Irritable

This was just another episode of Battle of the Inflated Egos. I’m so tired of watching women on reality TV declare themselves to be special, fabulous and important. You’re supposed to show that, not tell it. This new woman, who is definitely not memorable, can please go away now. We don’t need Shamari and her in the same season. Kandi clearly enjoys talking shit about Dennis and Porsha, she should stop trying to act like it pains her to have to pass along this information in the name of rebuilding their friendship. If you can’t talk about it without a wicked smile creeping across your face, then you aren’t talking about it to do “the right thing”. Yes, Greg is in denial, and it’s tough to witness. I feel like I’m watching him march slowly to his death, and I’d rather not. I want to yell DO THE CHEMO!!!!! at the TV, because my mother did the exact same thing he is doing, and died right on schedule instead of giving herself a fighting chance for more. I don’t love seeing someone make life or death decisions, even though it’s his body and his right, because I feel helpless and sad sitting here spectating.

I’ve reached my limit of watching Sally not have a backbone. Also, her having sex with Nigel was really handled clumsily...until then I never saw her show any reciprocal interest in him, suddenly they banged and are heart eye emojis together? The therapist must be a plant of Emma’s, to so clearly and unprofessionally favor Emma and try to push Sally further into this unhealthy relationship that she has said makes her unhappy, but why would the ER doctor also be so pushy? Emma shows herself to be a total asshole immediately, why are so many people on her team?

It amuses me that Vicki Gunvalson isn’t even embarrassed to admit that her desperate need for male attention and validation is why she was so vulnerable to Dirty Brooks. I would be mortified to tell the world that I was that needy. Debra admits the same desperation for love, but unlike Vicky, she doesn’t seem to be a toxic narcissist. She’s kind, generous, loving and trusting of everyone, not just romantic partners. Vicki is selfish, arrogant, greedy and delusional but incredibly insecure. Also, I think Vicki is probably jealous that Debra managed to get so many men to marry her - Vicki has only been divorced twice and now she can’t pay a man to put a ring on it! Doesn’t matter if you marry 4 scumbags, the most important things is that getting married proves that Vicki is the good catch she keeps screeching herself to be.

At this point, I’m almost rooting for John because all the women in this family are either too stupid to live, or they are so spoiled, whiny and abrasive that even if they are right, I don’t like them or care if something bad happens to them. I forget now, what was the order in which the “break in” leading to security cameras everywhere, and Debra showing John her duffel bag full of cash happened? If the cash was revealed first then I’m not getting why John would want constant video footage in their home that could show him stealing it? Or was it to keep his eye on Debra? Why push for security at her business? She needed some kind of security there, but why the cameras everywhere? Am confused. Eric Bana did a great job with the facial expression of someone who finds out someone is on to him...again. Not nervous at all, just recognition that the nephew is now his enemy. Why is Veronica always such a nasty beeyotch? There was no need to be a snotty hag when selling the Chanel purse. I wish the shop owner would have said, “Sorry, not interested”, but then we wouldn’t have the private investigator.

I definitely want nothing more to do with them. I’m trying to find my next favorite quirky show that is uncomfortable but funny, and I keep coming up empty. The only good thing I can say about this show is that it’s a little less annoying and disgusting than Sally4Ever, but that’s not really a compliment.

Amazing she was so successful financially...it really comes across on this show that she’s a major dimwit.

My god, there is nothing to like anywhere in this show. Not a single pleasant moment to be found anywhere. Why was this show made? Who was it made for? I like weird, quirky, dark, twisted things but this one just seems to be going for shock value with nothing of substance behind it. I can’t even root for Sally ... am I supposed to be rooting for Sally? Am I supposed to want her to dump toxic narcissist Emma for Nigel? Because I don’t think Sally is good enough for Nigel.

Oh I only meant her facial features resembled Kelly, not her um ... personal “style”. I was trying to find something nice to say to help balance out the hugely negative opinions I had about her otherwise!

They just aired a Kansas City couple from this year that I had not seen before. The wife resembled Kelly Clarkson, but her voice ... OMG HER VOICE. This is not even an exaggeration, I needed to take a Xanax because not only did she have the combo of valley girl vocal fry uptalk? she complained about EVERYTHING. “OMG this yard is disgusting! This carpet is horrible! These paint colors are awful! Ew, what is this room supposed to be?” I wish I had muted it, just to keep my anxiety at a manageable level. How her husband can listen to her every day I’ll never know, but god bless him.

I’m glad D’Andra and her mother are in a good place. I’m impressed Brandi still fits into her high school cheerleading uniform. I didn’t notice that Kameron is so knock-kneed before...she hides it well with her typical wardrobe. She also is a gross smacks eater. LeeAnn’s besties with Kameron? I don’t understand what snooty high society-fearing Kameron is getting out of that. I have questions about Cary’s house front being an inch off and it had to be redone. I would like more information about this, because it makes no sense without context.

“Vahine” ”Rhylee” ”...Vah - heen” ”...RHY - LEE” The look of pure terror on that girl’s face as she was leaving the shuttle with Ashton and Rhylee said, “Good luck!” ... she definitely wondered if she was voluntarily walking toward a violent death, but then she went anyway, solving the mystery of who bangs in the production van.

I think Shannon was biting her tongue through most of the reunion so no one could point at her and call her mentally ill just for speaking out loud, even if she did it calmly and quietly. Can’t blame her, I would do the same thing. Gina might have a bit of a tough time finding a new husband in CA. She doesn’t have the polish and style that moneyed men on the west coast typically go for. But, as long as that’s where the father of her children live, she’s pretty well stuck there. I’ve been trying to remember if at any point in all these years I have ever seen Vicki wear a flattering, well fitting ensemble, reunions or any other time, and the answer is no. Even in her “professional” clothes some part(s) of her body are struggling hard to pop out. She goes for trendy instead of classic and stylish, and her clothes always look cheap, like she got them off of one of those sketchy websites where everything runs small, ships from China and is only sewn together tightly enough to wear one, maybe twice over spanx. To me, it’s a bit unfair to go after Kelly for being gone a lot, if the places she is going are RHOC/BRAVO related. This show is her job, and if she is going out of town for work then she shouldn’t be held to the fire over it, because a man certainly wouldn’t be. And considering Vicki has the same job she knows this better than most, which makes her bringing it up even worse.

Tamra’s implants can’t undo the extensive damage that has been done to her chest from all the surgeries she’s had ... that whole area is gruesome now, and it’s time to stop fully exposing that gnarly mess. Does Vicki want to marry Steve so badly in order to take out a life insurance policy on him? They have 5 divorces between them, I do not understand her desperation to be married again. How is “I have an excel spreadsheet on him” an answer to, “Does Brooks even have any money to go after?”. At least she FINALLY admitted that she left Donn for Brooks, after all these years of denying it. Gina’s look is always tacky, but this is super sparkly extra purple fancy reunion tacky, and it’s a lot. Too much. Maybe she does it to make up for being uninteresting. Also, she continues to allude that the divorce was her idea, she chose it, she filed, etc., but I just have a hard time believing it was ever really what she wanted. I had forgotten that early in the season Vicki had the audacity to accuse someone, anyone else of not having a moral compass. Laughable and disgusteen. Shannon looks good, aside from the Zsa Zsa Gabor ostrich feather sleeves on her dress. Gorgeous color on her. Aside from Kelly in red, none of the other women wore flattering colors. The cocaine accusation was one hell of a non-sequitor, clearly she had that sitting on her tongue just waiting to spit it out like venom. I think they might have actually both done cocaine when they were friends partying together, but now that they aren’t friends anymore she lashed out with it as “self defense” to being called a fart. Nice moral compass, Vicki! That one will surely get you into heaven!

I personally would love the opportunity to be Jeff’s assistant. I’ve worked for WAY WORSE than him and never had the anger directed towards me because I know how to be the right kind of employee for a perfectionist. I love his sense of humor, I love watching him work, I get his personality and would be able to complement it rather than clash with it. If only I wasn’t firmly planted on the East Coast, dammit. He hires people with his heart more than his mind. When he likes someone he will find a way to give them a job whether they are the right fit or not. Maybe Lea can help him with that. Her laugh is annoying, but she’s not wrong in the things that she said.

I waited until today to watch this episode because I knew it was going to make me sad, and it sure has. The thing is, I agree that Jeff is too hard sometimes, blunt to the point of being mean, etc., but I also always agree with what he’s saying even if I don’t agree with how he says it. i believe Jenni is a very nice person, and I would be very happy for her if acting worked out for her, but I don’t think she has the talent. Her raps make me cringe. She is funny to me when she does things like spectacularly fall face down, but when she’s trying to be funny...no. She’s also a bit long in the tooth to have a real shot even if she had the talent to get anywhere. Should Jeff have been kinder? Sure. But this is Jeff, and once she basically blamed him for her dead acting career (including as maybe/maybe not being and extra in a Nic Cage movie), not only did her pent up frustrations spill over, so did his. He has always wanted her to be realistic about her chances of becoming an actress, and she has always wanted him to tell her she’s going to be a big success at it. They were never going to meet in the middle on this, and it’s a shame their long, loving friendship had to end this way. I realized here at the end that with Zoila gone and a new staff who actually does their job without complaining, Jeff no longer has problems in that area. I’ve always believed Zoila was the issue there, not his temper. When people do their jobs well, he doesn’t get on their asses to do better. Funny how that works! I hope somehow this show gets renewed. It doesn’t need Jenny. I wish her well in her life as a very fortunate mother and wife of a doctor, and I hope one day that will be enough for her.

Especially if those people were already the worst to begin with.

OF COURSE this long, agonizing shit show would end with Ashley getting the whole million. It’s actually the perfect ending to such a godawfully horrid season. I expect the reunion to be nothing more than an hour of everyone pointing, gesturing and screaming over each other, with so much bleeping that it will be impossible to make out anything that’s being said.

I need a full body massage to work out all the tension I’ve got from this episode. My shoulders were up past my ears by the end. WHY OH WHY couldn’t all of this have happened to the “Where the F are my nuts, this is unacceptable!” women instead of this nice group of people? I would like to know if Chandler told the woman he was setting her on the sand because the walkway was slippery. If he did then the fall is on her for stepping on it anyway, he absolutely did not drop her. Speaking of drop, wouldn’t that slick spot have been a good place to lay one of those drop towels for safety? I hope Chandler’s father has given him a serious talking to after seeing his abhorrent behaviors. Unicorn Chef said he’s just going to be professional with Caroline, but to not respond when she greets him is not professional. He has some growing up to do in that area. Caroline never told him to nor expected him to take on her problems. He’s blaming her for his own sensitivity. I’m not saying she would be fun to work with, but I’ve dealt with way worse and know that it can be done without being a dick about it. Caroline needs a job in a quiet place with predictable tasks and no spontaneity whatsoever. Girl can’t even pretend not to go frantic over a request for orange juice.

Mr. Irritable and I love Emma so very much that we are sad not to be able to see her on TV anymore. We want her to get her own show. We want to adopt her even though she already has good parents. We called Claire “Paris Gellar”, and are not surprised at all that she won. It’s probably for the best because she seemed to be the only one who might have had a full mental breakdown if she’d come in 2nd or 3rd.

I seriously dislike everything about the way Emily “deals” with her mother’s very serious mental illness. I seriously dislike everything about Emily. I don’t even feel bad for her that her husband has zero interest in her whatsoever. The femme fatale theme is lame and awkward. shannon looked GORGEOUS and so classy. Kelly’s crass humor used to annoy me and now I find it almost charming. I blame the new women for forcing me have to find entertainment in Kelly’s dirty dad jokes.

Shamari is enough to make me want to stop watching this season. I had only just come back to it after leaving because of Kim Zolcisk the Horrible, I don’t need to watch a new delusional self-important asshole.

I love Cary more every week. “Feast your eyes, ladies.” Ha!!!

I’m so confused by Tevin and Kenya’s relationship. Samantha now wants to marry her horrible, vile, tremendously awful ex? I can’t with any of these people, they are just too stupid to live. Zac got worse, who would have thought it possible?

Yikes. If this was the only episode I had ever seen it would be enough to make me not want to ever charter a super yacht. A disappointing mess from top to bottom. The family was nice about being stranded without any provisions on their excursion...nicer than I might have been, and I’m pretty easy going about service. This season has more than its fair share of crew members taking their bad moods out on other people. It’s not fun to watch. It’s almost impossible to believe how much worse things seem to get, based on the previews. Holy shit ... kids getting cut open by broken glass on the deck??? That is insane.

I think part of the reason Gina so gleefully and loudly talks in front of the cameras about Matt still having sex with her, and trying (probably succeeding) to have phone sex, is because she hopes whoever Matt is with in L.A. will see it and get upset enough to leave him. Maybe then Matt will see how cool Gina has been about everything and come back to her! The casita is embarrassing. She decorated it like a teenage girl’s room, which I think may be where Gina is stuck mentally and emotionally. Emily’s tablescape was hideous. They couldn’t even score a party room in a restaurant, they had to just make the most out of a table out with the other patrons like my 22nd birthday at Rio Bravo? So low rent for this show. I miss Fancypants Heather’s parties where the guests drink champagne while enjoying stunning views and delicious food (NOT FRIES), and there is high drama when a drunk woman in an evening gown prematurely eats the bow off of the $5,000 cake. It was so creepy listening to Vicky talk about still having a policy on Donn, and that she wants everything. So gross, Vicki can try to tell me Steve is hot, hunky, handsome, etc., but I will never see him as anything other than unattractive, slightly creepy, and feminine looking from behind while wearing sweaters.