Irritable

Maybe Amber referenced her father because she realizes that the only opinions these guys care about are the opinions of other men. No reason to mention what her mother might think, because they would just pat her on the head and then run off to the storage room to say, "OMG Amber's mom...the WORST, right? So fake and shady. HATE HER!" Victoria has now reached the FF zone for me. When she corners someone (usually a guy) and whispers nonsensical shit at them for an eternity, petting her fake hair the whole time, I want to punch myself in the face. I have never heard her utter one sentence that was of actual value in any way. At first I gave her credit that she can't be completely stupid, if she can fluently speak two languages, but I have changed my mind about that and now believe that yes, she is COMPLETELY stupid. Shockingly, Jacosta isn't feeling too swell again. Sore throat. It's always something, and I find her and her constant string of issues incredibly boring. When she isn't complaining of her latest malady, she's just sitting around like a lump of uselessness. I'm not positive about the exact dialog, but I think Zach and Cody were talking near the pool table about putting something in their butts? And that it made Cody's stomach hurt? I swear I'm not making this up.

I knew Nick was working up the courage to spill the beans...something about the way he kept on with the "I don't know, you know? I just, you know, you know, I don't know, I'm nervous, you know?" for so excruciatingly long that I finally realized he was at first going to find out if she read his letter, and if so, what she had to say about it (which was nothing), then more waiting to see if she was going to throw him any kind of a bone whatsoever on that stage, and when he was finally positive that she was not going to give him any of what he wanted, he announced that she slept with him, just as he had planned. It seemed very calculated to me. Even if Andi had agreed to meet with him before tonight so that he could say, "you know, I don't know, you know?" to her privately for an hour, it's customary for the No. 2 person to appear on ATFR for the "closure" confrontation, so I think that he would have done this to her no matter what. Well, unless she pulled a Mesnick and promised to dump Josh and marry Nick...anything less than that and he was going to let the information fly. Note that when Chris asked him what he missed most about Andi he said it was the way she made him feel. Telling, that. Go see a counselor, Nick. I don't know how Andi managed to continue conversing with Chris once Grumpy Cat was placed in her arms. I would have been unable to focus on anything else, because Grumpy Cat rules. I appreciated that Josh seemed to like her, and petted her. The only time I've seen a more docile feline was when my cat had surgery and it took a while for her to recover fully from the anesthesia - I could pick up her body and her legs would just swing and dangle. Hopefully GC is just naturally mellow, and not constantly sedated.

Yes! I had actually JUST referenced the whole "Endless Love" thing to Mr. Irritable about Caleb accidentally burning Amber's house down when all he meant to do was start a little fire to scare her so he could be the hero and put it out for her. He seriously needs to be in the care of mental health professionals. I love that Frankie, who believes he's the true puppetmaster of the season, didn't foresee that this brilliant plan to back door Amber would result in her opening her mouth and revealing things that Frankie doesn't want revealed. It's amazing that even the gay man in the house doesn't think women should be allowed to think and speak for themselves. Way to be progressive, you 31 year old effing BELIEBER. Jesus. When it reaches the 11th hour and Caleb starts going into a full blown panic because he really can't do jack shit to save "his queen", I'm hoping for a Beast Mode Meltdown that turns Frankie and Derrick's game upside down, somehow. In fact, up until now I've wanted Caleb to lose every competition, just so I could enjoy the kicks to his ego, but I am now going to be rooting him on just so he can PLEASE cause big discomfort for Frankie, Derrick and Zach. A month ago, the last person I ever expected to pull for would be Caleb, but I'm doing it for all the right reasons - not to see him do well, but just to see him rock the Detonators' boat until it capsizes.

I just watched BBAD from last night, and yeeeeaaaahhhh...Caleb saying over and over that he has this mindblowing plan to scare Amber with the idea of possibly getting backdoored so she will remember "her place" and go running back to it? Made me feel really stabby. He even said it would make for such great tv and actually referenced "the world", not just America, being blown away that the romantic cowboy would actually put up his girl. First of all, fuckface, YOU aren't putting up anyone because YOU are not HOH. Secondly, the world doesn't care about you. That he kept saying that "of course" the alliance would save her, like OBVIOUSLY, but that they would tell her while she was in danger that it was because of the way she has been treating Caleb is so laughable. He sure does waffle between insisting that he hasn't spoken to her in days, and she hasn't spoken to him in days. He also claims that during the POV, Amber chose to sit in front of Cody up against his legs or something, and that she only did it to upset Caleb. It's not even in the realm of possibility that there was no hidden meaning behind where she chose to place her ass while watching the competition, because everything is always about Caleb. I am fascinated by his stupendous level of narcissism. There's a part of me that does not want him or Amber to be evicted because one of the biggest elements of drama will be over for me. I feel bad for Amber, that he attached himself to her at the beginning and has been festering on her ever since, but for my own entertainment, this is serious "get the popcorn and settle in" stuff.

I've never heard of flour making hearts nor tits bigger, in just over a month, especially to the point where you can feel them start pressing on other stuff, so no matter what body parts he was talking about, he's out of his mind. Maybe it's another ploy for attention from Amber...he's setting up a whole, "You'll be sorry when I've died of eating flour and you never told me how much you really love me!" 14 year old girl emo thing.

Wait...why are Amber and Donny targeting each other? This is what I get for FF'ing past a lot of the game whispering, sometimes there is an actual nugget of information that matters. I was just thinking today that Amber, Donny and Victoria should team up together! And I thought Donny didn't much care for Caleb and Christine, so I thought maybe they were his targets.

It's me - I have a personal problem with Derrick's forearms. I find them to be strangely skinny, and wish he would work them with squeeze balls or something. He's not necessarily a circus freak, but those stick arms really jump out at me, and since I don't like him at all, I enjoy making fun of his stupid little appendages.

Oh my gosh, I did hear Tamra say "shoot me" and for some reason it didn't really register with me at the time! Beyond horrid!!!!!!!! I didn't need any more reasons to dislike her, but that one is big, and will stick. She and Ramona are really battling it out for the top spot on my personal Most Disgusting Housewives list.

Maybe Derrick should consider wearing lenseless frames on his stupid forearms. Yeah...I don't really understand the whole "nerd chic" as a fashion movement, as if simply wearing glasses indicates that someone is a nerd, as opposed to merely indicating that they have poor vision which needs correction. I wear contacts, so does that mean I'm not a nerd? But when I take them out, I wear glasses, so during that time I am a nerd? Stupid.

I agree that 150 is a lot of sexual partners by the age of 31, but while I would normally be incredulous about that number, especially since Frankie is so hyperbolic about pretty much everything, I actually can see it being possible. Mostly because he lives in NY and is "famous", and also because he is a very good looking guy and a "type" that a lot of gay men are really into. If he was living the hard partying life he said he did, then he may have been hooking up with a different man 3-5 nights a week. And I don't pretend to be an expert on anything to do with homosexuality, but a close friend of mine who is gay told me himself that in his world, gay men do tend to have A LOT of partners, in some cases they end up sleeping at least once with just about everyone in their own social circles, and it's just a casually known and accepted thing. In my hetero world, I have not found that to be the case - promiscuity is on a much lower level and for the most part you may know a woman here or a man there who sleeps around with people from bars or has an affair with someone in their circle, but it's not anywhere near the scale that my friend had described to me. Wow, Christine just continues to get more gross. Generally speaking, I certainly do not think she's hideous. Wearing contacts instead of glasses would take some of the focus off of her huge nose, she has a pretty smile, decent skin, a nice figure. When compared to the truly average person, she's fine, but unfortunately for her, when she is in a house, on television, with women who look like Amber, Victoria and Brittany, she just isn't going to shine. As someone said before, in her own context she may be considered The Hot Girl, but she is waaaaay out of her context. Just shows that she, like Caleb, isn't really as confident about herself as she tries to appear if she feels the need to tell people that many cops and other people found her super attractive, and that she's so cool that she loves anal. I mean, really, Christine. Ew. Calm down. Telling other people that Amber isn't really so good looking does not make Christine look better, she is just revealing her own insecurities. I remember Devin bitching about Brittany leaving things out the first week, but I think at that time he was talking about her tendency to leave her coffee mugs sitting around in places she had spent time. In the kitchen, I have seen her putting things away and wiping surfaces more than anyone else except maybe Amber. The ants are going to be so excited to see Brittany leave!

Again, Amber comes across to me as an incredibly nice person. Who is constantly being bashed by everyone behind her back for no good reason. When Jocasta started to feel bad last night, Amber jumped up to go get something to take for her upset stomach. That she took it upon herself later as Jocasta worsened to find a bigger, better solution to Jocasta's problem and handle that solution herself speaks volumes about the kind of person she actually is. I'm not a Jocasta fan by any stretch, but I can't see anyone else in that entire pack of assholes besides Donny who would do that for her strictly out of the kindness of their hearts. Caleb helping doesn't really get points from me because he's not doing it for the right reasons (Jesus, I have seen too many episodes of The Bachelor). Amber cleans that nasty bathroom a lot, too, only to find that within hours those heathens have messed it all up again. She is a MUCH better person than I, because that shit would set me off and I would be getting mighty salty at this point toward the people who treat her like she's just there to be housekeeper and give them someone to bitch about. Going into this season, I never would have guessed that I would be all FREE AMBER, but this is what it has come to. Also, they are going to be sorry that they evicted their Chief Cook and Bottle Washer, Brittany. I suppose Amber will just be expected to step up and do all the cooking and food prep from now on, too. Last night someone (Nicole? Victoria?) was bitching because Brittany had the unmitigated GALL to eat peaches that they had cut up earlier, and without even asking! I would love to see a statistical count of how many times that same person ate up food that Brittany prepared without so much as a please or thank you. Fuckers.

Dammit. Frankie really got to me with all his lovely words about his grandfather and his family on BBAD. Maybe because I was pretty much raised by wolves - and not the kind of wolves that protect their offspring, more the kind of wolves that eat their offspring, not for survival but just for fun - I always find myself in awe of people who have close-knit relationships with their families. The letter he read from his mother brought me to tears, it was so completely loving and exactly what Frankie needed down to the very last word. It took a long time for me to understand my family was not like everyone else's, and even to this day I sometimes still forget, so hearing about how truly inspiring, supportive, adoring and wonderful Frankie's family seems to be just based on what he's said, makes me extra sad for him. Of course, because I am Irritable, after all, I felt he went on just a touch too long, but I was impressed that he delivered the whole thing without unloading a truckload of "ummmmms" and "likes", and he really wasn't ON like he normally is. When he is truly himself and not the dramatized, caricature version of himself, he's remarkably charming and intelligent. His passion and excitement about using his winnings from TA to build a school in Africa is beautiful. The whole religion discussion downstairs was boring to me (I was raised with no religious anything, so while I have a basic adult understanding of it, I'm just not interested) until Jocasta had to admit she doesn't necessarily know what she's talking about all the time. When Amber specifically addressed Cody, right in front of Caleb, that God gives grace to those who are humble, and then praised Cody for being humble, I had to giggle because that was so obviously intended for Caleb to hear. Not that Caleb could possibly put it together and realize that he's NOT humble as God wants him to be, especially since he said the only person who can explain religion in a way Caleb can understand is his brother, the pastor. It's probably safe to assume that Caleb likely had a tutor to help him get through Sunday school. The whole Jonah and the Whale story must still confuse the shit out of him. I might be as sick of the Germitard as Nicole is by now. It will be a relief when she can wear regular clothes again.

Oh that's right, I think stripes can really get jiggy on TV screens sometimes, which I have seen when newscasters wear finely striped ties. Caleb's Western shirt was plaid, but since they took away his other one maybe the pattern of the one he was allowed works better on camera. That makes perfect sense, thanks TimWil!

I had no idea Frankie is wealthy. Did I miss that somehow on the show? How did he come to have so much money, I thought he was a dance teacher and YouTube personality, if that even actually counts as a job. Did anyone else hear Christine mention the other night that she was telling the story in the DR about how she has gotten out of 7 speeding tickets, all of which were because she was definitely speeding, by simply "batting her eyelashes" for the officer? I find that incredibly hard to believe happened once, much less 7 times. Also, it's impossible to prove, which makes it seem extra shady. She seems hell bent on trying to convince everyone that she is hot, but in a "everyone outside of this house thinks I'm really hot and sexy" way that is very desperate and pathetic. Last night Nicole kept asking people if they think she is "too feisty". This is a word I have heard her use to describe herself often, and Christine has said it about her, too. What about Nicole could ever qualify as feisty? Do they not understand what that word means? That's one of the last things I would ever say to describe Nicole. Also last night, they decided abruptly that steaks should be grilled, and when Brittany took out the meat she was grossed out by the look of it, wondering if it had gone bad, pointing at some really sketchy coloring on one of the pieces. It was agreed upon between her and whoever was in there with her that the questionable piece would go to Zach. Ha! I find any conversations with Derrick to be so boring that I will usually FF past them no matter who he's speaking to. Even if it's Donny. And I realize this is shallow, but I don't like Derrick's forearms, they are strangely thin, and I resent ever having to look at them. My apologies if he has some sort of forearm disorder that I'm not aware of, but I find them yucky. I did hear him refer to himself last night as "tough" and snickered. Yes, you seem like a real BAMF, Derrick. I'm convinced. Does anyone know why BB doesn't allow houseguests to bring in so many personal pieces of clothing? I understand they don't want company logos, trademarks or advertisements on shirts and hats, but I've heard most of these people complain about different items BB wouldn't let them have which don't sound like they violate the trademark issue. Also, there seems to be an issue with clothes disappearing. Frankie said he just decided to make peace with the fact that once some of his clothes go missing he'll never see them again. I'm so confused by this. This really surprises me, but I very much enjoy Frankie when he is Frank. I can't defend myself, and I can't explain myself. Frank amuses me. edited to add: I'm sorry to hear about Frankie's grandfather. They do seem like an incredibly close family, and I'm sure he will be gutted that he isn't with them during this time. Also, wanted to mention that last night (LAST NIGHT IS WHEN EVERYTHING HAPPENED APPARENTLY!) Zach was alone with a tipsy Victoria and asked her if she would ever go on a date with him outside of the house when the show was over. She said she might, if he apologized to her family for all the mean things he's probably said behind her back, to which he replied, "So that's a no, then" and kind of left her in the dust. Why would he even do that since he is always bashing her so hard to the guys, even to the point of saying he thinks she is bad looking when the others said they thought she was at least cute? Things like this are why I think Zach is a shithead and not just a harmless buffoon.

Oh, someone farther up had asked who the guys were referring to when saying that one of the women wasn't looking her slimmest - it was Brittany. Weirdly, she had on jeans and then changed into a long skirt after they said that, but she couldn't have heard them discussing that her outfit wasn't flattering. I can't say that any of the men's attempts at dressing up were particularly stellar or flattering, but for some reason the women didn't appear to have any discussion about that. Ugh. Gross. I thought it was a little funny that after Zach talked with Brittany again and convinced her not to call a house meeting, that he went back up to tell Cody and started to admit to feeling bad that she was going home, and wishing it could be Jocasta instead. Cody started to admit he felt the same way, and they each started to hilariously blame the other for her being on the block at all, but then they both kind of panicked and went into this whole "I mean, NO, I'm not saying I won't vote her out, I mean, I WILL, I'm just saying, you know, it SUCKS because I think she was just kind of paranoid early on, and isn't really that bad. But SHE HAS TO GO, dude, I get it, totally. I'm just saying maybe she's not so bad. I mean, SHE IS, don't get me wrong! I'm not changing my vote, bro! You know? I'm just saying." mish mash, talking over each other. Would have been funnier to me if I wanted Brittany to go, but I don't. It's only because Donny is in danger with her that I will sadly accept her fate.

Oh lord have mercy, that "date" with Caleb and Amber was so painful to watch. Every time he tries to make her say yes to a date after the show is over, I have only ever heard her say, plain as day, "NO", and he thinks that's just her being coy. We've got the new poster boy for the next NO MEANS NO! campaign. It seemed their entire date consisted of him sitting there telling her all the ways in which he is awesome, and some ways in which she is also awesome, but only when they are the same ways that he is awesome. Like, how they are both such strong competitors and the toughest, best people in the house, which makes them unbeatable. And something about how she doesn't have to worry, because she is part of him, and part of the alliance, and he will always keep his promise that she will be safe, but then he said he's only one man, which almost made it seem that he has some glimmer of understanding that he's not invincible, only to quickly recover and say something else about being the strongest, bestest, fastest, whateverest. He guarantees her that they will make it far together, it's as simple as that, but then went on to nod and agree when Amber said that they are playing a game against each other in which she WILL kick his ass to get the money if she has to. "Yes yes, nod nod, yes yes, we are on a date and it's going really well, I should probably tell her about a few of the goodguy things and adorable behaviors I displayed with my previous girlfriends now..." One of the biggest eye-roll moments for me was when he told her that the reason he set up the "date" was because he wanted everyone to "get" to see them on a date on TV, since no one else would "get" to see them on a date after the show. It was very important that this be televised, because he was doing it for US, you guys. That's proof positive that he is capable of thinking of someone other than himself! Prior to the date he was telling someone that the reason he wants to teach Amber line dancing is because that's what he wants to take her to do on their first date outside of the house, at a place he goes to back home. He gestured towards his jeans and western shirt, as though they were something incredibly special, and indicated they are typical of what he would wear on a night out dancing two-step or, and maybe I misheard him...salsa? Then he said he also had a pearl snap shirt, and this part was not clear to me but I think he said BB wouldn't let him bring it into the house, but that he's probably going to give it to Frankie, because it's a $200+ shirt that a doctor bought for him when he went to Paris or Italy or something. I sort of love the way he always has to mention how special and expensive his things are, how special and rich his family's friends are (I swear he has talked about this "doctor" person before and how he would TOTALLY bring everyone from the BB cast to hang with him in the doctor's lake house). If this doctor is buying Caleb $200 pearl snap shirts, I have to wonder what the motive is there... But anyway, I am straying from the point I wanted to make, which is that the fact he wants her to learn line dancing so that he can take her to the place where HE feels comfortable and wants to show her off is so disgustingly typical of his type. Because he wants her as a trophy, she needs to learn how to properly display herself in his world. Doesn't matter that she might want to do something different (or, you know, nothing at all since she will never go out with him), because this is what HE wants and what HE has envisioned for himself. I guess he lays there at night fantasizing about the two of them doing their THANG on the dance floor, which has been totally cleared for the hometown hero, and then when the song is nearly over he'll pick Amber up and spin her over his head and the crowd surrounding them will cheer and go completely wild. News crews will show up, President Bush will even stop by because he heard Caleb would be there and he wanted to meet that upstanding young man in person to shake his hand, thank him for his service, and congratulate him on getting the girl because he never gave up. Later that night, he drives Amber to the doctor's lake house where she finally admits that yes, she loved him since the moment she first saw him in the BB house, but was too shy to tell him, but now she can confess everything which is that she wants to submit to his every wish forever and ever, amen. What he doesn't realize, is that while he was setting up their fantastic "date" of 2 chairs by the pool and thinking about all the ways it was going to be awesome, she was in the hive room with Nicole who had just warned her about his plan, literally saying, "NOOOOOOOO! This never ends! WHY DOESN'T THIS EVER END????????" edited to add: I almost forgot about the part where he said where he lives people get married when they're 20 and he knows that will end in disaster, so he's 26 now and is PLANNING to settle down and get married by 30. To which Amber replied, "I don't really like to make plans, I like to live life not knowing what's going to happen next." So then Caleb comes back with, "Yeah, me too, I don't plan shit." Good recovery there, buddy, you totally turned that one around to yet another thing you and Amber have in common!

If I were in that house, I would have the 1000 yard stare, too. Victoria has it a lot, also. So much dead time between POV and Eviction, and this particular group seems to talk game 98% of the time, which would KILL ME TO DEATH. Maybe I'm mistaken, but in past seasons it seemed like even if people didn't get along as well, they managed to talk more about things outside of the house and game. And make up ways to entertain themselves. This group does so much sitting around whispering about what they should each do when they win the next HOH, and other speculatory, fantasy crap that has no actual value whatsoever. When anyone claims they are "really close" with someone else, I wonder how that's possible because all they talk about is game game game game game forever. I think they aired the Zac Efron conversation mostly because there wasn't much else to choose from in the way of "fun" segments not related to competitions. It was probably between that and one of the many "jack shack / wet dream" convos that have occurred.

This thought upsets me, maybe because it could honestly happen, but I fear that if Teresa did actual time, she would come out and sell a million cookbooks about how she would make prison food better. A recipe for "Tre's Famous NutriLoaf" with a picture of her smiling and holding it up while wearing a faux prison jumpsuit with the collar turned up and giant diamond earrings. "Tre's Prison Pie - so good you would never throw it at another inmate" with a picture of her smiling and holding a slice up on a velvet pillow next to a gold plastic spork. For whatever reason, this woman actually does sell things with her name attached. I don't understand it, but I am willing to accept that it is reality, and it will gross me out big time if she ends up being able to capitalize on all of this somehow. Downsizing their lives and obtaining money through stable, reliable and consistent means is how to recover from all of this, not continuing to make $50K here and there, only to blow through it in a month on clothes, waxings, beauty services, vacations, etc. without knowing if or when another $50K is coming, and then still say "Those lawyer fees took away the college funds we never set aside in the first place for our daughters! WAAAAAH!!!!".

I agree that the bashing isn't as bad as most other seasons, especially if Evil Dick is set as the bar, but I'm still uncomfortable hearing people say they hate Amber, or anyone for that matter, because no one in the house has done anything extreme enough to be actually hated. I've heard Nicole, Christine, Zach, Frankie and Victoria all use that word about Amber, and I really don't get it. I remember once, really early on, Nicole said she hates the way Amber "lingers", as she herself was laying around in the HOH room while she was not HOH, long before and after Amber was in the room. And why would Victoria hate Amber? If they've had altercations, I've missed them completely. I've also heard Zach, and possibly Derrick, say they hate Victoria, and I think their only reasons are because she is not very smart, and doesn't do much. It's one thing to find her annoying, but again...hate? Every time anyone in the house says that word I flinch a little, because I know how much it would hurt me to find out someone hated me, especially if their reason was because they just don't enjoy my company. And I guess that's the big thing, really...in real life we probably would never find out, but I know that these people will all eventually see this footage and hear people say these things, and no matter what, it will hurt. I felt that things got a little over the top with Devin, too. Victoria constantly calling him evil and saying she hated him. Yes, he was a bad player and acted like a big shithead, but evil seemed a little too harsh. By the time he was evicted and everyone in the house was cheering and someone said they hoped he got booed, I was really hoping he didn't get booed, because at least he accepted that he was being evicted, admitted he knew why, and calmed his offensive behavior long before he left. As much as I couldn't stand him at his worst, I felt bad for him in the end, but that is one of many, MANY reasons I could never play this game. When Amber had to defend herself for sympathizing with Brittany over the really tough punishment she had to endure, I was surprised. If you aren't on the side of the assholes then you don't deserve to be treated like a human being. It's like "how dare Amber be kind to Brittany while she's going through a hard time? Doesn't she understand we want to evict her? Amber is obviously a liar who can't be trusted. We HATE HER!"

I definitely do not think Andrew said the word "blackies", and while I have no idea what he did actually say, I do think that even if he said "She kept the black guys" that there is one way he could have intended it that, in my opinion, would not be in an obviously ugly racist way: if he considered it notable because perhaps Andi has a preference for African American men, then it would mean that he and JJ's chances with her were lower than he first thought. But even still, if meant with zero malice, I think Marquel's biggest problem with the whole thing which he clearly stated once when it first came up and never managed to convey very well again, was that it hurts that he thought he was fitting in as just one of the good catches that Andi had to choose from, only to find out that there are still people who see him as "the black guy". And I agree completely, even though I am white and can never really understand this plight, that when you think you are being noticed and accepted for who you are as a person only to hear that someone still refers to you simply by your race as if that is the only thing that makes you distinguishable from the others, of course that would hurt terribly. If Andrew had simply said to Marquel, "This whole thing is very unfortunate, and I am sorry that you were hurt by it. I stand by my statement that I am not a racist and would not disparage you in that way, but I understand why hearing that would be hurtful", then Marquel would probably have been appeased and the whole thing could have been squashed quickly. JJ is a total skeeze, and I do think he did this to stir up shit, but I don't think he made up the whole thing, maybe just twisted it up a bit to make it even worse than it already was. In any event, the whole thing SUCKED, and I'm glad it's over. I'm surprised so many people think Marcus is blah, but then, I think Chris is blah and would be the most boring Bachelor ever, so I guess there could be a chemistry thing that works even through television. To me, Josh is also very good looking but he doesn't mesmerize me or make my heart do weird fluttery things like seeing Marcus does. I see absolutely nothing attractive about Dylan or Nick. To each his own, but it's definitely interesting to me that it's not necessary to even see someone in person to find them UBER attractive like woah vs. simply thinking they are good looking. I have this same problem with James McAvoy. Yes, other actors are good looking, but he does something to my brain that is weird, and Marcus does the same thing. Anyway, like I said, I fully expect Marcus to disappoint me on Bachelor in Paradise. I have no problem with him being hurt by Andi and then turning around to do that show, because when someone is dumped and heartbroken, isn't it pretty common for them to want to turn right around and find a new romantic distraction? Isn't that where the term "rebound relationship" comes from? Please don't gross me out on that show, Marcus. Just show us that beautiful smile some more, have fun, and don't say anything that makes you look like an asshole.

When Caprice was shown leaning her head over the new babies after they were placed in her arms, the angle of the camera showed how much she looks like Jocelyn Wildenstein. YIKES, woman, back away from the plastic surgeons, and fast. But at least now her face matches her ugly personality. I much prefer it when someone's hideous personality is advertised on the outside, makes it easier to spot them. I think Marissa is so lovely. She just has this clean, refreshing air about her, and looks like she always smells nice. I also like Caroline a great deal. The others, eh...I could take or leave them. I enjoyed the season overall, but it was weird to have an entire show that was completely dedicated to a pack of women taking turns pointing out how rude all the other women are. I've never seen every single word and gesture picked apart and pounded past death so thoroughly in my life, and I watch all the Real Housewives!

The way everyone talks so badly about Amber and she is so incredibly disliked in the house, I feel like I must be watching a totally different show on BBAD and CBS. I've never seen her be anything but very nice to everyone, helpful, always doing stuff in the kitchen and sharing it with others, maybe talking at times with people she trusts about her concerns re: her game or things that upset her, but I don't see how that makes her any different from anyone else there. How is it possible I've already seen a billion and two hours of footage of this season and never once seen Amber be a bitch or a liar or an overly paranoid annoying freak (and by that I mean any moreso than anyone else in the house)? I'm starting to feel myself root for her a little because all the bashing behind her back seems kind of unjustified to me. I mean, these people actually say they HATE her, and maybe it's just me, but that seems rather strong. No matter what Nicole says, I think her dislike of Amber comes from a place of jealousy, because Nicole pretends to be a nerd who isn't like other girls, but she is incredibly vain, and it wouldn't shock me at all if she is just threatened by Amber's beauty and not really so much by Amber's behavior. I pretty much never subscribe to the "she's just jealous" theory, but in this case, I really do think it fits. I think Nicole came in expecting to be The Hot Girl. And in a really weird way, I think Christine came in thinking the same thing about herself (that guys would find her cool and awesome and hot because of the tattoos), but then there was Amber, and it became easy for them to bash her together because she actually IS as good looking as they thought they were.

I've held on longer than I should have, because I used to like Heather so much and was hoping somehow, someway, by some miracle she would redeem herself by the end of this season, but no. She has lost me forever after she whisper-yelled that someone should call an ambulance because Shannon was having a psychotic break. That made ME want to stomp off screaming about what a bitch Heather is, and she hasn't even done any of this to me, so I am totally backing Shannon all the way on this whole battle they've had going. That one moment of Heather's was the ultimate in mean girl behavior, so completely cruel and devious, and yet it was something straight from a movie script, not real life. I love that Lizzie's husband shot that shit down fast and hard. Heather is a wicked, nasty thing whose face looks more like Jim Carrey's version of the Grinch every day. How nice of everyone to just fall into silence after hearing that Ryan's girlfriend has lost both of her parents. And when someone FINALLY says something, it's not, "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!", it's Tamra crying because she would die if she ever lost her own mother. And yeah, to press on about how her father died all the way to his method of choice? Mortifying. I feel bad that this girl is going to marry into so much crude and crazy, she actually seems like a perfectly lovely person so far. I would love to pick up Heather Dubrow by her feet, swing her around a few times and then bash Tamra's face in with Heather's body.

Meh, Chris as the next Bachelor does absolutely nothing for me. I have been unenthusiastic about the lead Bachelors and Bachelorettes before, but my feelings for Chris go beyond low enthusiasm to more of a black hole of interest. Personally, I was hoping Marcus would be next up, but since he's on Bachelor in Paradise, clearly that won't happen. Good lord, I find that man so attractive that it's actually painful. I kept having a "My So Called Life Moment" when they showed Marcus in the lower left while the playback of his rejection was on - he's so beautiful it hurts to look at him. Aside from my vast lack of qualifying factors to be the Bachelorette, I would never make it in the lead spot if I had to look into a face like his and still speak coherently and behave like a normal person. The last time I got this stupid googly assed moon-eyed watching this show was when Reid Rosenthal was on with Jillian. But then he went on Bachelor Pad and totally destroyed all the feelings I had for him. I hope Marcus doesn't do the same thing. I absolutely did not believe what JJ had said AT ALL before, because I find him icky and slimy...until they showed the video of Andrew leaning over and whispering at exactly the moment JJ said he did during the rose ceremony. Sure, we didn't hear what he said, but JJ would have to be incredibly sharp if what Andrew said was actually benign and he held on to it for weeks just to turn it into a lie about horrid racism later, and I don't think JJ is that sharp. Anyway, I don't see how it benefitted JJ to bring it up - it wasn't one of those "Andi, I think you need to know what's being said by one of the guys who isn't here for the right reasons" sabotage moments, so I have come around to believing it, and when Andrew referred to RON instead of Marquel during his response? Well, holy shit, was that ever horrifying. Marquel really does seem to be an A+ human being. I had forgotten how much my heart broke during his farewell on the show when he said he was really looking forward to finding love. It was one of the most genuine moments I think I've ever seen on reality television. Like Marcus, I hope Bachelor in Paradise doesn't ruin him.

I guess it amused me a little that Joe basically thanked Teresa for being able to keep on acting like everything is fine instead of breaking down crying every day like other women would do, making him feel bad when he comes home. Oh, you mean normal women with properly functioning brain cells and emotions? One of Teresa's biggest flaws has always been that no matter what she does or says, no matter how wrong any of it is, she can not and will not admit that SHE messed up. It has been the thing about her that bugged me the most, her ability to just smile and say, "I'M DOING FABULOUS! HATERS GONNA HATE! THEY'RE JUST JEALOUS!", even when her brother and one of her closest friends said they wanted nothing more to do with her. But in this particular situation I guess this flaw has turned out to be her gift. How nice it must be to be able to wear that mask of happiness all day and only cry privately at night. I would be in such deep despair that I would likely be weeping on and off throughout every day, which Joe would not like at all. They definitely married the right people for each other.