good. I'm pretty confused now, because I thought a lot of the locked-in pairs on this episode seemed like they could be right. Are they not allowed pens and paper in that house? It seems like mathematically you could figure out who to match up based on the information they have so far. And it seems like it would be more fair to give them a chance to think it through instead of "follow their hearts", because so few of these people are having any real connections with each other. If by week six you don't have more people pairing off just based on feelings and nothing else, then the chemistry just isn't there. It took 6 weeks for Emma to show that there is a fun side to her personality? Ouch.

Yep, this is the same problem I have with Danny. I can't stand him, but I love how much he gets under their skin. He is the perfect foil for them. Danny is an immature, obnoxious idiot, but as annoying as his antics and self-proclamations of awesomeness are, Bobby and Bryan are old enough to behave better than they do, and they are quite mean-spirited and ugly when their egos are threatened - and their egos seem to be threatened a lot. As much as I don't agree with Danny getting himself involved in Hanna and Ben's conversation on shore, I do agree with him that she has an ugly personality. He shouldn't have said so, and certainly not in the stupid mic-drop way he thinks he said it, but I think Hanna sucks and would be so sick of her bitching, too. The lamb chops would have been an unusual choice for breakfast for me, but I would have enjoyed them. I just figured it was a Med thing, that lamb is kind of like chicken around those parts. Ben's food always looks delicious to me, and if I ever get filthy, stinking rich I would like to charter a yacht and have him be the chef for our voyage. He's so grumpy and finger-pointy, but the guests never have to see that side of him, so I wouldn't care. Him getting mad because no one woke him to say the guests were awake? Chill the eff out, Ben, it's possible everyone found out at the same time you did, and guess what, you were already up and in the galley, so what's the big problem? Bobby grows more physically unattractive to me every week. I don't care about giant muscles, so they don't do anything to distract me from his doofy face and doofier personality. I'm still repulsed by his solid black tattoo. Bryan is actually hideous to me, and whomever decided he was camera-friendly enough for this show might have been drunk while making that decision.

Healy checked himself into a safe place just in the nick of time. If he thinks what happened with Lolly was bad...DAMN. It's going to take me a while to shake off the heavy sadness of this season. But even though it broke my heart, it was my favorite season of them all.

This is twice now that Bravo has given me reason to rethink my stance on avoiding shows with kids in them. I got sucked into There Goes the Motherhood after thinking I would despise it, and fell completely in love with one of the kids, and didn't mind any of the others. Now I watch this special and I'm 100% in love with every single child in it? WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME. Maybe the key is that I prefer to see kids who aren't performing, or trying to be "on" for the cameras. Somehow, the editors on Bravo shows know exactly what to keep and what to cut out to make me happy. I want this Jr. show with these same children to become a full season, please.