Irritable

Disgusting. Poor Donny. I can only console myself by hoping that everyone constantly assures him that if he's ever up for eviction it's only because everyone likes him so much and that's why he's a threat. I can't stand his feelings being hurt! Cody, what a dumbass you are. Nicole has always annoyed me, but watching her on BBAD nearly kills me. Constantly complaining in her nasally, whiny voice...UGH. Thank goodness I record it every night so I can FF past her. And Derrick. I'm down to pretty much watching the late night shows just to hear what crazy or monumentally stupid thing Caleb says next, or to see what Donny is up to. The other night I found myself silently praising Christine for eating an apple with her mouth closed and realized I'm watching a 2 hour show about people eating and bitching about the tiniest bullshit, so who's the real idiot here? At least they're getting paid.

My guess is that Kathy has always had to work really hard to keep her weight down, ESPECIALLY considering all the baking and cooking she does, and once she knew she wasn't going to be one of the official housewives anymore, she relaxed and ate more than she had been, and it got out of control. The twins are icky. Amber is icky. I'm not sure if I find them ickier than the other icky women because I am used to the others by now, but ew. Nothing cute or amusing about any of them. I'm one of the few who is really glad Dina is back. Her tagline blows, but I've always enjoyed seeing her and find her entertaining. I love her accent, somehow it is so natural and less obnoxious than the others. I think she's gorgeous, and while her decorating style definitely involves too much "stuff" for my taste, I do love the way she puts things together, whether it's a room or her outfit. I feel zero sympathy for Teresa and Joe. I can't muster up one ounce of pity for either of them. And the money they stole has been used to spoil their daughters so badly that all of them except for Gia seem to be rotten, entitled monsters. Maybe being taken care of by someone else while Mommy and Daddy are "away at college" (how effing stupid is this crap about making up happy things to call incarceration??) would be good for them in the long run. Living a real life with normal people in a normal home, and by that I mean family members who are not on a TV show, can't hurt them any worse than living with their idiotic parents already has.

It was funny during the conversation last night outside while Caleb slept in the have-not room, someone I think commented that he could sleep anywhere, and Donny said he could probably kill a pig with a stick and then climb up and sleep on it's back, then Frankie took it a step further and said Caleb could probably kill a pig with a stick and sleep in its entrails. But then later, after Caleb woke up and came outside and the previous crowd had changed around a bit, Devin told Caleb that Donny was talking about him, and when Caleb asked what he said Devin told him "that you would kill a pig and sleep in its entrails", which...no, Devin, that was not even close to an accurate recap. So Caleb pondered it silently for a few seconds before responding that he probably wouldn't do that, and then, AND THEN!!!!! He had to ask Devin what entrails were. I laughed so hard! To be fair, he did ask right after if that meant "guts" and Devin said yes, so he sort of knew, but what kind of hunting guide doesn't know the word entrails as part of his daily vocabulary? The whole thing was amusing, then annoying, then pathetic.

Oh, I haven't yet seen the episode where he murdered Van Helsing. I was liking him based on his back story and the job he does so well and with such genuine enthusiasm at the theater. If he keeps on killing people willy nilly, I suppose that's going to get on my nerves pretty good. Of course, he IS a monster, after all, so I should expect no less.

I was all set to hate the hell out of Caliban after he killed my beloved Proteus. I cried actual fat, hot tears when he tore that sweet man in two just after he said he hoped to have 10 friends or more. I think I even yelled "WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?!?!?!" and threatened to kick my television in the ball sack. But damn if Caliban hasn't totally and completely won me over. He's a genius, apparently, because no one of average intelligence can just teach themselves to read with no help, much less understand what they are reading, no matter how many books they have around them. Not only does he understand things, he understands them on a level so deep that it makes me ache for him when he speaks. When he smiles, I want to hug him and invite him over for a nice dinner and to pet my cat, because I trust him that much. At the same time, I know that he is going to do things that will shock me to my core, and I'm constantly cringing when they show his kind friend at the theater, because I know when something bad happens to that man, poor Caliban will totally lose his shit. Whatever he does to Frankenstein, however, is cool with me. Demon, indeed. A huge round of applause from me to the writers and to the actor who have made Caliban one of my absolute favorite complex characters on television, which is saying a lot considering the high level of quality and complexity we have come to expect from TV shows today.

His hair is stupid. I'd do him.

I'm getting really tired of BB casting people under the apparent belief that Obnoxious = Interesting. Donny and maybe, possibly Joey and the cop are the only ones who don't seem to have acute cases of LOOK AT ME LOOK AT MEEEEEEEE! Syndrome. We are two nights into this and I already don't want to hear anyone talk about anyone else's great body, or their own. Yes, there are lots of muscles and nice female figures in the house! But are there any truly unique personalities to go with them? Brains? Or just a bunch of people with enormous egos who would live in a house full of mirrors and TV cameras for no prize at all if it meant that they could be sure lots of people would see them in bikinis or with their shirts off? Basically, a person has to say out loud ONCE that they are hot, pretty, good looking, whatever their brag of choice, and I am done with them. If you are really so aesthetically pleasing, people will notice, you don't have to keep telling them. Anyone who says they "can get anyone they want", I instantly put a hex on them hoping that no one in the house will show even the faintest interest. These blown up heads need a serious reality check, and not the kind that comes from "reality tv". I did enjoy the HOH Challenge. Turning the rats on a spit was clever, and they did a great job of using the same setup but changing the theme. The beehive room is cute, and a perfect accompaniment to the treehouse décor of the house this year. I did laugh, albeit mirthlessly, when Not the Rock said the theme of the house was green veggies. Um...close? Sort of? While Paola's conversations with the men so far have been painfully dumb, she might not even be the dimmest bulb...obviously there will be no deep thinking going on in there this entire summer, by anyone. When it comes time for the trivia challenge, the East Coast will be able to smell the smoke from all those teeny brains spinning out. And to at least attempt to end this on a positive note, I am positive that I will end up hating everyone within the next month if not sooner. Just kidding...my positive conclusion is to say that I really love the bubble tile used in the bathroom this year. It's adorable.

I didn't bother to watch the actual finale, because once CT and Cara Maria were out, I no longer cared who won. Or so I thought. Finding out Bananas won again, and that he has not had to work at an actual job in his adult life because of these challenges actually made me kind of ill. How about maybe don't bring him back next time and let someone else have a shot, huh? I'll at least admit that he made a couple of decent points at the reunion, and might not be a complete idiot, but he's still a jerk. I hope that Nany is maturing and truly understands that Cohutta is a quality person that is worth having in her life. Maybe outside of the party environment she can be faithful to him. She sure did look unhappy while they showed the clips of her with Johnny. Maybe that was embarrassing enough for her to stop behaving the way that she did / usually does on these shows. What I didn't like one bit was her continuing to say that Cohutta was the one who looked stupid when she slept with Johnny. Why does no one ever correct her and tell her that she's the one who looked bad, not Cohutta? I was surprised that Laurel and Jordan are doing well as a couple. Most of these things fizzle out once everyone is out of the hook-up environment. I think Laurel is kind of an ass, as people in regular daily life go, but she looked fantastically gorgeous at the reunion. I also liked her response that she didn't try to talk Jordan out of flipping all the cards because he's capable of making his own decisions. CT at least seemed to enjoy the reunion even if he was never called upon to speak. He cracked me up when he shouted, "BUT WE'RE BEST FRIENDS!" at Cara Maria, and I loved how hard he laughed while Devyn was telling her hysterical story about waking up on the bus with no one around but Uruguayan men, and she decided to go with the one that grabbed her hand because one strange man is better than five. She can come back any time, because that girl is funny and smart. I enjoy her personality and don't care at all how she performs in competitions. I wouldn't hate it if CT and Cara Maria ended up as a couple, but from what she said about Abe, it sounds like maybe they are back together, and if so, ew. Cara Maria, honey, you can do SO MUCH BETTER, and no, your personality is not lacking at all. I was bummed to hear her say that, and to see that despite everything she still has so many insecurities. Overall, this was probably my favorite reunion in a long time, I don't usually laugh out loud at these things but I was amused a lot during this one. Maybe my favorite part was Zach earnestly naming all the Disney princesses, and knowing that Mulan was a warrior, not a princess. I give the whole season a B, because it entertained me and went by too fast, but I can't give an A to anything that awards Bananas with $125,000.

Would taking that one pill be enough to throw Jackie into full withdrawals again if she didn't do any more afterward? I'm not sure how that works. I yelled, "NOOOO JACKIE! FUCK!" when she did it. I had actually thought for a moment that Grace coming home and needing her to be Mommy again would be enough to keep Jackie moving forward, but then I remembered which show I'm watching. Of course that wasn't enough. They are showing us pretty hard how much Eddie still inexplicably seems to care about Jackie. He was an amazing support to her, and while I don't know what detoxing is like personally, I still would have thought she could have mustered up at least the word "thanks" for him at some point along the way.

Oh yeah! I forgot how much I liked the ballroom guy who had auditioned with Whitney before. At this early stage, I would already like to see him make the Top 20. I really thought Courtney was just hoping to get on TV for being over-the-top, so he could do his Wendy Williams impression, maybe get seen by RuPaul and end up on Drag Race (which I think he could do well on). I didn't think he was there as a serious dancer...was he?

This is one of my very favorite shows, I look forward to it every year, and I was so excited to watch tonight, but then...meh. I didn't enjoy it much at all. The dads dancing onstage were gross and embarrassing - especially the "bottle dance" one. Nigel was gross, as usual. The two female judges being told to go onstage to sit in chairs and be lunged and humped at by half naked men was gross. Less gross, more dancing! I am okay with a small amount of backstory if it's interesting or relevant, but if it's just dragging out a sob story for drama's sake, then it has the opposite affect on me and I get put off and start to dislike the dancer, because I detest being manipulated. I liked Caleb okay in the beginning, and wished he would have done better in the choreography round the first time. When he came back and did a performance that was "about" the last voice mail from his father, whatever that even means, and then played a song that LITERALLY HAD THE VOICE MAIL PLAYING IN IT, I was so done with Caleb. Like, I was done with him in a "hey, fuck you, Caleb!" kind of way. Likewise, I would have appreciated Megan more if they hadn't shown her waiting expectantly for tears to pour out of Kat, saying her story is "a lot, a lot", and then going on to say in a very rehearsed and affected way that she "managed to graduate high school, go to college, get a job", and that she is finally starting to enjoy the fact that she's so pretty, or something to that effect. I can see that she's pretty, but the second she tells me she's pretty, it shows less. I can see that she has trained hard and is a motivated person who has big aspirations in spite of the hard knocks she has had from an early age, but when she gets a certain look on her face waiting for everyone to react to her story appropriately because she has told it a thousand times and always gets flooded with praise and awe, well, I become less impressed by her "good attitude" and see it more as almost an entitlement that comes from having a lot of people out there hear her story and give her loads of encouragement. I think there must be a lot more to the story than just "she was on her own since the age of 12", which implies she had to find her own food, shelter and clothing and just live by her wits like a lone gypsy, but I'm going to go way out on a limb and guess that at the very least she was in the foster care system. I'm not without sympathy for her situation, it's incredibly sad, but lots of people have had horrific childhoods who "managed" to graduate from high school, go to college, get a job, etc. That's called working hard for a better life, and many people have done it - probably even many of the other kids who auditioned have had to do the same thing, but didn't want to talk about their meager beginnings on the show because they want to leave it behind, and they don't see what it has to do with what they are trying to achieve now. She is a young, beautiful girl with a lot of talent and a strong, healthy body that is the perfect instrument for her passion. That's a lot more than so many others have. I'm glad she has overcome a bad upbringing, but I hope very much that this is the last we have to hear of it. For some reason, I was expecting to see Twitch tonight, and it was a bummer that he wasn't there. I guess it was on Ellen, he talked about it being a big night for him because the new season was starting...maybe he was one of the choreographers that wasn't shown. I hope he is one of the regulars this season!

I usually watch this show because it's funny, or to snark at how annoying it is, but for some reason this season I am embarrassingly all-in. I am definitely bugged by Andi saying "STAHHP IT" when the men are talking to her. It reminds me of Killy Bensimon for one thing, and also, it's just fucking rude. I hope she finds a new way to show she is listening, like maybe she could say, "Wow!" or "Really!" to express her interest in what they are saying instead of pretty much telling them to shut up. Her use of y'all doesn't bother me, I say it, too, and I agree with those who said earlier that she probably wasn't shown saying it on the Bachelor because she didn't have a reason to address a group of people since she was part of the group. I am putty in production's hands, which I am loathe to admit. Everything with Eric made my heart hurt for him and all that he will never get to do. Her horse racing date looked like fun, and I thought Andi looked positively stunning. The stripper thing normally would gross me out because I find stripping kind of disgusting in general, and watching men do it is uncomfortable for me, but they all were great sports about it and it was over pretty quick. The most annoying part for me overall was Andi getting much too upset about one guy getting drunk and making an ass out of himself, as if that had ANYTHING to do with her whole "journey" and the reasons why any of them were there. Way to overthink things, Andi! It's actually just as simple as a guy accidentally got wasted and acted a fool, it doesn't have any deeper meaning than that. I do think Andi is beautiful, and her turned down mouth doesn't bother me. I actually like that she is letting herself get so lost in conversations that she isn't thinking about keeping her face clamped into a "prettier" position. I'm sure after Juan Pablo's season she saw or heard some of the feedback that people don't like it when her mouth turns down, but damn... that's her face, she can't help it. If she was only doing this to make herself look fantastic on TV, she would be plastering a fake smile on at all times, but seeing her have expressions that are real is a good thing, in my opinion. I don't have a need for the people on this show to look perfect all the time. I'm much more interested in how they behave than how they look.

I didn't realize the actress was pregnant in real life, that makes much more sense now and I see why we weren't able to get more of their "before" friendship out of this. Still, they do a great job of making their BFF status believable with just their actions. I do like kids myself, but the fact that I can't have any of my own makes it extremely hard sometimes to be the very involved auntie. I tried that, and ouch, it hurts like woah. No matter how much you don't want to be a selfish bratty person who feels sorry for herself, there is something about the situation that makes it impossible not to fall into that puddle of self pity sometimes when you are involved with a family you love deeply who are experiencing things you never will. Of course, this isn't necessarily the case with Emma. Maybe she will end up pregnant down the road, and that would put things on a more level field. I do have faith that if anyone can pull off making this situation funny and heartwarming for someone like me, it's these women. And I do realize I am a tiny percentage of their demographic. I will try to focus on the non-baby things that tickle me, like their references to things on Pinterest, which is sort of a big part of my stupid life right now. Pinterest: Dangling Perfection in Your Face and Making You Think You Can Fix Your Whole Life By Creating a Gift Center Nook.

I thought we were shown Jack's definitive last breath, so I would be shocked if he survives into next season. Not to mention all the blood loss. Same with Will...you can't lose as much blood as he did and make it, so if he does that will be stretching my imagination a bit too far, but at the same time I would be thrilled because I love Will and am devastated at the thought of him being gone permanently. The only one I could see as a survivor is Alana, although really, she shouldn't pull through either. And for someone as thorough, organized and unwilling to let a single detail go unnoticed, it's hard for me to believe Hannibal walked away with even a possibility that any of them could survive. Unless he wants them to come after him, of course. Which he might. Sigh. This show, man.

Honestly, I would be just as mad and feel just as betrayed if my husband was giving some woman our money as I would if he was having actual real sex with her. Maybe it's because we don't have much money and work hard for it, I don't know, but I could see ending the marriage over that alone. Add all the other good reasons, and yeah, I'm down with it. I guess they had to add the pregnancy / baby in as a "logical" reason for Emma to come back home for good, but I really wish they had contrived something else because I've seen all the episodes so far On Demand now, and love the dynamic between these women so much that I'm afraid bringing a baby into the plot will ruin things. Of note, I am childless and all my friends have childs. I am also still friends with many of my close childhood friends but once they had the chirren, our relationships inevitably took a hit because the child becomes the center of everything. Not saying it shouldn't, or that I am bitter about my friends taking time away from me to raise their offspring, just saying that longtime friendships do change and suffer to a degree once the kids come along because there is simply not enough room for both to get equal attention. Maybe they will address this on the show, but it's not so much an amusing anecdote as it is a bummer. I became the weirdo with the pasted-on fake smile, desperately clutching a cup of punch while I stood at the back wall at all the baby showers, who always brought one of the best gifts, but couldn't contribute to any of the mommy conversations or genuinely laugh about poopy diapers, and eventually I would slink out, go home and consume a carton of ice cream while I tried unsuccessfully not to cry. Not exactly sitcom material, and I don't particularly want to see Emma in that position. It's true that I am overly sensitive to this side of things, but I would like to think the women who had all the babies wouldn't find that funny, either.

My favorite guest on this show so far is Grumpy Cat. I had no idea I would get so excited, but damn if I didn't squeal with joy when he announced she was behind the bar, bored nearly to death.

As I'm trying to transition myself from TWoP to PTV, I may end up posting the same things to both sites. I'm just not ready to let go of TWoP until that last gasp has gasped, and it looks from the level of activity here that I might not be the only one hanging on until the last possible second. I would be too embarrassed to announce in the middle of a conversation with a group of people that someone had just used a word that was WAY TOO BIG for me to understand. Tamra, the word was only 3 syllables, and I think the rest of us learned it in the 6th grade...please try to catch up. Despite what you think, you didn't just make Heather look bad by pointing out her "snooty" vocabulary, you only succeeded in broadcasting your own tragically limited vocabulary. I would have made a mental note to look the word up later so I would not find myself in that same situation twice. But then, I have time to look up things because I'm not spending my free time complaining about how awful it is to go to a gathering and have to look at people who are not dressed in their most aesthetically pleasing attire. She really seemed to have missed the whole point of the party, or maybe she has a deep-seated fear of attending anything where she can't rely on all the smoke and mirrors of breast-revealing, strategically tailored and structured apparel designed to make her look better than she actually does. Death, taxes and ugly Christmas sweaters are the great equalizers. Shannon and David's situation is certainly awkward. When they came back to the rose petals on the bed, and she reached back for his hand, but by the time he saw it and reached for hers, she was already pulling it away...that was an almost beautifully symbolic moment that showed in a nutshell that they both are still willing to try, but are just a bit out of sync. I would have rooted for them a lot harder after seeing that if I wasn't so disgusted by David not only telling her she "needs" breast implants, but also by him explaining WHY she "needs" them, and doing so in front of the cameras. Honestly, she took that shit a lot better than I would have. Now I get why she wished she was drunker, and wasn't so much into the whole sex thing. Who can have fun, uninhibited sex with a partner who just told them that? Gross. I always fast-forward past any Tamra-Eddie scenes, especially if they are out to dinner. I want to fast-forward past Brooks, but I can't seem to make myself do it, and I always end up feeling a little nauseated afterward.

I was excited to see Marisa Tomei in a laid-back interview setting, because I had only ever seen her in movies. But she mostly just laughed, and it was a very annoying, fake-sounding, monotone laugh, and by the end of the half hour I was like damn, Marisa, please just stop. Boy George was a charmer, though. Loved his story about Princess Diana going over to talk to his mother for 30 minutes because he told her his mum was a fan. I like that Andy is bringing his beagle to the clubhouse every night. We had a beagle with devastating separation anxiety, and if that's why he started bringing his dog to work, then Andy is okay in my book.

I didn't expect Eric Roberts to be such a down to earth, regular guy. He seemed so kind, and loves his wife so much! I appreciate that his home is a normal house in a normal neighborhood, and that they are both animal lovers. His stock went way up for me, because for some odd reason I had this idea that he had been in the media before as a jerk or weirdo or something. Must have had him mixed up with someone else, because he came across as a real darling. Even having co-founded the Food Network, I'm surprised by Robin's wealth. I saw zero chemistry between him and his "partner", and when she mentioned that she has her own house, and referred to going home as going to "Robin's house"...yeah, I agree....beard. I guess it's working for them, but if Robin is actually gay then it makes me sad to think he has lived to such a ripe age and never felt comfortable being himself. Maybe he's not, though. Maybe they are both just asexual. And for the record, Joan, you were NOT almost attacked by that squirrel.

I really love the concept of this show, but either I am getting grouchier as the years go by, or the hunters are getting more complainey and demanding every season. I sometimes watch entire episodes with the sound off because I fear that if I hear one more whiney voiced person complain about something being HORRIBLE and OMG NASTY, when it's simply a feature that is not to their taste, I will snap. I saw a young swim instructor react to seeing carpet with such dramatic revulsion that you would have thought the agent had just taken her to a gory crime scene so fresh that blood was still running down the walls. When people curl up their lips and say a kitchen has to be redone because they don't like the color of the granite countertops, I want to kick them right in the throat. Oh, and when I hear things like, "What were they thinking?!?!" and "That is just AWFUL" about perfectly serviceable and not particularly hideous things that I have in my own home, like for instance, ceiling fans in the bedrooms, it makes me admittedly testy. You don't want a fan in your bedroom? Okay, then say you would take it down and put up a chandelier or whatever, but acting like I have bad taste and my bedroom is a nauseating embarrassment because I like to have extra air circulation at night gets my dander up. I'd like to see these same people walk into a house that had formerly belonged to a hoarder...THEN they would have something legit to complain about, like why is there only stained subflooring throughout, why does the whole place smell like urine and where are all these cockroaches coming from? The people on HH don't seem to have a lot of perspective, they expect high perfection on a low budget that includes everything they want, right down to light fixtures that are already suited to their particular tastes. And a pool. I'm definitely tired of the Holy Trinity, because it seems by now that everyone either wants it, or already has it. I used to think I wanted granite counters, but after seeing how oversaturated the market is with what ends up looking to me like the same kitchen over and over and over, I've decided to do stained concrete counters because I don't really want my kitchen to look like everyone else's. Just as people came to despise the 1970's explosion of Gold and Avocado appliances, so too shall people eventually see granite counters with stainless steel appliances and say, "Ugh, this kitchen is so DATED. It's a total gut job. What were they THINKING????" I didn't mean to say all that, I really came here just to tell someone who would listen how much I disliked the swim instructor because of her lunacy over carpet. ps: I thought I would quietly throw in that home office and/or hobby rooms are great if you are able to have one. Not everyone has a spare room to use just as a home office / workroom / studio, but we are lucky enough to have a bonus room over the garage for our desks with separate computers, plus large work surfaces, storage for supplies and filing of personal and financial documents. I totally understand why some people put that on their wishlist, and when the time comes for us to move, it will be on ours. I know people who have to drag all their stuff out to the dining room table whenever they need to spread out to work on projects, and then put it all away every night for dinner, and that must suck, especially if it's a hobby that uses a ton of supplies.