Irritable

I would absolutely watch another show with Caleb on it. Funny how things change, because in the beginning I could not stand him, and wanted him to fail spectacularly at everything he did just to kick some holes in his crazy ego. Now, I actually find him endearing in some ways, and while I know he lies about most of his accomplishments, seeing that when Derrick called him out about going to West Point and he just laughed and admitted he didn't, went really far in redeeming him to me. I will never be okay with his insane opinions about how Amber should have reacted to his interest, but because she has been safely away from him for so long that has turned into a hazy memory and I have ever since been incredibly amused by him. Also, some of the stuff he brags about he actually can back up, like he said he was good at juggling, and damn if he isn't. It's weird, but by now, out of everyone left in the house, Caleb is my favorite, and I did not see that coming at all. On the other hand, during week one, I actually not only thought I was going to like Frankie, I thought he was a good looking man (from just a standpoint of chiseled, symmetrical features and fitness, someone that I could understand it if other men found him attractive). Now, I can't look at him without suppressing a heave, I think he is hideous, and his personality, well....we all know how I feel about that. I now sit polar opposite of where I was in the beginning of the season with him. These animal outfits aren't amusing to me. I remember what Jen did with the unitard, and that was pretty much the pinnacle of the wardrobe punishments, because she abided by the rules but still managed to take something that looked silly, to something that looked fabulous. Nicole carrying her beer props were funnier to me than the outfits, and if they changed these punishments from wearing something for 7 days to having to carry around some ridiculous prop all the time, I might enjoy that more. I'm really burned out. These people are killing me with the predictability and the fact that they never talk about anything interesting. Caleb is the only one left who says things that I care to hear the end of, because you never know when he's going to bust out with some non-sequitur, like gangrene.

I enjoyed that the only time we saw Ashlee was when she was losing it over Graham not getting the date card that he didn't even want. In my opinion, the dates aren't really THAT important when it comes to "making a connection" or trying to get to know someone better. They keep referring to it as one-on-one time, but there are still cameramen and someone from production present at all times, so it's not exactly private. You can have lots of one-on-one time sitting together at meals, laying out in the sun, going swimming, etc., even if you are in a group, as long as you are both giving your full attention to each other. My guess is that's why Ashlee is so desperate for another date...around Paradise's home base, Graham could be giving her his full attention, but he's not. We've seen no footage to support her belief that their relationship has grown stronger every week, much less that it will continue after they go home. To me, it feels more like Graham is just biding his time, smiling and trying to keep the crazy lady who claimed him from erupting all over the place. While I think his dramatic near-fainting-vomit of last week's rose ceremony had more to do with something he ate or drank than him being so violently upset that Ashlee is kind of a bitch, I also don't think he is enjoying her company as much as she thinks he does.

He also said if they were outside of the house he would have punched Frankie in the face or something, right? Like, Caleb was so scandalized by Frankie withholding this information that his initial reaction was to want to hit him. It was only after he was able to marinate in the idea that Frankie's sister being a famous singer might in some way help his own singing career that he wasn't mad anymore.

Speculation or not, Kim and Kroy could sit on the sofa in my living room and earnestly explain to me all the sad, terrible ways Kroy's family were "mean" to Kim, wrongly judgmental of her, unfair to her, for 6 hours straight, and I will never believe that it is anything other than they were shocked and horrified to see who Kroy decided to marry, then they got to know her in person and found her to be even worse than they initially thought, they expressed their feelings and possibly said something about Kroy not bringing Kim around if he wants to visit his family, so he and Kim "decided together" to cut them off the same way she cut off her parents. No way is it as simple as "they didn't like the fact that Kim already had two children so we had to cut them out of our lives". No chance. I'll bet 5 years ago Kroy would have never believed that he would one day not be in contact with his family, especially once he had children of his own. It's mind boggling the number of ways Kim has changed him in such a short time. There are a couple of things I am willing to give Kim credit for. One of them is that she does genuinely seem to love her children, and having been raised in a nightmare house where my parents were my biggest enemies, I think it must be SO nice to have a mom like Kim who is truly always on the side of her kids. She's lazy, obnoxious, shallow, dumb, greedy and a whole lot of other things that I think are super gross, but I will admit that she seems to be a good parent even if she does pass more than half of the actual caregiving off to the help. The other thing I will give her credit for is whatever power it is that she wields over men. I can't see it, but maybe that's because I am a straight woman. Perhaps she's got a magical vagina. I can't imagine sex with her could truly be more spectacular than with any other women out there, so there is definitely an It Factor she possesses that convinces men with money to hand it over to her to spend insanely on whatever frivolous bullshit she wants. I suppose on some level that's a talent, and I usually admire people with talents, so I suppose I should admire this even if it's a perplexing talent that disgusts me a bit. I see Kroy as this really good man who was raised by a loving family to be down to earth and solid. He had the world in his hands, the brightest future ahead and when the time came to choose a partner to share it all with, he chose......Kim. I remember my heart broke for his family during the season of the wedding, because I could see all over their faces what they were thinking, and how helpless they were to do anything about the disaster they saw coming. To me, this is proof that we truly can't win if our hearts desperately want someone who is bad for us. When you are drawn to someone so strongly that you just want to drown in them, or in their wigs, as the case may be, then logic flies totally out the window. I have been there, I do get it, but it's still frustrating to watch such a good man wasting (in my perception) his best years and losing tons of money to this vile woman who has so few redeeming qualities. I just feel like there was some better woman out there for him who wouldn't end up putting him in the poor house by the age of 40 if only he hadn't met Kim and veered totally off course. I agree with whomever said upthread that Kim probably jumped at the chance to convince Kroy to cut off contact with his family, because that only secures her clutches on him tighter. She holds all the influence over him now, and that's exactly how she likes it. What I like about this show is those Biermann babies who are absolutely adorable and sweet. I'm glad that out of all this, Kroy got 4 precious kids. And Kim's girls are okay, too, they aren't the assholic little snots you see on so many reality shows. Considering the materialism and weak morals they have been raised to witness their whole lives, those girls could be a LOT worse. I feel bad that all I see for their future is divorce and financial ruin, thanks to Kim, and I could be totally wrong, but just the fact that Kim continues to employ a fucking STYLIST????? at this point is just too ridiculous for me to believe she is the kind of person anyone could really spend their golden years with and not want to strangle her to death. Speaking of stylists, that woman Shun? First of all, that is not how you spell Shawn/Sean/Shaun, so stop pronouncing it that way. Second, she always looks terrible, like she just blew in on a windstorm. Third, I wish she had never gone on the camping trip at all if she wasn't going to do anything other than sit in a chair and demand that someone bring her food. And did she say she didn't want to be lumped in with the help? WTF?? Who exactly do you think you are??? Fourth, Kim said Shun is one of her best friends, as is Sweetie. Is there something really, very wrong with referring to your employees as your closest friends? Because I feel like there is. The only other friend I can think of not on Kim's payroll is the woman who was recently shown pregnant at Kim's house for her baby shower. I am normally very leery of women who don't have at least a small group of close, real friends. In Kim's case, I am not at all surprised that this is the case. Bringing one, much less two wigs camping was beyond stupid. Also, that camping experience turned out to be enjoyable for Kim because it was a top of the line experience. Obviously, the whole campground area had been rented out so there were no other people around. Basic camping usually doesn't include your own fishing dock and leveled, gravel area for sitting around the campfire. Everything was deluxe, everyone else did the work (sorry, Kim helping to fix up plates after Kroy did the cooking doesn't count to me as real helping), and Kim could just sit on her ass and enjoy all the good parts of camping without any of the bad. Coming around to that particular camping experience does not make her a good sport.

It irked me how dramatic Sarah was being over Brooks' arrival. When Graham asked what the story was with her and Brooks she said herself there wasn't one, just that she had met him at the ATFR party and developed a big crush. Unless I missed it, I don't remember Brooks saying he'd been hoping Sarah would be there, too, did he? I remember he said they met, but didn't think there was any acknowledgment beyond that, so all her fretting over whether or not she should break up with Robert because Brooks was in da houz didn't make a lot of sense to me. Why throw away a guy you were really into 5 minutes ago because a guy you don't actually know but have a superficial interest in has arrived? I thought that was pretty shitty, and wonder if she is already starting to develop a large ego. She goes from constantly explaining the depths of her many insecurities, to thinking Brooks being on the same beach as her means she's got a legitimate quandary on her hands to choose between two men. Sarah, you're cute, but you just aren't that interesting, honey. And also, you seem to be a terrible kisser, so please try to remedy that before the next Bachelor spinoff show starts that you will no doubt ask to be a part of. I agree. Those women teaming up to stand threateningly over Jesse with their arms crossed, or hands on hips, like they were going to teach him a damn lesson or two, hell yes they were, because girl power and shit? Is exactly the kind of thing Zack was talking about when he said he's not really into the whole "women's drama" thing. It's this kind of manufactured drama and intensity about "respect" in a situation where it doesn't really apply that weakens the genuine and necessary arguments some women are out there trying to make in the real world about respect.

I concur. I think when someone new comes that there should be an agreed upon (or mandated) type of "formation" that the existing people get into so that the newcomer has no inkling of who is coupled up. I'm not against people then having the option to decline going on the date, because for instance, I think everyone should be allowed to avoid alone time with Jesse Kovaks if they want to, but it would be nice if the positions on the playing field were not immediately apparent when the next players showed up to the game.

Yes. Yes, I did. And once I saw it, I heard zero of what anyone said until he was finally, mercifully gone. Every time he went to hug someone I worried the spider might get on their arm, or hand. When he was walking through the 'jungle" toward the car, I saw that it was still clinging down toward the bottom of the jacket. When he climbed into the limo, it wasn't visible anymore, so I assumed it must have crawled under and was now inside the jacket. Then I wondered if he sat on it. Then as he was sitting in the limo saying words that only sounded to me like "blah blah...spiders spiders omg spiders blah...blah spiders everywhere...blah" I was curled up in the fetal position watching intensely for it to climb up onto his neck or face. At one point a shadow near his shirt collar made me actually scream out loud, because it was just too many minutes of going into spasms of pure revulsion for me to endure silently any longer. Jesus, what a relief when he finally, FINALLY!!! left for good. So funny that he was SUPER EXCITED about those 15 emails he is definitely going to be getting from everyone inviting him to parties and festivals. Yes, Jessie, they will probably get right on that as soon as they are done toasting to you after the rose ceremony. Oh, wait..............these people were over you faster than Zach was over Clare. I mean, did any of the guys even like him???? But please do sit home and keep hitting refresh on your email account, I'm sure there is at least a Groupon or something that will show up in the inbox eventually!

Oh no...that's true. I forgot about how obvious Caleb was when he decided to throw the BoB on Frankie. Dammit, Caleb! Hold it together! If Frankie's epitaph will read: Here lies Frankie J. Grande He was a bit much. Then Caleb's will read: Here lies Caleb Reynolds Quite frankly, he was not subtle.

Christine's laugh has been an honorary houseguest this season, and I'm glad they acknowledged it. Like Victoria, it drives me nuts when she busts out cackling over something mundane... usually something Cody says. I don't know if she is like this in regular life, or if it's part of her strategy for people to want her around because she will always laugh at their jokes, as well as when they drop a Cheerio on the floor. Mr. Irritable watched the montage tonight and was instantly reminded of Jabba the Hutt's laughing sidekick, Salacious Crumb. The resemblance is rather remarkable, actually: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-Y6YfDBmh8

I'm going to go ahead and bet all the money I have right now on the exact moment that this happened: It was the time he announced that he is a "media mogul", then who his sister is, when Victoria squeeeeeeeed, and said, "OMG YOU'RE FAMOUS!!!". Frankie pursed his lips in a knowing smile, said, "I know", and THAT, my friends, is when he popped a boner. Not for Victoria exactly, but because she happened to be the person who said the most seductive words in Frankie's vocabulary.

I knew he would figure out a way to convince himself that the reason America hates him is because America is just a pack of assholes, but it didn't occur to me that he would decide it's because he's just another victim of America's rampant homophobia. There are so many other great reasons to hate him that honestly, it never crossed my mind that he would land on "America just can't handle a man in drag". And since when is Big Brother a family show??? He knows in his black, twisted heart why their stupid "play" was an OVERWHELMING NO, but as long as he doesn't say it out loud, as long as he believes he can convince someone, anyone that it was because he's a victim of bigotry, then he can sleep better tonight.

Oh, meant to mention that Christine is having some anxiety about Tim saying twice now, "Don't forget about me!". She thinks he is trying to send her a message that he's not happy about her behavior. Derrick told her that it definitely was only meant in a positive and loving way, but she's not so sure. This pleases me. My evil side says yes, yessssss, more of thissssssss.

Frankie was right about one thing...he said if this Team America's Task failed, he would lose it, and he absolutely IS losing it. Not only did he give himself a violent case of the hiccups, he even claims to give "zero fucks" once he realized that everyone probably hates him. We believe you, Frankie! The last thing in the world you care about is what others think of you! Now, be sure to repeat that a few more times, while looking directly at the cameras, just to make sure everyone is clear on how much you absolutely don't give a shit that you aren't America's Favorite anything.

Well, it's official. I don't have psychic powers, because if I did, then Christine would have stabbed Frankie to death with her glasses just to make him stop loudly proclaiming how TOTALLY EXCELLENT AND PERFECT IT IS THAT CALEB WON, HE LITERALLY COULD NOT BE HAPPIER WITH THE OUTCOME, IT'S JUST SO GREAT! Why don't you just pee all over Caleb and declare him yours now, Frankie? Listening to him passive-aggressively try to let everyone else know that Caleb's his personal homie makes me want to kick stuff. I need for Caleb to backdoor Frankie, or else I might die. I am just going to take deep breaths and marinate in the juices of Frankie's bitterness and contempt that America "obviously loves Donnie", and enjoy seeing him stew and obsess and fret and be completely bewildered to the point of near tantrums as to why in the hell anyone would like Donnie, of all people, because what's he even done? Donny doesn't even have a famous sister or a You Tube account! It just doesn't make sense! I look forward to him trying to justify out loud, because he can't do anything silently, that he still might have a chance at America's Favorite if he pirouettes and prances and flaps around the house more ostentatiously. Maybe turning everything up a notch will work! Maybe he just needs MORE PINK IN HIS HAIR! [aaaaand...cue total meltdown in Diary Room].

I have worshipped this show for many years, and normally have almost nothing but high praise for several of the pieces. Even the episodes that were a bit lackluster compared to others, I could always find several good routines in it, but this one? I got nuthin'. In fact, I hated it, and feel cheated out of so much precious time. This is supposed to be the best show of the entire season! And it was terrible! I actually laughed out loud at the Dance of the Blind Girl. Too bad it wasn't supposed to be comedy. What a waste of 3 really talented dancers. Valerie was clunky, flailing and lumbering all night, but that's nothing new, I learned weeks ago to just watch her partner, or FF past her solos. This is the first season I honestly don't give a crap who wins, not because I don't like (most of) the dancers, but because they saved all the shittiest routines for the end when we should be blown away the most. I can't get excited about any of this lame dreck.

I have 2 personal email addresses, one business email address, and one family email address that we never really use but we've had it for something like 15 years so we keep it because...I don't know why. Anyway, my point is, that I am going to use all of these addresses to vote against Team America this week. Losing this one will punch Frankie so hard, right in the ego, and I need for that to happen. I hope Frankie's suffering is consolation to Donny for losing the reward.

I've come to the conclusion that watching so many hours of these masticating cows who cannot eat anything without smacking loudly, especially Victoria and Frankie, has caused me to develop Misophonia - a condition that fills me with rage, disgust, hatred and panic when I hear normal, everyday sounds such as people eating. Frankie was crinkling a bag of popcorn while he smacked away at every damn kernel for either 5 minutes or 5 hours, I'm not sure which, and I started to feel genuinely homicidal. Now I'm thinking I want the America's Choice money to be divided up evenly among all of the people who are forced to listen to these infuriating sounds all day, every day, right in their ears through headphones, and then have to listen again during general editing, and then have to listen again during sound editing....I mean, my god, can you IMAGINE? They must get home from work and destroy all their furniture with their bare hands, Hulk style. Seriously, I would go completely and utterly insane. They should get hazard pay, sedatives, deep tissue massages AND counseling.

I find this season so much more enjoyable without Samantha. She nearly ruined Season 1 for me because the sight of her stupid face made me mad. Yes, the new deck hand is lazy and spoiled, but his personality doesn't make my stomach hurt. I don't get why Kat is bitching so hard about the beach picnic thing all of a sudden. This is a part of every charter, just as it was last season. What's the big deal that makes it so much worse this time? This yacht seems much nicer to me than the Honor was. Newer, maybe? Larger, I think. More tastefully decorated and designed, looks like it was done more recently than 1988. I would really love to take a trip on Ohana. Glad to see the Southern lady represent and tip well. I had a feeling she would. That whole group reminded me of people I know, and I kept thinking they were from Georgia, like me, but that's probably just because her name was Georgia. Did they ever actually mention where they are from? We cracked up when Ben said "Don't be a fucking muppet", because we always call Ben a muppet! We think he looks like Ernie, of Bert and Ernie. Or is it Bert? Maybe he's a perfect blend of both, like the love-child-muppet of Bert and Ernie. That tumble off the swing looked like it could have absolutely killed or permanently disabled Kelley. I hope he's okay. Whose dumb ass idea was it to put a loose swing like that over hard steps where people are drinking alcohol?!?!?! Lawsuit: deserved.

How does Googling up one of his lame, childlike videos, or having some stranger say, "Yes, I know that you are Frankie Grande because I have seen you on the internet" prove that he is 21 or over, anyway? So full of SHIT. GOD!!!!!!!! Makes me SO ANGRY!!!!!!! I mean, I already had a bad day, so I'm kind of raw and ripe to hate on Frankie right now, but he has definitely bypassed Caleb when it comes to delusion and ego.

I really loved what Sarah wore to the rose ceremony. That white dress with the large beaded necklace was perfection, and she looked so fresh and youthful. Aside from the granny swimsuit she wore on her date with Marcus, I think she dresses really well and just right for her figure. Mr. Irritable was confused by the whole thing about Clare's father. He said, "I don't get it...is she saying her dad was reincarnated as a sea turtle?" and I said, "No, honey, that would be crazy. She is saying her dad SENT the sea turtle as sign that she is on the right path toward her new life! Please try to keep up."

I'm truly going to miss Elise. If only there could be a spinoff show of her chasing Chris around Chicago, trying to get into his locked apartment, calling his mother just to chat about wedding plans. The finale episode would be Chris filing a restraining order against her, so Elise decides to go see what Dylan's been up to since Paradise, setting up Season 2. How strange that Ashlee and Graham are considered a couple, and have been there for 2 weeks supposedly as a couple, but had not kissed yet. And then to end the date by walking off in separate directions...I know they had keys to two different rooms, but were the rooms in different hotels?

I don't get why they are still bothering with the Neighborhood Watch mission. Even Caleb has figured out there's no point, now that everyone "knows" that Zack was the thief, and has gotten their belongings back. If the stipulation was that a non-TA member had to take a full shift, and Caleb wants to just go to bed, then doesn't that mean it's Mission: Fail and none of the TA members need to keep up the charade? I suddenly had a premonition of Caleb's future, and in my vision, he was a security guard. At Lowe's. Beast Mode Security Guard. Mark my words.

I had no idea there was a renom rule! You're right, there has never been a punishment for this before. They may as well just remove that from the rule book completely if penalties aren't going to happen. Frankie said, in his usual omnipotent manner, that almond milk is LITERALLY just almonds and water mixed together and does not need to be refrigerated. That's not true, and I hope he drinks perished almond milk and goes full Jocasta all over that house. Not just vomiting, but projectile diarrhea and speaking in tongues, the whole works. eta: dammit, I'm wrong. There are both types of almond milk, shelf stable and refrigerated. That doesn't change the Jocasta JuJu that I wish upon Frankie. Fingers are crossed he's got the kind that isn't shelf stable.

If he turned down a Sports Illustrated shoot, it was probably only because he had a shift at Lowe's that day. He was gonna be huge doing modeling for some new fitness apparatus that you fill with water and lift, or something? He couldn't even describe the actual product, but he was going to be their spokesmodel, and it was going to blow up like woah! But then that didn't happen because... well, he didn't say, but I assume it was because he had another shift at Lowe's. Oh, I know! Maybe people are recognizing him from that video of him playing football in high school! The one with all of his highlights? That's it. Mystery solved.

That makes sense, because people in Nashville have no idea who the famous country singers are, so anyone who has a certain look about them, such as wearing a button down shirt wide-open with $200 jeans, tattoos, and "real" cowboy boots with "holes in 'em and everything!" is most likely going to be a superstar that they've just never seen before. Better to play it safe than sorry, beg him for an autograph and a photo, and google him when they get home. That must be so tiresome for Caleb, always being accosted by huge fans who have no clue who he is, when all he wants to do is mind his own business and walk down a sidewalk without fuss.