candall

Right? The prison system would be completely different if only every convict netted ten or twelve thousand bucks a month.

That one daughter has exposed her bosom for the road trip to Georgia.

Why is she soft-selling the lawyer's assessment? It's not "not a good fit"--it's a violation of professional fiduciary regulations. Speak up, mush mouth. He knows he's a con.

Hint: it's a really big dill.

Quote "Jade gets grilled by in-laws; Raneka confronts Asonta; Savannah hatches a plan to get Jake out." Wait. Savannah's organizing a jail break? Well, that should jazz up the LDL action.

I like it. I think I can work Norah into the rotation.

Well, I guess I should have Expected . . . . the . . . . Unexpected, because I would have put money down on Felicia being the first boot. Really, show? The one person over 60 is a bald woman in odd little shift dresses?

Could someone please remind me who Paul's talking about when he mutters, "Fuckin' Norah"?

Is it over? I nodded off.

I'm wondering if Izzy wasn't nudged by pre-production in a direction to make it likely she'd recognize the Cirie-Jared connection. It really ups the intrigue to have a third, unrelated party in on the secret. But to your point, wouldn't it have been great if Izzy had run in, seen Cirie and said, "Hey Jared! YOUR MOM'S HERE!! How cool is that?" .

How much of that hour was devoted to Cirie and Jared? I feel offended and annoyed, on behalf of the other 15 hamsters, that one of their numbers has his freaking MOTHER right there in the house--using all her celebrity, on top of all the advantages the show can possibly bestow on her--to make sure her son is safe and protected. It took all the way up to Episode 2 before Cirie influenced the other players to help Jared's game. If each of those four players initially had a 25% chance of getting voted out, how did those odds shift once the Reality Show Goddess went to work versus each of the four of them advocating on his/her own?

No, Julie's just going to keep drawing out "Expect. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Unexpected." longer and longer until at last the blessed hundredth day arrives.

This is the only show I watch where "finna" is a standard part of the CC lexicon.

Okey dokey then. One of our better LAL franchise attorneys!

Commercial break. What's a Chromecast?

No, Woody Woodpecker. It's called NAGGING.

It's only for a month--OG returns in September. Just enough time to hone our snark to a razor's edge. ⚡

Omg, we've all been together for such a long time.

Would you have hammered in the morning?

Ewww. This is the first time I haven't been able to fast forward quickly enough to cancel out the word "gooder" on the Haribo commercial.

There's not really much grist for the conflict mill on Love During Lockup except phone angst.

Missed her name, but that desperate, pathetic, less than zero self-esteem redhead makes me SAAAAAD.

You cannot convince me that each and every cell phone we see isn't festooned with tiny flecks of lube.

Could I please get a closer look at those clear plastic boots?! DO THEY LIGHT UP??

i dunno. I bet being a prison wife is probably easier than being a regular wife.